#yes i am aware the wigs were probably made from real people hair. but that's not what I mean here. i just

[engagemythrusters]

Given that there are only two possibilities of real hair being shown in Queen Amidala's outfit ensembles (both by Sabe and Padme), I do wholly believe that it is a rule (written or unwritten) that queens of Naboo must cover their hair. I WILL go into depth if asked.

[handsomelyhiddleston]

The Nanny - Tom Hiddleston x Curvy Reader - PART 2 (smut)

“How long has this been going on?” Elsa asked, the two of you lounging on the couch while the kids were napping.

“I wasn’t aware anything was going on until yesterday” you answered, blushing as you told Hemsworth’s wife about your plans to stay with Tom over the short break.

“Well, if you ask Chris he’ll tell you he’s always known, but I was the first one to call it.” She gave you a smug look.

“Why didn’t anyone tell me?!” you threw your arms up. “Would have been nice to know I actually had a chance.”

“You didn’t tell me you fancied him!” Elsa laughed. You both heard India start scooting down the stairs one by one.

“Doesn’t everybody?” you smirked, standing to go grab India. “Half the time I’m certain your husband has a crush on him.”

“Oh, he does.” Elsa laughed, following you up the stairs.

You and Elsa got the kids fed and dressed so she could visit Chris with the kids on set.

“You may as well bring your bag now” she suggested. “You can just go home with him when he’s done filming.”

You took a deep breath, thinking through what you should even pack.

“Are you nervous?” she asked, telling India to put her shoes on.

“I’m…I don’t know. This doesn’t feel real.” You laughed, shaking your head.

“I’ve been watching it happen for over a year, Y/n. It’s real. Now, living with someone makes you privy to certain details about each other that you otherwise wouldn’t know…I don’t snoop, but our laundry has crossed paths a few times…so when I tell you to wear the black lace lingerie, take my advice.” She winked, going to put India’s shoes on the correct feet.

When you all arrived at the set, the guys were in the middle of filming. You and Elsa sat back and watched them work through the choreography of a scene for about 20 minutes before a break was called.

“Do you mind watching the boys while I take India over to Chris?” Elsa asked.

“Not at all” you smiled and waved her off. You were sat on a bench and the twins were sat on the floor at your feet, so they could play with their blocks.

When Chris saw Elsa, his face lit up like a child’s. He ran off of the sound stage to meet her halfway. You spotted Tom looking around the room until he made eye contact with you, smiling and waving. When he passed Elsa and Chris, Elsa pulled him into a hug. It was obvious she was talking about you because she literally pointed while Tom ducked his head like they were teasing him. Tom continued towards you, joining you on the bench by the boys.  

“How is filming going?” you asked, resting your hand on his thigh.

“Today has actually been a lot of fun” he answered, putting his arm around your shoulders. “I am, however, incredibly sore from all of the choreography. We’ve been shooting fight scenes all day and I think every bit of me has been whacked or stepped on at least once.”

You ran your hand up and down his thigh, looking up at him. “You sound like you need a massage.”

“Are you offering, darling?” Tom’s voice sounded a tad husky and his eyes dropped to your lips for a split second.

“Oh, I would love to get my hands on you” you teased before he dipped down to press a slow, lingering kiss to your lips.

“Come on, boys” Elsa called as she walked towards her twins.

Chris teased the two of you. “Really? In front of the children?”

“Be nice” Elsa scolded him.

“Or what?” he laughed, throwing the boys blocks into their bag and picking up Sasha. Elsa turned and gave him a knowing look. Chris nodded and replied, “Yes ma’am.”

“You are officially off duty” Elsa said, picking Tristan up.

You snuggled into Tom’s side a bit and sighed before hearing him say “I’ll take good care of her, I promise.”

When it was time for Tom to head to the make-up trailer to get out of costume, he grabbed your hand and took you with him. When they removed his wig and handed him make-up wipes, you started pulling out the bobby pins and combing your fingers through his hair. Dragging your nails gently over his scalp had him practically purring in your hands. “Better?”

“That feels amazing” he replied, his eyes shut and the make-up wipes forgotten.

“Finish up” you said, kissing his temple and grabbing the dirty make-up wipes from him to throw them in the trash.

“Eager, are we?” he teased, continuing to remove the stage make-up after the make-up artist left the trailer.

You watched him scrub the last bits of Loki away, a soft fond smile on your face. “For you?” He turned to face you. “Let’s just say I’ve probably been thinking about it a lot longer than you have.”

Tom stood up and threw the rest of the dirty face wipes away. “I wouldn’t be so sure.”

“I don’t know, I think everyone fell in love with you in Thor.” You replied.

“It doesn’t count if I hadn’t met you yet.” He laughed, gathering his things.

Picking up your bag, you turned to leave the trailer. “We met like, what? A year later?”

“That Christmas, actually.” Tom answered, following you out of the trailer. “You had already moved in with Chris and Elsa. She was just starting to really show her baby bump.”

“The party.” You said, nodding in agreement. “I remember. I felt like a massive fangirl when Chris introduced us.”

“Far from it” Tom answered, pulling your bag’s strap off your shoulder to carry your bag. “First, you looked incredible. You had on black and burgundy and I’m certain I spent an inappropriate amount of time looking at your ass.”

You laughed, remembering the dress. You felt like Morticia Addams with more cushion for the pushin’.

“Second, you were so confident. Every other person I met that night just wanted to talk about gossip or getting Botox or they’d ask me to do an impersonation. You asked me questions. Meaningful questions. You actually had opinions of your own when I asked about your favorite writers and films and such.”

You could feel yourself falling more and more the longer he went on. “I didn’t know you had such a high opinion of me.” You said, watching Tom put the bags in his car.

“Admittedly, I should have told you sooner.” He replied, coming around the car to open your door for you. When he climbed into the driver’s seat and buckled up, he continued. “But I am absolutely looking forward to making up for lost time” he said, leaning across the console to kiss you.

You stopped and grabbed food to take back to Tom’s. The two of you ate and had a few beers while lounging on his couch. It all felt very…normal? Comfortable. You were snuggled into his chest listening to him talk about how Hemsworth had broken three separate props today when you remembered what he had said about being sore.

When you went to pull away from Tom, he tightened his arm. “Darling, if you’re standing up to clean up the dinner mess, I will personally see to it that I find some way of punishing you during your stay.” You watched Tom lick his lips as he awaited your reply.

“While I know that I would enjoy every second of whatever you consider punishment, I was actually going to tell you to take your clothes off.” You smirked, watching his lips part and his eyes widen.

You stood and grabbed the trash from dinner, swaying your hips as you walked towards the kitchen trash can. “Hey!” Tom laughed, sitting upright on the couch. “Were you just trying to distract me?”

You walked back in the room with a bottle of lotion in your hands. “Why are you still dressed?” you teased him.

“I’d be at a disadvantage if I were the only one undressed” he replied, slowly unbuttoning his shirt.

“Don’t worry, you’ll get me naked soon enough” you laughed, kneeling by the couch. “Lose the pants and lay down on your stomach.”

“I’m never going to catch up if you keep spoiling me.” Tom stood and unbuttoned his jeans.

“What is that supposed to mean?” you asked, your eyes glued to Tom’s body.

Tom loved that you seemed to get just as distracted by him as he was by you. “Y/n, you’re always the one taking care of everybody. Constantly.” He tossed his jeans to the side, standing in front of your kneeling form.

“Well, isn’t that just the pot calling the kettle black” you said, patting the couch and telling him to lay down. After warming some lotion in your hands, you ran them slowly but firmly up Tom’s back. “Tom, you’re always the first person to help.” Tom moaned, pressing his face into the cushion to quiet the noise. “You are always checking on me or helping with the kids or…”

“Well, I’ve been trying to show you how I feel, but it’s hard when you don’t need anything, and you don’t accept anyone’s help.” Tom interrupted you. “Oh, fuck me” he moaned, turning and laughing into the cushion. You were working on a knot in his muscles near his shoulder and you just got it to loosen up. “It’s really hard to have a serious conversation while you’re eliciting very sexual noises from me.”

“I’m actually enjoying this.” You smirked, starting to work on another knot.

“Well, what I’m trying to say…*moan*…is that I don’t want you feeling like you HAVE to do anything for me…*Oh god, whatever you just did felt amazing*…I want you to feel taken care of too.” Tom’s very heartfelt sentiment was spoken between groans, moans, and swear words.

“Sweetheart, I do things for people because I want to” you said, moving down his back towards his ass. “Just like you do and just like Elsa and Chris do. It’s not a competition. I’m not keeping score.” You were kneading your thumbs into Tom’s hip and thigh muscles.

Tom tried to sneakily adjust his growing issue between himself and the couch, but you saw. With your hands all over him, he was having a hard time not letting his mind wander. “If that’s true then you just have to accept that I want to do things for you too.”

“I think I can allow it.” You started working your way back up his thighs, when he reached back and grabbed one of your hands.

“This feels incredible, but if you keep touching me, I’m just going to get more and more turned on.” He turned to sit on the couch with a throw pillow covering his lap.

“And?” you said, still kneeling by the couch. You ran your hands up Tom’s thighs, your finger teasing at the band of his briefs.

Chucking the pillow to the floor, he leaned forward and pulled you into a rough kiss. “Take your clothes off.”

“Gladly.” You stood, pulling your shirt off and unbuttoning your jeans. Turning around so that Tom got a great view, you bent over and slid your jeans down your legs. When you turned around, you saw Tom palming himself as his eyes took in the black lace bralette and thong.

“Wherever you bought that set…we’re getting more of them.” Tom said, stripping off his last item of clothing before leaning forward and slipping his fingers into the waist of your thong. “You look unbelievably sexy.”

Tom made you feel like a goddess. He dragged your panties down your legs, letting you step out of them. When he leaned back you saw just how endowed Tom was. He saw you lick your lips and smirked.

Leaning back on the couch with his legs spread, Tom patted his thighs and started stroking his manhood. “Come here, gorgeous. That is, if you can handle me.”

While you were slipping out of your bralette, you teased back. “Are you sure you can handle me?”

“Sweetheart, I know that you’re a lot of woman…I know what I’m getting myself into” he said, still admiring your body… “and I am going to lick, touch, or suck every part of you before you leave this apartment.”

Placing your knees on the outside of Tom’s legs, you straddled his lap, letting him pull you into a rough kiss. His hands found their way to your ass, and then your breasts, and then your hips as he pulled you tight against his torso. “There is a condom in that drawer” he pointed to the small table by the couch.

“I’m on birth control…” you said, waiting for his response.

“Then it’s up to you” Tom answered, still wanting you to set that boundary.

You connected your lips in another kiss. “We don’t need it.”

Tom slid his hand between you two and ran the tip of his hardness up and down your dripping slit. “Jesus Christ, Y/n.” Tom brought his wet fingers to his mouth and sucked them clean. “Mmm, so sweet. Glad to know I’ve got you as hot and bothered as you have me.”

You dragged your tongue along Tom’s bottom lip, asking permission to deepen the kiss. When his tongue ran over yours you could taste yourself in the kiss.

“I can’t wait anymore. Please.” You said, your hands roaming Tom’s perfect chest.

Tom pushed into you in one smooth motion, digging his fingers into your hips, “Ride me.”

You put your hands on the back of the couch and started moving, feeling him move his hips in rhythm with you. “Oh, fuck” you moaned, throwing your head back.

Tom buried his face in your chest, sucking love marks into the tender skin there. “God, you feel incredible.”

When Tom shifted a bit and hit your G spot, you could have sworn you saw stars. You grabbed his face and begged him to do it again.

Tom looked cocky, absolutely obsessed with making you fall apart. “Like this?” he said, roughly hitting the same spot a few times in a row.

“Tom!” you moaned his name, your fingers finding their way into his hair as you crashed your lips against his.

Tom could feel you clenching around him, your legs starting to shake. “Can you cum for me, baby?” He was ready to burst, himself.

You couldn’t form words. Your hands moved to your breasts, absentmindedly playing with your nipples as your orgasm built.

“You look luscious, y/n.” Tom gripped your hips, holding you in place as he franticly thrusted into you. “I’m gonna…”

Tom’s snap into overdrive tipped you right over the edge. Your bodies glistened with sweat and Tom’s hair was mussed from your idle hands. As you came down from your temporary highs, Tom kept running his hands up and down your sides, kissing your temple and then your shoulder and then your cheek.

When he pulled out of you, you groaned and tucked your face into his neck.

“Don’t worry, my sweet. There’s plenty more where that came from.” Tom held you against his chest, feeling both of your breathing level back out.

When you thought you could actually move again, you sat up and pulled him into a gentle kiss. “Mmm…thank you.” You said against his lips.

“Let’s go get cleaned up, darling.” Tom held your hands as you stood.

“Lead the way.” You smirked, waiting for Tom to walk ahead of you. When he did, you couldn’t help but smack his amazing ass.

“Is that your way of telling me you want to be spanked?” Tom quipped, grabbing a stack of towels and taking them to the bathroom.

You laughed and then stood there thinking about what he had asked. *mmm Tom’s hands* *I mean, he did tell me he would punish me for cleaning up dinner* *Oh god, thinking about him being rough is turning me on all over again*

You were thinking it through when he popped his head back around the corner. “Might I suggest you have your dirty thoughts in the shower so we don’t run out of hot water.”

You shook your head, ending your daydream and looking at the adorable face staring back at you. You walked towards him, going on your tip-toes to give him a quick kiss. “Spanking is a yes.”

Tom laughed, walking with you to the shower. “We should probably try a bit of everything, if I’m being honest. It’s good to try new things.”

