#yoongi mafia

[explicit-tae]

Carnal Desire (1/3)

The last person you expected to see was an ‘old friend’ from nearly a decade ago, but you’re determined to show the man that you’re no longer the little girl he use to know. @bloodline1632 @seokjinkismet @babycandy111

Word Count: 2.070

Warning: smut, stripper reader, mafia/gangster yoongi, haegeum type vibes fr fr, grinding, finger sucking, the reader is down bad, but so is yoongi, kissing, sucking,

“You’ll do amazing, really!” Bunny - your co-worker - says as she pats the highlighter upon your cheekbones. “You’re already on your way to becoming a favorite.”

You take a deep breath and nod.

“Please stay focused. We have very important people tonight.”

And there it was, your nerves kicking back in once more.

You only been here for a week - the high end strip club is more than you imagined. You often thought it would be littered with creeps and smelt of cheap booze and cigarettes - but maybe you just chose the right one. 

Your name is being called now and from behind the curtains, you notice the lights dim, and the red spotlight appears. You clicked your heels, rounding the curtain and made your way towards the middle of the stage. It’s amazing how you were able to turn your nerves off when needed be - you were highly grateful that you didn’t need any liquid courage to do so.

Bunny was correct when she said it would be a busy night - and the important people she spoke of had to be front and center. You sway your hips to the pole, hooking a leg around it and swinging as you do - a routine you practiced for the past two days.

You often don’t look into the crowd while performing - you were a natural overthinker and the last thing you needed was to mess up in front of a group of men. However, this was different. You had important people here tonight and your boss informed each dancer tonight to “appear” available and interested.

You regret taking her advice.

You drop to your knees slow and sultry, crawling towards the edge of the stage. Smoking typically wasn't allowed, but important guests always got their way. Your eyes focus on the man smoking and you froze.

Those eyes - such cold and feline-like eyes. They flash in your mind and you were brought back to your childhood; specifically your teenage years. As the smoke clears, as does your vision on the man - pale, porcelain-like skin, hard eyes and a low smirk on his lips.

Yoongi.

Min Yoongi was before you. He was the important guest tonight - he looked it. Even in the sea of people, you can smell the expensive cologne mixed with the nicotine smell. He appeared clean shaven and had not aged since you last saw him a decade prior.

Yoongi brings the cigarette back into his lips, his fingers curling as he does so. Your eyes glance to his hands, large and veiny and full of shining diamonds. 

Your eyes begin to grow dry and you blink. You finally inhale to not have your head go any more lightheaded than necessary. 

You hear a hiss of your name and your body immediately reacts. You begin to crawl once more, your eyes on nobody but Yoongi now. He furrows a brow and appears amused and curious.

Min Yoongi was before you.

Your Min Yoongi.

The same Min Yoongi that your father despised - called him a thug and everything but a decent human being. Father’s never approved of their little girls being hooked on an older man - but he was only two years older; if that. The same Min Yoongi who you had once admitted to loving during too many drinks and even when you insisted on showing him you weren’t a little girl, he never took advantage of your advances.

Min Yoongi was before you now - and you weren’t a teenager anymore. You were a woman that grew into her curves and appearance, and you were determined to show him just that.

It’s crazy to think that just one look at him made you feel as you did as a teenager - shy, but willing, giddy and wanting to prove yourself to him.

Yoongi leans closer to the stage just as you lean forward. Your manicured hand grasps his large ones and grasps the cigarette. You were never a smoker - he knows this. But he only smirks as you take a puff of it and blow it at him.

Your time was up, but your eyes linger onto Yoongi’s longer as you exit the stage. You feel it all fall on you at once - the nerves and nausea. Yoongi was here. He had seen you like this - what was he thinking? Has he remembered you? 

“What was that?” Bunny heels slam against the floor as she rushes to you. “Do you know who that is?”

Yes. “No.”

Bunny’s eyes widened. “You don’t know who Suga is?”

Suga. Yoongi must have made another name for himself. He was once someone your father considered bad news and you can only guess what he was into back then - but Yoongi is a man now. He surrounded himself with men, him directly in the middle. He was an important member of whatever society he ran with; you didn’t really care much to ask.

“I was told to entertain the guests.” you shrug your shoulders. “Suga seems to be a very important person.”

Bunny nods with wide eyes. “Extremely. He dabbles in organized crime and is one of our biggest spenders here. You-”

“Y/N.”

You freeze, as does Bunny. 

“I’m dead.” you murmur to Bunny who slowly nods.

Your boss’ eyes are upon you when you turn. Her arms are crossed as she motions you to follow her. 

“I-I didn’t mean-”

“You aren’t in trouble.” your boss murmurs as you saunter towards her. “Seems like your little stunt caught Suga’s eye. He never pays for a dance.”

Yoongi did remember you.

Your heart races as your boss points to the back rooms, the further room in the back. The only room without a camera.

You look yourself over in the mirror. Your hair appeared to be in place still, as did your makeup. Your lingerie hugs you nicely and your heels were just an added bonus. 

It grows hotter and quieter as you make your way down the hall to the back room - a V.I.P section. You slide the door open and make your way in. Yoongi is seated upon the round, leather section. The room is surrounded with mirrors and low lights. On the table forward him is a large bottle of champagne - the most expensive there was at the club - and two glasses.

“Sit.” Yoongi says as you close the door behind you. He goes to pour both glasses of champagne, handing you one as you round the table.

“Thank you.” you murmur. It takes everything in you not to melt - but you are grown now and no longer the shy teenage girl.

You sit on his lap, legs swinging to trap him between your thighs. Your eyes meet his as you drink the champagne.

Yoongi’s pink tongue coats his lips as he leans back into the couch. He doesn’t go to move you from your laps, and even if you did, you wouldn’t leave without a fight. After all, he paid for your services - private dances weren’t cheap and especially not in the V.I.P backroom.

You discard your glass beside you without a care, licking your own lips.

“Y/N…Y/N…”

Your arms are fresh with goosebumps when you hear his voice say your name. He down the champagne, free hand rubbing against your thigh to your waist. 

“How much you’ve grown since the last time I saw you.” Yoongi finally says as he finishes the champagne, discarding his own glass to the side.

“I can say the same for you…” you begin to roll your hips. “...Suga.” All the girls are informed to not be so close to a client. They paid for a certain amount of time - and in that time you were told to stall, only sitting upon them at the last few minutes of the dance.

Yoongi’s hands are as large as you know them to be, both now cupping your waist. 

“How is it that when my name comes from your lips it sounds sweeter than ever before?”

Yoongi’s eyes rack over your figure.

You were no longer the little girl who followed him around against her father’s wishes. No, you were now a woman - a full grown woman who grew into her chest and hips. He recalls the amount of times he (against your own knowledge) would have to assure no creep used your naivety to their advantage.

Yoongi’s girl is what they called you - even back then. No matter how much he told anyone that you were nothing but a close friend to him; someone he would protect because he had a heart.

“Where have you been?” Yoongi allows his curiosity to get the best of him. He was no fool in knowing the pure hatred your father had for him - even if Yoongi never took advantage of your feelings for him. When you were old enough to consider making your own decision, you were shipped far away from Daegu - and that was ten years ago.

You continued your lap dance, your hands placing themselves on his shoulders. Yoongi is but a man and his eyes rack your figure in the tight lingerie, large hands rubbing up your side with a lick of his lips once more.

“My dad sent me to live with my aunt and continue school there.” you respond. “I came back when he got sick.”

Yoongi furrows a brow. Your father was sick. He hasn’t seen the man since he last saw you.

“Dropped out of school to take care of him. Now I’m here.” you roll your hips against the bulge forming in his pants. “With you.”

Yoongi feels your hands rub from his shoulders to his torso.

“What about you, Suga? You seem to have made a name for yourself.”

Yoongi was being far too modest for your liking. You grasp his hands in yours, eyes staring right into his. You allow his hands to roam your body, setting them right onto your breasts.

“I have.” Yoongi murmurs, voice deeper. “I own this city now, baby.”

You swallow at the pet name, leaning closer. You want to capture his lips with your own - they were so rosy and soft. 

“I bet you do.” you murmur, warm breath against his lips. “Does someone run it with you?”

Yoongi tilts his head. He gives you a snicker. “You still got that crush, huh?” he teases. He squeezes your breast lightly before his right hand cups your check.

You grow hot at his words, swallowing thickly. You wouldn’t allow him to treat you like the same little girl you once were. You were an adult - you were in control of your own desires. 

“It’s more than a crush now. I’m not a little girl.”

Yoongi knows this - he wants to tell you just how much you’ve grown since the last time he saw you. 

“I can show you how much it’s grown.” 

Yoongi can’t take his eyes from you. Your tongue peeks out and wraps around his thumb. You suck on it, eyes boring into his own. His cock twitches at the sultry act.

“Y/N…”

You moved fast. From sucking onto his thumb to your lips upon his. Your thighs clenched him beneath you tightly, never wanting to let go. 

Yoongi loses himself in your touch, arms wrapping around your bare body, touching skin he never knew he would ever long to touch. 

Your tongue dances with him, his hands cupping your ass, guiding you to continue to grind against his bulge.

“I want you, Yoongi.” you murmur against his lips. 

“I know, baby.” Yoongi grunts. “I know…”

Your teeth clasps down onto his bottom lips, fingernails digging into his shoulders. “Then take me.”

Yoongi shudders, holding onto you even tighter.

“You can have me. All of me.”

Yoongi shakes his head, breathing quickening. Your words ring in his ears non-stop.

“I want to be your girl.” you continue - you refused to hear anything other than approval. “You can have all of me right now and forever.”

Yoongi lips are against the skin of your neck, placing open-mouthed kisses. Your words are getting to him, his cock begging to take you.

But you weren’t a common whore - not just some pussy to wet his cock. You were someone he cared for deeply.

“You are my girl.”

Your lips meet his once more and your heart feels satisfied - it’s the same words you wanted to hear for years now.

Part 2 | Part 3

[sugarwithtea]

bounty (m) | myg [teaser]

bounty (noun) : a sum paid for killing or capturing a person. if there was one person who annoyed you the most, it was min yoongi. but what happens when he calls you after escaping someone hired to end him? a dance, which ends in a surprising way.

pairing ; gang leader!yoongi x thug!reader (f)

rating/genre ; m (18+)//smut, angst (minor), enemies to ???

wc ; for the teaser - 470 // for the fic - 4k+

warnings for the teaser ; guns, swearing. for the fic ; explicit smut in public, knives, mentions of death, gore, murder (main characters) and many more!

note ; tread with caution ⚠️ the teaser is mild but the fic won't be (it will be very dark!) also, happy d-day dropping everyone hehe!! thanks to @cowboylikeyoongi for helping me with smth very major!!!! please let me know if you wanna join the taglist for this!

masterlist | taglist

You stand straighter, putting your hands on your waist and chewing the end of the cigarette in your mouth. You survey the area with squinted eyes, pushing your thin jacket behind to reveal your black tee and the gun, with which your finger toys.

You had heard of this place, and how there was a big bounty on the leader of the gang who ran the place. They were dogs, fiercer than wolves, but still fucking cowards. Your boss had asked you to stay clear of the massacre, something about leaving the lowly on his own. And you obeyed, for Min Yoongi was a man who riled you up so much, that anger always lived on your nose – and the tip of your tongue.

The way you were called into the yard, you assume whoever tried to get the meaningless bounty had failed. You shake your shoulders in amusement, and take another drag from your cigarette, kicking the dust at your feet. One more minute, and if he doesn't show up you are getting the fuck out of here.

