#wrote that metaphor into this fic and thought it really did convey the exact mood

[inphront]

i think much of griddlehark's earlier childhood antics can be summed up as "gideon pokes wasp nest with stick, heat-seeking missile comes out"

[stillebesat]

Contained DVD Commentary Part 1

Alright!! Let’s do this crazy thing!!! :D 

Warning: Spoilers for the Fic Contained. 

Guide: Italicized words are used to show pieces of the story. Normal words are my thoughts. In later parts Bold Deleted Scenes can be found. 

Contained.

I actually got the idea for this story in the End of December of last year (2017) after I’d seen @brighter-side ‘s Secret Santa Fanart for @virgils-jacket.

I managed to write the first two and a half chapters of the story before I got...well stuck and distracted with other fic ideas and so ended up putting the fic on the back burner for the most part until June when I actively started working on it to post it. ^^;; When working on a fic, I usually have a temporary title for the fic, a generic thing that helps me to quickly refind the story if I have to take a break from it. Funnily enough...Contained never had another name. It’s what I called it from the very beginning and when it came to come up with a title and post it...I decided to keep it as so. It was rather fitting after all.

Chapter 1. 

Surprisingly enough, this chapter has remained mostly unchanged from what I wrote back in Dec 2017. I may have tweaked a couple of words here and there and added a line or two, but overall I wrote this chapter nearly as a stream of consciousness using the feelings that the image had invoked within and trying to describe the scene I saw in the fanart. Creativity. Cramped. Trying to Escape. Crying. Wanting to Get out. I also was trying to convey that he’s been stuck in the box for a while. So like the imagery I used like “worn nearly to the bone” was meant to convey that concept and show that Creativity isn’t one to give up right away. He’s been fighting. He’s trying to find the way out. He’s wanting to prove to the Masters that he’ll be good and that he can follow their rules. (He really can’t. He’s Creativity. Rules are hard for him, especially when they constrain him from expressing himself.)   “Please. His legs twitched, having gone numb long ago from being stuck in the same cramped position for ages. A relief really, because if his legs were numb, then they weren’t screaming at him to stretch them, to move, to run, to play.” This particular paragraph is actually a semi-call back to a memory I have back in Jr. High...I think I was in like 8th grade? (14ish years old) in a Geography Class I took. I wasn’t even actively participating in the conversation at the moment (I was distracted doing something else, probably reading, I read a lot when I was younger) but when I tuned into the conversation the Teacher was telling another student what would happen if they ended up getting locked in one of the cupboards that lined the walls.

-These were short ones, with counter space on top to put things on- and she (the teacher) was telling the boy what would happen if he was curled up in the same position for hours on end and how his legs would go numb, and would twitch and cry out in agony to switch position and yah… O.o It’s one of the odder conversations I’ve tuned into halfway through. I don’t even know what prompted the topic to come up, nor do I remember what happened afterwards. But that thought of being trapped in tight spaces and how your legs react to them has stuck to me through the years. ^^;;

Creativity winced, feeling the lashes across his back from his last attempt to ‘play.’ It had been too energetic, too ‘happy.’ Too...too creative.

I think out of all the lines in this fic...this is the one I would change. I used the idea that the Masters had whipped Creativity mostly to show that they weren’t nice. That they were cruel and willing to hurt him to get him to behave. It was probably also a callback to you know...Pioneer Little House on the Prairie times where Teachers could beat their students with a belt or a ruler for when students didn’t behave right and needed to be ‘corrected.’

I don’t know if that line fits quite right with the narrative I ended up with in the rest of the story, but the imagery was used to convey that the Masters were trying to Contain Creativity even when he wasn’t in the box. They wanted him to be still, to be quiet, to walk and not run, etc. They wanted a properly behaved well mannered child who would follow them without question and The Masters would take harsher means to see their vision of proper behavior sustained. (It wasn’t good for Creativities. They’re a wild bunch)

He’d struggled for so long to escape the boxes his masters had put him into. He’d done so in an effort to please, to show that he could do more, be more than the boundaries surrounding him.

This section was the play on the concept of “think outside the box.” Creativity thought the boxes were just a challenge. That the Masters wanted him to find ways to get out. That it was a ‘physical representation’ of the saying above, and if he could be creative and think his way outside of each box the masters would be pleased with how creative he’d been and they would allow him more freedom to express himself because he ‘did it right’ this time.

It took him far too long to realize that the Masters were putting him in smaller and smaller boxes because they wanted him to be contained and think inside the rules and structures they’d outlined and to not try and go beyond what the Masters had outlined. (this is a physical concept of the ideal that if there’s too many rules, Creativity won’t be able to find any loopholes and he’ll have to stick within the guidelines given to him) Creativity did end up realizing it. The chapter actually focuses on this moment of realization (after way too long fighting to come out without getting out of the box) that the Masters wanted him to be the exact opposite of who he is. Still and Quiet and Complacent. He’s still struggling with the concept “wanting out” but realizing he can’t get out. So maybe maybe if he’s good and still and quiet the box will be made bigger so he can at least ‘stretch out’ his limbs (exercise his creativity) without being ‘outside’ the box (the rules).

