#yaas i love papa

[nidadisini]

umi

i love seeing my mom.

hari ini, aku tak sengaja melihat foto lama umi. tersimpan dalam memori kamera jadul yang sengaja kubawa untuk kurawat dan kuperbaiki.

my mom is a passionate, brave, and independent woman ever.

i still didn't believe how she survived saat ditinggal abi di kalimantan, passionate and professional at her work, yet still managed mendidik anak-anaknya dengan cara terbaik beliau.

umi is everything at home. umi yang masak walaupun nggak jago-jago amat. umi yang membenarkan motor mogok. umi yang membenarkan atap bocor. umi yang mengantar anak-anaknya sekolah, lomba, ngaji, main. umi yang menyetir sendiri saat mudik, menjemput abi pulang dinas—menyetir samarinda-balikpapan, solo-pemalang, membantu teman-temannya yang butuh. umi yang mengajarkan nida matematika, mengajarkan nida membaca koran setiap hari sambil mengisi tts, mengajarkan nida untuk mencintai buku, mengajarkan nida untuk disiplin dalam pembinaan diri.

tapi umi juga everything saat di luar rumah. umi yang semangat dan profesional dalam bekerja. umi yang supel dan punya segudang teman—ibu soto, pak satpam, masmas cs, ibu koran, atasan kerja, teman seruangan. umi yang bisa mengimbangi abi dan menjadi partner sharing abi dalam bekerja. umi yang menjadi partner sharing nida dalam segala urusan—kuliah, cinta, kesehatan, pendidikan, ekonomi, politik, kultural. umi yang mengajarkan nida untuk hidup sebagai perempuan mandiri dan tangguh. umi yang menguatkan nida ketika rapuh.

dalam foto yang diambil belasan tahun yang lalu itu, senyum umi sangat lebar. umi masih muda dan sangat cantik. umi yang selalu menjadi wanita berani dan berdikari. umi yang mungkin masih menyimpan mimpi-mimpi besar yang menyala saat masih muda. maaf ya mi, kalau nida menjadi alasan salah satu atau beberapa mimpi umi kemudian padam.

terima kasih yaa mi. nida beruntung sudah dilahirkan dari seorang umi yang hebat dan keren abis. terima kasih yaa mi sudah membesarkan nida dan adik-adik dengan kasih sayang tak hingga. terima kasih yaa mi sudah memahami masalah-masalah nida walaupun mungkin rumit dan susah diterima. terima kasih yaa mi sudah membersamai langkah nida dengan ridho, dukungan, dan doa tak henti yang nida nggak tau harus membalasnya dengan bentuk apa.

semoga di usia umi yang ke-49 ini, Allah selalu membersamai umi dalam ridho, rahmat dan barakah-Nya sepanjang waktu. semoga Allah selalu melimpahi umi dengan hal-hal baik.

selamat ulang tahun yaa uminya nida tersayang <3

--------

(masih h-4 sih, nggak papa ditulis duluan hehe)

[formybelovedd]

*ੈ♡⸝⸝🪐༘⋆*ੈ♡⸝⸝🪐༘⋆ *ੈ

Happy birthday for the love of my life. ♡

It's your birthday boyfi !! Gimana perasaan kamu di hari ini? Jujur aku excited banget karena ini hari ulang tahun kamu. Bangun bobo tadi, gimana perasaan kamuu? Semalem bobonya nyenyak juga kan pasti? Gantengku, boleh gak aku tau wish kamu ditahun sekarang itu apa?

Tapi pacarku, aku banyak sekali berdoa buat kamu. As you celebrate another year of your life, I want you to know how much you mean to me and to so many others. You are a shining light in this world, bringing joy and positivity wherever you go. Your strength, kindness, and generosity inspire us all, and we are so grateful to have you in our lives.

On this special day, I wish nothing but the best for you. May all your dreams come true, and may you be blessed with good health, happiness, and success in everything you do. May you always find the courage to pursue your passions and the strength to overcome any obstacles that come your way.

As you blow out the candles on your cake, know that you are loved and cherished by so many. Your presence in our lives makes the world a better place, and we are honored to celebrate this milestone with you. Here's to another year of laughter, love, and adventure.

*ੈ♡⸝⸝🪐༘⋆*ੈ♡⸝⸝🪐༘⋆ *ੈ

I've been hearing this song all the time, lately. Lagunya kaya sama apa yang ada dipikiran ku ke kamu.

"Aren't you somethin' to admire, cause your shine is somethin' like a mirror"

Meowsku, kamu itu beneran seseorang yang aku kagumi dalam semua hal. Haha aku kagum banget sama semua sikap kamu.

"And I can't help but notice, your reflect in this heart of mine"

Bener yaa, dimana pun aku pergi, kesuatu tempat, ngeliat sesuatu, aku selalu ingetnya kamu. Hal kecil yang aku temuin dan ada kaitannya sama kamu, aku langsung inget kamu. Pacarku kemana aja aku pergi, ternyata aku selalu bawa kamu kemana pun.

"I can't ever change without you, you reflect me, I love that about you"

Aku mau banyak ngucapin makasih ke kamu karena hadirnya kamu di dunia ini, hadirnya kamu di hidup aku bisa buat aku berubah dengan versi terbaikku. Makasih banyak ya gantengku, kamu cerminan aku, kamu contoh buat aku bisa lebih baik lagi. Aku terharu banget, nangis. Semuanya tentang kamu.. aku suka. > <

*ੈ♡⸝⸝🪐༘⋆*ੈ♡⸝⸝🪐༘⋆ *ੈ

Makasih banyak ya mami 🌹 udah lahirin Leo ke dunia ini. Leo deserves all the good things in his life. Makasih juga buat papa udah didik Leo sampai bisa se-dewasa ini, sampai bisa tanggung jawab sama apa yang dia lakukan. Makasih juga buat adek Anne, karena kamu, koko jadi lebih banyak belajar rasa sabar dan ikhlas. Pacarku, i love you so much. ♡

Happy birthday gantengku! Semoga apa yang kamu jalanin jadi berkah buat semuanya. Khususnya buat kamu dan keluarga kamu. Pacarku, aku selalu disini buat kamuu, semoga rasa sayang dari aku selalu sampai ke kamu. Mami🌹 izinin aku buat sayang sama anak mami yang satu ini ya.

Oh iya, ada wish lain juga dari orang yang kamu kenal (beberapa) & dari seseorang! Harus dibaca semua, biar jadi doa. Okay? <3

HBD ABANG JEJAF. I wish you health, happiness, and prosperity as you continue to grow and thrive. May your dreams become reality, and may your heart overflow with love and laughter ya bang. Good luck on the new episode of yours! - jenoi

HAAAAAPY BIRTHDAY. hbd abang jejaf pacar nya hun aku! SEMUAAAAAAA doa baik untuk kamu hari ini yang lagi ulang tahun. happy birthday!😁 - Nana akuarium

HAPPY HAPPY HAPPY. Happy birtttthhhdaaayyy Bang Jezaaaafff! Wishing all the best for you, semoga sehat selalu dan semoga selalu diberi kelancaran dalam segala urusan. Bahagia selaaaluuuuu. 🌹🌹🫶🏻🫶🏻 - With love, YTTA.

Ini dari mamaku ᨳ᭬(੭˘͈ᵕ˘͈)੭

*ੈ♡⸝⸝🪐༘⋆*ੈ♡⸝⸝🪐༘⋆ *ੈ

Happy birthday 🎈

See you di Agustus tahun depan!

With love, your baby.