Your eyes went wide. “You only have two days off work.”

Tom pulled you to his chest, under the water. “My sweet, we’ve got the rest of our lives.”

[aer-in-wanderland]

구미호뎐 | Tale of the Nine Tailed - 이동욱 VLIVE 2020.11.18 TotNT Q&A

Below the cut you’ll find a translation of some of the TotNT Q&A highlights from Lee Dong Wook’s recent VLIVE, wherein the actor answers live questions from fans and shares some fun behind the scenes stories and insights. 

Note: these are only excerpts I’ve selected out (primarily from the third segment) of the full 2hr VLIVE. You can find a full transcript of the second segment here.

At the start, LDW wrote a few things on a white board because he was being asked them so much. Those are:

Tale of the Nine Tailed Ep 13 & 14 will both be broadcast the following week (filming for the drama has wrapped) [on November 5th, after filming for nearly 7 months]

He really does like mint chocolate

He has no intention of running his own SNS (social media) 

[In a later addition] He doesn’t know his MBTI type and isn’t interested in finding out

The VLIVE proceeded in three main sections. 1) Free talk 2) VS Game (prepared for him by his promotional team), and 3) TotNT Q&A. Below are some things I thought were of note, mostly from the third section, complete with time stamps in case you want to go see where he talks about them but also because academia has conditioned me to always be meticulous about citing my sources. ;) 

Q: Do you watch Tale of the Nine Tailed on live broadcast? [0:17:16~0:17:46]

I think I watched live...about half the time. I saw about half of the episodes live, and for the other half I couldn’t watch because we were filming, so I either watched them on re-watch [online] or when they re-broadcast them. 

Since it wasn’t entirely pre-produced, we were still filming as it was being broadcast, so there were occasions when I couldn’t watch the broadcast live. 

[Note: The reason people in Korea are concerned with the original live broadcast (bonbang) is because this is how the viewership ratings are measured.]

Q: Are you close with Kim Beom-nim in reality? [0:30:45~0:31:03]

(Laughing) Yes, we are close in real life haha. That was a very cute question. We’re extremely close. We worked out together yesterday too. (Laughing) That was a cute question. 

[Note: Lee Dong Wook and Kim Beom are represented by the same talent agency so they’re also label mates]

Q: Are there any ad lib lines that come to mind? [1:17:30~1:18:30]

Everyone, to be perfectly honest, I did so many ad libs I don’t even remember them all. I think I made an ad lib in nearly...at least once in every two scenes? Was it more than that? But thankfully the director and writer gave me a lot of opportunities to do as I pleased. Most likely if you were watching and found yourself thinking, ‘oh, that seems like an ad lib?’ those were all ad libs. And there were actually many more than that even. Yes. I did so many I can’t remember. 

[Note: You can find a full round-up of ad libs mentioned throughout the VLIVE that I did here. I’m not going to repeat them in this post since it’s going to be long enough already ;) ]

Q: What line left the deepest impression on you? [1:18:36~1:19:35]

This is also...for our drama, the writer really did a wonderful job writing the dialogue and there are many iconic lines, right? So to be honest it’s difficult to just pick one...yes. But, in any case, it would probably have to be that line, wouldn’t it? The ending of episodes 1, 4 and 9. Ji Ah’s line, ‘I waited for you.’ And then again at the end of episode 4, my line, ‘I also waited for you.’ And then at the end of episode 9 Ji Ah says, ‘I waited for you’ with a different meaning. The mirroring of the lines in these ending scenes, I believe it will have stayed with you, and it stayed with me too. 

[Reading the live chat] Yes, ‘I have never once missed my target.’ Yes, that line was also really good. It was a line that helped to wake something in Rang-ie’s heart, so... 

Q: Was it hard acting before the CG effects were added in? [1:20:39~1:23:19]

Ah, is that so? That was also released as a clip, as a video [available here]. They compared the CG before and after...It’s not easy. Yes. Especially in cases like the Knife Mountain Hell and the Snow Mountain Hell, when you film in front of a blue screen, you need to make a lot of calculations. And, you sort of...need to be aware of the details. Right now, what cut you’re filming, what cut will come after that cut, and...for that, seeing as how everything around you is blue, you tend to lose your sense of direction a bit? You also have to take that into account. So, actually to film all the Knife Mountain Hell and the Snow Mountain Hell scenes, added together, I spent three days and two nights in front of a blue screen...so it was a bit hard. After being in front of nothing but a blue screen for nearly three days straight...I started to lose my sense of time and space. Where I am now, which direction I’m going in, whether where I’m currently standing is facing forward or backward, even what time it is currently, or how much time has passed, these sort of...the most basic senses that are part of being human, become duller and duller. That was somewhat hard. But thanks to our director, our CG director, and our stunt director helping me a lot, and the same goes for our film crew, yes, so, that was how we filmed. 

Ah, and, when filming in front of a blue screen, especially in cases like the Knife Mountain Hell, there are knives flying at me right? So I get asked a lot if that isn’t embarrassing, but to be honest when I’m filming I don’t have the space to even be concerned with those sorts of things. It’s not as if, like, because I moved in such a way I feel humiliated or because I did this I feel embarrassed. I don’t even have the space to be concerned with those things. I just think about the fact that the CG team, the stunt team, the camera team, and me, I have to act well so that these four teams can work well in concert...yes. Because to the extent that my acting comes across as realistic, it should be better once the CG is added. Because it will be easier for the people filming [that way], so I always film while keeping those things in mind. 

Q: Do the colors of your thread rings have to do with the drama’s plot? [1:26:42~1:27:00]

[Big pause] Hm~.....the color doesn’t. 

Q: Between Lee Rang and Imoogi, who did you have the best synergy with for the action sequences? [1:27:26~1:28:11]

For me, it was easiest when I worked with the stunt team (laughs). When I do action sequences with other actors...I’m uneasy. Well, the other party might also be uneasy but I am also uneasy, because if we happen to strike each other for real, we’ll get hurt. So I always film with a very cautious mindset, but when I do action sequences with the stunt team, in any case, because they are professionals, even if I get the motions slightly wrong or I step forward too much, they are able to adjust to match me. So my heart is most at ease when I do action sequences with the stunt team. Because they are able to respond to me well. 

Q: Do you get startled for real when Taluipa screams at you while you’re acting? [1:28:46~1:28:59]

No. In reality it doesn’t startle me that much. Jeong Nan-Noona (Actress Kim Jeong Nan) is also very close with me. We’ve been in a number of productions together, so we enjoyed ourselves. 

Q: A behind the scenes story from the promotional teasers with Jo Bo Ah? [1:29:17~1:30:02] 

Ah~, this is a bit of a departure from talking about the drama itself. I was just talking with Ji Ah, with Bo Ah-ssi, and we ended up talking about how it might be if we tried filming something funny just by ourselves to release before the broadcast...and so, I was the one who provided the idea, at the beginning. If you look, it’s written there, right? Planning: Jo Bo Ah, Directing: Lee Dong Wook hehe. Yes, we just made them like that. At the very beginning, Jo Bo Ah-ssi was the one who proposed making them, so the planning is Jo Bo Ah, and then I was the one who supplied ideas of ‘let’s do this like this,’ so the directing is Lee Dong Wook. Yes. 

[Note: If you haven’t seen these, they’re great. There are three of them that were shared to both Lee Dong Wook (@leedongwook_official) and Jo Bo Ah’s (@xxadoraa) Instagram feeds ahead of EP03, EP05, and EP07]

Q: Who had the most NG (no good) takes while filming? [1:30:59~1:31:14]

I have the most NGs. I think in any case, I have the most...I joke around a lot, and I make a lot of ad libs, and I also had a lot of scenes, so I had the most NGs. 

Q: Re: Lee Yeon’s Hair [1:33:38~1:34:34]

Yes, I like it. Ah, this could actually be a bit of a ‘behind the scenes.’ It was actually my idea to make Lee Yeon’s hair red-brown. It wasn’t the original character setting. I thought that, since he’s a Korean red fox, how would it be to make his hair a bit closer to that color, and also that it would be nice to give him a bit more of an otherworldly image. So I consulted with the director of our salon and the salon director said that that would be good. So I ended up with red-brown hair, and it just worked naturally that the (mountain god) wig be a mixture of red-brown and silver. Ah that isn’t white hair, it’s actually silver. It’s much closer to silver hair, not white hair. So that’s how I came to have a combination of red and silver long hair. Yes. 

Q: What was your reaction when you first met the agwi while filming the Forest of the Starved sequence? [1:36:27~1:37:50]

That, rather than thinking they were scary, I mostly kept thinking about what a hard time they must be having. The Forest of the Starved sequence, adding together every time the Forest of the Starved shows up from beginning to end, we filmed for nearly a week straight. Six days? For about six days to a week. For most of them, they are actually members of our stunt team in stage makeup. There were also many people who appeared just in those roles, but those folks all had a really hard time. That makeup takes a long time to put on and a long time to take off, and seeing as it’s all special effects makeup it’s hard on your skin in a number of ways, and because it was summer it was really hot and humid, and because we were in the forest it was just...well, in any case there were truly a lot of error conditions, so while me and Kim Beom-ssi also had a hard time, in truth it was those people who had it the hardest. Those who played the agwi really worked very hard. Thank you very much to those people. For me and Kim Beom-ssi, at least our clothes and shoes were, at least we were dressed comfortably while we filmed, but those people had to wear torn hanbok and straw shoes while running, so in truth those people are the protagonists of the Forest of the Starved. They really worked the hardest of all of us.

[Note 1: ‘those people’ sounds dismissive in English but LDW is using the respective term ‘bun’ so he’s actually being quite deferential here.

Note 2: Kim Beom has said elsewhere that he filmed this sequence for 3 weeks so either LDW is just talking about his own scenes or possibly Kim Beom just remembered it as being longer than it was haha]

Q: When you played baduk with Lee Rang, did you know what you were doing or were you just placing pieces at random? [1:39:34~1:40:07]

For that, I knew what I was doing. For that baduk game, someone who knows [how to play], if they see that board just once they will know. We used a high caliber game by extremely famous baduk players and transferred the placement of the pieces exactly, and then Rang-ie and I took turns placing piece by piece like this, right? For that, we each, Rang-ie and I each memorized our moves, so we were playing an actual game of baduk. The reason being that, these sort of things are the details, and for those, well, you shouldn’t lie, right?

Q: Are there any details you payed attention to when you were acting as Lee Rang transformed (into Lee Yeon)? [1:44:27~1:45:47] 

For episode 11... for episode 11, at that time, conversely, I didn’t pay much attention to it. At that time, the reason being, fooling the viewers was a critical part of that sequence, of that episode, so conversely, if I had acted like Lee Rang, and Lee Rang had acted like me, like Lee Yeon, doing it like that seemed like it would have been too obvious, so we just, to the greatest extent possible, we each respectively acted Lee Yeon as had been, and Lee Rang as had been. 

But then, when Lee Rang transforms into Lee Yeon and goes to see Taluipa, at that time I tried more to act like Lee Rang. In fact, before we started filming, I asked Rang-ie, I asked Beom-ssi to read through the lines once. I asked him, ‘If it was you, how do you think you would do this?’ So Beom-ssi read it for me and I matched that. So this was another place that I manipulated the details while I was acting. When I (Rang) went to see Taluipa, when he was transformed, there was originally another version where I (Rang) looked around even more and was even more awkward. But rather than that, that was too blatantly obvious, so it was broadcast with the more toned-down version. 

Q: Did you really have a video call with Ji Ah? [1:46:18~1:46:36]

No, we each shot our scenes on different days. I shot mine first, and then Ji Ah-ssi, Bo Ah-ssi, shot hers about two or three days later. We each shot separately on different days.  

Q: A behind the scenes story from the sound booth recording? [1:48:07~1:48:47]

The sound booth recording is just the sound booth recording (laughs). Ah, that, the sound booth recording for the hell scene? Ah, that was exhausting. For that, honestly if it wasn’t for the ‘making’ (behind the scenes video) you probably wouldn’t have known about it. To that extent, I poured as much energy into it as when I had originally acted it out all over again as I was recording it, so I really ended up feeling like I’d gone to that hell and back twice. Which is what I said in the ‘making’...And that was caught on video by our miss Bo Ah, and that ended up being released as part of the behind the scenes. 

[Note: The sound booth BTS can be found here (2:09~3:01)]

Q: Which of the mountain god outfits do you like the most? [1:50:47~1:51:11]

That...when I went to save young Rang-ie, the outfit I wore the first time I appeared, the black one, yes. In the Forest of the Starved, when I went to save young Rang-ie, the mountain god clothing I wore when we first met, I personally really liked it.  

Q: Re: the mountain god hair [1:51:30~1:52:17]

It was uncomfortable. It...dragged a lot, and sort of...yes. It gives you a headache. Once you’ve had it affixed for about 6 hours, your scalp gets tighter and tighter, and it hurts your head. So the wig, it also takes a long time to put on and take off. To be honest, the mountain god scenes, to everyone watching they may be very beautiful...but they were quite tiring. That goes for the wig, but also for the hanbok. It’s very uncomfortable to move about in and restrictive in a number of ways. Especially, seeing as how I always got a headache, it was a bit hard. 

Q: Does Lee Yeon know that he’s cute? [1:55:06~1:55:09]

Of course. 

[Note: This is the 3rd gif ;)]

Q: What was the first scene you shot? [2:02:18~2:02:46]

My first scene was...the scene where Soo Oh and I meet at the park and talk. That was the first scene that I shot. When the little girl lost her balloon and I caught it and returned it to her. Soo Oh said, ‘Ajusshi, are you an alien?’ and I said, ‘No, a gumiho.’ That scene was the first scene of Tale of the Nine Tailed that was shot and it was my first scene that I shot. 

