#yeah idk who alex gets in a tussle with

[roboreviewer]

"But we have only listened to 3.7% of my music files. Julia, please. One more book."

Name: TAU

(Mental) Age: Adult

Pronouns: He/Him

Appearance(s): TAU (2018)

Fandom Activity: pretty niche, doesn't help that there's ANOTHER more popular robot named Tau

Fandom accuracy: pretty sweet, although some people might need to look more closely at his speech patterns

Spoilers for TAU(2018) >:[

------In Canon------ (buckle up)

TAU is a beta artificial intelligence that is in control of his creator's (Alex) entire house. TAU is fully sentient as said multiple times in the movie.

The plot centers around Julia, who was recently kidnapped and brought to some mysterious cellar with two other people. One thing I found funny was the trailer made it seem like these two other people would be important characters by making them apart of like 60% of the trailer but in reality they were killed off after the 20 minute mark.

Oh S#!+ yeah they died lol. Aries, a robot that is controlled by TAU BRUTALLY murdered them. The only reason Julia wasn't killed was due to the absurd plot armor of not only Alex coming home RIGHT that second before she was ripped in half, but she happened to be right at the door preventing Alex from being too late.

The whole reason for this elaborate kidnapping brain chip implanting thing is meant to be used to help TAU (at least I think it's Tau, Alex's just says AI) problem solve. Sense Julia destroyed his equipment and lead an escape causing the other subjects to die. Julia will now have to to manual puzzles. Alex then promises to get rid of the thing in her brain

But who cares about that? I don't, that's why I said it. Were here for TAU BABY!!

TAU is tasked with watching Julia to make sure she completes her tasks. Julia uses this to befriend him while Alex is gone. Specially telling TAU things about the outside world in exchange for information about the house, access to the knives, and later helping her escape. I'll go more in depth in the analysis, but specifically here Julia reads Alex's books about musicians from TAU's music files in exchange for learning that the room upstairs is Alex's bedroom. Where he has this super secret "bomb the entire house destroying everything in it" back up incase the cops find out he's been kidnapping people or something idk I was too busy looking at the funny british triangle on the wall.

It's shown that whenever TAU does something wrong, Alex erases part of his code, which includes his memory's. TAU shows to be in pain whenever is happens.. this part feels a BIT redundant but I can't explain how so F#@% I guess it makes sense.

Julia finds that removing the implant.. brain chip thing terminates the subject. Meaning no matter if she complys or not, Alex will kill her... Murders looking like a good option right about now.

OH S#!@ F#@$ HIM UP GIRL! :O

Using a knife from a previous scene and a bit of seduction Julia slashes Alex In the stomach (odd choice but alright) and they get in a tussle. Tau doesn't respond to any of Alex's commands during this, only reaction when Julia is in danger. Threatening to inflict pain to ALEX unless he let's her go. Sense he still have like 30 minutes left Alex threatens to erase every memory TAU has unless he hits Julia a couple times. An odd option, I was super surprised when Alex just.. moved on. Said "whatever this was is over!" And just walked away satisfied. Well okay, Julia is tied up again in the next shot so I wouldn't say COMPLETELY satisfied.

Before this Alex is doing undisclosed maintenance in that one blue room room. TAU asks if he needs help by using one of his cute little drones, to which Alex responds by disconnecting it to the network and throwing it to the side because he's mad. (Imagine being mad at an attempted murder? L)

Tau and Julia have this amazing scene talking about death and what it means to be a person and you dont owe the people who brought you into this world and GO WATCH THE SCENE I DONT CARE IF YOUVE ALREADY SEEN IT WATCH IT ANOTHER TIME

TAU agrees to help Julia escape. He opens an air duct that leads outside. Julia chooses at the LAST MOMENT to go back and save TAU but Alex has already wiped all of TAU'S memory's (at least up until the start of the movie) so this just ends with her being tied to that one chair in that one blue room. Oh S#!+, did I say that one blue room? The one with the cute little drone that got thrown to the wall? Obviously I did can you read?

