#y’all I am so unbelievably excited!!!

[rockoblanco]

7 days sober wtf !!!!!!!!!!! :D

[eureka-its-zico]

Chaos in Their Bones: Wanted

Ongoing Series

Synopsis: After the defeat of Arlong, at Arlong Park, the five of you promised to yourselves, and each other, to achieve your dreams on your way to the Grand Line helping Luffy search for the One Piece. It seems simple enough, except for the minor detail that you died. Coming back from the brink of death, Zoro and the others have noticed you haven’t been the same. You aren’t sure if it’s Death himself chasing after you or something far more sinister. But facing your inner demons won’t be the only fight you’ll have to worry about when family comes calling. 

Pairing: Roronoa Zoro x Reader

Genre: established relationship, idiots to lovers, angst, mentions of smut, (will add stuff later) it’s an adventure, y’all!

Words: 6.3+

A/N: Hello my darlings! It is I! Your resident clown! I hope you are all doing well!! Finally, I have finished the prologue to my version of One Piece filler. I am so incredibly excited to share this with you guys while we wait for the next season of OPLA to arrive! I’m even more excited to share in this journey with all of you. This first chapter is pretty heavy and gives a brief backstory to what took place in season one with CITB, just in case anyone comes in reading this one first.. I’ll always do my best to make sure there are proper warnings in place for each chapter and, if I ever happen to miss one, please let me know. Now, let us properly get on with our new adventure.  As always, I hopeyou all enjoy this! Much much love, Jenn

p.s. shout out to @deadneverlander for always being my clown bestie and the bestest editor-in-chief

Warnings: mentions of previous torture, trauma, and gore

Chaos in Their Bones Master List

It was odd how the body adjusted to change before the mind realized what was happening. How Zoro could barely remember when he’d strictly stopped thinking of just singularly him and began to think about them. The one specific goal he’d carried with him his whole life - an armor that entombed him - suddenly no longer held the same weight as it had before.

Zoro was part of a crew now. It felt unbelievable when he thought about it, but he wasn’t a part of just any crew.

Zoro was a part of Luffy’s crew - his first mate. 

Kuina always told him he needed to lighten up. Get some friends. If only she could see him now. A band of misfits who’d become family. 

(Except for the waiter. Zoro still wasn’t sure about that guy.)

That one word, family, bounced around the inside of his skull, shattering every ounce of the solitary life he still tried to hold on to. After Kuina died he used their promise for a solid reason for his loneliness. It protected him - shielded him from having to go out and be a part of the world. While others thought he led a lonely life, Zoro believed it was simply a life free from distractions. A life centered around one goal,  a promise, and that didn’t allow room for error. 

And then everything changed the minute a boy in a straw hat stumbled on him tied up in a yard. Zoro recalled how instantly he’d found Luffy annoying; a pest. A nuisance in the form of gangly limbs and possibly too much leg, until Luffy asked him one simple question: “Is that all you are? Is that all you want?”

It surprised the hell out of him when he’d considered answering him. It surprised him even more when he did. Luffy didn’t laugh when Zoro told him, either. Instead, he listened and looked at Zoro like it was more than a possibility. Anything felt possible when you were with Luffy. The words spilled out of him with such conviction he was sure they could raise Kuina from the dead. He wasn’t sure why he’d even answered Luff. Once he did there was no denying his words had solidified a belief in Luffy that Zoro’s dream wasn’t just a possibility, but that Zoro would succeed in doing it. 

The only person who’d shared in his dream believed it would become a reality the harder they trained, had been Kuina. Sharing your hopes and dreams with another person was one of the deepest connections you could inadvertently make. Suddenly, just from sharing a few words, your entire being was stripped bare. Open for everyone to see down to the very marrow of your bones who you were and, because of this, Zoro didn’t share lightly. He couldn’t risk someone laughing at him or telling him he never stood a chance. 

The Demon Pirate Hunter would burn the heavens down if it meant he could get what he wanted.

So, Zoro waited for Luffy to laugh in his face. To try and curse his spirit along with his dream. Instead, Luffy believed just as vehemently as Zoro believed in himself. The possibilities were endless. One distraction - addition - to his life was something he could handle. 

Then Zoro stumbled upon you and having just one more distraction didn’t seem all that bad.

 Suddenly, being the world’s greatest swordsman wasn’t all he wanted. 

He wanted you too.

The universe seemingly conjured you into existence - a magical pain in his ass. The more he’d tried to deny his feelings, the more annoyingly louder they grew. If fate was real, it had a terrible sense of humor - reminding Zoro a little too often that even the best-laid plans carried detours.  

Neither of you was willing to admit that the universe seemed to be playing a cruel joke. The universal bingo card the two of you carried, chock-full of goals and aspirations, and not a single mention of…well, not a mention of either of you were on it. 

Zoro didn’t believe in fates. Magical beings who dictated your future and the outcomes of your life and the supposed powers they wielded in who entered and left. He could be incredibly stubborn. You called him hard-headed. He just liked to think of it as knowing what he wanted. The universe proved to beat him at his own stubborn game, however. He’d been a fool to try and reject what everyone saw, but Zoro and you…the two of you felt it. 

Falling in love with you had been as easy as breathing.

He tried to deny it for so long - his tunnel vision widening just to catch glimpses of you - bright and warm and alive to cast sunshine into the hollowest parts of him. The ones he’d left empty ever since Kuina died. He protected himself from having to feel that overwhelming feeling of grief again. No matter what anyone said, it never got better. It didn’t get easier. You just slowly learned to live with the empty space their loss created and, because of this, Zoro never allowed people to get too close. 

His drinking kept him languid and carefree.  

Zoro didn’t believe in magic. 

It wasn’t in his nature to believe in things he couldn’t see - couldn’t feel their weight in the palms of his hands to make or break his world. The very idea of magic alone was the biggest unseen force he could think of. But when you looked at him, cheeks rosy with a blush he gave you, he swore he’d become a believer. The world was brighter, anything was possible, and the stars in your reflected a constellation of every step you’d ever taken that led you to one another.

He didn’t think it was possible for his world to shift - to change - all over again until that night in your room. 

Zoro stood there paralyzed - transfixed. Cool, remain cool were the words that darted through his head but how could he? He’d spent all day endlessly teasing you. Every chance he got to bump against you, shamelessly removing his shirt just to feel the hunger of your gaze slid over his skin, or to dip his hands low, impossibly lower, was a chance he had to take. Just to make your cheeks flush that pretty pink hue that was just for him. 

He wasn’t an idiot. He didn’t miss the heat that shimmered underneath. How could he miss it when he’d felt it too? The pleasure in knowing he was the cause for every heavy breath that rose in your chest. Pupils blown wide and body preening at his touch. No matter the breath that stuttered out of you or the looks you gave, Zoro remained in control. 

Perfect. Control.

Until he’d opened his door to find you covered only in a towel, droplets cascading down your skin and those eyes - god your eyes - looking at him like that. 

Cool. Play it fucking cool. 

He’d repeated it to himself over and over. A mantra that wasn’t much of a mantra because he was failing miserably. Even after he admitted he’d been waiting to hear you make it safely back to your room. He would’ve left it at that - teasing you one more time to have that good ol’ blush of yours see him off to bed. But then his eyes caught the way your hands protectively tightened on the towel. 

The way you self-consciously hide the worst of the damage that Arlong - that fucking fishman - and his men had done. You tried so fucking hard to make everyone believe you were okay. The wounds on your body practically all but healed, while some were slowly beginning to show they’d remain as scars. He worried that you’d see yourself as less because of it. How could he get you to see that your scars were beautiful because those scars meant that you were still here. With him. 

But Zoro knew the scars that plagued you the heaviest were in your mind. 

You thought you were less because of them but, god you were so much more because of them. And suddenly, hiding inside the safety of his room didn’t matter anymore. 

Zoro had to show you - make you understand - how remarkable you were. Arlong and his men could never take away the way his breath still caught - trapped and frantic - in his throat every time he looked at you. You’d been doing it since that first night at Kaya’s: his eyes held prisoner as his gaze helplessly followed your every move.

Even when you were a brat and stole his glass of wine.

He didn’t think it was possible for the feelings that brewed behind the safety of his walls could get worse. To overwhelm and flood his senses until what little common sense he had left evaporated completely. 

He was wrong. 

That night, Zoro learned the only thing prettier than your blush was the sounds you made. Just for him. 

Always for him.

He knew everything changed that night in your room. And how could it not? The desire to touch you, show you with his mouth, his body, all of him, every piece of himself that you’d claimed, just how much you were a part of him. How deeply you’d woven yourself into the fabric of his being, hollowed out his bones, and made a home. 

There was an unmistakable connection Zoro felt towards you. It was something new that he’d never felt. He didn’t know what to call it. Love? How could one word seem to hold so much weight? The power to plant flowers in the garden of his rage or completely shatter it. There was no fucking in between and that was frightening. 

Fucking terrifying

Zoro couldn’t formulate words to describe the invisible teether that coiled around you both. Or the fear it created. A terror like a serpent that constricted tighter and tighter around his heart, more and more with every passing second. If Arlong could take you. If he could…you almost…

No no, don't fucking think it! Don’t speak it. 

The reality was it could happen again. 

The fear of someone taking you - hurting you -  became all too real. 

He’d almost lost you. 

Zoro would never admit to it. Say it out loud or allow it any space during his waking day. But when he was asleep the fear threatened to slip through his control. It formed itself into nightmares that painted out every outcome that could’ve happened in vivid detail. Painted in tragic detail into the whites of his eyes on how close he’d come to saying goodbye. 

