#yes I’ll still call myself a goth just bc it’s easier to do that but I’m not too concerned if people actually think I am or not haha

[persephonaae]

what are ur fav goth bands? :o

I mean I guess that depends on what you count as a goth band right! Cause u got your classic sorta traditional goth bands but then I think there’s also music that might not be at first glance that traditional goth sorta sense but still could be goth music? If you understand that? And my music taste is really all over the place as well

Like in terms of bands that have that traditional goth sort of intention, I enjoy Bauhaus, Buck-Tick, Siouxsie and the Banshees, and like there’s also a lot of stuff from bands that I just haven’t really listened to a lot of their stuff yet but I like one or two songs so far

And then you have bands or musicians who. Aren’t goth per-se? But definitely have strong followings from people who could be considered goth. So like I enjoy David Bowie, Oingo Boingo, The Cure, Gary Numan, Adam Ant, Faun, Lost Horizon, The Psychedelic Furs, Blackmore’s Night, Florence & The Machine, Talking Heads (that one’s very debatable but I do know goths love a funky little song and boy Talking Heads sure has a lot of those) stuff like that

Questions like that are always funny for me to answer bc like the definition of what’s “acceptably goth” and what’s not is always changing, I just try not to think too much about it and if someone ever calls me a poser, then, ah oh well so be it I don’t really care all that much because at the very least I know my taste in music fucks

[ezmarie]

hiii! so can i plz have a haikyuu matchup? my name is amelie, i’m pansexual, and go by she/they pronouns :3

(i’ll put all the info in lil columns down below)

appearance:

-around 5’1, i have lots of freckles :))

-i kinda have a resting bitch face... oops

-short, orange-ish hair & blue eyes

-i have glasses but i if i don’t have to wear them at the time, i dont

-the aesthetic thingy i’m going for is like mall goth with skater girl vibes :P

personality:

-mbti/zodiac/enneagram- INFP, cancer, 9w1

-top kins- kaoru (ohshc), sayori (ddlc), mitsuba (tbhk), poe (bsd), kaneki (tokyo ghoul), ryo (dmcb), mafuyu (given) and crona (soul eater)

interests:

-fnaf, ddlc, danganronpa, anime, drawing, star wars, harry potter, skateboarding, i might do volleyball, i’ve also done gymnastics and dance since i was a kid O_o

-fav artists- my chemical romance, mindless self indulgence, pierce the veil, mother mother, melanie martinez and ricky montgomery, (the easiest playlist to find on spotify is one called “bl4ck bl00d” and you can go to my profile from there to see all my other playlists, my personal fav is “+_+”)

other:

okay so i’m pretty quiet around ppl especially ppl i don’t know/feel very comfortable around. i’m actually pretty socially awkward. if i do know and feel comfortable around you then i’ll occasionally go on tangents of things i really like/am interested in at the moment or tell stories and stuff. i’m a pretty good listener and love to help people with their problems. i have a hard time talking about my feelings with other people though. i also have a huge fear of confrontation and commitment. i will usually go along with whatever stuff my friends want to do whether that be going out and doing stuff or staying in and relaxing. i like having fun and experiencing stuff but only with the right people. i absolutely hate conflict among those close to me and will try to avoid it at all costs. i also weirdly enough have not really a superiority complex but kind of? like i feel like i have to constantly be the best but only at things i care about, and especially when someone close to me succeeds me in doing so, i get mad at myself (if that even makes sense). if you try to talk to me and i don’t really know/feel comfortable around you, i will try to keep convos short. for some reason that comes of as sort of “cool” to some people when in reality i’m just horrified of talking to people whom i don’t know how to communicate with. if you couldn’t already tell i do have some social anxiety ^_^. i tend to be pretty disorganized and messy bc i feel more at home that way, unless it’s something i care deeply about or someone else could judge me on it. i do also care a lot about grades and being in honors classes and stuff like that. also although i do think i am “book smart” i have little common sense. :^)

okay.... i think that’s pretty much it! sorry for the info dump but thank you sm :D

(also i submitted this once but i’m pretty sure i sent it in the wrong category, but if i didn’t and i’m sending this twice i’m seriously sorry bro as i said i don’t have much common sense)

Hiiii! Yes you may, I ship you with...kuroo!!!

