#would it b problematic of me to say i miss just getting men to pay for my shit like this LMAO.

[sanchoyo]

ouuhgh one of my fav artists is playing nearby in a week and im so torn. I could get tickets, theyre actually reasonably priced..but its a 3 hour drive there (then the drive back) and id be going alone and then id have to ask my mom if I could use her car...I've never been to a concert alone and have no idea how my anxiety would do. but also what if she never performs near here again 😔

[leighas-life]

Review Of Meg, The Trench, Primal Waters, Origins By Steve Alten

Meg #1 (4/5 stars)

*I didn’t write a review for this one, but my thoughts for the second 2 sum up how I feel about Meg (and probably the series as a whole when I finish it.)

The Trench (Meg #2) - 3.5/5

***Trigger warning: Rape is mentioned, along with the person being tortured, there were two attempted rape scenes, one quite graphic and incest.*** The author needs a better editing team. The writing style was good and enjoyable for the most part, although one thing stood out which was the repetitiveness. Jonas felt his temper flaring practically every other page. There was a lot of flashing. How many times can a person flash a smile, or flash their eyes in anger, flash this, flash that....? "For a surreal moment" is also used many times. Once you notice the repetitiveness, it is almost impossible not to notice, which brings you out of the story. Another thing that stood out that took away some enjoyment was a lot of telling instead of showing. Too many characters. I gave up trying to keep track of them. 99% were not important, just written in to be killed. I like how Masao treats Jonas as a true son and not a son-in-law. They have a couple of sweet father-son moments. The actions scenes were suspenseful. I truly felt Terry's terror as she goes through the stuff she went through. There are a couple of characters I hated so much and admit, I was hoping they would die, so Steve Alten is good at writing characters you hate. I do plan on reading more, as I love the entertaining value in these. Some of the triggering and problematic things you can overlook if you go in knowing what to expect. I hope the books get better as the series progresses.

Primal Waters (Meg #3) - 4/5 very problematic stars. 

TW: Because yes, this will have triggers, like the first two. Misogyny, implied/mentioned sex between adults and underage girls, suicide is mentioned, abortion is mentioned, slut and fat-shaming (blink and you might miss the slut-shaming, but it is there.) *** You can go into a vintage horror (or any genre) novel and expect some dark and nasty stuff, including how females are treated, and hey, maybe you even like those books, despite the problematic elements. Those books were a product of the time. I'm honestly not judging your taste in books, because I read them, too. It is nice to be able to turn your brain off sometimes. That being said, the way females are treated in this book just doesn't make sense. Because it is about killer sharks, does that mean it is marketed toward men and that is why all the girls are treated like eye candy, along with underage eye candy to boot? It is just cringy how Terry is described. (The Asian beauty with almond eyes.) I wasn't even at the 30% point and already suicide was mentioned, two instances of underage sex mentioned (with an adult) and one instance of what seems like a forced abortion (man paying for and probably making the underage girl abort her baby), and a cheating scumbag. (And later on in the book there are slut and fat-shaming.) Oh, and of course some shark kills! Which is the real reason to read these, right? Why in the world would Jonas let his underage daughter be one of the "Candy Girls" without even saying a word of protest? “I was hoping you might be able to use Dani behind the scenes, you know, assisting the film crew . . . something to keep her busy.” “Behind the scenes?” Erik laughs. “Your daughter’s eye-candy, Professor, and we can never have too much of that. Dani, as soon as you get settled, come find me and I’ll hook you up with wardrobe. They’ll pick out some nice bikinis, maybe a few after-hour numbers. We’ll pay you to be one of our Candy Girls, my pet name for our Daredevil groupies.” “Excellent.” Danielle’s gloating smile tweaks her father’s blood pressure. *** Also, I can do without shaming people for having body hair. It was just a silly and unneeded line. "God, I miss California. If I date one more woman with hairy legs, I think I’ll—" *** Erik points to the bow where a cocoa-brown African-American woman in a white thong bikini is posing before a photographer and two cameramen. “Not much of an actress, but who cares, she makes—” “I know, great eye-candy.” So, we have an almond-eyed Asian beauty and now a cocoa-brown African American...can't we describe POC without using food? And you don't have to keep reminding us that Terry's Asian as well. We remember! (Later on, there is an olive-skinned Italian as well.) I saw someone call these books "Shallow Entertainment" and they sure are that! I notice that he really likes to go into detail of describing how a female looks, using words like "shapely" a lot. Also, I noticed he points out skin color and eye color of the females often, but only one time did he mention the eye color of a man. I wonder why it is? So we know what eye color the females have when we fantasize about them? I mean, he writes them like "Eye Candy!" The girls on the boat are even called "Candy Girls" by the camera crew. It is basically "Girl's Gone Wild" with stupid daredevil stunts that get people killed. How has this film crew not been sued and how are they allowed to show the deaths on tv? I've never watched the real Girl's Gone Wild, but this book is similar to the Piranha (2010) movie, if you remember the GGW film crew, well, yeah, this book is like that, but with some hungry sharks and people who don't use their brains. Of course, the sex and nudity in this are not graphic or anything, but you get what I mean. That is because Steve does a lot of telling, and not showing. All the people in this book that get put in danger (and end up getting killed) are getting what they deserve. I would never say that about a real-life situation, toward a real victim, but seriously, these characters have bricks for brains. The camera, still looped around his neck, bounces against his chest— —calling out his name. Brian stares at temptation, his fear momentarily subsiding. 'The whale’s dying. Angel’s got to be circling below, waiting to feed again. One shot, just a quick one before you lose the light, then get to shore as fast as you can.' He stops paddling, allowing the kayak to drift as he glances back at Charlie. 'Calm and steady and the Meg won’t even know you’re here. One great shot of her next attack, just one killer shot.' 'Sorry Charlie, but that’s life in the food chain. Damn, this looks good. Okay, Angel, one more time for Daddy while we still have the light. Definitely a cover shot on National Geographic, maybe even Time . . .' This is why I root for the shark! A certain thing keeps happening in this book and jarring me out of the story. Steve Alten has a broken way of writing what are supposed to be suspenseful moments. Personally, I don't like this style. I don't know how to describe it, so I will show you. Balancing atop the wall, he runs back to the arena and the safety of the bleachers as fast as he can— —nitrogen bubbling in his bloodstream. Fergie bounds over another swell and pulls hard on his control strut— —as a powerful updraft catches the kite. Losing the wind, he plummets—a seabird with clipped wings— —as the Megalodon breeches, its head rising at him like a missile, its jaws yawning open, offering an impossible target to miss. Devin flees— —only to be confronted by an even bigger nightmare. This way of writing might be fine if it only happened a couple of times, but it is littered throughout the whole book. One last thing I want to add about Dani, which is a spoiler-ish. [Dani starts off as a teenage spoiled brat; there is no way to say it nicely. I liked how she grew and eventually stopped being such a pain, and she and her father started to see eye to eye again.] Don't get me wrong, despite my complaints, I really do like these books. As I said, it is nice to turn your brain off and enjoy some B movie type books.

Meg Origins (Meg #.05) 2/5 stars.

If you read and liked Meg, this tells the story of when Jonas first met the prehistoric shark. This book is interesting, to say the least. However, some of the writing was dry, dare I say boring. There were some repetitive chapter openings that annoyed me. I guess the editing team didn't notice. Once you notice these repetitive things, it is hard to keep from noticing them and it takes you out of the story. For example: In the Prologue "Captian George Nares stood defiantly on the heaving gun deck." In Chapter 1: "Captian Richard Danielson stood defiantly on the main deck." How does one stand defiantly? Do you stand in a Superman pose, with your hands on your hips? There were so many characters. I wrote a list of characters in case someone was important later on. Large casts are often forgettable. I counted about 20 characters (Plus some more that were not given proper names.) 90% of these people were not important. I liked how there was a nod to the Jaws movie. "Good God, Man! That's more than half the length of the Challenger. A creature that size... we'd need a bigger boat." Steve didn't copy Jaws. Maybe he was inspired somewhat, but the storyline of Meg is completely different from Jaws, yet people are going to still scream copycat. Misogyny, treatment of women. One girl in this is only known by her big boobs. I think she's given a name, but that's about it. You can tell this was written by a man by the way characters describe women. "...tan, oiled breasts two swollen grapefruits in the skimpy red bikini." "...hawkish eyes moved from the pair of jacks in his right hand to the D-cup breasts barely contained beneath the brunette's olive-green tee-shirt." How do you know they're D-cup? Did you measure them, or did she tell you? "Hey, so my boobs are d-cup." These are grown men, but they sound like they are teen boys who just discovered boobs. I'm not a prude by any means, but I can't say I liked this manner of describing people. I notice the men are never described this way. Don't get me wrong, I really do like these books. So far. Meg Origins should be saved only if you are a die-hard fan of the series, though. None of it is new info. It just goes into detail of what the first book already mentioned.