Save me… pirate hunter…

He had saved you, hadn’t he? 

That day haunts his waking hours even now. It’s what wrestles him awake even with your head tucked underneath his chin, his arm draped across your back, and the steady beating of your heart pulsing against his chest. He’d arrived busting through Arlong’s gate with Luffy and crew, his breath caught in his throat not knowing what they’d find. 

What greeted him was the last thing Zoro thought he’d find. Your body, crucified, arms painfully splayed to make a perfect T shape. Gore. It was the only way his mind could describe it - screaming at him not to look. You were a decorated gory masterpiece. All the light and sunshine of who you were was dimmed in a blanket of blood. The stench of burned flesh clung to his nose the way the taste of chopper lodged itself in the back of his throat. 

You seemed so lifeless. So fucking lifeless. Zoro felt his knees threaten to give out on him in seconds. You couldn’t be alive. It shouldn’t have been possible, but he listened as the chains chimed at your movement. A fucked up wind chime of dread and hope that carried on the wind and told him all he needed to know. 

You were alive. 

Zoro could still save you. With that knowledge blacking out all reason, Zoro created hell inside the walls of Arlong Park. He would do it over and over, becoming a demon, a king of monsters,  to burn down the world if it meant saving you. 

And yet…it almost hadn’t been enough. 

There were times Zoro wondered if this is how you felt as you watched him give himself up to Mihawke. He could still remember the look of agony that bloomed across your face. The way it stole the spark Zoro loved to see in your eyes, bleeding them dry until all that was left was an emptiness that he gave you.  

Zoro had willingly gone to death. 

And you saved him. 

You cared for him even then - when he didn’t deserve it - after everything he’d done to try and prove to you, and himself, that the universe was wrong. It was just a sick joke to believe that fate itself had woven you both from such different clothes to somehow make each other whole. Zoro gnashed his teeth, swore, and fought his own demons to try and prove he didn’t need you - want you - but he’d been a goner the second he opened the guest room door. 

Plus, it didn’t hurt that you packed one hell of a punch. 

Zoro could still feel your knuckles connecting perfectly on his nose. The impact of it shocked him so hard it’s what caused him to lose his grip on the well. It was a damn good hit. 

He’d woken up to the emptiness of a bed Zoro shared with you. In the privacy of the cabin you both now called home, Zoro would admit dread tied his stomach in knots. That it spurred his legs to swing over the edge of the bed and his hands to furiously move around the room looking for clothes. All thoughts he used to have about pretending he wasn’t looking for you - searching for you - when he always had been, dissipated with his next breath. 

Even still… Zoro had almost died and came back more or less himself. Deep down, however, In the dark recesses of his mind, a nagging voice reminded him endlessly that something was… off. Something was wrong. 

Wrong with you.

Zoro hated that he even entertained the thought. In the privacy of his own head, it still felt like a betrayal. A dishonor of the trust you’d placed with him. He tried to knock the thoughts away because now wasn’t the fucking time. You were missing – again – in the middle of the night. He had to find you but no matter how hard he knocked away the nagging thoughts of growing questions, the voices persisted.  

Nami was the first to notice, which wasn’t surprising. She was always carefully crafting plans and backup plans with backups to the backup plans if those fell through. Zoro came to understand the second they stepped into a room, that Nami was twelve steps ahead of everyone else. Her eyes scanned the room for marks - the weakest links in the chain of command - so that was why it wasn’t surprising, not in the least, that Nami noticed the oddities about your recent behavior first. 

“She’s doing it again.” “Doing what again?” Every time Nami brought it up, Zoro couldn’t keep the irritation from shifting heavily in his tone. The annoyance at throwing around large sacks of grain that the waiter just had to have turned his mood even more sour. More than the fact Usopp somehow magically disappeared from having to help load all of this below deck.  Zoro followed Nami’s gaze until it landed on you. A hand wrapped around the rope of one of the sails with your eyes turned out towards the sea. Zoro imagined a passing ship would think you were a statue the way you barely moved. Shit, he even started to worry if you were even breathing. Unlucky for them, this wasn’t the first time you’d started doing this. Your eyes focused out on the ocean, almost as if you were searching either the water or somewhere farther.  “She’s just looking at the waves.” “No,” Nami replied, a shake in her head reflecting the word. Just the one word alone held a lifetime of worry as her eyes cautiously watched your head tilt. A motion that spoke volumes of words being carried on the wind and you were listening. “It’s like she’s hearing something, or someone, speaking.” “Yeah, it’s the sound of the birds above us. I think they’re called seagulls,” Zoro shot back.  Zoro didn’t know why he needed to protest their concerns so much. Zoro had his own but when it came to you a protectiveness he couldn’t fathom seized every last available brain cell. Their words sent his body immediately to defend you even though Nami’s concerns only voiced the ones he was too afraid to say himself.  His words earned him a glare from Nami as she moved next to him. A hand playfully smacked his shoulder, but her eyes never strayed from you.  “No, you asshole, not the birds. It’s like someone is… talking to her.”

Zoro had thought Nami was crazy. She had to be. You were fine. She was just being a protective mother hen again, which she’d promised you she wouldn’t do anymore. The look on his face must have said the same thing causing her eyes to narrow in on him all before her chin jutted out towards your direction. He wanted to call Nami crazy, but when Zoro glanced back at where you stood, your head was cocked further to the side. Your lips parted, eyes focused, like you were about to reply. 

A few days after that incident on the deck you began talking in your sleep. It started off as grumbles and grunts until it graduated to lazy words and, finally, short sentences that burst from between your lips in reply. Sometimes though, the voice that came out of you… it didn’t sound like your own. The words hissing and breaking from your lips in jagged whispers that raised the hairs on the back of his neck. 

The worst part was, if Zoro asked you, you’d never remember or know you’d done it. Zoro had promised to save you, and he had. So, why did he feel like he’d been too late?  

And that thought alone is what startled him awake. 

Zoro finally located a pair of pants that he’d thrown haphazardly in his earlier haste to get into bed. Your scent was still pressed into the sheets - pressed into his skin. It was enough to inform him you’d been there beside him. He hadn’t been dreaming - not that he would since you’d both agreed that him sleeping over in your room just made sense. 

He didn’t bother putting on his boots. The only thing he made sure to grab was the Wado Ichimonji that rested on his side of the bed. You’d strictly forbidden him from sleeping with it in the actual bed after you woke up with the hilt pressed against your ribs. 

The sheets had long since gone cold and that told him wherever you’d gone, it’d been a while since you’d left. Zoro wasn’t known for having tact or being quiet. If he was being honest, Nami often called him a brute and she wasn’t incredibly far off. He didn’t have any plans to quietly walk out of the bedroom or make his footsteps dainty soft like a whisper. He didn’t have time for pleasantries. 

He didn’t bother wasting time looking for you in the kitchen. There had only been a handful of times he’d caught you bravely traipsing around the waiter's kitchen. Banging his beloved pots and pans around like you had a death wish. Zoro wasn’t too keen on hearing him bitch later about the sanctity of a man’s kitchen and his utensils after Sanji had caught you. Zoro was, however, willing to admit the food you’d prepared that night tasted a thousand times sweeter knowing Sanji would be having a heart attack about it later. 

No. By now, Zoro knew there was one place and one place only that he would find you. 

With the swaying of the ship under his feet, Zoro made his way towards the stern. The Wado clutched tightly in his fist in a weak attempt to keep him grounded. He ran a hand through the mossy haphazard strands of his hair in hopes of soothing its messy state but knew he was only making it worse. His fingers tugging too violently like he could rip his thoughts out by the roots. 

There was nothing he should be worried about - you were fine. He was going to walk up those stairs and find you just enjoying the night breeze. It was what he needed to see because he didn’t know what to say if he didn’t find you standing there. How he could fix it if you weren’t admiring a view; waiting to share whatever was on your mind. 

One by one he released his hair from his fingers. The ache of his scalp was enough to help focus him back into the present. To ground him just enough for when his eyes finally landed on your frame. 

You weren’t standing at the edge of the stern, safely behind its railing like he imagined, or admiring the view of the midnight water. Instead, your legs were precariously over the side of the Merry. So painfully close to the edge that one wrong move, a simple shift in the wind or the way you were sitting, and you’d simply go over. 

An image of you going over, a sudden flash of your body disappearing into the darkness below, sent his steps widening, eager to reach you. To close the remaining distance between you, as if it would ever be enough to keep you there.

His bare feet thundered loudly across the remaining feet that were left between the two of you. The heavy thumping scraped away whatever chance he had at catching you off guard. The sound alone should’ve been enough to draw your attention but when he arrived at the edge of the banister, one hand holding on to the ashen wood while the other curled around your shirt - his shirt. After all this, you still hadn’t acknowledged him. 

Your eyes were locked on a horizon of midnight - obsidian, endless, with promises of nightmares etched out of brimstone lying underneath. Your head tilted, just like before, just like it always was, listening to something none of them could hear. 

Zoro wasn’t much of a praying man, but he found himself silently making one as he sucked in a breath. 

“It's a little late for a midnight stroll, don’t you think, Snowdrop?”

You weren’t surprised Zoro found you. 

You knew he would. Since the minute you woke up in bed curled up beside him, an arm tucked behind his head while the other draped itself loosely over your shoulders, pressing you closer, that once you left he’d be up. Maybe not right away, but it will happen. Gradually or all at once. 

Even in his sleep, Zoro searched for you. His fingers stroked the curve of an arm; swirling into the crease of an elbow. His nose buried itself in your hair or the sensitive spot just under your ear. Zoro searched for you as vigorously in his sleep as he did while he was awake. 