It's as if the universe heard your thought and plotted against you returning because as soon as you turn back towards the raging fire, a hand wraps itself around your neck and pulls you behind. You let out a loud snort of amusement around the cigarette as you are pulled into a hard chest, his arm around your neck and breath on top of your ear. You quickly pull your cigarette out with one of your hands and exhale, letting the smoke fog you.

As soon as you register his breath, a hard thing pokes you on the base of your throat, and you look down to see the muzzle of his gun at your throat, pressing into your skin. His arm is right above it, and you see the way his fingers wrap around the trigger guard, away from the actual trigger. You scoff at it – still a coward.

He pushes the muzzle deeper into your skin, and you feel his chest going up and down, as his hand around your neck brings you so near him, that you feel him mold against you. You arch an eyebrow and tilt your head, a laugh leaving your lips.

"Hello to you too, Yoongi.'' He hated it when you, or anyone called him Yoongi, so you did just that. He doesn't want to be related to his family, or have a semblance of their relationship with him. And there was one thing that could erase it – his name. So he changed it to Agust D.

"You came?" His voice is gruff against your ear, and you don't miss how deep it is, just like the ocean. You take a deep breath and exhale, before speaking again with a delayed snort.

"You called?"

if you wanna join the taglist for this specific fic then lmk via comments :)) (permanent taglist peeps will be tagged in the reblogs for this one hehe 😉)

feedback of any kind is greatly appreciated! so please lmk your thoughts :))

© sugarwithtea. do not repost.

[kittyscupcakeandbunny]

SET ME FREE x MIN YOONGI

[MAFIA AU]

PART FOUR

Welcome to my world

Side Characters: Kim Namjoon/detective, Jeon Jungkook/detective, Jung Hoseok/consigliere/mafia member, Park Jimin/rubber/mafia member, Kim Taehyung, Kim Seokjin/FBI.

Warnings: extreme violence and use of curse words, Smut, mentions of blood, death, robbery, killing, guns, torturing, fire, porn (a lot of it), toxic yandere men, crime, violence, possessive behaviour, unhealthy relationships, gore, stalking, sharp objects, illicit drugs, alcohol.

SUMMARY: You made it. Now a police intern as you always promised to your father before he died, you were more than happy to finally be able to help people like he did. But the law was not what you expected to be like. You did not know how lonely it would be for a young woman to grow her career in this kingdom. Having to take care of your 18 year old brother wasn't easy too and things just got a lot worse when you've met Agust D. The king of the mafia Min. He sure knew how to make a life turn into a hell hole.

WARNINGS: MENTIONS OF TORTURE AND EXTREME VIOLENCE (at the end of the chapter), READ AT YOUR OWN RISK. It will be signaled with “ +++” once it starts and ends in case you want to skip it.

<< Before

————————————————————————

Bang.

Bang.

The men fall on the ground, hand over his shoulder covering where i shot him.

I put the gun down still holding into it hard, the smell of gunpowder in the air around me I couldn’t move a single feet away from it as I watched the men on the ground, he was one of Namjoon colleagues I remember seeing his face a couple of times on his office the men probably knew who I was soon he’ll tell Namjoon about my betrayal and soon everyone at the stink will know what I did. The surprise to see me there on his face when I shot him was still there, between painful groans as he kneeled down he couldn’t believe his eyes and neither could I believe. I was tired of running away from everything, I’ll clean my name once I get Yoongi behind the bars for now I don’t mind letting the flames burn me. I know who I am.

The cold air felt painful in my lounges as I took deep breathes, still not believing what I did. He wasn’t the one I should be shooting but right now it was between me and Yoongi and if I have to get my hands dirty to save my family I will, I’ll never back down from it anymore. This is the person I’ll have to be I survive so I’ll embrace. I’ll dance with the devil if I must, I’ll let him play the song he wants and when the right time comes I’ll put him down to his knees.

I could see the reaction on his eyes as he stood there in front of me the smirk on his lips falling as his eyes looked into mine. I could guess he thought Jack was the one behind the shooting it was clear on his face how unexpected my actions were to him. We both stood there not believing what I did but, here we are now. The devil smiles to me.

He walked to me eyes not leaving mine, i only realized my hands were shaking when his own held them to take the gun out of me. I don’t dare to say a word and neither does he, the sound of the fire burning a head of us being the only thing we could hear I watched it as it was the only source of light between us and the men I shot. My mind was blank completely empty I couldn’t think of an escape to this for now, what can I even do for now to fix this? What will Yoongi do to me now, was all I thought about as I stared back into his eyes he looked behind me and nodded to Jack a look I couldn’t decipher, a language of their own. Not saying a word he took my arm in his hand and turning me to leave but I stop in my tracks instantly swallowing hard as he looked down at me still holding my arm, we are just gonna leave the men like that he already knows me anyways why would Yoongi take me with him now? I was still in shock at my own actions, crossed so many lines already what could he possibly still want from me now? Mouth opening but closing words nowhere to be found, completely lost in his eyes that burned over my own the flames behind me reflecting on his orbs as if I was staring inside hell itself, the devil only smiled to me. The hand around my arm closed over my waist now holding me against him he took me back to the car, I saw Jack making his way around the black car already getting back inside.

Yoongi opened the door letting me get in first as he sat beside me, I stared back at the men on the ground as Jack stared the car marking a turn to leave. Yoongis presence beside was the only thing keeping me from looking behind, the silence inside the car was so loud I could barely breath the calmness in the air after Jack began to drive the car out of there was making my skin burn, looking over the window as the view changed from a construction site to more and more nature the moon shined bright over us no clouds present in the sky the summer heat was still rising even at night time.

Red lights shining for far away we drove past a few police cars going where we left. Heart immediately beating faster as I looked behind at them, Namjoon must be in one of them he must know by now that his plan have failed and soon we’ll find out why his plan he worked on for so long didn’t work out. I looked down at my hands on my lap, what has my life turned into at this point I didn’t know. I just knew I wasn’t myself anymore, I could feel it deep inside me like the flick of a switch had turned on my head.

In my thoughts two words seemed to repeat like a song, keep going. When I drove here with them I keep saying it, when Jack first threatened me I say it, when I went to downtown for the first time I say it. Now it only seemed like a curse, for how long do I have to keep up with this? I almost killed someone tonight. When will it be enough?

Regret was a small words but it held so much weight over me now, if only I had stopped this stupid investigation when Yoongi warned me about but I was greedy something about him kept alluring me towards him like a damn magnet. He was a criminal I must take him down that’s why I fallowed him, that’s why I went to hell to get him, I told myself that everyday but the days went by where I kept thinking that and the further away from my own lies I went. For my brother I would shot someone, I thought that I would for sure. I looked beside me Yoongi seemed focused on the road a head of him, the thought of him getting hurt in front of me sensed chills down my spine as much as I didn’t wanted, as much as I forced myself into it I couldn’t stop this feeling from creeping out of me anymore.

What in the fuck am I doing right now?

I turned back to my window seeing the big extravagant gates the car stopped before they opened completely for it to enter I notice my motorbike was still parked there were I left, I thought at this point Jack would come out and opened the door for me to leave and let me make my own way from here but the car didn’t stop for me to leave and he only drove further inside the building behind the gates.

He drove slowly towards a large, luxurious mansion stopping in front of the parking area of it. There were security guards at every corner of the mansion heavily armed. If it wasn’t today I would be impressed by it but tonight wasn’t one I would look at it proud, I don’t think I ever will. Beside me Yoongi opened the door to leave taking my wrist in his hand as he did so, I looked back at the car seeing Jack didn’t move at all. So he wasn’t coming.

Fallowing Yoongi towards the entrance of the mansion I heard Jack drive off, heart racing at the thought of going inside alone. I knew he wasn’t the best to be around but something about being just me with Yoongi tonight felt different, my mind was racing with thoughts I couldn’t help but go over every possibility or any scenario that was going to happened. Was he going to kill me? Lock me up in his basement? Would he use me to hide his tracks? As much as I thought it didn’t make any sense for him to dirty his own hands with me and not let Jack end the job, what else could I expect from him? He wouldn’t save me this time. I fuck up for every one by shooting that detective.

The doors where opened by his security men, he never let go of my wrist as we entered the extravagant and luxurious mansion. The place was spectacular every detail spilled the most high quality classy design and materials I’ve ever seen, stone statues guarded the entrance on the outside and inside the floor was a shiny black marble with golden details, the entrance was large and had two extensive stairs on each sides of the wall that connected to the second floor, in the middle was a statuette of a woman cover in red roses as water fall on her body down a small fountain underneath it the large windows were covered by a deep dark purple curtain.

As we walked up the stair many times i wanted to ask him, but my mouth didn’t move I couldn’t find my voice. Mind still running the engines but no action, deep down I was afraid to just be right. He took me to a corridor then turned to an opened meeting room, I heard water falling as we entered the specious room and my eyes turned to see a an entire glass wall with water falling on it completely amazed by it, I felt him let go of my wrist making his way to the bar on the left side of the room not knowing what to do I only stood there as he filled two cups with what I could guess was whiskey.

Something felt different as soon as we stepped inside this room, it felt odd how he looked so calm the entire time moving around like nothing happened. Sure to someone like him this was just like any other Tuesday, he must’ve seen and done much worst things in this life time for a shotgun to impress him. The fact that he looked so intense but calm was driving me insane, I could tell he had something under his finger something to use against me but didn’t know what. He turned towards me handing me the second cup with alcohol, the scent was strong as soon as I brought it up to my face I felt my insides burning. Not looking up to him only the dark marble floor under me as I gulped down the bitter liquid, I could feel his eyes burning over my figure as he just stood there not saying anything.

Not knowing what else to do, I gulped down all the content in my cup. The strong taste of alcohol making me regret it immediately, as I force myself to swallow it noticing my reaction seemed to amaze Yoongi as he smirked at me drink the thing as if it was just water and not gasoline. Surely he didn’t brought me here for a drink, not after what happened tonight. It looked like he was supposed to meet someone else there but, Namjoon got that guy before and played a trap to get him.

- why… did you brought me here, I’m sure it wasn’t for a simple chitchat? - i asked him, not looking at him but at the now empty cup in my hands my thumbs sliding over the glass my throat still burned from the bitter taste.

- Humm… I thought you knew that already - he said, even his voice sounded much deeper this time - that’s why you’re here, or should I have left you there?

He took one step closer, I could see his black shiny shoes as I still didn’t dare to look up at him. I couldn’t face him not knowing what he was thinking, what he wanted from me.

- I thought Scarlet told you after you handed me so nicely her card - he said amusement dripping from every word he said.

The mention of the card brought the memories from the night I first went to Paradise, Scarlet must be the red head woman I meet that night who lended me the poker red queen card from Paradise but just what did that had to do with me? Not long after that night he came back to the station sliding the king of spades on my pocket. Since then I couldn’t ask him directly what it meant.

- well she didn’t, so what does it means? - I looked up as I asked him regretting it immediately as he looked me up and down - do explain… Agust D.

I pressed the last sentence, the name rolled down so naturally out of my lips it fitted him perfectly. That’s who he was after all. He only chuckled drinking the rest of the brown liquid on his cup putting it down over the coffee table on the center of the room making his way towards me he closed completely the distance between us. In a second his hands were closed around my neck as he pushed my body against him, I gasped letting the cup fall from my hands as it then shatter against the floor.

- who am I? - he growled against my lips, his eyes burning over mine.

- You’re… Agust d - I stated breathless, feeling heavy and completely out of breath he chuckled and I felt the on his breath whiskey hitting my face.