Q: Did you have a time when you swooned while acting with Jo Bo Ah-nim? [2:03:14~2:03:20]

Of course. Whenever I act out those sorts of emotions I always do. 

~~~

This is not a complete exhaustive transcription. You can find my translation of the VS game that proceeded the Q&A here. 

[surveys-at-your-service]

Survey #322

“you will hear it when your god cries  /  you will see it when the sun dies  /  upon the altars of change”

What is your favorite nickname that you’ve had? "Bee," from my old best friend. I don't want others calling me it, though. Where did you go on the best date you’ve been on? A big arcade. It was a super fun double-date. Have you ever gotten a professional massage? No, and I don't want one. It'd be so awkward. What’s your favorite milkshake flavor? Chocolate. What act would you be most likely to perform in a talent show? I got nothin'. If you had braces, do you wear your retainers still? I don't. If you had braces, have your teeth moved since you got them off? Yep, because of the whole "not wearing my retainer" thing. Whose was the first baby shower you remember attending, and for what baby? I'm unsure. Possibly my sister's for her first daughter. Do you know anyone personally who’s lost a child? Many people. When was the last time you did something that felt like rebellion? So every now and again, I get a massive craving for soda at night, so I grab one from the kitchen and can hear my sleeping mother rightfully nagging me about it, haha... What is one present you got for your last birthday? Ashley got me this really cool skull bank that says "tattoo fund" on it, aha. I love it. What is one thing that you took to show and tell as a kid? I have a clear memory of bringing a Snorlax plushie one day. Do you remember losing your first tooth? Not my first, no. Are you afraid to pop a balloon? Not really, but it's kinda easy to make me jump just a lil bit when one is popped. When was the last time you laughed when you shouldn’t have? I don't know. Which was better: the first The Lion King or the second? That is fucking HARD. I adore both, but I think the original is slightly better. Do any of your grandparents have a tattoo? I'm pretty sure none of them did. Do you believe that your pets feel love towards you? My cat, definitely. As for my snake, I'm aware that snakes' brains simply aren't developed enough for love, but she clearly trusts me. Are you proud of your body? Fuck no. I'm humiliated by it every waking moment. Watermelon or cherries? I don't like either, but if I had to pick, watermelon. Favourite brand of cookies? I don't really have a favorite brand. Have you ever stuck gum under a desk/chair? No, that shit grosses me out. When shopping at a grocery store, do you return your cart or just leave it? Return your goddamn cart. What is one thing you’d never want your parents to find out? Uhhhh. I guess places I've "done it." When you were little, did you like Dr. Suess books? I did. Do you like eating out at restaurants? Yeah; at least, before Covid. What was your least favorite year of your life so far? Fuck 2016 into the next millenium. Do you like fried bologna? I haven't had it in so long that I don't really remember the taste. I think I would. Have you spent money on a game online? Yeah, very briefly with WoW. Mom was nice enough to refresh my subscription after the breakup (Jason paid for it prior), but from then on, I was rich enough in-game to use monthly game tokens to "pay." Do you put a line through your "7"s? Yes. What about your "Z"s? Also yes. Do you like cold pizza? Yeah, yummy. Do you like broccoli and cheese? Yessss. Toaster or toaster oven? We've always used a toaster oven. What are you most known for? Being artsy, I guess. Do you have any reputations? What are they? *shrug* What was the last thing to leave you speechless? No clue. What is the curviest part of your body? Well, I'm overweight, so it's difficult to tell where I'm naturally curvy... but I guess my hips. Even when I was at a perfectly healthy weight though, I don't think I was exceptionally curvy anywhere. What is your opinion on sex change? You are entirely deserving to feel comfortable in your own body. If you’re still a virgin, how important is your virginity to you? I'm not, though I thought I was when we were together, when we were really just using a loophole. It was a denial thing BECAUSE my virginity was so important to me. If you have lost it already, do you regret it? No. Would you take a break after graduating from high school (like, postpone going to college for a year or so)? I didn't. What regret keeps coming back to haunt you daily? Things I said to Jason. If you could cure yourself of one allergy, what would it be? Pollen. Would you ever post a picture of yourself crying on social media? No. Have you ever held a newborn baby? Yeah, my most recent niece I actually held. I don't THINK I held Aubree or Ryder as newborns because I was so afraid of not doing it right and hurting them. Do you know anyone who has twins? Yeah. Are you following in the career path of any family members? No. What is your favorite country in Europe? Germany. How many times have your comments been top comments on YouTube? A few times. I rarely ever comment, but if I do, it's because I feel like I really have something worth saying. Would you ever wear a wig? I'm not opposed to it. Do you like the moon or sun more? The moon. Do you like turkey or ham more? Ham. Have you ever slapped someone’s butt? Yes. Do you think dimples are ugly? I think they're cute, actually. Have you ever deleted Facebook friends for a significant other? No. Have you ever spent the night in jail? No. Do you consider yourself a good kisser? I assume I am from experiences. Do you watch Pewdiepie? Not anymore, no. His current content doesn't interest me. The most recent thing I watched was his playthrough of The Last of Us 2, because I adore the first game and definitely wanted to see him play the sequel. I think he's pretty funny and have no personal issues against him, though then again I am so uninvolved in the fandom that I have no idea if he's done something stupid again. Do you like "Despacito?" Haha, my mind went to The Dark Den's bearded dragon before the song... I'm not a fan of it, no. Did you ever color your hair pink? No, but I absolutely want to dye it pastel pink one day. :( I even edited a picture of me "testing" different hair colors out, and pastel pink looked suuuuper pretty. Do you drink energy drinks? No, they're too strong for my taste. Do you have any subscribers on YouTube? I don't now how many I have, but I know it's below 100. Do you have a Steam account? Yeah. Have you ever played Five Nights at Freddy’s? No, but I enjoy the franchise. I'm not totally clear on all the lore, though. Do you like religion? Quite honestly, no. Do you swear in front of children? No. What is the next craft you are going to make? There's no telling. I don't really do crafts. What was your favorite Backstreet Boys song? Maybe "The Call." Favorite *N Sync song? I don't remember enough of them, at least not right now. Which of those two bands did you like best? The BSB, baby. Do you learn choreography easily? When I danced, I'd say I learned at a fairly average pace. What’s your favorite candy to receive on Halloween? Reeseeeeeee's. <3 Do you have a bobblehead? No. Have you ever had a lead role in a play? No. Have you ever been insulted or called names by a significant other? No. I wouldn't tolerate that shit. What’s your favorite movie battle scene? Oh man, idk. Maybe something from Troy, though I honestly barely even remember the movie by now, haha. Have you ever been to a same-sex wedding? No, actually. Who takes care of your pet(s) when you’re out of town? Hypothetically, one of my sisters would come to feed and water Roman and clean his box. I'm certain I couldn't talk either into spraying Venus' cage, though... What was the last thing you wrote down on paper? Some group work during therapy. Did you have a Walkman when you were a kid? No. What’s your favorite recipe you’ve come up with? Oh dear, I don't make those. Do you like celery? Yuck, no. By what age could you swallow pills? I dunno. A normal age. Do you like to drink alot of water? I need to drink more. :/ I've gotten better, though. For years, I literally never drank water. How I even survived, idk. How many times have you gone fishing? Countless times. Ever been to a roller-skating rink? Yeah. I loved having bday parties there as a lil'un. What do you refer to your mother as? (Mom, momma, mommy) Mom, Ma, and Mama. Have you ever swam in the ocean? Yeah, multiple times. What is the last movie that made you cry? I think the remake of The Lion King. What would you like to swim in other than water? Nothing? If you could uninvent one thing what would you chose? Damn, just one? Maybe cigarettes? Have you ever read someone's diary? Absolutely not. I respect people's privacy. Have you ever played in a waterfall? No, but that'd be dope. Who has inspired you the most in your life? Probably Mark. Is there a place where everyone who lives near you tends to hang out? Idk. Teens sure do love to hang out at Sonic, though, reving their stupid fucking trucks. Does your alarm clock wake you with music, or with an annoying buzz sound? Music. Did you make it all the way through the Oregon Trail game? Yes; I was obsessed with those as a kid. Lions and tigers and bears, oh my! Which one are you more scared of? I feel like being alone with a tiger would scare me most. Though let's be real, I'd probably try to pet it. Have you ever changed your favorite color? From what to what? It was originally red, but then became pink when I actually understood it was its own color. Then it was maroon forever, and now it's back to pink. On a scale of 1-10, how competitive are you? Eh, 4-6? It depends on the situation, I guess. At what age did your have your most memorable birthday? My 21st, because I was in the psych hospital for it. Yes or no: Guys in skinny jeans? Yeah, man. Yes or no: Girls with dreads? Some people can pull it off. Have you ever attended a themed b-day party? What was the theme? Oh yeah, plenty. Do you have any Eminem on your iPod/MP3 player? I do. Has anybody ever given you a promise ring? No. What do you think about putting ‘spinners’ on cars? So long as they're not too distracting, I don't care. Do what you want with your car - again, so long as it is not disruptive. What celebrity do you wish would have a big comeback? I wish poor Britney Spears could catch a goddamn break and be happy again. She's a legend that doesn't deserve to feel like a puppet. Were you outdoors or indoors more as a kid? I'd say there was a pretty even split. Do you or have you ever owned a horse? No, but I LOVE horses. Have you ever had a relationship that began via text? (weird, I know, but it happens…) Most of my relationships started through a text message. Did you believe in unicorns as a small child? I don’t think so. Would you ever date a guy with longer hair than yourself? Yeah; I have short hair anyway, and I also like long hair on guys. Do you watch the show Wizards of Waverly Place? I used to love that show. Have you ever been to the rainforest? No; humidity aside though, that would be so amazing. Bats are not spooky or are they? I think they're precious. Do you like the song "Womanizer?" I sure do, actually. Do you like ice cream cake? Not really, but I'll eat it. Do you know how to change a tire? Nope. What kind of headphones do you have? Just cheap earplugs. Do you experiment a lot with new looks on yourself? No. What were some fun experiments you did in science class as a kid? Dissecting a frog was my favorite, and doing the same with an owl pellet was also very cool. What was the last strong emotion you felt? Guilt. I lied to get out of group therapy early because I was just NOT feeling it whatsoever that day, and I hate lying. Do you use dry shampoo between washes? No. Have you ever lived with someone you didn’t get along with? No. What types of animals have you had as pets? Jeez, what haven't we had... We've had cats, dogs, snakes, rats, gerbils, a rabbit, hamsters, lizards, fish, guinea pigs... Hell, I'm probably forgetting one or two. Can you name three good things about your most recent ex? She's so creative, a real advocate for proper reptile education and appreciation, and very kind. Name three bands/artists that you hate. Uhhh The Talking Heads, Bob Dylan, and The Police. What’s the best memory you have of your father? Playing softball with him in the front yard, and when he taught me to ride a bike. Should tattoos be meaningful? You get a tattoo for whatever reason you damn well want. I don't plan on all of mine to be meaningful. Some stuff I just want because I think it's cool. Are you afraid of the dark? No. Have you ever been through a trap door? No. What's the most recent good news you’ve heard? Hm. Who was the last person in your family to have a baby? My older sister. When’s the last time you used the microwave? Last night. What’s the worst thing in your life right now? Financial struggles. Have you ever owned a tire swing? No. Does anyone you know own a bird that can talk? No. Have you ever been someplace tropical? Yeah, Florida. Have Jehovah'ss witnessess ever called to your door? Yep. when was the last time you went to mass/church? I have no idea. It's been many years. Have you ever experienced sleep paralysis? Thank heavens no.

[crusherthedoctor]

The Lutrudis Hadeer Design Concept Masterpost

Every now and then, I get the occasional question about my very own Lutrudis, which I'm always gladly willing to answer. Yet for all the times I've answered such questions, it seems some folks are still a bit left in the dark as to how Trudy came to be. So I figured I could make one big post all about the creation process. Maybe not every single detail per say, but at least everything that I think is worth mentioning in a post of this sort.

I'm aware that fellow pal @benignmilitancy​ covered this subject herself recently, but I might as well do my part to back up what she said.

1. When did Lutrudis become an idea?

The basic idea for Lutrudis - and indeed, the setting of Viridonia and Beyond the Stars itself as a story - was thought up as early as 2014. When I say basic idea however, I really do mean it, as aside from the general concept of her being the latest Friend of the Week helping Sonic and Co fight evil on her home island, very little else about Trudy was set up, including her name and species. While some aspects of her personality were already set in stone by that point, I focused on the design first when I decided to go ahead and make her and Beyond the Stars a real thing. The idea being to use what personality traits I had in mind to create a mental image, then use that mental image to help figure out the rest of her traits, as a design can often help out with working out a personality.

So basically, I scratched my back, so that I could scratch it again. Made sense to me.

2. Why a horse? Is it because friendship is magic?

Maybe...

Actually, I wanted a species that hadn't been used before, at least in the games, its continuity being the one Beyond the Stars takes place in. But at the same time, I also wanted to go with a fairly mundane species rather than anything rare, extinct, or extravagant, as I felt that the latter would undermine the story arc that I had in mind for this particular character. Compared to the likes of Sonic, Shadow, or Blaze, Lutrudis is more akin to Amy in the sense that she's ordinary by comparison, despite her living conditions and the magical brand of ammo she eventually decides to use. To have the arc of a “normal” lady becoming a hero in her own right be represented by a T-rex or a dragon wouldn't really land the same impact in the context of this universe.

