#writingwithsuki

[selfinsertsuki]

OTP Answers

From this post

Who is a fussy eater and who will eat food even if they’ve dropped it on the floor?

Fussy eater: Hanzo, cannot even eat something if it touched an sanitized counter-top.

Heathen: Me, who declares ‘5 SECOND RULE’ each and every time. Gotta build that immune system bruh

Who constantly tries to get the other to shower with them?

Me, though I frequently fail due the fact that I already take like half-hour showers I don’t need to be encouraged to take even longer ones.

Who was popular in high school and who lies that they were just to impress the other?

Neither of us were popular nor do we attempt to lie about anything, but we do share stories of being in choir and seeing theater kid shit (me) and having to endure all of Genji’s playboy shenanigans (Hanzo).

Who is incredible in bed and completely knocks the other off their feet the first time they have sex?

If there is anything I will ever claim in my life to be good at, I can attest to my apparent skills of mad dick-sucking game. Git fuckin’ gud Hanzo Shimada.

Who plays video games and who snuggles up next to them as they play?

Hanzo plays the games, and I definitely am too lazy to do anything other than lay on him and watch him play the games. Occasionally back-seat gaming though, because GOD DAMMIT HANZO RIGHT THERE, SHOOT RIGHT--THERE’S A FUCKING D.VA BEHIND YOU.

Who is horny ALL OF THE TIME?

My asexual ass is never technically horny-horny but I’ll be damned if I wouldn’t be the one always asking for some premium dick here.

Who is sleepy and cuddly ALL OF THE TIME?

ME

Who knocks on the other’s door crying at 4am?

Both of us. At the same time. We just watched Bambi and we’re both very emotional.

Who would have 10 pets if they could and who is adorably shy around animals?

Me, holding at least 10 hamsters, a rat on each shoulder, and a kitten hanging off my leg: Hey Hanzo-

Who takes like 10 minutes of persuading to get out of bed each morning?

Hanzo is awake like half an hour before his alarm goes off. By the time I roll out of bed he’s already showered, dressed, breakfast made, checkbook balanced, world peace achieved-

Who collects rocks and shells when they go to the beach and who thinks it’s dumb?

Neither of us thinks its dumb, and instead have a competition to get the coolest shells. Unfortunately for me when I show him one, I didn’t think to check that it was already in use by a local hermit crab and friend. The hermit crab is now our second son.

Who picks fights for no reason just so they can have kinky sex?

Neither of us do because we have a fair sense of open-communication for our sex life, and also because we both know we’re kinky fuckers and he’s not afraid to ask if he wants me to like, put on cat ears or something.

Who secretly admires the hell out of the other and thinks they’re the bravest person they’ve ever met?

We both do but constantly neglect to tell the other due to our aggressive social anxiety.

Who has an adorable sneeze and who sneezes so aggressively they pull a muscle? 

Hanzo: *delicate sneeze, very cute, soft, adorable* Me: *SATAN IS HERE AND HE’S TRYING TO EXIT THROUGH MY NOSE* Me: I’m dying, Hanzo

Who wants to have sex at work/school and who is terrified of getting caught?

Hanzo has something for exhibitionism and I, most assuredly, do not.

Who smells the hell out of the other’s shirts when they’re away but pretends that they don’t?

Both, but for *coughs* different....reasons....

Who believes in astrology and who doesn’t care and just wants the other to make out with them? 

Me: Hanzo just sit your ass down and let me read your goddamn tarot cards okay Hanzo: ... Me: Okay look at this spread, it’s saying that we need to fuck right now

Who would survive the apocalypse and who wouldn’t stand a chance?

Listen. LISTEN. I have an entire mental AU dedicated to this very question. 

Hanzo would survive like the beautiful motherfucker he is and I, a mere plebeian, would probably get stuck in a tree or something.

Who is majorly ticklish and who is the tickle-attacker?

Hanzo once made the mistake of thinking tickling me was a good idea, and subsequently AND accidentally got kicked in the face.

Who greatly exaggerates being sick every time they feel even a little poorly just so the other will take care of them?

Me: Hanzo, I’m dying Hanzo: You just have allergies Me: I’m dying, quick, come kiss me better