[suffering-and-happy-about-it]

Boys & Girls (Sriracha, Part 40.)

Series description: A problematic college student gets the worst summer job of the ‘83 - Jim Hopper, the Chief of police in your hometown will have you as his secretary since his old lady Flo has two months lasting holiday. It was agreed so Hopper could let you far away from all the trouble.

Part Summary: Family life suited you both and what was better, this time it was going to work out for real.

A/N: And we are officially back in business with ma boi Jim. Also, greatly inspired by Jim Croce since Hopper really loved his music.

Warnings: Weepnig and whining messes on the end of the chapter.

Word count: 4K

Tagging: @nemodoren @missdictatorme @ysljordy @creedslove​ @hopperlover​

Series master list: H E R E

GIF SOURCE

Even if the things were slowly settling down, with you and Jim being definitely in the honeymoon phase again and not being engaged for some unknown reason, it still took some to make all the things right again. You needed to help Jim with making a new ID, you had quite a long scrum with the bank and authorities to even believe that Jim is really and Jim just for him to get a hold on his former conto with the money you both saved over the time. You didn't have access to the money since James was the account holder - but at the end of February, you finally were allowed to use the money and you started to look for a new home - it was incredibly awkward that you both had to live at your parents’ house no matter how many times your ma told you it’s fine.

Jim started to visit a therapist and group therapy sessions in a nearby town and so far, it was doing him justice. He felt better to know some more Vietnam veterans who've been through the same thing he was through - these men had gone through. He called his former colleague Rosario Delgado to ask her about her well being - it was almost ten years since the New York incident and she stopped sending him Christmas postcards. James was trying to get his life together; he wanted to sort everything out after almost twenty years. And he was doing good.

You proceeded to study at the university, still having your old part-time job at the bistro, being there at least three days a week. Jim’s salary of a police officer wasnt bad, not at all, but it still was a downgrade from his Chief salary. It wasn’t that you suddenly were on the edge of poverty, especially with your savings, but you felt the missing money - especially when you were looking for a flat in the downtown. But in the end, you hadn't settled down on a flat; you chose a small house which was still significantly closer to the downtown than the suburban houses.

It was nice - this wasn’t his trail or his cabin where he had already been moved in; this was the first time when you chose, paid, and started to live on a place together. This was the fresh start drawing a flat line behind the Hawkins Lab incident, behind Russia, behind both Vietnam and New York - with endless love, Jim was leaving Sara and Diane behind.

The first few weeks in the house were the best - you hadn't got any TV, any couch, not even a bed or a wardrobe. You had only one mattress on the floor where you were sleeping, a few kitchen appliances, boxed with all of your stuff, and an old gramophone. You couldn't count the running shower which was already there. When you weren't at work or school, you were painting the walls on your own since you didn't exactly have the money to pay a professional painter.

"This is supposed to be a pomelo orange? Are you sure about that? Haven't you took a different bucket on accident?" - Jim yelled at you while you were swabbing a room you decided to have a living room in. You stopped your work and swiped the sweat off your forehead, listening to Jim Croce’s Operator. You unpacked each of James’ Jim Croce vinyl records and moved it into your new place as well, usually listening to Croce while you were working.

James was looking healthier and healthier with each passing month - he gained a few pounds, you couldn't see his ribs anymore, he let his hair grow and his significant ’83 beard was back again. He was looking hot, especially in an unbuttoned shirt and a new Jim Croce shirt you ordered him for his name day - which was more than three months away, but you loved it so much that you couldn't stop yourself.

He was standing there looking at the wall, the orange paint was all over his body, but not on his shirt as he held the paint roller in his palm. Yeah, you could see what he was talking about - it was more peachy than a pomelo, but you liked it nonetheless. - "Maybe it’ll be looking better once it dries up, hm?" - You whispered and hugged him from behind slowly. You were still careful with the touches and freaking him out, but it was undeniable that it got better. Gently, you kissed his shoulder and smiled at the work he had done.

"It looks great Hopper." - You nodded with a grin. He circled his palms around yours and swayed his hips in the rhythm of the song. You did so as well. Slowly, he turned around to face you, smiling down on you. You smiled back, expecting a kiss - only to have the paint rolled all over your face. You closed your eyes and grunted angrily.

"Oh yea, I can see the pomelo color now. I think you were rite. Why don't you have more clothes in this color? It suits you." - Jim grinned before he pressed his face to yours so some of the paint pressed on his skin too.

"This was unnecessary - so now, I will angrily continue the things I was up to before you called out." - You said with fake drama in your voice, being the drama queen you always were. You had already put your arms from his hips, pulling away, when he leaned in for a kiss. You felt the paint on your tongue, which was indeed disgusting.

"It was completely necessary, in my defense, miss Y/L/N." - James yelled at you after a while. You chuckled, yelling back at him why he thinks so, continuing with cleaning up the room. - "Isn't that obvious? My girlfriend now has to take a shower before the paint settles down in her hair and since I have it on my face too, you know that does that mean." - Jim suddenly stood up the doorframe, watching you on the floor trying to clean up the fucking wooden floor.

A burst of unbelieving laughter came out of your lips as you watched him. - "This is a genius move for a dumbass like you, Hopper, I gotta say. But you'll have to play Speedball Tucker if you want to see me undressing." - You stood up and bit your lip, having Jim already walking to the gramophone.

"Why is it that this song does things to you?" - Jim asked and stopped the music to put in Life & Times by Croce. You shrugged your shoulders with a nasty smile, already unbuttoning the first buttons.

"I don't know. Maybe it’s because you hum it all the time? But play me You Don't Mess Around With Jim in the bed and I'll show you things you haven't seen yet." - Your short snort resonated through the living room as you turned around to walk to the bathroom. - "You sure will." - Jim snorted back, already throwing his shirt on the floor.

Eleven was over her heels when she came to visit Hawkins on spring break with Joyce. While Joyce was staying at your mum’s, her sons were at Wheelers’, Eleven was staying at your place in her room - it was also the only room which was finished - she had a bed there, a bookshelf for schoolbooks and comic books, a large table you bought on a flea market with a chair in the pair and you told her that she can have some posters and as many photo frames as she wants to. It still needed small touches, but it also meant one thing. It was a silent promise that soon enough, you'll be a family again.

In the end, you decided to put up some of Sara's photos. You knew it was really important Jim, but you needed to talk him down into it. You loved one of the photos from her kindergarten which you put up in the kitchen. When Joyce saw that you hung the picture up, her eyes teared up as she smiled. It also sparkled a rather interesting conversation between you and James.

"How was it like?" - You asked when you were preparing dinner. Jim was sitting at the improvised table; you still had an empty living room, hall and the master bedroom was consisting of the mattress only. He looked up from a detective novel he was reading, looking up at you.

"What? You mean seducin' you? I'm a piece of cake so you gave in pretty easily." - He grinned, having a smile from ear to ear. It was around five p.m. and Eleven was soon about to come home. Tomorrow, you had a family dinner at Enzo's in the plan - Mike was supposed to come, Aiden and Lena drove from New Orleans in the evening.

"Hold your horses. A) you're wrong because I'm a sex bomb and you were all over the place from me and b) no, I don't mean this... I mean... How was it like to have such a small baby girl?" - You answered from concentrating on having the pepper perfectly cut. Hopper closed the book, holding the page with his fingers. His eyes widened and cheeks filled when he slowly inhaled some air.

"It's somethin' you can't even describe. It's fillin' up to the bottom of your soul, you more than love every second of it. When the child hugs you, you just feel sorta warm next to your heart. You only want them to be safe and happy every day, you'd do every little thin' just to see them smile." - Hopper got out with noticeable pauses - he wasn't good with his words, but you could hear that he means every letter of what he had said.

"That sounds just... Lovely." - You sighed and let's be honest, the smile on your face was freaking James out. He was watching you without looking away. - "What would you say..." - You bit your lip and looked Jim in the eyes. Hopper's eyes widened almost unnoticeable.