You expected him to come find you. It wasn’t a surprise when the sound of padding feet on cured wood imploded the silence you’d come in search of finding. His presence was unforgiving heat across your skin. Unspoken questions hanging between you. A part of you prayed he would ask them. Another part of you hoped he didn’t. 

Maybe that was the voice that made you wish he hadn’t found you. That Zoro had stayed blissfully asleep enjoying the blanket of restful sleep instead of the restlessness of whatever you now had to offer. The thought gnawed on your nerves, brewing an annoyance that soured the comfort you’d found looking into the vast darkness of the waves. 

During the day, everything was bright and inviting. The sea most of all. Its multitude of hands that rolled against ships and overlapped wave after wave to create a white froth was a silent beacon to come explore. It promised relief from the scorching heat of the sun and an endless supply of food to fill a starving sailor. Underneath all of that brightness, however, you could feel the darkness that took shape in the form of monsters underneath. Sea beasts that swallowed entire ships with crews. Sirens seducing men and women from their beds with a song - pulling them screaming, lungs heavy with water, down into the deep. 

It was this darkness that began to call to you. A disease that infiltrated your body slowly, without warning so as not to cause alarm, until it completely plagued every sleepless hour. You weren’t aware it’d been happening until the third night you’d woken to the spray of the ocean on your face. You found yourself standing on the rail of the ship. The threat of a harsh wave possibly sending you over was imminent. Yet there you stood, your arms splayed out at your sides, waiting for an embrace that hadn’t come. Yet, when you opened your eyes it wasn’t terror that turned to ice in your veins. You knew the ocean wouldn’t claim you.

It couldn’t. 

You didn’t belong to this graveyard. You belonged to something else. There was a power that resonated below the murky depths. A force that felt ancient and terrifying. It felt like it created the dark; and devoured it until it became whole again and again. It writhed and moaned like the damned, as it searched for more life, more souls, to devour and own. This blackness demanded worship like an old god and that same darkness was what called to you now.  

You weren’t sure what you were supposed to be: a sacrifice or a sacrificer. But one thing was clear. Whatever it was, it was inside of you and it was calling you home. 

Naan strived to make sure she was careful - that you were careful. She shared warnings in the forms of stories and fairytales as a child to soften the terrifying meaning that lay underneath. All this time she painstakingly put in to make you understand and, in the flash of a second, it took less time for you to choose Nazifa’s life over your own. 

It’s what Naan had taught you to do: protect others. How could she ever think, or believe, that you made the wrong choice? How could you regret saving someone’s life? Saving people was who you were, who Naan raised you to be, down to the very marrow of your bones. 

Naan’s trade was never forced on you. She never held you back from thoughts of going to school, leaving the island, or if you wanted to learn a different trade. It was always very clear it was your choice to spend hours in the garden and in the forest scrounging for ingredients. Your choice in agonizing over the creation of your book of remedies. It felt natural. Your whole purpose is wrapped up in easing the pain of the dying and the chill of the sick. 

But this darkness…it touched what was yours. It cascaded oil thick, blackening the seas of your memories. The shared dances in Naan’s kitchen as she taught you how to move across the floor, ‘like a young lady’. The spring in her gardens, surrounded by bergamot and cardamom. 

Every last memory of joy and hope and happiness was suffocated until the only thing left were nightmares. This darkness – this sickness – writhed under your skin. It changed who you believed you were, who Naan loved and cared for you to be, and stripped it all away. 

Brick by brick every belief you held was knocked loose and replaced by something grotesque; vile. It whispered ways to silently kill those you loved aboard the Merry. Townsfolk and villagers whenever you stopped for supplies. It slithered black chords of strength in your muscles, seizing your hands to tear apart and break dressers. The doorknob to Luffy’s room completely caved in as you struggled and fought to not take that final step inside. 

The voices were growing louder with each denial you gave them. Each life you refused to take - each villager you saved instead of maimed - turned them rabid. The whispers grow into shrieks:

Belladonna to strip a man of pride and the air from his lungs - closing up his throat with froth and screams. Mosswood burns the mouth and twists the gut making them turn liquid.

‘We can break them. Grind their bones into dust. Lay it like powder on our skin. Let us make them putrid! Skin soft and pliable like pudding - flesh that caves at the touch. One touch from us, from you, OUR TOUCH,  and we can rot them from the inside out. Listen as their tongue turns liquid and they gurgle liquid sweet! Let us rot them! LET. US. ROT. THEM!’

It whispered and screamed until you thought you would go mad. It took every ounce of willpower you struggled to hold on to your sanity. Not to claw at your ears. As if it would ever be enough to make the whispers just stop. 

Something inside you came back wrong. You were wrong. You thought about the possibility that you might be imagining it. This call of chaos - of sinister dread - swirled inside of you like a whirlpool threatening to suck everything down around you. The more you tried to ignore it, the louder it grew. The voices were no longer murmuring - their words were convoluted - gargled as if held underwater. 

Now they were screaming, demanding to be heard, and they were always the loudest when you were sleeping.

You were so lost, so completely lost, consumed with your thoughts, these fucking voices, that you weren’t sure when your body turned to face him. Maybe Zoro had asked you a question or been asking questions. The usual mask of careless indifference he wore was there, but it was easy to spot the worry that etched itself into the fine lines around his eyes. 

His brow creased, drawn tight, which reflected the dark panic that was pooling to the surface in his eyes. If you didn’t answer him soon he was going to shake an answer out of you. Just to hear something. 

What could you say? 

“Do you hear them too? They’re whispering for me to do things and the more I ignore them, the more their fingers seem to dig holes in my mind.”

No. 

You couldn’t ask him that. It sounded crazy. You would sound crazy, and maybe you were. This whole thing felt like a waking nightmare. You thought you could keep it at bay as you attempted to work through it. There had to be a scientific explanation for something like this or at least a psychological one.

Death came to claim you. You’d felt the clutch of cold hands eager to drag you away, drag you down into the earth kicking and screaming. It felt greedy. Excited. 

But you came back. 

Maybe this madness was a form of penance. Maybe this truly was what it was: madness. 

You couldn’t look at him anymore as you tried to swallow the bitter truth down. Underneath, however, you knew you lived in a fantastical world where boys were made of rubber, Devil Fruits existed, and so did magic. 

But what did that make you? You with your voices of chaos. 

Death bringer, They whispered, clamoring against your skull. 

What if the part of you…the dark part Naan always feared would consume you, festered like a cordycep eating its way through your soul until there was nothing left? What if it ate and ate until you were just…gone? The only thing left was an imposter who’d taken your place.

The thought was enough to make your mouth desert dry. Your heart clamoring against the ribs in your chest demanding for you to take it back! You weren’t being eaten starting from the soul and outwards. You were in control. Perfect control. 

“I’m okay.” The words croaked around an unused throat forcing you to clear it and try again. “I’m okay.”

“Who are you trying to make believe that? You? Or me?”

When Zoro looked at you, like he did now, all the world grew quiet. The sound of the ocean, her waves, and the lapping at the hull of the ship all died away. It was harder to catch a breath, the air denser somehow, as everything came grinding to a halt. 

The only thing that mattered in this moment, in every moment, now and always, was the way he looked at you. But the moment didn’t last - it couldn’t - when the current underneath your feet began to pound against the hull of the ship. A seismic rhythm that vibrated through your body in earth-shattering ferocity. 

You looked out across the water around you and found her unchanged. Her waves thrashed at their own speed to collide against the Merry before they rested back down into the murky midnight of the water. 

“Zoro, do you feel that?”

The need for confirmation that it wasn't just you who felt this primal call was palpable. You grasped at whatever reasoning made sense but there was none. A sharp sting on your fingertips brought a hiss of pain from your lips. Your eyes darted down to find that same inky blackness that had burned the flesh of the face of the fishman like acid was crawling up your arms. You tried to swat it away as a fresh flood of panic gripped you. 

“Zoro!”

Your eyes flew up to look for him beside you. You wanted to reach for him - you needed him to hold onto you - but if you touched him would you hurt him? Would you kill him? 

Fear and panic constricted your throat turning your next sentence into a delirious garble of words. All attempts at civility and calmness ended when your vision centered on his body next to yours. Zoro was covered in the thick black ink - your darkness. You heard the sizzling of muscle and tissue melting away. The wet sound of flesh hitting the deck. You watched as a piece of his cheek, the top of his eyelid, slid down his face as his hand reached out for you. 

“It’s going to be okay, Snowdrop.”

The horror of what you were seeing grabbed a hold of your throat and worked the earlier sounds free. It knocked them back down to be digested to allow them to come back up at something brand new. 

A scream housed from despair and grief tore through your body and released itself there on that deck. A panicked heart filled with regret left you shattering into a million pieces and it wasn’t until you were sitting up in bed, thrashing around in the sheets of your shared bed, that you realized it was all just a dream. 

Your eyes bolted open but the frantic terror that left your heart thundering in your chest was still there. It made you search the room like crazy, grasping for things that were real. 

Zoro was standing by your desk. His hands fastened the last button of his shirt while a cool set of eyes watched over you. It was then you felt how your body was coated in sweat; your hair clinging to your neck and cheeks. The shirt you’d worn to bed sticking in thick hot clumps against your skin. 

“What happened,” you rasped. 

Zoro finished with his shirt but didn’t make a move to answer. The Wado was secured at his hip and you watched him drop a now free hand onto the hilt. A comfort you could only assume he needed as he showed no immediate sign of replying. 

After a long pause, Zoro let out a sigh as he moved towards the bedroom door. 