[babydinosaurs]

Untuk: 2022

Seperti tahun-tahun sebelumnya, tahun ini pun ku dedikasikan untuk orang-orang sekitar dan orang-orang tersayang yang –alhamdulillah nya– masih sama seperti tahun-tahun sebelumnya. Tapi, tahun 2022 ini ada yang berbeda. Ada sosok baru yang membersamaiku dalam tahun 2022 ini.

Pertemuanku dengan Mas Gals bisa dibilang penuh dengan kejutan ya, karena perkenalan kami pun secara tidak sengaja, yang berkelanjutan menjadi teman ngobrol seputaran film dan banyak hal, teman curhat, eh habis itu malah jadi lebih hehehe. Sama halnya dengan Mas Gals, aku pun tidak pernah menyangka perihal ini.

Seperti yang tadi di awal sudah aku sebutkan, pertemuanku dengannya penuh dengan ketidaksengajaan dan penuh kejutan. Sejak awal kenal pun aku tahu kita berjarak cukup jauh –81 km– , belum lagi kalau kita sedang di kampus masing-masing, jarak kami hampir 400 km. Tapi siapa yang tahu, setelah kita berkenalan ternyata kita punya banyak relasi? Siapa yang tahu kalau ternyata bestie-mu di kampus ternyata dulu teman sekelasku & teman seorganisasiku di SMA? Siapa yang tahu kalau ternyata sepupumu itu juga teman SMA-ku? Dan yang paling membuatku cukup kaget, siapa yang tahu kalau ternyata om dan bulik-mu ternyata dulu tetangganya bapakku sewaktu awal bapak ngekos untuk meniti karir, dan ternyata om-mu pernah melihatku waktu aku masih umur 3 tahun?

Dengan jarak 81 km dan hampir beda provinsi, kebetulan-kebetulan itu cukup membuatku yakin kalau we met for a reason.

Tahun ini seperti roller coaster; naik-turun. Tidak selamanya aku –dan kita– selalu baik-baik saja. There were times when we felt like we weren’t ourselves and it was quite hard times for us. Tapi aku selalu bangga karena kita selalu bisa melewatinya tanpa membiarkan ego yang menguasai. Dan masih banyak hal juga yang harus disyukuri! I mean, siapa yang nyangka, kita yang LDR, yang ketemu maksimal sebulan sekali doang, tapi kita bisa main sampai lintas kota?! Mostly mainnya di kotaku sih, di Purwokerto hehehe tapi pernah mlipir juga ke Cilacap kota dan main di Pantai Teluk Penyu sambil lihat Pulau Nusakambangan dari dekat. Waktu aku main ke kotamu sewaktu kamu sidang akhir, pacaran di Wanareja seru juga! Nggak lupa waktu di Jogja, and the most recent one, waktu kamu berkunjung ke Bandung!

Tuh, udah 5 kota, lho! Semoga nanti bertambah lagi yaa! Bersamaan dengan bertambahnya bucket list dan rencana ini itu, teriring pula doaku agar kita selalu diberikan kesehatan, kebahagiaan, dan umur panjang, serta kemudahan dan kelancaran dalam menjalani rencana-rencana ke depannya.

Tahun ini kamu keren sekali karena akhirnya bisa mendapatkan gelar! Aku memang belum ada sejak awal perjuanganmu, tapi aku paham bagaimana sulitnya tahun ini buatmu. Terima kasih banyak karena sudah bertahan sejauh ini. Terima kasih sudah dengan sangat berani menghadapi segala rintangan. Pasti berat yaa menjalani ini semua sendirian, nggak papa yaa, kamu kuat dan akan selalu seperti itu. Semoga aku bisa sekuat kamu yaa, mas!

Sepertinya cukup yang mau aku sampaikan. Terima kasih banyak sekali sudah membersamaiku di 2022 ini, dan semoga di tahun-tahun seterusnya juga. Aku minta maaf masih banyak kurangnya, terutama kurang ajar-nya sih hehehe. Kurang lebihnya, nanti aku sampaikan di chat yaa! Atau kalau sampai ada yang kelewat lagi, nanti akan aku sampaikan lewat doa.

Thank you for making my 2022 less shitty. Thank God you suck less than most people. Thank you for making it easier to live. Thank you for existing, for trying your best, for surviving, and for everything!

I love you, to infinity and beyond! 🚀✨🤍

[millatinaafifah]

Pillow talk with 4 yo daughter

Kama: Buk, padahal aku tuh masih pengen dianterin ibuk

Afifah: Iya dek, maaf ya. Sekarang ibuk udah harus berangkat pagi.

Kama: Aku pengen ibuk kayak dulu lagi, nggak kerja. Jadi bisa anterin aku, jemput aku.

Afifah: Iya maaf ya dek *nggak bisa nggak nangis*. Ibu minta maaf yaa..

Kama: Ibuk kenapa minta maaf, ibuk kan nggak salah.

Afifah: Karena nggak bisa nganter sama jemput adek sekolah

Kama: Nggak papa kok, aku tetep sayang ibuk *senyum*

Afifah: *makin ngucur*

Kama: Kenapa ibuk sedih?

Afifah: *sambil geter ngomongnya* Ya ibuk tu juga pengen nganter adek, jemput adek sekolah, tapi sekarang jalannya ibuk kerja lagi. Jadi kita syukuri aja ya dek, kita jalani yaa. Walaupun ibuk nggak bisa anter atau jemput adek, ibuk tetep sayaang banget sama adek.

Kama: Aku juga. Cuci muka buk, kalau ibuk nangis nanti banjir kamarnya kita tenggelem, hehehe. Udah tidur yuk.

Afifah: Hehe iya, yaudah bobo yuk. *merem tapi masih neteees aja*

Kama: Ibuk jangan sedih lagi ya. aku juga minta maaf ya

Afifah: Minta maaf kenapa?

Kama: Karena aku marah-marah kalo bangun pagi

Afifah: Ahaha, nggakpapa :)

Dari Kama lahir, dulu aku udah sering sedih dan merasa bersalah. Takut nggak adil, takut nggak bisa kasih yang sama kayak masnya. Aku udah minta maaf sama dia sejak dia masih bayi *cry*. Tapi aku juga janji kalau sayangku ke dia nggak akan berbeda. Yang sering bikin sedih, aku sering bandingin dia sama masnya. Aku di rumah sama anak-anak sampai masnya usia 6 tahun, sedangkan dia cuma 3 tahun. Masnya bisa kuanter jemput sampai TK B tapi dia masuk playgroup aku cuma bisa anter kadang-kadang. Dia mungkin inget waktu-waktu masih belum sekolah dan bareng sama aku nganter dan jemput masnya sekolah, tapi waktu dia sekolah malah nggak dianter jemput ibunya, hiks. Tapi masih bersyukur, karena masih bisa dianter jemput bapaknya. Aku takut ini nggak adil buat dia, tapi aku sadar kalau semua juga nggak bisa disamakan. Waktu berlalu, Kama tumbuh jadi anak yang baik insyaallah. Komunikasinya bagus, dia bisa mengutarakan perasaannya dengan baik. Pernah di waktu aku mau keluar kota dia bilang "Buk, aku belum siap ibuk pergi", kujawab "oh oke, kalau gitu apa yang bisa kita lakuin biar adek siap?". Meskipun aku tau itu nggak akan bikin dia jadi 100% siap. Tapi paling nggak saat dia bisa bilang perasaannya, aku bisa menanggapi dan cari solusi bareng-bareng. Aku sangat menghargai caranya berkomunikasi tanpa tangisan atau rengekan. Aku mengingat diriku sendiri di usia yang sama, mungkin nggak bisa ngomong kayak gitu ke ibuk, bahkan di usia yang lebih besar. Meskipun obrolannya jadi berat dan merasa dia jadi dewasa dan bikin aku terpotek-potek tapi kurasa itu lebih melegakan. Semoga kita bisa terus berkomunikasi dengan baik ya dek. Kita jalani ini semua bareng-bareng ya. I love you adek.

