#yellowpinkpurple

[breakfastteatime]

Today's Fallen Order request is Shine for @thefinaljediknight

The planet sings. Cal feels it the moment they touch down. This world is so alive, and not because there’s a Maw somewhere beneath him, waiting for its next meal. The Force gushes and froths, a rapid river ready to swallow him whole. Beyond the cockpit, the planet’s incredible plant life shimmers in the soft rain, yellows, reds, purples, oranges, pinks, humming and swaying. The Force wants to take him by the hand and lead him in a dance. He looks to Cere. Does she feel it too? If she does, she shows nothing. Is that how effectively she’s cut herself off from the Force? Cal can’t imagine not feeling this, even if the Force might pull him apart like petals on the wind.

“Cal?” Greez calls as he finalises the landing procedure. “Something wrong? You’re looking spacey.”

He shakes his head, unable to put it into words. What would he say to someone who can’t feel the Force at all? How could he explain how this planet shines? BD too. He has no sense of this.

What a terrible, inexplicable loss for them. Cal can’t bear it. He can’t.

“Hey, whoa, what – ” Greez’s confusion is silenced when Cal wraps his arms around him and hugs him tight. “You okay, kid?”

Cal feels Greez patting him on the back, offering comfort when it should be the other way around. He reaches out, pulls BD in close too. “I wish you two could feel this.”

“Uh – ”

BD gives a curious beep.

Cal can’t speak.

“This planet is very, very strong in the Force,” Cere explains for Greez’s benefit. “Cal is a little overwhelmed by it.”

“Oh,” Greez says. He returns the hug. “If this is what Cal looks like when he’s overwhelmed, I think we can handle it.”

BD announces Cal scan results suggest he’s high.

Cere’s smile catches on the Force and flutters off on golden wings. “Yes, it probably feels a lot like that for him.”

Cal can’t contain himself a moment longer. Releasing Greez and BD, he rushes to the hatch, hits the override, and opens the ship up to the world ahead. He throws himself to the ground before the ramp can finish extending. His feet hit the grass – bare feet because he didn’t stop to put his boots on. Pollen and seeds cast themselves into the air, sparkling in the light when the sun breaks through the rainclouds. Cal tilts his face to the sky, eyes closed as he basks in the energy humming around him. No, he won’t fly away here. Maybe he’ll sink instead, into a cloud of light and life, streams of light dancing around him. He does a one-legged twirl worthy of BD just to take it all in, pulling the Force around him so it gathers like a cloak. The Force takes his hand and pulls him away, leading him up, up, up, above a forest of flowers in bloom and trees finding new life in spring. The world is coming back to life after a long, hard winter, and the planet sings with such joy the Force swells and rises.

A hand lands on his shoulder. “Cal.”

It’s hard, returning to himself. Cere’s warm hand, the cupped light that is her true self a beacon calling him back. He opens his eyes and sees a meadow around him, flowers turned to him like he is the sun. He’s on his knees, Cere at his side. Lungs full of fresh, clean air, he reaches out, lets the yellowpinkpurplered petals brush over his fingers. “Cere,” he breathes. He can’t capture what this place is. He’s never felt anything like it. Never. And with his slowly healing Force connection, it feels like… like maybe he really can do what Cere’s asking of him, expecting of him.

Trust only in the Force.

Cere crouches down, wrapping an arm around him. “I know,” she says.

He falls against her side, closing tear-filled eyes. Such joy. He doesn’t want to leave.

“Can you hold onto yourself while Greez and I head into town, or do we need to go somewhere else?”

It’s an effort to pull back, to put a barrier between him and this wonderful place. He is drunk on this place, so high he could brush the stars with his fingers.

Cere’s hand closes around his, pulling it down. “I think Greez might need to go on this trip alone.”

Cal falls forward, pressing his ear to the dirt. He can hear the planet’s song. He wants to listen to its ebb and flow forever.

“Is he okay?” Greez’s voice blends with the music.

“Can you manage the resupply?” Cere’s voice soars above the chorus. “I need to stay with him.”

Cal can’t contain himself. “I can hear the song.”

BD whistles, his weight leaving Cal’s back. The next thing he feels is Cere’s hand once more, resting on his back. She is a mute dulling the music, and he can’t stand it. He can’t. He doesn’t want to simply hear it; he wants to be in that flow.  “Let go,” he tells Cere.

“No. I know, Cal, I know what this must be like for you, but you mustn’t let it carry you away. Hold onto yourself. Let the Force flow around you here, not through you. If the Force is a river, you are standing on the banks watching it rush by.”

He doesn’t want to watch. It’s not enough. He’s never felt the Force so completely before, so happy, unrestrained, life, so much life, everything alive and –

Cere’s touch is more insistent now, a sharp tug where a Padawan braid once would have hung. Startled, he stares at her. “I know, I’m sorry. Focus on me. We’re going back to the ship.”

“To meditate?”

“No, not here. I think you’d disappear forever.”

“Become one with the Force?” It would be like being all the colours of a rainbow. He can’t help smiling.

“Definitely no becoming one with the Force, Cal. We’re going to ground you, one way or another.”

The Mantis hums around him, and Cal can’t remember if that’s the ship’s usual sound or if maybe it’s found a song to sing too. Cere sits him down on the couch.

“Potolli weave really is so comfortable,” Cal sighs.

“Come back down from the sky.” Cere sits on the table ahead of him.

“You shine,” Cal tells her. He pokes her. “You can’t hide it from me!”

Cere smiles, a strange smile, all sad and wistful. “When your master wanted you to hone your focus, what did he make you do?” she asks.

Padawan, it is –

“ – time for instruction.” He giggles at his own impression of Master Tapal.

“And what were those instructions?” Cere asks gently.

Focus on the here and now, what you see ahead of you, the scent in the air, the feel of the deck beneath your feet and the clothes against your skin. Tell me all about it.

By the time Cal’s done telling Cere all about it, the Force’s song has dropped in volume and he feels very aware of himself. Was he always so unwieldy? So clumsy? He stares at Cere, feeling the blush on his skin. Did he really try to hug the ground? Maybe if he asks nicely it will swallow him whole. “Sorry, I – ”

She cuts him off. “It’s very special, isn’t it?”

He grins. “Very.”

[skysscape]

Another gorgeous sunrise