"If you'd have a chance to do it again?" - You whispered and at that moment, Eleven entered the house, so panicked Hopper didn't have a chance to answer. Playfully, you rose your eyebrows happily and turned back to the pepper. - "Just think about it, yeah?"

Of course, this was about to come. You were young, your thirties were almost six years away and one day, this question was about to come his way. Kids. You never talked about having kids - you already had one. But not about really settling down to have a real family life. With small kids.

Was James even ready to try it again? Or was he simply too old to raise a kid? Or two of them? Sure, you'll soon be done with university and your parents would help you with every little thing you'd ask them, yet James couldn't forget that this was Hawkins in Indiana. This place was dangerous. Especially for James Hopper.

But you said it out loud. That you want to have kids. Sure, El was your kid, your baby girl and you'd kick ass to anyone who'd try to harm her. But there was an itsy bitsy thing - you didn't give birth to her which could do a lot. You proclaimed her as your rightful kid, you were written down in her birth certificate.

James was out of the world for both the following evening and he was even more stressed out the other day when you were supposed to go to Enzo's.

Your question had pulled some damn switch inside of him; he wasn't able to properly fall asleep the whole night thinking about the kid thingy. The only thing James could say for sure was that if you'd have a girl, she would look like an angel; because you were one. But that wasnt all.

"Are you having nightmares or what's wrong with you?" - You mumbled from somewhere under your blanket. You mostly were doing that during winter and in the early spring - only your head could be seen because your whole body was curled up under the blanket to keep you warm. You moved around a bit before Jim could register your face.

"Should somethin’ be wrong with me?" - James hummed and brought you closer to warm you up. You were as cold as ice. Carefully, you wrapped your leg around his waist, leaving out a long sigh.

"You're turning around all the time and make the mattress move. Something on your mind, Hop?" - You yawned and put your temple on his shoulder, closing your eyes again. You were smiling without realizing; just smelling him and feeling him close was making you happy. And you fell asleep again almost immediately.

Jim wanted to ask you to marry him on the family, this time, he made sure he adhered to the traditions - first, earlier that day when he was dropping El at your parents’ house before she was supposed to see Mike, he talked with your father. Both he and Molly couldn't understand why did he cancel the engagement in the first place, just to ask them.

He did the best to tell them that he's now trying to turn his life around, starting from a literal zero - he contacted his old colleagues like Rosario and Vietnam comrades, he said goodbye to Sara, bought the house with you and renovated it. James just wanted a new life and he wanted to start it in the right way with you by his side. That was what made your dad give him his blessing.

On top of that, you were controlling how much did he smoke and how much Tuinal did he take - it wasn’t meant in a bad way and James knew that - he was just fucking grateful that you took the role of his guardian angel. You couldn't be described any other way than being a guardian angel.

But if he proposes to you, then marries you... Kids were just the next step, right? When Jim finally fell asleep, it was while he held your waist and tried to think about what would it look like. James was almost forty-four years old. He would be sixty when the kid would be sixteen, sixty-four when they would be twenty. Which was horrifying and more than that. He was thirty when Sara was born which was an ideal age in his opinion. He was thirty-seven when she died. Would he be even able to be a good dad? Jim thought that he was in a fairly good condition, thanks to his police work, but a kid...  

The other evening, Jim put on his best shirt and tuxedo, looking at himself in the mirror as he was adjusting the small details - this tuxedo he had at the first family dinner in your house. Eleven peaked into the room before she entered.

She was a grown-up since the last time James had seen her - she had longer hair, she was more tanned, taller and even her face seemed to be more adult. James admired that Eleven was always an adult in some way. Ever since Jim met her, in some things, she was drastically more matured than kids her age - she knew things people her age didn't have a single idea about. Yet now it seemed that her personality had deepened even more than before.

Eleven had a nice dress on and you helped her put her hair in a messy bun. She smiled at James and checked that the door is closed.

"Are you okay?" - She asked excitedly. Right at the moment, you were in the living room with Mike and you two were chatting while drinking some lemonade you made. He was supposed to make you occupied while Eleven went to check up on Hopper.

"How can I be okay?" - Hopper said with an unnerved laugher and went to sit down on your bed. Eleven laughed as well and sat next to him; she hugged his shoulder and shook him a bit.

"Mom said yes before and she loves you. She will say yes again, I'm sure." - Eleven smiled and put her temple on Jim's shoulder, letting him kiss the back of her head. She could now speak as kids her age did. Eleven was talking fluently, without hesitation, but yes, sometimes she still thought about how to put a sentence in a certain way. - "Grandpa said yes too, he knows you two should be together."

"How did you come to that conclusion, kiddo? Hm?" - Jim chuckled at her words. He knew what Eleven was trying to tell him, but it was too adorable not to make fun of.

"I've heard that in a movie I was watching with Joyce and Will." - She smiled and at that moment, they both turned their heads to the door, hearing as you called out for them. It was time to go. Eleven got up first, giving her palm to Hopper to help him get up. - "You can do it. Its just one question."

"Geez, you're a smart one, kiddo." - Hopper chuckled, following her out of the room. You and Mike were waiting under the staircase. Even if Jim saw you before and he knew how would you look like, he was wonderstruck when he saw you in your blue dress with your hair styled masterfully.

"What were you two up to, huh?" - You asked both of them, tying up his tie again, properly this time. - "Are you having secrets again?" - You joked, making Eleven smile innocently as she stood up next to Mike and entwined her elbow with his. After taking too many photos and embarrassing the hell out of Mike, Jim laid in with his dad jokes that time, yo rode to the restaurant.

Mike on the backseat was visibly sweating. He always thought that Eleven has Hopper and you - he forgot that you have a brother and parents. If he was worried about something, it was that he won't make a good first impression. Which would embarrass him to death? Yet, you were telling the whole time that he's perfectly fine. It was strange to realize that Aiden was only six years older than them. That wasn’t too much. And you weren't much older either.

Seeing your family gather around one table was a thing that made you so happy, that smiled didn't leave your face the whole afternoon. Mike, in the end, was happy too - he and Eleven befriended your cousin Andrea who was at their age, so these three had so many to talk about and so did you, the adults sitting there. The food in Enzo’s was delicious and this time, you hadn't got any surprise which would make faint. Even the fine wine you loved so much was ordered and Jim offered that this time, he would drive home - which meant that you had nothing to be worried or angry about.

Everyone shut up when a man stood up from the chair he was sitting on and you were looking at him with awe. Your palm circled Jims as you watched your younger brother getting himself to propose to his girlfriend. Which was kinda scaring Jim, since that was his plan that evening?

The things Aiden told her were one of the sweetest you had ever head. With a contained smile, you leaned to James’ shoulder, watching Aiden getting on his knee with a face that was showing his emotions. He was lost over the heels for Lena, his heart was surely beating for her. You didn't notice your dad having intense eye contact with Jim since he was waiting for the older man to do the exact thing his son had just done.

And you asked what's wrong when Jim took a deep breath in, trying not to faint. He was stressed. He was facing stress. The last time he was doing this was behind a locked door to his office. Not in a restaurant, let alone your family being present.

"Jim, are you having a heart attack?" - You put your palms on his jaws, looking at his reddened cheeks and completely sweaty forehead. Hopper shook his head, having his eyes widening with each passing second. It was now or never situation. Naturally, everyone was extra-surprised when Hopper suddenly stood up as well and exhaled loudly.

It didn't take you too much time to figure out what's happening there. You had seen him this nervous once already and boy oh boy, here it was again. It was nice and you knew that most likely, he had encouraged himself for weeks before he was ready to get on that damn knee again.

"My dear Y/N." - He started, watching your father as if the man would tell him what should he say next - and the funniest part was that your father watched him as well in the same way. Then Jim’s palm took a hold on the back of your chair, the man leaning down a bit. The guests inside Enzo’s were nervous. One proposal was a classic, but two at once? That was extraordinary.

"I want... To... Tell you..." - Jim started slowly as he tried to get his self-confidence back. You nodded and caught his other palm to show him that he's fine. Nothing could ruin his moment. - "I love you. Very much. And that I know you hadn't got it exactly easy with me past couple of months. And neither of the people had it easy with us. It's just how it is, and I'm grateful for everything you've been willing to give me - family, a new home, the feeling of being safe, and useful. You made me see a million things I haven't seen before meeting you and I have to thank you and your family for that." - Jim looked around nervously, having you still smiling in front of him.

Joyce surely wrote this speech too. She was a mister of romantic words full of love, which wasn’t exactly Hopper’s area. He was more about showing love than telling the words yet you liked that about him. This was just Joyce’s work.