I was actually having trouble with matching you because I kept switching between different types of people, but kuroo was always kind of in my mind so I finally chose him. Kuroo is basically on the middle of the extroverted and introverted spectrum, he’s just kinda chill most of the time and can do both. I think that someone like you, who’s more quiet and not very socially in tune, works well with someone like him. Mostly because it probably wouldn’t work out for you to have someone who’s incredibly energetic 24/7 or someone who can’t ever talk to people, you just need someone who’s able to understand and respect your reserved nature while still pushing you a tiny bit out of your comfort zone. Obviously he’s friends with Kenma, so he knows what to do and what not to do in order to help you grow in that aspect. That being said hes also observant and recognizes your social anxiety and knows what to do. He used to even be very shy himself, so it’s not like he’s clueless in that area. He also loves when you come out of your shell and ramble on and on about something your passionate about, because he knows it doesn’t happen very often. He just finds it adorable how your eyes shine so brightly and he can see a new side of you for a while.

He loves that you care for your loved ones and try to help them with they’re problems, it just makes him see you as even more of a sweetheart. But that doesn’t mean he doesn’t notice your troubles with expressing your own feelings. He’s dealt with emotional struggles before so he knows how difficult it is to come out of your comfort zone with that stuff. He’s been able to overcome that struggle overtime, though, so he’ll just go through the same steps he took with you, and hopefully that will make it much easier for you to let your emotions out and talk about them. Kuroo knows you usually go along with what everyone else wants to do and hes completely fine with that. He used to be very shy when he was younger so he used to do the same thing. However, (only if you want to work on it you don’t need to change😌) he might try and boost your independence as long as you’re comfortable with it.

Conflict is never going to be a problem for you two. Kuroo, like I said before, is a very chill person and doesn’t ever fight unless it’s necessary, and even so he never actually thinks fighting is necessary in most situations. He would rather just calmly talk it out and work through it instead of just jumping to conclusions. That also means that he’s pretty good at confrontation, which is something you fear. He understands you hate it so he tries to make it as unnecessary as possible, but he’s going to try and warm you up to the idea. He wants you to be able to get over your fear of confrontation in a more slow and patient way, though, it won’t be forceful or anything like that. The point being kuroo isn’t one for arguing with you in any way so that’s not something you have to worry about.

Scenarios with the two of you:

•you guys just skateboarding on your neighborhood streets at sunset and you both have one Bluetooth earbud in and your just jammin out to teenagers-mcr and hayloft-mother mother while the sky turns a pretty purple

•you guys figuring out you both like a bunch of the same things so you kinda just geek out about Harry Potter, fnaf, Star Wars, and a bunch of anime’s together and you guys always talks to each other about them (immaculate taste by the way😌🤚)

•him hearing you might want to play volleyball and gets really pumped up so he immediately wants to practice with you and you kinda tell him to calm down and then he realizes he got too excited so he tries to play it off cool haha

Ahhdjs hope you like this I’m so sorry it took so long my mind shut down for like 3 days and idk why😀and ofc your good don’t worry!! :) <33

[stillgeekingout]

surprise! it’s chapter 13 of the ultimate aaron milverton crossover fic! I may have stopped my routine but I will never give up on my greatest work

previous:  1 here, 2 here, 3 here, 4 here, 5 here, 6 here, 7 here, 8 here, 9 here, 10 here, 11 here, 12 here

------

A week later, Rachel was once again visited at work. But this time, it wasn’t Aaron visiting.

“Blair? How did you-- what are you doing here?” Blair had appeared-- literally appeared-- in the middle of the store. Luckily, Rachel’s manager was in the back as usual and no other customers were around. She had believed Zoe about Blair and Alex being gods, but the teleportation still threw her off guard.

Rachel couldn’t imagine why Blair would show up out of the blue. She hadn’t gotten the impression that Blair had particularly liked her on their last encounters.

“I need to speak with you,” said Blair by way of greeting. “But first, I am going to eat some froyo.”

And with that, she began loading a cup, leaving Rachel trying and failing to think of a response. (Blair really loved froyo, according to Zoe. They had been texting constantly for a week and a lot of Zoe’s end was just stories about Alex and Blair, her coworkers, and her new friend Violet. Rachel didn’t mind. She thought it was nice how much Zoe cared about her friends.)

