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existslikepristin · 2 years

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Later than I said I would post the story? Never heard of her. I am simultaneously thankful and sorry @ggidolsmuts for reviewing this for me to verify it makes just the right amount of a lack of sense.

Anyway, please make note of the trigger warnings in red in the tags. Unless you're color blind, in which case you're about to be awakened to some new kinks. Congratulations.

(Oh and fuck BBC entertainment, if that wasn't obvious.)

Churchgirleum Yawjinius

Tags: NSFW, TheLounge, Loona, Yeojin, futa!Choerry, futa!Hyunjin, futa!Jinsoul, futa!Heejin, futa!Haseul, some other bitch, briefly questionable consent, regularly questionable sanity, anal, double anal, TRIPLE ANAL are you kidding me, alliteration, extreme deepthroat, humiliating someone who deserves it, piss, gallons of cum, slight foot fetish, Jinsoul’s cum is referred to as fish jizz twice and it is a joke I promise, clit smacking, light? bondage, sacrilege, “praying” for dick, writing this lowered my IQ, is Yeojin crazy or is she a prophet, who would ever think this was a good idea, dick sizes never explicitly stated but implied to be unrealistically large, Heejin might be the most normal person there somehow, squelching lube sounds, idgaf this is canon, SCIENCE probably, losing the plot halfway through, is Choerry a vampire or is she a prophet, a little bit of “Mommy”

~~~~~

Spring.

Light and warmth summon fast growth. It's a time that calls for maximum performance all 'round, but provides plentiful sustenance in return.

There's a lot to do! Ensuring future generations, and getting the world to bloom again.

Colors, scents, and bird song cast a spell over Seoul's spring worlds.

Early spring. At first, it's barely noticeable. The beginning of March, the nights are still frosty, and the trees, bare. The last of the winter's chill, still in the air. But the early returning flocks of birds signal a new start. In the fields and meadows, still bare from winter, the pleasurable anticipation is almost tangible. And by pleasurable anticipation, of course, I mean the incredibly rare species, known scientifically as Churchgirleum Yawjinius getting absolutely railed in the asshole by the equally rare species, Thiccdiccaeus Cherrinus.

A strange mating ritual, one might say, as they are not quite "mating" in the traditional sense, and thus are not considered to be, as is referred to, scientifically speaking, "sinning." Good thing, too, for they are performing this semi-pseudo mating ritual within the most sacred place of worship, the church. Let us now take a closer look, and see what we may learn from this quite unlikely interaction we've stumbled upon.

~~~

Yeojin's voice jumped with every syllable she spoke. "Fuck. Yes. Choe. Rry. Fuck. Me." The church pew she leaned over creaked each time her body lurched forward. The nails holding it to the floor weren't made for that kind of motion.

"Oh yeah Yeojin! My... peepee feels so good... in your bum!" Choerry cooed. She had to hold a particularly wide stance to get down to Yeojin's level, which meant her balls were free to swing ahead to slap Yeojin's pussy.

Neither of them were exactly dressed for a usual Sunday service, but at least Yeojin tried. She wore a "slightly modified" version of the classic religion-based school girl outfit: a very short tube top (but with straps) that would have been ever so slightly more modest if she hadn't discarded her jacket before the fucking began, a skirt that was most definitely not regulation length (for which she deserved a good spanking), socks that came up to her knees, and plain black flats.

Choerry was naked.

Nowhere to be seen in the entire church was a pair of panties (or any of Choerry's clothes for that matter), most likely because the little whores didn't wear them in the first place.

Besides the sounds of extreme not-technically-fornication, the chapel was silent, which meant it was absolutely not even a little bit remotely silent. Grunts, moans, claps, smacks, swearing, and mildly naughty words filled the air like a hymn. Depending on their denomination and if they were there, an entire choir might have joined in. On the hymn, not the sex, obviously, if it wasn’t obvious.

Choerry's butt fucking only increased in enthusiastic intensity as she drew closer and closer to orgasm, dragging Yeojin's legs further and further up the back of the pew. Eventually, Yeojin's feet left the floor and hung limp, bouncing off the old, cushionless wood. Her front half was bent over, and she gripped onto the front of the seat (though not because she noticed the subtle rocking of the pew as the nails were pulled out of the floor).

A stern, stoic, strangely stupid, feminine voice rang out from the back of the church. “In the name of all that is holy, what are you doing?!”

Though Yeojin was too dickmatized to even properly notice, Choerry squealed and jumped at the shouting, in just the right forward direction and with just the right momentum that those weak-ass pew nails couldn’t hold up to the thrust. The sudden rush toward the floor, exceptionally loud crash of wood on wood, and Choerry’s uncontrolled, crushing weight, however, certainly did get Yeojin’s attention. The two of them groaned on the floor, and only ten percent of their combined groaning at that point had anything to do with a slowly closing gaped asshole.

Time to ponder said gape was in short supply however, as they heard rushed footsteps coming their way.

“Y-Yeojin, we gotta go!” Choerry whispered far too loudly.

“Hold it right there!” shouted the new stranger.

Yeojin’s eyes shot open (like her butt). “Fuckin! Is that the goddamn priest?!”

Choerry grimaced. “Is that… Are you allowed to say that?”

The one of them more concerned with being caught than bad language pointed at the confessional booth. “Quick! In there!”

~~~

Incredible. Haven’t we already learned so much?

Now, escaping predators is often a frantic affair, and we see it is no different here with Yawjinius and Cherrinus. When a creature sees a burrow that will fit them nicely, whether or not they constructed it themselves, they will quickly resort to using it. Sometimes, they do this without taking any consequences whatsoever into account. For example, what if the burrow is one-ended, and the only way out is the way they went in, directly into the awaiting jaws of the predator?

Of course, a booth is an extremely short one-ended burrow. At least this one has doors! Let’s see if Yawjinius and Cherrinus are able to escape.

