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daisanokensha · 4 years

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i really admire your characterization so i was curious about your take/thoughts on mikoto's ptsd?

OOF SORRY this is late and idk if you still wanna read this anon but... you flatter me haha... i’ll gladly(?) offer my two scents but im warning you it’s been a while

sooooo obviously i agree that mikoto’s extremely depressed but generally speaking i’d say i’m not a fan of takes that claim he developed ptsd from the crater incident. i respect them but i think the crater’s more of an echo of the actual issue considering mikoto revisited the edge of it with his grandpa often enough to make a habit out of going for a swim which reisi thought was very bizarre and tasteless when he saw a dripping wet mikoto emerge out of the water (THIS IS A DISASTER SITE MIKOTO) BUT LIKE that's neither here nor there bc mikoto suoh is a) notoriously disrespectful and b) has no problem wrecking public property. destruction isn’t his issue per se

i personally think the problem lies within his impulse control and/or lack thereof as it becomes a big thing later on in the series. people tend to throw a bunch of buzzwords around but fact still remains that he’s always been a pretty laid-back guy who grew up in an environment that practically enabled him to pick up certain habits (used to work as a bodyguard, lives in a bar etc). i don’t rly expect much from sb who’s never been told no as a child or that he can’t overindulge bc there’s... no such person in his life to take on that role (his parents are dead, his grandpa too). he didn’t develop his bad habits due to his ptsd (re: smoking, drinking, sleeping), his ptsd just amplified them. sure, he can control himself to a certain extent, but the second he’s given an incentive, he’ll take advantage of it.

but like. mikoto’s a good kid (as confirmed by honami). he’s doing well in school and, as honami mentioned, she firmly believes he could become anything career-wise if he just set his mind on it. he just doesn’t want to. everyone’s got all of these expectations they project onto him while mikoto’s just over here honest to god vibing. yes, he gets into fights, but don't poke the bear and expect it to lie still, y’know? i’d also get sick of constantly dodging people that, seemingly for no reason whatsoever, won’t get off my ass. no, mikoto’s the type to ignore an issue until it goes away, but if it doesn’t, if it persists and gets in the way of his lifestyle or negatively impacts people he cares about etc, he gets violent.

(speaking of friends and people he cares about: i don’t rly think he’s got trouble making friends. he just doesn’t give a shit. people (good And bad) flock to him so effortlessly, but it’s clear that they have to put in the effort to actually stick around bc mikoto certainly doesn’t bother. they come and go, and it’s like he said: if kusanagi suddenly decided that he hated mikoto and/or didn’t wanna hang w him anymore, he wouldn’t resent him for that decision. he gets it.)

and that basically brings us to the actual problem. he’s got money, friends (for the first time in his life!), he’s doing whatever he wants etc etc all this free time to waste and money to blow basically. how does taking all of that away impact his life? extremely negatively. the slate chooses him. he’s suddenly confronted with the fact that he’s got way more responsibility than he can handle when his life has always, always, always consisted of him just doing whatever. he’s got more power than he can handle that, if he’s not careful, can and will kill his friends. people outside of his close circle suddenly look up to him for no reason other than said power that, on top of everything else, is actively destroying his body. he’s taking care of a child at his age that constantly invades his privacy (to a point where she shares his messed up dreams with him) and we know that mikoto’s an extremely private person. it’s bad. he doesn’t like it. he prefers what he’s built with izumo and totsuka. it’s small and intimate, but they understand him.

it never works out the way he wants.

but yeah. i just think there are so many different factors that ultimately led to his depression and ptsd that weren’t necessarily all “this guy likes to smoke and drink he must be depressed”. the most important thing has always been the absence of freedom (and consequently, his right to decide for himself), so to end this post with a couple of important things:

- mikoto knows he’s got poor impulse control and an easily addictive personality. it’s a Big struggle, but for all the wrong reasons: he doesn’t want to give up his life for the sake of others, but he has to. he feels like he does, too, at this point - people are suddenly telling him what to do? the cops are constantly on his ass? - he can’t go out anymore without attracting some kind of trouble. becoming the next red king directly put a target on his back and put him on the radar (remember, he likes his peace). they’re, by association, painted as the most violent clan. the bad eggs, and there are several, don’t really do anything to improve homra’s image. mikoto accepts it, albeit defiantly. he stays indoors as much as he can. overthinking everything makes him spiral, makes him angry and depressed, so he sleeps - people come to him to join his clan. it’s growing exponentially. the burden’s getting heavier. they’re good people, but a rowdy bunch. it weighs on his shoulders. he’s never been in this position. how can he keep them all safe? why does he have to? he just wants to live - he distances himself. not too much, but some days are unbearable. his bad mood affects them all. they know something’s up, but he can’t explain. doesn’t want to. so he stays away, because it’s easier - lapses of self-control, lack of sleep. the dreams he experiences aren’t his, but they’re vivid and terrible. he’s not there when it unfolds - he comes to once it’s all over, when the dust has barely settled, hands charred, sweating. it’s a reminder that if he gives in and lets it consume him, he will turn into that monster

also it’s not the first time i read this but the poor hygiene part always throws me off bc mikoto showers and styles his hair every morning. anna even tried to document a day in the life, so ??? where’s this coming from??? did i miss smth? who told you guys mikoto’s a nasty little gremlin

#( tbt. )#mikoto suoh #k project #also mikoto k wording himself was the ultimate fuck you to everyone who tried to control him #it was his decision and he wasn't gonna let them take that from him bc he knew #sb would definitely try to dissuade him if he gave them a chance #that's the type of person he is lbr #this post is a mess but im tired i'll edit it eventually #edit: one mention of reisi that's the only warning you guys get

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