My entire body burned as he left my neck to grab my jaw his own body completely glued to mine as he pushed me against the wall, holding me to look at him bodies burning over each other’s, my mind was fuzzy all I could hear was the beating of my heart on my chest as I held my breath feeling a sharp cold tip of what i could only guess was a knife against my ribs. Body going alert now, eyes looked on his burning ones I couldn’t say a single word complete petrified under him. I knew he wouldn’t bring me here for a drink, I did all he enacted me to do now what else could he need from me? I was just another pawn under him.

I shouldn’t have said his name, I should have lay low and ignore that or at least lie about it until I could leave. He kept his identity a mystery all this time, now that I know him he’ll kill me to protect himself.

This could be my chance to escape, I could fight him if only my body didn’t felt so heavy and my mind so fuzzy. All I could feel was his heavy breathing against my face and the strong scent of alcohol mixed with his intense woody cologne I knew very well from the moment I saw him at my station, the more I looked into his eyes the more my body seemed to give in.

This isn’t me. Something must be wrong with me. I would never let him corner me like this not after just one cup of whiskey at least, unless he did brought me here for drink just to take me out quietly.

- what did you put in my cup?! - I spat, accusing him. He just chuckled chest moving up and down as he took one deep breath before holding my chin tighter.

- why? Feeling a bit overwhelmed? - he murmured over my lips, my heart racing completely losing my breath as I swallowed hard.

- you did - I stated helplessly, eyes felling heavier.

- you think I would need that? - he smirked.

I felt the cold point of the knife move up on my side then down on my hip he teased the sharp knife against me, hand pushing my hair away from my face leaving my neck visible to him as he held the knife against it. I gasped feeling it burn over my skin looking away from him, hearing the deep chuckle coming from his chest.

- this…. - he murmured over my ear, leaving my chin to put his hand over the wall beside my face his hot breath over my skin sending chills down my hot body - is all you.

I turned back to look at him, he had a knowing smirk on his lips. He couldn’t be serious here no way in hell I’d be this work up over him he must’ve done something I’m sure this isn’t natural at all, how could I feel this way when he’s clearly threatening my life right now? This burning feeling running over my skin can’t be just an attraction, I refuse to believe it even now with my eyes unconsciously focusing over his lips heat flowing all over my body as I felt him push my body against the wall, his body completely covering mine.

- you’re lying… - i breathlessly said, nervous and turned on at the same time - why I’m here? You said you don’t hurt woman.

He only chuckled, his breath dancing against my skin as well as the knife he held against me. He purposely pressed his thigh between my legs separating them as the sharp tip of the knife slides down my neck between my chest stoping at my belly. He held my chin forcing me to look at him, something burned in his eyes.

- why? - he whispered against my lips - because, you’re mine now.

His lips brushing over my neck, the sharp knife dancing over my body side to side over my belly completely taking my breath away from my lunges.

- and you didn’t even know what you were getting into - he laughed, chest vibrating as he chuckled - yet you brought the card to the owner of her, didn’t you know? That’s how you become a pet at Paradise?

What?

I’m sure I asked him. My mind felt so over the clouds I could barely tell if I did say it or not right now, I was completely lost on him to understand anything about what he was saying. I couldn’t say anything else, mind completely collapsing once he cuts open my shirt hand holding my chin up kissing me so harshly and deliciously my body was giving in instantly, I couldn’t hold myself anymore moaning against his lips feeling him bite into my bottom lip hard enough to draw blood out of it. He groans sticking the knife into the wall right beside my head, any time that would scare me to death but now it only makes me grab into him harder feeling his hands sliding down my back slowly with his short nails carving my skin through my shirt stopping at my butt, he gabs me hard before sliding them to my thighs holding me up against the wall.

Separating our lips only to growl over my ear.

- I’ll fuck you till you can’t walk tonight - he said against my neck - don’t you dare tell me to stop.

Shit.

His lips moved from my ear to my neck, leaving harsh bites painfully marking my skin then soothing it with wet kisses over it down to my chest. I closed my arms around his neck holding him closer sliding my hands over his shoulders to grab a hold of his hair, feeling the vibration of his moan against my lips locking into a deep kiss tongue dancing against mine sending waves of pleasure through my whole body as he kept running his hands over my back now sliding them under my shirt he tore opened, i cling over him as he held me up instantly pushing us away from the wall walking around the room never once did his lips left mine even when I felt him lower me down against the soft fabric of the black sofa.

Still over me he stops, forehead against mine as he moves his fingers from my hips stopping at my bellybutton then sliding down to open my jeans taking them off of me ever so slowly, sharp eyes locked over mine the entire time our unsteady breathes intertwining. All i could do was watch him move above me completely hypnotized by his every move.

He sits on his knees in front of me, eyes running over my entire body as he pushes his hair back. Tounge running over his bottom lip, he takes of his black blazer throwing it on the floor, then his tie slowly button it down his white shirt.

- look at you… - he murmured, opening the last bottom. - all hungry for me…

He leaned himself over me again, hand cupping my check as his thumb slides over my botttom lip. I can only stare amazed into his brown orbs, body shivering from desire craving his touch so bad it hurts completely burning every cell on my skin. Not wasting any time as his lips capture mine between his own lips, hands dancing over each others body scratching and gripping harder each second as we bth completely lose ourselves on the burning desire that grows hotter between our bodies

Gripping into his hair as he lowers his body fully against mine, i shiver at the feeling of his skin burning against mine mind losing any last bit of sanity i had left. He slides on arm underneath my waist pulling me closer making me arch my back up, another hand holding the nape of my neck tightly as he slowly grinds his hips against mine. A moan into his wet lips feeling how hard he is over me, completely out of breath already as he holds me tighter every time he moves against me chasing his own pleasure.

His lips leaving mine to plant kisses over my chest as he ruts into me, his voice vibrates through my skin as he groans against me completely drunk in his pleasure. Teeth sinking into my skin as he held into me harder, my whole body burns in the ecstatic feeling of his hands sliding over my skin as he made a path with his lips from my chest to my neck leaving a long lick there before he grabs my hips up against his crotch terribly slowly. Pressing his hard cock over my sweet spot as he leaned back, hands still glued to my hips i watched as he sat between my legs bitting into his own bottom lip eyes closed as he enjoyed hi own pleasure with the most pleasant expression ever as if he could ecstasy from the feeling at any moment. He looked like a sex god above me, how his muscles stiffen every time he grinned on me harsh breathes leaving his lips each time.

I could feel the wetness between my leg sliding down my ass already, feeling needier the more the teased above me completely drunk own the pleasure. I watched as he slowly began to undo the bottom of his pants sliding so fucking slowly the zipper down, eyes locked with mine as a smirk formed on his lips. I could bearly held myself from complete collapsing into his madness the more i waited for him, sitting up i grabbed him by his pants pulling his lips back to mine as he groaned on my mouth holding the waist line of his pants i began to punch them down until they stop at his knees. Bitting into my bottom lip he stops the kiss eyes burning over mine as i take the chance to feel his skin sliding my hands up from his knees till his hips, swallowing his breaths against my lips feeling beyond into him.

Lips brushing into mine as he held my neck pushing me back against the sofa hovering above me using his knees to spread me opened for him, he slides his left hand down between us and i feel like gasoline being set on fire as he slowly slides his head between my lower lips over my clit a moan escaping my lips at the delicious stimulation, his own eyes closing as breathy moans leave his lips. Bucking my hips up against his as a wave of pleasure hit me right through, with a groan he completely slides his dick inside me.

Feeling overwhelmed by the delicious feel of him filling me up so fucking good I immediately close my arms around his neck, with one hand he supports himself up above me as the other one keeps me still by the neck. Eyes burning into mine one last time before he takes my lips harshly between his, that scar never looked so good on him before then it does now with pleasure filling every little bit of his brain. Seat beginning to drip from his forehead over mine, my moans being entirely swallowed by his hungry mouth as he began to move his hips against mine slowly but hard.

Feeling myself pulse around him as the waves of pleasurable stimulation fills every cell on my body, lips leaving his to beg for more against his mouth louder each time as the pleasure becomes almost beyond control turning ourselves into two animals starved for each others touch.

More. I moaned against him. More.

Fingers gripping at the nape of his neck, grabbing his hair feeling almost desperate for his touch even the smallest amount was enough to send me into over drive, the wet sounds between our legs getting louder as he starts moving faster. Sweat covering our bodies like second skin, holding tighter each other as the pleasure becomes more and more intense. His hands brushing deliciously against my sides, stretching every inch of skin with his short nails to stop at my hips were he grabbed harshly my own hands holding into him just as hard as i felt my own orgasm, slowly creeping up between our bodies.

More.

I begged and he gave me all i wanted. Until i feel the overwhelming sensation of pleasure fills every muscle of my body completely going into ecstasy as his movements slowly stops, feeling all my wetness drip down my legs.

I went so high i bearly could make any word he speak afterwards, feeling even more aroused at the sound of his raspy deep voice above me send me into another dimension.

- turn around and get on your knees, I didn’t come yet.

Shit.

He did told me he wouldn’t stop.

I tried my best to move between the highs of pleasure still dancing over my sweaty body, slowly turning around on the sofa as i got on all fours in front of him. I felt so high on pleasure, completely drunk on it i could bearly made out when he grabbed my hips holding myself up into a sitting position, back glued against his naked chest i gasped at the feeling shivers sliding down into an electric wave of stimulation.

His heavy breathes hitting the back of my neck as he teasingly begins to brush his finger over my sides, leaving wet kisses on my shoulder as his short nails left marks above my ribs down to my waist stoping at my hips as he pulls me more into him opening my legs more. I could hear him pumping himself against me as low moans left his lips over my skin, one hand sliding up over my body grabbing my chest a moan leaving my own lips as he the pleasure of his touches kept sending hot waves of ecstasy between my legs. Wetness sliding down my parted legs soon being filled again by his hard cock, a groan immediately leaving my lips as my body shoot up in pleasure being held back down agains Yoongi once i ease down his length feeling his hands wrap around my body as he begins to pound into me again, lips immediately searching for my neck.

The overwhelming pleasure filling my cunt making whimpers and moans vibrate through my throat, as the warmth swells over my entire body again. Grinding down against him at an increased speed, feeling he hit deep within my soaking walls grabbing into his thighs behind me carving my nails on his skin as he peak the pace even more pounding harder and faster into me, desperate moans filling the room intertwined with his deep groans. The sensation of his fingers moving slowly up and down over my clit only adds to the pleasure of the increased speed, his groans getting louder the harder he pounded into me aggressively moving his hips against me causing me to lean even more over his chest from the sensation becoming far too overwhelmed.

The heat builds in between my tights immediately tensing around him, nails digging harder into his skin.

- tel me how good it feels - He groaned over my ear, a deep chuckle coming from his lips.

I feel my head up in the clouds, bearly able to make a single sentence head spinning in confusion as he kept moving his fingers between my slick cunt.

- say it.

Body completely giving into his becoming to weak from his pleasure, feeling another chuckle vibrating through his chest against my back. His hands sliding over my body to grab my chest as he continued o pound into my wet walls, feeling them tense more and more around him. The burning feeling growing desperately each second spreading all over my body once again, i held into his hands over my chest for support as i felt another orgasm building up between my legs.

- Yoongi… - his name slips deliciously from my lips - so good, so good…

I can’t bearly recognize my own voice full of desperation and pleasure, fallowed by moans and whimpers of his name. Holding tightly into him as the pleasure builds up hotter and hotter from his length buried between my thighs deep inside me, finally letting myself go feeling the intense warmth fills my entire body again reaching another high almost falling into the sofa but being held by Yoongis arms immediately, he lazily chuckles behind me over my tired body.