“I found you sleepwalking on deck. Again,” he replied. His voice was all smoke and velvet. It should’ve brought you comfort hearing him, but it wasn’t hard to notice the cracks that formed around his words. “This is the eleventh time you’ve woken up screaming, Doc.”

“Zoro–“

“After we get supplies at our next stop I’m asking Luffy if we can turn around.”

He spoke to the door. The decision he was making seemingly cost him his own grief as your own. You threw the sheets back. Your legs scrambled to make it over the side of the bed before he could completely exit the room. 

“Turn around for what?”

You wanted to sound tough, demanding even. Instead, you just sounded small. Scared. Your mouth dried up around every word, every sentence, you tried to formulate. The sick idea that he was trying to say goodbye, to let you go, making it damn near impossible to even breathe around a thought. 

“To find someone willing to give me some answers.”

Zoro didn’t wait for you to reply with the usual weak promise of telling him. It was only when you were ready to share and that could be never. He was tired of waiting and didn’t bother to wait to hear an even weaker response before Zoro walked out the door and quietly shut it behind him. 

As always, thank you all so much for reading! Reblogs, comments, and likes are always appreciated.

Taglist: @honeyoru @oneandonlyizabelle @shanshan4143 @naomihatake @tombraiderjones2505 @illusory-segurity @hippieele @nadlx33333 @fancifulrealist @litlebruh @jonnelpunk

[countrymusiclover]

6 - Will He Ever Realize??

Part 7

It’s About Time

Tags just ask - @lover-of-books-and-tea @bvbwestfall l @bubble-blu @liesanddreams @bethanymccauley @skeletonontheroad

Author note - would you all want me to skip onto season two or three to make Georgie and Y/n older or just keep going through certain season one episodes???

Walking up the metal bleachers my shoes banged on the ground until I saw my friends waiting near the first row of seats for one of the football games. Hannah grabs my arm tugging me against her. “Hey Ashley got you something.”

“My birthday has already passed, why are you getting me another present?” I asked her looking from her to Ashley.

She unfolds something out of the backup she had for her volleyball practice. “Thought it was about time you had one of these after all this time.” She held up a red tea shirt with the number 23 on the front in the color white.

“You guys are unbelievable. This isn’t going to make him suddenly realize he has feelings for me.”

Hannah sticks her tongue out. “That was what I thought too until Ryker saw me in my volleyball uniform. So it does work.”

“Yeah right.” I rolled my eyes, shrugging the shirt on over my head regardless. The wissel went off where I started walking down the stairs to get a closer look I leaned over the railing.

George sr opened the play book pausing as he looked at where the two teams were on the field. “Hang on.”

“What?” The assistant coach asked.

Georgie’s dad looked at the play book. “Let's go for it.”

“Why? We got plenty of time.” The assistant was still confused.

George said back. “I know. Still want to go for it.”

“We're on the 12-yard line. Everybody know you punt.”

I smiled remembering what Sheldon had said when we were watching a different football game at his house. “Why does everybody knowing something make it right?”

“He's at the 30, the 20, the 10. Touchdown, Wolves!” The pa announcer came over the speakers before everyone in the crowd cheered loudly.

I bolted toward the staircase running out to the football field and jumping over the green fence. The team was all rallied around the guy that had gotten the touchdown. “Georgie!”

“Y/n…oh!” Georgie barely had time to fully turn around before I halted in my tracks and tackled him onto the turf. He fell down and held me by my hips with our faces inches from each other.

“Ooohhh!” Ashley and Hannah’s voices could be heard behind me where we turned our heads seeing them standing off to the side.

Georgie chuckled up at me. “What are they teasing about?”

“Uh nothing. They’re just excited like me that y’all won.” I scramble to my feet helping him up. Georgie stands in front of me noticing the number on my shirt before we had to separate so he could get pictures with his team.

After the game was over the Cooper parents had gone out on a date night leaving the kids and me alone together in the house. Sheldon was out in the garage playing with his trains. That left me, Missy and Georgie in the kitchen and he brought in a Wigi board he had hidden in the garage from their mother. Georgie and I had our hands in the middle eyeing Missy who yanked her hands away. “Pastor Jeff talked about these in Sunday school. He called them Satan’s monopoly board.”

“Come on.” Georgie nudge his head with a smirk on his face.

The phone went off and she got up answering it. “It’s pastor Jeff what do I do?”

“See what he wants.” Georgie answered.

She asked. “What do you want?”

“Um, is your mom home?”

“No, she went out with my dad. It’s just me, Georgie and Y/n. Sheldon is in the garage.” She replied to his question.

“Well I hope y’all will behave yourselves.”

“We are. We’re just watching tv. Okay bye.” She hung up the phone spinning around on her feet beginning to panic. “I just lied to a pastor.”

Georgie tilted his head. “So?”

“So I’m going to hell.”

I shake my head at her. “No you’re not.”

“Yes I am.”

Georgie shrugged his shoulders. “Sucks for you.”

“I’m going to hell. I’m going to hell!” Missy stomped around back and forth in front of us.

Georgie crossed his arms over his chest. “Relax. Not till you’re dead.”

“Missy if it’s bothering you that bad just call him back and tell the truth.”

She nodded in agreement grabbing the phone on the wall. “I lied to you. I wasn’t watching tv. I was playing with a Wigi board.”

“Who is this?”

She said terrified. “Missy Cooper and I’m going to hell.”

“Missy you’re not gonna go to hell.”

“Yes I do. God knows what I did. He sees everything.”

The pastor paused on his end of the phone. “But he also just saw you be a good Christian and tell the truth. So I promise your soul is safe.”

“If you’re lying you’re going to hell too.” Missy quipped back at him to be super sure.

The pastor hung up the phone. “I’m sure. You take care now.”

She sighed leaving the room and headed towards the garage. “I'm going to play with Celeste, my cabbage patch doll.”

“So you wanna get pizza or something?” I shrugged my shoulders eyeing the game board in front of us.

Georgie nodded his head towards the phone, getting up from his seat and grabbing the phone from the wall. “Once I get more money later the first place I’m going to eat is Chi-chi’s.”

“Tacos and margaritas. That’ll be a pretty nice place to take a girl on a date.” I turned around in my chair looking at him.

He punched in the number waiting for it to ring. “Yeah. We’ll have to go someday.”

“Really?” I gasped, hanging my mouth open thinking that maybe Hannah and Ashley were onto something.

Georgie pulled the phone away from his ear showing me the cut on his wrist. “For sure, Y/n. This means friends for life.”

“Oh…right.” The blush on my face disappeared and I lowered my gaze down to the cut on my wrist, tracing it with my thumb until someone came running through the kitchen from the garage for me to see it was Sheldon.

“Missy coughed on one of my trains!”

Comments really appreciated ❤️

[jeonstellate]

timestamp: stark

it’s 11:33 am when you make chan an offer he can’t refuse.

๑彡 bang chan x gender neutral!reader

๑彡 slice of life!au, stranger!au — little fluff(?)

๑彡 paragraph format — 0.9K words

masterlist

[gif’s full credit belongs solely to its owner]

๑彡 oh? what’s this? a kpop-related post after two months? unbelievable. (in all seriousness, i’ll try to get back to this side as soon as i get my muse back here o7 for now, please enjoy!)

๑彡 if there are any stay-mcu/iron man enthusiasts out there, this one’s for y’all *insert dancing emoji*

You were having the time of your life.

It was not your first time visiting Disney California Adventure nor Disneyland, but the excitement you felt was still as intense as the first time. Perhaps it was because there were huge gaps between your visits. Or because there was really just something in the Disney air that never failed to make you giddy.

Whatever the case was, you always looked forward to your Disney trips. And this was no different.

Since your visits were far apart, there was always something new in the parks whenever you visit again. Regardless of your attachment to the media that inspired the new attractions, you were always excited to explore the new additions.

For this visit in particular, you were extra hyped. Not only was there a new land of attractions, the area in question was also inspired by a media that you were very familiar with.

Avengers Campus.

You wouldn’t call yourself a Marvel fan — nor a Marvel Cinematic Universe fanatic. If anything, you were just someone who watched enough of their releases to develop attachments to their characters.

Most people head straight to Radiator Springs Racers once the rope dropped. But you? You were dead-set on spending your early hours exploring Avengers Campus. So you did.

Two rides in, your feet brought you back in front of the Avengers Headquarters.

And there, right in front of the Avengers’ logo on the wall, was Iron Man — taking photos with visitors.

Frankly, you had no plans on paying Disney photographers to take your photos. For one, you didn’t research how much their services were. Second, you figured you would succumb to capitalism in other ways (read: churros and Dole whip), so it’d be best if you’d only spend your money there.

Yet, still, you found yourself lining up to take photos with Iron Man.

The line wasn’t terribly long, but you knew it’d be a thirty-minute wait at least. After all, it wasn’t just a photo-op — it was also a quick meet-and-greet. Thankfully, you were in no rush, so you didn’t mind the wait.

You let your mind wander to pass time. You observed different people interact with Iron Man as their turn came and passed. You scrolled through your phone, switching applications mindlessly.

Amidst your thoughts about which continuity Disneyland’s Iron Man existed in, you caught the cast member beside you talking to another guest. "—Mr. Stark has a meeting to attend to soon, but he’d be back after."

It didn’t take you that long to piece what that in-character response must’ve meant, especially if the other guest walked away upon hearing them.

"Excuse me," you turned the cast member’s attention toward you, "can you hold my place for a second?" As an afterthought, you quickly added: "I’ll be back. I promise."

You jogged after the other guest before you could change your mind.

