jessiecamm

[artemismatchalatte]

01. 02. 2023: Gerry and Adelaide during their first season.

In my head, they were both running around in Gerry's yard just yelling at each other (lovingly) in a reckless lesbian abandon. This was part of a scene idea I had for my WIP.

Lady Davenport (Gerry's mother) and her third husband, Gerry's stepfather, were in the scene too but I didn't draw them here.

[ninus9607]

3. Mcdreamy & Bar

two weeks later...

I was sitting on a bench in the local park around midday and children were running all over the place. God, I hate kids. After a week, I finally had a day off from the hospital, meaning I slept at least 8 hours. I had forgotten how good sleep was. After the best sleep of my life, I decided to go for a walk and that's how I ended up here. I thought it would be here quiet and peaceful, the perfect place to relax. But I was wrong about that.

There was a terrible noise everywhere. Children were chasing each other and their parents were trying to calm them down. It's just a horrible mess. I tried to ignore it and pulled out the book that I had wanted to finish reading. But after a while, I gave up. As I got up on my way home, something bumped into me. It almost knocked me down, but somehow I stopped it and didn't fall. With an angry look on my face, I turned to see which kid had bumped into me.

But, when I turned around, I saw a cute little golden puppy with the ball in his mouth, looking at me. As soon as I saw him, my eyes turned into little hearts. I was on my knees next to him, caressing him with my hands.

"Hi puppy, oh my god,  you're so cute and smart and beautiful." I praised him in a baby voice. He kept looking at me and his tail was wagging happily. He threw the ball he had in his mouth at my foot... I think he wanted me to play with him. I probably shouldn't just go and play with a stranger's dog, but who could resist the cutest little dog I've ever seen?

I picked up the ball and threw it just a little bit away from me. The dog ran with such energy and in a moment he was back.

"Such a good boy." My heart is bursting with happiness. I have loved dogs since I was a little girl and this little one is just a darling. All of a sudden, I heard someone screaming, and as I turned towards the sound, I saw a woman looking at me, and as she looked at the dog I saw a relief in her face.  it must be the dog's owner. The dog's owner was a woman, with brown hair. But she was far away and I couldn't see much of her face.

When she came to us, she immediately started to apologize. "Oh my God Max! I've been looking for you everywhere!" she said to the dog, and she put the dog on her collar. "I'm so sorry that Max bothered you, he ran away and I couldn't find him anywhere."

When my eyes met hers bright blue eyes, a shiver ran through me. I stood there as if frozen. But I tried to get something out of myself. "O-h t-hat's not a problem, he's very sweet and playful, but you should keep an eye on him, he might get lost." God, why is this happening to me? Darling, gay panic  Fuck even my brain makes fun of me.

"Yes, I'm not used to looking after a dog, it's my niece's but they're on holiday so I'm looking after him."

"If you ever need any help I'd be happy to help." Am I really just offering to help her? Where did I find the courage?

"Oh, I would love to see you again."  And she winked at me with a big smirk on her face. "Can you gi-" Her phone started beeping. She pulled it out of her pocket, and a little sigh came out of her. "I'm so sorry, I have to go, but I'm sure we'll meet again sometime." And then she left.

I sat on the bench for another half an hour or so, thinking about the strange woman I had just met. Something was different about her, some force attracted me to her and I don't even know her name. And she was definitely my type. She looked like she was about 30 or 35 years old. If someone asked me what my type was, that would be the only answer. 

OLDER! Women or men? Both.

I looked at the clock on my phone. It said it was around 3 pm. I agreed with Meredith that I would visit her at 4 pm, so I had plenty of time, and I didn't want to sit in the park for another hour, so I decided to walk, it's about 40 minutes to Meredith's place. Throughout my entire walk, memories of that woman kept popping into my head, It was quite annoying. I felt like a creep who was obsessed with someone.

By the time I got to the Meredith driveway, it was about 3.45 pm. I knocked on her door, but there was no answer. I have tried it twice more, but still no response. Maybe she's asleep? or dead on the floor. OK, that's enough. I took the key she had hidden under the flower pot. Typical American. I walked down the hall to the living room, but no one was there.

"Mer?" nothing. "Meredith?" still no response "Guys?"

Had no one been home? Not even Izzie? No one? That seems strange to me. Izzie's always home. Then I heard a faint voice, but it was more like a sigh. It came from upstairs. I went upstairs to see what was going on, the closer I got to Meredith's room I think I found out what was going on. I think as a normal person I should probably give her some privacy and I wanted to, but I wanted to make fun of her so I just walked up to the door and was going to knock. But when my hand touched the wood of her door, the door flew open. I saw what was going on in the room.

