#yes we still love shitty horror movies and fun cartoons

[spoofyleaf]

Mom was right, we will find people who get us.

[a-song-of-quill-and-feather]

Favorite Childhood Movies

Post ten GIFs of movies you loved as a child, then tag ten people. Optional: Tell us why you love(d) the films you picked.

tagged by @trench-coat-wearing-angel thank you this was a nice little trip down memory lane!

First of all I feel like saying that I have shitty memory, like it’s very hard to remember childhood shit in more than vague ideas. So like remembering movies I liked took me a while, and some of these I only remember the vague memory and feeling of it rather than why I liked it or what it’s about beyond a basic idea. But whatever here we go, not in any particular order:

1. Scooby-Doo on Zombie Island

I mean what’s not to love? I could probably put all the scooby-doo movies from the 90s-2000s era (witches curse, cyber chase, etc.) because I remember vividly watching them on cartoon network whenever they were on as a kid. I put this one specifically because it’s probably the best (though actually it’s tied easily with witches curse tbh)

2. Snow Queen (2002)

(first off i could only find like two gifs for this movie so...) Okay like this one is one I loved as a kid. Whenever me, my sister, and my cousins stayed at my (dad’s side) grandparents house we’d go to blockbuster and we’d get to pick out movies. I would always pick this one, like every time. Plus my cousins always picked Jurassic Park and at that point I was terrified of that movie (while I love it now) so this was what I watched while they watched that. Also when Frozen came out I was lowkey disappointed because it’s based off the snow queen but is pretty much NOTHING like the original fairy-tale (which is one of my fave fairytales because of this movie) so like it made me a little bitter

3. Moulin Rouge

Yeah... uh not really a kids movie. But literally one of my favorites both then and now. Like I adored this movie. I even stole the dvd from my grandparents because I wanted it at home. I just, I loved the love story and the music and the vibes. Just I adored it. (but yeah... I do have to question why I was allowed to watch this when I was under the age of 10?)

4. Scooby-Doo (live-action)

Okay a lot of my childhood was evidently Scooby-Doo filled. And I mean, with masterpieces like this how can I complain? Seriously though, this movie was so fun and just great at the time and now. Plus like literally perfect casting.

5. The Pagemaster

This movie I remember my (mom’s side) grandparents having this movie in their collection in their RV and I remember it always being one of my go-to’s to watch whenever we went camping or were staying in the RV somewhere. Like it was one of my favorites there. Also I thought it was cool that it was live action and animated. Also the horror section was SO SCARY

6. Scooby-Doo and the Ghoul School

Yes. Another scooby-doo movie. like I said apparently my childhood is 80% scooby-doo. I’m not complaining. This one though it’s like one of those secret special memories where I remember it always being special whenever I caught it on tv and like I remember it seeming like it only came on once in a blue moon. Idk this one’s got like weird memory vibes attached to it but in a good way.

7. Oliver and Company

This one is still my favorite disney movie tbh. Like it just makes me really happy to watch it. Both then and now. I remember loving this as a kid, don’t remember my reasoning, but I know I did. (also I still really want an orange cat so I can name him Oliver)

8. Peter Pan (2003)

I still think this is hands down the best Peter Pan movie to date. It’s just so good and I’d watch it a lot as a kid. Also I think I had a crush on Peter as a kid too so. It was just a magical movie and so good. 

9. The Little Vampire

I actually watched this recently because I was feeling nostalgic. Okay, so I remember loving this movie every October when it would come onto Disney Channel. It was definitely one of my favorites during that time of year to watch. And, if I may say so, it still holds up considering. 