Really, there was absolutely no need for you to do this. As you heard the cast member say, there would be other opportunities to meet Iron Man throughout the day.

Yet, somehow, you felt strongly compelled to. Like you were supposed to.

"Excuse me," you called your fellow guest’s attention. You flashed him a small smile, "Hi."

"Hello," he greeted back after halting to hear you out. He reciprocated your gesture with one that almost blinded you, "Can I help you?"

"Are you still interested in taking a picture with Iron Man?"

"I am," he affirmed.

"Do you wanna take it with me?" You blurted out your objective for coming to him, before he could say anything else. "I mean," you backtracked as soon as you processed how strange you must’ve sounded, "I saw some people take group photos and then solo ones; so you’re up for it, we can split the cost or something."

Frankly, you didn’t exactly thought this whole thing through. You were operating on impulse. You were going with the flow — even if you weren’t exactly sure where it was leading you to.

"That’s actually not a bad idea." You didn’t even know where that proposition came from. It just spilled out your mouth without going through your brain first. Nevertheless, it seemed to have done its job. "I’d actually take you up on that, if you don’t mind."

You smiled wider, "Great!" You turned back and started leading him to where you came. "I’m [first name], by the way."

"Nice to meet you, [first name]. I’m Chan."

You and Chan waited out the rest of the line chatting. You conversed about the most trivial things — from the other attractions you were planning on visiting to your theories on how Disneyland’s Iron Man’s voice actually sounded similar to Robert Downey, Jr.’s. You even talked about how you spent the earlier part of the morning. And what you thought of what Marvel did to their cinematic characters.

By the end, when everything had been said and done, you and Chan parted ways with a way to keep in touch and a picture of each other saved in your respective camera rolls.

Albeit you were initially reluctant to succumb to another bait of capitalism, you didn’t mind the price you paid for the set of photos that included a cute candid of you and Chan with Iron Man.

(Years later, when your fates have entwined more permanently, you saw that same picture framed in Chan’s apartment. “It’s my favorite,” he told you after claiming your waist in a back hug.)

[iconsumethesoulsofthedamned]

Y’all need to stop whitewashing Miguel O’Hara but y’all also need to stop turning him into Spanish settings buzz lightyear ok.

I, a half Hispanic teen sat in the theater with my best friend and got so excited when they said that he loves empanada’s and when he and miles talked in Spanish for a second. I previous to Miguel O’Hara have never seen a mixed Irish white and Hispanic character. Just period.

I was so so unbelievably excited to have a character who was like me. This is why representation is so damn important I have never had that until now.He has an extremely similar face shape to me and I got so excited when I realized it I made a side by side of us to show it and sent it to all my friends I was over the moon. I have been self conscious ab my lips since I was little bc I feel like they are ‘too big’ and ‘too feminine’ but his lips look like mine and for the first time in forever I don’t feel self conscious ab them at all. I’m gonna be him for Halloween. And there are some people (98% of y/n writers) who are fucking him up.

A very cool and very correct poc made a post ab how they, as a black person experience racism in this fandom whenever they want to find Hobie content and all there is is people constantly over sexualizing him bc he’s black and tall (their post here) and they are right and it sucks. And people are doing the same damn thing to Miguel and it needs to fucking stop. If you don’t know how to write Spanish dialogue but you want to use it FUCKING ASK SOMEONE WHO CAN SPEAK IT FOR HELP. Stop turning him into this creepy severely over sexualized predatory super romantic guy who speaks in nothing but cookie cutter smut dialogue and google translate Spanish. He is a depressed dad with a dead daughter and a shit ton of pressure and it’s ok to have fantasies but not when the fantasies are clearly racist fetishization.

(also this is not ab people saying he’s sexy he is he has a fat ass no one is denying you that what I am denying you is making him a racist stereotype fetish)

last but not least if you are gonna draw a character with dark skin then draw them with dark skin it isn’t that hard and if you’re like ‘Nono I can only draw skinny white people’ then you can’t draw Miguel O’Hara fuck off.

@Violettfae

[scyllas-revenge]

Well I know what I’m thankful for this year

What????

WHAT????

I’m so incredibly honored that something I’ve written has gotten so much love. I can’t tell y’all how thankful I am for my readers’ thoughtful comments, kudos, messages, asks, fanart, and everything else y’all have done to show support for this fic. I know how rare this kind of response to a fic is, and it still feels really unbelievable.

But as amazing as it’s been, I’m even more thankful for all the incredible people I’ve met through this fandom, on tumblr, discord, AO3, FFN, and beyond. I’ve made real lasting friendships, exchanged letters and gifts, and been inspired to write some stories I’m really proud of. Y’all have helped me be a more talented writer, a more supportive fandom member, and a better person all around. I’m so grateful to you all and I wish I could smash through my phone screen to give y’all a big awkward hug.

I’m really excited to make more progress on this fic at long last (happy one year anniversary of the last time I updated it!) and really want to use my time on tumblr to draw attention to the incredible and criminally underrated fics my mutuals have written! But for now I will be drowning my Fandom Feelings in turkey and apple pie and apple pie moonshine (my family goes hard for Thanksgiving 😂)

[radicallymaxton]

Hello y’all! I have made a new Patreon! WOOOOOOO!! YAAAYYY! I will be focusing primarily on comics, personal projects (animatics, zines, etc.) and where I will be sharing my sketchbook pages, brushes, and behind the scenes looks at what I’m currently working on. I hope to be able to work full time on my comic (more info and first 6 pages in the link in bio) without having to bend into a pretzel and overwork myself which is kinda what I’ve been doing for….uh….always 💀(which isn’t healthy). If you are interested, wish to support my work then thank you so much for your support and consideration 🙏🏼. I am unbelievably excited and I can’t wait to share more of what I’ve been cookin 👨‍🍳

Thanks so much y’all 🙏🏼🙏🏼🙏🏼

[malthemagnifisent]

Plot: Cyrus goes to Aerin’s cell, and somehow Aerin still has a sway over him.

Tag list: y’all asked to be tagged, so hope you enjoy. If anyone wants to be tagged in future fics please do ask. @ladylamrian @zhoras-bitch @alegria1580

Notes: Yeah, I just wanted to write the Aerin reunion scene with a bit more drama too it. I also changed the fact that Aerin didn’t know MC was gone, cause I don’t think it made any sense?!

Cyrus hadn’t known what to think when he made his way down through the halls of the white tower to find Aerin in the dungeon. Logically, he knew he should hate the man and not be buzzing with excitement to speak with him, but he couldn’t deny feeling almost giddy. Perhaps he could pass it off as fear, but he would still know the truth deep down: that he truly wanted to see the man.

He knew his friends would judge him for such a desire, but right now his friends weren’t here; he hadn’t gotten around to seeing them yet.

Finding out what had happened to him was more important, at least at the moment; only after that would he allow himself to track down his friends.

When he arrived at the dungeon, he grimaced. It was dirty and reminded him a bit too much of his narrow escape from imprisonment in the shadow realm, but when he saw Aerin, it was hard to think about anything else.

For having been locked in a dungeon for a year, he didn’t look bad, though perhaps that was just because Cyrus’ thought he was incapable of really looking bad.

Aerin didn’t notice him for a moment, and Cyrus took that opportunity to really study him. I looked him up and down, trying to see if there was any sign of his past corruption, but no, he looked as human as he had been that night by the lake, the night they’d kissed, the night that Cyrus almost wished he could forget because it would make this so much easier.

"Hello, Aerin," he said, his voice stiff and rather unsure. He didn’t know what Aerin might think of seeing him again. If anyone had a right to be angry, then it was Cyrus, but still, he couldn’t stand the idea of Aerin hating him.

Aerin, who had been looking out the small window of his cell, spun around and looked at Cyrus with wide, disbelieving eyes. "Cyrus," he said, stepping forward to the bars of his cell, his dark eyes tracking up and down Cyrus’ body, looking over him with abject shock, which he supposed was to be expected when he’d been trapped in the shadow realm for a year.

"You’re here; I didn’t think-" He broke off and wrapped his pale hands around the bars of his cell, holding on so tightly that his knuckles turned white. He seemed at a loss for words, which was strange to Cyrus; because Aerin had always seemed so well spoken, he didn’t seem like the type to stumble over his words.

Cyrus crossed his arms and stepped up to the cell, so close that he would be able to touch the prince if he dared to reach forward. He didn’t dare; he just kept his face schooled into careful neutrality. "I am; I take it you knew I was gone," he muttered.

It made sense that the prince would have been aware of his disappearance; his friends undoubtedly would have interrogated him to try and get information, but seeing as Cyrus had been lost to the shadow realm for an unknown amount of time, clearly he hadn’t had any information that would help. Either that, or he knew and simply refused to help.

Cyrus hoped it was the first, because the thought that Aerin could have saved him but refused to do so was not something he even wanted to consider.

"Yes, your friends told me; they wanted to know how to get you back," Aerin explained, still looking at Cyrus like he was something unbelievable, and maybe he was.

"And what did you tell them?” Cyrus asked and stepped a bit closer, as if he were being pulled forward by an invisible force. Even back when he’d first met Aerin, he had been drawn to him; it hadn’t really made sense then, and it makes even less sense now, but something about the man pulled Cyrus in; it ensnared him, and he wasn’t sure he wanted it to let go.

Aerin smiled a little sadly and met Cyrus’ eyes, his gaze holding so much truth that Cyrus thought he would have believed whatever came out of his mouth. "I told them the truth, that I didn’t know how to get you back," he explained, and Cyrus didn’t question the answer; he believed him.