Already, I was quickly warming up to making her a horse because of this. But then I realised that many of Trudy's personality traits - her loyalty, her passion, her elegance - were ALSO commonly attributed to horses in real life. And if you're not aware, I'm a big fan of letting Sonic and Co have character tics representative of their species, and a horse in particular had plenty of potential to have some funny and cute moments by letting their horsiness show itself. This additional thought helped make my decision on the matter final.

...Well, that and I wanted Trudy to have longer hair than the average Sonic female due to how, IMO, short hair wouldn't work as well for her. Obviously horses have manes, so that made it easier to get away with than it would have if she were a hedgehog, though it also helps that Trudy's hair is never any more detailed than the rest of her, meaning her hair actually looks like her own rather than her wearing an overly detailed wig to appease a certain disgraced comic writer, one of whom I will probably have the entirety of Beyond the Stars uploaded by the time he actually does something with his echidna libido-fueled comic at this rate... Looking forward to it in 2030.

As for what kind of horse she is, I decided to go with an English Thoroughbred, if only to further justify Trudy's English accent, which is nonetheless fairly mild compared to everyone else in Viridonia, who sound as though they jumped out of a 90's Rareware title.

3. “THIS IS WHO I AM... But who am I?”

Believe it or not, but even by 2016, I still hadn't decided on what to call my little pony. I had already figured that whatever I was going to call her, it would abide by the same naming convention as Amy Rose, Miles Prower, and Ivo Robotnik, to help further add to the aforementioned notion that she's an ordinary lady who wasn't born with any superpowers. That, and because “___ the Horse” doesn't have the same ring to it as “___ the Hedgehog” or “___ the Echidna”.

So what did I do?

I looked up a list of female names for baby girls. Duh.

Well, it worked out, because I stumbled across “Lutrudis”, which was German for “strength of the village”. The more I repeated it in my head, the more it appealed to me. Sometimes, you can have various names that mean the same thing, yet one in particular will just have that perfect sound to it. That was me with this name. This horse being named Lutrudis felt right to me, even if I perfectly understood that it was perhaps a bit more exotic than your usual Sonic anthro name.

Not that it mattered too much, since I was quick to think of “Trudy” as a nickname for her, since in addition to being less of a mouthful, that name - also German in origin - had a similar meaning, “universal strength”. Fit her character and arc just as well.

So that was the first name sorted, but what about the surname? Well, when looking at a selection of appropriate words, I stumbled on “Hadeer”, and while the Arabic meaning of the name is slightly unclear - some sources say “adventurous”, others say “sound of the water falls” - I felt that the meanings associated with it were all equally appropriate regardless. Then I combined it with the first name, said the full name over and over again in my head, and thought “Yeah... this sounds correct.”

I realise the irony of a part-German, part-Arabic name being associated with an English character, but considering this is the same universe where a man who is presumably not Polish is given a Polish term for a name (Robotnik), I think we can let it slide.

4. “You guys know what EDS is, right?”

It's no secret that another friend of mine, @greenyvertekins​, has Ehlers-Danlos Syndrome, which has a lot of unfortunate complications to it, but in laymen's terms basically means your body is more fragile than that of the average person's. This condition is rather rare, so much so that a majority of people have never heard of it. Sure enough, I was one of those people, until I became friends with Verte.

After hearing Verte talk about her EDS and what she's had to go through, along with doing my own research on the condition, not only was I considerably more informed on it, but I also felt very sympathetic to not only my friend, but everyone else who has had to experience it, particularly with how ignorant other people continue to react to it due to lack of public awareness. It made me want to do something in dedication, and in the process, a certain pony eventually crossed my mind.

This wasn't done for the sake of appeasing blue checkmarks on Twitter. I genuinely wanted to help raise awareness of EDS however I could, and I considered that perhaps its inclusion in my story would help do that, so long as it didn't sacrifice everything else about the story or forget that it was still a Sonic the Hedgehog story. Yes, it's a fanfic, and thus not as well known as a Hollywood blockbuster or a bestselling novel, but if even a few people were to end up learning about EDS through Lutrudis, I would be happy.

However, I was well aware that the idea of a Sonic character having EDS might be seen as a bit jarring, and if done badly, could potentially be accidentally insulting. So I made sure to consult Verte about it, saying that I would only go through with it if she was comfortable with me doing so, and made it very clear that I would try to make its representation as tasteful and as faithful as I can, despite the inherent nature of the Sonic universe that Trudy is part of.

By the way, horses in real life can fall victim to very similar disorders, so that was yet another reason why I went with that choice.

5. “Hey Benign, I'm shite at art, please help.”

I can't remember the exact conversation that led to it, but after I talked to @benignmilitancy​ about Lutrudis, she offered to bring the character's design to life through her mad art skillz. Initially I was hesitant to take up the offer, since I felt guilty about having to rely on someone else to show people what my own character looks like, but I was giddily honored by the offer and decided to agree as long as she was willing. Luckily for her, she wasn't working with a blank canvas so to speak, as I had a relatively complete image in my mind regarding what Trudy would look like, having already reasoned to myself why this or that would apply.

When putting my vision into words to Benign, I mentioned that...

- Since Trudy is the same age as Rouge, logically that should mean she's given a similar mature build as the latter, as opposed to the pipe limbs you see with the other female characters. Since Trudy spends a lot of time with Amy and Cream and has a lot of motherly interactions with the latter in particular, it helps signify that she's older than them.

- Being a horse, she would have two slits for nostrils rather than the usual dot nose that most characters have. Similarly, though you don't see them most of the time anyway, her feet are grey hooves, but they abide by the usual Sonic-style feet rather than being more realistic ala Clove's hooves, if only because the latter didn't look right for this character IMO.

- To add to her gentle warmth, her eyes would be a honey shade of brown. Just like how Cream has brown eyes. Again, it's like poetry, they sort of, they rhyme. Every stanza kinda rhymes with the last one. *shrug* Hopefully it'll work.

- Since EDS tends to apply several subtle physical traits to those who have it, at least some of them should logically apply to Trudy as well. Those with EDS often have a bluish-grey tint to their sclera, and they also tend to have paler skin than most, so Trudy would have those qualities too.

- To emphasize her love for Mother Nature and all its amazing sights, and also to contrast with Amy and Cream's colour schemes, Trudy herself would be green, albeit a more gentler green rather than the brighter tones of Vector and Jet, while her clothes would be blue, with slightly different shades depending on the clothing to prevent her from looking like a drab curtain. After a few initial sketches, Benign eventually suggested that some of her clothing could be changed to brown to balance out her overall colour scheme, as well as to further add to the subtle nature motif by having brown (trees) go along with blue (water) and green (grass). Needless to say, I wholeheartedly approved of this idea, and decided that the best placement for the brown sections would be for her leggings and glove cuffs.

- Speaking of, as a nod to her equine status, she would wear leggings that could pass off as Equestrian jodhpurs. (Not that she has an aversion to wearing skirts or dresses, since she's girly and tomboyish in pretty much equal measures, compared to how Sonic females usually lean towards one or the other.)

- People with EDS are unable to wear heels since they can hurt their feet, so heels were out of the equation for this little horsie. But I also figured that regular shoes or sandals wouldn't mesh well with the rest of Trudy's clothing, so I went with boots that were flat at the heels. They can allude to her adventurous streak AND allude to how there's a lady willing to kick ass behind that quiet, mellow, introverted demeanour. Plus, much like how being stomped by a real horse's hoof would be very painful to put it mildly, so too would being stomped by this horse's boot.

- Seeing how Trudy's arms have permanent scars on them - permanent scars being another common effect of EDS - she would wear elbow-length gloves over them, since she wouldn't be comfortable with showing them publicly. Note however that she would still wear long gloves even if she didn't have those scars, since they genuinely happen to appeal to her fashion tastes as well. Covering the scars up is just a bonus. And since long gloves are often associated with royalty and high class, they're also suiting for a lady who lives in a fancy castle (despite not being royalty).

- Her hair is kept in a big bouncy ponytail, not unlike Coco Bandicoot or Shantae, since it's both cute and tomboyish... that and because the visual pun of a horse with a ponytail was too good to resist, let alone it humorously mirroring the general shape of her actual tail.

- To contrast with Sonic's spiky quills, a lot of Trudy's design is emphasized to have a round quality, such as her tail, her ponytail, and her sloped ears. To add to this design philosophy, she would wear a headscarf similar to Wave's. Me and Benign contemplated on whether Trudy's muzzle should be more blocky like that of a real horse, before we agreed that the softer muzzle fit both the round aesthetic and her general character better.

- Trudy has trouble breathing in colder temperatures, and she also has a sensitive nose that reacts strongly to heavy scents. As such, she would have a bandanna that she could cover over her mouth and nose to help out with either of those things whenever the situation called for it, or any other scenario where she deems it appropriate. It helps that a bandanna suits a horse anthro anyway.

Truth be told, I was worried that I was coming off as too demanding. But Benign assured me that giving all these details helped rather than hindered. In any case, I was more than pleased with the final result, as it was precisely spot on to what I had in my head, although even her initial sketches during the work in progress were great stuff.

6. If Amy uses a hammer, then Lutrudis uses...

Trudy has surprising arm and leg strength despite her appearance, which is mainly due to her horsie genes. But since she's still got EDS, it's still wise for her to equip herself with a weapon or two to even the odds. I contemplated a few ideas in this case, including a quarterstaff, but ultimately I decided that the following would be a little more interesting, while still remaining appropriate for the character in question.

I thought to myself “What's stopping her from having two weapons, one for short-range, the other for long-range?” I decided on the long-range weapon first: bow and arrows, the latter of which would eventually include the Ethereal Zone-powered crystals inside the cavern below her castle. Goes without saying that a bow suits her elegance and how it can be used from a stealthy distance, and the use of the crystals and their different abilities also helps to keep the reader guessing on what exactly is the nature of the elusive Ethereal Zone itself. I also reasoned that Trudy using a bow was a nice contrast to Amy's hammer, although I'm aware that Amy herself used a bow in the Fleetway comics. But no one uses a bow in the games (yet), so it's fine, right?

As for her short-range weapon, I thought it'd be funny if she had a whip that resembled a riding crop. Not only would it be used to give Eggman's robots the Simon Belmont treatment, it could also extend up to a certain distance to help grapple onto things and allow her to overcome areas that would otherwise cause complications for her body. Is it a bit ludicrous? Maybe, but so is a blue hedgehog fighting a Roosevelt lookalike. You just kind of have to live with it.

So there you have it! Everything you need to know about how Lutrudis Hadeer's name, species, design, and EDS came to be finalised. Now when you turn her into a monkey without my knowledge or permission for the sake of dunking on her because you don't approve of me making fun of Kingdom Hearts rejects, at least you'll have a better idea on what you're actually talking about. :^)

[ts-indonesia]

Episode 1 - "Time to put on a bra and take some selfies." - Leigh

Episode 1 saw eighteen players, some fresh faces, and some veterans arrive on the Indonesia beaches, ready to play and ready to win. On a somewhat quiet Obor tribe, Leigh/Trent bonded over the age difference on the tribe (with a cunning plan reliant on using the word ‘lit’) and Anabel/Trent begun to form a bond that would survive the test of time.

On the Cahaya tribe, Matt/Jess feared the casting of one another, and Julian arrived plucky and ready to avoid another prejury experience, determined to improve. Owen/Stoner quickly formed HOS 22: Bermuda, and set to work spreading their connections across the tribe, forming at trio with Julian.

After a decisive victory in the Scavenger Hunt, it was revealed the returnees would have to send two returnees to the other tribe as “infiltrators” casting a sole vote. In an attempt to force the result, Julian went “offline”, in an attempt seen-through by his fellow tribe mates, but one that was ultimately successful, with Owen & Julian sent over as infiltrators.

At Obor’s tribal council, Evan quickly emerged as an easy vote, for his minimal challenge contribution. Two key alliances formed, a newbie majority alliance of Trent/Chris O/Leigh/Anabel/Lorelei and a girls’ alliance of Lorelei/Anabel/Leigh, with Anabel armed with an idol to boot.

As expected, Evan was sent out unanimously, but not before Julian trashed on the Cahaya tribe during tribal council... in a tribal seen... by the Cahaya tribe. With Evan out, the torches still inspiring such hate, and the infiltrators returning... that drew round one to a close.

MATT

first confessional give me idol? 

also hi Jones

OWEN

okay so im walking onto the boat.... my hair is thinning, my skin is getting wrinkly, im ancient at this point. nonetheless im back for like the sixth time. or seventh, honestly who can keep track anymore. i see these like cute little new people. ANABEL's vid is AMAZING gay icon, lorelei legend likes pokemon mystery dungeon,  Leigh is near chicago, like... i literally love all these new players but then i realize NONE OF THEM WILL BE ON MY TRIBE SKADSFJH. instead? im stuck with crazy ppl. there's julian who i voted out premerge in the season I won, and Matt who was in my most recent season nnn but NOT the matt I worked with in that game. and of all people CHRIS STONER LMAO. to be fair, chris isn't that bad bc I know he'll work with me hopefully but also I know he's a good player and wouldn't hesitate to cut me out. thank god olivia and jess are here tbh. omg and just when I thought it couldn't get any worse.....a furry shows up. WHAT THE FUCKKKKKK lmao I remember foxx back from the old old days and he seems scary :(((( good news is julian said him and isaac haven't ever gotten along and that isaac has voted him out twice :') so that might be good. and i'm fairly sure stoner and jess would have my back rn i just need to talk more to them. but for real, as soon as there's a swap or something if I survive that long? bye bye returnees :) i dont see myself getting very attached to anyone at the start so ill just do my best to ride out this beginning and maybe have some fun