Body steal pulsing with pleasure as i let him hold into me thrusting sloppily into me as he rides his own orgasm, feeling his wetness filling me up completely till he drips between our legs increasing deliciously my own pleasure.

By the time he pulls away, my whole body is trembling. Feeling him carefully lay me down against the soft sofa, my breathing slowly beginning to slower down still too high up in the clouds to move away. Knees feeling sore underneath slowly resting.

An intense feeling of tiredness filling my trembling body, the last thing i felt was the ghost of Yoongis lips over my back as he traced my spine carefully up and down until a fall deeply into a slumber.

[…]

The bright light hitting my face as I became more and more conscious slowly waking up from my sleep, head feeling heavy from sleeping in a bad position I groaned feeling a sharp pain shot behind my neck, time should be the last thing I worry about at least for now but I can’t help thinking about it as I lift my upper body up stretching myself up. I massage my neck trying to release some of the pain, still a bit out of it from just waking up I try my best to fix my messy hair the white cover sliding down a bit as i continued to move, a cold feeling hitting my naked body under the sheets I hold the cover back up to cover my chest looking around the room I was in not remembering when I came here. Taking in the details I couldn’t the night before the walls where a dark gray, no decoration, no photos hanging on them minimalistic to is finest. He didn’t seem like the type of guy who would have candles and a fluffy carpet to decorate his room, obviously. A sight left my lips as I lay back over the soft mattress of the king sized bed, the room was spotless though everything was so clean as if he had just bought it, the though that maybe he bearly spend anytime in this house passed through my mind. Men are all the same, they buy large houses just to fill more their egos in the end their hearts are the ones left empty.

With a sight I lay down again feeling something hard under my head my body instantly becoming stiff at the thought of him, I turned to the side only to be meet with his face right next to mine. He had a hard expression over his features even while sleeping although the light shining from window made his features look soft almost like a completely different person. The scar on his face shined under the sunlight, it had healed a lot more since the first time I saw him. It wasn’t fresh as I could tell but he certainly got it not long ago. He looked so beautiful right now stealing my breath away at the sight of his calm face so close to mine, his milky white skin so soft under mine. How could he look so calm and peaceful right now, people like him always amazed me. Criminals like him.

The memories from last night swimming back to my mind like a brick, I didn’t know what to feel in this circle of fire after all the things I’ve done deep down I knew the damage was already done, i kept thinking that every time almost like a silly cry for mercy. I could try to make things better and say I was only being threatened by the Agust d but, at the same time it would be a lie it would only mean I’m just like one of them. Lying and manipulating people so I can escape the horrible things I’ve done. I can’t go back to who I used to be. I can’t be the girl Namjoon wants me to be, I know that. I don’t want to go back and right now I couldn’t feel a single drop of remorse or guilty.

Am I becoming one of them?

The only things that comes to my mind is that I just know, I want to go to him.

Mindlessly I gave into the temptation to touch his skin, he was so close to me now I needed to feel his skin again. After last night I don’t think I’ll ever be able to forget what we did, the need to touch him was bigger then any self control I had in my body Yoongi was like a drug. Once you have a taste you can’t stop yourself and want more. Slowly moving my hand towards his face I softly traced his check down to his jaw. He didn’t move a bit, seemed to be still deep in his sleep. I could still taste him on my lips, just the thought of his hands over my skin were enough to send me into a mess. What was about him that felt so deeply addictive?

I carefully traced up over his check but before I could get any closer to his scar my wrist was quickly held away from his face.

He opened his eyes slowly, staring into mine sharply. I gulped down nervously.

- don’t - was all he said, in a low deep voice.

I slowly moved my head up and down signaling “ok” shivers running down my spine as his sharp eyes kept looking at me, hard expression over his soft features. Same eyes that burned over mine last night, It was so hard to maintain eye contact with him I could never guess what was going through his head. Did I upset him? I couldn’t tell, not when his eyes were a pool of honey and coffee shining so beautifully under the sunlight to stare deep into mine.

- you’re awake - I whispered, feeling completely out of breath.

- the whole time - he said, I bite down on my bottom lip deciding to look at his hand that still held my wrist away from his face. Warmth burning at my cheeks.

I was surprised he even slept here after last night, I couldn’t remember how we got up here the last thing I remember was falling asleep after he sanded me into an overdrive of pleasure. Now that I was back to my self the thought brought a nervous feeling to my insides, I liked being in his presence but I hated how much I liked that. Especially knowing he wasn’t the type of men to care enough about woman after he sleeps with them. I shouldn’t have let this happened, now this was just another card he could use against me in the future. I must keep myself strong in order to survive here this wasn’t the world I was used to after all, it was his world.

I tried to take my wrist from his grip but he didn’t let go, making my eyes run back to his nervously. He pressed my arm over my head lifting himself up to rover over my body completely, his skin burning against mine just like last night as he lays his body over mine. The feeling of his naked body against mine sending a shiver down my spine making me arche in desire instantly, the little movement of my hips bringing a knowing feeling of discomfort enough to make me knowledge how my body was still recovering from last night but still in desperate need of touch again.

He held both my wrists above my head, lips falling over my neck kissing and biting over the marks he left last night.

- you regret it - it wasn’t a question he murmured against my skin almost like a cat purring, I gulped down the feeling of warmth that rise up my body at the sound of his low voice, releasing his face from my neck to stare at my face his eyes scanned the marks he left on my skin with a smirk on his face.

- no - I whispered back, feeling how dry my throat was.

- lies…. I know that look on your face - he said, a smirk on his lips and now this wasn’t Yoongi anymore - want me to remind you how much you liked last night?

I gulped down not being able to say anything, this was Agust D now.

I couldn’t say anything, my mind would say something and in a second my body would betray me for his touch completely under the addicting need of his touch.

In a movement he sat down between my legs pushing his long hair back as the bed covers falling completely from our bodies exposing our naked selves to each others gaze. My eyes scanned every detail of his chest I couldn’t last night, we were so starved for each other i bearly had any chance to simply appreciate his presence. My heavens, he was so beautiful. This isn’t good for my self control.

How his milky skin shined under the dim sunlight that graced us through the slightly open curtains, enhanced every detail over his body, every vain in his arms and hips. I felt completely tipsy over him, just the sight of him was enough to turn me into a mess so thirsty for his taste.

- I guess we could… - he traced my knee slowly down to my hip bringing me closer, stealing a gasp from me at his harsh movement - I don’t mind reminding you again.

His eyes seemed to be capturing every part of me all spreed for him, heat burning over my cheeks. He lower himself down in a second my own hands coming in touch with his chest at instinct, the feeling of his soft and cold skin over my hands making me melt in want under his kiss stoping a few seconds after. A smirk danced over his lips as he looked down at my hands over his chest, the only thing stopping him from completely falling over me.

- I should tie you up next time - he said, I couldn’t hold the surprise at his words not being able to make out any sane thought afterwards.

He chuckled at my reaction grabbing my thigh over his hip fixing himself between my legs, his touch making my entire body heat up with desire electricity flooding through my veins every time his fingers brushed over my skin making me anticipate every moment he goes further. With his fingertips ghosting over my hip, it’s only a second before he dips his hand between my parting thighs. I gasp a the touch feeling my insides clench around nothing, making him chuckle above me my hands sliding up from his chest to his shoulders grabbing the skin. Goosebumps running over my skin from head to toe as he keeps a slow rhythm running his finger up and down teasing my clit, waves of pleasure instantly spread across my body making me bite my lip. Not being able to keep my eyes opened as the pleasure completely melted over me at the feeling of his fingers circling over my clit caressing so damn slowly.

The tension begins to build so deliciously all control I had was completely lost now, replaced with an intense desire to have him inside me. Every touch is electric, pleasure filling every inch of my body until my legs start shaking. Digging my nails into his skin as the waves of a bliss roll through my body.

- do you still regret it? - he mumbles over my ear.

I bite into my lower lip to keep a moan down as he slips inside me one finger, holding tighter over his shoulders as he uses his thumb to move over my clit while still moving inside me. He chuckles at my reaction with his other hand holding my chin up making me look at him, lips brushing over mine his eyes burning with desire.

He stops his movements bringing his fingers back up over my lips caressing my bottom lip with his thumb covered on my arousal, his breathing is faster eyes looking heavier now he kept biting and licking over his lower lips. I didn’t took another second and sucked on his thumb, tasting myself on him he groaned deep and needy pleasure displayed over every corner of his face in a second he replaces his thumb with his tongue inside my mouth, I moan against him rolling my hips up on his feeling how hard he already is over me. Stoping only to adjust himself between my thighs, the feeling of his hard cock slowly sliding inside me sending waves of pleasure all over me making me arch my back. Starting out slow as he groans over my ear I grab into him tightly closing my arms around his shoulder as he continues to move back and forth, kissing beneath his ear earning a grip over my hips as he moves deeper inside me making me burn with desire his hips buck into me a growl emitting from his chest and I moan out his name feeling my insides clench around his cock.

I can’t help but whimper against his neck holding him tighter, thighs pressing around his waist his lips finding mine again as he begins to quicken his peace. Hand slipping between my thighs again to press his fingers against my clit, body needing release the more he teases it. He thrusts deeper caressing circles over my clit making me moan out loud. Grabbing his hair in fist a hungrily taste his tongue against mine, he can only groan hips quickening in pace as he pumps harder into me feeling breathless as time goes by, pleasure consuming every inch of my body. Another growl builds in his chest growing desperate he begins to move faster, feeling his cock hit deeper within my walls he bites into my bottom lip the familiar sting rising all over my body the warmth swell until it washes all over my body, legs trembling in high pleasure until it becomes so overwhelming I feel it dripping down my slit.

He groans separating our lips as he rides out his own he pulls away keeping himself up with his arm above my head, unsteady breathes escaping his mouth over mine as he pulls his cock from within my dipping walls pumping his length with a tight grip it takes only a few second before the drops of his release fall over my belly, he comes undone over me before the last drop of his release hits my flesh he falls against my body.

None of us moves still catching our breaths as we get down from our high and slowly we come right back. He pulls himself up again a knowing smirk over his lips as he bite into the lower lip staring down at me.

- any regrets? - he asked, I only moved my head side to side indicating a “no” not looking into his eyes as I only stared down at his neck watching his chest move up and down while he chuckled.

He leaned down again pressing a kiss over my lips before getting up, I stared at his naked back seeing the long marks of my nails on his back as he entered the bathroom. He came back no long after wearing a red silky robe and pants.

- I have work to get done - he said, standing in front of the bed - make yourself at home, you can use anything you need here.

- okay… - I murmured looking up at him, he kneeled down over the bed making a sing with his finger for me to get up towards him.

I slowly made my way back to him, holding the shits to cover me as tight as possible. Once I was close enough he grabbed me by the neck pressing his lips over mine, feeling his tongue slip inside my mouth without permission I groaned against him he stops the kiss with a bite over my lower lip. Giving me one last look he turned around to leave the room.

Oh god.

It took a lot more effort than I thought it would to get up from his bed, covering myself on his sheets a make my way to the bathroom on his room. The bathroom it self was almost as big as the bedroom but, different then the rest of the house it was brighter in colors once completely inside im meet with a big square bathtub, a shower beside it separated and on my right a large sink with a mirror that went up to the ceiling. I made my way towards it looking the mess I was n the mirror. If I didn’t knew any better I’d thought I got in a fight last night upon seeing myself in the mirror.