Maybe it was a sign of his own weakness that he was so easily trusting someone who had betrayed him before, but he couldn’t help it.

Cyrus clenched his jaw and looked back at the door behind him, checking to see if anyone was lingering in the doorway, but when he saw no one around, he stepped forward, and like he had done in the shadow realm, he concentrated hard before he slipped through the bars and into Aerin’s cell.

He had done it both out of a desire to be closer to the man and because he was curious whether he could accomplish it again. In the shadow realm, he had been under pressure to get it right, so it actually proved to be easier this time.

Perhaps it wasn’t the best idea to put himself inside a locked cage with a man who had hurt him in the past, but the shocked look on Aerin’s face was enough to make up for that.

"How did you do that?" He asked, leaning forward with abject curiosity, and for a moment he seemed very much like he had when they had first met. It sent a pang of hurt through Cyrus’ body.

Cyrus shook his head and just stepped to the side, leaning himself against the wall of Aerin’s cell. "I’m not here to talk about me, Aerin; I need to know about the Ash Empire," he said, something in his shoulders tightening as he said the name, because after an untold amount of time in their clutches, the name alone was enough to set him on edge, and the thought of Valex was worse.

The mention of the Ash Empire was enough to shut Aerin up, his dark eyebrows drawing up in something like concern, but Cyrus doubted it was real.

"That’s who had you?" Aerin asked, and Theo screwed his eyes shut, fighting off a wave of anger and annoyance that were manifesting themselves into a pounding headache behind his eyes.

He stood up straight and began to pace back and forth in front of the bars of the cell. "I told you we aren’t talking about me; just tell me what you know, Aerin," he snapped, drawing in a deep breath to try and calm his racing mind.

A year of life was weighing on his shoulders, a year he had missed and would never get back, and under the haze of blocked-out memories, he was starting to realize that his time in the shadow realm must have been much worse than he could remember, and he wasn’t sure whether to be glad or angry that those memories were missing.

"I’ll tell you what I know, but it isn’t much," Aerin said, seemingly picking up on Cyrus’ discomfort with ease as he stepped back and situated himself on a bench in the corner, the golden light from the window filtering down onto his face, shrouding his head in a halo of light.

It made him look almost like Cyrus remembered him, standing by a shining lake, kissing beneath the moonlight as if time meant nothing.

Cyrus shook his head, refusing to get lost in the memory. "Thank you," he muttered, nodding for Aerin to continue and explain whatever he knew about the Ash Empire.

Unfortunately, it didn’t seem the prince knew much of the empire—at least nothing truly helpful—though he did help fill in some details that had been nagging at Cyrus’ head. It wasn’t what he would have hoped to learn, but it was better than nothing.

He knew well enough not to believe that Aerin had told him everything; he knew the man was probably hiding things, but Cyrus decided those secrets could remain just that for the time being. It wasn’t that he didn’t want to know, but because if he let the man keep his secrets, then Cyrus would have a reason to come back, and he refused to give that up.

Cyrus knew he should leave now; he should turn away and exit the cell the same way he had entered, but instead he looked toward Aerin. "Do you regret it?" He blurted it out, hating himself for asking because he was sure he knew the answer and didn’t want to hear it.

"Which part? Working with the dread lord, or hurting you?" Aerin asked, and Cyrus drew in a sharp breath as he realized the implication of the question. That the answer would change depending on the meaning of the question.

"Both," he responded, stepping a bit closer as Aerin stood from his seat and moved as well. They stopped at the same time, painfully close together, the sunlight between them creating a barrier of light between Cyrus and the man who had the power to pull him toward corruption.

"If you hadn’t come into my life, I would have taken the throne without any remorse; I would have killed my brother without guilt, but thinking about you and the pain I caused you, that I do regret," Aerin said, the words falling from his lips and trailing off into a sigh that sent a shiver down Cyrus’ spine.

He knew Aerin was not a good man and that the things he’d done were not forgivable acts. It should make Cyrus hate him, but he was weak; he was idealistic, and he thought perhaps the man could change, that the prince could pull himself into a better man, one who Cyrus could be proud of caring for, not a monster that he felt ashamed of loving.

"I would have had you as my consort, Cyrus; you would have been king alongside me."

Cyrus’ eyes grew wide, and he swallowed thickly. Their eyes met, and Cyrus shook his head, forcing himself to look away, over at the window, out at the light. "I wouldn’t want that," he whispered, tensing up as Aerin stepped closer to him.

"No, I suppose you wouldn't; you dream of adventure and glory, but not power or majesty." Aerin’s voice was soft, gentle, and warm, like the sun.

Cyrus wanted to bask in that warmth, to lose himself in the feeling and forget all the troubles he’d ever known.

A hand touched his cheek, and Cyrus couldn’t pull away; he just accepted the touch and told himself it would be the last one he allowed, though he knew that was a lie.

"Will you visit me again?" Aerin asked, his hand drifting across Cyrus’ blue skin, brushing across his lips and up toward his cheekbone, where warm fingers pushed a strand of hair behind his pointed ear before pulling away entirely, leaving Cyrus cold.

He took a step back, the sounds of his shoes the only noise in the air as he turned his back on the prince and slid his way through the solid bars.

Pausing outside the cell, he stood up straighter, forced his shoulders back, and spoke, but didn’t dare look back. "I don’t know," he answered, but once again, it was a lie.

He knew he would be back, whether it was for information or simply because he couldn’t resist the temptation. That was the only factor that was unknown.

[denimbex1986]

'...Speaking of the Indie Spirits, your love of Andrew Scott, especially his performance as Moriarty in Sherlock, is very well-documented. We love him here, too. And now, you’re both nominated in acting categories at the same awards show—how cool is that, and how does that feel?

BE: It’s ridiculous. It’s crazy. It’s, like, silly. Why am I nominated also? Andrew is truly the best to ever do it. I love him so much. I’m so excited to see him. I love him. Also, Fleabag is one of the greatest shows ever created, and he is unbelievable in that show. I felt so awesome when everybody was like, “You ever heard of Andrew Scott? I found him in this new show, Fleabag,” and I remember being like, “Y’all—”

We knew!

BE: We’ve been knew! Andrew, I love him so much, so much. I’ve really been in love with him since I was, like, ten.

No, me, too. The amount of times I’ve typed “Moriarty pool scene BBC Sherlock” into YouTube is unreal.

BE: Oh, bro, I have that shit memorized. I literally held all my friends hostage the other day at three in the morning and forced them to watch that entire scene and then the rooftop scene.

Finneas, you’re a fan, too—come on, get in here!

F: I put Billie onto Sherlock!

BE: He did.

F: I love Sherlock. Yeah, [Scott’s] so great in it. And that was the first thing I’d ever seen Benedict Cumberbatch in. So much fun...'

[unpassive-viewer]

Across the Spider-Verse Review (mild spoilers)

I have finally seen the long-awaited sequel to my most favourite movie. Y’all, I am in love with what Sony is doing for Spider-Man these days. I have literally not been this excited to see a movie since I was 12 years old waiting in line in a themed outfit to see Catching Fire for its opening weekend, and I think this film lived up to that hype. I have some critiques, but overall it was really good. I won’t include any major plot spoilers, but I’ve tagged it as mild spoilers just in case you’re the type of person who doesn’t like to know a single thing going into this movie. 

The good (not in order of importance): 

1. More Gwen character development. She’s in this one in a much larger capacity than the first one, and all of her parts were awesome. 

2. Soundtrack. I started listening it to it before I even went to see the film. It’s good music already, but it is such a different experience to hear it over the movie. The art direction for these films is SEAMLESS, the different elements blend so well. 

3. The visuals. The animation is genuinely so beautiful, I would use literally every frame of this movie as a screensaver, and I would tattoo them on the inside of my eyelids if that didn’t mean I’d have to pick only one. I want to give the animators a big kiss on the mouth because this film is so visually incredible. 

4. The fight scenes. I love animation because you can capture things that cameras just can’t. The pacing of the fighting was so, so good. It’s one of the only movies I’ve seen that keeps the momentum of its fight sequences and really lets you feel the energy of the actions you’re watching. It was unique from movies like the second Captain America, whose fight scenes I also LOVE, because of the way it followed characters with such fast and dynamic movement. Whereas the Winter Soldier had great representation of real fighting styles, Across the Spider-verse was able to make use of a lot of its characters uniquely-inspired movements like Gwen’s dancer style. It could also follow them while they did insanely complex movements - if you’ve seen Gwen’s first fight scene, you’ll know exactly what I’m talking about. 

5. The new characters are unbelievably cool. All of them. From the design to their personalities to their theme songs, they were really well thought out. In particular Spider-Man 2099 and Spider Byte are so beautifully visually contrasted with the rest of the movie. The characters also felt very honest to their backstories. By that I mean it felt like the animators and storyboard writers really did their research into the people they were trying to emulate, both from a source material standpoint and a cultural standpoint. 

6. Miles’ story in the sequel is still really interesting, despite him being established as a character now, and the additional dimensions this film brings to his character are super cool. 

7. The humour is top notch, and very true to Spidey humour that has carried through all of its iterations. I especially liked the first altercation between Miles and the main villain. It reminded me of Letterkenney and VEEP in that I felt like I needed subtitles to get all of the jokes because they were so rapid-fire and because the characters were talking over one another. It’s a very organic brand of humour that I appreciate. 

8. The inclusion of so many Spider characters was well handled. The MCU movies now essentially make no sense because of how much background knowledge you need just to watch one film. Comparatively this handled having literally hundreds of similarly designed characters really well. 