10. Tuck Everlasting

Another movie I rewatched recently out of nostalgia! It just was a movie I really enjoyed, and I also have memories of watching it whenever my mom would bring me and my sister to her office. I mean, I remember we’d bring along a small (old and probably heavy) tv and this movie and watch it in her office while she did real estate agent stuff. It was nice. (also I always thought she was the same age as Tuck, but she’s like 13/14?!? so rewatching it now with that knowledge was a trip)

Honorable Mentions because I thought of them but either couldn’t find a gif or ran out of spots: Buddy (1997), Titanic (that double vcr tape masterpiece), the first Pokemon movie, and most of the Disney Channel Original Movies catalogue from the 90s and early 2000s

Tagging(if you want to do this): @margothedestroyerr​ @butcherofblackwater @annawoodhull @zeleniafic @bravelittleflower @xmelia-pxnd @randomfandoming1 @perfectlystiles @kenobi-jinn @avengiers

[mst3kproject]

Cat-Women of the Moon

That doesn’t sound like a real title, does it? It sounds like something somebody made up to make fun of dumb old science fiction movies, or at best like it should belong to a parody of such.  And yet, despite the snarky tone of its Wikipedia article (which reads like I could have written it), as far as I can tell Cat-Women of the Moon is totally in earnest.  It was produced by Al Zimbalist and scored by Elmer Bernstein, both of whom did the same jobs on Robot Monster.

A cartoon rocket blasts off for the moon, carrying – as per 50’s Movie Regulations – three or four lumpy middle-aged men and one pretty girl.  After a couple of the obligatory narrow escapes on the way, they manage to land successfully, and a mysterious cave leads them into an underground city where they are taken prisoner by telepathic cat-women!  The cat-women have trapped them by controlling the mind of Helen the navigator, and plan to steal the rocket ship and conquer the Earth.  Our manly heroes are immune to the mind control, but not to feminine wiles or the promise of caves full of gold.  The world’s only hope is that at least one of them can keep his head about him and save the day.

Cat-Women of the Moon is one of the movies that I suspect was considered for MST3K but ultimately rejected because it was too similar to another feature – in this case, to Fire Maidens of Outer Space. Besides having similarly ridiculous titles, both movies are about astronauts encountering the last survivors of an all-female advanced civilization, who want to use them as breeding stock. In both, the evil plan is undone when one of the alien women falls in love with one of the oafish Earthlings, and both contain a gratuitous dance sequence that does nothing but fill time.  Cat-Women of the Moon is actually slightly more interesting than Fire Maidens of Outer Space, mostly on account of an absolutely hilarious giant spider puppet, but it’s still two thirds over before we ever see a Cat-Woman.

It is impossible to overstate how cheap and shoddy this movie is.  There are moments when the sets almost fall apart as people move around on them – one astronaut almost knocks a piece of equipment over and just leaves it sitting there at an odd angle.  The rocket has roomy high ceilings and corrugated metal walls, with ham radio equipment sitting around on wooden tables and canvas space suits (with helmets that don’t match) stored in lockers that appear to have been stolen from a high school hallway.  The city of the Cat-Women appears to be made of bits and pieces stolen from five different Maciste movies, and a couple of those ‘Family Tree’ decorations you used to be able to buy at Hallmark.

And oh, man, that spider puppet.  My favourite thing is that it’s full-sized so that it can drop on Helen from above with all its totally limp limbs flailing.  I love it so much.  We never even find out what it’s doing there, either – it’s just a giant moon spider, because why the hell not?

About the only visual that works in the movie is the matte paintings, which are very nice, even when they don’t look very real. Some of the lunar landscapes are very realistic and the black and white photography adds to the verisimilitude.  Sadly, that’s about the only thing Cat-Women of the Moon gets right scientifically. There’s a weird moment where one guy uses a cigarette (yes, they brought cigarettes to the moon) to demonstrate… something.  Possibly the temperature difference between the day and night side of the moon.  When placed in the light, it bursts into flame, which is obviously impossible in a vacuum.  As if to drive the point home, not five minutes later they light a match (if you’re bringing cigarettes to the moon you obviously have to bring matches) to check if there’s oxygen!

