#yeah think ill just start a new tag where i ramble about what ive read and shit bc i talk SO MUCH

[loveydive]

okay thoughts on stone ocean

i just wanna say that i feel like im in a unique position reading this since some common complaints abt opinions of stone ocean being negative is that ppl rushed thru it to get to sbr too quickly. which just does not apply to me bc i read sbr and jjl first before reading stone ocean teehee x so ya

likes

I LOVE JOLYNE SO MUCH THIS CANNOT BE UNDERSTATED. I LOVE. HER. SO. MUCH. THERE IS NOT ONE THING THAT I DONT LIKE ABT HER I LOVEHER SO MUCH. I LOVE HER DUMBASSNESS, I LOVE HER RECKLESS BEHAVIOUR TO SAVE HER FRIENDS THAT IS TYPICAL FOR A SHOUNEN PROTAGONIST BUT NEVER SHOWN THRU A FEMALE SHOUNEN PROTAG I LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE HER. i love her development. i love her. and shes liKE GENUINELY SMART IN BATTLES AS WELL. AND NOT LIKE GIORNO WHO HAS A WIKIPEDIA EMBEDDED IN HIS FRONT CORTAL OR SMTH. BUT LIKE PROPER BATTLE SMART THAT MAKES YOU GO OKAY I DID NOT THINK OF THAT. i love her flaws. i love how she has daddy issues and is complex abt loving her dad or not. i love that she loves her mum. love love love.

fights dont feel like villain of the week format. progresses nicely and logically imo. overall, there were some fights that just seemed to drag foreverrrr, but only 1 or 2 that i outright hated (unlike jjl lmao). fave arcs were white snake: pursuer, ff intro, bohemian rhapsody, heavy weather, c-moon, made in heaven just off top of head

versus was esp interesting as a minor villain. i felt his motivations were justified and it made him interesting. i esp liked the little tension btwn him and pucci and wish it had been expanded more.

perhaps unpopular opinion but i actually liked pucci as a villain. lots of ppl say that hes just another part 3 villain but More. and hes just a lamer version of dio which i just disagree with. i felt that his back story lended a lot to making him his own person, with dio being a mentor and kind of like the like shaping for why he believes what he does when he was dealing with his grief and guilt. like his backstory in particular i loved. the idea of coincidences, fate, tragedy. he obviously frequently questions it when we read his backstory (why did those two have to meet? why did the lady tell him about switching the babies? why did her baby die?) its like a series of events that all reached to a peak with the tragedy of his sister's death and weather's lynching. and AH im going crazy. and ofc he feels guilty over his but at the same time, he wonders why it all happened. because of fate? why was it fate for his sister to die? and he just feels powerlessness over this. CUHRAZYY. and how his stand abilities manifest in direct response to losing his sister?? LOVE THAT. oh my godddd and his relationship with weather and that quote 'you're the ultimate image of evil, but you dont realize that you're evil. this is what makes you the worst kind of evil.' SCREAM. ANW THATS HOW I INTERPRETTED HIM AND I LIKE HIM. TOP 3 JOJO VILLAINS EASY.

i REALLY REALLY liked weather report's backstory and relationship to pucci. LIKE THE DRAMA OF IT ALL. THROUGHOUT READING IT I WAS LIKE GIRLLLL WHY ARE YOU DOING THATTTT. IT FELT LIKE READING A TRAGEDY YK? LIKE SHAKESPEARE. LITERALLY SHAKESPEARE. romeo and juliet but incestuous (rip). even has themes of senseless hatred!!! (side not i cannot believe araki actually put the kkk in there and also weather being a BLACK MAN I WAS LIKE WAIT ARE WE DOING THIS FR?). anw really liked it. made pucci feel wayy more human and made the stakes feel more personal

i liked the character designs just in general. and even tho annasui looks like a diavolo ripoff, i think hes looks very pretty. found myself looking at him sometimes even if i dont rlly like him dgsauids

aside from jolyne, i feel like i REALLY liked f.f. perhaps a tad more than hermes. ff was so bubbly and unique to the story. she was absolutely hilarious and i wish she hadnt died so early in the story but i feel like araki just didnt know what to do with her anymore esp since she didnt have a stand.