From my jaw down my neckI completely covered in marks, his love bites were something else. Letting the sheet fall to my feet I found out my neck wasn’t the only part of me he marked, my hips had scratching marks as well as my back and belly following up to my chest.

Memories of his touch and roughness filling my mind, how things escalated so fast last night. I couldn’t let a simple night of pleasure - and morning - erase how much distress he has put me this past week. Threatening me and making me do his dirty work just to make things more difficult for me to get him. I quickly brushed off, now it wasn’t the time for this and I need that shower more then ever. To relax my body and clear my mind.

As much as the bathtub seemed so inviting I make my way towards the shower, I just needed to cool things out right now my mind was still clouded filled with not so pure thoughts I had to make out what steps to take from now, letting the warm water fall over my tired body immediately relaxing all the muscles a sight of relief leaving my lips at the warm feeling take over my entire body. For now I would have to sort things with Yoongi as soon as possible we’ve been playing this game for too long and things need to be fixed now there’s no time to play when you’re in a world like this I can’t just let him throw me from side to side with no clear direction, reaching out to grab the shampoo I found out there was none only a lavender scented soap. A sight left my lips as a improvised tying my hair with itself. No washing hair today then.

Feeling much calmer now that I was clean I don’t take much time there though I knew I would be there for hours if I let myself wonder too much in my thoughts. Once I’m done, I dry myself out covering my body with the towel making my way back to the room realizing only my shirt was here on the floor, the rest of my clothes were probably still on the meeting room. The thought immediately brought a blush to my face. I can’t just go there wearing only a towel to cover my body, what if someone sees me?

That thought definitely wasn’t pleasant. I swallowed the bitter taste, the closet was beside the bathroom the door half opened I quickly make my way there the lights turned on by itself making it clear every piece of clothing inside it perfectly organized and hanged all separated by colors. Not that it was much colorful though, mostly being black and white and a very few gray button shirts and blue. Taking a closer look at the clothes feeling the fabrics as i slide my fingers over one it felt and looked so expensive, how neat and perfectly organized they were, how good they all smelled. This wasn’t just any smell, It transmitted luxury in every detail.

If I take any piece of clothing here Yoongi might actually cut my head off - I thought for a second but quicklyI brushed it away, making my way towards the drawers, there’s must be something here I could borrow for now that would get me kill, right?

The first one I opened immediately got me shocked, it was filled with rings and watches of all types shining with gold and diamonds all organized side by side. I closed that one as fast as I opened, turned to the next one it had some more shirtsI kept looking carefully through them till I finally found were his pajama pants were. I had to hold myself from having a little happy dance, I was begging to feel so nervous there. All of those expensive clothes, if I messed up yoongi would kill me.

But he wouldn’t mind if a borrow one of his pajama pants, would he? Out of everything there those were the only ones that seemed least shocking expensive. Once I got what I needed I quickly left that closet, dressing myself on the bedroom.

I took one final glance at myself on the mirror wall beside the bed, it didn’t look much different than what I would usually look on weekends. The pants were baggy on me even though they felt a bit tighter over the hips, definitely not meant for a woman with hips like mine but still comfortable. I fixed my hair the best i could leaving it fall messily fall over my shoulders.

I didn’t know what to do now, should I just leave the house? I know better then to do anything that could risk my life, it wasn’t just some normal persons place but a mafia man no other then Agust d. I would first have to talk with Yoongi, something’s needed to be discussed.

Making my way out of the room I immediately regret it not asking him were he would go, how am I supposed to find him in this enormous house? I didn’t have time to even check we’re we where going last night since we were obviously busy, things felt so confusing out of a sudden. What am I even doing here? Yoongi had some explanation to do over all that belonging thing with the Paradise poker card, just what in the world those people are doing with that?

He didn’t look like that type of men. He wasn’t that type of men. So what does he really want from me?

Not only that thought is driving me completely insane but, what in the world was I thinking? A sense of regret was bound to cross my mind, all the choices I made were only to save my brother. Even so the heavy weight over my chest wasn’t leaving me, would my brother finally be safe now that they have me? The only thing I knew was I had to make sure of it. How could I trust them so easily to the point were I completely forgot who I was, all my choices were meant to save someone yet I could still damage his life just as bad. If word goes out not only will my brothers life be in danger but, Namjoon.

I laid in the bed of his enemy, he would never forgive me for it if he finds out. Not only that but I’m sure the station would turn against me. They probably already know I’m with Yoongi, I can’t go back to the life I used to have. All the choices I made took me to rock bottom. And I can’t blame anyone else for it but myself.

How foolish of me. I didn’t deserve any forgiveness. I must carry on this path, wherever it takes me I must make sure I survive this war I stared with myself.

I don’t know when I found myself in front the meeting room Yoongi took me last night, I’ve been walking in this long corridor for a while now. It looked even more beautiful in the day light, now I could see the how the light form outside shined over the water falling over the window the small table with all sorts of drinks over on the right a for seat sofa in front of the wall were some of his and mine clothes were displayed and a tea table in the middle were empty cups lay there with a bottle of whiskey almost empty out the sing we must have had more drinks last night before we go to his bedroom, nothing else in the room but that. The sound of water falling was calming, the traces of last night were in every corner of the room immediately bringing a hot blush to my cheeks as I stared at our clothes laying everywhere, the possibility of someone might heaving seen it made me instantly rush to get them. I quickly took one by one in my hands, the house was so quiet except for the sound of water falling from further away though I could swear I heard voices one of them was clearly Yoongi. I couldn’t go back to the room and put the clothes there, I was sure I would get lost again so I just hide them under the sofa as fast as I could and quietly made my way to back at corridor again.

Fallowing the sound of their voices the best I could I stopped in front of a double door on the left of the long corridor, they seemed to be coming from there, standing beside it I kept my focused on their conversation.

- why did you have to bring her!? - it was Jack who said, I recognized and he didn’t sounded so happy - she’s one of them!

I was the only she I knew was brought here so this was definitely a conversation about me, no wonder Jack isn’t doesn’t sound so happy.

- I’m well aware of that Hoseok, what do you want from me? - it was Yoongi, he sounded calm like Jacks outbursts were nothing.

So that must be Jacks real name, everyone here seemed to have code names so the police don’t track them down.

- she’s been behaving only because we kept her on a leash with that brother of hers… - Jack stated, I could hear the anger building up on his voice again as he speaks - I can’t believe you would do such stupid thing just for a pussy D!

- Are you accusing my ability to make decisions because of a woman? - Yoongis voice was calm but stern at the same time at his words they both fell silent.

There were a few moments of silence between them, before I hear the sound of crashing glass.

If Jack is so pressed about me being here I must do something, he wouldn’t hesitate to take my brother life if something happened to Yoongi and it has been clear since day one how much he already disliked me I can’t let myself fall especially now that I’m under the same roof as them. If shooting one of Namjoons men wasn’t enough to prove them they had me I would have to go to the bottom of this. Things are getting messy more and more, Jack wasn’t wrong about this after all me being here definitely wasn’t the best choice. Why did I have to shoot that guy? Now I’m stuck here and probably will have to work more for Yoongi before he even considers letting me go, In the end is not much different then the my work at the station, I would still have to prove my worth for men the only difference is that now I must do it so Jack doesn’t kill my brother or me while I sleep.

- you know better then anyone else who I am and what I’m capable of… - Yoongis tone wasn’t as calm as before, now sharp and clear - do you not trust me?

- of course I do… is she who I don’t trust! - Jack exasperated, anger spilling at every word.

- I’ll kill her myself if she does anything - Yoongi said, his words sanded a chill down my spine.

Everyone seemed to have a desire with for my head on a plate, even though all I did was obey. None of them say a single words after that, I heard step’s getting closer and I quickly turned to leave that wasn’t the best moment to be found by someone who wanted me dead sneaking around especially after he had a very exclusive conversation with his boss. If I wasn’t going down by Yoongis hands Jack would definitely do the job,very painfully I assumed.

And so, if his trust is what I need to get to live I better do something quickly.

Before I could even take another step the doors were opened harshly, good thing they opened towards the outside hiding me from Jack in the process and almost breaking my nose as well.

I swallowed hard feeling my heart almost bursting out of my chest, I waited a bit as I could tell Jack was leaving the corridor through his heavy steps until I don’t hear any sound of him to come out of my hiding spot behind the door.

I took a deep breath before entering this couldn’t wait any longer, I had to set things straight with Yoongi now or else this would end very ugly. Closing the doors behind me as I entered I was soon meet with a large office the room was dark no lights in it except for the the light coming from the window balcony were he stood back turned towards me not noticing me presence. I took a deep breath holding myself as I felt a cold wind flew by the opened window, he still wore the same red silky robe from earlier smoke filling the air around him cigarette in his hand. He seemed to be in deep thought not noticing as I made my way into his office.

Suddenly I felt so small, like I just disrupted a tiger who was sleeping peacefully but I needed to have this talk with him we have to put the cards on the table now more then ever. If I can’t play against him, I’ll play with him instead.

I cleared my throat the sound making him look over his shoulder instantly, my heart almost skipping a beat as his eyes locked with mine the smallest gestures of his could turn my whole world upside down. I had to take control of my body, this won’t work if he keeps affecting me this way.

He turned back slowly taking a blow of the cigarette as he sat down on the big chair behind the desk, blowing the smoke lazily as he looked at me up and down. I swallowed hard, all the muscles in my body goin stiff under his sharp eyes.

He looked incredible good right now, messy dark hair and chest half exposed by the robe he didn’t care to tie.

- are you just going to stand there and watch me? - he asked.

- no… - o clear my throat again, mind going blank at the sight of him - we need to talk.

That’s right, talk. I have to put my cards on the table and now is time for our first match, only thing I have no cards to use against him.

- we do - he agrees, putting the cigarette down.

I took the seat in front of him. Nervously and slowly I tried to use any second a could in order to form a sentence, we have been through so much now yet I have no idea how to start this conversation.

Like something was lost after we slept together, I can’t let that change my mind so easily but I also cannot ignore it. After all, Yoongi brought me here.

- why did you brought me here? - I asked him, that was a good start.

- I already told you that - he said, blowing more of the smoke in the air.

- yes, but you didn’t explain - he sighted, I watched as he just took another blow of the cigarette eyes going up and down over me.

-right, I’ll explain then - he got up from the chair, walking up to a small bar set on the left just before the window he filled a cup for himself before proceeding with his explanation - there is a order in crime, those who come before anyone else and those who come after them. At the top is where me and a few more people stand, anyone else that comes after us is… well low graded.

- were do I stand in there? - I asked watching as he game me a smirk only.

- nowhere, you don’t stand there - he said, sitting back down at the chair in front of me - you seem, leaders of powerful groups like me are what you can call a pure blood. People who work for us are dirty blood, to enter Paradise you must prove you’re one of us or that you belong to us that way we keep things under control and away from any risks of being find.

- what happens if someone who’s not you or work for you tries to get in?

- well two scenes could happen - he said, taking a sip from the cup - you have a card that proves you belong to someone or you don’t, so you die.

- just like that?

- yes, we can’t risk our client’s safety - he said, eyes fallowing every part of my face for my reaction.

- is that why you gave me that card?

- that’s not the same thing, you gave me someone else’s card that someone didn’t wanted to belong anymore and used you to returned to me - he explained leaning forward to get closer, a smirk on his lips - by returning her card you automatically offered yourself to me.

- what?! - I gasped.