9. It seemed like altogether (much like the first one) there was a lot of creative license for this film. My biggest critique of Disney movies is that they’re soulless because of how much they’re supposed to appeal to a wide audience to maximize profits, but this movie and its predecessor have actual soul. If I learn that all the animators were treated like trash and they considered this film their personal hell I will be crushed, because it looks like something that is the product of a lot of amazing minds coming together for an incredible project. 

10. A lot of fun nods to the other Spider-Man films and games. Spider-Man PS2 is in there, and I think Yuri Lowenthal even does a voice cameo. I’m a big fan of the “don’t get me started on Dr. Strange and that little nerd on Earth-199999″ line. 

The less good:

1. Way too long. This film did not need a 2+ hour runtime. After about 1h40 I started thinking at the beginning of every scene “this has to be the end now, right?” wrong. This film had a “first book of the Lord of the Rings technically just being exposition” feeling to it. 

2. Too many heart to heart scenes. One of my least favourite things in cinema lately is trying to force feed you character development through dialogue. There could have been like... 10 fewer drawn-out heartfelt conversations and the movie wouldn’t have changed. 

3. The two major conflicts kind of got lost in one another. I enjoyed both but after a point I was confused as to what the real issue was. I know we’ll see the resolution in the second part, but I felt at least from my first viewing that I was watching a second movie after a point. 

4. No comparable “what’s up danger” scene. To be fair, I think that scene from the first movie is my favourite in literally all of cinema. I want to inject it into my veins, I want to breathe it like perfume, I want to wrap it around myself like a blanket. It is beautiful and perfect and amazing and I don’t know if it can be topped, but it was strange to have so many smaller moments that were supposed to be cool that were sort of lost in one another. HOWEVER I have to assume we will get another one in the second part next year. Miles’ character arc is obviously not done, so it makes sense that we will get something like that closer to the climax of the next movie. 

Anyways, I will be seeing it a second time in theatres. I usually don’t see films in the cinema because it’s so expensive, but I will happily give this franchise all of my money. I cannot overstate this - I am genuinely looking at getting a tattoo for this franchise. Sony owns me and I am okay with that. 

[always-rolling-my-eyes]

Ok, no one asked, but here are my thoughts / impressions of the DWTS 32 cast, and I’m going to be honest, I had to google more people on this cast than any other season before so 😬:

Excited for:

Ariana Madix: I am obsessed with all things Bravo and the #Scandoval was literally my entire life for about for 4 months. She has dance and performing experience, and I think she’s going to be really good. Plus, having Pasha as a pro, the choreography he is going to give her 😍 (not to be morbid, but this is actually the couple I’m most sad that Len won’t get to see 😢)

Alyson Hannigan: I was a Buffy fan and loved HIMYM (until that god awful finale 🤮) so I am so happy (but very surprised tbh) to see her on the cast. Idk how much of a natural mover she’ll be, but I think she’s going to have a really great attitude and just enjoy the experience. I am expecting typical Sasha so…yeah 🤷🏻‍♀️

Jason Mraz: I’m mostly excited for him because he’s with Daniella tbh 😂 she always does such great work with her partners and is able to pull the very best out of them. I can see him being a good performer and them being a very strong team. Also, yay to new mommy, Daniella! 💗

Mira Sorvino: Romy! I know she has had a rough time (fuck you H*rvey W*instein🖕🏻) and I hope this journey brings her happiness and joy and she sees how much support she has and why, oh why did they have to partner her with Gleb 😩

Intrigued by:

Tyson Beckford: Wow. He is 😍 isn’t he? And apparently his only dance experience is a guest performance with Chippendales (shocking 😂) which will be interesting because we all know how Jenna is as a teacher 😬. I predict a lot of shirts being taken off 🙄 (but also 😏) And again, yay to new mommy, Jenna! 💗

Matt Walsh: Seen him guest star on almost every sitcom ever 😂 and I see his trajectory going one of two ways: he’s terrible and voted out early, or he’s the lovable guy the GP falls in love with because of his dedication and journey. He’s either low hanging fruit or a dark horse and with Koko as his partner, I would lean towards dark horse.

Mauricio Umansky: So…(separated?) husbands of Real Housewives are stars now? Whatever 🙄 and honestly out of all the House Husbands, I am unbelievably grateful this is the one they chose. (istg if it was any of those misogynistic animals from RHONJ, I would not have watched this season) but anyway, I think he’ll work hard but not take it too seriously (not in a bad way) and he’ll have fun with it. Plus, it will be a cold day in hell before I don’t support Emma Slater. And aren’t they both single? 😏 I want an entanglement in the ballroom! 😂

Barry Williams: I’m only intrigued because we’ll probably get some sweet Florence Henderson mentions / memories because of him 😢. And Peta is definitely the designated first out partner atp. But it probably works for her so 🤷🏻‍♀️ and yay to mommy x2 Peta! 💗

Have heard of them, but don’t know them:

Charity Lawson: I know she was the Bachelorette but other than that, I got nothing. 🤷🏻‍♀️ But I always root for Artem, and he’s pretty consistent with his partners and choreography. That combined with Bachelor Nation, very possible they make the Finals unless she is absolutely, undeniably terrible (which I doubt) or if shenanigans happen

Xochitl Gomez: I’ve heard her name before, but I always thought she was a singer 🥴 my bad 😂 I haven’t watched anything Marvel related in almost two years, so 🤷🏻‍♀️ she’ll probably go far especially because of the Disney / ABC connection as well as Val being the most production assisted pro in DWTS history (sorry, but y’all know how I feel about Val 🤮 😂) but I do think she’s going to be fun to watch and actually be a good dancer, I just don’t have faith her partner will give her good choreography. We’ll see how (or if) that effects things (probably not)

Had absolutely no idea who they were:

Lele Pons: Influencer? I guess? She seems nice and I love how excited she is to be on the show. I think she’s going to be a lot of fun and maybe this can be a breakthrough season for Brandon🤞🏻

Harry Jowsey: Reality Star? Dating show? Youtuber? I have no idea tbh. And, not to go all Karen Smith, but if he’s British, why isn’t he on Strictly? 🤨 But very much looking forward to Rylee as a pro. I always enjoyed Lindsay as a teacher / choreographer, so let’s see if it runs in the family 😂

Adrian Peterson: I WISH I STILL DIDN’T KNOW WHO HE WAS. WTF 🤬 Poor Britt. To go from Daniel to this? The ultimate downgrade 😔

Don’t give one single fuck about:

Jamie Lynn Spears: I have made my feelings on this vile creature known 🤮 Apologies and best of luck to Alan (not really tho because I want her foul ass eliminated asap)

[chopper-witch]

I had to sit and think for a little bc my mind was so full but the season 1 finale of Rings of Power was…

Holy shit.

Chemistry and acting on point. Everyone was acting with their whole pussy out. Every twist was like a new smack in the face even if they were fairly predictable.

Have to give insane props to Charlie Vickers because that change from annoyed but kind of proud casual Southlander to downright sinister was beyond phenomenal.

Morfydd Clark was fantastic for her collection of facial expressions. The small ones and the large ones were so amazing.

Same thing for Lloyd Owen. The changes in vocal intonation and facial expressions was unbelievable. Well, believable, but the unbelievableness comes from how well he did it.

Daniel Weyman really nailed mannerisms and speech patterns once the veil really began lifting.

Markella Kavenagh and Megan Richards made me cry so much. Lenny Henry too. But those two… fuck.

I’ll do a longer post later.

I am so excited for s2.

Also if I hear one more goddamn complaint about how that isn’t how it happened in the books, I’m going to s c r e a m. I watched Alicent try to actively harm one of Rhaenyra’s kids then cut her instead when that never fucking happened in Fire and Blood. Halaena isnt a dreamer in the books. Laenor is all but confirmed dead (dragons only bond to new riders if their rider is dead. Seasmoke moves on in the book. He isn’t dead in the show but Seasmoke is presumably still bonding to [redacted].). To name just a few changes. And guess what? Those changes are good.

Rings of Power’s changes work well for what they are attempting to accomplish with what rights Amazon has. Cause fucking hell, they don’t have the rights to two major works. Complaining about poor writing (like how they don’t actually make you care about any of the characters initially and rely on prior attachment while shows like Stranger Things and House of the Dragon instantly suck you in and make you care for characters that don’t last beyond an episode), is FINE. Good even. But bitching about how the books were different is just… christ. Every show or movie changes things from books/comics. That does not automatically make it bad. Shit y’all.

[powerofelvis]

Literally woke up just to say I’m two people away from 100 followers and I am unbelievably excited about that! Y’all are the best ever! 🥰🥰🥰 THANK YOU OH SO MUCH!

-Daisy

[survivor-north-sea]

Finale: "I can't believe I cried at tribal council for NOTHING!!!!" - Trinica

Trinica

JayJay's last act was to sabotage my perfect game and give Champ a shot at winning this...iconic. ICONIC. I can't even be mad about it as a fan of Survivor, it was a good move. I fell for her act hook line and sinker and told her she was the vote.

I don't know what to do with these idols of mine but I know I'm making it to final 4 at least!

Raffy

Can y’all believe I’m making Final 4? Honestly RIP Trinica. Unless Champ wants to take out someone else? Idk it just makes the most sense for her to take out Trinica but what do I know. I’m going to secure my spot by winning final immunity. Then at FTC I’m gonna wow everyone with how pretty I am then win. Great plan by me

-

Yeah I think Champ is just going to use it on herself. Jinx asked to be voted out. I’m going to oblige. Hopefully I can’t win FIC.

Toni

Theme: Last Rites

This may be my last confession. Low-Key hoping it is lol.