[astarinis]

Cerita suamik

Aku seneng dan bersyukur sekali karena suamiku adalah suami suportif wkwk

Dulu waktu masih SMA, akutu selalu mikir cintaku bertepuk sebelah tangan sama pria ini, bingung juga, kebaikan mana yang mengantarkan dia jadi suamiku beberapa tahun kemudian hihi.

Waktu awal nikah, aku kadang masih minder, ini orang nikahin aku karena males cari pasangan apa gimana ahaha, karena dia kadang ada cuek-cueknyaa.

Tapii, setelah nikah, hamill, apalagi waktu melahirkan dan sampe sekarang menyusui, aku jadi malu sendiri kalo masih nanyain, "kamu sayang gak sih sama aku?"

Karena di momen-momen dari awal hamil, dia selalu berusaha sekali untuk bikin aku seneng, nyaman, dan aman.

Puncaknya waktu aku lahiran kaliyak, operasi caesar yang bikin aku gak berdaya banget bikin aku rasanya mau nangis dan bersyukur sekali karena suamiku adalah pria inii. Dia sabar banget untuk nemeninn, bantu aku duduk, bantu nyisir rambut, bantu makan, bantu jalan, dan bantu segala hal yang aku bahkan gak mikir aku akan butuh bantuan dia waktu itu.

Huu operasi caesar ternyata berat yaa pemulihannyaa, lebih karena aku ga suka jadi ga berdaya wkwk.

Waktu awal menyusui dia juga sabar sekali ngadepin aku yang sering nangiss. Dia bisa nenangin tanpa bikin aku ngerasa di hakimi atau di salahkan gituu. Yaampuun, ternyata aku mencintai orang yg tepat sejak SMA yaa, pinter banget aku wkwk.

I Love You Papa Ar, makasih pokoknya. Kamu selalu jadi yg terbaik di mata aku dan Ar, semoga selalu begitu yaa 💙 hihii dia kapan baca ini jugakk gak tauu wkwkwk

[convergentmedia]

Sister's birthday surprises🎂🥳

Ujjain trip🤗🤗

Hello guys welcome back so today I am very excited so I want to share my happiness with you guys actually tomorrow my sister's birthday so we are planning to celebrate her birthday in Ujjain the famous places.there are famous temples there and I am very excited. Today we all are going and offcourse we organise something some surprises .I hope she will love and never forget. I hope and pray for this trip will become so memorable for my sister and for everyone.

Now I want to say something about my sister on her birthday first happy birthday my sister in advance and lots of blessings for your future, you will achieve everything in your life and you will become a successful doctor and fullfill our dream specially for papa .yaa ...I love you so much and always pray to God that u always keep smile.❤️❤️

[alterumnivers]

Kalau mau jujur, kehidupan Miya dan Mikail mulai berantakan. Mereka gak ngerti kenapa Bayi makin hari makin jadi aja separation anxiety-nya. Terutama setiap ditinggal Mikail kerja. Akhir-akhir ini Mikail banyak keluar rumah. Meeting buat Joyland Bali lah, jadi penanggung jawab pameran lah, ditambah project sebagai art director buat salah satu film di production house. Lalu, Miya... Aduh.. Cewek itu mengenaskan deh. Dia cuma bisa mandi pagi dan sarapan yang buru-buru karena direcokin Bayi.

Bayi tuh kalau liat Mikail di rumah malah gangguin Miya yang lagi beraktivitas. Giliran Mikail siap-siap mau pergi, nangis deh gak mau ditinggal. Begitu juga sebaliknya, kalau Miya yang pergi dia bakal nangis meraung-raung. Maunya bapak-ibu asuhnya ini ada di rumah terus nemenin dia main.

"Gak bisa dong, Bayi, makan apa nanti kamu kalau papanya gak boleh berangkat kerja? Hm?"

Sekarang, omelan-omelan kaya gitu jadi bagian keseharian rumah mereka. Rumah yang tadinya tenang dan selalu bisa rapi, udah jadi cerita masa lalu. Bayi jago merangkak dan berantakin apa aja yang ada di jangkauannya. Tempo hari eyeshadow pallet Miya jadi korban. Kemarin lego pajangan Mikail hancur.

"Bayi, main cat air lagi ya? Lukis lukis lagi sama mama ya? Nanti papa pulang baru main lagi sama papa oke? Mi, aku udah telat keburu macet banget jalanan. Aku tinggal gak apa-apa?"

Gak mau. Rasanya Miya mau mohon-mohon biar Mikail gak pergi, tapi kan gak mungkin. Jadi dia cuma bisa ngangguk pasrah dan berusaha lepasin genggaman tangan Bayi dari kerah baju Mikail.

"Maaf ya sayang. Kalau udah beres aku langsung pulang. Janji. I love you"

Cowok yang selalu rapi dan fashionable itu nyium kening pacarnya sekilas sebelum pergi.

"Udah dong, Bayi, nangisnya. Sedih banget kenapa deh hmm. Kita telpon onti Ruru yaa, atau onki Kevin? Bayi mau main sama siapa? Cup.. cup... Ssstt... Capek, sayang, kalau nangis terus"

Hari itu Miya diselamatkan oleh bantuan teman-temannya yang dateng dan ramein rumah.

© nulisinisilun part of story #MiyaMikail_dumpdumb

[hilangdi-larakelabu]

Makasih yaa sudah berjuang, maaf yaa belum sesuai harapan. Habis ini bangkit dan bahagia yaa pelan pelan nggak papa, i love you

[awck]

Thank you -P E N T A G O N

Go ahead, and put anything.

so i want a tell you about my yesterday ..

After 3 years ago, my fist love come to me again lewat DM Instagram. Jadi, memang sebelumnya aku sering tulis first love ku di tweet maupun di tumblr ini. Nama nya juga frst love, just a sharing aja yaa .. dan setelah 3 tahun dia ng DM aku, dia bilang udah lama cari instagram aku pasca aku dan dia ga komunikasi lagi. Rasaya tuh, jadi inget perasaaan aku waktu dia punya cewe tapi aku di mainin perasaan itu muncul lagi, dan hari-hari ku cukup di buat bengong lohh ..

setela perasaan itu muncul lagii, aku berusaha ng fokusin lagi. Pasalnya dia ng DM aku bilang minta maaf. Jelas aku ingat betul kala itu di percakapan terakkhir kita dia juga mintaa maaf atas apa yang telah di lakukanya tehadapku. Lalu kali ini pun setelah 3 tahun lamanya dia kembali lagi dan bilang minta maaf lagi, serta dia bilang maaf karena pernah menyakiti perasaanku kala itu. Sebenarya aku memang sudah melupakan nya bahkan aku lupa rupa wajahnya dan sudah ku serahkan segala sakit hatiku pada sang Pencipta, karena apapun yang terjadi di dalam hidupku sama dengan kau berurusan dengan Penciptaku.

Kemudian ketika ku menceritakan nya kepada teman-teman ku mereka pun menghujatnya cukup tajam hahaha aku salut pada teman-temanku yang menguatkan ku kala itu dan mendukung penuh aku untuk tidak berkomunikasi lagi dengan dia. Namun, aku juga mengakui dia sangat laki karena dia mengakui kesalahanya dan tetap datang padaku dengan niat yang baik, meskipun dengan seribu alasan nya. Tidak papa, karena aku sudah mengikhlaskan atas segala sesuatu yang terjadi dalam hidupku dan tak lupa ku serahkan pada Penciptaku.