"And for that, I would be honored," - Was the part where he got on his knees finally and this time, it felt like a proposal for a wedding. Not some Hopper’s ’I would be up for marriage if you want to’. This looked like a real ’Do you want to spend the rest of your life by my side?’, which brought happy tears to your eyes. - "If you'd like to become my wife and have me by your side until the day we both get old and wrinkly."

That was maybe the best Hopper could get out of himself, but let's be honest, it left you a whining and nodding mess, since you couldn't say a single word at that moment. The last thing you remembered clearly from that evening was when Hopper gently picked you up from the ground when you had the ring on, weeping here and there as well.

[hellzyeahthewebwieldingavenger]

Spider-Girls #2 Thoughts

Mixed feelings but don’t get it twisted they’re mostly good mixed feelings.

When I say I have mixed feelings it’s a case of me trying to decide what this series is.

Now I went into Spider-Girls expecting it to essentially be Spider-Geddon’s equivalent of Scarlet Spiders in that every issue would focus upon one of the 3 main spider characters (wow I’ve never used the word spider so many times in a sentence before).

What I wanted from Spider-Girls was a lot of Mayday focus and/or her interacting with Annie and addressing the fact they are pseudo sisters.

However my expectations were in fairness not based upon what was advertised, the series wasn’t stated to follow that narrative structure. As for what I wanted this series has delivered on that to a certain extent.

But more importantly than what I expected or wanted is what the series actually is, what it’s trying to be and whether it lives up to that.

And that’s where I’m debating with myself how to evaluate this.

Because it’s clear to me to a large extent Spider-Girls #1-3 is effectively....Renew Your Vows #24-26 (or #29-31 technically).

Put aside how the book is written by Houser for the moment. These past two issues have seen Annie as the focus character, the action wholly take place in her world, involve her supporting characters, centre upon her powers and utilize major plot elements from her book. So like I said this doesn’t just continue Annie’s story from RYV it is to a large extent the next 3 issues of the title.

Key phrase there though, ‘to a large extent’.

Because the series also pays attention to Mayday. She’s not the POV character, we don’t see her internal thoughts, but her emotional journey in this story is given panel time and played as important. Anya’s isn’t.

If this series is supposed to be about all of them as the main characters then this is bad, because Annie is stealing the limelight. But if this is a continuation of RYV it is also bad because Mayday and Anya have basically replaced Peter and MJ’s roles as second/third fiddle to Annie and that series was supposed to be about the whole family.

Buuuuuuuut...the series isn’t titled RYV, it’s it’s own off to the side mini-series.

So in that sense we’re sort of in a unique situation wherein it has to adhere to established continuity of all these characters (in Anya’s case I know next to nothing so let me know about that) but it doesn’t have to be consistent with RYV’s central premise.

Houser is free essentially to do as she wishes so long as she’s consistent within the context of this book.

So evidently the series is about Annie amidst an adventure where she is joined by Anya and Mayday. I guess then a more appropriate title would be Annie and the Spider-Girls but that makes for a lame title.

The fact that this is an off to the side thing also helps or mitigates the fact that there is a mystical aspect to this series which normally shouldn’t be in a Spider-Man book nor RYV.

Now that I’ve gotten that out of the way, within what this book is trying to be, is it any good?

The answer is in fact yes, it is very, very good.

From my personal POV I want so much more Mayday/Mayday and Annie interactions but I can’t hold that against the comic. Especially when what we do get of Mayday is done well and is respectful to her character; unlike the cover which saw fit to omit her apparently.

We get direct references and flashbacks to Mayday’s past, with the writing and art clearly demonstrating they did their research.* Normie was a huge part of Spider-Girl and having Mayday think about him and for the comic to briefly play compare and contrast with RYV Normie is both natural and very appreciated. It also helps to explore Mayday’s character, something worthwhile given how long ago her series was. You can tell from the art and dialogue her romantic feelings for Normie still sting a bit.

Houser doesn’t rely just upon going over old ground with Mayday, she continues to showcase Mayday’s feelings of unease in Annie’s universe, which is perfectly natural. She also uses Anya quite effectively in this way.

Were I an Anya fan (as opposed to someone who resents her for getting Mayday cancelled and stealing her name) I might be more upset about that and her over all treatment in this book. Because this is Mayday and (even moreso) Annie’s story, Anya is kind of just there as a vehicle to propel the plot and to get help explore Mayday’s feelings. As she says herself she’s not a Parker which I choose to take as Houser throwing shade at Anya and I love it. The only thing I dislike regarding her use really is

a)      Her tension with Normie. She claims Normie having six arms should convince him to believe in her magical mumbo jumbo but really that doesn’t stack up. Science and sorcery are different things to the man on the street. A genetic experiment giving you six arms is frankly easier to buy than magic scrolls

b)      Her inclusion at all. Beyond helping Mayday to open up I see little creative rationale for her inclusion if anything the story would be stronger if it really was just Mayday and Annie. I’m sure you could find some reason for Mayday to go after Annie alone even with the same central premise. Like I dunno say Anya and Mayday got attacked and separated, with Mayday getting a hold of the scrolls or something.

Going back to Mayday briefly, one thing that is a double edged sword is how she’s changed since Spider-Verse.

By this I don’t mean her costume (I kind of miss her Spider Island suit but oh well).

I mean that she’s become a bit more cynical. Not overly so but it’s there. She refers to her adventures as Spider-Girl as a very distant past, going so far as to say ‘back in High School’. I’m choosing to take that as not meaning Mayday has graduated because that wouldn’t make sense. But the fact she refers to high school like that and treating her high school worries back then as meaningless is a clear sign of how she’s changed.

This is as I said a double edged sword.

It’s bad for two key reasons. The first is that it gives new readers a warped impression of Mayday and wouldn’t encourage them to check out her old stories (which Marvel wants you to do hence her recent epic books and this series happening around her 20th anniversary) let alone helping get her any new stories. Secondly it’s simply for older fans not the Mayday we knew and loved. Don’t get me wrong it’s a drastic improvement of how not  like Mayday she was in Spider-Verse but it still undermines including her when surely the point of that is to entice back older fans.

On the flipside though it is entirely realistic for Mayday to feel this way in the wake of what happened in Spider-Verse and Web Warriors, especially as some stories have implied (illogical as this is) that she’s spent most of her time with the latter group. Losing your Dad violently, then being embroiled in a war for survival, then acting as a police officer of countless worlds, then being stranded in one of them, losing your newly found ‘Grandpa’ and then finding yourself in another violent war with the same people will believably make your old high school worries seem trivial.

In a sense I feel for Houser as she is in a lose-lose situation.

Spider-Girl fans want the Mayday we know and love but we also want her to be treated believably and to develop as a character (albeit preferably under the pens of her creators). In the context of this situation those a mutually exclusive goals.

Houser has opted for the latter which I guess if nothing else helps maintain Mayday’s verisimilitude so that hopefully in the future writers may pick up on her and course correct her organically. It’s also in line with the direction her creators chose to adopt for her in the wake of her Dad’s death so Houser is continuing to be respectful. In fact between the respect she’s shown and how much her run echoed Spider-Girl’s I think she might be a fan.

In a lot of ways the situation brings my mind back to Howard Mackie’s Hulk issue of PPSM. It saw Spider-Man picking a fight with the Hulk in the immediate wake of losing Mary Jane. Losing MJ was a horrible situation that should never have happened (much like everything involving Mayday in Spider-Verse and beyond) but the story was good within that bad context.

Moving on to Annie, as much as I complained about the over focus upon her in RYV, her exploration here ain’t bad. We acknowledge that she’ll feel a little adrift with her parents gone and her sense of reality opening up. It’s also right and proper she feel guilty about what goes down. I think much more could’ve been done with her though. I know we have a fair amount of plot to get through but you had space for more thought captions.

As for the elements of her series that have come back they kind of make me feel better and worse about the final RYV arc.

Looking back the final arc of RYV was probably it’s worst, at least of the second volume. There were major problems with Slott’s first volume when you look at it.

But a lot of elements from that arc clearly were written in as set up for Spider-Girls. Normie’s mutation. The spider creatures created from Annie’s blood. Her hyped up Spider Sense. Peter and MJ’s first child.

