#yall are crackin me tf up

[joeldidnothingwrong]

me refreshing my feed every 30 seconds for the past hour

[nejjirez]

"MINE"

pairing: e!42 miles x blk! fem reader

genre: fluff , protective miles

miles = dark purple you = pink (naisa is you)

a/n: whew lawrd i got so many damn books to post .. yall in for some treats good JESUS , but trust ima get yall requests soon i promise

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you were walking back home from the store , it wasn't too far away from where you live , so walkin won't a problem .

on the way back you heard your phone buzz , taking it out of your pocket to see who texted you. "1 new message from: Miless 💘."

miles was texting you to ask where you were at , worried on why you weren't home yet since he was at your house. you texted back smiling , reassuring him that you'll be fine , and your're on the way. butttt miles looked over that , and face timed you.

when you answered , he was side eyeing the camera , on the game that he set up in your room. "didnt i tell you to ask me before u use my tv?" you sighed , looking around your room to see what else he had done.

"yeaa sorry ma , my ass was bored waitin on u , but where you at?" miles fully turned his head towards the camera , squinting trying to make out where you were at.

you put your face all up in the camera , makin faces and laughing. "ma im not playin , where are you" he put his controller down , speaking in a more serious tone which made you back up from the screen.

"chill , im on my way ri-" suddenly , a boy who looked about your age came up to you , cheesin away. you kept walking , not interested.

the boy started walking behind you , trying to talk to you which .. didnt play out well. "yoo u from here?" he managed to catch up to you , trying to walk beside you.

miles heard the male's voice which caused his head to shoot towards the phone , picking it up looking around your surroundings.

"yea , i'm from my man's place , move along ." you snarled , walking faster looking at your phone to see miles with the most annoyed facial expression ever.

"aye not gon lie he prolly a bitch like most niggas round here , i could fs do better lil ma" this was miles last straw .. womp womp.. "oh hell na ." miles said before taking a good look at where you were , and hanging up.

the boy heard the voice coming from your phone as you walked faster , causing him to laugh. "aye was that him? see he prolly mad at u now , come fuck wit a real nigga" at this point you were irritated , not wanting miles to be mad at you because someone else tried talking to you.

"nigga fuck off , been said i got a man thats yo cue to leave . actually that ain't even my man , we married. so bye.." you went to imsg on your phone trying to text miles to get this boy away from you as soon as possible , he was pissin you off at this point.

miles texted you back with a simple "omw mami." which caused you to look around , seeing if he was anywhere in sight.

after a few minutes of this bum still tryna talk to you and follow you , you felt hands around your waist walking with you , causing you to quickly turn around trying to move until you noticed it was your bf , miles.

"the fuck?? this yo man?" he looked miles up and down , which pissed the both of yall off. you opened your mouth to say something , but before you could talk , miles did.

"nah nigga im her husband , i know u heard her say she taken so why u still tryna fw her? take yo big boosie fade head ass on somewhere bruh and getchu a retwist , yo ass got butterfly locs atp" miles laughed a lil at his own joke , meanwhile you were crackin tf upp

the boy side eyed yall , and walked off mad asf , you and miles were still crackin up at the back of this nigga head , retwists do not exist to him

"ight ight jokes aside , you lmk when shit like that happen we cant have niggas lookin like THAT tryna fuck wit you naisa" he wiped a few lil tears from his eyes due to laughing , you did the same.

"nigga did not give up.." you thought of the things the boy said , making you cringe.

miles put his arm around you , walking back home and kissed you on your forehead.

"mine."

[sortagaysortahigh]

Drew in Scream is making me geek yall. Im crackin tf up at his whole character. “Really knockin my chances with the ladies” like boy shut yo cornball ass up. I love this white man 😩😩😩

[justasneakysnek]

Weird Dream Time

WARNING: Kinda NSFW

Okay yall. Here we go. I'm not tagging anybody so if this gets back to anyone in this post I might delete my blog lmao

So I went to FL for some reason. I was in like a crowded area, maybe a convention? Idk. Something like that.

I'm walking around, taking pictures, doing things, when who grabs my shoulder? Thomas FREAKIN Sanders. He goes, "Hey, we're trying to find more people to add to our team, you wanna come be in a video as a guest real quick?"

Obviously I'm ecstatic and I say yes. He takes me over to where they're all chilling, and by all, I mean it's Joan, Talyn, Thomas, Camden, and Quil. They're doing something with Play-Doh, idk. I'm sitting there the whole time trying to figure out how the hell the little toy works. I'm crackin jokes, I'm really starting to feel like a member of the gang.

So this is where it gets hella weird. And like I said at the beginning, some kinda honhonhon material ahead, so be warned.

I'm playin with the Play-Doh, havin a grand old time, when Joan of all people is like, "Hey, you're pretty funny."

"Haha, thanks," I say.

They chuckle a little bit, I'm still fuckin around with the Play-Doh, Thomas is watching, Camden, Quil and Talyn are all like "huh, interesting."

"Y'know, you should really be part of the team. Since, y'know, I'm leaving. Thomas could use someone like you to help him out. I mean, clearly you've got some creative merit, and you're hilarious."

I giggle a little bit. They're really buttering me up here. I'm not thinking anything of it until they lean close to me and go, "You're also very, very pretty."

Pause, timeout, the f u c k?

I turn to them, they're smirking, Thomas doesn't seem to notice, Talyns watching this, Camden and Quil have disappeared, I'm smiling, I'm blushing, my brain is asking so many questions but dream me doesn't give a flying fuck.

So Joan gets a tad handsy with me. Specifically those pillows on the chest. Talyn makes a noise of protest and I'm like, "Don't you..have..a partner?"

And I wake up.

Like.

TF?

Anyways so apparently deep within me is a rooted crush on Joan and I dont know what to do about it lmfao. ESPECIALLY since I just. I don't even know if they like. do? sexy times? Im so confused. Help me lmao