Blair ate her froyo in silence, filled and ate a second cup, and finally addressed Rachel. “I came to offer a proposition.”

“Ok…” She didn’t know what she had been expecting, but that wasn’t it. “What kind of proposition?”

“Well, Zoe won’t stop talking about you, and there’s all that mortal nonsense about physical distance--”

“Wait, she talks about me?” Were Alex and Blair hearing about her the way she heard about them? She hadn’t realized she would like the idea as much as she did. It felt nice to be among the people Zoe cared enough to talk about.

“When will you humans learn not to interrupt the divine when we’re speaking? Yes, I just said that she talks about you. Now, as I was saying--”

“What does she say?” She wasn’t sure what she wanted Zoe to be saying.

“You’re making me regret my proposition before I even make it.”

“Sorry, go on.”

Blair took a deep breath, eyeing Rachel as if to make sure she wouldn’t cut her off this time. “Zoe is the best human I know,” she said matter-of-factly, “and she clearly thinks highly of you. And not having you around is making her upset. My proposition is this: one of Zoe’s human friends has informed me that there is a position open at the Smithsonian, and--”

Rachel caught on to what Blair was trying to say. “Whoa, wait, I can’t move to DC!”

Blair huffed at being interrupted again. “Why not?”

“Well, my parents are here,” she said, though she had been eager to leave her parents’ house for months. “And I just met Zoe, I’m not about to Rebecca Bunch myself at her--”

“I do not know what that means.”

“It’s from a TV show.”

“Oh, one of those.”

“Don’t worry about it,” Rachel said, not wanting to anger Blair too much. Zoe had said she didn’t really lash out anymore, but Rachel didn’t want to push it. “The point is, I can’t move halfway up the country for a girl I barely know anything about.”

“Well that’s easy, I can tell you about her. What do you want to know?”

“That’s… nice of you, but not what I meant.”

“I don’t understand what the problem is. I will provide housing for you if necessary. Although I’m sure that you don’t have issues obtaining human currency, considering that you work in such an esteemed field as frozen yogurt distribution.” She gestured around at the store. Rachel laughed. Blair stared at her as if she didn’t understand the joke.

“Listen, Blair, this is really nice of you,” Rachel said, “but I just can’t. It’s too much to process right now.”

“Very well. I will return when you’ve had time to consider.”

“That’s not what I m--”

But Blair was already gone, vanished into thin air.

------

Aaron couldn’t decide what was worse: when he had been agonizing over Chad not liking him back, or his newfound agonizing over being in a long distance relationship.

That was a total lie-- as terrible as long distance was, he definitely preferred it to his previous situation. He and Chad talked constantly. They skyped every night. Aaron still got excited every time he saw Chad’s face pop up on his screen. And even though Chad was far away, he was still undisputably Aaron’s. That feeling alone was worth the pain of separation.

For all intents and purposes, he was very, very happy. But Chad’s next visit couldn’t come soon enough.

------

How was christmas shopping with violet?

Rachel sent the text, then flopped down on her bed. She and Zoe had been texting for several weeks. It was comfortable, easy. Rachel no longer felt nervous to reply to every text. She still didn’t know where she stood on the romantic front, but Zoe hadn’t mentioned anything about it. For now, it was nice having a friend to talk to.

Two friends, actually. She and Aaron had seen each other several more times. She had come close a few times to telling him the truth about everything, but it was easier just to console him about Chad. (Who, by the way, was visiting for New Year’s. Rachel got an update on the countdown every time she and Aaron talked.)

Her phone buzzed.

Suuuuuper weird lol i finally met her infamous detective friend bc we stopped by their office

???

Oh did i not tell you about that? it’s somebody she knows from college, they have like a consulting business or idk. but they kept asking me a million questions about my family and if i had any relatives my age in georgia

Weird, why?

apparently i look like some dead drug lord??? Violet has told me this before but she tells me a lot of weird stuff, i try not to ask too many questions tbh.

your roommates are gods, aren’t you beyond ruling out weird stuff lol

Blair had stopped by the store earlier that day, in fact. It was her third time, and luckily Rachel had finally convinced her to use the front door in case there were other people around.

“The position at the Smithsonian was filled,” she’d said. “But I’m still prepared to find you something.” Rachel had insisted that it was still too soon and too drastic. Blair had stuck around to eat 4 or 5 cups of froyo, and they had actually talked a little bit. It was nice, in a weird way.