- I thought Scarlet told you that, that’s why I accepted you seeing your confusion now she must’ve not - he chuckled.

- but why would you even consider accepting me on the first place - I asked, this didn’t make any more sense to me. Why use such stupid method for something so serious?

- we needed a new mole and you just so happened to be there right on time - he mumbles - nothing especial.

I couldn’t face the smirk on his lips deciding to keep my focus on his hands instead as he played with the tip of the cup in front of him, the brown liquid melted the ice cubes on it smoke dancing around the air.

That woman knew exactly what would happened to me yet she didn’t utter a single word about it, she knew what all of that meant but didn’t told me anything. I could feel the anger building inside me, the more I thought about her face the more hate filled men nerves. I should’ve had noticed something was off, no one hands information that easily. That card she gave me then by Yoongis words meant she worked for him before, that’s how she knew were he was and Paradise. I wondered what kind of work he gave her, that would explain why he would need a woman.

I’m sure he could have better men do what ever job he wants yet, he choose me - actually he accepted as he said. Here I did everything he asked me, leaking information for him and even shoot someone for him and I’m still here. I wasn’t part of his world just a mere mistake, a mere side effect that happened because of my stupid choices and actions, was sleeping with me all he wanted? Why was I still here?

He sighted getting up from the chair walking around the desk to stop in front of me leaning over towards me his face mere inches away from mine, a cold chill running all over my skin as I turned my eyes back to the floor I couldn’t even look at him now. I didn’t even try to stop him from bringing me here he gave me his hand and I took it, I was the one who decided to shake hands with the devil.

My brother was a mere contributor for this to happen, t protect my brother I must live. I want to live. It is clear as the sky, who ever crosses Yoongis path will end up dead that gives me no choice but, honestly I couldn’t feel single bit of remorse about it. Not everyone in this world if a saint, everybody has their own secrets and share of misfortune, not everybody can play the hero but that doesn’t mean you don’t have to get your hands dirty a bit. Playing safe can only take somewhere, if you don’t take the risk and shake hands with the devil sometimes you’ll never be able to reach farther. I was tired of being the nice person, never saying no while everyone though they could walk over me.

I have to play smart if I want to keep breathing, I’ll gladly shake hands with him again in order to do that.

- the moment I saw you in that police station, I could tell you were born to be like me… you’re whole body aches for this. I see the potential in you, so why not under me? - he whispered, leaning towards me he looked me against the chair with both hands on rather side of me.

He slowly brushed my hair out of my face. Just like this morning I felt completely hypnotized by him, his words were poison disguised as sweet honey, dripping from his lips like he never spoke a lie.

He was giving me the opportunity to work for him, now is my chance to make this deal. Although I don’t completely agree with him or his methods.

- how would you know? - I breathless asked him, only for his smirk to grow even more. How could he just read me like that.

My body felt deeply attracted to his, every cell on my skin was aching to meet his but this wasn’t good for me. How could he know so much about me, when we only meet a few times? How could he read me so well to know who I’m?

All I did this whole time was to survive, to protect my brother. How was that because I’m like him?

- because… - he closed the distance between us, lips brushed over mine - anyone else would call the police already, you’re were not one of them so the right decision you should’ve made was to tell someone about all the things that happened. Stop lying to yourself y/n. You’re choices speak louder than all this bullshit you’re trying to put up.

- no, you used m y brother against me, I didn’t have a choice - I stared back into his pool of ice coffee iris.

- you and I both know you did, that night you didn’t have to come alone you didn’t have to come at all - he chuckled - use all this excuses to make yourself plausible, you think you can go back to your station and they will give you a big hug and flowers?

- I’m not like you…. - I said through my teeth.

- no… - he said amazed, hands closing around my chin to make look up into his eyes - you can’t ever be like me, I’m worst.

- what do want from me anyway? - I spat, taking his hand from my face.

- depends… what are you willing to do for me? - he retorted, standing up he walked back to his chair sitting down - can put a bunny to work for me if she won’t be able to hunt.

- I think you already know…. - the thought of the night before instantly flowing back to my mind. I was willing to shoot someone again if needed. But not willing to admit that out loud.

A moment of silence fell between us so thick you could cut with a knife. We were exposing our cards now, I had a stupid pair of threes of spades while he kept putting aces down. Each time. Every word coming out of his mouth just as sharp as a knife.

There was still one card I needed to get out of this play.

- why were you at the station that day? - I finally asked him - the night after we meet in downtown, you were at the station and then… you attacked the diretor of my… of the station.

- just some business…

- cut that bulshit! - I snap - you better start giving me answers!

- I don’t owe you nothing… your one of my dogs now - he said, tilting his head to the side a smirk on his lips mocking me - but if you wanna know so bad, and we’ll since you did used to work there I’ll tell you after your done with your job tonight.

- what about my brother? - I asked him, making him sight.

- humm… well, he owes me a lot of money - he smirked.

- I’ll pay for him… - I swallowed hard. The smirk immediately desapear from his face, he looked at me dead in the eye as if already expecting.

- who said I’d accept it?

- what? - my body immediately falling over the feeling of an exhausted helplessness. Why wouldn’t he accept? What does that even mean?

- he owes me…. Not you - he said, lighting another cigarette.

At that I scoffed.

- he’s my responsibility, I failed to protect him that’s why he’s like that now. - I tell him.

- trust me… it’s not your fault - he said, looking up to blow the smoke as if he knew something I don’t.

- just let me pay for him already… - I insisted.

- do you have the money? - he said impatiently.

- I’ll get it… - somehow I could. I didn’t even knew how much he owed them. Yet here I’m putting my neck on the line again.

- you don’t. - he cuts me off - which means you can only do one thing to pay your brothers debit.

I swallowed nervously. Cheeks hitting up.

- don’t worry… I don’t want you to pay it with sex - he chuckled, noticing my expression - that won’t bring my money back.

- no? I mean of course it won’t, I thought…

- you’ll stay here and work for me - he said - can’t risk that little mouth of yours outside anyways, especially when that Namjoon guy is searching everywhere for you.

The mention of Namjoon immediately brought my eyes back to his. He was searching for me? Why would he, after everything I’ve done. Only if he doesn’t know anything how I was the one who sabotage his whole operation. Maybe he does know, of course he does no one could beat him at the station he was the best investigator there he’s probably looking for me to put me behind bars.

- what’s with you and that guy anyway? - Yoongi asked, - he always seems so… are you and him, you know?

- no. - I immediately cut him off, anger boiling inside me at his insinuating - he is just… was a friend.

- i don’t really care about that… just making sure….

- I won’t tell him anything don’t worry, is not like I can he’s probably looking for me to lock me up - I interrupted him, this whole conversation turned upside down - he’ll do that if he finds me, I won’t make that mistake.

- good then. - he drank the whole liquid before putting the cigarette insides - you’ll be staying here from now.

- I need my things - I tell him, I can’t stay here without clothes and shampoo. It feels like prison.

- I’ll manege that don’t worry, - he said - I need you to be ready tonight though, we’ll go to paradise tonight I need to finish some business… I’ll use your excellent talent into finding people to get a rat that seems to be lost.

I only nodded. Of course that wouldn’t be any wait until I get used to all of this, someone like him must have his hands full of work he probably doesn’t spare any second to get into action.

Talent into finding people, he meant how I was so up his ass in the station to find him. I didn’t found him though, he was the one who found me.

That time, I was the rat.

[…]

If someone told me I would be working for the mafia years ago, I would have laughed at their face. I had trained my entire life to put guys like him under bars nothing could ever excuse all the thing their organization did to so many people, downtown has been the worse every since Agust D implanted himself here. But look at me now, working for him willing.

If I wanted to blame my brother for it, I could. All his irresponsible choices took me there to help him, if I didn’t went there to save him and actually called Namjoon for help would it be any different? But if I didn’t have gotten there, what if something happened to him? Any minute longer my brother would be dead in that day. Would Yoongi show up to help my brother? Why did he help us that night, more then that he took us to eat.

When he mentioned how much money brother owed him I saw how his eyes shined, he knew something I didn’t about my brother more then just his addiction maybe, but what could that be? How am I supposed to find that out now?

Yoongi is somehow connected to the police, that’s how he’s been able to clean his tracks. He probably has someone else there working for him, just like he did to me. What Jack told me about this unknown men is that he runaway somehow and then I was the one doing the dirty work, I’ve been working in that station for years and I never noticed anything strange but, how could I anyway. I was a mere cop and on top of it all a woman. They would never even talk to me.

Thinking about it now, I’m starting to understand why Yoongi choose me to work there for him. I was the perfect puppet for his play. For as long as I have been working as a cop at the station they never really treated me equally, never letting me join the real cases and always just giving the paper work besides all my capabilities and background they never even gave me a chance to prove what I could do. I was an outcast there, how would they notice me running around stealing information for the mafia, they couldn’t even look me in the same level. No one would expect it.

At this point I don’t even know where my judgment has come to, Yoongi is the bad guy. He is the evil that robs all are streets from seafty, this feeling of attraction can stop me from seeing him as who he truly is.

Maybe I’m not as good as I thought I was? Maybe he is right, I’m a bad person.

I know I can’t runaway from the path I choose but I don’t feel like running anymore. At the station no matter how good I was it was never enough, I would never be enough for them. This might not be the best path for someone to fallow, but I trust myself more then anyone in this world. I would never chose a path I can’t walk through, if I came here alive I’ll stay alive.

After I left Yoongis office mind still clouded with thoughts as I made my back to the room we had slept in, he said he would bring some of my clothes from my house soon also making sure no one knows about it and insured my brother wouldn’t knew either that someone went there, after that he only told me to be ready by 7pm. No details. Short and direct.

He wasn’t taking me out to eat, he gave me a mission. And if finding someone was all there was to it, it shouldn’t be so difficult? Besides is not like he asked me to end someone’s life.

A small clock was sat at the side table of the bed, I notice it was 3pm. The fact that it wouldn’t take much longer for me to start getting ready to go to Paradise again, made me nervous. This time was different then the other times I went there, those times I was set to get information to use against Yoongi and now I would have to get information for him it was complete different, I knew he was using this stupid mission to see if would be able to work under him, he was testing me. I was feed up with all this tests and mind games he kept playing to use me, but I could blame him a man in such position would never risk his empire over a a small inconvenience like me. I should’ve expected that from the beginning, he doesn’t put you into training like the police does to k ow you’re worth, he throws you in a ring and you better come out alive. I didn’t know how I would be able to do this, I agreed with him to do this. This time it was all my choice and deep down I knew it was my last test.

The police never once was able to enter paradise, not until I was. But I’m not a cop anymore. It wasn’t official but I doubt it would take much longer for my face to be on the news.

“Female cop join hands with the mafia, turns out she’s been giving out information to them and she was the cause of the long take to solve the case”

People would hate me. If my father was alive, he would probably put me in jail no second thought. But if he was alive, would I even be here now? My brother wouldn’t have choose that path, he wouldn’t owe Yoongi a single dollar. And I wouldn’t have had to save him that night. Still Yoongi had connections in the station, would we still meet me after all?

While I was walking around the room deep in my thoughts of how I completely destroyed my life, a few nocks on the door took me out of my mind completely. In a few seconds a maid entered the room with a tray of food, she seemed old a few grey hairs standing out at the sides of her perfectly made bun. She didn’t made eye contact with me not did she smiled.

- boss asked me to bring you some food, - with that she pulled the tray over the bed and turned back to me - your dress will be delivered soon as well your things.

With one last bow she turned back and left.