Karena nya pun aku banyak belajar mengenai perasaanku dan aku jadi mahir dalam percintaan, hanya saja kala itu aku memang belum dewasa pada keadaan.

[alescience]

Wave Studio 88

writer. Hal yang paling bikin aku bahagia itu kalau aku lihat orang sekitar aku tersenyum. especially mama papa, jalan sama mereka even cuma ke mall atau jalan tanpa tujuan kalau sama mereka berdua tuh happy aja! oiya, aku anak tunggal jadi ngga ada siblings hehehe.

aku suka banyak stage tapi karena aku sibuk jadi belum pernah ikutan secara proper stagenya WS88 :( i love every schedule of WS88!

makanan kesukaan aku sayur sih, ngga ada yang spesifik tapi selama ada sayurnya yaa enak enak aja, alasannya karena sehat dan enak. minuman ituuu selain air mineral, ada susu dan matcha. aku juga suka kopi! kalau ngantuk bisa lebih cepet tidurnya abis minum kopi.

you did well! semoga kalian bisa bahagia selalu dan dijauhkan dari segala hal elek yang ada di dunia! @ setiap directors yang lihat write as ini.

a. backburner, chilly, odds, urs - niki b. bohongi hati - mahalini raharja

diatas yaaa!

https://youtu.be/OlCx3qTqG7Y?si=hhwSWEzUmAR6HcC5

Heyyy, keren banget masih hidup dan gak pernah nyerah sejauh ini. makasih banyak yaa! semoga bahagia dan terus terus dikasih ikhlas dan sabar sekarung. jangan lupa buat terus berdoa yaaa.

kalian keren banget, nothing to say except thanks udah terima aku di WS88 YA! makasih udah sabar karena aku jarang on karena luar biasa sibuk diluar ekspektasi. makasih banyak. <3

[icalalebesfriend]

hii my georgeous icaall, so today is ur birthday right? hepi besdey tuyul hepi besdey tuyul hepi besdey hepi besdey hepi besdey tuyul. tiuupp lilinnya yeay!! thanks for living ya icall, ur existence is really matter to people around you. u're really the definition of the most kindness human being that i've ever know. makasi icall udah lahir dan bertahan sejauh ini, dan juga udah bersedia jd temennya ale.

huff for sure its my first time to making a tumblr, but i try as best as i can to makes your birthday really memorable, and you can remind creature named "ale" for long timee. im really proud to be your bestfriend ical, and i want to be always being ur friends, can i? mauu ucapin makasih ke tuhan yme karena dia udah bikin ical lahir ke dunia, thanks juga buat mama papa icall karena udah besarin anak sekeren dan sebaik icall, ur son was gifted for people around him, om tante!! dia keren bangettt. u both must really happy to have icall in life.

okee jadi call i know this is your bittersweet seventeen, 17 will be so hard for you cal, u get more obstacle than last year, big responsibility, u bring new heavy bag in ur hands right know. jadi tegakinn punggungnya and step forward quitely ya, keep going and u can break the world. whatever happens in future i hope u can always through it and survive ur new adventure. icall yg ale tau selalu bisa tenang menyikapi smua masalah yang ada and i hopee will always be.

keep being positive and sweet seoul ya ical, spread your happiness to us. anw im really happy everytime u telling me about all of ur story, about something that bothering ur mind, and i hope u will always believe in me ya, cause im very happy of being trusted by you. intinyaa dont feel alone cause u have me, i can be your 911. a good listener need a listener too, jadi jgn di simpen sendirian please. kalo bukan ke ale bisa ke yg lain jugaa, ada bff yg super sayang ical, trus ada mami helen juga, there's a lott people yang sayang icall.

humm okayy wishnya, smogaa smua yang icall pengen tercapai ya walaupun bukan sekarang, bahagia teruss dan senyum terus, sekolahnya makin pinter, dikit sedih sedihnya, makinn kerenn, and many other wishes lahh, icaall sebutin aja nantii ale bantu aamiinin, and last one is smoga bisaa balikan sama mantan yang kamu gamonin itu hihi >.<

udaah kayanyaa yaa itu aja, i cant think clearly about what sould i write here again🙍🏻‍♂️🙍🏻‍♂️ oke terakhir kali mau ingetin ajasi in case ical lupa, kalo sbnernya ale tuhh SAYAANGGG BANGETT sama ical tapi as a friend kok. if something happens to us and we dont talk anymore, i hope you know that u've ever being ale's favorite bestfriend, i am real and i really love you icaall.

with love,

ale risjad

[tomdiddlyumptious]

YES MA’AM- REQUESTS ARENT OPEN AT THE MOMENT I HAVE SOME TO FINISH AND ILL OPEN THEM BACK UP!

Summary: he makes it up 🥸

Warnings: soft smut? Language, acting drunk to leave, a jealous Tom holland, NOT PROOF READ

A/n: SORRY THIS TOOK ME SOOO LONG, I WAS LIKE MENTALLY PANICING AND WASNT IN THE RIGHT HEAD SPACE

T.H| Oop-

“I mean am I sleeping over though? Because I didn’t get these chocolate cakes for no reason, zendaya” you eye your phone. “Yes we will have a marathon of Harry Potter” you let out a little ‘yes’ “stop cheering y/n, and Toms gonna be there” “as in...” “yes. Tom holland, impossible tom holland” “REEEEE” you and zendaya have been best friends for what felt like foreverrr, like dramatically long, you played as one of her love interests.

But you’ve had a crush on Tom holland for longer, you had him on your wall, just kidding. But everyone in your family, mostly your mom said “oh you like snow flakes?” “Interracialllllll” “alright give me my privileged babies soon” “damn I kinda took you for the Asian type” “yeah I thought you liked BTS” “UK accents is hella annoyin, find someone else” “would you stop hoggin the TV? I���m tryna watch American Top Model!” “Nah let’s watch basesketball-“ anyways, ya you have annoying, irritating family, oh well.

“You think he likes dark skinned type?” “He likes girls with aggressive tans I know that much” “that isn’t helpful” “hey I’m just being honest” she shrugged looking at you through the phone as she picked up her makeup brush. “So what are gonna do for your birthday?” “I-uhhhh probably clubbing?” “As in golf?” “No, party y/n” she glared at you as you chuckled.

“Please ask hunter when we are getting married” “y/n, I know you have an insane crush on her to but it’s just never gonna happen, she’s mine” you stuck out your tongue at her as she did the same chanting “she’s mine, she’s mine” “whatever I need to get ready” “bye papas” “bye mamas” you hung up, instantly going to your closet and pulling out the dresses you have, only to put them back and grab a two piece, it’s neon yellow, the pants are high waisted, no belt, the top stopping right below your boob, the straps at the end of your collar bone.

For accessories you put on some black dangle earrings and a black purse, a gold but matching watch, but you put on sandals, no high heels because the pants were covering your feet anyways, for your hair you put on your wet and wavy lace front, you added lip gloss to your lips, and they look like glass, in a good way of course, the fox eyeliner with thick parted eyelashes and a neon eyeshadow with it. You brushed your eyebrows up and boom your done.

You stepped back and went to your full body mirror, checking your butt and your boobs, smiling at yourself “you look fine” you sigh, grabbing your bag, phone, and keys.

You phone rung and you answered. “Yes z?” “Are you picking me up?” “Yeah sure babe, I’ll be there soon” “alright bye” she hung up. Luckily for you, you just got your 1966 mustang, vibrant white baby, everyone would wanna touch your car, you named him KAI, stands for kiss ass ight. The License plate saying “white ssn”. (I’m sorry but I really like these old kinds of cars, I fucking had to) you hoped in your car and drove to dayas home, you picked her and her brother up, just listening to old 2000’s and 1900s songs, either rapping or singing your asses off.

