#y am I like constantly going thru crazy transformations lol

[cherrythot-s]

It’s Monday. Feeling pretty meh. I hate that I literally need to be constantly distracted like it’s so hard to j sit by myself in silence rn. I kept so busy this weekend but I’m so tired now. I wish I had gotten to j do nothing but I’m also glad I didn’t bc I think I would’ve just been sad.

— I had to stop bc I was working lol and wow time rly is like weird. I feel better abt my day already. There are a lot of major changes coming. And it’s really fkn scary. But also very exciting. I’m trying so hard to like j take things as they come bc I struggle so hard with like wanting to feel in control. I’m doing a challenge thing which I’m rly excited about bc I’m really gonna make the effort to stick to my routine/priorities. I’m so determined to do it right bc I know I’m gonna feel so fucking good when it’s over. It’s gonna take a lot of discipline and like sacrifice but it’s what I really need to do rn. I met these two girls that are doing it as well and I’m excited to have people that are going through it w me so that we can hold each other accountable and support one another. I also made a new friend this weekend and she’s rly cool. We’re gonna hang out again on Friday and I’m gonna meet one of her friends too so yeah idk GOOD THINGS r coming. We all rly wanna travel and do more activities together and I’m really excited about it bc I feel like it’s something I’ve been missing from my life. I think I was j feeling really sad bc I miss my dogs and some other crappy things happened that are making me feel so shitty about myself and like I’m so alone but I’m not. The work year is almost over and idk if I’m gonna be working w the district in the summer BUT I’m gonna have my RBT training done by then andddd I will be able to find a job w an aba company so everything’s gonna be ok. And now I have new people in my life. And I have the challenge to look forward to. I will be busy. I will be getting better n stronger n I’ll have better habits and I’m not gonna fall back on things that are not good. That’s what I’m worried abt. /: but I need to just trust that things will be okay bc I’m putting in the work and I deserve good things!!! Yeah!! Ok!! I’m tired bye lol.