I looked over the food on the bed, it was two sandwiches and a orange juice. So soon I’ll go back to paradise, except this time I’ll be going with Agust D.

I didn’t wanted to think about anything anymore, right now more then ever I just wanted to throw everything in the air. I’m such a cowered. Things get tight and what do I do? Stupidly try to forget about it? I won’t ever be able to forget anything.

I could die any moment by the hands of Agust d right shoulder, Jack. Without any words he made it very clear that if I took some step slightly wrong, he would end my brother and I.

Not only is my brothers life on the line now but mine, and Namjoons.

A while later I was finally able to eat the food the maid brought me, my nervousness was beginning to make me weak and tonight I’ll need all the energy I have to complete this mission.

Good or bad a mission is still a mission. That’s what Namjoon would always said to me to make me feel better about all the paper work i was put to do. He knew better what a bad mission is like no one else.

After eating I decided to take a cold quick shower, just to wake up my body and muscles. Once I was done I walked back to the room only to find a few boxes around and a dress placed over the bed. I took a look closer to it taking the black silk into my hands, the tag flew out of its hiding spot and I gasped.

No he did not.

I immediately put it back on the bed.

Yoongi you little…. Why would you spend that much money on a dress like that?

I sighted holding my temple, no way I’ll wear that tonight. After recomposing myself I looked over the two boxes beside the bed. Opening one I found out my clothes in one, the other had all my personal necessities. He better not have sanded a men to get my underwear.

After looking around my clothes I decided to wear a simple black shirt and a dark colored jeans. If anything happens tonight I’ll be able to defend myself and move around without being noticed.

I took a few looks at myself on the mirror, the door of the room opened quickly starling me I turned back to find Yoongi. He must have showered already, hair a bit wet and styled back. He wore black as usual except for his white shirt underneath the coat. The minty and woody scent coming form him was enough to make you drunk on him. I cleared my throat as he continued to look at me up and down one eyebrow slightly raised.

- what are you wearing? - he asked, his sudden question making me look side to side.

- clothes?

- no obviously… - he rolled his eyes back walking up to me stoping a few feet away - you’re not wearing this tonight, right?

- yes I’m.

He only chuckled.

- put the dress on - he order, a serious expression over his features.

- no, I’m going there for work not partying - I tell him.

- you take things way to seriously…. - he said closing the distance between us - you’re not walking beside me in Paradise wearing that, otherwise I would t have bought that dress just to collect dust.

I gulped down. Dressed like this, of course he wouldn’t want to be seen with someone like like me there. I bet red haired woman was much better company then. I turned to side, trying to act as if his words didn’t make a difference to me, as if I wasn’t hurt by it. Over the mirror I catches him looking me up and down again before looking into my eyes one last time and turned back around. He sat lazily over the end of the bed, signaling to the dress.

I sighted. Walking towards the dress I took agryy making my way to the bathroom, the smirk on his face making me even more angry. Stupid Yoongi and stupid dress.

I took a deep breath before looking at the black silky dress, it was long with a v cut on the left to show the leg, long sleeves that exposed the shoulders small diamonds fallowing a v line over the chest, it left the back to show witch meant I wouldn’t be able to wear a bra with it. How am I supposed to work wearing this?

Forget it, I’ll just put it on to show him and then I’ll take it off.

A dress was the least of my problems now, so I didn’t thought about much after I put it on. Not taking another second I burst out of the bathroom standing in front of Yoongi as he looked up from the floor to me. I don’t know why I was so angry about this but it all seemed to deasapear once I locked eyes with him.

- happy now? - I asked him, closing my arms over my chest. Looking anywhere but him.

- much pleased… - he said. Getting up.

- no, you wanted me to put it on and I did I’ll change back now.

- why can’t you just wear the dress?

- you don’t know? - I asked him incredibly - how am I supposed to defend myself in this? What if I need to run? This isn’t the best disguise!

He walked back towards me, a chuckled leaving his lips once he stood in front of me. I felt so small now I could bearly look at him. How would he know. He’s man.

- you won’t have to defend yourself, I’ll be right there for you - he said, hand over my chin to look up at him - I won’t let anyone hurt you.

- if you do… I’ll hurt you then - at that he smirked.

- is a deal then - He said walking back - put on the shoes I got for you it will look better with the dress.

I looked at him incredulous, he meant the black stiletto over the bed? No way.

- you’ll get the dress I’ll choose the shoes - I tell him.

- fine, as long as it’s not a stupid converse - he said.

- what’s your problem with them? - I asked him as I sit down in the end of the bed.

- they’re just… too hard to take off - he said.

- hard to take… - i immediately stopped myself once I realized what he meant - of course.

I took my Dr. Martens boots and begin to put it on.

- you’re not wearing that - he said.

- yes I’m - I tell him one I’m done, looking up at him with arms closed over my chest - besides you won’t have to worry about taking them off of me tonight.

He chuckled looking down at me.

- I have one more thing for you - he said, walking back to me.

He stood in front of me before getting on his right knee, I looked at him confused until I saw him taking a knife out of his back, it was a tigh garter for one small knife.

- in case you need it - he said, taking my knee in his hand the v cut of the dress exposing my leg for him to slide the garter on my leg stoping over my tigh.

The small knife was secured under the black silk of my dress hidden away from anyone who might see it. He looked up to me, something in his eyes sparkle differently.

- thank you…

He only gave me a smirk, standing up to walk out of the room. I quickly recomposed myself fallowing him outside.

Something was telling me tonight wouldn’t be like any other night I was at paradise, I kept seeing red the more I thought about it even when I tried to push it away it came right back to me.

[…]

The ride to Paradise wasn’t a long one. I sat beside Yoongi on the black Range Rover, even the air seemed different as Jack drove to Paradise but I tried to play it off maybe it was the fact that now I was going to be there as Yoongi makes his business happen, the possibilities of what might happen at the end of this night kept sending a chill down my back. After we’re finally in front of the night club, Jack and his men fallowed behind me and Yoongi as we make or way towards the entrance of the building.

Expensive cars all over around the place like usual, people wearing the most extravagant clothes possible. Smoke in the air as well as the smell of strong woody and sweet perfume.

As Yoongi walked in front to enter the building I fallowed close behind. Tonight everything seemed a bit different, people looked different. Maybe it was all in my head, I wasn’t a very frequent person here anyway. My eyes kept running around as if looking for a shadow hiding in the dark, ready to take off my mask. Starle by the sudden touch behind my back, Iooking up to Yoongi as he moves closer to me.

- stand close to me - he whispered in my ear, hand sliding around my back to stop at my right hip.

I swallowed hard. Only nodding.

We pass the guards who immediately leave space for Yoongi to enter, no questions asked. No questions needed. Agust D is the owner of everything here.

The loud music burst through my ears once we are inside Paradise, it wasn’t as full as it usualy was people who walked past us were definitely not the same usual people. Different from the other times I was here there was less people walking around half naked, the music on the first floor was the usual and a few woman dressed in sexy langerie were doing pole dance in the middle of a set up platform of the place, some just like them were carrying drinks around or small foods in golden trays. The amount of men walking around this place with the same aura as Yoongi led me to think that this was a night only for high class members of the mafia and criminals such as them.

Almost like they knew Agust d was coming, a waitress stopped in front of us and Jack immediately took front to speak with him. A mere waitress can’t speak with Yoongi was what I though.

After talking with Jack the waitress lead us to we’re we where set, a table on the second floor that we’re separated from all the others by a big glass door as water fell from it to a small pound with koy fishes you could only see from outside.

Yoongi stopped before we entered, turning me to him by the hips he leaned over my ear.

- I need you to find someone called Jang Jun woo, he is here somewhere hiding like a rat - he whispered - he is good in desguise and is now working here using the name of Han Seo a waitress in Paradise. Go find him for me, once you do come back to me with his location.

I looked up to him as he leaned back, giving him a nod I turned back to leave not wanting to waste a second. The sooner I find the guy the sooner I can leave here.

I decided to start by the first floor were most of the waitress were at the bar there and not walking around, quickly making my way there I felt so thankful Yoongi didn’t throw a fit for the heels. Especially since I would have to run over the entire building.

The heavy beat of drums and guitar stared playing as slow rock music played in the background, I could feel it beat through my whole body. Nervous I felt not knowing what to do first, I wasn’t given much information about the person I had to find. I didn’t know his face. Only his name wasn’t much to help but maybe that’s what Yoongi wanted, to make things more difficult for me so I work harder to find the guy he wanted. Yoongi could have any of his men doing the work and it would be over in minutes but he just had to make me do this in order to test me. If I wanted to stay alive I would have to find this men he was looking for. To be honest I thought Yoongi might already know we’re he is and is only testing me to the bones with this stupid mission, what he’ll do with that men after is not my problem my job is to find him and bring Yoongi to him.

I sighted taking a seat at the bar stool, the wall behind the bar was shining bright made entirely from led lights panels the lights shined over all the different kinds of drinks placed over it the same decoration was build on the second floor as well, while I sat there I notice a few people talked with the waitress working over there. There was a total of six men working on this bar, on the other side of this floor closer to the platforms where another bar like this one I would have to inspect it as well.

If I start asking for names it would be suspicious, so first I decided to only observe them that way no one would notice me and neither would Han seo, two waitresses walked passed over me but their name tags were not the one I needed to find. After making sure I got all their names confirming th done I needed wasn’t there I got up walking to the other side were they worked serving the people in front of them, trying my best not to make obvious I serched for the name in their tags. None of them were the one I needed.

Of course it wouldn’t be easy to find him, I have a feeling word mush have gone out that Agust D was coming tonight, and if he’s trying to hide from Yoongi it won’t be as easy to find him.

Only woman were serving drinks around the first floor and after I made sure I checked all the waitresses on the bars, I sighted making my way to the second floor there were two bars on this floor just like the first one people here played poker and drank, there was no one dancing like the first floor and music here was always much calmer then down there, as I entered the second floor I watched every corner of it different from the first floor only men were serving drinks and food here, I can’t just walk around the entire place looking for this men. Not only would it Ben suspicious but entirely useless, I would just be wasting time if I just walk around here. With a sight I turned to the bar close to the entrance for the second floor, after you take the stairs to get here at the left side occupying the entire wall the other one was in the middle of the room a circle bar almost as big as yoongis bathroom I thought. A big chandelier over it shined a warm color covered in diamonds.

I instead made my way to the closest to the entrance taking a sit on a bar stool, I could feel eyes on me the entire time. Maybe Jack was watching giving Yoongi all the details about my stupid investigation how so far I didn’t have a single clue about the Han seo whereabouts, how anyone else could have already funded him if he have made the choice to put me here instead.

- I almost didn’t recognize you… - a voice I knew very well said behind me.

Turning around at the source of the voice I’m meet with a very known face, of course I would run on him somehow I always do.

- Jimin… - I gave him a small smile which he replied with one dripping mischief.

- you look… delicious- he said walking to me taking one of my hand up to his lips to leave a small kiss over it.

- thank you… but I’m here for work actually - I played along.

- ah, what a shame… - he pushed his hair back I notice the black gloves he wore, it shined under the lights as bit of sweat falling from his neck contrasted between the glitter over his skin.

Tonight he had a heavy dark make up covering his eyes, the white shirt slightly button up as usual showing off his skin underneath it and black vinyl pants tightly hugging his legs. So many accessories over his neck shined under the blue lights, he didn’t let go of my hand standing beside me on the bar closing completely the distance between us. A lot had happened between us the last time I was here but, now I couldn’t let his beautiful face distract me it wasn’t the right time for it specially with everything going on.