i generally overall like the characters individually. they are all interesting to look at/ have interesting personalities, motivations and stands etc etc

i like the little exploration of jotaros weakness being his own daughter buttttt - will explain more in dislikes

dislikes

(dragon dreams arc) kenzo fight is bs - hate fights that are basically just like. im winning… just just bc i am!!! liek you could explain this whole new concept to me that describes how hes winning but if its just some astrology bs that essentially says ‘just bc’ then im calling bs. this fight is bs.

jailhouse rock was. hm. it was an interesting stand in CONCEPT. but execution was like not fun to read at all imo.

im gonna be honest. like compared to the other jojo gangs, this part felt the least like they were friends. EVEN COMPARED TO PART 5 - whose relationships i thought were like eh (prolly cause we’re watching it from giorno pov and giorno has only known them for like. a week LMAO) ANW i think its bc so many times, the gang had to split up to like fight. and i dont think there was a single fight where all of them just like fought tgt. it was always in pairs and one or so was always out of commission. like mannnn. like jolynes individual relationship with each of them was good. but the trio of girls only really felt like real friends and that doesnt last long since hermes gets put out of commission after her revenge and ff dies shortly after like WTF sadface. so like when weather dies and hermes is crying. im like girl why are you crying did you even interact with him 😭 AND i feel like the fact that the gang arent really friends makes itself REALLY obvious when in the c-moon arc. hermes gets hit and knocked away from everyone and. everybody just kinda. continues without her anw??? like THINK ABOUT IT WOULD ANY OTHER JOJO GANG LET THAT HAPPEN IN THE OTHER PARTS?? THEY JUST LEAVE HER?? HUH??

maybe im eheh, more boring, but i prefer my um stories to be a bit more grounded (says the girl reading literal jojo). but yeah the story in general was like super okay good. but the ending battle hm. was a bit too lets say. out there for me teehee. like guess im not a big fan of like space and all that and alternate realities on a grander scale. it was just like a LOT.

moving onto the most controversial thing i think. the ending. a lot of ppl hate it. some ppl love it. imo i had stronger (negative) feelings with the jojolion ending. the stone ocean ending was. eh. like i didnt vehemently hate it, nor did i love it persay. i felt that it was indeed a bit rushed. like araki was like oh shit! i need to end this in the next few chapters and did that dhasuiodasd. like the gang died so quickly i didnt even realise that they actually died i was like no way right.

ANW BACK TO THEMES OF THE ENDING. i wish it was more. like. if youre gonna rewrite the entire universe, at least have it mean something yk? bc even though the ending was technically happy, very happy. i dont think there was a justifiable reason for it i think? like it could have just as easily been an unhappy ending and i get how ppl are like its symbolism!! the joestars dont have to fight evil anymore and its meaningful bc an outsider ended it. (side note, i do think this story was a better way to start off the way jjl started ‘this is a story about breaking a curse’ can you imagine that at the start of stone ocean? ooo goosebumps) but anw, imo i just do not feel that it was set up properly or justified. emporio did not deserve to be the last one standing imo, there just wasnt enough reason or set up for him to be. the use of weather’s stand was satisfying but not the fact that is was emporio. i wish it had been jolyne i think idkk

like even tho it technically is a happier ending for the gang, it doesnt feel deserved in my opinion. like not bc theyre bad ppl and they dont deserve it or that they didnt work hard, like i LOVE THE CHARACTERS. but. hm. it doesnt make sense thematically is what im saying. the characters dont meaningfully engage with puccis notion that he should create a universe where everyone knows their fate and is happy. they kinda are just like. oh hes killed ppl and is evil so therefore, we must stop him!! and im just rlly? like dont you wanna hear him out a bit GDIASUDHASD but yeah i just feel like weather had stronger motivations in this regard. the gang just dont have really strong reasons to fight pucci. including jolyne who already got her father’s disc back