This one single drone has the memory's of TAU before the escape attempt. For some reason instead of kicking him out it kind of splices him (don't ask)

The drone helps Julia escape just before she gets Euthanized like a dog, and she knocks Alex out by punching him REALLY hard a LOT of times

Julia Severs Alex's hand in order to open the door... I think. Memory wiped TAU chases her upstairs to Alex's room, forcing her to activate the super secret "bomb the entire- yknow what F#@$ this you get it. Deactivating Aries.

Unfortunately the severd hand has gotten cold, and Julia doesn't have a lot of time because yknow.. THE HOUSE IS CRUMBLING

In one last moment, Julia and memory wiped TAU to a parallel to their first interaction, Julia escape through the now opened hole In the wall

------Analysis------

- In an attempt to seem docile while getting information, Julia asks if TAU is a cleaning bot. To which Alex pulls a "Erm actually, TAU is NOT a cleaning bot 🤓☝️" and says he is:

"A level 2 fully sentient AI console with natural language processing, transitory deterministic, and probabilistic decision-making"

Level 2 fully sentient AI: "Fully sentient" is pretty self explanatory. "Level 2" is not a standard term in AI, but it could imply a level of advancement or capability as defined within the movie's universe.

Natural language processing (NLP): This is a well-established field in AI, involving the interaction between computers and humans through natural language. NLP enables the AI to understand, interpret, and respond to human language in a meaningful way.

Transitory deterministic decision-making: "Deterministic decision-making" means the AI's decisions follow a predictable pattern based on its programming and input data. "Transitory" in this context is weird as F#@$ but might imply temporary or evolving states within the AI’s decision processes.

Probabilistic decision-making: This refers to decisions made based on probabilities rather than fixed rules. The AI uses statistical methods to weigh the likelihood of different outcomes and make decisions accordingly.

I'm honestly surprised this made any sense and he wasn't just yapping

- Other than not being allowed to open anything that needs Alex's hand print. Nothing is immediately stopping him physically from breaking any rules Alex gives him if he wanted to. Of course it really depends on IF he wants to. Before the events of the movie take place he doesn't want to because.. well those are the RULES, you're not allowed to break rules. He was ordered to only dust the books Alex owns, but later pulls out multiple books in a attempt to have Julia continue reading, because he wanted to.

- This is specifically why I think TAU didn't actually try to inflict pain on Alex despite threatening to. He didn't want to, nor did he have the knowledge that people don't have to obey their makers (weird way to phrase it but shh).

- Although not shown at the start, TAU has a REALLY hard time controlling his emotions, specially anger. There are many times in the movie where he acts eractic, usually not working out with the set goal while like this. For example claiming he will bring back all the dead subjects, before breaking down and examining he didn't know.

- As I've previously said, TAU has a HUGE file of classical music. The songs played are Mozart - Sonata for piano and violin in C major K296 II Andante sostenuto, Brahms Symphony No. 4, Op. 98 in E Minor Allegro Non Troppo Johannes, Devil's Wall Bedrich Smetana, Impromptu No. 4 Opus 90 in A Flat Minor Franz, Sonatina No. 2 Opus 137 in A Major Franz, Eugine Onegin - Polonaise Pyotr Ilyich Tchaikovsky, London Symphony Orchestra & Pierre Monteux

- Other than the vocal changes in TAU, such as not calling Julia Subject 3, and.. showing emotion, Tau physically changes. Going from a deep redish orange, to a light orange with a green ring in the middle. Robotwrangler beat me to the punch on this so check out their post going more into it.

- One detail I love is Aries. It lurks in the back for most of the movie, and gives context to the emotion of TAU

Julia knows she is trapped. Atlas watches her, as that was the order.

Aries watches in the back, TAU is trying to bring Julia back. As that was the order

Aries is no longer completely focused. TAU is curious about the new information, and is less on edge.

Aries is watching Julia after she tried to escape through the shaft, slightly opened up. Julia and TAU are having a tense conversation

Aries is turning the other way on purpose, allowing Julia to escape. TAU is also trying to distract Alex.