You guys were there pretty early but of course you were, it’s her birthday, she didn’t want to dance yet because of her makeup and you felt the same, leaving her brother smacking his lips and eyes glued to his phone.

Now everyone was starting to come, hunter, Jacob, alexia, Barbie, everyone, and most importantly, Thomas Stanley holland. No cap you bout dead as fuck, did I mention you run on Red Bull’s? Just kidding. You remained calm, hugging hunter and talking to her. “Hey” zendaya said, grabbing your hand and pulling you up, pulling you to Tom. “Hi Thomas, this is y/n” “the one and only?” He laughed, making you both giggle. “Yeah” she nodded, Tom got up, opening his arms and she pinched you, silently telling you to hug him. And you did, taking a breath you smelled him, he smelled really good, sexy and musky, like something you’d want to smell all day.

“You smell nice” Tom whispered. “Yeah you too” you smiled, pulling back from his hands as he nodded at you and sat back down, you looked and zendaya as she silently cheered, you walked back over to hunter and ordered something to drink. “So you and Tom?” She asked, you only rolled your eyes. “You know I’ve had a crush on him for years now but I don’t think I’ll be making any progress” you thanked the person as they handed you the cheerily temple. “Whattt? This is your chance to get drunk and confess your feelings, like wake up in the morning with him” you smacked your lips at her “girl I don’t know, and I wouldn’t want him to forget what happend” you shrugged. She put her hand on your shoulder making you look at her “take a shot, before zendaya pressures the fuck out of you both” she warns, making you sigh and throw yourself back in the seat.

“I know and that’s the problem, I don’t think-“ “you’ve had a crush in him for years y/n, you can make this a reality, you don’t have to dream anymore” zendaya whispered in your ear “I told you” hunter smiled. “Fuck stop smiling at me like that, you’re gonna make me fall in love all over again” you said making them both laugh. “Okay Cupid what’s your plan?” “Don’t worry bout it alright girl?” “Alright”

“Harrison fuck off it’ll happen when it happens” “well it seems like she’s bored, I’ll go entertain her” “don’t you fuckin dare haz, I’ll beat the shit out of you” instead of haz getting up Harry did, he walked over to you and sat down next to you, the lights and music booming as he took out his camera. “Hey” he smiled at you. “Hi, I’m-“ “y/n, yeah I know, I’m Toms brother, Harry” he held out his hand and you took it. “I thought you looked really beautiful- I was just wondering if you wanted to take a few pictures?” “Oh I’m not the picture type” “pleaseee?” He beggged, you giggled and nodded. “Alright” he took a few pictures of you as Tom stared at you.

“He’s tottaly gonna get instead of you” Harrison whispered in his ear, making Thomas slap his arm “shut up div, I’m just gonna wait here and I’ll see what happens” he told haz his game plan, no progress. Zendaya walked over “I know you like y/n, please hit on her, you both would look so good together, you’d bring me smoll Bebes-“ “Jesus zendaya we get it” Tom rolls his eyes as haz lets out distant chuckles.

“This is so awkward, he doesn’t like me and-“ you sighed. “Oh my god, you never give up so easily y/n, what’s wrong you’ve liked him since preteens” hunter asked in all seriousness. “Are you talking about Tom?” Harry asks, both of you looking at him and letting out a way to fast “no” leaving Harry in giggles. “Well I wish I could help you but I don’t know anything” he shrugs, you soon see Tom make his way over to you, standing infront of you. He clears his throat to say something big but only lets out an-

“Hey” you wave back at him, hunter silently cringing, feeling the tension able to cut it with a butter knife. “Your so fücked” Harry laughed, Tom glaring at him but smiling back at you. “Uhm, how’s your day?” “To be honest I’m having a bit of anxiety right know” you both laughed “me too, yeah” he nods his head. “Look you don’t have to really speak to me if you don’t want to” you laughed “I think we both know-“ “zendaya” you both said. Hunter looked at Harry, panicking for you as you remained calm. “Okay- yeah- thanks” he smiled, as you returned, he walked off.

“You fucked up” “well what was I supposed to do Harry? Suck his dick?-“ “it would’ve made some progress” “shut up hunter” “I feel awkward for you” “second hand emarrassment hunter” “well you knew what I meant Harry so we are all good” you looked at them both “I’m fucked” they just both agree with you. “I think I’m gonna go” “then I’m coming!” Hunter said. “How are you gonna leave zendaya?” You only picked up his beer can, winking at him and hunter ‘helped’ you out.

“Woah woah woah where are you two going?” Zendaya asked, the shit in her hand as she looked confused. “She’s drunk” “whattttt no I’m nottt” zendaya looked at you as your eyes were barely opened, taking your finger and pushing it against hunters lips dramatically. “Let me tell yaa E sevret” you whispered at zendaya, you came close to her ear, “I’m so naw dunk” “you drunk, get out of here, Tom will give me a ride” zendaya waved you both off, Harry soon running up “let me get your number at least, yeah?” “Sureeeee” you wink at him, he hands you a pen and you write your number, a nice happy face next to it.

“Let’s get you home, nice show you out on” you took your time, trying to look drunk as possible. “My whole life is madness! I can’t- he doesn’t like me I promise you” you say, pulling out of the parking lot, hunter right next to you. “He does, let’s bet on it” “how much?” “200” “shake on it?” She handed you her hand and you shook it. “SOMETIMES YOU LAUGH SOMETIMES YOU CRY I GUESS YOU KNOW NOWWW, I TOOK THE HALF AND SHE TOOK THE WHOLE THING SLOW DOWNN” you both sung together “BABY” you both both failed the note, laughing together as you rode both of you home.

“She left” zendaya shruged, “what why?” “Shes black out drunk” Tom put his eyebrows together, he was litterally with you like a couple minutes ago, sober as hell. “Yeah... alright” he nodded, Harry took out his phone and sent you a simple hey, which you returned under a minute later.

Everyone had a lot of fun, you and hunter ordering some random stuff off of Amazon and making the cake that you would both send to zendaya the next day, on the other side everyone danced and drank, they were sober enough to go eat at least. “Who are you texting?” Tom asked Harry. “Y/n, she’s showing me the things that she’s ordering or something like that, I wonder why she’s a Harry Potter addict” toms jaw slightly clenched, “can I see?” He asked, Harry looked at him, forgetting that you’re supposed to be ‘drunk’ “Nah mate, she’s drunk texting me though” “bulshit, give me the phone” Harry sighed as he gave tom the phone, scrolling through the text messages the messages were alive, not dead at all, no lols, laughing emojis, more ‘lmao’ ‘AKDIHDIHFRJRFN-‘ ‘I- what? Okay-‘ he couldn’t help but be jealous, he handed Harry back the phone.

“What’s wrong?” Harry asked, looking at Tom confused. “You know I like her” “it didn’t seem like it back there” Harry smirked. “Do you like her?” Tom asked, Harry only shook his head “all for you, just making conversation and trying to pull her closer” “whattt Harry got the digits and you didn’t?” Haz whispered, “fuck off”

“But this is like, really ugly” “that’s why it’s called an ugly Christmas sweater, y/n” you layer on her arm, looking at Kohl’s, “green for sure, red is just plain” “how about we get like onzies of animals or the incredibles” hunter looked at you “perfect, yeah” you nod ferociously.

You checked your phone and saw some messages, from you dad and you mom but also Harry, you were quick to answer them all, and as the night got old you had finished the cake.