~~~

Useless fists pounded on both doors of the booth. “Hey! Get out of there! You’re not supposed to…” The doors rattled a bit. “Why are there locks on these?!”

Choerry wiped the sweat off her forehead. “I can’t believe we made it without being recognized. I’ve never run that fast in my entire life, I think.”

“Yeah yeah,” Yeojin groaned, “Well we gotta figure out what we’re going to do—Why are you standing on the seat?”

“You can see me?!”

“These mesh things obscure nothing. Of course I can. And your cock looks fucking delish. Stand back for a second.”

Yeojin maneuvered around awkwardly in the cramped space until she was nearly upside down and able to kick a hole in the wooden mesh. Doing so resulted in a frightened squeal from Choerry, and a "What in God's name?!" from the dumb shit outside the booth.

It took no time at all for Choerry to get the point and stick her dick through the impromptu glory hole. Apprehension would have been warranted, since the hole was encircled by splintered wood, but something something joke about her hardwood being harder.

The good little sucklicant she was, Yeojin knelt on the seat and wrapped her throat around Choerry’s Thiccdiccaeus.

"Yeojin, your bum feels different!"

Yeojin gagged in response.

"Oh." Choerry backed up slightly to make small thrusts into the orifice she then realized her cock was actually inside. Thankfully she was not stupid enough to think an asshole could gag on a dick. In the literal sense. The asshole that chased them into the confessional booth, however, could.

"I'm getting a key!" the asshole shouted. Her rapidly disappearing footsteps proved her to be a bitch of her word.

While it would have been an ideal opportunity for Yeojin and Choerry to escape in that moment, they decided not to, because deepthroat glory holes in confessional booths are tight as hell.

“Y-Yeojin, your mouth is tight as heck.”

Yeojin gagged in response.

Choerry began bucking, barely bothering to back off or brake, betting the bitch below would brave the barrage. Brewing in her balls, a big batch of baby batter was braced to bust… Boobs.

All of that was to say, Choerry was about to add to the mess on Yeojin’s side of the booth. Already, ejected spit was dripping down Yeojin’s side of the wall, and had drenched the front of Yeojin’s outfit. Not much of it had reached the bare wooden seat, given the astounding absorbency of Yeojin’s clothing, but the seat was still drenched. As one might recall, Yeojin’s panties were nowhere to be found, and her unused pussy and asshole leaked natural and unnatural lubrications respectively at a truly bonkers rate.

“I’m gonna… I’m gonna come, Yeojin!”

Yeojin gagged in response. Really, it couldn’t be expected that she would do anything else. She had a big cock fully blocking off her entire esophagus. For posterity’s sake, what she would have said out loud was “For as excited as I am to have your load bloating my stomach, I am exasperated with your insistence on not using adult sexual terminology. Don’t say ‘come.’ Just say ‘cum.’ Say it with me. Cum. Cum. Cum. Fuck it, I’d even accept ‘climax,’ or something equally as romance novel-esque. You know what? Be clinical about it. Just say ‘ejaculate’ and—gag gargle gargle gargle gag gag gargle.” at which point, Yeojin would have become just drunk enough on her asphyxiation to stop thinking in so much detail.

The cum was not to come, however. The lock on Choerry’s side clicked open and she shrieked as she was pulled out. Yeojin’s throat was vacated in one, swift, barely splinter-avoidant motion. Immediately after, there was silence.

Until Yeojin's door flew open and she was yanked out of the booth!

Yeojin screamed, "Let me go, you goblin fuc—... goddammit Vivi! Who the fuck invited you?"

Yes, it was the worst, dumbest, and most pointless member of Loona, Vivi, who was the buzzkill. She was dressed up like some stupid collar-wearing priest. Or she was just making clergy look bad. It was hard to say.

"Yeojin! You can't have sex in a church! What are you thinking?"

"Boo you whore. Where's Choerry?"

Vivi shrugged. "She ran away as soon as she saw me. Real fast."

"Who wouldn't, you dumb bitch?"

"Ugh! Come with me, already."

"Why not? I have nothing better to do now that Choerry and her magnificent cock are gone."

~~~

Vivi has no scientific classification, as she is a bitch, and no scientist wants to be associated with her. But I guess she has to be in this documentary now that she's here, so we'll call her Stoopidiot Vivwhore or something. Honestly, nobody cares.

Well anyway, Vivwhore is taking Yawjinius to the church's office, but it feels like there's no more point to narrating here because Vivwhore ruins everyone's time. Really, I'm sorry she's even here.

I'll go get a stiff drink and come back a little drunk. Maybe then I can put up with her bullshi—Hey, it's Jinso—I mean Skinnierbutlongershlongius Jinsolitus! She's already completely stark-ass naked! And she's kicking Vivwhore out of the office! Excellent! Now we can continue this documentary in high spirits.

It looks like Jinsolitus is also interested in mating with Yawjinius. A dance of courtship begins. As we can see, this dance is quite frenzied. Yawjinius obviously wants to mate as well, having gone unfinished with Cherrinus, but she needs to test the fitness of her potential new mate. She can do this by... trying to escape?

Yawjinius wants to mate, I'm quite sure. Yes, she is merely testing Jinsolitus with a race in the very limited space of the church office, and making sure Jinsolitus is capable of dodging predators by throwing bibles at her. Ouch, that one looks like it hurt. And there goes Yawjinius, vaulting over the desk and toward—OH DAMN, did you see the way Jinsolitus caught her right out of the air and slammed her on the desk?! That looked unnecessarily painful! I guess that's what she gets for leaving some of her clothes on. I mean, that's a rough mating dance! Oh, and now she's pushing her dick down Yawjinius' throat.

