#world famous pungle cruise

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Respectively: no one else was in the tomb where it happened, no one else was in the womb where it happened, and "I wanna be in the groom where it happens" (I feel like these jokes are getting progressively worse)

Oh nooooo 😂😂😂

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ok ok ok, here are 3 jokes: why was Burr buried alone, why didn't Burr have any siblings, and what did Laurens say at Hamilton's wedding?

why

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Mom: Where's Denise?

Me: Below the thighs.

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Don't climb the trees. That's high treason.

overheard at work

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We boarded Big Thunder Mountain Railroad on the track to the right of the platform, and when the ride was over, we pulled up to the track to the left of the platform. My friend said "this feels weird! Like, this isn't the right side!" to which I responded, "you are correct. It's the left side."

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Deep cleaning

Me: Are we almost done here?

Dental hygienist: We've only scratched the surface.

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Mitch: What does Cecil order at fast food places?

Me: ಠ_ಠ

Mitch: I don't know, but it's not a Steve Carlsburger.

Me: ಠ_ಠ

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Me: The first time I had a felafel I was like "are you sure this isn't meat?"

Drew: Well, technically it IS fowl.

Me: /confused as heck and thinking maybe I got mixed up and WHAT????

Drew: CHICKpeas.

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Wouldn't want you to get struck by Lightning.

Cast Member asking a guest to move out of the way so Lightning McQueen could drive by

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CM 1: Did the Heat win last year, too?

CM 2: Yeah.

Me: It's summer--the heat always wins.

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An artist was taking doodle requests in a livestream

Person: Draw out a pun.

Me: But if you draw out a pun too long it's not funny anymore.

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When Thunder Met Lacey

Lacey: I didn't know you worked here!

Me: That's how I know her. /points to Kelsey

Lacey: Small world.

Me: No, that's in the other park. /points to Disneyland

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Flik's Attendant: Doesn't this guy bug you?

Me: He is kind of a pest.

Flik's Attendant: Tell you the truth, he makes me kind of antsy.

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Because I'm just so observant

Like a week ago I finally noticed that the hot dog stand at Paradise Pier has a sign that says they sell "The Best of the Wurst."

This makes it a perfect match with Award Wieners in Hollywoodland, which boasts "The Best Wieners in a Supporting Roll."