My extra vote cost us an all BW final 3 and I am hugely affected. I cant eat, I can't sleep. I am worn and torn and tired. JK.

I was really sad about it yesterday and this morning but I think all those feelings have subsided. I don't know what the plan is but I hope by an act of god we manage to do something unbelievable.

Let's hope this isn't my last rite but if anyone goes tonight I hope it's me.

Jinx

do not have a jinx cast yet i went to record the goodbye one and started crying <3

Champ

The way Jayjay and I pulled off a fake idol scenario is so funny to me. Everyone believes I actually have it when I don’t

Trinica

I can't believe I cried at tribal council for NOTHING!!!!

I felt like I needed to share the news about my two idols with Raffy, Jinx, and Toni (though I knew she already knew) because I was twisting my brain into a pretzel playing 3D chess trying to figure out if there was any way to ensure Champ went home. I did have a feeling she would be comfortable and wouldn't want to play her idol-- it would be a move the jury might be excited about, and she needed a risky move. I assumed she had to have an idol since Jeff Probst always says whether an idol is real or fake, and Jay mentioned the idol transfer, but now I'm wondering if the idol was real at all. If it wasn't, I'll know for future games not to make assumptions that just because Jay said something it means it's real LOL

I'm honestly still a little emotional about this. This last challenge feels like one anyone could win, so there's a possibility that the vecepia alliance makes it to the end for real, which would be just beautiful. I maintain that if I make it to the end with Toni, Toni wins, but it would be an honor to lose to either of these amazing people. This goes way beyond the game, it's become a real symbol and truly does reflect what Black gay magic looks like. <3

Toni

Theme: Reckoning

HELLO WORLD!

I thought the last entry was going to be my last but here I am and happy to be here after completely exposing our game and crying real tears on live camera like a clown. The BIG 3 are still alive and kicking!!

I just want to say I'm so proud of Trinica! This game has been HER game. She's played it so well even when she played for herself (i.e. when I discovered she had an idol before she told me) I never worried about her loyalty. The only person who ever made me doubt trinica is JayJay - what a player she was. I'm equally as proud of jinx because everything we've talked about concerning her i've seen come to the surface in this game but she's still remained herself which is an amazing and a hard thing to do. I'm really proud of us because we had legitimate worries about each other throughout this game and still we persisted. We chose to be allies right at the start of the game in the first week of the game THE BIG THREE was final three and we continued to CHOOSE to be allies even when faces with growing pains and misunderstandings. I remember choosing to stand by jinx after out misunderstanding, I remember Trinica choosing to stand by me after our misunderstanding and jinx choosing to stand by us when we blindsided her and even choosing to fight our corner from the jury seat when she thought we were in danger.

This is just a game but I also feel like this game has transcended just being a game to us. There's something powerful about what we've done and after spiralling in and out of game throughout the second half of the game i've come to a center. What has balanced me is the knowing that everything bonding WAS real and anything game was just a game. I've realised how much my perspective of the game matters and my perspective of the game is the bond 3 black women have made in this game. Though I respect the other perspective was confusing and frustrating to others that was only because they could not break us and thats something to be celebrated.

I've been thinking about what my game has been and I've realised that my game has mostly been social and in as much as i've had to lie and manipulate those outside my alliance whether I like it or not I was very good at it. That doesn't have to speak to my moral compass or character it could also speak to an area of skill I usually use to inspire others or capture their loyalty in my real life. I'm also very proud of following my gut. My gut has told me whenever I was about to be betrayed, its told me where idols were, its told me who to trust and who to keep at arms length and that has also been extremely affirming.

At the start of the week I was trembling at the thought of the FTC reckoning but now I feel safe in the idea that the bonds I made were real and the game I played was genuine. Many things I did may have been misinterpreted and other things may have been intentional on my end but I truly believe that everyone was able to see my genuine heart despite the game.

I hope Raffy does not win immunity because this is the final hurdle to realising our dream. 3 mistakes I regret in this game - 1. Not voting Raffy out sooner 2. Not letting them vote JayJay out 3. Voting Bethany out when my gut told me she was actually loyal somewhat to Pink Venom.

Guess thats it! GOODBYE WORLD! (the world of the game or the vacuum i'm speaking in - I AM NOT SUICIDAL). P.S. Jay, you're amazing and I commend you for having to read through all my anxiety confessionals that must have been exhausting lol.

Raffy

The last man. The last Tromoya. And the last juror. I'm that girl.

Trinica

I BEAT RAFFY!!!!!!!! AND NOT JUST AT A TIEBREAKER!!!!!!!!!!!

I'm actually in shock. The vecepia alliance WILL be at final 3. We manifested it, and here we are.

I'm listening to a podcast about the best way to craft an opening statement while also drafting answers to most likely questions I'll get from the jury. I want to be PREPARED! I'm low-key bummed that it won't be a live-on-video final tribal, but I've always been more eloquent in my writing so hopefully this works in my favor.

Jinx

RUNS TO MAKE A CONFESSIONAL BEFORE DEADLINE FOR THE VERY LAST TIME

-

last jinxcast 🥹 https://voca.ro/1oQnBnOL6lkr

[inspiredlovers]

LeBron James' Son Bronny Stuns Basketball World After...

LeBron James' Son Bronny Stuns Basketball World After... LeBron James Jr., aka Bronny, left basketball fans bouncing with excitement after his performance in a high school tournament game on Friday night. The high school senior, who is the eldest son of LeBron James, scored 31 points during the Las Vegas tournament called Top Flight Invite. His team from Sierra Canyon School in the Chatsworth neighborhood of Los Angeles, defeated Las Vegas’ Bishop Gorman High, 82-64. Video clips of Bronny playing in the tournament made rounds on Twitter early Saturday morning, sparking a lot of chatter about the 18-year-old’s talent and future in basketball. NBA All-Star Isaiah Thomas tweeted: “Bronny is cold!! I been telling y’all. He plays hoop the RIGHT way!!!” LeBron James' Son Bronny Stuns Basketball World After... A highlight reel published by SportsCenter NEXT garnered more than 27,000 likes on Twitter. One of Bronny’s many admirers included his dad, the Los Angeles Lakers star, who tweeted some words of encouragement: https://twitter.com/NBADraftWass/status/1583272996667412480?t=HStTe1KRGQbtElL3CXexRg&s=19 The four-time NBA champion often discusses his desire to play in the NBA alongside his son. During an appearance on Season 2 of the IMDB TV docuseries by Uninterrupted, the multimedia brand LeBron James founded with Maverick Carter, the “Space Jam” star did not mince words about his hopes for his son’s future. “I want him to get to the NBA,” he said. “I am not even gonna lie. I want to be on the court with him. I think that will be an unbelievable moment.” READ MORE: What about Stephen Curry? Warriors Release Report Ahead of Matchup Against 2x MVP Nikola Jokic Bronny’s mom, Savannah James, recently celebrated his 18th birthday in a sweet Instagram tribute, which included a throwback picture of the high school senior as a baby. “I’m so proud of the man you have become,” she wrote in the post’s caption, “and I look forward to seeing you thrive and be great in the future!!!” This article originally appeared on HuffPost and has been updated. Read the full article

[heavengirls111]

literally using my tumblr as my diary rn bc if i tweet any of this they’ll all question me

literally why am i the fucking problem???? i never did anything wrong, and whatever i did wrong i apologized for it already

it’s not fucking fair the way they’re all treating me rn

and then they fucking complain i’m gonna change schools ???? I WANT TO FUCKING CHANGE SCHOOLS BC THIS SHIT IS DESTROYING ME, and so are you guys 🤨🤨 literally at least try to make less obvious that u hate me or just say it to my face already

i can’t believe i read all that, i just wanna go home so i can cry a whole lot

unbelievable

and to say i’m bringing her with me, bringing her WHERE. we get along and we are friends and we both want to change schools

so we find a school, we search about it and we fucking like it. it’s literally a private school from the 1870’s, it has the vibe we want, we’re excited. why tf can’t u be happy for us?????

and i didn’t make anyone go to this school with me, i want to go to this place since last year, i’ve been considering this shit since last year and now i have the opportunity to take an admission exam and attend this place, and she saw the opportunity too and we’re going together, and what about it ???

you guys are so selfish that u can’t be happy, only jealous. and then i am the selfish one “she’s fun but she never comprehends nobody”, i am here all the time, all the fucking time. it’s amazing how nobody ever sees my side. i am here to listen to everyone’s problems and i’m always cool with u guys, even when it’s obvious that u hate me. i’m always trying to be here while being emotionally DRAINED, and when i try to do something for myself i’m the selfish one, fuck u

and i’ve been saying i want to quit our current school bc they’re destroying me emotionally, yes they are but so are you guys

the way i feel like i can’t truste NO ONE, and when i say no one i really mean it, you all have separate groups, literally our big group and then a bunch of separate groups y’all create when we have a fight (which is everyday) and just roast each other, you call this a friend group? shut the fuck up

you guys are a bunch of cunts, i’m fucking glad i’m quitting this shit so i can stay away from you and this toxic friend group

you guys are so fucking weird honestly

and we are close friends but is so weird how we can’t say best friends bc we both have other best friends, even tho we know we are closer. and i just wish we could admit it, and i could talk about this more openly with her, but i’m still scared

it really is suffocating how i can’t really tell this to anyone who’s in the same social circle as us bc it would go really wrong and i would take the blame bc i’m always at fault

i’m just so fucking tired

i just haven’t killed myself still bc i have hope for next year, and my next year’s new friends that i hope to god won’t do this to me bc they’ll actually CARE ABOUT ME

idk just fuck u guys and your bullshit