~~~

The desk inched forward with every one of Jinsoul's violent thrusts.

"Fucking slut! That hurt!" Jinsoul shouted, referring to the reversed, red, hilariously accurate imprint of a "Holy Bible's" front cover on the side of her face.

Yeojin gagged in response. A few times. A bunch actually. It may not have really been an intentional response. Her throat wasn't massively stretched like it was when it had Choerry’s dick in it, but Jinsoul's felt like it was nearly battering the entrance to her stomach. Her response to Jinsoul might have actually been the way she clawed at Jinsoul's ass and kicked wildly in the air (hard to tell). Having her back slammed on a pastor's desk knocked the wind out of her, and it didn't make meaningful communication any easier. All this ignoring the huge cock blocking her vocal chords.

Jinsoul snatched Yeojin’s arms away fromher butt. "Bitch! Cut it out! Ugh!"

To immobilize Yeojin entirely, Jinsoul clambered onto her knees on top of the desk, pushing Yeojin down so her ass hung off the opposite side, and trapped Yeojin’s elbows in the crooks of her legs. This meant Jinsoul couldn't achieve the perfect angle on Yeojin’s head to insert herself entirely, but her dick was, as cannot be understated, fucking long as hell.

Yeojin heaved her lower body up in one last attempt at a kick to Jinsoul's face, but Jinsoul easily caught her feet and held her in place. Yeojin was thoroughly stuck, with her short skirt flipping down (or up, from her perspective) to expose her most vulnerable zone to Jinsoul. Talk about a mistake. Or a predicament. Or a... you know… definitely consensual upside-down throat fuck? Emphasis on that question mark.

"You're fucking mine, you little sex toy!" Jinsoul released a foot briefly to three-finger slap Yeojin's clitoris like a carnival hammer game with a defective button, and she clearly intended to win the biggest teddy bear.

If there were ever a scream that could be described as both muffled and blood-curdling, it was Yeojin's in that moment. Her fingers flexed uselessly in the air to either side of Jinsoul's hips.

Jinsoul shuddered and bounced her ass as hard as she could without accidentally releasing Yeojin’s arms. Her pussy dripped onto Yeojin’s nose, and the juice rolled down to mix with Yeojin’s flowing tears. "Yeah! Do that again! I love your vibration mode! Haha!"

Another full-force smack broke the bell at the tippy top of the game, splashing a surprising quantity of Yeojin’s underutilized pussy juice onto Jinsoul's face. Yeojin lost any control she had been trying to hold onto. Her burning lungs tried (and failed) to shove air out around Jinsoul's cock, only serving to increase Jinsoul's enjoyment. Her muscles also failed, and a stream of piss fired out of her, nearly straight up and back down in a short arc to soak her skirt, top, face, and Jinsoul's stomach. She didn't really register the taste as it reached Jinsoul's cock and was therefore shoved against her tongue. The desk was drenched. Expense papers, tithe reports, and even more bibles were saturated in slightly yellow liquid. It would be a genuinely gross shame for Yeojin to drown like that, which was not too far from happening.

It was a good thing Jinsoul was always a quick shot!

With one last bounce of her ass, Jinsoul sighed heavily and emptied herself almost directly into Yeojin’s stomach. She released Yeojin’s legs, letting them thump limply against the front of the desk, so she could squeeze her own tits and pinch her own nipples (probably since Yeojin’s were still hiding under a piss-soaked shirt).

Thirty or so belly-bloating seconds later, Jinsoul made the long, long, long, we-get-it-your-dick-is-very long slide out of Yeojin’s mouth. Seriously, that was like a half a meter of cock. Or it just seemed to be that big in comparison to tiny little Yeojin.

The last few centimeters allowed Yeojin’s airways to open up. She gasped and coughed and frantically thrashed around, slapping Jinsoul's legs. Puddles of her piss on the desk spread around as she hacked up her lungs.

"You insane fuckwad—hurk—shitfish!" She managed to scream between coughs. "You wanna fuckin' KILL ME?!"

Jinsoul stood on the desk, feet on either side of Yeojin’s head, wiggling her toes in the piss puddles. "Well like sometimes, yeah," she said, deadpan, "Hey, you're covered in pee."

"Bitch, I fucking know!"

~~~

Wow. What a turn of events that couldn’t have been predicted.

Hey look, now Jinsolitus is urinating on Yawjinius. That's a post-mating ritual, despite having not mated properly. Yes it was, as is Yawjinius repeatedly punching Jinsolitus in the dick. Oh, don't worry, nobody’s getting hurt. We can hope. I mean definitely not. Trust me, I’m a biologist*.

Poor Yawjinius. It seems that Jinsolitus is not simply a mate, but a predator in disguise, like one of those various invertebrates that engages in breeding and then immediately eats their mate. Though, in this particular situation, no breeding occurred, even if Yawjinius does appear to be a little bit bloated. And also in this particular situation, Jinsolitus is probably not going to eat her, if for no other reason than eating someone covered in mixed piss would be nasty. Eating each other isn’t really a thing in this ecosystem, actually.

If Yawjinius now wants to continue her day of faux mating, but not fornicating because they’re still in a church, she must now decide if she will attempt to further engage Jinsolitus, or leave unsatisfied.

~~~

Yeojin flicked the runny fluids off her eyelashes and glared at Jinsoul. “If I wasn’t so horny, I’d tell you to leave… but are you going to fuck my ass now or not?”