SPEAKING OF WHICH, UM. CAN WE HAVE MORE PAYOFF FOR JOTARO COMING BACK TO LIFE PWEEAASSEEE. like he comes back and its pretty badass ngl but i want MORE btwn him and jolyne. like how abt an apology old man? why does ANNASUI AND JOTARO TALK MORE THAN JOTARO AND HIS OWN DAUGHTER IM GONNA KILL MYSELFFFF like he tells jolyne that shes grown (which, sweet) but can he PLEASE JUTS SAY THAT HES PROUD OF HER OR SMTH?? PLEASE? YOURE JUST STATING A FACT THATS SHES GROWN HDUIASDHASD OLD MAN SAY SMTH MORE USEFUL IM GONNA BASH YOUR HEAD INNN. IF JOLYNE FORGIVES HIM SHE IS DOING ALL THE FUCKING LEGWORK HERE

THAT BEING SAID. even tho jolyne is meant to be the PROTAGONIST of this part, her role in the final final battle is HEAVILY DIMINISHED. AND IM LIKE HUH. LIKE THIS IS THE PART WHERE WE GET A FEMALE JOJO AND THE THREE MVPS IN THE END TURN OUT TO BE THE GUYS LIKE 😐 OKAY. at least in the other parts, their respective jojos actually FEEL like the protag. jonathan kills dio, joseph kills kars, jotaro kills dio, josuke heavily has a whole badass fight with kira, giorno oneshots diavolo, and jolyne... what DOES SHE DO IN THE FINAL FIGHT AGAIN? 😭 like annasui has diverdown and stuff, jotaro stops time which stops pucci a fair bit, and emporio literally kILLS pucci. EVEN THE STAND USED TO KILL PUCCI WAS WAETHERS LIKEEE PUHLEASEE. and im reading this and itS LIKE SORRY WASNT JOLYNE THE PROTAGONIST? literally after the c-moon arc, i cant really recall like anything SIGNIFICANT that she does despite having just read it yesterday. and it makes me sad bc um. i rlly like her

overall - 6/10 - top 3 protag and antag. the concepts are THERE but the execution was off. definitely more experimental but thematically, it just wasnt satisfying.

[ankhisms]

the always wonderful shelley @shanheling tagged me to do this thank u so much!! i think that everyone i wanted to tag has already been tagged to do this but if you feel like doing this feel free to consider urself tagged by me!! im putting this under a readmore bc its long and i ramble a lot

the piece i was tagged to explain my process on is this oc piece! unfortunately i have a habit of deleting my original clip studio file once ive finished my art and saved it as a new png file, so i dont have the file to show the sketch and different stages of this piece. but I still can go through my general process and talk about how i did that piece!

1. planning

honestly i think about the art that i want to do a lot, and in this last year or so ive thought about the art i want to do more than ive been able to actually create and finish that art that i want to do. for my planning i tend to do a lot of different thumbnail sketches for the art im thinking of

these are some examples of thumbnails, a lot of times ill do thumbnails just on pencil and paper and with some of these theyre done quickly with my fingers on my phone note function on a day where i was feeling too bad to get up and draw on paper but still wanted to get the thumbnail ideas down. two of these are for the same songxiao piece that i still havent finished and i have more thumbnails digitally on clip studio for the same piece, i do a lot more thumbnails when a piece isnt working the way i want it to and theres times where ill completely scratch a thumbnail or a sketch and start over in order to do more thumbnails because i dont feel happy with some aspect of it.

two of these are small gouche painting thumbnails for two pieces i did maybe a month or so ago, i did the thumbnails and then tried to expand on them digitally and im wanting to do more thumbnail paintings like this in the future because it was fun

for the piece of my oc trio it was based off a series of ask prompts i got for a few different outfit prompt memes i had reblogged, so i based their outfits on the ones in the meme. when im drawing figures i tend to try and get the movement down in the poses when im sketching, i do several rough sketches of the pose before beginning to start setting down lines (if im doing lineart at all because sometimes i dont like doing lineart and do a more lineless painting kind of style). i really try to get my art to convey some kind of emotion, in the oc piece i wanted it to feel fun and like youre seeing three best friends while theyre out on the town having a fun night