The characters also note that there’s a difference in gravity between the surface of the moon, where they have to wear weighted boots, and the Cat-Women habitat.  But why would Lunar Cat-Women, who have supposedly lived on the Moon for two million years, want artificial Earth gravity?  What makes even less sense is that the Cat-Women, who have telepathic powers, resort to slap-fighting each other when they’re mad!  These women can teleport… surely if they want to kill somebody they can just make their heads explode by thinking at them too hard, no slapping or stabbing needed.

That brings us to the biggest and most obvious thing going on in this movie.  I’m sure you’ve guessed it by now – Cat-Women of the Moon absolutely despises women and it’s not even shy about it.

We’ve got Helen, who brushes her hair and does her makeup in orbit, and stands there screaming while the men beat the shit out of the giant spider with their fists.  She’s supposed to be a brilliant navigator but it turns out that was just the Cat-Women working through her.  The Cat-Women’s mind control powers work on women but not on men, and when Helen is in the arms of a man she truly loves, they lose control of her, too – as in The She-Creature, it is his male mine rather than her female one that is able to resist.

The man in question is of course not the Captain, who actually respects Helen, but the gun-toting jerk Kip.  There’s a bit where he manhandles her and tells her to stop complaining because “I’m not hurting you that much.”  The others aren’t much better, as one of them tells a Cat-Women, “you’re too smart for me, Baby – I like ‘em stupid.”  At least that guy dies.

The Cat-Women themselves are scheming bitches, except for sweet, innocent little Lambda, who decides to betray her entire civilization because she’s got a crush on Doug the radio operator.  This has been happening in stories since the Greek myth about Scylla, who betrayed her city after falling in love with the commander of an attacking army, and it’s been stupid for at least that long.  The men aren’t any better, either.  Kip and the Captain are fighting over Helen when the fate of the world is at stake.  When they manage to interrogate her while she’s not under Cat-Woman control, one of the first things they want to know is which of them she’s in love with!

The movie hates cats, too.  The inhabitants of the moon are Cat-Women not because they have tails and whiskers, but because they are cunning and underhanded, purring in your lap one moment and scratching your face off the next.  They say they want to be friends, but really they just want to use and discard you.

I guess stories like this represent men being afraid that women will realize they can do without them, and like Horrors of Spider-Island, it perhaps inadvertently implies that this is true. The Cat-Women were doing just fine at maintaining a peaceful civilization before these jerks from Earth showed up. Maybe we’re meant to think this is because the men can resist their telepathy – which is built on another nasty stereotype about women, the idea that they’re some kind of hive mind.  How many times have you heard somebody say ‘Women Think X’ or ‘Girls Like Y’, as if it’s genetic?  The Cat-Women, all in telepathic communication with each other, cannot help but agree about everything – and one she’s made contact with them, Helen becomes part of this collective mind whether she likes it or not.

Cat-Queen Alpha’s control over Helen is probably the most effective part of the story.  We know we can’t trust anything Helen says or even anything she thinks, and once the men realize this Alpha is able to use even their mistrust to her advantage.  Helen cannot even trust herself, as she observes when she realizes she should care if her crew-mates live or die, but does not. Not that it wouldn’t work way better if the cure for it weren’t twu wuv, but it’s a good idea as far as it goes.

Up to the last few minutes of the movie we’ve been building suspense, sometimes in fits and starts, but we do feel like something’s going to happen.  Alpha, Beta, and Helen have run off with the group’s space-suits, and the men are trying to catch up with them.  We’re expecting a fight for control of the rocket ship – and then Kip just pulls his gun and shoots Alpha and Beta off-screen, while Lambda dies tragically and Doug cradles her body.  It’s an anticlimax that just leaves the audience sitting there going, “that’s it?”  And yeah, the next thing that happens is the remaining guys and Helen get back on their rocket and head home, so that is it.

Cat-Women of the Moon is sort of lukewarm entertaining.  The shitty sets and stupid spider puppet are good for some laughs, but the movie’s sexual politics are obnoxious and its ending a huge disappointment.  I can’t recommend it to watch on its own, but it makes for good DIY riff material.  I’m sure Mike and the bots could have had great fun with it.