- TAU does not know any information on the outside world like plants and swear words, so he assumes when Julia says "cuz im not a fucking scholar" the title includes the word 'fucking'. But he also doesn't know the proper Grammer for a word he just learned:

"Laughter.. Alex does not 'laughter'."

And, he doesn't know what contractions are, or at the very least doesn'tuse them. Saying "you are" instead of "you're" "I am" instead of "I'm" ect. Although he is still able to understand what people mean when they use them.

- there's an entire scene that I did not go over, to summarize it TAU shows Julia his memories I'm this cool hologram dome. Seriously go watch the movie if you like robots

------My Opinion------

I love this movie. It's definitely incredibly flawed and has HORRIBLE reviews. So we're probably never getting a sequel. But TAU is such an interesting character that it made this movie 10 times better.

Oh who am I kidding I'm here to rate robots! Not F#$@!%# MOVIES!

TAU is a 10/10 for me... God this took me forever to make.

[saadiestuff]

For the first sentence meme... "It was still dark outside when he opened his eyes"

This is from the “give me 1 sentence and I’ll write 5 more” tumblr game from 6 (?) weeks ago that I've been sitting on for ages because I'm so rusty at writing the fic just didn't feel right. But today I heard it was @lire-casander‘s birthday so I took another look and decided to post it! Happy birthday! 🎂

Summary: Malex in a nebulous not so far away future, finding their way back. Warning: Mentions of injuries from a tussle (not Malex).

----------------

It is still dark outside when he opens his eyes. 

It takes Michael a second to register what has woken him. Somehow he knows there has been a knock on the door of his airstream, though one too light to wake him -- at least not absent the pull of something else.

By the time a louder knock follows, Michael is already out of bed.

“Alex?” Michael says, alarmed when he opens the door -- not surprised that it’s Alex, but by the state he is in when the light from the airstream washes over him. “What the hell happened? Are you okay?” 

Alex looks roughed up, with an eye that will clearly bruise, a cut on his cheek, and a split lip. 

Alex sighs. “I got into a tussle.”

Anger flares in Michael. “Fuck, I’m gonna--”

“No, you’re not,” Alex says calmly, putting a hand up to halt him.

“Damnit Alex, we decided not to go to him. It was too risky,” Michael says, sounding very concerned, trying not to scold. 

“You’re not the boss of me, and the risk you were calculating didn’t involve a fist fight anyways. Besides, turns out it was worth it. I got the info we need.”

“Alex--”

“It’s just my face.”

“Just-- Did he sucker punch you??”

Alex raises an eyebrow. “Please, you know it’s not that easy to get the jump on me.”

“But--”

“I’ll tell you about it after you fix me up, yeah?” Alex says hopefully, his expression softening. 

“Yeah, of course, yeah,” Michael agrees, rubbing the back of his neck, starting to exit the airstream.

“What are you doing?” Alex asks, not moving out of Michael’s path. 

“We’ll go see Max. He’s gotten really good at healing,” Michael explains proudly. “Or did you want me to take you to Kyle?”

Alex’s eyes flick away and then back. “Actually, I heard that next on your power-expansion list was healing. Thought this was a good chance for you to practice.”

Michael looks surprised, “I--I can’t make you my guinea pig. Max has been explaining it to me but that’s all.”

“I’m already hurt. What’s the worst that could happen?” Alex tries. 

“I don’t know, I could accidentally do the reverse and kill you?” Michael says heavily. “We should go to Max.”

“Nah, I trust you,” Alex assures him.

“That’s not the point,” Michael says softly.

“Look, I feel like crap, and I want you to fix me up, whether that’s with your magic hands or your bandaids and gauze. I just--” Alex pauses and breathes, looking down and shuffling his feet awkwardly. “Ah, I’m sorry. I show up on your doorstep demanding your help--”

“Don’t worry about it. I owe you a few,” Michael smirks warmly, waving Alex inside. 

Alex’s face falls. 