I’m used to my own weird by now hahaha, Zoe’s text said. actually though sherlock did look kinda familiar to me too so probably we met at some point and now she’s mixed me up with this other girl

Wait omg sherlock???

yeah... weird name i know

no omg I think you might have met aaron’s ex

you sure??

How many people do you know named sherlock…

wtf……. small world

Did you catch a last name? I’ll fb stalk. She wondered if Aaron’s ex was cute. They seemed to have about the same taste in terrible women.

homes? i think? something like that

Sure enough, “Sherlock Holmes” was the first result on facebook. Lives in DC, went to SACU. So this was the girl who had broken Aaron’s heart. Her profile picture was hard to see, so Rachel clicked to make it bigger… and almost dropped her phone.

Her breath caught in her throat. Her hands shook. She closed her eyes for a few seconds and then looked back at her phone cautiously, hoping she had been imagining things. But no, the uncanny resemblance was still there.

“Hamlet!” she shouted to her empty bedroom. “If you’re doing this, it’s not funny, okay? Leave me alone!”

Her phone buzzed.

so, any conclusion? same sherlock?

Then, a few seconds later: omg does this mean violet and aaron went to the same college

Rachel steadied herself. She couldn’t do this right now. She couldn’t respond to Zoe like everything was normal. Since the day they met, Zoe had always been surrounded by things that reminded her of the life she was trying so hard to forget. Blair looking like Laura. Zoe driving Marci’s car. But this… this felt more deliberate than coincidental.

Hey I’ll talk to you later ok? She managed to send the text to Zoe, then put her phone down. What now? Was this Hamlet’s ghost messing with her? She wouldn’t, right? Rachel couldn’t bring herself to believe that Hamlet would intentionally hurt her.

She sat on her bed, taking deep breaths. After a few minutes with no sign of anything out of the ordinary, she picked her phone back up and called Aaron.

He answered almost immediately. “Rachel!!! What’s up?”

“Hey, are you busy?” she asked, trying to match his enthusiasm and failing miserably. “Can I ask you something weird?”

“Um...?”

“Just-- are you around people?” Her voice was shaking. “I don’t want to bring this up if you’re not in private.”

“No, I’m not around people,” he said cautiously. “Rachel, are you ok? You sound weird.”

“I think so. I mean, I’m not in danger. Um. I hate to ask you this, but can I talk to you about Sherlock?” Now he must be really confused.

“What about Sherlock? Did she try to contact you?” If Aaron sounded concerned before, now he really did.

“No! She didn’t. It’s complicated. Um, this is going to sound weird, but can you tell me what she looks like?”

“Short brown hair, glasses, really pale, kinda tall…” So the picture was probably real. Maybe she was imagining the similarities to Hamlet. A lot of people fit that description. She looked at the picture again, and-- nope, definitely still looked like a less goth Hamlet.

“And um, she lived at SACU full time, right? She didn’t like pop back and forth from Orlando?” She couldn’t imagine that her former best friend and roommate led some sort of secret double life in Middle-of-Nowhere, Georgia. But she just had to check.

“I mean, she was secretive, but I highly doubt it… hey, can you tell me what’s going on now?”

“I…” She hadn’t really thought far enough ahead to come up with an explanation. “So um. It turns out Zoe’s friends in DC know Sherlock.”

She heard Aaron sigh. “She really is going to haunt me forever, isn’t she?” he muttered.

He meant ‘haunt’ as a figure of speech, Rachel told herself. There’s no way Sherlock is ALSO a ghost. Out loud, she said, “Um, so I looked her up because I was curious and I wanted to make sure it was the same Sherlock. That’s all.” Now that she was fairly convinced that Sherlock was actually just a person who looked a lot like Hamlet, and there was nothing supernatural going on, she didn’t want to go into more detail. Maybe doppelgangers were just much more common than she previously realized. She did have a cousin who looked a lot like her.

“And what were you saying about Orlando?” Aaron asked.

“Oh, uh, nothing.” Very convincing.

“Rachel. Are you sure you’re ok?”

She couldn’t do this. She couldn’t tell Aaron, and she definitely couldn’t tell him over the phone. “I’m fine,” she said, trying to steady her voice. “I’ll explain later. It’s not a big deal.”