“I believe we’d both have to leave, considering we don’t own this place,” Jinsoul said with a shrug, “But, uh, no. I’m going to rail your mouth agai—”

The office door slammed open.

Vivi stepped into the office, pointing accusingly at Yeojin. “There she is! The demon possessed!”

Yeojin and Jinsoul stared back. Jinsoul was the first to speak. “You gonna finish that sentence?”

Vivi’s stupid hand faltered. “H-huh?”

“You said… ugh.” Jinsoul put her fingers to her forehead. “The demon possessed who? Yeojin?”

“Yeah.”

“Why are you such a moron, Vivi? Why are you even here?”

Rather than engage in the conversation, Yeojin started fingering her ass. She was really missing Choerry’s contribution to her pleasure.

“I-I’m not! I brought some exorcists with me so they can expel the demon.”

On cue, Heejin and Haseul walked through the door behind Vivi. Though, to her surprise (and let’s face it: everything surprises someone that dumb), both of them were entirely naked and stroking their cocks.

“Are we… in the right place?” Heejin asked, looking concerned.

“Yuuup yup!” Haseul chimed, biting her lip for a moment and doing double finger guns at Yeojin. “Gonna push that demon out her mouth from the opposite end!”

~~~

Collosollacockium Heejineulum and Gargantuagockus Hahsullicus are not, in fact, exorcists. Both of them, however, are hung (in the sense that their dicks are relatively close to Cherrinus’ length and girth, that is).

With Jinsolitus now chasing Vivwhore out of the office for a second time, perhaps Yawjinius now has the opportunity to properly mate. But there are two potential mates for her to choose from! Both appear to be physically fit, capable, and good for passing on desirable qualities to their offspring. Perhaps a contest is in order to determine which of the two will continue their genetic—Wait, right. They're just here to fuck her ass. Breeding would imply vaginal intercourse, but they can't do that because they're in a church. What a silly mistake for a very professional biologist* to make.

Either way, they still need to determine who gets to do the honors. "The honors" being Yawjinius' butthole. Let's observe and see how they—Or Hahsullicus can just force Heejineulum to go first. Well, I guess they're going for it. Let's continue to watch.

~~~

Yeojin was on her side on the desk, with Heejin spooning her. Heejin was grimacing, biting down on her lips.

“The fuck’s wrong with you, Heejin?” Yeojin asked.

“… It’s in my hair…”

“What is? The piss? No duh, Herlock. That’ll happen when you lie down in it.”

“Haseul pushed me… Why are we doing this here?”

“She pushed me too. Whatcha gonna do about it? The correct answer is ‘fuck your ass.’”

Haseul, standing between their legs, laughed, “Oooh, it’s not so bad Heejin. See?” She picked up one of the piss-saturated bibles and licked the cover. Heejin looked like she might puke, but Haseul smacked her lips a couple of times, trying to pick up on the taste. “Huh… is that yours or Jinsoul’s?”

Yeojin scowled. “Probably both. Can we just…?”

“Oh totally,” Haseul said and gave the book another lick before tossing it over her shoulder and dropping to her knees.

A moment later, Yeojin felt a hand spreading her asshole from one side, and Heejin’s eyes shot open. A quiet slurping sound gave Yeojin the impression that Haseul was licking or sucking Heejin’s dick.

One more moment later, Heejin’s cock was pushed up against Yeojin’s half-spread hole and shoved in. “Aw yeah, that works,” Yeojin moaned in delight. “E-ew, fuck,” Heejin moaned in also-delight-but-still-also-disgust.

Heejin’s thrusts were long and slow, but always ended with a quick pound, rippling her thighs and Yeojin’s butt. Each one spiked Yeojin’s head with sexual power. She might have been a little turned off to see the way Heejin nervously avoided touching as many wet surfaces as possible, including herself, but that’s what’s so great about the spooning position!

Haseul strolled around the desk, pushing pens, papers, and crucifixes off to clatter and/or shlop to the floor. Her focus remained on her members though, watching the way they (mostly Yeojin) writhed on the soaked surface.

“Fuck, Yeojin,” Heejin breathed. It seemed that was all she could manage to say, but Yeojin knew the implication: Her asshole was tight, it milked Heejin’s whole cock, and it needed to be painted with cum. The usual, really. She reached back to sensually cradle Heejin’s head, unable to see Heejin cringing away from her wet hand.

Haseul, on the other hand, she could see, climbing onto the desk on her hands and knees before dropping down, brushing her tits through the remaining puddles. She lifted Yeojin’s head a bit awkwardly to the side. “Open your mouth for me, baby.”

Yeojin did as she was told, and Haseul kissed her deeply. However, “kiss” in this case meant “tongue fuck” and “deeply” in this case meant that Haseul was licking parts of her that are far enough in the body as to have no slang words to describe them. Under most circumstances, it could have been quite uncomfortable, but with Heejin’s colossal cock pumping her ass and the surprising tenderness that Haseul tongue fucked her with, Yeojin found herself literally gushing.

“I think I can taste a liiittle bit of Jinsoul’s cum in there,” Haseul said after who-knows-how-many minutes of licking the entire interior of Yeojin’s mouth.

Perfectly on cue, Yeojin burped, filling her mouth with the smell of the gallon of fish jizz sloshing around her stomach. “Yup.”

“That and, ya’ know, the pee.”

A loud “hurk” came from behind Yeojin, and Haseul giggled. “Aw, Heejin! Are you okay?”

“Sorry… That’s just… nasty.” Heejin slowed down her thrusting considerably.

Yeojin rolled her eyes and twisted her upper body so she could personally deliver a look of boredom and disappointment.