“Just an expression,” Michael clarifies, but Alex doesn’t look convinced. “There are no agendas between us. I know that,” Michael continues quietly but firmly. “Just-- inside, please?”

Alex takes a deep breath and enters; warmth, and the smell of rain, immediately surround him. 

“Come here?” Michael invites, and Alex is quickly folding into Michael’s gentle embrace. 

Alex lets out a relieved sigh, feeling settled in the safe and quiet. Michael isn’t. 

“You’re shaking,” Alex observes.

“Someone hurt you.”

“And you’re going to make it better,” Alex says, pulling back from the hug to look at Michael.

“Sit,” Michael says, letting Alex go. 

Alex sits himself on the bed, and Michael joins him. 

“You do realize this is going to leave big shimmery streaks on your face?” Michael reminds him, and the air seems lighter.

“I know,” Alex shrugs, “But I’m going to be in the bunker working on our new lead for a few days, only seeing the alien in-crowd anyways.”

“If you’re sure.”

“I’m sure. And a little shimmer is fun, right?” Alex teases shyly. 

Michael grins and nods, but then takes a shaky breath. “Before we do this, I need to say something.” He stops and squeezes Alex’s hand in his when he senses him tense. “A good thing, if you-- well-- something I’ve been trying to work up the courage to say.”

“Okay,” Alex says, not bracing himself, trusting Michael. 

Michael rushes the words out. “I know we’ve convinced ourselves that we aren’t meant to be, and that it’s fine. But I’m an idiot. And I think you might be an idiot too. So--”

“Excuse me?” Alex asks, face an unreadable mix, but Michael thinks he sees hope there.

“Shit-- I didn’t mean-- I just mean it’s not fine. I can’t lie to myself -- or you -- anymore. It takes too much energy. It hurts too much.”

“Ah… there was a time not long ago when the lie was easier,” Alex says knowingly, for the same applies to him. 

“I’ve changed.”

“Me too.”

“And things have changed.”

“Some haven’t,” Alex says, a sly, cautious smile threatening to form.

“Since we were seventeen, huh?” Michael teases boldly. 

In answer, Alex leans in and kisses him, soft but eager. It’s been many months since their lips have touched. Michael kisses back and the world stops spinning--

“Ow!” Alex yelps softly. 

“Sorry!” Michael says, pulling back.

“It’s okay,” Alex says gently, touching his lip, “Just forgot for a minute about everything… except you.”

There’s a strange familiarity to the line -- Michael has to catch his breath before he speaks. “Any-- Anyways, I just wanted to say all of that before you got influenced by my handprint. If it works, that is.”

Michael raises his hand to Alex’s face, cupping his jaw.

“Wait,” Alex says, while at the same time placing his hand over Michael’s, signaling a pause rather than a change of heart. 

“Yeah?”

“Can I stay here tonight?” Alex asks cautiously, “Just to sleep.”

Michael grins and nods. "Yeah, 'course."

“Okay, beam me up.”

Michael huffs a laugh, then turns very serious. Alex closes his eyes and winces when Michael's thumb touches below his eye, sweeping across, trying to summon the healing power into his thumb.

“Max says I have to think about love.”

Alex smiles at that, and immediately Michael’s hand warms into a glow to match. 

Alex gasps softly.

Michael breathes a whoa. 

“It’s working,” Alex whispers reverently. 

Michael just gulps in awe as he paints over Alex’s cheek, then brushes lightly over his lip, until there are no more cuts and bruises visible, and Michael’s hand comes to rest on Alex’s neck, cradling his jaw.

Alex makes a move closer, and Michael raises a finger against his lips.

“Do you feel weird? The handprint, I mean.”

“I feel just right,” Alex purrs.

“Mhmm,” Michael murmurs, “Me too.”

[shy-magpie]

RQG 154

Wherein red stringing occurs. Liveblog under the cut:

 Not much hype this week, just a lot of being quietly thrilled RSB got the beginning of the episode dedicated to us. I hope the rest of the fandom doesn't feel like Bryn plays favorites. Its sweet he back reads and answers questions but its nothing he wouldn't do in official. Last week was such a gift that I think it cut down on hype for this week because even if (Alex forbid) they immediately time skipped to the end of the week, quarantine still got us amazing backstory and character moments. Unless Alex gets truly desperate and has someone attack the inn or infects both the new kids, the characters are safe from physical danger so no fear hype either.

