#yeah sorry for the pity party i’m just not feeling great whatsoever add feeling totally useless to the list and here we are
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will get to all your lovely replies asap but for now let me get down the mood with my usual
fuck but i really do hate this month and everything it represents or better the fact that each single year it gets just more miserable
#i’m sorry fuck i wish i liked christmas i do#but i haven’t felt anything close to enjoyment of the period since what was it right ten exact years#every single fucking one of them it just got MORE fucking depressing#we dont talk about covid times because god i wish i could delete them from my existence#two years ago it was just depressing af#last year for a miracle it was halfway okay and hey managed to spend one with the grandmother for once#except she died three months later and this one it will be….. meh but the rest of the month has been a total nervewreck already#but of course EVERYWHERE around you is like JOYOUS TIME EVERYONE IS HAPPY SEASON OF MAGIC#as it is i’mma have to do half of the presents in january ffs#ah right forgot today was the anniversary of the other grandmother dying#and the entire first week is anniversary of 2020 nervous wreck of doom so hey that’s all fine#yeah that happened no i had no plans to mention it good luck to me wanting to move over that specific instance ig#i just wanna stop feeling stuck in being miserable until december 26th arrives and i can hope to get my shit under control the year after#yeah sorry for the pity party i’m just not feeling great whatsoever add feeling totally useless to the list and here we are#i’mma just go catch up on replies now just god now i feel like crap bc the moment i opened the app i just vomited out negativity g r e a t#personal for ts#janie rants
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