“Ok…”

“I promise. I’m ok. I’ll talk to you later, ok? Thanks for answering.”

“You’re welcome…” He still sounded skeptical. She hung up.  

She got on her computer and googled Sherlock Holmes, only to find out that her (their?) friend had a vlog. Because of course. She clicked through a few videos, but the similarities to Hamlet were too disturbing. Right down to the ace ring.

Knowing how much of a bad idea it was, she pulled up Hamlet’s channel. (Her therapist always told her not to watch the videos, and she usually agreed. But then, it would be much easier not to if she could just delete them. Her therapist never understood why she didn’t, and never seemed to believe that she physically couldn’t.) After two or three videos, she managed to close the tab. She lay down on her bed and cried.

That night, she dreamed of Hamlet dying in her arms.

------

Rachel’s phone rang. It was Zoe.

She let it go to voicemail.

She felt guilty for ignoring Zoe the past several days, but she didn’t know how to talk to her. With all of her secrets back to the forefront of her mind, it seemed impossible to be casual. Eventually, Zoe was bound to ask her more things about her past. Or, you know, what her last name was. Somehow or other, Rachel knew she would find the videos and see everything. Which left her with two options: tell Zoe everything before that could happen, or ignore it and hope it would go away. And she hated confrontation.

Her phone buzzed with a voicemail notification. It occurred to her that she and Zoe had never actually talked on the phone, only texted. Which meant she hadn’t heard Zoe’s actual voice since Thanksgiving weekend. She figured she should listen to the voicemail. It had to be something serious if Zoe was going to the trouble of actually calling.

“Hi, ok, so I really need you to call me. I haven’t heard from you in days and I don’t know what the explanation is but I need to know that you’re ok and you didn’t have some kind of emergency. And I really hope you’re safe and fine and you don’t have a family member in the hospital or something. Please call me if you get the chance so I know if you’re ok. Bye, I love y-- I MEAN! I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to say that, I’m so used to saying that to my mom and friends and stuff… not that we’re not friends! I just. And this is making it worse, I’m sorry, I lo--NO. Gods. Ok. Call me. Bye.”

Rachel played the message again. She felt terrible for making Zoe nervous about her wellbeing.

I got your message, she texted. Sorry I’ve been MIA. I’m ok… it’s hard to explain.

Her phone rang again. This time, she answered it.

“Hello?”

“Ok, seriously, what the hell?”

“What?” After the message she’d just heard, she hadn’t expected Zoe to sound so angry.

“You can’t just disappear off the face of the earth like that,” Zoe said. “I get that like, things happen and people get busy but you can’t go from texting every day to not saying anything for almost a week and not expect me to get worried! I’ve been freaking out!”

“I’m really sorry, I--”

“Listen, if you don’t want to talk to me anymore, can you at least have the courtesy to tell me? I’m not going to waste my time if you don’t want to be friends but it’s really not cool to just ghost me like that.” Trust me, Rachel thought, I’ve seen ghosting, and this isn’t it.

“It’s not that I don’t want to talk to you,” Rachel said.

“Then what?” Zoe still sounded angry. “Because honestly I’ve been wracking my brain for days and if you don’t have an emergency and you’re not avoiding me then I’m really confused as to why you can’t just respond to a simple text, even to say you’re too busy to talk.”

“I don’t know how to explain it,” Rachel said. She should have known confrontation would come for her one way or another. “I’m… I’m not exactly what you think I am, Zoe.”

“My best friends are gods,” Zoe said. “Try me.”

Rachel sighed. “I wasn’t being totally honest about being ok,” she said. “I mean, I’m fine, I’m safe, I don’t want you to worry about me. But I have these... ghosts, I guess. Of my past. And sometimes it’s too much.”

“Rachel, I’m here for you,” Zoe said, no longer sounding angry. “We’re friends now, ok? You can tell me.”

“That’s the thing, I really can’t tell you.” Maybe she didn’t have to. Maybe Zoe would understand anyway.

“What do you mean?”

“I mean… ok, so some things happened in my life that… really kind of messed me up. And it was really bad for a long time. I’m mostly fine now, but sometimes I just get reminded and that’s what happened the other day and I just… I couldn’t…” She trailed off.

