#yes im tagging a bunch of omgcp ships bc they tend to do this a lot

[nurseydexunsolved]

QUICK AND DIRTY BREAKDOWN OF ALCOHOLIC BEVERAGES:

This post is multifunctional: in fanfic with college aged characters, many of y’all are in highschool and have never been drunk, so you inadvertently make some choices that make anyone who has ever been drunk laugh.

BUT ALSO: i had never been drunk until summer after senior year. I didn’t know what to expect, but I got to test my limits around people I trusted, and that’s not always the case. It’s a new school year, and I don’t want you freshies accidentally drinking way more than you should and getting in trouble, getting alcohol poisoning, or even just puking on your dorm floor, because that shit is nasty. SO STAY SAFE AND RESPONSIBLE, BUT USE THIS INFO TO HELP.

(disclaimer: i am a 5′5 under 150lbs 19 year old girl with low to med alcohol tolerance. If you/your character is, say, a 6′2, male 200lb frat guy who drinks vodka like water, scale up accordingly)

this got long so it’s under the cut:

SHOTS:

1-2 shots: feeling nothing

3 shots: maybe feeling something? maybe just a placebo

4 shots: I’m fi–oh wait, i just stood and the ground moved. ok, maybe i’m almost tipsy. Starting to feel loose.

5 shots: definitely in the tipsy zone. feeling good. stumbling but not falling. whatever Kind of Drunk you are, here is when it starts to appear

6+ shots: I have not definitively documented these, because I am good at knowing my limits. Some people are not. Basically just looser and looser, easier to laugh, more outgoing, etc. But from what I hear, tipsy is the feel-good zone, and then you want to feel even more good so you drink more and then you hit Too Drunk and it’s a downhill slide into FeelingLikeShitville

SHOT BREAKDOWN IN OTHER DRINKS:

jungle juice/tub juice: this varies based on recipe, but i would say it is USUALLY one shot per drink. Sometimes they amp it up to two, but guys. Alcohol tastes like shit. If you want it to taste okay, you’ll need way more parts kool-aid/hawaiian punch/orange juice than alcohol. So please, for the love of god, do not have your adult male college student take one sip of a “mysterious concoction” and start making poor choices immediately. He’ll need, like, 3 cups min before the bad choices start rolling in.

wine/beer: what you see as the usual serving size is typically equivalent to one shot, but it’s more liquid, so takes longer to drink and therefore longer to get drunk.

OTHER:

CHASERS: when you’re taking a shot of vodka, tequila, fireball, whatever, it can be hard going down. So you’ll have people using “chasers” like lemonade, sweet tea, sprite, etc. You’ll either drink it right after the shot or right before and then after the shot.

DIFF ALCOHOL TYPES: different types of alc affect you differently. For example, tequila and beer make me nauseous, so I avoid those. My friend says when she’s “wine drunk” it’s different from being regular drunk. Mixing alcohol types as well (like beer and liquor, etc) can make some people sick. Quick list of some types/brands of alc: tequila*, vodka*, wine*, beer*, champagne, cocktails(margharitas, mimosas, etc), whiskey* (usually, especially for college students, this means fireball, which tastes like those shitty cinnamon candies your grandma always had out and feels like an actual warmth in your chest). There are more but I’m a gross college student and * are most common for me

HANGOVERS: i have never had a hangover bc even while drunk im an overthinker, and after every drink i have a drink of water, and this has staved off every hangover. Also, it makes you pee a lot, and peeing at a house party is An Experience

EFFECT OF ALCOHOL:

there are “types” of drunk, and they often mix together including but not limited to: Chatty Drunk, (me. i cant shut the fuck up. every thought i have exits my mouth. this is less embarrassing and more tedious, since most of my thoughts are inane and boring) Sleepy Drunk (my best friend. It is important to know if your friend is sleeping or passed out: one is an effect of alcohol, one means they are literally dying and should be taken to a hospital) Annoying/Loud Drunk (this is obvious) and Horny Drunk (my other friend is notorious for pointing to a guy and being like “I am going to fuck him” and then I have to physically drag her away and call an uber, despite also being drunk)

Another friend will, without fail, Every Single Time put on “Break Your Heart” by Taio Cruz, and proceed to play her 2010 playlist. Drunk people have reliable quirks and do weird shit. idk man, but usually people will know exactly what kind of drunk their friends are, and prepare.

I’m sure I’m missing stuff and I don’t actually drink a whole lot so if anyone has anything to add, PLEASE DO. Also, if y’all want a part two I can talk about house parties or other college shit

if you’ve been bothered by this kind of stuff or made these mistakes in fic or if you just wish you’d had this knowledge PLEASE REBLOG: i never really saw accessible info like this because the only info about alc i ever saw was like “ONLY EVER DRINK TEENY SIPS ONCE YOU ARE 21 BC ALCOHOL IS BAD” and that’s just not helpful