"Meredith?? and Doc. Shepherd???" I was shocked.

"Doc. Anderson you shouldn't be here," He said quickly and covered them with a blanket. Meredith was on top of him and looking at me embarrassed.

"So McDreamy is your McDreamy? I had no idea you had it in ya."

"It's not what it looks like. I can explain." Meredith said with fear in her voice.

"I don't think it's necessary, but don't worry, I won't judge you, but really, McDreamy?" I started to laugh

Meredith smiled at me, knowing I wouldn't tell anyone. She replied "Oh come on, we call him McDreamy for a reason. Don't say his hair isn't great."

"Well, he's not the worst, but he doesn't have a beard. That's a big minus."

"Hey?! I'm still here?" Derek said.

"Darling not now," I said, pointing at him, and he looked at me with amusement.

"But isn't he a little bit too old for you?" I asked Meredith.

"Says Miss I want to fuck all, who are older than me by at least 10 years?"

"Good point Mer, you got me, okay so, you can go back to whatever you were doing, see you tomorrow at the hospital Mer," I said as I closed the door and went into my house. I think I can say that tomorrow's shift with Derek is going to be interesting. When I got home, I made coffee because I was pretty exhausted and a good cup of coffee solves everything. I sat down on the couch with my coffee and turned on the TV.

There were only some reality shows on TV, it was very unusual to watch American channels on TV. Sometimes I miss the reality shows I used to watch at home. I looked at my phone and realized I had forgotten to call my mom. It's a bit harder to communicate with Europe because of the time difference, but if I remember correctly it should be around noon. So I clicked Wattsap and called her.

The phone call lasted about two hours, and my mother asked me all sorts of questions, especially about work and how I was doing. She was very worried about me, but she knew I could take care of myself. Then she told me about the holiday she was taking with her boyfriend. She sounded happy and I was very happy for her.

After the call ended, I sat down at my desk and checked my emails, because it happened on my first day at work, I really don't underestimate it anymore. But my email inbox was empty, so I guess nothing's wrong. I opened Google and scrolled through some news. Nothing very specific.

After a while, I got bored, so I closed it and thought what should I do, maybe I should go to sleep, but it was too early to go to bed, even though I should go to bed when I have free time, but I don't feel like it. So I came up with a great idea.

I can have a few drinks at the Joe Bar where we went with Izzie and George. Then I can get some sleep. So, I took a quick shower and got dressed up in something nice, and maybe a little bit more revealing. I wear a black dress with a slit. I knew I wasn't the skinniest, but I looked good and that was more important to me.  I ordered an Uber and went to the bar.

I walked into the bar and was surprised to find that it was quite full. I sat down on one of the empty stools at the bar. Joe turned to me and asked me what I wanted to drink. but a strange man joined us and put his hand on my thigh. It was a younger guy, but he was obviously drunk.

"Can I buy you a drink, gorgeous?" His hand was still on my exposed thigh and it wasn't very comfortable.

"Well, I'm sorry, but I'm not interested" Probably his drunken brain didn't want to admit that a woman had rejected him, so he still touched me. All of a sudden, a protective arm wrapped around my body at my side.

"I think you have heard that my wife is not interested, so get out of here." My wife? What the fuck is going on? I looked at the woman who called me her wife to protect me from that guy, and to my surprise it was the woman from the park I couldn't stop thinking about. The man muttered a couple of curse words and walked away.

"I hate men who are pushy, even when you say no," she said in an angry tone of voice. But her hand still didn't move from my side.

"Thank you for saving me from him, but I also feel like you are stalking me," I said in a teasing way. But I expected her to just laugh at it, but she surprised me.

"Maybe i am, but let's move on to something more important. I can buy you a drink, darling?" She was looking at me intensely, waiting to see how I'd react. Well, I already knew that I would automatically say yes to her.

"I would be happy if you would," So she ordered us drinks and we sat down together at the next table. Her whole personality enchanted me. She was so charismatic and dominant, and yes, older. She was exactly my type.

"Will you tell me your name then, sweetheart?" Her voice was very hot.

"Lena"

"Amelia" And we shook hands with each other.

"So tell me, what is a beautiful woman like you doing in a bar like this all by herself?" Amelia asked as she took a sip of wine and her eyes kept looking at me. Don't look at me like that. I don't think I can resist you anymore.