With a devious smirk, Haseul slinked off the desk and around so she could lean over Heejin’s head. “You poor baby. I promise it’s not so bad! I’ll tell you what. If you make out with our little froggy while you fuck her, I’ll rewaaard you—”

Yeojin couldn’t hear most of what Haseul then whispered in Heejin’s ear, but Heejin’s expression shifted from consternation to surprise, and from surprise to desperation. Whatever the reward was, it was good, and it ended with Haseul pulling away, but reaching down to swirl a finger around Heejin’s nipple. “And when we get home, I’ll give you a nice…” She lightly pinched, forcing Heejin to moan. “Hot… looong… bath.”

Yeojin watched a sudden hunger overtake Heejin’s eyes, and had no time to react to the pounce. Heejin’s tongue was battling hers in a fraction of a second, and her thrusts into Yeojin’s asshole turned feral. Yeojin was definitely not complaining.

The ferocity of Heejin’s fucking distracted Yeojin from whatever Haseul was doing. There was only a split second, when Heejin backed off to gasp desperately at some new sensation, that Yeojin saw Haseul, one hand hidden behind Heejin’s lovely hips, and the other pointing her cock roughly at the place where Heejin’s cock met Yeojin’s ass. Alarms fired in her brain, but she couldn’t raise a finger to protest as Heejin wrapped her in a sloppy, moist bear hug.

As expected, a slight pressure at the rim of Yeojin’s butt turned into an unimaginable stretch, shoved in deeper by Heejin’s cock. A shock of adrenaline ran through her entire body and time slowed down. Haseul was pushing Yeojin’s legs out of the way and slamming into her asshole alongside Heejin, but totally out of sync. Her movements were smoother than Heejin’s, and far deeper considering her more advantageous position. Yeojin screamed into Heejin’s mouth, but nobody checked to see if the scream came from pain or pleasure (it was pleasure).

After an eternity, Heejin loosened her constriction, and Yeojin didn't know what to do with her hands. She flapped them around, covered the parts of her face not overwhelmed by Heejin, grabbed her own tits under her shirt, held her knees back, pulled her hair, groped at Haseul, latched onto Heejin’s arm, and punched the air in rapid succession over and over and not necessarily in that order. Her expression changed just as fast between agony, ecstasy, and anything else that might indicate she was losing her mind to the double anal fucking. And when Heejin separated their faces for air, Yeojin struggled to say more than one repeated word.

"Fuck. Fuck. Fu—ungh! Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. AaaAAAH! Fuck. Fuck. Fuck."

“Mommy…” Heejin moaned, looking up at Haseul, “Your cock feels so good squeezed against mine.”

Haseul smiled. “And your butt looks so cute with my finger in it, baby girl.”

“Dear god,” Yeojin managed to mumble, ignoring the awkward, sexually charged lovey doviness.

~~~

That double penetration went so much more smoothly than I ever could have anticipated, sheesh. I—Well I’m not god, but what can I do for you?

“I’d do anything for one more cock right now.”

Hold up. What are you doing, Yawjinius?

“The fuck do you mean?”

I mean how are you talking to me right now?

“You’re here and so am I, fuckwit. Do I get another cock in my ass or not?”

Now hang on there. You’re currently being fucked in a church office.

“How would you know that if you’re not god? And by the way I think it’s called a ‘sacristy.’”

Nobody knows what a sacristy is! When you say “office” a very similar image is conjured in the mind to what a sacristy looks like! Not to mention, “office” is far more non-denominational, and far less likely to cause anybody specific to get offende—I… what… dear viewer, I’m sorry for this, uh… technical difficulty? Yes, a perfectly normal technical difficulty that documentaries often experience.

“Viewer? You got cameras around here?”

No, no. Nothing so crude. I think “viewer” was the wrong term. I should have said “reader.”

“Well that’s a fuckin’ shame. I was hoping to get a recording of this.”

~~~

“Is… Yeojin okay?” Heejin asked.

“Thaaat’s a good question. Can you tell what she’s saying?”

Yeojin’s muttering was nearly inaudible.

“I think she implied she was talking to god…”

“Oh. Yiiikes.”

“Should we… stop fucking her? Give her a break? A different kind, I mean… since her mind is clearly fucked up.”

“Nah, she’s fine.”

~~~

“Whatever, god. Are you going to answer my prayer or not?”

To reiterate, not god. There will be no prayer answering.

“I don’t care what you fucking call it. Grant my wish. Make my dream come true. Third cock, chop chop. Make it snappy.”

…

“Are you trying to IGNORE me?!”

Members of the order Loonatoris prefer to nest in groups—

“HEY! Perk them ears up, home slice!”

Here, they’re well-protected, and they can mate endlessly in the colorful shadows cast by panes of stained glass—

“Fuck your stained glass! Heejin and Haseul’s dicks are great, but I want more!”

Could you get off my back? Maybe I can’t just make a third penis randomly appear. Did you consider that?

“Yeah right. I believe in you. You got this, god.”

Oh my… Look, Jinsoul’s out there somewhere. Just go find her.

“Pff, nah. She only wants to fuck my mouth.”

Vivi then.

“Ew, no.”

Good point. Nobody wants that. Well what about Choerry?

“Look. I’m far too busy getting double ass-railed to go traipsing around searching for that weirdo. Can’t you just call someone for me?”

I can’t call anyon—You know what? Fine. Fuck it. Oh wow. Another fascinating creature is on her way into the church right now who might want to mate with Yawjinius. Are you happy now?

“That sounded very sarcastic, but yes. What the hell is ‘Yawjinius’ though?”

It’s obviously you. It’s your scientific classification.

“Weird, but okay. Thanks god. I owe you one.”

Not god.

“Sure. Whatever you say.”

Unbelievable… Alright, where were we? Yes, Hahsullicus and Heejineulum have lifted Yawjinius off the desk and into their arms and they’re carrying her back out into the chapel. Did you catch why they decided to do that? I was super distracted. Oh well, doesn’t matter. They’re, uh, taking her out into the open to… dammit, I’m going to go get that drink. I’ll come back for the science stuff in a minute.