That’s all to this series’ benefit because we need not waste any of the 3 issues we have setting that stuff up. In that sense I can see now why that final arc was the way it was to some extent. The X-Men connection is still unforgivable though. On the other hand though it means that the grand finale of that whole series was in service of this which taints the arc as a whole. Not only was it problematic unto itself but it existed for something else, that isn’t even technically the actual finale arc of the series. It’s a spin-off continuation for one particular character from that book.

Anyway let’s wrap up with a few smaller points.

·         We have the Inheritors show. Up obviously I hate seeing them but I guess it’s mandatory. I will say that the choice to use the twin Inheritors is a neat one given the story revolving around two pseudo sisters in this series.

·         I didn’t think of this at the time but Normie’s six arms are reminiscent of his black costume form in Spider-Girl. That works well in this series but it retroactively makes it’s inclusion in RYV yet more derivative of MC2.

·         I liked the brief interaction between Annie’s parents and the Spider-Girls. It was believable for parents to behave that way.

·         I liked how the series went as far as to point out some of the spider creatures were deemed fit for trial so they didn’t all get jailed nor let off the hook.

·         There is a spelling error in the comic when Normie says ‘immortal  spider powers people’ it should be spider powered . A nitpick and rich coming from me I know but my blog isn’t a professionally written comic you pay for.

·         The art is faaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaantastic! I makes me made these 3 issues have better art than basically all of Houser’s RYV run.  Special kudos for that cool splash page.

Much as I can pick problems with this issue it was still really lovely to read.

*Except on Normie’s black costume design but that’s an artistic licence thing I guess. They balance it out by recreating a Spider-Girl cover, from ASG IIRC. Also they fixed her legs unlike last issue so kudos.

[purplesurveys]

397

Do you eat the crusts of your bread? Now I do. When I was a kid I used to ask my grandma to slice them off. Do you know who Miss Havisham is? Only because of Gabie. Which body type would you say you had? Idk, slim? Would you live in an igloo? I’d try it out for a night, but I don’t know about live. Have you ever made homemade lemonade? I don’t think so.

Is green one of your favourite colours? I hate green. Are you afraid of the dark? Only when the dark is supposed to make things scarier, like if I’m in a haunted house or the woods lmao. Generally I’m not afraid. Have you ever flown a kite? Yes, many times. I still reached the time when kids used to play outside, so I definitely had some fun with kites. What’s your preferred flavour of jam? I hate fruits so the only jam I’ll consume is guava, and only because it’s part of my high school’s signature tart. What’s in your fridge? Frozen food, ice cream, vegetables, some condiments/spices, juices, chocolate, a cake. What kind of animal did you last pet? My doggie. Would you ever consider becoming a nurse? No. I remember there being a huge demand for Filipino nurses like 10 years ago, and it seemed as though everyone took up nursing in college. But I never considered it, not even during that time. Do you like elephants? I love elephants. But not in a exploit-them kind of way, LEAVE THEM ALONE How are you for money? I think I’ll be good this week. I get to save money because Gab and I won’t be seeing each other for our usual date night, and I only drive three days this week so I don’t have to spend a lot for gas as well. Of course, I’ll be flushing these down the toilet because my friends and I plan to drink out this Friday. Describe your best pair of shoes: My favorite is my pair of white/red/blue Onitsuka Tiger sneakers. They’re so comfy to wear and yet it matches everything. Do you think you are more intelligent than the average person? I have my moments but I obviously don’t go around vocally stating it, or unnecessarily use ridiculously big words around people. Do you ever think about why we are here? No. That’s Gabie’s question to mull over hahahah, I hate philosophy. What’s something that saddens you? Old people who are alone, when peoples shop instead of adopt, animals getting endangered. Do you like cherries? Hate. Name a celebrity that you admire that nobody would expect you to: Kendall Jenner, although t b h it is getting increasingly hard to be patient with her increasingly problematic ass. She used to be my favorite but now that title belongs to Kourtney. Who is the most desperate person you know? LOL. She recently pissed me off so I’ll put her on here: my girlfriend’s grandma. What’s the worst thing that’s ever happened to you during sex? Too disgusting to share with the world, so I’ll have to pass. Are you lonely? Not right now. What is your favourite musical? I hate musicals, but I have a soft spot for Miss Saigon because my mom practically made me listen to it from the womb. Would you agree that taking drugs isn’t as cool as it used to be? I never found it cool. Animal print: yes or no? Not anymore. Who is the most fashionable person you know? Kate, for sure. Sis always serves a new look. Can you use a yoyo? Duh. A Filipino made it so it’s pervaded Filipino kid culture for as long as I can remember. Everyone had yo-yos. Do you like to colour? I do. On my Christmas depression break last year I bought several coloring books and a massive case of coloring pencils, just so I can finally start on the hobby that I’ve put off for a long time. What’s an instrument you’ve always wanted to learn to play? Piano. Would you go on holiday to a snowy place? I would. Anywhere that’s different from tropical Philippines. Do you like Kate Bush? Never heard. Do you prefer to shave or wax? Shave. I’ve never had myself waxed. Are you one of those people who are constantly playing Angry Birds? Hahahahahaha 2011 called, they want their fad back. Have you ever broken anything of value? I don’t remember anything right now but I definitely wouldn’t be surprised to find out that I have. I practically break everything I touch. Would you ever have sex in a public place? Sure as long as we’re not exhibiting it on purpose. What’s a song that makes you want to check into a mental asylum? Lmao wtf? You mean a song that depresses/numbs me too much? Cos if that’s what you mean, then there’s a song on the New Moon soundtrack called Slow Life by Grizzly Bear that I routinely listen to when I’m completely out of it. What’s the worst chat up line anybody has ever used on you? I don’t chat with a lot of people so I’ve never gotten anything bad. Have you ever completely misjudged somebody? Sure. Do you know anybody who is pregnant at the minute? Nope. Who did you last speak to on the phone? My girlfriend, aka the only person I talk to on the phone. Do you give money to homeless people? Yes. If I have snacks laying around I give that as well. Don’t you think that tattoos are just tacky? Some can be. Do you like politics? I hate it, but I have to pay attention because I give a shit about my country. Is summer your favourite season? Not really. The rainy season is. Do you know what OFWGKTA stands for? Nope. Sounds like some sort of boujee rap shit. When was the last time you were inside a tent? Seventh grade. What’s your best memory? As of now, seeing Paramore, my Sagada trip, or rebuilding my friendship with Gab. I couldn’t pick. Do you think Jenna Marbles’ videos are funny? I like her old stuff; I generally don’t view her newer videos. Have you grown up yet, or do you still think you have some more to do? There’s a loooooooot lot lot of growing up to do. 20 is not a mature age at all. What is your opinion on Internet dating sites? Whatever works for you. < Do you like folk music? Some are hits, most of them I really just don’t care for. Are there any strange names that you like? Ines. It’s such a pretty name, but it also means ‘annoy’ in Filipino so it’s always sounded a little off to me :( I also saw the name Imogen once and I really liked it, but I don’t even know how to pronounce it + sounds too foreign for the PH so I doubt I’ll ever take the name.

Is there anybody you would like to completely banish from your life? MY MOM !!! Would you say you had pretty decent music taste? Uhhhh it’s fine, but I wouldn’t share it to anyone. Your favourite pasta dish: Truffle mac and cheese or carbonara. Do you know what the most commonly used letter in the English language is? E. Have you ever felt trapped in a situation? Sure. Strangest thing you’ve ever seen? A weird creepy-crawly thing that fell from the ceiling onto my laptop. Ever had a crush on somebody of the same sex? Yep, I am dating her at this moment. Has anybody ever called you a bastard? I dunno, I don’t think so. Would you like to meet the queen? I’d take the chance if offered. I’m paying to take you to see a musical - which one do you choose? Miss Saigon. Do you think that the media portrays women as being equal to men? There’s work being done but it’s still not satisfying. Lowest point of your life: Some suicidal stints when I was 12 and 18. What’s your favourite flavour of Vitamin Water? Never drank those. Do you post pictures of yourself online constantly? Never, unless Gab is in the picture as well. Who is the last person you ignored? Elis, my orgmate who pissed me off two weeks ago. Do you know any lesbians? Sure, my girlfriend is. Would you wear feathers in your hair? If it was part of an even more elegant/elaborate outfit then sure. When was the last time you were well and truly scared? Two Mondays ago. Do you know how to use a camera properly? For the most part, but I generally don’t mess with the more specific controls e.g. aperture and ISO since that part I’m clueless about. Favourite member of your favourite band: That’s unfair. I love all of them. Which country would you be from besides your own? That's not... what? < Same. Are you ashamed of your own body? Not really. I don’t care how it’s shaped. Who’s your favourite female rapper? I don’t have one. When was the last time you received a letter? December.