“I don’t know mate do some research on her, watch her interviews” haz suggests as they were all home, Tom mentally panicking because Harry’s eyes was glued to his phone, he whipped out his computer and searched your name, ‘Y/N has a CRUSH on who?’ He bit his lip and clicked it

“Sooo, we know your the romantic type- so who were you in love with?” The interviewer said, you smiled and shook your head. “I’ve always had a crush on Evan peters, algee smith from let it shine, Keith powers, and of course Tom holland, I don’t know but just in all his movies he was the cutest thing” you giggled, putting a leg over the other. “That’s a lot of people” “hey, I only crush on one now, and yes it’s Tom holland” the girl raised her eyebrows at the camera “you make sure you hit her up” “please do” you wink at the camera, “now, you feel sexy most when?” “Probably when I take a shower and put on my silk robe” you shrugged.

“Silk? Sexy” Tom smiled to himself, imagining you in it, maybe a towel over your freshly washed hair, lingerie under, maybe a mustard yellow to match your skin, his eyes widened in shock as he felt uncomfterble in his pants, he looked down at his pants “fuck, not now!”

“Are you really crying?” Hunter asked. “No I’m having an emotional roller coaster” “so your feeling different emotions, your so bipolar” hunter laughs, “your not helping you know” she only shrugged at you, then the door was knocked on “I’ll go get it” “alright” you acted sleep, thinking that it was probably zendaya and... you were right. “Hey is she sleep?” She asked, hugging hunter. “yeah, but come in- she’s on the couch” hunter smiled, hearing zendayas foot steps and she giggled “she’s sober by now” she bent down, wiggling your ear and you couldn’t help but laugh.

“Hiiiii” she waved at you, you only waved back, then she laid down next to you, her glasses on and in her sweatpants and a black t-shirt. “So you and Tom didn’t work huh?” She whispered and you only shook your head no, a tear fell down your cheek as she coed at you, wiping it away. “He’s stupid, he will come around one day yeah?” You nodded at her, “did you make the cake?” She asked and you nodded again. “Let me show you, come here” hunter said, she looked at you, you looked pretty lifeless at the moment honestly. Hunter and zendaya left and you checked your phone.

Ding

Your eyebrows furrowed at the anonymous message. You opened it and it said-

Hey it’s Tom, I was wondering if you’d like to get lunch yeah?

You texted him back-

As In... Tom holland orrrr...

Tom smiled at his phone

Yes y/n, Tom holland here, take it while you can

Cocky asshat

He laughed at your reply sending winking emojis,

Yeah lunch, I’ll see what I can do

Cya love

Bye luv

As time passed Tom looked at your work, your charity events, your women’s rights, your debates, your everything. He grew more interest then he already did, already wishing to work with you. “Hamburgers? What if she’s vegan, fuck” he only searched up what food you like, “burrito truck?” He could tell you weren’t like the other people with loaded of money, you were more of the cheap rich, not a bad thing but a very good one. “Sparkling water? That doesn’t really go with burritos, she doesn’t like cheese by it’s self or where you can taste it over anything, she sticks to the basics, god I need a pen and paper for this” “I got it, lover boy” Harry says, throwing it at him.

“Hey your the one who’s trying to take her away from me” “no that’s not true, I was trying to help you actually, her favorite color is (y/f/c) she likes nature or a big view of the city, beach sometimes, she actually wants a beach house” he shrugged, Tom smiled and thanked him, writing some things down

-nature, somewhere green for lunch

-quiet too, somewhere not to public

-sparkling water for sure, no burritos though

“Shit I don’t know, chicken or something!” Tom struggled.

-fruits, nuts, macoroons, nuts, wine

He smiled at the ugly written bullet points, “aha” he then took his phone, biting his lips as he tried to find the perfect place.

“He asked me to lunch last night” you smiled, hunter and zendaya looked at each other, mouths agape as they laughed. “Really? Oh my god y/n can I be the god mom?” “Oh I’ll be the god dad all the way!” Hunter added as you laughed and shook your head, you’ve been on a Harry Potter marathon all night, now your on a Star Wars one, so many tears fell of your face, you cried for draco, zendaya cried for George and Fred, hunter cheered on voldermort, which almost got her kicked out, how petty.

“What if it’s only lunch?” You asked, looking at hunter and zendaya. “I mean, yeah it is only lunch” hunter shrugged making zendaya slap her arm. “No it isn’t, you are probably gonna get laid and he’s gonna confess his love to youuu, then you both naked and kissing” “ew don’t make me imagine that” hunter shuddered, sticking out her tongue. “Welp we are staying here when you leave” “how do you know I won’t be back?” “Because I know things”

Tom spent his day visiting places, until he found the perfect one, green and the ocean? Best thing ever. It was pretty too, no plastic, no damage to the ground, the ocean is to be heard, perfect for you and Tom. He texted you to get ready, it was about 6, he bought everything he needed for it, put the ice cream in the cooler with ice in it.

“Alright, this one” hunter held up a dress, a small slit but it was a sweater dress, like for the fall or winter, it’s white with brown buttons that go down to the end of your stomach, the dress stops in the middle of your thighs. “Then wear some comfterble shoes please, we don’t want you to run your toes” zendaya said, pulling out some neon yellow huaraches. “That doesn’t match” hunter said, zendaya put the shoes back and pulled out some dark dark black ones.

You got dressed, comfterble for sure, zendaya flat ironed your hair while hunter did your makeup, “alright” zendaya and hunter admired their art, high giving each other before turning you to the mirror, “don’t worry it’s sweat resistant” hunter said, zendaya laughed as you rolled your eyes shaking your head. Then of course their was a knock on your door. “I’ll get it” zendaya said, you went to your room and grabbed your phone, noticing you have no pockets you held it. “Keep your hands off of my girlfriend, have fun though!” Zendaya said, your eyebrows furrowed in confusion as you came out and seen everyone smiling at you

“What happened?” You asked as everyone shook their head. “Nothing!” Hunter said smiling at you, Tom came up and gave you flowers, not roses but daises “you look lovely” he says, giving you a hug, chest to chest, pelvis to pelvis, not in a Percy way of course, just a very friendly and close hug. “Can you put these in a vase for me?” You say, handing the flowers to hunter as she only smiled and made her way to the kitchen. “Have fun, once again, we want her back by 10” “that’s only 4 hours zendaya” “we’ll make your way over there, it’s starting to become late” “alright mother, we’re out” you sarcastically say, leaving Tom laughing as he takes your hand and pulls you to his-

“El Camino!?” You said, practicly smiling a a child when they get ice cream. “Yep, I know how much you like old cars so why not get you one right?” He squeezed your hand. “Oh I could so kiss you right now!” “I wanna save it for later, let’s go” he smiled at you, he pulled you to your seat and opened the door for you, you sat down and he closed it, running to his side and getting in. “Your pretty fast” “shut up” he laughed and started the car, Kendrick Lamar playing in the background as you both rode in the city.

It was silent but comfterble, you slipped your phone in the cup holder, played footsie with yourself, and almost shook when he placed his hand on your thigh, you looked at him and he smiled at you “warm” he only said, paying attention to the road, rocking his hand back and forth.

“I love this, you gave me all the things I love tonight” you smiled. “You now at the birthday party I didn’t show that I liked you” he commented, laying in his stomach ontop of the very large blanket as you sat with your legs closed. “Yeah I don’t think you like me... I know if it’s weird and-“ “what no I like you! I do! I’m just stupid, like zendaya would say, so” you both giggled as he sat up and grabbed a grape vine, it has grapes on it by the way. “Lay down” he smiled, and you followed, laying down. “I’ve seen all the work you’ve done” he smiled, the radio in the band Toto playing, Africa currently playing. He leaned down the grape and feed it to you and you chuckled. “I really like how dedicated you are, how hard working you are, how nice you are, everything about you is beautiful” he complemented, the moon popping out for the ocean, the sounds of water slapping the rocks calming the both of you.