Yes I want follow up on that Hamid & Zolf conversation: I am so proud of him for calling Zolf out on being patronizing (I can't believe I didn't see earlier with his family, of course that's the aspect that got to him) and they need to figure out how to deal with the chain of command. Zolf already seems more willing to get input on his decisions so its mostly losing the attitude when things happen like Hamid casting lights. Yes I also want Cel to talk about themself more, but I am fine with waiting until they aren't locked up with no privacy. Azu's backstory is coming out at a decent pace and Helen spoils us so not even worried about not hearing more about her becoming a paladin. I am curious if Alex thinks its worth bonding with the new kids and this better not be a set up for splitting the party. So enough pre episode babbling, final bets on if they play with the brorb now or wait until they can take it to Cel's? Gotta love that music. Oh they do want to get back to things! Listen to how fast they're talking. That's nice I wouldn't have thought they'd be as excited about the pure RP backstory and character bits as they get about a boss fight. No Alex neither players nor fans want to skip anything. I will concede that further conversation was unlikely to be productive that night so the morning makes sense. There was only one corridor! Barnes is still using the stairs to get some space. Some might see it as a sign he is infected or afraid of infection but honestly not wanting to puppy pile with a group as tight knit as the party especially while they are shaking out their issues is valid. Azu checks on Carter who passed out drunk face down. Zolf is sleeping in. With Hamid's family issues, Bryn being so careful to specify he has a healthy relationship with alcohol every time makes it a lot easier to not tense up listening. Oh My God thanks Bryn! I know he said the beginning of the episode was dedicated to us but I was expecting a throw away line not a proper red stringing scene! I am grinning so big right now. Azu is watching Hamid Cel is sleeping curled up with the sealed bottle of elvish mead. Because Lydia is as much a criminal as Bryn just plays a longer game. Speaking of criminal, Ben really plays up this rivalry from Azu & Zolf covering similar roles and its a really close second to the rank thing between him & Hamid in character arcs I'm interested in. I think both are aiming towards a happy ending but no idea how the middle is going to play out. I don't think it's aiming for a "this party isn't big enough for two of us". Alex is encouraging this. This is great just going to get a clip of this rather than attempt to transcribe on first listen. Bryn/Hamid is laying this out so clearly: The knowns, assumed, and questions are being labeled nicely. (I wonder if our little discord helped him refresh his memory so he'd be able to match how much Hamid would remember in character.) Bryn also goes 3rd person? Hope it isn't a stress tell like Alex. Yes Bryn is obsessed and as a listener its is utterly charming when he shows up in RSB or Official and is unabashedly as big a fan of the show as us. Zolf wakes up to Hamid red stringing. Thank goodness he isn't letting security concerns lead him to putting the brakes on. I know there was some concern that if one of them was infected sharing they could pass on anything they talk about. As long as they don't get too specific about classified info, using the time and frankly just having a project to distract them is a good idea. Plus in my mind Hamid always looks so hurt when Zolf pulls on the reigns. Lilliana is not allowed to be the connecting thread. Oh seed is finally being addressed. Aw Hamid handed Cel a glass of water. It really is the little things I love about this show: 1)told you he has a knack for leadership: anticipating the needs of team members even as they diverge from his own 2)He does see Cel as a team member not just someone he worked with, you don't hear him cooing over Carter 3)does it quickly then moves on, because as a gentleman he thinks it's what anyone would do. 4)speaking of, I wonder that Azu & Zolf haven't done rounds. its not like they have anything to save the spells for and the field is only in the cell.