[laurenthelunatic]

bored. so random questions and stuff

Do you know if you were a planned child? Nope, I was definitely a late surprise because my mom was 43 & my dad was 48 What’s your favorite gems? Bismuth, Amethyst, & Obsidian As an adult, do you want to live in an apartment or a house? I currently live in a apartment, which I’m happy with. But I would like to move into a small house with a decent sized backyard eventually, it’s my goal to have enough saved for a down payment by age 30. Do you like the stem or leafy part of the broccoli? I love eating vegetables that are the shape of cartoon farts  What’s a song that reminds you of your special someone? I know you too well to like you anymore - reel big fish Do you believe in the phrase “if it’s meant to be, it’ll be”? Not really. if it’s meant to be, you’ll put in the extra effort to keep it! How long was your longest relationship? 7 years and counting First time you kissed the last person you kissed? I was 15, he was 17. it was totally extortion for him borrowing my ipod while we parted ways after walking home from school. lol Do you have to really know someone to kiss them? lol no, thank you alcohol for destroying my morals Were you anyone’s first kiss? apparently, thank god I didn’t take their virginity...we’re still friend’s though Will you keep your last name when you get married? No, but mine will most likely turn into a middle name for any future generations to keep it going...if my brother fails to ever have any kids What is your heritage? southern, irish, cajun, carolina mash up Have you ever seen anyone have a heart attack? yes, in a hot tub... Have you personalized your answering machine/voicemail? Yep What’s your favorite horror movie? evildead 2 or candyman Would you say you have a high sex drive or not so much? very high What’s one of your favorite memories with one or both of your parents? how my dad always managed to make studying or learning something new fun by adding in a lot of inside jokes and potty humor.  Something you feared as a kid but don’t fear anymore? ventriloquist dummies What is your opinion on girls who become obsessed with their boyfriends? pretty typical for teenagers when they lack other hobbies, but for adults that’s kind of weird. When was the last time you got mad and broke something? preston’s cartilage in his nose, after I accidentally head butted him too hard in a silly fight Favorite nonliving muscian? johnny cash Favorite album? far too many to name. What color dress did you wear to prom? I didn’t want to go to prom, because the guy I was dating at the time was too old and locked up. lol Ever had an ultra-sound performed on you? What was it for? yup. for being stupid, 16, and pregnant.  How many people of the opposite sex do you fully trust? 3 Do you still have your tonsils? yes Do you think making out is slutty? hell no. now sucking dick without kissing first is slutty. lol Will you be in a relationship in the next couple months? most likely Do you cry easily? not really. Last time you cried while you were on the phone with someone? 2 weeks ago when I found out my nephew had spontaneously passed away Are you excited for anything? to get back to finishing my welding certifications in 2 weeks

Where was your profile picture taken? in my moms backyard Have you ever been cheated on? yep.

Who did you last ride in a car with? preston How many tattoos do you have? 7 When was the last time you watched a horror movie? the other night Do you have any drugs in your room? just pot Do you take walks often? no, I’d rather ride my bike What was the last thing you drank? water Have you ever broken anyone’s heart? yes, it’s a very shitty feeling. don’t ever fall in love with a junkie Do you think you can last in a relationship for six months? easily. Do you prefer dark or light hair on the opposite sex? dark. Have you ever had a stalker? yup, we live together now Do you correct people when they make spelling mistakes on the internet? yes! you loose major attractive points if you don’t know how to spell Do you think more about the past, present, or future? present and future. When was the last time you spoke to your brother? a couple hours ago Are any of your friends virgins? lol yes and they’re over 30...I really want to buy them a prostitute for a couple hours Have you ever cleaned up someone else’s vomit? yes, ugh Have you spoken to your father today? in my dreams :( Could you forgive your best friend for sleeping with your bf/gf? of course, sharing is caring. lol what’s your blood type? type O negative Would you rather drink coffee or tea? coff fee fee. Can you recall the last time you liked someone a lot? I’m always fantasizing about someone, it might be you.