[queensofrap]

PAPER MAGAZINE : Beautiful People ~ Cardi B is Still Real

Known for her candid social media presence and outspoken, magnetic demeanor, Bronx-born rapper Cardi B rose to stratospheric heights this year on the wave of her summer anthem "Bodak Yellow." Despite her whirlwind success, Cardi has kept it real, speaking out about police brutality, honoring Colin Kaepernick at the VMAs and continuing to share her life and feelings unapologetically with her fans. From stripper to BET-nominated artist, this "regular, degular schmegular" girl from the Bronx reminds us that being beautiful also means staying true to yourself.

What makes you feel the most beautiful and when do you feel the most beautiful?

Somebody asked me before, when do I feel the most beautiful, and I told them, "I feel beautiful when men think that I look beautiful," and everybody was upset because they told me that I shouldn't let men make me feel like I'm beautiful. But do you guys want me to lie to you? When a man tells me that I look good and appealing, that's when I feel great. I don't miss dancing but I do miss the fact that when I was performing, I had the richest of the richest men, drug dealers, scammers, doctors, lawyers, oozing for me. They wanted to give me money because I looked good. That's how I know I'm freaking beautiful, because people are paying me because I'm beautiful.

Do you feel beautiful when you're performing now?

It's a different feeling. Me knowing that I could get anybody I want because of the way I look makes me feel beautiful. A lot of people on social media try to make me feel like I'm ugly, they're always talking about my nose. A lot of people say that I have an amazing body, but my face is not all that and it's like, how is that true? I could get anybody I want and if I was ugly I wouldn't be able to

Being famous people try to tear you down. A lot of people tell me that I'm ugly every single day on social media and it puts my self-esteem down sometimes because I am a woman and it hurts our feelings when people call us ugly, but then I remember that everybody I've ever wanted I got. Men used to give me money because of my looks; if I was ugly no one would spend a dollar on me in the strip club.

What about inner beauty?

I know that I have inner beauty; it's what attracts people. I know I have inner beauty. I know sometimes I can be a bit ugly.

What does success mean to you?

I don't even know what success means anymore because I feel like I'm not successful enough. Every single time that I set a goal and I accomplish the goal, I feel like it's not good enough. I'm only telling you the truth. At first I wanted to make a certain amount of money, then I made that amount of money, and that wasn't enough. Then I always wanted to be a respected artist; now I'm getting respected but I still want more. Maybe you're just never fully satisfied.

So maybe it's about reaching and grinding and trying to achieve something.

Yeah, reaching and grinding, reaching and grinding.

You've had a crazy year. Has there been one best moment, where you were like, "This is it?"

The best moment for me is everything that I've ever talked about, everything that I've ever wanted becoming a reality. It was very frustrating because I kept telling people, I kept telling my managers, I kept telling my friends, "I feel like I'm doing this music thing and I'm not getting to where I wanted to be. It's been a year, it's been eight months, and I already put out two mix tapes. What it is?" My managers always have a lot of hope; they're always positive. I feel like I was getting them so negative to the point that we were looking for other plans. So for me to know that I hit success is when I started having hope again and they started having hope again.

Now it's really happening and I'm really here. I'm getting everything I wanted, the money and the respect. At first I always wanted the money but then it was like nah, I want the respect from these artists and everybody. I want people to take me seriously as an artist and a musician. I'm tired of getting denied for features, I'm tired of it. And now it's happening. It's the best feeling ever when I meet an artist and they're like, "Hey Cardi B, I love you, when are we getting in the studio?" That's the best feeling. I'm happy they're not seeing me as a funny person or a sex symbol, they're seeing me as an artist, as one of them.

Do you feel like you've become less negative as your music career has taken off?

Nope. I'm always negative.

Why is that?

It's just the way I am, I guess. I feel like there's always a catch or something. "Things are too good, what's going on?" Maybe it's something that I need to stop doing, but I always like to prepare myself for the worse.

In this past year has there ever been a moment when you felt like giving up?

Yes.

What happened? How did you get through it?

The reason why I didn't give up is because first things first, I have a whole team so if I lose they lose. Then, my fans, Bardi Gang, they were just constantly harassing me for new music. It's just like I cannot give up because they really love my music, and I can't stop what I'm doing because I already started it. Everybody else who's not an artist, they don't understand how frustrating and annoying it is. The process and how low you feel. You make songs and stay hours in the studio, you're just not getting the results you want until you meet other artists.

The other artists tell you how long it took you to get where they want to be or how hard the process to be where you want is. And it kind of sounds similar to what you're experiencing. It's like, if these motherfuckers went through it and the same motherfuckers are number one maybe I need to be patient too. Patience and dedication so you can have celebration.

Was there someone in particular that gave you advice or inspired you?

Yeah, my man.

Do you think there will ever come a time where you're less open about your life, and share less with your fans on social media?

Actually, I'm not as open as people think I am. Little by little I'm becoming less open. It makes me sad, that I can't say what I really want to say or express myself how I used to.

Nowadays you can't even have a voice if you're an artist. You have to really watch what you say or you're a phobic, or you're a racist, or you're a colorist, or your opinion is too strong. You have to be scared that you'll lose fans, or people are attacking you, or you get canceled. I really hate it because I cannot be as real as I want to be because people are so sensitive and I guess that's the price you pay when you want to be a good artist. But there's going to be that one day where I explode again as an artist, and I'm going to give you 2013 Cardi B. Imma let motherfuckers know. I've been quiet a little bit, but I'm about to start getting back to my old ways. I'm just annoyed that I have to keep my mouth shut. I'm annoyed. Dead ass.

Now I know why these artists be doing drugs. I don't do drugs, but now I know. When I was younger I used to see these artists, these actors, commit suicide, overdose on drugs, being depressed and wanting to kill themselves. I would be like, "Why do you want to kill yourself? You're rich and you're famous, I'm broke and I don't even want to die like that." I know why now because you have to be a puppet and do things you don't want to do. I see people that say things out their mouth and then they have to apologize for it. Why do you have to apologize for what you feel? Why do you have to watch how you say things? Everybody wants to be free and everything, why can't I be free? I have to satisfy you, you and you? It just gets on my fucking nerves. It's like I'm a prisoner. I hate that shit. I came up talking on my beliefs and now it's like I can't even do that shit no more. But it's going to be that one motherfucking day, that I'ma say what I say.

I think people are hungry for that authenticity though.

They think they are hungry for that until you motherfucking say it and then they want to call you ignorant, problematic. All this bullshit, then they start labeling you something that you're not. It's ridiculous.

That is a lot of pressure.

You have to be in my shoes so that you can see how frustrating it is.

What advice would you give to young women trying to do what you're doing?

Do what works for you. Don't do what other people do and then think it's going to work for you, because it might not. What worked for me, it might not work for you. What worked for me was stripping. Stripping got me my first apartment, stripping got me my boobs done, stripping fed me for a very long time. But it might not do the same thing for you baby girl. Find a way for you and always save money. Don't get distracted by men. I spent a lot of time and money bailing men out. I almost went broke, getting lawyers for men. I quit college chasing a man. Don't stop because of a man.

[sambashua]

11 questions tag~

i was tagged by @achuu-nice @s-lay-ing and @maetaamong for the 11 questions game where you answer 11 q’s then write 11 new q’s! a good time! (y’all this is 33 questions bear w me)

nom’s q’s

how are you? :D I’M GREATTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTT i hope you are too:D

sad ballads or happy upbeat songs? okay so like.. both so much.. but if i rlly had to choose i’d go for ballads bc i’m rlly a soft binch at heart (but red flavor will never not get me lit)

fave anime movie? maybe ponyo? or howl’s moving castle? i also really liked the girl who lept through time! (all credited to wonhankwan movie squad)

dogs or cats? bOTH i refuse to choose (but i got dos gatos)

do you keep stuffed animals in your room? no:( i have some on a shelf at my dad’s house tho? and i have mr. troll in my apt living room!

someone you miss? @atshinee :(

describe your phone case? iT’S GOT MOOMIN EATIN SOME CARROTS OR EGGS IT’S UP FOR DEBATE

favorite lore/myths? i’ve always been a percy jackson ho but i always thought persephone and that story was cool?? also the labyrinth 

eardbuds or headphones? earbuds bc headphones are real expensive

can I steal your heart? i actually don’t have one to steal bc you already took it nom:’(

favorite thing about your ult bias? uMMMMMMM prObABLy his smile♡ (i say smth different everytime but i feel like i neglect his visuals oops)

cloud’s q’s

Do you know a ksong by heart? (bc I don’t :x I can hum a trillion tho) haaaaaaa well i mean i can’t speak korean ofc but i can p much believably sing all of seventeen’s title tracks.. and i generally sing along to every song ever even if i don’t know it??? oH I LEARNED ALL THE WORDS TO IF IT IS YOU BY JUNG SEUNG HWAN BC I LOVE IT exhibit a b and  c for why!

