This episode is incredible and this song also sticks with me, so I decided to try to make an AMV out of it! This is my first time making video ever so it's kinda bad, lol. But I still had lots of fun and I learned a lot.
For better experience, please click the video. Anyways, I hope you guys enjoy it!
The sun shines on all of himself now, and its rays make his ginger hair and olive skin feel even warmer. Just lay down next to him and warm yourself up, as if he’s a campfire, you can be not afraid of anything. The sun definitely loves Nol. Shinae actually can relate. (с)
There must be tons of things inside Nol's mind the moment his birthday party is over. He must be mulling over what he contemplate during the week after he and his friends parted ways, what lead him up to this point.
Nol has been self-depecrating for years; he was depressed and guilty for what happened in the past. He felt like he doesn't deserve to live and be happy, even if he wanted to. He thought making friends be happy could be his way to atone his sins. But no, he feels like he made everything worse, because he lead them into danger (read: Yui) instead. He endangered them. And he already likes them so much at this point so when they parted, it just leads to another heartbreak.
Shinae calling him a fake person was just adding salt to his wound.
After spending a week mulling over her words, he came to a conclusion that no amount of good deeds he has done will ever be enough to save himself, and he needs to get over his friends because he's undeserving of their love after deceiving and hurting them; Shinae might be the catalyst of Nol's drastic change.
Making friends was a mistake; that's what he believed. That's probably what promted him to go to Alyssa's christmas party because he wanted to forget all the "mistakes" he made. He belonged with his "family," sarcastically speaking. He just wanted to stop giving a fuck to anything. Until he met Shinae again.
She lifted him up, she's using such sweet words to lure him out, she even shared her painful past to try to relate to him. Even after he wrecked her best friend's party and told her to stay away, somehow she still finds her way to save him. She even organized this little party for him. Not to mention, the awkward morphine misunderstanding; yet, she didn't leave. Just how could she stayed by his side after he hurted her from his lies and deceit? He knows how much trust issue Shinae has, so how come she still trust him? Nol really wanted to know.
Then, he saw her gift.
The oranges and the doodle: a reminder of how they meet and the first 24 hours they spent together.
The birthday note: An opposite of what she used to say (Humans suck), and the answer of his question, "why she decided to accept him the first night they met."
Seeing her gift made him realize, maybe, she is the gift all along.
Seeing the oranges and the doodles, he's reminded how lucky he is to have meet Shinae.
Seeing the birthday note, he realized how fortunate he is for asking her to be his partner.
If it wasn't for her, he probably wouldn't even make it to end of the year, and that's not an exaggeration.
She is the mirror that reminded him that he -- the Nolan inside Yeong-Gi mask -- is not okay at all.
She inspired him to try once again with his "family."
When the world told him he's unwanted, she was there to accept him.
They laughed and bickered like old friends.
She gave him a reason to return to this world.
Even after he hurted her, she still hold onto him to share their pain together.
She becomes the bridge to the people who genuinely love him.
She gives him more happiness than he could hold. She gave him reasons to keep living.
And she would not be here if it's not for his efforts to be her friend.
Making friends was not a mistake, it turns out. All the good deeds he has done, it wasn't for naught. All the pain he endured -- especially in the last 3 months -- as Yeong-Gi has finally payed off with a true, loyal friend staying by his side in this moment. She started to make him believe he (might be) wasn't that much of a bad guy, because it seemed like God has accepted some of his repentance. Making friends was not a mistake, or was it?
It's true his perseverance has payed off, but we can't deny all the adventures he went through in the last 3 months is because of Shinae. She has been a force that pushed him to be more involved with the Hiraharas, whether he likes it or not. It leads him to trauma, tears, heartbreaks, even literal injuries... Does it mean Shinae is a curse instead of a blessing?
No, of course not.
Maybe it's just as Nana said; some "mistakes" are worth it.