And so we spent the whole evening talking, laughing and, above all, flirting. She was very nice and funny, she told me about her family and about her brother who is also a doctor like her. I didn't tell her that I worked in a hospital. I didn't want to tell someone I didn't know very well, although Amelia would be a different case.

As the night went on, I had a few more drinks and that's not a good idea for a cheap stomach. I was a bit drunk and that's not a good combination for me.

"I really enjoyed it Amy, but unfortunately I have to go home and go to bed." I was on my way to my feet, but her hand stopped me.

"You're definitely not going to go alone, I can at least go with you, I want you to be safe."

"No, you don't have to."

"That wasn't a question my dear, I'll take your things and take them with you." And that is what she did.

"Wait a minute, we have to pay, I have a wallet in my pocket."  I stopped her in front of the door but she just smiled at me and said.

"My love, I have already paid for it a long time ago, so you don't need to worry about it."

if I wasn't so drunk, I would definitely argue with her, but she's just awesome. So we left the bar together. I felt safe with her all the way, which was quite difficult for me. When we reached my street, I hugged her to say thank you. She was surprised but hugged me back even though, she was taller than me and it was quite visible.

"Thank you for seeing me off, my house is close by, I'll be safe" I tilted my head up so that I could look into her eyes.

"Okay, you'll be safe from here, I should probably go." Except she didn't move, we stood very close to each other, I could feel her breath. And then I took that step, I don't think I would have done it if I hadn't been drunk. I leaned over to her and kissed her, waiting to see if she was going to move as well. After a while I felt her hands on my body, one of them pulling me even closer to her and the other grabbing the back of my neck.

This woman knows her way around me. Her lips tasted amazing, and I had just experienced the best kiss of my life. When we ran out of breath, we pulled away from each other but she wouldn't let go of me from her grip. My eyes were only on her, trying to find out what she was up to, but before I knew it she was pushing me against the nearest wall and kissing me.

We kissed for a long time. It was indescribable. But she stopped it because she didn't want to use me when I was drunk. How sweet of her. She can use me whenever and wherever and I will be grateful to her.

"Honey, I'm enjoying this very much, but we have to stop because you're drunk and not thinking clearly, we'll talk about it tomorrow. Okay?" She put her hand on my cheek.

I didn't want to stop but she was right, so I just nodded at her. She gave me one last kiss and then turned and walked away. I reached home, I put things on the table in a completely disorganized way. After that, I went to the bathroom, brushed my teeth, and changed my clothes into some comfortable pajamas. Still pretty drunk, I set my alarm for work and sat on the bed.

As soon as I had laid myself down on the bed, my mobile phone started to beep.

Unknown person

Good night Len, I really enjoyed today and I can't wait to see you again, sweet dreams                       

Amelia S ♡

I wanted to write back to her, but the exhaustion got the better of me and I fell asleep.

AN: WOW, It was supposed to be a short part, but somehow it turned out to be the longest one also I apologize in advance for my English and grammar. ( my dysgraphia caused it) Also if you have any questions feel free to ask anything. See you at the next part <3

PS: YES BECCA, Addison will be in the next part.

xx

[the-rivers-sad-gift]

Lilly Wachowski coming out in a statement to press of her choice after having her and her sister’s entire livelihoods threatened by the media.

This is her statement, I’ll provide a link to the article.

“

‘SEX CHANGE SHOCKER—WACHOWSKI BROTHERS NOW SISTERS!!!’

There's the headline I've been waiting for this past year. Up until now with dread and/or eye rolling exasperation. The "news" has almost come out a couple of times. Each was preceded by an ominous email from my agent—reporters have been asking for statements regarding the "Andy Wachowski gender transition" story they were about to publish. In response to this threatened public outing against my will, I had a prepared a statement that was one part piss, one part vinegar and 12 parts gasoline.

It had a lot of politically relevant insights regarding the dangers of outing trans people, and the statistical horrors of transgender suicide and murder rates. Not to mention a slightly sarcastic wrap-up that "revealed" my father had injected praying mantis blood into his paternal ball-sac before conceiving each of his children to produce a brood of super women, hellbent on female domination. Okay, mega sarcastic.

But it didn't happen. The editors of these publications didn't print a story that was only salacious in substance and could possibly have a potentially fatal effect. And being the optimist that I am, I was happy to chalk it up to progress.

Then last night while getting ready to go out for dinner my doorbell rang. Standing on my front porch was a man I did not recognize.