~~~

“Phew!” Heejin wiped her forehead as she laid Yeojin back on the lectern and glared at Haseul. “She is so much heavier than she looks… Two people should be able to lift her, like, twice as easily as that…”

“Huh?” asked Haseul, who hadn’t broken a sweat. “Oh! Oooh yeah. What’s she been eating? Raw iron?”

Yeojin gasped and sat up, sliding a couple centimeters down the pair’s dicks. All three of them moaned a little.

Haseul recovered first. “Heeey, Yeojin! Finally awake?”

“Wh-what? What happened?”

“Oh honeeey,” Haseul cooed, and stroked Yeojin’s hair, “You started speaking in tongues to someone who wasn’t there.”

Heejin cut in. “Then you started cumming, but it was like… a super long orgasm. After a minute, you just passed out.”

“And so you carried me into the most fucking obviously visible part of the church without even taking your cocks out of my asshole? Just right out in the open where anyone could catch us?”

“Yyyup,” said Haseul, “Guess we could have thought that through a little better.”

Yeojin squinted. “What the fuck are you talking about? That’s exactly what I would have done too.”

Heejin shivered. Droplets of piss fell out of her hair and onto the chancel. “We could have at least looked around for some towels.”

“Just use that.” Haseul pointed at the altar, over which was a very soft-looking cloth.

“But there’s… candles and shit on it.”

“Nobody cares that you’re soaked in pee,” Yeojin said, poking Heejin in the boob, “We’re all soaked in pee. Blame Jinsoul. She’s a bitch.”

Haseul sighed, leaning against the lectern. “Awww, but I didn’t get soaked in—”

“That’s your own damn fault,” Yeojin interrupted, “Now help me find the third cock I made god promise me.”

Heejin and Haseul stared at each other for at least ten seconds. Haseul was the first to start pulling her dick out of Yeojin. “Maaaybe we should go home. Or a hospit—Ow!”

Yeojin grabbed and dug her nails into Haseul’s hips and held her in place. “No, let’s wait. God promised.”

Heejin fidgeted with her fingers. “Yeojin… I don’t think he promised you anything…”

“God wasn’t a ‘he,’ bitch.”

“Sorry…? She?”

“No, no. You shouldn’t make assumptions about god’s gende—”

Just then, the front doors to the church burst open, flooding the chapel with light. A single silhouette of a fairly curvy body with a massive schlong hanging between its legs stood in the doorway, striking a powerful stance. The doors then slowly shut, creaking loudly, but the figure shoved them apart again and took several steps forward. Once the intense backlight was gone, it was apparent who the newcomer was.

Yeojin said it first, whispering the name, “Enormustothepointofabsurditinicumphallussis Hiyunjicum…”

“What?” Heejin and Haseul said simultaneously.

~~~

Alright, I’m back. Nothing weird better have happ—How does she know Hyunjin’s scientific classification?!

~~~

All eyes (six of them, to be specific, since her own are not included) were on Hyunjin. She looked from side to side and shifted uncomfortably. “Why is everyone looking at me?”

Haseul was the first to speak. “Yeojin’s prayer was answered!”

“I didn’t pray though, apparently” Yeojin said. Her voice sounded a little wet from the drool, “But Hyunjin is a literal gift from god. Hyunjin! Get up here!”

“Why?!” Hyunjin shouted back across the church, “You sound like a crazy person!”

Heejin snickered. “That’s nothing new.”

“I want you to fuck my ass at the same time as Haseul and Heejin!”

“Okay! My mistake! You sound like an insane person!”

“You just walked into a church totally naked!” Yeojin screamed, “Who the fuck is the crazy person here?!”

“I just watched Haseul and Heejin do it a minute ago and I’m sixty percent sure nobody saw me! I’m just doing what they’re doing!”

“What does it look like they’re doing right now?!”

There was a long pause. Echoes from the shouting match finally died down.

“That’s some solid logic!” Hyunjin shouted, “I’ll be right there!”

“So… what exactly are we doing now?” Heejin asked.

Yeojin shrugged. “I thought it was pretty simple. The two of you keep fucking me, and Hyunjin fucks me too.”

Haseul briefly attempted to reason things out. “I think she meant—Weeell,” and she quickly gave up, “Aaalright. Heejin, grab my shoulder with that hand… Yup, perfect, and now we each lift one of her legs.”

Heejin watched Haseul suspiciously to make sure she was doing her part as they hoisted Yeojin up into a throne made of their arms and dicks. The jostling and unintentional thrusting made Yeojin close her eyes and whine. She was getting antsy about the impending triple penetration. She wouldn’t have to wait long… as long as no more odd interruptions occurred.

When Yeojin opened her eyes, she lurched back in shock. Hyunjin was already directly in front of her like some kind of perverted, holy ghost (not even in an offensive way if you note the placement of the comma).

“Are you ready Yeojin?” Hyunjin asked, with her cock already poised between Heejin’s and Haseul’s.

Yeojin looked down. There were a few dicks among all idols that were known for being exceptionally large. Karina’s, Shownu’s, Johnny’s, Handong’s, and a few others’. Hyunjin’s was a secret contender, only having been unleashed upon someone outside of Loona for the first time within the last year. Luda had advised that “my pussy will never be the same,” shortly after the second to last Queendom episode’s recording, and had walked with a limp until the day before their final performance.

