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#yeah before carters death he has his little family with harold and bear and he helps people and he even says he feels happy so. progress
throwing-summers-at-the-walls
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3 years
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Oh boi it's thinky thoughts time
#tw suicide
#probably not the first time im talking abt this but oof
#when john shows that bullet to joss and she asks if it got somebodys name on it
#and he says 'mine. there was a time i thought abt saying goodbye'
#fuck i just.
#john did your suicidal ass walk around with a bullet you planned to shoot through your brain ?????
#i started watching poi in 2014 and i probably watched this ep in 2015 so i wasnt suicidal yet
#this ep and pilot (and 2πr or whatever its called) really hit different when you know what its like to be suicidal/try to kill yourself uh
#anyway. ofc he couldnt keep that bullet on himself at all times lol but its the symbolism. his suicidal ideation never really leaving him...
#yeah before carters death he has his little family with harold and bear and he helps people and he even says he feels happy so. progress
#but still that one scene just kills me. + the fact that he actually dies in the end...
#like. in the 1st ep harold straight up said theyll probably both end up dead in the end so its not surprising
#but yeah it hurts me little heart that hes suicidal then gets better somewhat and then dies
#pls let him have the life he deserves. the life he doesnt think he deserves but he DOES
#yeah talking about that shit in tags > talking about it in an actual post
#idk i prefer to hide in tags when it comes to suicide and when my thoughts arent super clear lol
#anyway im going to sleep
#person of interest
#john reese
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