LEIGH

I'm looking forward to seeing how long our tribe chat is just "Hey *Tribe Member's Name*!" 

I think it could go on a while.

OWEN

chris: ditching u for the other stoner tho chris: tumblr needs an all stoner f2... 7:23 PM me: thats ok im ditching u for the gay girl from the first post me: but for now? u and me <3 7:23 PM chris: deal stoner and I rlly did speak this into existence....... it'll happen

LEIGH

So this tribe has literal children on it. 15, 16 years old. I might have to backstab ACTUAL CHILDREN!  How do I even fit in with them? Trent suggested we could buy fidget spinners.  I said maybe yoga pants and a crop top?  There are people here BORN AFTER 9/11!!!  What the fuck I didn't even know you could be born after 9/11 and be out of kindergarten. What year is it?

EVAN

Just met some other castaways, they seem pretty chill.

FOXX

What's up. So this fox has returned after an eternity of a hiatus with more grey in his muzzle and hopefully some self-awareness to go with it. I played some pretty solid games in the past but after taking a long time lurking and sort of forgetting Tumblr Survivor Crooks asked if I wanted to play despite not knowing I have played before. That's how old and irrelevant of a has-been I am. Back from the dead. I'm glad my star has faded and I can go in with a blank slate. My biggest concern is that I am not on my anxiety medication so my social interactions, especially on call, will be a lot more stilted and I'm terrified this will impair my judgment but we'll see. Right now I'm not trying to come off as a huge strategist. I made an intentionally crappy intro video, made fun of myself, and just tried to be funny without coming off too weird/desperate etc. Almost like I'm not taking this too seriously. However, already I'm noticing a patterns in how people on my tribe are. I have no fucking clue who these mammals are. People will have extensive conversations about people, twists, running jokes, etc and I'm totally lost. That hiatus really did fuck with my ability to ingratiate myself with this community. That will be a huuuuge advantage coming to dealing with the newbies since I can leverage that to not seem so threatening but right now I think I'm doing a fair job being friendly and making people laugh. I hope. God. So my thoughts on my tribemates thus far: Stoner: Vaguely know who this guy is. Aptly named. He's clearly blazed as hell but I can tell he's bright and likable. Says "oh shit" a lot and he seems like depsite his facade he's probably someone I can work with. Isaac: We talked about Overwatch a bit and he seems nice but he's not coming on my radar too strong. Jess: Definitely made a fairly strong impression on me since we're similar ages, Francophone, and we bonded over our mutual detest and hatred of furries and then I calmly sneak in the fact I am a furry an hour later and holy shit I was trying so hard to not bust into tears. She's funny and likable and seems like she's someone I could work with. Matt: Talked a bit about me coming back. Very little in group call. Michael: Talked a fair amount about D&D and made some fun Upside Down jokes. Seems like we have a lot in common but him being a different time zone could prove hard to keep up with. Being the outlier on Time Zones is playing on Hard Mode. Olivia: Love her! We bonded over animals and she seems like a total sweetheart and I definitely wanna share pics of my cat with her some more! Owen: We talked a bit about literature and it was fun. Definitely seems intelligent and he's someone I know a bit about from Olympics. In an ideal world I'd want to work with Stoner, Jess, Olivia, & Michael but everything in on fire. Also, no luck on the idol so fuck me I guess

JESS

So... first night has been interesting? I was going to do your typical "first impressions" confessional but... FOXXX or whatever the fury's name is.... is playing too hard too fast. Am I being a Paranoid Patty and reading this the WRONG WAY entirely? Possibly. HOWEVER... It's been less than 5 hours since we were thrown into this hell hole of a game (The hosts are lovely individuals but we all know this is about to get insane) and he's telling me if I want to make a move that he's my guy? Ummm.... WE HAVEN'T EVEN GOTTEN OUR FIRST IMMUNITY YET? I'M NOT THINKING MOVES RIGHT NOW? I BARELY CAN REMEMBER YOUR NAME!

MICHAEL

https://youtu.be/Swisjdq1R4s

OLIVIA

Have I befriended a furry???????? Is this real life????? Is he actually a furry or just really in deep on this joke? Why are there so many Dylans in orgs? Also fucking goddamnit I like EVERYONE HERE I just wanna be friends with all y’all damn. All of the newbies are so adorable and seem so excited and unknowing to the pain that’s gonna come :’) Annabelle especially like my wig flew with that intro! I wanna meet them all. Also wtf is with the torches I WANNA KNOW ALREADY! Anyways that’s all I’m excited for this season. Owen and I renewed the o alliance :-) and Jess seems cool as hell I really clicked with her and the furry. Michael seems sweet and I already know Julian from Mykonos, the absolute crackhead. Real sweetie tho hopefully we’re friends. I hope I’m not coming off as too insane I was so nervous on the phone call with the tribe :( it was so fun but I felt like every time I said something it fell flat I felt so awkward abhhhhhahshsjaj. Anyhoo yay! New season!

Should I write the rest of my confessionals in japanese? Neko. Boom

JESS

So coming into this game with a TS under my belt is different... I still have no expectations whatsoever BUT I do know how HARD people go for in these games and I'm planning to go just as hard. The first night was wild. Everyone on my tribe except for Matt and Julian were lively on the tribe call. Everyone seemed pretty cool and super... out there.. I think Isaac might be the one to watch on my tribe. He's been around the block and knows most people on my tribe (new and old). WHICH IS WHY.. I'm going to try my best and get super close to him. I need to make sure I'm not disposable to these "older players" and as asset to these "newer" players. I just know need to cool my jets on the whole socializing bit in the main chat (Yes I know it's literally day 1). I want to be as irrelevant as possible so no one thinks I'm a threat but no one really wants to get rid of me either. Gotta focus on those INDIVIDUAL RELATIONSHIPS. Hopefully these other players with more TS's under their belts become bigger shields than me because if not... yikes on yikes.

ROB

I like everyone so far. Evan is giving me a few red flags because he’s only giving me one word answers, so i might take that into consideration when voting.

FOXX

We had a very fun group call with the tribe last night. Definitely haven’t laughed that much in a while. Love my tribe thus far so I hope we can keep the good vibes going. Jess & Stoner are people I feel like have talked with me the most Nd Olivia, Owen, & Michael are also friendly so I think I have options. One thing I’ve noticed is how casual and sociable this tribe is. Nothing is more frustrating than a tribe full of overserious gamebots (*cough* Selwyn *cough*) but it’s a group of funny and chill people. It’s gonna be a great game!

OLIVIA

I love these hosts 🙂 HATE the idol system but honestly it doesn’t change much I’ve never gotten an idol before and probably never will so it won’t change my gameplay lmao

I like Isaac a lot too! Forgot to say. But I’m also a little wary of him because I know he’s very experienced

JULIAN

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PKDvx7VxRC8

ANABEL

well. yesterday i found an idol on my second guess. and made two new friends. so yesterday was great. today was bad. i outed myself. my mom heard me tell my eyebrow lady that i was gay. this is a sad confessional and i wish i wasn’t so loud. im real fucking sad. sorry. but at least i have an idol and some friends.

LEIGH

Time to put on a bra and take some selfies.

I'm glad I shaved today for that tattoo selfie.

OLIVIA

There’s an alliance I’m not in isn’t there

Why am I so FUCKING awkward

ANABEL

im so fucking good at survivor like... good lord. trent and i are like best friends already (see, i knew this would happen, i always meet a nice old usually straight man and we become friends, it's like the hallmark of my survivor experiences) and we came up w a plan where i am gonna try and seduce evan and rob and make them my lil minions so im gonna lie to them and tell them that im a cheerleader bc that's hot right?? so ya my womanly charms will be utilized to their fullest potential. go me.

MICHAEL

https://youtu.be/aAqEUHoyy78

LEIGH

Can we talk about how bullshit it is to have "Lipstick in your tribe's color" when we're yellow and they're RED?  Honest to god might as well have "Lemon in your tribe's color" to make it fair.

Alex coming in with bold capslock "MAKE SURE EVERYONE ON YOUR TEAM HAS SUBMITTED AT LEAST ONE THING" ... Just DM Evan directly my dude.

OLIVIA

Feeling much better about this game today than I was last night I think I was just spiraling 🥰 we’re doing really well on the challenge and I hope we win!! Two people messaged me saying I’m doing great on the challenge and idk how to respond. Just tryna make sure we don’t lose I will NOT be the first vote out. Newbies go hard on scavenger hunts but I go even harder 😈

LORELEI

Ok so! I'm super bummed that obor lost the challenge, I really thought we would win! Now we have to get rid of someone and it sucks but I feel like we all know who it has to be. It's not even personal, it's just the fairest thing and the best thing for our tribe. Also, alliances are forming! I like Anabel, Leigh and Trent so I'm with them but I'm gonna try to connect with everyone so I'm not on the outskirts. I hope that the boys haven't formed an all boys alliance bc if they have, then the girls could be in danger. That's it for now!

STONER

guess I’ll follow Alex crook’s rules... https://youtu.be/ndsfCdjtcQI

Not much, about to sleep! https://youtu.be/v12a2AbklVw

MICHAEL

https://youtu.be/4inKBNkg87M

JESS

It's 2:30am so WHY NOT post ANOTHER confessional? Am I right? Honestly, we won which I'm BEYOND THANKFUL for. I hate tribal and I can now at least say I wasn't first boot. THANK GAGA. I'm just really trying to solidify things with Michael right now. I think out of everyone on my current tribe I can honestly see myself making a run at this game with him (at least up until merge). I offered him the prospect of sharing idol clues (it's literally the only collateral I have at the moment) so hopefully this doesn't bite me in the fucking ass. Other than Michael I was kind of hoping to somehow get closer to both Julian and Matt (plot twist I know). Matt has hosted me before and it's no secret he is a founding father of the "I Hate Jess" Club. However, these two seem to be the odd men out right now. They aren't overly socializing with people so there's a high chance they'll be taken out if our current tribe loses. HOWEVER.. I see potential numbers in them. So I can't let that happen. As of right now both Foxx and Stoner seem to be the ones to watch out for. I just can't let them think or know... that I know that about them. Stoner gives me mega "I say the same things to everyone" vibes. He's clearly playing a strong social game so far. I just need to play dumb and ensure that he thinks he can control/trust me. Honestly, as soon as he doesn't see value in me I have no doubt he's gonna cut me. Foxx on the other hand, just seems like he's playing too hard. He's another guy who I strongly believe is going to drop me as soon as I have no value to him. I'm just going to have to have to lay low and be dumb. Owen scares me shitless. He's giving me PTSD from my last season because homeboy is playing a strong contender game. He's definitely a pick to win. He's another person who I'm going to have to try and pretend I'm under their spell. Am I playing too hard too fast? I'm not entirely sure. I'm just going to slow my role a bit and see what happens

MATT

What’s Up? WHAT’S UP?!?!?!?  how dare you ask me such a ludicrous question.  Alright so first real general confessional of the game here.  I wanna eventually try and record some video confessionals, but that’s if i have the time. but for today, we’re good with a text.   So starting off the game on the Cahaya Tribe, which consists of entirely returnees.  So right off the bat it makes nervous bc i’m really not around much in the community.  Yeah i’m in a few VL’s and i played once before, but i really don’t know anyone.  So being the odd one out for that reason was a real fear for a little bit. Looking at my tribe, there are a few names that stood out the most to me.  Owen stood out bc we both played Kuwait, and even tho we never met each other, we still have that little connection.  Chris motherfucking Stoner is here too!!  Chris is such a chill dude.  we played together once before and i voted him out pre swap.  But that game was so long ago, and i really don’t think he cares (i know i dont).  So i’m looking forward to reconnecting with him.  Jess is also here!! Jess and I had met previously because i hosted her in Celestial Komnata, and we had some rough misunderstandings there.  But months have passed and I know that I am well over it bc i frankly don’t care.  But i feel like she still probably cares which will not be good for me. Michael was the last person that stood out to me.  Not because I know him, or know of him.  But because he’s the only Non-North American in the cast, which means if i can stay up late and socialize with him, he might favor me over other When i looked at the other tribe, i think the only person i know is Anabel?  We played together once, i hosted her, so we have somewhat of a connection that if we swap together, i hope that works in my favor.   So on the first night of the game, i was very busy with Celestial All stars premiere, so i didn’t get to talk as much as i would’ve liked.  which resulted in me telling jones on call like 5 times that i’m gonna be first boot.  But the first night, i talked with everyone (to some degree) except Issac bc i forgot Issac was here.   The torch twist thing i have no idea what it’s going to be and it worries me.  My first thought is that it somehow would result in a third tribe bc there were six torches.  so someone would light a torch and be placed on that tribe. But it’s too early to figure out what they even mean and i’m sure as the game progresses.  

LEIGH

Woooo so what's happened.  Well, we lost the challenge and it wasn't even close. I haven't looked at the spreadsheet to see the final scores but I feel like Me, Trent, and Anabell did the most work.  I talked to a few people last night and put Evan's name out there cuz I know most people are too scared to say a name first and I feel comfortable enough about my position to be the one to say a name that most people should agree with. A mutual alliance formed between me, Chris, Trent, Anabell, and Lorelei.  Within it, an all girls 3 alliance formed which I'm super happy to be part of.  I'm sure Trent will be paranoid about that sooner or later so hopefully Chris and I can make him feel confident.  Trent is sharing idol guesses with me so I'm hoping that means I'm like the closest person to him right now.  I like the number of options I have so far. 