When it comes to friendships, are you low or high maintenance? (As in your friends gotta talk everyday with you or you’ll feel like the friendship is dying OR if you can spend days without talking to them yet you still remain close) i like to think i’m a pretty low maintenance person! i’m easy-going by nature and i don’t mind silence at all and don’t even find it awkward usually. i have friends i don’t talk to for months on end and then we get together maybe once a year and we still remain close:) i like to think i’m easy to talk to so that could be part of it?

Do you have a secret that you will take to the grave? (Ofc I’m not asking you to reveal it)  ajhfdksl tbh i don’t think so??? i’m kind of a private person.. but if someone asked me smth specific i wouldn’t not tell them ? idk tho i used to be a bit of a pathological liar so~~~

Recommend me 5 songs (not necessarily kpop songs) i’ll rec some non kpop since i’m sure you would know anything i recced ajkdhfjdk

honey - kehlani

to build a home - the cinematic orchestra (aka chanhee’s all time favorite song which makes me really emo)

broken clocks - sza

waves - young the giant

window seat - thomston, wafia

bonus! flirt right back - backbear :)

What do you prefer?: first, second or third gen kpop songs? third gen! since that’s when i joined i’m really into it at this point! also i think the variety of music is sooo much wider than it used to be? i’m not super in tune w all the older groups but i think it’s insaneeee how many groups there are rn snd they all have a lot to offer!

What’s the cheeeeeeeeeesiest thing you’ve done? (one time a former friend of mine was telling me about a problem she had and at the end of our convo I kissed her in the forehead bYE) um legit cloud i am cheesy 25/8 catch me being a soft snuggly bean popping trash puns left and right every day of the week

If you were asked to participate in a variety show, which one of the following would you pick and why? (Pick two!): problematic men, master key, hello counselor, weekly idol, one fine day, law of the jungle i think i’d go on weekly idol! i would wanna go toe to toe w doni and coni bc they’re always so harsh to lil baby idols ahhaha i wanna take them on!

Your top 10 kpop songs of 2017? binchhhh i’ll just go by my top nine according to spotify and my number one for apple music:)

When You Love Someone - Day6

Heartbreaker - NCT 127

My First and Last - NCT DREAM (also dunk shot tho byeeee)

Baby Don’t Like It - NCT 127 (tbh don’t remember listening to it this much what)

BABE - Hyuna

Like This - Pentagon

A Supplementary Story: You Never Walk Alone - BTS

Rollin’ - Brave Girls !!!!!!!!!!!!!

Eclipse - LOONA (Kim Lip)

Wake Me Up - B.A.P

bonus! Coloring Book - Oh My Girl :)

Would you rather live in a huge mansion or a compact studio house? definitely a studio house! for sooo many reasons: 1) i hate walking 2) cleaning a large house is the worst 3) if i had the option to spend that much i’d just get a smaller house and spend money on more important things!

Tell me a fun childhood story (I’ll start! One time an aunt gave me money to buy ‘papas’ (potatoes) at the grocery store so bc I’m obedient af I went and asked the counter lady how many of em could I buy with the money I had so she went ‘uhh, not many tbh’ so i ended up getting like two and when I returned to my aunt’s house she laughed her ass off and said: I meant ‘papas fritas’ (potato chips) Not those! - and uh yeah this is funnier in Spanish but it proves that I’m such an innocent angel I mean wow) gIRL I WISH I COULDA SEEN THAT SPANISH EXCHANGE I DEFINITELY LAUGHED um????????? yo idk i can’t think of anything help uhhhh okay so when my sister and i were little our house was two stories so we’d take our stuffed animals and tie plastic bags to them and make them skydive ahahha but it wasn’t too satisfying for obvious reasons so we just attached this one stretchy pink scarf to them and make them bungee jump from the railing ajfdhgfdls classic

If you were offered to start a band, would you accept? yEAH if someone offered i would assume i had the talent and ability so.. yes.. even if i didn’t and someone offered i’d still say yes bye

kiki’s q’s

Link your favourite playlist here if you can and if you can’t write out the first 10 songs on it! (Not a question but shh) here she isssss okay wait so she’s not my go to playlist tbh but she has a mix of western and kpop so.. enjoy!

Is your current ult bias your first ult bias? If not who was your first? yes :) my first ever bias was joon but i didn’t even know what an ult was for a long time and by the time i found out i knew all along wonu was my boy

Who is your ult bias? jeon wonwoo ofc

Who is more likely to hog the aux cord, you or your ult? um me.. i’m kinda a hoe w music like i always play it.. when i drive my friends i am in charge of music bc duh it’s my car but then when they drive me they usually ask if i wanna play music ahahhaha MAYEB THEY’RE JSUT SAYING I HAVE GOOD TASTE THO???? 

Who is more likely to forget an important date, you or your ult? def wonwoo.. that boy couldn’t remember his own birthday if he didn’t pay attention.. for some reason i have a steel trao mind for dates?

Who is more likely to ask the other to pick them up after work, you or your ult? i like driving so i’d say maybe wonwoo? but i feel like he might be the type to want to offer to drive you.. who am i kidding that boy is always tired

Who is more likely to write the other a hand written note expressing themselves rather than just saying it, you or your ult? i think wonwoo.. i get the vibe that we’re both a bit emotionally inept and we would both have trouble expressing ourselves but he might find comfort w writing things down he’s a romantic binch he reads too much not to be

Who is more likely to cry when a dog dies in a movie, you or your ult? me bc dat ho doesn’t like dogs smh.. his only fault (jk he a mess)

Who is more likely to almost burn the house down while cooking, you or your ult? wonu? just bc i’m not that clumsy? he could do it tho

Who is more likely to start a pillow fight, you or your ult? neither of us we’re too tired

Who is more likely to ask the other to come over to cuddle with them so that they can fall asleep better, you or your ult? meeeeee i’m a cuddly bitch and he isn’t rip.. but he would do it for me he better

my questions:D

If you could travel anywhere, but were completely by yourself, where would you go?

What inspires you?

How many pets would you have in your ideal future? Any specific names or types in mind?

What are you opinions on fedoras

how many spoons can you balance on your face at once (picture or video proof preferred (i’m trying to get someone to do it pls anyone))

What is your favorite type of tree?

If you could convince one person to like kpop who would you convert?

What are three things you are normally associated with and/or what are three things you want to be associated with?

If you were in a kpop group what position would you hold (ie. leader, main vocal, moodmaker, etc) feel free to tag your mutuals and who they would be!

If you could have any wild animal as a tame pet what would it be?? (i’m ocelot loyal all the way)

What is your opinion on mint chocolate chip ice cream? (for maj)

i’m going to tag @yongpal-i !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! (are you happy sister) @strawberryboo @everyonesabiaswrecker @kiheehyunie @indiepoptime @jungnoir @hwallsgrl @lipstick-chathao @yongceo @undinefin @kihqun @definitelythis @g-te @justsomekpopstuff (tagged you back:D) and @jeonwoooo if you guys want to try it out!!

[liuwdere]

the gay ass anime masterpost*

*not actually a masterpost, since i give about two and a half fucks about keeping this updated or properly categorized. real loose classifications to follow. shit i haven’t seen in italics; stuff i’d highly recommend in bold. now updated w/ streaming links (some are US-only tho, sorry)

no predatory lesbians or okama joke characters or else we’ll be here all day. k? k.

LGBT-THEMED: anime that directly addresses LGBT identity as one of its primary focuses

Revolutionary Girl Utena

the ez one

Yurikuma Arashi

Class S is bullshit, did u know that. Also, thirsty-ass bear girls and a real angry takedown of the patriarchy

Flip Flappers

I don’t know how you can read this show as anything but lesbian sexual awakening, especially given the Class S Yuri Hell episode

Wandering Son (Hourou Musuko)

pls pay attention to the T friends

Aoi Hana (Sweet Blue Flowers)

Showa Genroku Rakugo Shinju

Kikuhiko is def not cishet and i will fite u if u insist otherwise. Half the show’s choices make no sense without that lens

Yuri!!! on Ice

fite me

LGBT-THEMED; LIMITED REP: anime that addresses gender or sexuality as a secondary focus, though perhaps lacking explicit representation (e.g. LGBT narratives in the secondary cast). 