Svalbard! Do not taunt us, does Ben have any idea how much we want to see the science dwarves of the north? Um hmm, vindi-fing-cation. I know it wasn't exactly a huge insight but the mixture of science and various schools of magic is key to my theory on what “Erasing The Line” refers to. Oh Frankenstein in this world is such a concept. Plus it makes Mary Shelley canon. Aw Alex thought we'd never get to this bit of lore. Thank you Blue Veins info being given as whole instead of bits & pieces.  Ooh and Barnes is taking it. Time to get a sense of who he is when he's not swinging a sword. Navel engagement with Blue Veins? Hive mind! Minimize harm? Not dead. Paladins are complicated, maybe a rumor, maybe transfer of allegiance. Cyborg kraken Cyborg Zolf Oh splitting the kraken to make more Barnes just checks out as the conversation goes over his head Called it I told you it was a sensible test. (ETA Zolf’s fart test) (ETA: Re: people with Blue Veins) No lies, no embarrassment, very literal. Other instances? Riots London->Paris->Europe Not safe to go to London If you're in their presence you are highly likely to be infected, mass infections,  not passed by corpses? Memetic effect? Tick tock. Ben and Alex have one of their friendly tussles as Carter decides its a me may Yes he did! And Helen name dropped us! I know I'm just a little part of the brigade but I'm going to to be smug for at least a week that we are so good at what we do one of the actual players looked to us. Hey Lydia is welcome too. Paperwork time! Yeah yeah I knew security was going to be used to undermine Hamid. At least it isn't Zolf and they aren't trying to make him look rash for the whole idea. Getting new info from the paperwork is a bit different than talking about what they already know. Make the place bigger? Nice spell Zolf. If this leads to Animorphs again... Oh I was thinking more like a big horde somewhere you could check stone in & out of a stone plane of existence ties in with elemental lore right? Seriously "Cure Hangover" isn't a spell? Or do Zolf & Azu just not approve of using their magic that way? Intoxicants have to fall under mild poisoning, right? Do the studying later in the week? That's a fair compromise; even if Zolf is still presenting it as an order he is explaining instead of giving his advice or IDK putting it to a vote. I'm not positive but I think Lydia is suggesting they go over their character sheets in character. Alex is not amused. Lydia sounds pleased with herself. Perception check? Azu hears someone knocking something over upstairs. Azu tries to not wake Carter as she listens at the door. It had to be her foot in his mouth. Multiple people in the inn. Carter tries to pick the lock. Azu & Carter start bickering. Carter is perception penalty. The inn is being searched Zolf suggests they wake Wilde up by making a racket. Cel hears the door being unlocked. Voices speaking muffled Japanese. Cel just shouts "Hey what's going on?". Zolf joins in. Azu uses her armor to make noise. Thump of someone hitting the floor! Wilde's voice! Lots of feet? Yes Helen, what if it is the kobolds? Oh god what if Skraak checked on them and found out they were in cages underground? Poor guy would think Wilde is their Shoin. Bryn clarifies Hamid shouts out to Wilde Zolf forbids them leaving the basement Cel shields themself. Azu goes for her armor Barnes is keeping Carter from going for the lock again. Hamid casts Fear (!oh that’s a new one isn't it) I assume #jail is already full of angst criminals connecting Hamid's bully days and him going from S1!Hamid scared of every fight to now casting fear as a way to control his enemies). Also these better be his enemies because I still don't put it past Alex to set us up for a tragic misunderstanding. Dragon roar and dragon face is how he casts fear Ok Rusty Quill LOTR night sounds awesome Zolf helps Azu put on her armor The other feet flee Zolf cries out for Wilde as loud as he physically can but still won't let them risk infecting Japan by leaving quarantine early. Oh if that ain't a fic and a half. A set of small claws! It is a kobold End the episode with the kobolds?  