“Light.” He whimpered, his burning fingers rubbing once more against the walls. Just a little light. A break from the endless dark. Anything. A small pinprick would be more than enough.

This sentence is a double meaning. Creativity is craving actual light of the sun as he’s been stuck in darkness for ages, and being able to see helps his creativity to flourish.

Kinda like the concept that looking outside or stepping outside can help brighten one’s mood and spark ideas to come when you’ve been struggling with a project for a while. But it’s also bringing in the concepts of a “Spark of Creativity” or the “Magic” of the world. After all there are little sparks -ideas- that people can give to each other, and Creativities can use those sparks and create/bring to life the ideas contained within each spark. A small prinprick would be enough. Creativities thrive off of new ideas, they love playing with them and exploring multiple routes and the Masters have left Creativity without a spark to play with for so long that he’s willing to take anything. The smallest of grains of sand just so that he can...well be himself and build off of an idea no matter how bad it is.

Left with nothing to inspire him. Only nightmares to haunt him whenever sleep found him.

This line has the feeling of ‘more meaning’ to it when I read it. Like I know I had something in mind when I mentioned these nightmares. But do I have any idea currently what I was thinking when I wrote the line? Not anymore. ^^;; lol. But I suppose it’s telling that if Creativities are left far too long without creative stimulation that their ability to think positively diminishes and that they are more prone to nightmares as Creativities are Light. Their creations tend to create awe and hope and happiness in others and in themselves so Creativities often have more vivid dynamic dreams that can’t be considered nightmares. The nightmares the bad thoughts and fears and doubts come when there’s not enough inspiration, not enough praise to them, etc. I suppose the nightmares are a type of metaphor of the lack of praise/recognition. It’s their doubts coming to the surface when they’re asleep etc.

The masters hadn’t come to see him in fiveever.

Sometimes it’s little tidbits like this that can help the reader gauge when I was actually writing the story. Fiveever was used here because The Sanders Sides 12 Days of Christmas video had come out like...four days before I began this fic and I loved Roman’s use of “It has been like Fiveever” in the video and so incorporated the term in the story. ^^;; lol. The use of fiveever also shows that despite his best intentions Creativity is still rebelling against the rules against the Masters. If he was truly wanting to follow their guidelines he would have used forever, though since that’s not a ‘measurable amount of time’ the Masters would have been happier if he’d used a term like “a long time” (Since Creativity has no idea how long he’s actually been in the box) to express how long he’s been stuck inside the box. But nope. Despite his best intentions, Creativity is still trying to improve on the foundations of others. Using Fiveever because it’s bigger than FOURever and Five has to be better than Four right? (It also shows he’s still quite young, as you’re more likely to hear children making up words like that than older people)

After all, the masters didn’t need him. Didn’t need Creativity anymore.

This line here is mostly a comment on the school system. About the same time I’d been working on this fic I believe there was a bit of discourse on Tumblr, or at least I’d seen some tumblr posts about how much the Arts were being taken out of school in favor of the Sciences. (and it’s been something I’ve been aware of for years now. Shortening recess, less funding for theatre performances in comparison to sports ((High School Musical Reference There)) getting rid of all the ‘fun’ things to convince students that they need to focus on the maths and sciences and be productive in society’ etc. It’s a thing where people don’t realize that you need creative expression in order to balance out oneself. To be able to think creatively in those Sciences. You need both Creativity and Logic in order to have a good project perform well and be well received. And yah. Just a comment that people don’t think you need Creativity in order to succeed. When really it helps a ton.

Part 2  Part 3  Part 4  Part 5

[like-a-bucky]

Fanfiction tag

I was tagged a while ago by my sister @niniel-kirkland to answer these few questions, let’s go!

Why/How did you get in fanfiction?

I found my first fanfictions by complete chance, wandering through forums and blogs, until I ended up on fanfiction.net. I kept reading and reading because it was absolutely wonderful to see my favourite characters keep evolving and existing beyond the limits of the original work.

Why did you get into writing?

I can’t exactly remember, it was a need, an itch I needed to scratch. I still do, I just have so many thoughts and ideas in my head that I need to let them out somehow. Also, so many fanfictions made me dream/cry/sob/laugh I just feel like it would be nice to offer the same emotions to a fellow fan.

How long have you been writing?

Around nine years, I think?

Do you think you’re a good writer?

I only base myself on my readers’ comments to say that apparently, I am. I think that a good writer is an author who manages to bring their readers on a journey, to convey the emotions of their characters and, for a little while, to make the readers’ and characters’ hearts beat together. From the comments and feedback I’ve received from my readers, I have apparently managed to do that, which is amazing.

Do you think you’ve improved?

Oh yes. Rereading my old (non-published, apparently I have some survival instinct) fanfictions makes me cringe, haha. Too cliché, too basic, not plotty enough... I also improve from story to story, especially when I start writing in a new fandom: I feel like my two or three first stories (mostly oneshots) are only first tries where I get around the characters’ personality and features, I need to explore them a little in simple stories before I can take them on a bigger journey.