The Woman Called Fujiko Mine (from the director of Yuri!!! on Ice)

One of the supporting characters is a gay man struggling w/ masculinity

Gay schoolgirl episode all about female sexual repression

did i mention the titty is good

Princess Jellyfish

Prominent focus on gender presentation

Kuranosuke can be read as a closeted trans woman

Paradise Kiss

Heroine’s love interest is bisexual

Trans woman in the supporting cast; trans identity plays a major role in her story

Ouran High School Host Club

Discusses gender + gender presentation, though protagonist isn’t explicitly stated to be nonbinary

Protagonist’s parents implied to be genderqueer; father definitely bi

Plenty of gay subtext among the male cast

Scum’s Wish

Strong focus on female sexuality; main character is bisexual

Central cast also includes a lesbian

Simoun

Discusses gender as more of an abstraction? Takes place in a world where everyone is born female to later choose a permanent gender. It does less to directly address gender than you’d expect, though, which is why I’m sticking it here

From the New World (Shin Sekai Yori)

Future dystopia where societal norms practically mandate bisexuality. Honestly, I dunno where to put this; the story’s more concerned with sexuality in general than with LGBT identity

Devilman Crybaby

Classic characters reinterpreted through a queer lens; important theme of coming to terms with one’s own sexuality and identity. Ryo is the definition of disaster gay 

LGBT REP: anime w/ positive depictions of LGBT characters, though not necessarily concerned w/ addressing queerness directly. 

Samurai Flamenco

Four words: gay naked gunpoint proposal. the show makes about that much sense but it’s a lotta fun

i don’t care what the director said

bisexual girl in a poly relationship 

No. 6

boys kissing tho???

Miss Kobayashi’s Dragon Maid

pls ignore the manga and its magic dick nonsense

Haruchika

One of the two leads is a gay boy. He explicitly says so in the first episode. Avoid the live-action movie like the plague.

I should probably list Kase-san and Bloom Into You here

Mikagura School Suite

The heroine is REALLY THIRSTY for all the cute girls

Gankutsuou: The Count of Monte Cristo

Beyond the obvious homoerotic overtones of Albert/the Count, there’s Franz’s gay crush

Sympathetic trans girl character in the secondary cast

Michiko and Hatchin (from the director of Yuri!!! on Ice!!!)

Girls are good ok

Atsuko is gay

Macross Delta

two girls in the supporting cast do a hell of a lotta cuddling on screen

some versions of Sailor Moon

namely the ‘90s anime

Sailor Moon Crystal and the manga do address gender in… questionable ways

Tokyo Godfathers

Trans woman in the main cast

Tiger and Bunny

Reasonably respectful portrayal of a gay man once it gets going

Central relationship between two men could be read as romantic

Genshiken

Whispered Words (Sasameki Koto)

Psycho-Pass

One of the officers is a lesbian. She gets a focus episode

Monogatari series

Really just limited to Kanbaru, but she’s the most accurate depiction of the constantly horny dank meme problematic gay (e.g. me) i’ve ever seen, ironic propositioning of her straight dude friend and all. The rest of the franchise is obnoxious though, so ymmv

Kill la Kill?

i don’t know how else you interpret one girl kissing another on the mouth

Attack on Titan

If you’ve been living under a rock and somehow haven’t heard about it Ymir and Christa are all but explicitly stated to be in love with each other

Kino’s Journey

Kino asks people to use non-gendered pronouns, apparently? I haven’t seen this yet.

Knights of Sidonia

Non-binary character in the main cast

The manga goes some iffy places with their character tho, be warned

Really though, I mostly like this show for the sentient pink penis alien

Gatchaman Crowds

Several gender non-conforming characters

Trans girl in the main cast

Cardcaptor Sakura?

Fuuka

One of the dudes is canonically gay, not that it makes much of an improvement to the show

A Centaur’s Life

there’s a moment where a lesbian objects to her PDA being considered more obscene than the straight equivalent, which is nice but pretty off-the-cuff

Rose of Versailles

Oscar’s debatably genderqueer, though the show goes some real questionable places towards the end

Gay ladies?

Hunter x Hunter

Trans girl in the supporting cast. Her story’s extremely minor in the grand scheme of things but it’s there and it’s good

Love and Lies

potato-kun gets a harem that includes his male best friend

Land of the Lustrous

non-gendered rock people searching for meaning in life

Bodacious Space Pirates

via @madscientist212​: “two explicitly lesbian characters who are lovers, and one of the story arcs involves the crew helping one of them avoid being forced into an arranged marriage to a dude by her uncle”

Banana Fish

Extremely dated BL-flavored crime drama; unfortunately falls into the pitfalls of old-ass exploitation films: csa, sexual assault, etc. It’s such a problematic fav tho

Kiss Him, Not Me

Reverse harem includes a lesbian

Double Decker! Doug & Kirill

heavy gay subtext between leads and secondary cast members; well-intentioned trans representation that’s... kinda clumsy, tbh

Zombie Land Saga

one of the zombie girls is a trans girl who dies from the shock of puberty. it’s p incidental to her character but the show’s real cute otherwise so go for it

Anima Yell

apparently one of the girls admits to having a crush on a female teacher. or something. idk this show looks hella boring why bother

THE SUBTEXT IS STRONK: not textually gay (some you could argue could fall under category #2 and vice versa; not the point of this post) but can be read that way, even though these shows aren’t super concerned w/ romance in general

Puella Magi Madoka Magica

Neon Genesis Evangelion?

Depending on the version, Shinji’s sexuality can be read a variety of ways. Manga Shinji is pretty clearly bi; TV anime Shinji you could debate. 

Free, I guess

Love Live (Sunshine esp.) if I’m counting Free

Symphogear

Dear Brother (Oniisama e, otherwise known as BE STRONG)

Kids on the Slope (Sakamichi no Apollon)

Nominally they’re straight and pining for the same girl but BOY do Kaoru and Sentarou have a LOT of chemistry with each other, so much that it’s hard to read them otherwise

Marimite (Maria Watches Over Us)

Izetta: The Last Thing I Would Watch Even If I Had a Gun Pointed at My Head

Despite what you may have heard, this show is bad and 100% plays in bait territory. Also, obnoxious gun fetishism and way. too. much. goddamn. phallic imagery.

Tanaka-kun is Always Listless

Umamusume: Pretty Derby

Princess Principal

Spiritpact

I have complicated feelings about this goddamn trash fire of a show, but halfway through the second season it turns into a genuinely compelling gay pseudo-romance (?) about two boys navigating heteronormativity. also i guess the main couple exists, tho they spend a ridiculous amount of effort no-homoing

Amanchu

basically any sports anime ever tbh 

Golden Kamuy

MADE FOR THE STRAIGHTS BUT STILL OK: the yuri, BL, etc. that’s clearly targeted at a heterosexual audience but respectful enough to be enjoyable for the people they’re about

Doukyuusei

This Boy Caught a Merman

This Boy is a Professional Wizard

Strawberry Panic

Love Stage??? I have some qualms about putting this here but of the trashy BL anime that exist this is probably the least offensive

Maria-Holic

TEXTUALLY GAY BUT BLUGHHHH: the yuri and BL that just sux

Sakura Trick

Junjou Romantica (how the hell does this thing have three seasons)

Sekaiichi Hatsukoi

Gakuen Heaven

Dramatical Murder (POTATO DOGGO)

Super Lovers UGH

idk Gravitation and all that other crappy BL I don’t have the patience to list

GIMME THE TRASH NOW: problematic as all hell but i sure ain’t complainin b/c i’m gay ass trash

Netsuzou Trap (NTR)

Riddle Story of Devil

Love to Lie Angle

if you ever wanted a generic ass harem comedy except with a potato girl instead of a potato guy, here’s that compressed into 3 minutes

Citrus

Corpse Party wwww

Gakuen Handsome FITE ME

NOT TOUCHING THIS HORNET’S NEST WITH A TEN FOOT POLE: pls,,,, save me from the Disk Horse

Sound! Euphonium

One of these days I might organize this a lil better. Maybe if/when Tumblr figures out how to make editing not a pain in the ass