2. creating

this is the only real example i have of a piece in the middle of being filled in and created, this piece is one that im really not very happy with & have had lying around for a while and ill probably scrap it and try to come at it from a different perspective at some point. but anyway it still shows what i do, i lay down a kind of neutral gray color underneath my final sketch/lineart if im doing lineart in that piece and then i start picking out the colors that i want for the piece and kind of setting out a pallette for myself. i dont do this color pallette thing 100% of the time but i do it really often, especially if im working on a commission or a larger piece where i know theres going to be a lot of colors or if its a piece where im not sure exactly what color scheme i want so laying out the colors together helps me kind of decide what kind of scheme i want. i am sooooo picky about my colors in my art i am genuinely obsessed with colors in art and there are times where i really have to stop myself from working on something forever just constantly adding more colors or putting little tiny changes and gradients in the colors.

after ive got the colors i want down i tend to try and block out parts of the piece with the base color for that section, and then i start to paint with the colors that i want to go on top of that base color from there.

once im satisfied with the colors/shading/rendering and everything ill go back and look over things and will fix things that look off or sometimes completely redo segments if they dont look right to me. when i was younger and mainly doing digital art using my phone and my fingers i would use a lot of filters and overlays on top of my art once i was done, and honestly im glad to not be doing that anymore because i dont think it made my art look any better. i do color adjustments and sometimes will put on a color overlay or a layer to emphasize the shadows and the light in the piece, but i try to keep those layers to a minimum and like i said before i have a tendency to obsess over the colors and ill spend a good amount of time in the color adjustment tool of clip studio and then ill just decide "actually it looks fine as it is" so yeah!

3. posting

i feel like i dont have a lot to say here gbfm i mean i honestly have a lot of thoughts about the relationship between artists and social media and how social media changes our views on art including our own art and how we can feel like we constantly need to be posting new art and just become content machines churning out new stuff. but ill save that rant for another time. i used to be really concerned about how many notes my art would get when i was younger, and i dont at all blame anyone who still is very concerned about that bc it sucks when u work hard on something youve created and then you dont get a lot of recognition for it, but honestly within the last two years or so i feel like ive begun to have a lot healthier relationship with posting my art. i really just post my art on my art blog, reblog it to my main blog, and then thats that yknow! i do really appreciate any and all support people give me, it means the world to me, but for me having the mentality where i dont need to post all the art i make and i dont need to be posting every day or every week or every month even has been a lot healthier for me because then im not constantly asking myself why didnt this get notes is my art awful??? and yeah i just kind of post it and my brain goes okay were done with that art we gotta make more

ive honestly been struggling a lot with art thru the pandemic and if youre reading this and have been struggling with creating in any way recently or even before the pandemic, please know theres no shame in having trouble creating and it doesnt make you bad at whatever it is u create!

thank you for reading this, feel free to consider urself tagged by me again if u want to do this!! love u all

[neoncat666]

Reminder: I love you and you are the best. I love your babysitter! Sapnap au. Thank you for the free serotonin. Spare me a little more about your aus or the au 👉👈

I had to get onto my laptop for this So I don’t make all the aus myself so under the read more ill have name of the au then names of who worked on it (both of my friends are only on twitter)

Also if you want more info on a specific au feel free to send another ask about that au on anything you wanna know cause i just ramble unless i have a certain thing to go off of

Babysitter au - Blurry, Tal, and I Sapnap is a highschooler who needed a job that worked with his school schedule and honestly didn’t require a lot of work. He finds an ad by a single father to babysit his two sons, both 8 years old at the time. This is how he starts babysitting Tubbo and Tommy. He doesn’t really like get attached to them at first but after a bit of babysitting them and actually hanging out and learning about the kids, he finds himself actually enjoying his job and is always really excited for it out of school. I can do a post on everyone’s role in this au but there’s just.. so many. Think dreamsmp amount of people. There’s a lot. The main people tho are Sapnap, Tubbo, and Tommy though. Also Fundy is a piano teacher

Zombie apoc au - Blurry, Tal, and I Self explainatory except we said fuck usual main protag rights and it follows Sapnap, Tubbo, and Tommy again. Basically they’re all their actual ages and have to make it through the world. Sapnap ends up taking a really protective big brother role and it’s mostly just their adventures until they find other survivors. This au does kinda stand on the edge of what’s kinda ok so we’re lowkey making it not as bad cause in the end these are real people.

