#yeah I know those quizzes are bullshit don't @ me

[lonelylittledot]

Internet sexuality quizzes be like:

Are you homosexual?

yes

no

[hotchley]

🐨 Aww, thank you! It was a pretty good day. I saw a lot of family and had some friends over.

And that’s very wise, and very true! Your grief counselor sounds very smart. Grief is a weird thing, isn’t it? I realized the other day that the fifth stage is acceptance, and unless you, like, un-accept it, you never leave that stage. So you don’t finish the five stages, you reach stage 5 and stay there. I guess it makes sense, because you never really go back to normal. You just find a new normal.

Speaking of grief, I was in Illinois last month for a funeral (I was gifted the deceased relative’s mandolin cause her husband heard I’m a musician, so that’s cool!) and we finally scheduled my grandpa’s for June. It’s on the first day of Pride Month. I declared that that’s homophobic, and my mom did not quite get the joke 😂 Parents ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ He was in the military, so it’ll be one of those formal services with the flag and the bugle and stuff. It’ll be nice, I guess.

Anyway, on a less depressing subject! Yes, I also love Everyone Is Worried About Owen! Gut Punch and Sleepwalking are two of my favorites.

I have my black belt exam in less than two weeks now! It’s a bit nerve-wracking—it’s a massive, day-long ordeal with traditional stuff, free-sparring, and even a verbal portion! I had to write two papers and take a bunch of quizzes beforehand. My dad and I have been preparing together, which is fun. The dog likes to think he’s helping, but really he just stands directly in front of us while we’re trying to do kicks because he wants to feel included. I’m excited! Black belt evals always bring the dojo together. And I like that I get to do this with my dad.

I hope Ramadan is going well. One of my friends who celebrates said that in addition to praying five times a day, they’re encouraged to read the entire Quran over the month. Is that something that you do too?

Ahh that's nice!

Yes, she is very smart, especially when she's calling me out on my bullshit. We only have one more session to go, but I was already given the maximum because it was "complex" and she thinks I'll be okay!

Ah, the wellbeing practitioner actually referred to grief as being a table. And as time goes on, the table gets smaller. It never actually gets destroyed, but you learn to live with it. And I like that. That you don't ever get the old person back, but you become a new person- and that person can be better.

That is cool! I'm glad you've got a date for your granddad's- in the immediate aftermath, that seems like the most stressful thing you have to do. It is a little funny! Military funerals never seem quite real to me you know? I mean, I've never been to one, but... yeah

Gut Punch!! Yes!! I find There Are Leeches In Denton Lake to be a no-skip, but if i had to choose... my favourite is Screwing in a Lightbulb

Good luck! Is it going to be like that one episode of Lone Star, with Charles and one of the twins, because that seemed terrifying?? Aww, that is sweet <3

Ramadan is... it's going! I'm gonna be honest, it's difficult, and it's harder when you're trying to revise. And the side-effects of my supplements have hit so... no, but it is nice. I like how quiet it is. And the peace? It's difficult to explain.

Yep, it's encouraged to read the whole thing but if you can't, to just read consistently. I usually don't fast for a week, and school means I can't always read as much as I want, but I did manage to read the whole thing during lockdown of 2020! And I've made some good progress this year- I probably won't finish, but there was effort!