I feel like Facebook might be falling out of style so maybe these youngin's don't even have it or aren't familiar with Facebook ORGs.  The only other people here who know my history as far as I know are Foxx and Chris, and I hope neither of them bring it up. If I can stay UTR that'd be nice.  Also, I think I need to stop capitalizing letters/using punctuation if I wanna fit in with these kids.  Did I already confessionalize that? Not sure.

Apparently Lorelei missed the HII thing day one haha oh well. I'm compiling guesses from me, Chris, and Trent. Hopefully I'll get them from the girls too. I'm not showing the girls' guesses to Chris though. I don't think he'll be mad at me for it. We gotta play close to the vest sometimes yo

TRENT

So far I think the game is going alright. My tribe is incredibly quiet for some reason but I guess that isn't too bad. I made a connection with Anabel and Leigh pretty early on. Decided to suggestion and alliance and both we in so I added Chris and Lorelei so we had a majority. This is the alliance I wanted from the beginning. I wanted the older people to stick together and then add in one young one. I think it's a pretty solid idea. Ive been messaging both kenny and dylan as well. I don't want an alliance with them, but I would like for them to like me and want me to stay in. I also think im getting along pretty well with the two infiltrators right now. Julian was spilling all kinds of info about his tribe to me this morning and then me and owen connected really well. Hopefully this will help me in the future if there is a split soon.

OLIVIA

Jess was hinting that her, foxx, stoner, and I should get together and I said we’d make a nifty cool group. A NIFTY COOL GROUP WHAT THE FUCK IS A NIFTY COOL OLIVIA

ISAAC

This twist can become SO detrimental. And I’m so MAD Owen went over there first because that bitch is unbelievably charismatic. Hopefully it paints a bigger target on him but like it’s whatever. I like my tribe. We seem chill and I seem to vibe the most with Olivia and Jessica Messica. Foxx is cool. Julian is....Julian ig. Matt has yet to talk to me so that’s a wig ig. Michael seems nice but ngl I get kinda bored when I try to talk to him? He seems very gamebot-y which could be frightening but idk he’s not my biggest problem atm. I’m terrified of Owen - he’s unbelievably charismatic and has the ability to twist people around his finger so like I’m gonna keep my eye on him and I’m not gonna let him out of my sight. With that being said I do wanna see him live for at least a little while for meat-shield purposes. Anyways I hope I do well this game but 👀 I have a sinking feeling.

KENNY

So yeah.. it seemed like a pretty laxxed day and Evan was the vote. How true is that? Idk but I have to trust strangers. But just heard he through my name out like 20 minutes ago, with less than 3 hours to go. So I just hope everyone’s being honest 😭

OWEN

what’s up? Everything :’) I couldn’t help as much in the scav hunt as I liked because I was living my life. But thankfully we won anyways bc my tribe kicked ass! I still contributed some and I made sure to keep talking to people. I still love olivia, and matt has been fun to talk to. Don’t rlly know why but foxx seems hard to get to know. And not big into michael rn either. I think I will stick with Julian and chris, hopefully can pull in jess and olivia to do something if we lose. Chris mentioned that both him and jess DO like foxx so we will see.... The main thing is that this twist worked out perfectly for me!!!! I couldn’t call when we were decided and I REALLY wanted to go. Thankfully I was able to take advantage of the majority vote thing and pretend like I wasn’t online hehe and by some miracle I got picked to go. MEANT TO BEEE and let me say I was right, I do love this tribe so much more than my own for some reason. Trent is great, Annabel and I are talking like I wanted, the Chicago girl and the Pokémon mystery dungeon girl. It’s so good over here, but the biggest surprise has been chris o. I really like him and could see myself working well with him if we swap. The only thing is that Julian said he was sketchy sometimes..... hehe so down the road I might have to tell chris o that Julian is after him :~) but I don’t need to snake too hard yet, for right now I’m a crocodile lookin like a log. Vote should be easy on Evan from what I’ve heard but if it changes? I’ll be living for the drama!

LORELEI

It looks like Evan is the consensus. I feel really bad though because it's not his fault. He tried to plead his case with me by saying that he wasn't the only one that was inactive, but that doesn't change the fact that he contributed the least. I know it's the fair thing to do but I feel bad about it. Voting out people is so not fun, I really hope we win the next challenge so I won't have to do this again.

EVAN

I’m pretty sure I’m fucked. I’ve been trying to get people to vote Kenny but idk fuck

KENNY

“I know I’M voting Evan = I might be voting Evan but I know others are voting you”. Or am I being paranoid

JULIAN

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GaH8l2R-Xt0

MATT

i feel like i did pretty good on the scavenger hunt.  i managed to scoop up a bunch of items that were left over and some that were high points.  so i do feel good about my performance and think i pulled my weight.  Speaking of pulling weight...Julian is...there.  I think he only submitted one item which was the Vine.  I mean i get you have work and are busy, but like...most of us were the same?  even issac who was celebrating his birthday did more.   after challenge results we got on call in the tribe chat (olivia, chris, michael, myself). and we were talking about the infiltrator twist and the challenge results.  We agreed to have myself and Olivia go, but we needed 5 for a majority.  Julian shows up and says he “might wanna go tbh”.  and then disappears.  We’re on call laughing bc we wanna submit this and not randomize it, so someone who isn’t here gets forced to go.  BUT JULIAN won’t talk in tribechat even tho we’re all like, “hey we’ll take turns and you can go next time.”. but no.  Julian is only talking in olivia’s pm’s and she’s telling us whatever he’s saying. eventually the hour is up, and julian got randomized to go.  that fucker strong armed us into randomizing and he still went god damnit.   I think that call was good for my game because we were just chatting for like 1.5 hours about the game stuff and people.  After michael/chris left the call it was just Olivia and myself on call and we stayed on for another hour and a half(????? ish??? probably less i can’t remember).  But that was a nice call and i think helped start to solidify a bond.  Olivia is someone i can see myself working with in this game.  Same goes for Michael and Chris.  I feel like that call group was pretty natural and we got along really well.  I’m too nervous to initiate any kind of alliance talk, but i know it’s gonna have to happen eventually.  i’m sure alliances already exist on the tribe and i’m obviously not in them.  I think for starters, i need to work on conversations a bit more, because they are somewhat weak right now.  My goal for the future is to work on olivia, michael, chris and owen.  Those are the people i feel most good about.  Foxx is cool but idk it seems hard to gel with them.  Julian is cracked and i hope he’s our first boot.  and the four of us on call forgot issac was on the tribe so that’s not good for him. i think i’m in a decent position for now, but i’m not gonna count my chickens before they hatch (i think that’s the saying idfk)

[ellanainthetardis]

Meet the Trinkets! I hope you enjoy this chapter! Let me know!

[FF] or [AO3]

10. Seventeen Weeks

Four was strangely peaceful for a District with such a high tourism ratio.

Effie had been there for over a week and she loved it. It was big enough to be anonymous and, so far, she hadn’t been spotted by any crazy fan, hater or reporter. Her pregnancy had hit the news and had remained on the front pages for a few days. Then, the hype had abruptly died down after an official statement had been released – she supposed she had Plutarch to thank for that. People thought she was still in Twelve, shuttered in their house in the Village, and that was just as well.

It allowed her to walk along the ocean front walk in peace.

Nobody really paid any attention to her anyway. She supposed when they pictured Effie Trinket, they still imagined her with flamboyant outfits and vibrant colored wigs… The woman in a simple purple dress, with a blue ribbon belt and a bow at the back that discreetly outlined her pregnant stomach under her apricot open coat, probably paled in comparison.

She had made a real effort to look a little more like the woman she used to be before the war that morning though. She had styled her hair in a crown braid. She was hoping it was fancy enough that her mother would forget to be disappointed by its plain natural color.

She was very nervous about seeing her parents again.

She had hoped the long walk along the beach from Annie’s house to the resort would help soothe her nerves but they were far too frayed.

Haymitch’s behavior hadn’t helped her either relax or reach a decision during the last week. She had spent her time worrying about him being sick, then not taking her calls, and she had finally convinced herself that he was about to kick her out of their house and to leave her on the streets – which was ridiculous on numerous levels but she had decided pregnant women were allowed to be ridiculous and irrational about some things. She had been so confused by his refusals to talk to her… They had parted on good terms and suddenly…

Now she was mostly worried though.

She hadn’t believed he was ill, at first, but the children had sworn he was, he said he was and Eileen had more or less confirmed she had crossed path with him once or twice and that he didn’t look good. She had been toying with the idea of taking a train back but, since the night Johanna had called him against her wishes, he was dutiful about getting in touch every day. He claimed he was doing better and their conversations were becoming less awkward and tensed, more… normal.

Granted they avoided talking about the elephant in the room – or, rather, the shrimp in the uterus – but…

The resort was huge and the beach, in that part of the District, was crowded with people from all over Panem. Despite it being late November, the air echoed with laughter, seagulls and the sound of children running around. She hesitantly made her way to the towering building that gleamed under the sun, feeling strangely out of her depths.

This used to be her world: luxury, four stars hotels, staff ready to bent in four to please her… Now… She felt disconnected from all that.

Habits died hard, though. It was natural to plaster a fake polite smile on her face, natural to nod and demand… She might not look like a billionaire anymore but there was still something regal to her bearings. She had been raised a certain way.

The restaurant’s maître d’hôtel recognized her. His eyes widened a little and he suddenly was very eager to please, despite her less than expensive dress and the not eccentric enough hair and make-up. She tipped him generously and he assured her the resort had a discretion clause, that no one would know she was there. It suited her needs perfectly.

She had made sure to arrive ten minutes early but, naturally, her mother was already there, sitting like a queen at the best table in the room – because only the best would do for Elindra Trinket. It was next to a bay window overlooking the ocean and the view was breathtaking. Water as far as the eye could see, melting into the blue sky in a horizon line so thin it was hard to discern.

“Effie!” Elindra exclaimed.

She sounded genuinely pleased to see her, so Effie relaxed a little when her mother stood up to kiss the air next to her cheeks. There had been more plastic surgeries, she noted in a passing thought, a facelift at least and some Botox injections around the eyes and the mouth. Her hair was a bright orange with yellow strikes – most people had adopted a more subdue District fashion but some still resisted and followed the pure Capitol trends – and styled in a puffy bun on top of her head. Not really inconspicuous. Effie definitely felt underdressed.  

“Mother.” she smiled. “I hope I am not late…”

Her mother waved that away. “Perfectly on time. On the dot. As usual.” A praise. That was unusual. Elindra latched on her hand, preventing her from sitting down just yet. “Let me look at you.” The woman’s blue eyes roamed on her, from her crown braid hairstyle to her apricot heels, stopping for a long moment on her round stomach. “Well. You do not look good. You are far too pale. Not too worry, nothing a good make-over won’t fix… They have wonderful salons in this resort.”

“I have been a bit tired, I must admit.” Effie offered, her smile straining. She should have known praises would be followed by that sort of comments.

“I would expect so, yes.” Elindra giggled, letting go of her wrist to touch her stomach. Effie tensed and instinctively stepped back. Her mother took her hand away as if she had been burned.

“My apologies.” she breathed out, horrified by how rude her own behavior was. “I…”

“No matter, no matter.” her mother dismissed. “Sit down. Let’s have a nice brunch. They have the best chef this side of the country.”

She did as she was told, sitting down and gracefully unfolding her napkin to place it on her lap before reaching for the menu. Her fingers were shaking with apprehension.

“Is Father not joining us?” she asked, after five minutes spent reading without understanding a single word.

“Business meeting.” Elindra hummed. “He is eager to see you. We will stay a few days, there will be time. If you are agreeable, that is.”

Effie peeked over her menu to find that her mother was staring at her instead of perusing her own. It occurred to her, right then, that she wasn’t the only one who was nervous. There had been screams the last time they had seen each other, accusations on both parts… Effie loved her family, and she knew that despite everything they loved her, but they were difficult. It had always been difficult.

“I have no plans.” she offered. “I am staying with some friends.”

“Really? Who?” Elindra asked, leaning a bit closer, like she always did when possible gossip was involved.

“Annie Odair and Johanna Mason.” she said, a bit ill-at-ease. The victors weren’t recluse by any mean, they were well-loved in the District – even Jo who had been adopted despite her less than stellar temper – but they had left the public sphere at the same time Haymitch and the children had and she was uncomfortable discussing them with people who did not belong to their tiny family.  

“Oh, I see.” her mother nodded, cringing a little at the mention of Johanna’s name. Seven’s victor had never been her favorite – too brash and too rude. “I heard Annie had a son…”

“Finn, yes.” Effie provided, a bright smile stretching her lips. “He is a delight.”

She was fond of the boy. Two years old and already a charmer… Every time she looked at him, she couldn’t help but remember his father. It was bittersweet.

The conversation was threatening to stall to a halt and she was thankful for the waiter who seemed to appear out of thin air. Elindra ordered tea for the two of them – and Effie shouldn’t have been impressed her mother remembered what her favorite was, because Elindra was the perfect hostess and probably knew how everyone in the Capitol took their tea, but she still was – and an indecent amount of food.

“No eggs.” Effie hurried in interrupting when her mother ordered two plates of that. “Please, the smell… I cannot bear it.”

“No eggs.” Elindra amended firmly, before proceeding to order almost everything else on the menu. It was stupid because Effie knew very well she would hardly touch a dish but she didn’t try to stop her. That was her mother’s way. “Are eggs the only thing you cannot stomach?” she asked once the waiter was gone.