Clay friends au (storebought friends are fine) - Tal, Blurry, and I Sapnap is a college student who has trouble making friends and generally be social. He ends up messing around and makes these little clay figures which end up coming to life. They become his best friends and help him do stuff like cheat on tests, talk to other people, ect. Eventually Sapnap ends up making real life friends and doesn’t need the clay figures that maybe were a part of his imagination the whole time. Well Dream and George don’t really like being shoved into a bag to never be seen again. Yeah this ended up as a horror au

Flipside au - Tal and I Dream, Sapnap, and George are all irl friends who go to school together. One day they each find themselves in a completely new dimension that seems to be everything they could possibly ask for. The only way they can communicate with each other is a handheld mirror they all have. This mirror and bracelets they made as a symbol of their friendship is important. Well the dimensions end up shifting, changing into each person’s nightmare. It turns out these dimensions are actually alive and feed off the desperation and despair of others, I can go more in depth about this au if asked cause it’s genuinely one of our more complex aus

Brothers au - Tal! and I So Tubbo and Eret are brothers and when Tubbo was a tiny baby, a witch had tried to curse him but Eret ended up taking the attack instead. This ended up with Eret leaving Tubbo when he was young and Tubbo growing up to become a farmer. Years later there is talk of an evil king who is threatening to take over lands and resides in a castle not to far from where Tubbo lives. He signs up to be apart of the soldiers that are storming this castle to take down this king. Tubbo ends up being the only one to even make it to the ruler and is praised by this person for making it this far. The lighting only allowing Tubbo to see the glowing white eyes of this person, they end up fighting with the king using powers to throw chunks of earth at them. During the battle, the stained glass behind the throne shatters which allows light to enter the room and show the face of this evil queen. Tubbo feels like this person is familiar and ends up calling out for their brother. Eret, taken aback, kicks Tubbo out of her castle and moves his entire base far away as an attempt to get away from them. Tubbo, not one to give up, now finds himself on a quest to get their brother back and makes friends along the way.

Angels n Demons au - Me! Sapnap and Eret are angels while Bad (and maybe someone else) is a demon. This is honestly just me fucking around with the concept of angels and demons and I’ve only developed it slightly by yelling at my partner about it. I’m writing something about it rn but i’m always open to talking about it in asks and stuff like that lmao.

But yeah those are the aus ive worked/working on! My fav is maybe like... babysitter and brothers au but im biased on found family. Please talk to me about them i’ll tag each post with the au tag so we can get that shit organized!

[madeintimeland]

im oversharing this got long sorry. just reminscing on shit ive thought about a million times over again