"This might be a little awkward," he said in an English accent.

I remember sighing.

Sometimes it's really tough work to be an optimist.

He proceeded to explain he was a journalist from the Daily Mail, which was the largest news service in the UK and was most definitely not a tabloid. And that I really had to sit down with him tomorrow or the next day or next week so that I could have my picture taken and tell my story which was so inspirational! And that I really didn't want to have someone from the National Enquirer following me around, did I? BTW—The Daily Mail is so definitely not a tabloid.

My sister Lana and I have largely avoided the press. I find talking about my art frustratingly tedious and talking about myself a wholly mortifying experience. I knew at some point I would have to come out publicly. You know, when you're living as an out transgender person it's … kind of difficult to hide. I just wanted—needed some time to get my head right, to feel comfortable.

But apparently I don't get to decide this.

After he had given me his card, and I closed the door it began to dawn on me where I had heard of the Daily Mail. It was the "news" organization that had played a huge part in the national public outing of Lucy Meadows, an elementary school teacher and trans woman in the UK. An editorial in the "not-a-tabloid" demonized her as a damaging influence on the children's delicate innocence and summarized "he's not only trapped in the wrong body, he's in the wrong job." The reason I knew about her wasn't because she was transgender it was because three months after the Daily Mail article came out, Lucy committed suicide.

And now here they were, at my front door, almost as if to say—

"There's another one! Let's drag 'em out in the open so we can all have a look!"

Being transgender is not easy. We live in a majority-enforced gender binary world. This means when you're transgender you have to face the hard reality of living the rest of your life in a world that is openly hostile to you.

I am one of the lucky ones. Having the support of my family and the means to afford doctors and therapists has given me the chance to actually survive this process. Transgender people without support, means and privilege do not have this luxury. And many do not survive. In 2015, the transgender murder rate hit an all-time high in this country. A horrifying disproportionate number of the victims were trans women of color. These are only the recorded homicides so, since trans people do not all fit in the tidy gender binary statistics of murder rates, it means the actual numbers are higher.

And though we have come a long way since Silence of the Lambs, we continue to be demonized and vilified in the media where attack ads portray us as potential predators to keep us from even using the goddamn bathroom. The so-called bathroom bills that are popping up all over this country do not keep children safe, they force trans people into using bathrooms where they can be beaten and or murdered. We are not predators, we are prey.

So yeah, I'm transgender.

And yeah, I've transitioned.

I'm out to my friends and family. Most people at work know too. Everyone is cool with it. Yes, thanks to my fabulous sister they've done it before, but also because they're fantastic people. Without the love and support of my wife and friends and family I would not be where I am today.

But these words, "transgender" and "transitioned" are hard for me because they both have lost their complexity in their assimilation into the mainstream. There is a lack of nuance of time and space. To be transgender is something largely understood as existing within the dogmatic terminus of male or female. And to "transition" imparts a sense of immediacy, a before and after from one terminus to another. But the reality, my reality is that I've been transitioning and will continue to transition all of my life, through the infinite that exists between male and female as it does in the infinite between the binary of zero and one. We need to elevate the dialogue beyond the simplicity of binary. Binary is a false idol.

Now, gender theory and queer theory hurt my tiny brain. The combinations of words, like freeform jazz, clang disjointed and discordant in my ears. I long for understanding of queer and gender theory but it's a struggle as is the struggle for understanding of my own identity. I have a quote in my office though by Jose Muñoz given to me by a good friend. I stare at it in contemplation sometimes trying to decipher its meaning but the last sentence resonates:

‘Queerness is essentially about the rejection of a here and now and an insistence on potentiality for another world.’

So I will continue to be an optimist adding my shoulder to the Sisyphean struggle of progress and in my very being, be an example of the potentiality of another world.”

Lilly Wachowski

http://www.windycitymediagroup.com/m/APPredirect.php?AID=54509

In case you didn’t know, the Wachowski siblings are the extremely artistic writers and directors behind such films as The Matrix, V for Vendetta, and Cloud Atlas. Once rumors of their true gender identity were clawed out by the vulture media they were slowly but surely forced out of their own lives. The last time mass media, and certainly America, had either of the sisters in mind was when the press was dragging both of them through the mud. Making jokes for the whole world to laugh at, at the expense Lilly and Lana Wachowski.

With all the LGBTQ alphabet soup positivity that’s supposedly shoved down our throats now, all the ‘movements’ that make people think anything is going to be different, it’s pretty fucking sad how little has changed in all of history for trans women.