Name one thing that helps you write.

Music is pretty helpful, I like to have the right atmosphere to what I’m writing.

Have you ever gotten hate related to fic?

No, thankfully. Authors write what they write for themselves and for the people who like the same tags/AU/kinks/whatever. If you hate a story, don’t hate the author. If you really can’t hold your tongue, try to explain calmly what you didn’t like, with better arguments than I don’t like it because it sucks. I’m all for pointing out real problems (really bad and impending grammar, disrespectful words/ways of describing characters and so on) but some people hate on writers just because they wrote A/B/O and they, as readers, didn’t like it. Dude. Don’t do that, just don’t read the fic.

Fanfictions or books?

Both. Some books suck, some fanfictions are amazing and vice-versa. It’s not because you hold a published book in your hands that it’s better than fanfiction (and it’s not because a fanfic has been published that it’s a good fanfiction.) Fanfictions tend to include a wider-range of characters/sexuality/gender than books do, which is important, and books are sometimes limited with that but write it better. So really, I read both, depending on the topic and the mood.

Do you want to professionally write? If not, what would you like to do/what do you do?

I would love to be a published writer but I have a hard time writing something original that I would deem good enough for publishing. I know some people publish their fanfictions by changing the characters’ names and so on but I would be totally unable to do that: if I write something about Steve and Bucky, then it is and shall remain Steve and Bucky. Not John and Thomas. I just can’t.

Have you ever been published professionally?

No.

What is the favourite story(ies) you have have written?

Warm kisses from your cold lips (Captain America, Stucky)

Take it off (Shadowhunters, Malec)

A man’s best friend (Fantastic Beasts, Gradence)

In Death’s palm (Captain America, Stucky)

Why is it/are they your favourite(s)?

Mostly, it’s because they mean a lot to me. The ideas for these stories struck me like lightning and I was completely frantic/obsessed with them. I just really, really needed to write them and I, for once, really liked the result.

What is the least favourite story(ies) you have ever written?

Maybe Carry my heart gently (Supernatural, Destiel).

Why is it/are they your least favourite(s)?

Maybe because I loved the idea so much and I feel like I can’t do it justice? It’s not finished though, so maybe I’ll get it right eventually?

What is something you expect from a fanfiction?

The pleasure of reading a nice story in which I’m thrown into, with the characters I love and their personality from the original works, even in AU, although I’m flexible when it comes to their personalities with AU (if you’re writing about abuse, you can’t expect the characters to react in the exact same way as in the original work where he/she’s not abused.) Slow plots/too much crack/too OOC stories tend to bore me.

How do you feel about troll fics?

No.

What is your favourite writing style?

I like something natural, something that flows. I’m all for metaphors, except those that make you feel like the writer had to burst a nut and break their brain to find them.

Do you write for the sake of popularity?

No, I write for myself and the fans. Most of them enjoy it (again, from the comments/kudos I receive) and that’s great, I’m not doing this to gain followers/be worshipped.

Do you think fanfiction is a good way to get into writing?

I think so, yes. It may be easier (which doesn’t mean lazzy, like I’ve seen some people say) to start with fanfiction and characters you already know and love. You can focus on creating your AU world, your plot, your depictions of the characters while having a focus point. Then you can start twisting the personalities/characters if you want to, you can literally do whatever you want (with a bit of constency along the story.) It’s also great to have the feedback from fellow fans who will honeslty tell you what they think of what you did with their favourite characters and in my experience, most of those readers will actually encourage you and help you along the way if you feel like maybe the story/plot/descriptions aren’t good enough. People tend to give constructive criticism when they do criticise or draw your attention to a plot hole/fact that you hadn’t noticed, too caught up in your story.

What is something you like about the fanfiction world?

The easy way to publish and have feedback. It’s so hard to actually get published IRL... While it is really easy to leave a comment on a fanfiction you read online. So comment! I see too many people reading and liking/subscribing/bookmarking but leaving comments is actually the best way to show your support to a story and/or an auhtor.

What is something you dislike in the fanfiction world?

The fandom wars and endless discussions about who tops/bottoms in a male/male relationship. Some people can’t see past that which is disrespectful (for starters.) Also, as I said before, people who will read something they know they don’t like and then feel like commenting with I hated this story. Seriously?!

What is a pairing you’re currently shipping?

Magnus/Alec (Shadowhunters)

What is something canon you will never ship?

I don’t actually have any ideas right now... Or maybe Pocahontas and her second boyfriend whose name I have forgotten? I actually pretend I never saw Pocahontas II, hush.

What is something fanon you will never ship?

I can’t think of anything at the moment...

In conclusion: any writing advice?

Good God no. Do what you want, do what you have to do to enjoy yourself and your writing. Don’t tell yourself I have to write like this other, super popular writer. Write however and whatever you want to write. But then again, don’t take my advice if you don’t want to. You’re free.