theres so much art i want to create and so little motivation. i should start smoking weed again bc every time im high i get my best ideas or at least like, it takes away the layer of film over my brain that stops me from being able to come up with creative ideas, but also im scared its going to send me into mental hell again. like i need to be in a perfect state for it lest i fear im going to invoke my months long existential crisis again and i Cannot be doing that shit rn. but also i wonder if its going to be worth it anyways if i can create something to leave on this earth again. like ive been so bad at creativity lately like i want to draw and produce things and im bubbling over with energy and i feel the ideas fermenting in the deep recesses of my brain like theyre nestled into the grooves and folds but i cant access them yet. and i know i can if im stoned. i might turn into a hermit hunched over my tablet all hours of the day just making shit tbh. i absorb so much of the things around me and i know if i try to make something now its going to basically be direct copies of the things i saw but if im high im sure i can actually create something new and beautiful. im scared of being intoxicated again but i was scared to drink again too and i got drunk and proceeded to love it and want to drink every single day because surprise surprise i have alcoholism coded into my dna and consequentially have an addictive personality in general. which is why i felt like my life was useless without weed. all up until i was finally able to get my hands on a stash that would let me smoke whenever i want versus when i would get a small amount every couple of months and completely and utterly fail at ratioing it out and binge it all and then have ridiculously introspective trips where id start to go a little crazy at the end (i have a distinct memory of looking at a meme that had a woman on it and thinking ‘jesus christ... what the fuck is that’ and then spiraled into thinking about how life is pointless but i didnt have enough weed to continue with that train of thought and if i did i may have had my crisis a lot earlier, it was just inevitable) i just felt like being high was the only time i could actually get in touch with my inner self again. like i used to before the thick clouds of depression and psychosis settled in. but then i finally was able to get high for longer than short bursts of time and it all came to a head where my brain broke and i have existential terror now that i feel im going to not be able to deal with confronting again. but every time i say that it never ends up staying permanently, it comes in waves, it all comes in waves. back and forth. i feel beauty in life and then i feel fear. i feel like its all worth it and then i cant stop thinking about the inevitable heat death of the universe and the pointlessness of it all. and then i get a hug or listen to a really good song and i feel like its worth it again. i wonder if this is just a period in my life im not a total stoner or if its actually permanent. anyways point is i want to make so much stuff that my hands ache and my brain rots when i think about how many things inspire me. thats why my aesthetic tag is #inspiration, its been like that for many years now, its stuff that inspires me. but at what point am i going to turn that inspiration into reality? im bad at initiative. my initiative is going to be when i pick up the pot again because im too lethargic and procrastinatey to create the things i want any other time. but when will that be? i cant see a therapist or anything rn and working it out on my own has been mildly successful, not bad, im not spending every single day in terror like i was at this point last year. it started all going away around august after starting in march. march 30th in fact. from then on its been a constant battle with dissociation. funny because just earlier in march was some of the best experiences of my life. i think if lockdown never happened this never would have happened either but at the same time im left wondering how anybody can go through their life without wondering about the meaning of it all and coming out the other side with purpose and resolve. mine was to enjoy myself and find as much beauty and love in life as i can before i die and enhance the lives of the people around me while i can because i feel too small to do anything on a grander scale. and im fine with that, for the most part, but i still get attacked by these waves of thought where i wonder what the purpose of reality is . i always have to smack myself and remind myself no dumbass you already went over this a million times, just enjoy yousrelf while youre here. but when im high its a million times worse cuz the only time i can get my mind off it is when im replacing it with horny thoughts and thats not the only thing i wanna do when im high ofc i want to experience and create and listen to music. but i mean i havent smoked since june. i think the 15th ? i could go back and read my journals to tell exactly when it was but yeah its been almost a year now and i feel like i might have it in me again. i used to love getting high and working on shit so much. some of my best works and most  creative projects and honestly just most enjoyable periods of my life were when i was high. going back to what i was saying about early march 2020 being the best time of my life, idk what it was about me but i was just having a grand old time experiencing absolute beauty playing ark with my friends, feeling so creative and developing new ideas and experiences, and using the freedom and motivation i felt ingame to also want to explore the world irl. i seriously was close to actually finally reading my survival manual and start camping and shit and i wanted to visit my relatives in their hella secluded farmhouse in the middle of fuck nowhere kansas, cuz i did visit there during that time period and i loved it to death, i felt so free. two different relatives actually and they both had that same aesthetic about them. of course they were horribly racist but i mean, thats rural kansas for you. i just wanted to camp in their woods. its funny because that month was simultaneously the best and worst of my life. all because of weed! if i never started smoking or rather never found a reliable source at that point in my life i wonder how i wouldve turned out? id like to chalk this up to fate that im like this, maybe its for the best, maybe smoking again wont help me but maybe it will. i have a way to ease myself back into it i just need that leap of faith and  bravery like i felt when i was drinking again. its funny because i used to be such a fucking druggie and i wanted to get high all the time and then after my existential crisis that all just. stopped. i feell ike everyone i know is sick of me talking about it but it really fundamentally changed me on the inside even if it doesnt seem like it much on the outside so i feel its right of me to talk about it sometimes. it makes me feel better at least. like this is jsut a thing t hat happened, not a fated break from the universe i cant come back from yknow? i dunno. ive rambled on way too fucking long and idk if anyones gonna read this. tldr i want to draw and create so many things and i have too many ideas to deal with but i only feel ill be able to unlock my creativity and motivation if im high but due to bad past experiences im terrified to get high again. i mean ive done and made some pretty cool stuff since then but the motivation and ideas are much fewer and far between compared to the absolute deluge i get when im stoned , whether any of my ideas are actually any good or if they were just high ramblings is up to debate but i think it gave me a really good way of looking at things and i made some pretty cool stuff and i miss it a lot but i dont know if going back to it is going to be a mistake or not and im not brave enough to find out if itll hurt me again or if im ready. yyyyaaaayyyyy hahahaha ✌