Every other member of Loona, including Yeojin, had their experience with Hyunjin, and were highly unlikely to be rendered catatonic. Yeojin was, however, having her doubts. Two well above average dicks were already enough to get her to meet god but a third? And Hyunjin’s humongous hammer, to be specific? She was likely to meet Chuuthulhu.

~~~

To reiterate, not god. Not an elder god either.

~~~

And yet, Yeojin absolutely could not say no. She nodded once, and her asshole was swiftly stretched out to an incomprehensible degree. She hung her head back in a silent scream of theorized-and-yet-surprising ecstasy. Surely nothing could fill her ass more than these three cocks. That is not foreshadowing. Seriously, nothing could fill her ass more than those three cocks in that moment. Nobody else was going to fit, logistically, in the space around Yeojin, to be able to put another cock in her ass. Her throat, perhaps, if one were to stand on someone else’s shoulders, but certainly not her ass. The three cocks in her were overall the volumetrically largest available. Nobody was going to leave the church to get Karina, for example, to replace one of the cocks currently in place just to increase the amount of cock filling Yeojin’s asshole. This story is dumb enough. One should not expect more people to randomly appear and take part in this anal gangbang. The cover for this story has already been made and while it was made with minimal effort, no more effort needs to be put into it. Even if they really got in close to each other like they were trying to take a group selfie, not a single additional person could possibly get where they needed to be to insert themselves to be the fourth cock inside Yeojin. No, you’re convincing yourself.

Heejin whined, writhed, and struggled to stay in place as Hyunjin slowly sawed in and out. Haseul grinned, bit her lip, and giggled. Hyunjin herself stared hungrily at Yeojin’s wet tube top-covered tits.

“What’s wrong, baby?” Haseul asked, dropping a hand to grope Heejin’s ass.

Heejin’s response was to first say, “M-mommy, she’s smushing our dicks together so tight,” and second to immediately lean over to kiss Haseul.

Haseul sweetly returned the kiss and crooned lovingly.

“Stating the obvious during sex is so weird…” Hyunjin murmured before speeding up her thrusts.

All of the women moaned in a four-part chorus of chaos and disharmony, nearly drowning out the sloppy noise of lube slipping around everybody’s dicks and the more subtle sound of the fish jizz in Yeojin’s stomach being sloshed around.

Yeojin’s legs flopped up and down by Hyunjin’s sides like excessive ragdoll physics. She was no longer an active participant (not that she had been for the last several encounters), merely allowing the lust and unblinking enthusiasm of mostly Hyunjin to move her as needed to bring them all ever closer to paradisiacal simultaneous orgasm.

The simultaneous part didn’t include Yeojin. She was already cumming, hard and repeatedly, so fast and frequently as to have resembled a genuine medical emergency…

~~~

“Yo, god.”

Dammit, not god! Now what?!

“Came back to say thanks. I figured I sounded a little ungrateful before, so… thanks for the third cock.”

Honestly I had nothing to do with—Actually, you’re welcome. Can we go back to what we were doing now, separately?

“Yeah. Just one question though. This three cocks in my ass thing is kind of the greatest thing of all time, and in my head I described it a moment ago as ‘so good I’m gonna fucking die.’ Am I about to fucking die?”

How should I know?

“I would assume you’d know, being g—I mean a documentary narrator.”

Hm. I suppose there have been one or two moments in the last few minutes in which your potential demise has been mentioned, and there could be a whole circle of life narrative in here.

“Wow. Fucked right to death. That’s pretty metal.”

Ferrous indeed, but no. I’d say you’re fine.

“Living would probably be the ideal outcome. I’m gonna have to experience this triple penetration again, for sure… Damn, I’m such a fucking slut.”

I believe Jinsolitus used the term sex toy.

“Haha, alright that works. You’re cool, god. You know that?”

Definitely not.

“Not cool? What a nerd.”

No, I mean god. Not god, you scoundrel.

“I’m gonna call someone at Second Ring to tell them to name a fleshlight that looks like me ‘Scoundrel.’”

Sure. Okay… Ah, the circle of life. And by that I mean nobody is dying and everybody is having a great time fucking Yeojin’s ass or occasionally her mouth. Her ass is the circle, though somewhat triangular at the moment, and she is feeling extra alive. Ergo: circle of life.

~~~

Heejin halted her kiss with Haseul. “Hey, I’m going to cum soon… Where should—”

“Wow, me too,” interrupted Hyunjin.

“Inside me! Inside!” Yeojin screamed, her lack of volume control now a consequence of her five dozenth orgasm.

Heejin squinted at Hyunjin as they both continued to bounce Yeojin up and down between them. “It hasn’t been that long. You’re cumming already?”

“Hey, some people just jizz sooner than others,” Jinsoul said.

Everybody except Yeojin looked down. Jinsoul was sitting on the floor behind Haseul, and was pushing a very large metal cup into the center of the gangbang.

Hyunjin glanced side to side, not at anybody in particular. “Are we doing a countdown or something?”

Haseul stroked Hyunjin’s arm. “You can cum aaany time you would like. I would love to feel your batter covering my cock and Heejin’s, packing this little froggy sooo full of—”

A squeak from Heejin distracted Haseul from continuing, “Yes… mommy!”

The first and likely smallest load was pumped out of Heejin and into the very cramped interior of Yeojin’s butt. Liquid also came out of Yeojin’s mouth, but it was drool. The hot, sticky, not-piss filled every bit of space it could reach before some had to be ejected down and out from between the three dicks and into Jinsoul’s big cup. The cup is probably foreshadowing.