“Well thank you” you say, done with the grapes he fed you, he fed you some more. “I bought ice cream” “what kind?” “Uhmmmm, not vanilla, cookies and cream!” “Doesn’t that have vanilla in it?” You looked at him, he shrugged and put the grapes down and took the ice cream out of the freezer “I didn’t know you were such a 80s fan, what would you bring back?” He asked you. “Probably all the color, the music, I love mullets and shags I just love it all, how everything was in fashion, freedom and dumb teenagers and yelling old people, ya know?” “So your a very detailed person?” “Yeah, I don’t pay attention to the big picture that much if I’m being honest” ‘it never rains in Southern California, by tony’ playing, now the moon full on display, he grabbed two spoons and handed it to you, you both grabbed a scoop. “Let’s try something”

“Like what?” “Cross my arm with yours yeah?” You wrapped your arm around his, your spoon facing you “and 3” he said, taking the ice cream in his mouth as you followed, giggling “I like the flavor” you covered your mouth. “See! I knew what I was talking about, and doing!” He cheered, you both laid side by side and looked at the view, still eating the ice cream of course, until he put his lips on yours. “I really like you y/n, I hope-“ you put your lips on his, holding onto his cheek you smiled into it, he made his hand go down to hold onto your waist, the moon shining on both of you, he flipped both of you over so he was on top, you let out a quiet moan as he kissed your neck and slipped up you dress, taking off your panties, you trailed your hands down to the hem of his shirt and pulled it up, rubbing over his torso, moaning as he found your sweet spot, kissing it and sucking harsh circles on your neck, he sat up and helped you take of his shirt, unbuckling his pants and taking off the belt to where ever.

He unbuttoned your dress, taking out your breasts and sucking on one of them, you whimpered as he twisted the other, your hands making it to his hair and tugging a bit making him hum in satisfaction. He switched nipples and looked up at you, you head was thrown back, breathing heavy and he opened your legs, you bucked your hips up allowed him to pull your dress up and over your head, he ditched his pants, well not really, there still around his ankles and both of your shoes are off, how? I don’t know. He came up and you leaned on your arm while the other was on his cheek, your lips hovering his, he muttered a ‘ready’ you nodded and he bottomed out in you, both moaning at the sensation, he kissed you and rocked his hips, you moaned as his hands found your waist, holding onto his bicep for support. Soft moans shared “y/n, fuck your so tight” he whispered in your neck and you whimpered, clawing his arm as he went harder, still slow though,

“Tommy, I’m gonna-“ you swallowed, bucking your hips up and arching your back, he rubbed your hips and held on tighter to them. He groaned and started going fast, high pitched moans leaving your lips as he stopped going hard, “cum for me” he let one hip go and rubbed your pearl slowly. “God- mm” you bit your lip trapping the moans, your head tilting back as he used it to suck more hickies on you, claiming you as you just took it all in, your head slowly starting coming up, leaving cries as your arm circled his around his arm, your back arching more, connecting chests as you said his name like a prayer while you came “fuck fuck fuck” he moaned, so close, your walls to warm to leave. “You on the pill?” He choked out. You repeated ‘mhm’ and just like that he came inside you, your name left his mouth as he rode out both of your highs, breathing heavy as a new song played ‘ask of you’ by Raphael, you both chuckled as he pressed his forehead on yours.

“Would you be my-“ “I think you know the answer Thomas, this is my 12 dream right here” you giggled. He pulled out and rolled over next to you, taking his arm and wrapping it around your shoulders, pulling you into his chest “your moans are adorable, we have to have sex more often” you only laughed at him, coming up to kiss his neck on his sweet spot, his jawline under his ear, sucking hickies on his neck as he looked at the water that the moon is glistening on. You both cleaned up with his baby wipes and covered yourselves with the extra blanket he had, he poured you both a glass on wine too, just taking each other in and the perfect view.

On the other side zendaya and hunter were high giving each other, FaceTiming Harry and saying “we got em!” He smiled and cheered, lifting his beer with Harrison and taking a sip. They set it all up, how? Who knows.

[necakkk]

Jumat, 2 Oktober 2020 (Pt. 2)

Omggg tau gasih padahal aku pikir tuh dari kmrn2 udh ke upload gt pt2 nya ec kemarin tuh udh muncul gt pas ak baru upload😭 ok gpppp. Jadii ak mau melunasi hutangku di-cerita-yang-udah-lama-bgt krn sesungguhnya kmrn (pas aku pikir ke-upload) tuhh ak dah excited bgtt lg bikin cerita ttg book jd pengen kelarin yg ini😭😭🥺 tp yauda gapapa. Oiya btww ini aku baru kelas ngerjain tugas, trus blm bisa 😴 jd yawda mari qt menulish👍🏻

Notes: feel free untuk 🤯🤢🤮

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Abis itu yahh (again aku lupa hari apa) aku company tante sama om ke rs emc buat ikut ketemu my doccc (yqng padahal aku blm ketemu jg before cuma liat beliau doang ngajar di gmeet🥺 tp aku nyaranin tante buat konsul sama beliau, trus ends up tante sm beliau udh kaya long-lost-friend gtt🥺) terusssss aku diajakin liat beliau ngelakuin pemeriksaan histereskopi demiapapunnn it’s super amazinggg😭 dan abis itu kaya dijelasin dll kan truss aku ga habis pikir kek how come beliau super pinter pusingg kayaa apayaa aku super happy denger dan liatnya😭😭🥺. Tapi dari hsil px tuh tuba tante cuma ada 1, jadi harus px lanjutan besoknyaa. Jadi tau gasih kaya yg di one side aku super excitedd dan happy bgtt karena abis liat procedure yg aku gapernah kebayang (also aku baru denger, yg pernah aku denger itu prosedur histerektomi🥺), tapi on the other side aku lyk miserable gt. Idk how to react sejujurnya.. terus besoknya aku disuruh ikutt lgg buat liat another examination kan lebih banyak gtt, but I should go home dat day jd kaya yaudah smgg one day lg yhaa:’) teruss tbhhh ini kaya super-duperr-inner-thoughts ku sih kaya tiap ganti blok tuh cita-cita kaya auto nambah/ganti gt. Kek waktu blok endocrine, digestive, cardio, his dlll mikir ipd awesome, trus ini blok repro mikir obgynn jgg sgt helpfull bgt gt kaya kamu ngikutin journey mom-dad waiting for their 👼🏻 and u’re the one yg bantu delivering it kek, also kamu jd the first ppl yg lookin at newborn’s eyes🥺isn’t it very beautiful😭🥺(even the fact ga sesederhana itu dan ga melulu tentang 🤰🏻). Tapi aku gatau tbtb galau sendiri..... kek aku mikir dan ngomong gini aja takut gtt karena sebenernya masih panjang bgtt, tapi ya I shud prepare dr skrg tho (+being ga denial..). Terus aku jd mikir kek aku bakal jadi apa yaa beberapa taun lagi, apakah I’ll be great doc? Ya u shud ca😈. Doain aku ya apapun jalannya? Iya. Oke, makasih👼🏻🙏🏻