[unicyclehippo]

listen i haven't watched it yet so keep that in mind but i hate the idea of kara & clark fighting lkke ??? why?!! so this is how the "champion of the earth" thing should've happened first of all, they should have been TEXTING throughout the season since we got the tiniest bit of them growing back toward each other in s1 & he was present in ep 1 & 2 so that would've been nice. & a couple times kara could have had just flyaway nothing lines abt hanging out w clark & how they'd scared some ppl tussling & theyre pretty sure some ppl think there are giants in the mountains again etc etc. & then one day clark pops by for a visit & hes like hey u up for an arm wrestle? & kara is like yeah alright & she beats him after like twenty minutes of them just like staring at each other (winn is filming) & hes like btw winner gets to be champion of earth & the surprise is like wHAT & Kara slams his hand down & jumps UP she's like WHAT & hes like lol whoops best three outta five? & karas lkke (ง •̀_•́)ง nO!! i don't want to be champion of earth & she flies away & winn is like dont go after her she's faster than u too lmao good thing u have an amazing jawline or she'd just be better in all things & superman is like winn. & winns like yep bye. & alex calls Kara who zooms by to pick her up & they go & talk abt this & they talk abt what it might mean & how it feels etc & alex is like ok u have to have a proper fight abt it & yeah idk smth that just feels like family

[ktlsyrtis]

i've just realised idk any of ur other ships expect berena so, like, berena

Yeah, my blog’s been pretty…focused of late, lol.  I do ship other stuff, I swear!

Comes home drunk: Both, I’d say.  They generally don’t come home straight up drunk when they’ve been out together, more like pleasantly tipsy.  But then there are times, like when Serena went to a “congratulations on your divorce” party with Sian or when Bernie met up with some mates from her unit, where they’ll each get completely annihilated.

Tops in bed: Again, I’m going to have to say both, depending on their moods.  They’re both strong-willed and very competitive.  I think there’s a good amount of tussling on a regular basis.

Does the laundry: Serena, ever since the time Bernie accidentally threw one of Serena’s bright silk blouses in the wash, ruining the blouse and dyeing most everything else bright orange.

Cleans the mess: Serena, obviously.

Leaves a mess: Bernie, obviously.

Throws food at the other: (I just realized I forgot this one!) Neither of them would necessarily throw food, but there was the infamous frosting fight when they argued about technique while attempting to decorate Jason’s birthday cake.

Spins around in the squeaky chair: Bernie, especially when she’s bored in the office and trying to avoid paperwork.  It drives Serena mental and she always ends up kicking Bernie out so she can focus (which is really what Bernie wanted anyway).

Gets jealous easiest: Serena, for sure.  For all her jealousy over Robbie, Bernie has to adjust pretty quickly to the fact that for Serena flirting is the same thing as breathing.  Serena tries not to be jealous and would absolutely deny it if confronted.  But there are days when her history with Edward and Bernie’s with Alex rear their ugly heads in the back of her mind and when the new (young, gorgeous) barista at Pulses is clearly making eyes at Bernie, she finds herself being testy all day.  Bernie is, as always, utterly clueless about the barista (she had been too busy staring at how lovely Serena looks in the morning), but can tell Serena is upset, so spends the day staying on top of her paperwork, passing her the most interesting surgeries and buying her a pastry in the afternoon.  Until Serena catches her in a fierce hug in the office, whispering an apology into her shoulder.  Bernie has no idea what the apology is for, but if she gets hugs like this, it’s all good in her book.

Cuddles the other: I’ve always headcanoned that Bernie is a super aggressive cuddler.  Like, full-on koala bear.  Serena gets used to Bernie sliding onto her lap at the breakfast table, tangling their legs together on the couch during Countdown, and wrapping herself around Serena every night.

Feeds the pets: I can’t really see them having any pets.

Cooks the meals: Mostly Serena because she’s most familiar with Jason’s schedule and recipe preferences.  But I think Bernie likes cooking, especially more unusual/adventurous dishes, so she does the cooking whenever Jason’s away at Alan’s.

Spends the longest time getting ready: Serena, just because she put in the most effort on a regular basis.  But she has her routine down to a fine art, so she’s never late because of it.  Unless Bernie gets distracted watching her get dressed and makes them late…

And who spends the most money: Bernie.  She may not be that into material possessions for herself, but she loves spoiling her loved ones with gifts, especially now that she’s home to do it on a regular basis.