#y’all it’s bad I’m petrified and it’s making me angry bc like
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#that feel when in your latest chapter on your journey of being white and unlearning racism#you have once again found yourself in the Massive Pit Of Fear Of Writing Race Wrong#and this time it’s about your latest fandom obsession#and since you have now effectively cut yourself off at the knees from your usual fandom participation method#and are so blocked you can’t write fanfic you really want to write bc you’re afraid you’re going to Do A Racism about it#you just kinda. exist. in the fandom space now#forever consuming but not creating any output or outlet#until you die you guess#I wanna write gay pirate romcom fic so bad but I clam up when I open my word docs#y’all it’s bad I’m petrified and it’s making me angry bc like#YOU TOOK MY ORIGINAL WRITING FROM ME AND NOW MY FANFIC TOO???#DAMN YOU FEAR THAT I HAVE TO PUSH THROUGH AND BE OKAY WITH MAKING MISTAKES AND HUMBLE ENOUGH TO LEARN FROM THEM#MAKING EVERYTHING SO DIFFICULT#almost makes me want to tear down my fic and start over#but if I go down that route I may not come back with anything at all#keep moving forward and all that#again. do a racism again. I want to clarify that part of this blockage is bc I have indeed written racist things already#and now that I know about it I don’t want to do it again#anyway carry on I guess just venting to the void
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