“Morning sickness weren’t so terrible and I do not suffer from them anymore… But eggs…” She wrinkled her nose. “I am forcing Haymitch to get rid of them. It is tricky because if we do not eat them, he tends to forget to pick them up. Then, they hatch and we do not need any more geese than we already have, let me tell you. I think the children have been eating omelets and scrambled eggs every morning for the past three months, poor dears.”

A flash of horror passed on her mother’s face and she doubted it had to do with the children’s fate regarding eggs. It was probably picturing her surrounded by poultry.

“I was not aware you were living in a farm.” Elindra commented. It was almost painfully careful.

“We do not.” she chuckled. “The geese are Haymitch’s pets.”

“Really?” her mother winced. “How… droll.”

“It is a peculiar choice.” she granted. “But he has his reasons.”

And she wasn’t about to explain that his dead brother had been fond of animals and that his dream had always been to have a small farm instead of going to work in the mines. Haymitch’s decision to take in a gaggle of geese had been a sign of healing on his part, a way of finally putting his family to rest.

And he was fond of his birds. As annoying and noisy as they were.

Food came to their table, stalling the conversation once more. Effie immediately snatched a blueberry muffin, suddenly starving. Her mother shot her a disapproving look but poured their tea without comment.

“Did your…” Elindra stopped, swallowed whatever she had been about to say back down, and forced a sweet fake smile on her lips. “… victor come with you? Are we to meet him?”

“He stayed home.” she answered and it was difficult to keep her polite, cheerful mask on. “He is unwell. Flu, as I understood.”

“I see.” her mother said, her piercing eyes watching her – cataloguing, she was sure, all the tells Effie wasn’t able to control. “Is everything alright between the two of you? A pregnancy can be unsettling for a relationship.”

“We are fine.” she snapped, more harshly than she had intended it. She looked down at her cup of tea and took a deep breath. “Tell me, how is Lyssa? And her sons?”

Her eldest daughter was a subject Elindra could talk about for hours without pause. Effie made an effort but half of it flew high over her head. The food was good though and she supposed Haymitch would have been pleased by the amount she ate – her mother was certainly not but, to her credit, Elindra didn’t comment on her weight once.

Elindra insisted on them going to the resort’s beauty parlor once they were done with brunch and, since they had managed to go without any attempt at murdering each other so far, Effie accepted. There was nothing of the kind in Twelve and she enjoyed being pampered and fussed over. Her mother was all over her like she usually was all over Lyssa and Effie wasn’t used to that. She was still a bit wary but Elindra was doing her best to coax her into lowering her guard.

For instance, she knew her mother was dying to ask about what they had talked about during their last phone call: about the war and, most of all, the baby. And yet she didn’t jump at her throat like Effie had expected her to. Elindra was bidding her time, that much was clear to her, but she appreciated the respite nonetheless.

Accepting her invitation to dinner after a whole day of mindless activities was easy. And she truly was pleased when her father finally showed up at the restaurant. Tadius, too, had had a few facelifts since the last time she had seen him but he mostly looked the same as ever with his dark dyed hair. As soon as he saw her, he flashed her one of his rare smiles. She was also treated to a hug – a short one but it meant the world to her, she melted in her father’s embrace and it was so good she almost started crying for no good reason.

It was a nice dinner.

As well-behaved people, they avoided sensitive subjects and talked about anything but serious topics. She was happy when she came back to Annie’s house and she was happy when she called Haymitch.

“So it went well, then?” he asked, clearly surprised and, she thought, a little bit wary.

“Yes!” she chuckled. “I actually made plans to go shopping with Mother tomorrow.”

“Don’t overdo it.” he warned.

Minding that advice wasn’t difficult. The way Elindra fussed over her, she would have thought she was Lyssa.

Effie actually managed to relax during the next following days, even though she had a scare one morning because of a peculiar fluttering sensation in her stomach that wouldn’t go away. It eventually stopped only to start again later. She worked herself into a panic at the spa she was visiting with Elindra until her mother, after forcing her to tell her what was wrong, declared she was simply starting to feel the baby moving.

She didn’t know who was more excited about that.

“I missed it.” Haymitch grumbled on the phone later that same night.

“You wouldn’t be able to feel it.” she reassured him. “It is too soon.”

“You’re sure it’s the baby moving and nothing serious, yeah?” he insisted. “You should check with a doctor… Maybe…”

“Annie and my mother are both adamant.” she cut him off. There had been talks about visiting Four’s hospital but she had refused again and again. “I feel fine, I promise. I haven’t lost blood and I do not think anything is out of the ordinary. I even gained a few pounds…”

He let out a deep sigh, pacified but not convinced. “Still… I missed it.”

“I will come home soon.” she hummed.

“You better.” he snorted. “The house’s a fucking mess.”

She pursed her lips, having no trouble imagining it. “I suggest you clean it before I come back or you will get better acquainted with the couch. I am not  your maid, Haymitch.”

She and her mother had developed some sort of routine. They would meet up at the resort for brunch and then go explore the various shops along the ocean front walk.

Elindra was being very generous with gifts and Effie felt a bit bad when she realized she had filled Annie’s guestroom with tons of shopping bags – and she felt even worse when she realized she would be forced to buy another suitcase to bring everything back.

Still, she enjoyed walking around in her brand new maternity dress – a lovely black piece with red dots that she had accessorized with red heels, a red scarf and a cloak like red coat. New clothes and shopping sprees had always lifted her spirits and she had forgotten how fun it could be to do that with someone who actually knew something about fashion.

There were tons of little shops on the front walk, not just clothes but buildings dedicated to fishing, water sports… Everything one could imagine. On retrospect, she didn’t know why she was so surprised to find herself faced with a baby store. She would have walked right past it if her mother hadn’t stopped to peer through the window at the strollers on display. They were on discount.

“Perhaps we should check it out.” Elindra suggested. “Strollers are awfully expensive even in the city. We might get a good bargain.”

Effie’s enthusiasm at the bright sunny day faltered. “Mother…”

“I know, I know…” Elindra sighed distractedly, still studying the two strollers. “It would make little sense to buy one in Four when we can probably find a better model in the Capitol… Nevertheless…”

“We probably won’t need a stroller, Mother.” she snapped. “I told you we…”

She couldn’t say it.

Now that she could feel him in her belly…

It was only a fluttering, the tiniest of sensation, but she had grown used to it awfully fast. She was looking forward to it every time.

It was her baby moving inside her and the idea that she might have to give it up was breaking her heart.

And yet, at the same time, the idea of being responsible for a child…

She turned her back to the store and walked in the direction of the beach and the low concrete wall that separated the sand from the pavement. She had to hop a little to sit there and she was sure that, if Haymitch or the children had seen her, she would have been in for a lecture about overtaxing herself.

“Euphemia, really!” her mother huffed, coming to a halt next to her and throwing an embarrassed glance around. “We could have found a public bench if you insist on sitting down in the street.”

“Perhaps you should go back to the resort, Mother.” she declared. “I think I will go back to Annie’s.”

Elindra studied her, her lips pursed in displeasure at her tone. “Or you could finally tell me what all this nonsense about adoption is about. You were so upset on the phone…” Her lips pursed even more. “It disturbed me. We have our arguments but I never wished you ill, you know that.”

“I do.” she whispered. Elindra loved her. Not well, perhaps, but she knew her mother loved her. And, truth be told, she had been trying to do better in the last few days.

“Tell me, then.” Elindra ordered. “On the phone, you said your… victor…”

“You can call him Haymitch.” she cut her off with a vicious look.

“My apologies, darling, but given your condition I would rather call him your husband.” her mother sighed. “Not that it would give me great pleasure to do so but, at least, the whole situation would be proper. What is he to you? How should I refer to him in society? This is truly an etiquette conundrum and…”

“My everything.” she interrupted again, staring at the line of stores on the other side of the wide walk. “If you wish to know what he is to me, what he means to me, this is it. He is my everything. He is my best friend, my lover, and, if you insist on a coined term, then, yes, my husband in all but name.” She shook her head. “I know you do not like him but he is a good man, one of the best men I know, truly, and I love him.”

“I know you do.” Elindra sighed. “However…”

“I would not be here without him, Mother.” There was a warning growl in her voice she didn’t try to polish into something refined. “He saved me. Times and times again, he saved me. And he takes care of me. Those last two years… I do not think I would have survived without his support. We take care of each other. We are a team. I know you won’t understand but…” She shook her head again. “He saves me.”

She almost expected a lecture about how Effie wasn’t sixteen anymore and shouldn’t behave like a lovestruck teenager. Instead, Elindra studied her with rapt attention. “Are you referring to what happened during the rebellion?”

Effie closed her eyes and took a deep breath. She had no wish to discuss that part of her life. No wish. And yet…

“He fought to have me found and rescued, yes.” she whispered. “And then, the rebels would have had me tried and executed with the others. He… He bargained for my life but President Coin… She dangled me over his head to keep him under her thumb.” She hesitated to say the rest because her mother was the worst gossip – but she also hoped her mother could make the difference between what to keep to herself and what to disclose. “If Katniss had not killed her, I do not think she would have survived much longer either way. If you understand my meaning.”

Elindra’s eyes hardened but she couldn’t quite say if it was in disgust, anger or approval.

“I understand.” her mother said. “Well. Naturally, he is not what we hoped for you. Nevertheless, he was a key player of the rebellion and that does have its weight nowadays. This is a new Panem, after all. Having been a part of the revolution is fashionable. And he is a Quell victor. It is certainly unfortunate he does not have our social standing but he could still be groomed, perhaps.”

“Good luck with that.” she chuckled. “I have been trying for almost fifteen years now.”

“He has yet to meet me, darling.” Elindra smiled a frightening smile but her eyes soon darted to her stomach. “You said he wants the child.”

“He never wanted children.” she sighed. “But suddenly… Since we have been told I was pregnant he has been…” She rubbed the baby bump almost unconsciously. “I think he wants it very badly. And that frightens me.”

“Why?” Elindra frowned. “Are you afraid he would be a bad father?”

“Of course not.” she huffed and then averted her eyes. “However, I do not think we are the best suited to be parents. There is his alcoholism…”

“Would he hurt the child?” Elindra interrupted her.

“No.” Effie snapped defensively, glaring at her. “You think he is a brute. He is not. He never hurt anyone when he was drunk. It is himself he wants to harm, not others.”

“I see.” her mother answered. “Then, it is simple. Ban alcohol from the house. He can drink elsewhere at his own leisure.”

“Nothing about this is simple.” she scoffed. “If it was only Haymitch… The main problem is me. I cannot… I killed children.”

“Nonsense.” Elindra dismissed.

“Mother, I am sure you think being an escort was very glamorous…” she started only to be interrupted again.

“It was certainly very glamorous.” her mother scolded her. “But you will remember I warned you against accepting that position. I told you you wouldn’t be happy working in the Games industry.”

“Because I was Twelve’s escort and you were ashamed of me.” she accused.

Elindra snorted and looked around, anywhere rather than at her. “Because you were always too softhearted and far too smart, Euphemia. It is easier to drown in the glitter than to look at the scratched veneer underneath.” Effie was speechless. Her parents had always been vocal supporters of Snow. Always. Elindra dismissed her surprise with a wave of her hand. “The world was what it was and we all do what we need to survive. You did not kill anyone, Effie. They would have died anyway.”

“But I was part of it…” she countered slowly.

“Weren’t we all?” Elindra asked in a hard voice. “I cared not for those children and I still do not care, I am only concerned with my own. You will find it horrible, no doubt, but I do not share your rebellious tendencies and your grand ideals. I am more pragmatic than that.”

She stared at her mother, not quite surprised by what she was claiming and yet feeling as if she was seeing her for the first time.

“It was never about ideals.” she denied slowly. “I am pragmatic too. It was all about my family. Katniss and Peeta, I mean. And Haymitch too. The Quarter Quell… If at any point I made a conscious decision to go against President Snow, it was because of the Quell. He threatened my team. He would have had them killed and I couldn’t…”

Elindra pursed her lips, obviously not truly at ease with the subject they were discussing. She kept glancing around as if she was scared someone would overhear them. Or maybe she was worried because Effie was sitting on a wall instead of on a bench. It wasn’t a ladylike behavior and, just like her, Elindra liked her masks too.

“And how does this prove you would be a bad mother exactly?” her mother challenged. “From what you are telling me, you would have sacrificed everything for your victors. The Mockingjay and the boy… You consider them to be yours, you told me so before. You tried to protect them.”

“And I paid the price.” she shrugged, ignoring the reproaching look she got at that casualness. She placed both of her hands on her stomach, almost protectively, her voice breaking a little. “They tore me apart mother. Inside and out. I was a broken doll when I woke up in the hospital. You cannot imagine…” She stopped talking and took a deep breath, blinking away the tears she was certain her mother would scold her for. “I still have panic attacks and flashbacks. Nightmares. There are days I can barely convince myself to get out of bed and others when I do not manage to at all. This is no life for a child. My burden should not be his.”

Elindra watched her for a while, sighed, and covered one of the hands still resting on her stomach with hers. “But you will get better.”

“Will I?” Effie laughed through the tears burning her eyes. “It does not feel like it. We have so much baggage… Both Haymitch and I… This is not just something that will go away, it is something I have to learn how to live with. I am scarred for life, inside and out. Will I always manage to put my child first? Before my own fears and insecurities? I am not certain we should make the gamble.”