“Hey, if you’re dealing with something, you can just tell me that, okay? You don’t have to tell me what’s wrong. I’m here for you either way.”

“Thanks,” Rachel said. “I’m just not ready to talk about it yet. Maybe someday I’ll tell you.”

“In the meantime, tell those ghosts I said to leave you alone,” Zoe said. It took Rachel a second to remember she had used ghosts as a metaphor. “And if you need space, I’m cool with that too. But do me a favor and tell me that next time, ok?”

“Ok. Sorry I worried you.”

“I’m just glad you’re ok,” Zoe said. “And that you still want to be my friend.”

“Of course I do!” Rachel said. “You and Aaron are the first people in a long time I feel comfortable being friends with.”

Zoe laughed. “Wow, so glad to be in an exclusive club with Aaron,” she said.

“Seriously! He’s a great guy,” Rachel said. “Over the top, sure, but really genuine.”

“Oh, speaking of Aaron, did you ever find out if--”

“Hey!” Rachel cut her off. “Um. Remember the thing I said before, about not being able to explain? That again, but can we not talk about Sherlock? I don’t know how to tell you why, but I just really don’t want to.”

“Okay…” Zoe sounded confused. Of course she did. Nothing Rachel was saying made sense.

“Oh and hey, Zoe?”

“Yeah?”

“Thanks for reaching out to me,” Rachel said. “That was a really thoughtful voicemail, and um, I know you said it on accident but I think it’s perfectly fine to tell your friends you love them.”

“Oh my gods,” Zoe groaned. “That was so embarrassing…”

“No, I thought it was sweet!”

“You’re just saying that to make me feel better.”

“I’m not. It means a lot to me,” Rachel insisted.

“Well um. You’re welcome, I guess.” There was a long moment of silence, then Zoe broke it. “So um, do you mind hearing a story about Violet? Will that bother you?”

“I would love to hear a story about Violet,” Rachel said. Zoe was so considerate. Why had Rachel been nervous to talk to her again?

Zoe launched into her story, and Rachel forgot everything she had been worried about. She forgot all the trouble about a potential relationship and her past and Blair coming to pester her about moving and just thought about Zoe, and how nice it was to have a supportive friend to talk to and to hear stories from.

“...so now she’s got a whole group of people convinced, and I don’t even know how to start undoing all that damage,” Zoe wrapped up. “Blair thinks it’s hilarious, though, so at least that.”

“That’s great,” Rachel said. “Um, I should go actually. I think my parents wanted to go out to dinner or something.”

“Ok,” Zoe said. “Well it was nice actually talking to you.”

“Yeah! We should do it again. At some point. If you want.”

“I’d like that.” She could hear Zoe smiling through the phone.

“Well, goodnight. I love you.”

“Oh my gods, stop it,” Zoe said. “I’m never living that down, am I?”

Rachel had said it as a joke, but she realized that no matter how she felt about romance or relationships or long distance or whatever else, she did love having Zoe as a person in her life. And that had to be enough justification, right? But she didn’t say any of that-- because she had a feeling, or maybe a hope, that Zoe already knew. Instead she just said, “Nope!”

“Love you too,” Zoe said, as if to confirm everything Rachel hadn’t said. “Bye.” She hung up.

With just one phone call, Rachel felt that warm feeling again. Like she did at the Goodwill buying the jackets. And in the back of Zoe’s van on the way to Miami. And on the beach at sunrise.

For a second, she almost considered Blair’s proposition.

------

The next time Blair showed up at the store, she didn’t even ask about Rachel moving. She just went straight for froyo and conversation. Rachel had a sneaking suspicion that Blair was actually starting to like talking to her. (She did know a lot about mythology, even if a lot of that came from Percy Jackson.)

“So Blair,” Rachel said, after they had been talking for a little while. “You’re like an all powerful goddess, right?”

Blair narrowed her eyes. “Of course…”

“How much control do all-powerful goddesses have over the internet?”

��That’s absurd. As much as we want.”

“I wasn’t doubting you!” Rachel assured her. “Just asking.”

“Well, are you ‘just asking’ for your own amusement, or did you need something from me?” Blair looked at her expectantly. Rachel took a deep breath. The idea had come to her suddenly, and she thought it just might work. A way to get one step farther away from her past.

“Do you think you could delete some videos for me?”