Oiyaa terusss grgr aku di reminding-in bout books, aku jd inget lg how muchh I love books😭 (sebenernya love sih, tapi kayanya masih tahap like, tapi am crazy of it jadi gatau ini bisa called love apa ga😭) in this past few months aku sampe lupaa dan ga kepikiran samsek buat baca apapaaa. Sumpahh tp kayaa am super happy for no reason (sebenernya ada reason tapi kek happynya bisa alay gituloh) idk why😭😭 kaya alay bgt yaAllah ak😭😭. Terusss aku jadi kaya crazy gurl nyari buku kan. I got one book and an ebook dan aku superr happyy. Terus pas dah balik ke Solo, aku cari-cari kan dimana I can hunting good books yang funn, teruss aku ga sengaja baca twt orgg dia abis hunting di dkt masjid agung gt. Terus yaa I decided to go theree sm raraaa. I had sOoo much fun. Scan-read buku2 yang bahkan judulnya kamu gapernah denger. Drowning di lautan buku, meanwhile kamu gapunya tujuan pasti mo cari buku apa. Just you and the books (+ibu/bapaknya yg jualan), it’s awesome🥺. Terus kayaa time jalannya cepet bgtt, ak masi lyk michin-yeoja liat ini itu, adek aku bored😭😭 terus dia ngajak balik, tapi ksian juga si dia ga baca apaapa tapi jadi tumbal nemenin ak😭 terus yauda kita go homee and I adopt some books, padahal sampe hari ini aku blm baca semua😭 kek awalnya aku agak penasaran sama filosofi teras tapi blm jadiii, but maybe soon ok. (Update 2okt: aku udhh ada bukunyaa, tapi sayang sekaliw baru baca depannya). Ok. dann terrnyataa when aku busy with my things, my sissy took some pics there, and it’s awesome

So lemme sisipin appreciation tag, thanku for reminding this animesia gurl bout b00kz🙏🏻

Trustrusss abis itu pada suatu hari, galama aku deciding to sepedaan by myself. Kekkkk u knowoww pertama kali sepedaan aku jg happy bgt udh kek org gila😭 tbh aku takut (ga bgt, b aja sebenernya) dikira org gila krn smile sendiri😭 tp untung ada masker kan jadi ya minimize risk di judge org🙏🏻 tau gasih level happynya tuh sampe aku ngomong loudly-sama aku sendiri (ga di dalem hati) “aku happyy”😭 udh sakit ni org, tp gapapa lah yg penting aku happy ok🥺 proud of u. OIYAA trus aku took bbrp pic jgg karena gatau ambiencenya enak aja, langitnya bagus, kek mereka bekerja sama mendukung ak semakin happy😭🥺 ni aku kasi liat gambarnya

Tbh lagi, aku gatau sih knp kebanyakan fotonya pas di kraton..

Trus tau gasih in the last sepedaan time ku aku mampir smansa buat ketemu pak bandi dan itu kaya ada interconnection gt bs pas bgt ketemu (padahal +tragedi puter balik karena kepikiran mau ketemu)🥺🥺 kekkkkkkk omg am complete, terus aku mampir spensa (ini makin aneh sih) terus gaada siapasiapa.. (adasih tapi aku gatau) jadi yaudah I go home trs pas aku masih happy, sampe rumah ada tragedy yg bikin ak miserable dan sedih bgttt (tapi galama) terus papa janji ga lagi, then post itu papa jd gaenak badan kan 1mgg-an, makanya jgn aneh2😡😭 (tp aku ngerasa berdosa, apa papa jadi kualat sama aku? Bs gt gasih😭😭 maafin nesa pap krn ak just wish yg the best😭) tp alhamdulillahnya udh membaik🖤

Terus yaudahh itu dulu aja aku ceritanya krn ini uda banyak bgtt kaya udh jadi draft novel:(( sorry for the (agak) sad ending di storynya🥺 tp gapapa kan hidup pasti balance kek powerbalance jaman sd⭕️🙏🏻🙏🏻

Terus btw kayanya fx predisposisi ak gabisa tidur adala tadi aku minum ☕️🙃 tp its owkkk krn sesungguhnya ak udaa 30% left🙏🏻🙏🏻

Ok niteyy!!

-23.28

[nine-moment]

oihcco'I

Berpuluh tahun? Tapi saat itu aku belum dewasa. Lambat laun baru mulai tersadar, di saat semuanya sudah terlambat. Haha, bodoh sekali dulu aku. Kamu kira semua bisa menjadi indah ketika hanya kamu saja yang percaya?

Hidup di tengah perasaan tak puas, selalu bertanya-tanya,

Kenapa? Ada apa? Kenapa harus aku?

Menatap pandangan-pandangan itu menjadi hal yang menakutkan, menguras tenaga, bertabur keringat, mencampur adukkan perasaan. Tidak hanya itu, pandangan itu dibalas dengan pandangan penuh tanda tanya juga, terkadang juga pandangan menyedihkan bahkan menjijikkan.

Tak ada yang tau, berapa waktu aku habiskan untuk bersedih, bertanya-tanya, memandang diri, mencari-cari informasi sambil tak pernah henti merutuk diri sendiri

Sudah tidak bisa diselamatkan ya? Harus selamanya seperti ini?

Berkali-kali, sambil menepuk dada, "Gak papa, bersyukur, harus percaya diri yaa. I love you."

Lalu di suatu hari, menemukan mereka yang memiliki perasaan yang sama. Aku lupa aku tidak sendiri. Aku bisa merasakan apa yang mereka rasakan, kita sama-sama ada di ruang itu. Be strong, us. Hal-hal kecil bagi orang lain bisa menjadi hal yang besar bagi kita.

Terima kasih telah mencari dan menemukan. Tapi perjalanan ini panjang. Yang bisa menguatkan cuma diri kita sendiri. Kamu bisa, sudah bertahan sampai sejauh ini :")

Kamis, 13 Mei 2021 | 17.55

Gresik, 1 Syawal 1442 H

[aksa-ra]

Mengetahui Tidak Langsung Membuat Sembuh

Membahas tentang jenis attachment-ku hari ini dengan teman yg ternyata satu jenis attachment denganku membuatku takut, sedih, dan merasa bersalah. Perasaan itu muncul karena adanya pikiran mengenai trust issue yang dipengaruhi bentuk kelekatan tersebut ternyata, merasa bersalah karena tanpa sadar aku mendorong mereka, membuat mereka pergi menjauh.

Aku jadi teringat kalo aku pernah buat instagram story yang isi pertanyaannya kurang lebih kayak gini, “Well, I have a question: when you afraid to lose someone, you choose to abandon them. is it a cycle? and in your opinion, why it happens?”. Sebuah pertanyaan yang timbul setelah nonton youtube yang berisi cerita seseorang yang pushed people away because afraid that they gonna leave her. Sebuah pertanyaan yang saat ini aku sadari dan ketahui jawabannya: semua terjadi karena kamu takut, karena kamu merasa tidak benar-benar merasa dicintai, and it’s hurt :”)--Bahkan di momen saat ini, rasanya aku pingin sekali ada orang yang menenangkanku dengan mengusap-usap kepalaku dan bilang, “Gak papa, gak papa.”

Di sisi lain, i’m feeling blessed karena diperbolehkan dan diberi jalan buat mengetahui dan menyadari hal tersebut. At least, ketika stimulus yang membuat tidak nyaman itu datang, I could say to myself that it’s ok, it doesn’t mean danger. “Gak nyaman yaa... Takut ya... Gak papa.” And if someone choose to leave, it doesn’t mean you don’t deserve to be loved. You still deserve to be loved. He’s not the right one you’re needed.

[forcheska]

Hi cheesecake

Happy2 Birthday, Msta ka na? Dugay na ta waay ka kitaay .. I pray that you will always be safe and healthy kikay. Continue be a blessing to all the people who loves you. Stay humble, pretty and kind. And tani mag continue ka gd grow sa relationship mu sa Ginoo.. Be buot to your mama, papa, manang and lil bro always ahahaha.. Hope to see you soon cheesskkaa  Many more birthdays and blessings to come.. Labb yaa 

 -Nang Charms