With that, Heejin triggered Hyunjin’s orgasm, and Haseul figured she might as well cum too. Their combined semen blasted out of every nook and gap. Yeojin’s orgasms continued throughout, overloading her mind. Her tongue fell out of her mouth and her eyes rolled. Being fucked silly was kind of one of her hallmarks, but being fucked silly into endless orgasms on three dicks at once was a nice departure from the norm (the norm was generally one to three orgasms).

Hyunjin was the first to pull out of Yeojin, her dick being followed by a massive spurt of semen before Yeojin’s ass closed up again. She wasn’t quite gaped enough to let everything out while still plugged up with two more cocks. When Haseul and Heejin pulled out at the same time though, an absolute torrent of cum overfilled Jinsoul’s big cup thing and pooled all over the floor around it, quickly covering everyone’s feet.

Jinsoul picked up the cup. “Yeah, this will do nicely.”

Stumbling back (and thus revealing she wasn’t doing anything to help hold Yeojin up), Haseul looked Jinsoul up and down. “Yooou’re not planning on forcing Yeojin to drink all of that are you? Also where’d you get that?”

“Trust me. If you weren’t here to stop me, I’d be forcing this shit down Yeojin’s face with a funnel and a leaf blower. But as it stands I have other plans. And this old thing? It was in a corner somewhere with a plaque that said ‘holy water.’ Didn’t seem important so I dumped it.”

Hyunjin took Haseul’s step away as her cue to do the same, and dropped Yeojin’s legs, ceremoniously because they were in a church but no different from how she’d drop Yeojin normally. Heejin may have been strong, but the sudden gravitational force broke her grip. Yeojin flopped onto the floor, barely conscious, pouring jizz from her ass, and laying in a lake of it.

As the only one with any shame in the church, apparently, Heejin blushed. “Sorry… she slipped.”

Haseul shrugged. “She’s alright. She even managed to get this far without a drop of cum on her face.”

“Except,” Jinsoul noted, “I came in her face, and pissed on it.”

Hyunjin scowled. “Wait, is that why she was all wet?”

“Yes. She also pissed on herself,” Jinsoul stated.

“Oh…” Hyunjin started to walk away.

Yeojin’s eyes fluttered open. “Fuck… Am I still alive?”

Haseul knelt down in the lake of cum and patted Yeojin’s forehead. “You sure are! Aaand you’re a fantastic, field-tested triple cock sleeve!”

Yeojin sat up, jizz dripping off of her back and hair. As soon as she turned around, rapid footsteps approached, and suddenly Choerry dropped to her knees next to Haseul, furiously jerking herself off.

“I’m arriving, Yeojin! Please take my white stuff!”

Nobody had a good reaction for Choerry’s arrival, or for her arrival. Copious quarts of cum coated her quarry’s countenance, completely covering Yeojin, cranium to clitoris.

Yeojin wiped globs of cum off of her eyes. “Where the fuck did you run off to, Choerry?”

Choerry twitched as her orgasm died down. “Well I kind of hid in the rafters, and then behind that thing.” She pointed at the altar.

Haseul laughed. “Well, at least one specific person got lost and hasn’t showed up again.”

Jinsoul hopped off the chancel and past the knocked-over pew. “Not exactly.”

“What’s that mean?” Heejin asked as she helped Yeojin to her feet with no small amount of difficulty as they both slipped a bit here and there. Everybody made their way toward the exit, moving a bit slowly for Yeojin’s benefit, leaving a trail of jizztastic gooeyness.

Against the far wall, everybody saw what Jinsoul was talking about and collectively groaned in disgust because it was that bitch whore stupid bitch Vivi. She was upside down, shoulders on the floor, back against the wall, and legs hanging down next to her head. Her priest outfit was quite disheveled and missing the pants at first glance, but at second glance it was clear that her pants had been used to tie her arms behind her back and to a curtain’s bottom pole.

“Ugh,” Yeojin moaned, “You didn’t just kick her all the way out?”

Jinsoul put a hand up. “Calm down yall. It’s not like I fucked her. Besides, this way we can go home without having to deal with her shit.” She hefted the holy water (or rather, holy cum) basin a little higher. “And also…”

Vivi looked desperately at the other members for help and tried to say something. That’s when everybody noticed her priest’s collar had been detached from where it had been and shoved into her mouth as a makeshift gag. And what a gag it was! Nobody needed to hear that dumb whore’s voice.

With a grunt, Jinsoul tossed the contents of the basin onto Vivi, drenching her in mixed cum and all the shame a terrible person like her deserves.

~~~

And so, Churgirleum Yawjinius and her friends, not including Vivwhore, stepped out of the church’s front doors, into the beautiful light of spring midday, enjoying a hearty laugh.

Yes, spring. The leaf canopy is getting denser as creatures play beneath. The shade provided will be important, as summer creeps ever closer.

For now, though, the clean, crisp air revitalizes all. The occasional light rain shower washes away any of the grime left from winter, and memories of the cold are long gone.

I think we’ve all discovered some new kinks here today, haven’t we, dear viewers? I’ll leave you with this fact, definitely about nature: Art is pointless. Exuberant and wonderful, but pointless. We say that we may be advanced by art and yet it does no such thing. We, nevertheless, are defined by our art, as are swaths of time. Pointless, art may be, but it is necessary.

Documentary fuckin’ accomplished.

~~~

*The narrator is not a biologist. You better fucking not be reading this footnote mid-story. Get back up there and finish reading the actual fic, dweeb!

#loona smut #kpop smut #yeojin smut

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