“There are other solutions that do not involve you giving him away.” her mother insisted, squeezing her hand. “Your father and I had a long discussion about this and… We would not mind… That is… We could take the baby in.” Effie opened her mouth but Elindra continued before she could cut in. “Naturally we would be delighted if you came too. You would have help in the Capitol if you would rather not be by yourself… And not just with your… With Haymitch. He would be welcomed to stay too if he so wished. As I said, he is famous enough and he knows important people. It wouldn’t be a source of embarrassment, not with a positive spin on it. And we would love to have you home, Effie. Both your father and I. We would love it.”

There was something almost desperate to her voice, a plea that unsettled Effie because her mother was a lot of things but never desperate.

“Mother…” she winced.

“Think about it. Take your time.” Elindra urged her. “Wouldn’t it be better if your child was with family, with his grandparents? This way you would still be his mother. You could take him back at any time. Trust me, darling, it is not so easy to be estranged from one’s child.”

In the end, the only thing Effie could do was agree to think it over and talk to Haymitch about it. She had known how that would go well before she even called him.

She barely listened as he told her about how someone from the Hob had tried to convince Katniss to adopt a puppy – although the puppy had, according to him, already been the size of a small dog. Apparently it was an amusing tale but she couldn’t focus.

She interrupted him halfway through.

He reacted in the way she expected him to.

“You want to do what?” he shouted.

“I did not say I wanted to do it.” she snapped. “I said perhaps we should consider it.”

“Forgot about how miserable they made you already?” he mocked. “Forgot about all the petty comments and the…”

“Haymitch, you weren’t always an example of a well-behaved partner yourself.” she retorted. “Did you forget about those times you called me a bitch if not worse? People change.”

“That’s bullshit.” he scoffed. “Assholes like that…”

“You are talking about my parents. Be careful.” she warned.

“Should have known they wanted something.” he went on. “Well, they can suck it. Nobody’s taking my kid to the Capitol, Princess. You want to go back? Go back. You don’t want us? Fine. Then you leave. But the shrimp stays with me. We’ll be just fine on our own.”

“I never said I was leaving.” she hissed. “Do not put words in my mouth.”

“Can’t you see that’s what they’re aiming at? They’ll lure you back with the kid.” he sneered. “Don’t be fucking stupid. They don’t care about the baby, it’s you they want. They’ll try to marry you off to one of their assholes and…”

“I cannot talk to you when you are like this.” she shouted back, losing her patience. “If you cannot have a civil conversation…”

“How the fuck am I supposed to have a civil conversation about this with you when you’re not here?” he snarled. “You’re the one who left. You’re the one who can’t make up her mind. I’m clear in my head, Effie.”

“Well.” she huffed. “I am sorry to try to put the well-being of my child before my selfishness. Goodnight, Haymitch.”

“Don’t you dare…” he warned.

She hung up.

It was rude but satisfying.

Johanna leaned against the wall, arms folded in front of her chest, lips pursed. “He’s got a point, you know. You can’t trust Capitols.”

“I am a Capitol.” she growled.

“Case in point.” Jo taunted.

It took all she had not to become ruder.  

[olehistorian]

Almost unrecognisable from her role as the dowdy housekeeper in Downton Abbey, Phyllis Logan is starring in an exotic new medical drama. She talks to Judith Woods about seizing the day and those Downton movie rumours… 'Obviously I never had a career to speak of before Downton Abbey,’ says Phyllis Logan drily, raising an eyebrow for further effect. ‘I sometimes wonder how on earth did I fill my time?’ It’s not true, of course, but we all know what she means: sometimes a jobbing actress is swept away by a juggernaut of a role that takes her a very long way from where she used to be. The Downton effect has had an impact on the career of every member of its award-winning ensemble cast. Lily James has starred in the BBC’s War & Peace and the movie Cinderella, Michelle Dockery landed a role as a criminal in the gritty US show Good Behavior, Joanne Froggatt played a serial killer in the ITV series Dark Angel – and now Phyllis is set to star in a new ITV drama series, The Good Karma Hospital. But it’s her years in service to the Crawley family that have made her a poster girl for ladies of a certain age who refuse to accept that life holds no more adventure. When her doughty but warm-hearted character Mrs Hughes finally found love with the pompous but kindly butler Mr Carson, it struck a blow for midlife love. In those days ‘Mrs’ was an honorific title bestowed on senior female staff, regardless of whether they had ever wed, so Mrs Hughes’s comical angst about whether he would be expecting ‘a full marriage’ struck a chord with any woman over 40 who has ever fretted about going to bed with a new partner. ‘Mrs Hughes was aerated about the sex thing because she probably hadn’t had much experience, but that turned out to be the least of her bloomin’ worries,’ acknowledges Phyllis. ‘God preserve us all from nitpicking middle-aged men who can’t abide change.’ In the phenomenally successful series, which ran for six seasons, Mr Carson (played by Jim Carter) turned out to be irrevocably stuck in his ways – the routines of the big house where he had been serving for many years. Ironically, it was his new wife’s performance in the couple’s kitchen (as opposed to the bedroom) that proved his greatest source of disappointment. Eventually, with affectionate pragmatism, the pair decided he should eat his meals at the Downton kitchen, cooked by Mrs Patmore, as before. ‘It’s a very identifiable scenario,’ says Phyllis, 61. ‘When a more mature couple makes a life together, each brings certain expectations and baggage and of course there’s always need for compromise, which some men in particular find difficult. Phyllis, once best known for playing posh totty Lady Jane Felsham in the 1980s and 90s series Lovejoy, was a late starter herself when it came to settling down. She met her husband, Pirates of the Caribbean actor Kevin McNally, in the 1993 miniseries Love and Reason when she was in her late 30s, but they didn’t get round to tying the knot until she was 55. ‘I had always sworn I would never have an actor in the house because they are so much trouble and so vain, but you can’t legislate for Cupid’s bow,’ she says. When she got together with Kevin, theirs was not a series of careful compromises but a classic coup de foudre. ‘I never thought real love – the sort where your blood tingles and your world explodes with joy – would happen to me at my time of life. I believed I had missed out. But I’m ever so glad it happened.’ A couple of years later, aged 40, she had their son David. He is now 20 and studying music and music production at university in Leeds. Once upon a time, reaching six decades was a milestone to be dreaded rather than celebrated, but, in well-cut jeans and a flattering floaty top, her burnished hair hanging loose, Phyllis provides incontrovertible proof that though life may not begin at 60, it sure as heck continues at a rip-roaring pace – as long as you have the right attitude towards the rollercoaster. ‘We packed David off to university not so long ago and as we drove back to our house in West London we were listening to the Elaine Paige show on Radio 2,’ recalls Phyllis. ‘She played Peggy Lee singing “The Folks Who Live on the Hill” and as soon as I heard the line “and when the kids grow up and leave us” I burst into absolute floods of tears and spent the rest of the journey splashing about in the passenger seat. But since then I’ve thought a lot about empty nest syndrome and how once your chick flies the coop it gives women the freedom to stretch their own wings once more, too.’ And as fate would have it, Phyllis’s new role in The Good Karma Hospital has allowed her to do just that and will doubtless prove a source of inspiration to a great many female viewers in a similar position. Set in India, the series features another estimable actress, Amanda Redman, 59, who plays an eccentric expat running a ramshackle cottage hospital, which is short on resources and long on compassion. ‘It’s a cross between Holby City and The Best Exotic Marigold Hotel but with dark secrets, so it should be right up everybody’s street,’ says Phyllis. ‘I play Maggie Smart, who has come to India for her daughter’s wedding and becomes unwell, so ends up in hospital and falls deeply in love. Not with a man – she already has a husband – but rather with the community, the culture and the way of life. She’s a fascinating character who has such humour and joie de vivre and it was great to play a woman finding herself and connecting with a wider spirituality.’ Phyllis spent months filming the six-part series on location in Sri Lanka. She, too, found herself smitten with the place and the people and at one point Kevin flew over from the US where he is in the cast of the US television series Turn: Washington’s Spies and they managed a 12-day break together. ‘We stayed in a hotel on the beach and it was bliss. The majority of the population are Buddhists and seemed so calm, open and thankful for whatever life gave them; I think we could all learn from them.’ All the same, Phyllis isn’t entirely convinced she believes in karma as a concept. ‘It would be nice to think that if you are a decent human being then eventually things will turn out right,’ she says. ‘But fate can intervene and pull the rug out from under you without warning and there might be nothing you can do.’ It is something she and Kevin can speak of from personal experience. Phyllis’s mother died from a dementia-related illness aged 90, but it was the agonisingly slow decline of Kevin’s mother over many years that proved more devastating. ‘Kev’s mother was diagnosed with Alzheimer’s in her early 60s and from then on his father became her carer and it was so hard for him. She reached the point where she didn’t recognise her own son and was agitated and upset because she had no idea where she was or who she was; that was heartbreaking to witness.’ Phyllis is an ambassador for Dementia UK and does what she can to support the charity’s work. ‘It’s such a cruel disease. I am aware there’s a genetic component so I do brain-training on my phone every day. Will that help stave it off? I have no idea; I think of Iris Murdoch – such a clever woman who dealt with words and complex memories all her life, and yet all those things that made her so creative and unique were taken while she was still alive. Ultimately, all you can do is cross your fingers and make the most of every day.’ Phyllis is certainly doing that. Last year was a veritable Air Miles bonanza; as well as her sojourn in Sri Lanka she went to Sydney for a Downton DVD launch, Los Angeles where the ensemble cast of Downton won yet another Screen Actors Guild Award, and then to New York to receive the prestigious Great Scot Award from the US branch of the National Trust for Scotland (previous recipients include comedian Billy Connolly and actor Alan Cumming). She wore a dress bought in John Lewis embellished for the occasion with a tartan sash and matching ribbon. ‘I’m not interested in fashion,’ Phyllis confides. ‘It’s just not on my radar. Whenever I’m doing a contemporary role, the wardrobe mistress will usually say, “Let’s go to Selfridges and get a personal shopper.” Most women would probably love it, but my face falls because I absolutely hate trying on clothes. One of the things I loved about Downton was the fact I had two outfits and maybe a coat if I got to go into the village; the girls in the Crawley family kept having to go for fittings every time there was a big dinner, which would have driven me mad.’ Logan loves… Reading Alan Bennett’s Keeping On Keeping On. I love him; my husband Kev played him in the stage version of The Lady in the Van. Listening to The Today programme on Radio 4 and Classic FM. Watching I do enjoy a good nature documentary. Planet Earth II was spectacularly good. Guilty pleasure A whole bag of Kettle Chips with a crisp glass of Picpoul de Pinet. Beauty product Boots No7 moisturiser; it’s not fancy but it does the job. Desert island luxury A karaoke machine, stage, lights and all the songs from the 70s. I’ll make a row of coconuts for an audience and there’ll be no stopping me. The ongoing international popularity of Downton means Phyllis and various other cast members are still asked to appear at events to meet the fans and launch DVDs. She’s often asked about her wigs and whether she kept one; she had three identical hairpieces all of which she affectionately dubbed Elsie. ‘People ask me if I was tempted to take a wig or that big bunch of keys I carried, but that would be theft, because these things aren’t my property,’ says Phyllis emphatically. ‘Besides, if there’s a Downton movie, which I hope will happen, all the props and costumes will be needed.’ Ah yes, the Downton film; rumours still swirl but so far there’s been no confirmation. According to Phyllis it may yet happen if – and it’s a huge if – the cast members can ever be gathered in one place long enough. ‘It’s like herding cats!’ she laughs. ‘We’re all so busy and in different countries, but it would be such fun to get together again. The camaraderie on set was extraordinary.’ Phyllis was in every episode of the family saga. Her husband even appeared in a handful of episodes as Horace Bryant, the stern father of an army major who fraternised with housemaid Ethel (Amy Nuttall), getting her pregnant before he died in action. Horace persuaded her to hand over his grandchild to him, which was brutal but necessary as she had been sacked from Downton in disgrace and had taken to prostitution in order to survive. ‘I was quite miffed that the producer had offered Kev a job without even consulting me,’ laughs Phyllis. ‘I wouldn’t dream of queering his pitch – although I do think I’d be great as Johnny Depp’s mother in a Pirates of the Caribbean film [in which Kevin plays Joshamee Gibbs]. And every lad needs a cuddle from his mother now, doesn’t he?’ Her eyes glitter with the sort of mischief Mrs Hughes would most certainly not approve of, but now Phyllis has emerged from the shadow of her fictional alter ego, she is keen to push boundaries. Last summer she resolved to challenge herself by taking on a theatre role in a dazzling touring production of Noël Coward’s Present Laughter, alongside Samuel West. ‘The prospect of going back on stage was a bit frightening, but that is exactly why I embraced it,’ she says. ‘I can be a bit of a scaredy-cat so I have to push myself and I was so very glad I did. It took me right back to my early days as an actress: booking my own digs, sitting on the seafront on my day off eating fish and chips. I also got to see fascinating places such as Canterbury, Cambridge and Brighton.’ Seeing the world – be it near or far – is something she gently urges all women to do once the kids have left. ‘Travel does broaden the mind and fill the senses,’ she says. ‘It gives you a new perspective and there are so many beautiful regions in Britain that I can think of no better way to spend time than exploring them because you’re a long time dead – so carpe diem, ladies!’ The Good Karma Hospital will be on ITV next month. Phyllis is an ambassador for Dementia UK and is supporting its campaign timeforacuppa.org Styling: Natalie Read. Hair: Alex Price at Frank Agency. Make-up: Lucy Gibson at Frank Agency using Clinique. Table and vase, both Habitat Read more: http://www.dailymail.co.uk/home/you/article-4128572/Interview-Downton-star-Phyllis-Logan.html#ixzz4WSbvI2CF Follow us: @MailOnline on Twitter | DailyMail on Facebook