It didn’t help how good he looked right now to say no, Jimin always seemed to have a way with people his words laced with sweetness he never said the wrong thing, always managing to get exactly what he wants eyes filled with dirtiness alcohol on his breath mixed with the strong scent of Chanel coming from his body he was breathtaking, I was sure there was not a single night were he wasn’t here at Paradise maybe I could take a few words from him since he’s always here. In the end of the night he might be very helpful.

Once I smiled back at him he asked for one of the waitress my eyes immediately falling over his name tag, but just my luck it was not the one I was looking for.

- whiskey for me, lots of ice please is too hot tonight - he smirked while looking back at me, his eyes shined brighter as he took in my features - and for my darling here…

- champagne, please - I answered.

- champagne it is …. - he smirked at me.

The waitress took our orders and walked back to prepare them.

- I saw you entering with Agust d… - Jimin coments - so you really are working with him?

- it seems like it doesn’t it?

- I better watch out then…. He doesn’t like sharing toys - Jimin said, a knowing smile growing over his full lips. He was looking for my reaction, trying to read between the lines. As much lovely as he might presents himself, Jimin wasn’t a fool I could tell he knew exactly what he was doing and with who he was talking.

- I’m not his toy… - I simply said eyes running over the waitress at the bar, feelinghis hold over my hand tightened making me look back into his smoky eyes.

- so he didn’t send you here for a stupid little mission…. - he said.

His words making my checks immediately heat up, he knew. Of course he would know. I wasn’t the first one to be in this exact position and not will I be the last one, sooner or later Yoongi would find someone else to take my place. Tonight might just be that time he’ll choose someone else to if I fail this stupid test.

The waitress soon puts our drinks down in front of us, Jimin immediately drinks half of his before turning to me completely leaning closer to whispered behind my ear.

- maybe I can help you? - the smirk danced over his lips full of mischief.

I didn’t know if I could fully trust him, but right now I had nothing on the guy Yoongi wanted me to find and since Jimin seemed to be so whiling to help I might as well just play along with it, something’s only a woman can do.

- can you? - I whisper back leaning towards him, hand slight dancing over his jaw to bring him closer. He seemed completely out of it, eyes looking up to mine and down my lips.

We’ve been here before, I hated to use the words but he was so easy to use. Anyone could get anything from him with just a few touches, Jimin was the type to exchange information for pleasure for that reason I couldn’t trust him completely but for now, that is exactly what I need.

- your wish is my command - he said against my lips.

I turned to whispered in his ear, making sure to run the tip of my nose over his neck.

- I’m trying to find a little rat that escaped.

- oh, I sure can help you with it. - he said, - nothing happens here that I don’t know about it.

- good kitty - I run my fingers through his hair, he smiles softly. The pet name rolling down my tongue, I didn’t know what the fuck I was doing but it was working.

- who do you need - he murmured over my ear, I could see goosebumps running down his skin.

- a guy named Jang Jun woo, I heard his working here under the name Han seo do you know anything about it? - I asked him, running my hand over his arm.

- oh that guy…. What do you need him for? - he asked.

- just talking, he’s been running away I’m a bit worried about him… - I played.

- I see… i can ask for him here, he’s working in the kitchen now - he said, that fact that he knew so well about this guy didn’t went past me.

- how do you know this? - I asked. He leaned back a smirk over his lips as he stared down at me.

- I know the owner of this place, you can say… we’re pretty close - he said, taking his phone out of pocket.

He knew the owner of Paradise, that meant Yoongi wasn’t the one who ruled this place. Then who is it?

Shaking that thought form my mind for now, my focus was back at the mission in front of me. I still had to think of a way to make sure Yoongi could get Jun woo without him running away, that meant I would have to immobilize him completely. A plan was already forming in my head as I stared at Jimin.

- could ask Han seo to prepare a room for me on the thrid floor? - I ask him, running my fingers over his neck down his chest stoping over a button. Eyes looked with his.

- of course I can… but I thought you just needed to talk with him? - he said.

- don’t worry about it… it’s not him who I want now - Jimin was so easy to play with, with only a few words and a touch here and there I could get anything from him.

I felt bad to use him like this, but not everyone is good in this world. I’ll use whoever I need to and I’ll do what ever I need to, I can’t back down now form this. Yoongi can have anyone doing this for him, that means I’m replaceable if I don’t show him I can do this my head will becut off before I can even try to runaway.

- I’ll get it ready right now then… - he said.

- good kitty… - I left a small peck over his cheek.

- only for you - he took his phone out calling someone - hey Tae, can you ask that Han seo guy to get a room ready for me?

I watched as he talked on the phone.

Tae. Another new name I have to save for later, once I finish this I’m sure I’ll have more questions for Yoongi. That is if I finish this job before Jack puts a bullet in my head. The thought that this might be my last chance wasn’t gone completely from my mind, it definitely didn’t help to know a guy such as him was ready to take me out so easily.

- thanks man… - he turned off the phone - is done, just wait a few minutes I’ll go upstairs with you.

- ok, thank you - I tell him.

- no need, everything for my pretty girl - he laced one arm over my waist bringing me closer, eyes glued to my lips.

- by the way who were talking too? - I change the subject quickly before i give into the temptation of his juicy lips, the longer I was here with him the harder it was to stand there and not grab him by the neck. His captivating aura definitely didn’t help.

- Tae? Oh he’s… how can I tell you? The boss here? - he took the cup with liquid on drinking the entire thing a big gulp.

- so he owes Paradise?

- since you are in our side now… I’ll tell you - he leaned closer - Agust handed Paradise for him personally…. Taes Father was close to Agust like a parent I would say, they are like brothers now.

- oh , I’ll trust him then…

He only gave me a smile, I took a sip of the champagne looking around I could see Yoongis men all over the place to protect him or to make sure I do my job and don’t runaway. I was sure it was the second option. The more I thought about him the more questions raised in my mind, Yoongi had this connection with a guy named Tae, who he handed Paradise to all because he was close with the guys father. The thought made think that somewhere deep down his nonexistent heart was something still human in him, why could he do such thing if not. It was hard to believe though but part of me couldn’t help see something good in him after the sudden information. Nobody knows anything about Yoongi, they all fear him though. I know no one is born a monster, so what happened to him that made him be one?

After we have our drinks Jimin gets up holding a hand out for me to take, I did letting him guide me he said the room was ready and the guy Han seo was waiting there so we made our ways to the third floor.

My heart was beating faster in my chest the closer we got to the corridor the music started to feel deafening, I had no idea what I would do from the moment I step foot in that room. The walls of the corridor felt smaller the deeper we made our way in, stoping in front of a door I looked at the number 226 in gold over the dark wood. I didn’t know how I would go from here, what was I supposed to do with the guy since he’s been hiding from Yoongi there is a good chance he will try to scape. I would have to be very careful about this, I just need to make sure he stays there until Yoongi comes up here.

With that all in mind I opened the door, the guy had his back to me when I entered he was quietly fixing the bed then moved to fix a bottle of champagne over it. Once he turned starlet by my presence he gave me a bow, quickly making his way to leave. Close enough for me to see his name tag, I relief fill my body.

Han seo shined over the simple tag name. Before he could take another step o took his arm into mine.

- Agust D has business with you Jun woo - I tell him.

I didn’t know his face but the desparation in his eyes as soon as I mention Yoongi and his real name were enough prof. He’s the one I needed to find. Hetried to dogged me and leave the room but i held his arm tighter pushing him over I used my leg to make him fall, holding his arm up with my feat over his shoulder into breaking I forced my feat on him twisting his arm to the right until I hear him groaning at the pain, I stepped over his face.

- quiet! Or I’ll break your arm off - I tell him, getting another painful groan form him.

- what are you doing? - Jimin entered the room, eyes changing from me to the guy on the floor.

- he tried to scape…. - I tell him.

- oh yeah?

- don’t look at me like that - I angrily tell him - you know who I work for, now get something to tied him up now!

He murmured a “ok” and quickly moved around the room to find something to tie the guy, I kept my hold over his arm until Jimin finally bring me the golden ties of the curtains. The guy tried to run away again once I released his arm to tie him but I quickly nocked him out by kicking him in the face. Surprise at my own actions i quickly began to tied up the guy, he lazily kept trying to stop me but I held him still with my feet over his back. One I was sure he wouldn’t be able to get out of the, I turned back to Jimin.

- can I have your phone please? - he nodded handing it to me.

I moved to the guy, taking his cap off I took a pic of his face with the flash on. I had to make sure he was the guy Yoongi was looking for.

- Jimin… can you make sure he stays here like this and not escape? I’ll be back soon - I tell him.

- I wouldn’t dare to disobey - he said, a chuckled coming from his lips - I’ll make sure the rat doesn’t move.

- thanks kitty - I tell him.

I quickly left the room making my way out of the corridor down the stairs to the second floor, adrenaline filling my whole body. Is that how it feels when you get the bad guys? Namjoon must always feel so great after having a mission completed. A small smile made its way to my lips unconsciously, I shouldn’t feel this way but it was still a way of getting back at the bad guys. At least that would be my sense of accomplishment for now.

Quickly making my way we’re back to the second floor where Yoongi was, I had to get there fast before the guy upstairs try anything funny with Jimin. It wouldn’t be nice to let him get in the middle of this whole situation, although he did help me get the guy there. Once I was close enough to the separate table in the corner were I last went with Yoongi I notice a shadow of someone’s head behind the glass wall there, it seemed he had some company there or there then Jack now. Walking past the body guard I made my way inside there seeing as Yoongi sat comfortably on the armchair at the corner, Jack sat at the bigger purple sofa beside Yoongi and over the other side were the glass door was a man a never saw before sat in front of Jack.

Knowing the guy could escape i quickly made my way to Yoongi.

- is it him? - I showed him the picture I took with Jimins phone.

He took the phone from me a smirk forming on his lips as he passed the phone to Jack.

- hes on the thrid floor room 226 - I tell Yoongi.

- very well then, get things ready - he said to Jack who immediately stood up and went out of there with the body guards.

I watched as Yoongi leans back looking me from up and down the smirk never leaving his lips, he holds his hand out for me which i carefully took it, feeling hm ouch me down to sit over his lap hand holding my exposed back to support me the simple touch immediately sanded chills down my spine.

- wanna drink something? - he suddenly asked me.

- no I already had champagne - I tell him, moving my arm around his shoulder.

- yeah I heard… - he said moving a strand of hair behind my ear.

So he was watching me the entire time, my suspicions were right. All of those guards of his were not there to protect him but to keep an eye on my every move. This whole job was a test indeed, I knew that from the beginning. The mocking sound of his voice had more then just a confirmation of this, he knew about me and Jimin.

- this guy here is Chris - he says - he works for me in downtown.

He pointed at the men sitting there, the man held his glass up for me a smile on his face the guy seemed to be in his forties or so, the half done beard and wet blonde hair with a few strands of white were slightly pushed back he wore a red shirt half bottom up exposing the big golden chain around his neck, cigarette on his right hand and a cup with whiskey on the other hand.

His eyes kept running up and down my legs the entire time ever since I walked in, disgust instantly filling me up. That’s why I hate wearing dresses like this, men always look at you like you’re just a piece of meet in a showcase with their little to nonexistent brain think they can get anything from you just because your showing some skin.

I wanted to throw up.

- I see you have a new bitch, does Scarlet knows? - he said, smoke leaving his lips as he takes a sip of the golden liquid on his cup.

- she was the one who left - Yoongi said, hand closing around my knee exposed by the dress slightly moving up - why would I waste my time?

- does this beauty have a name? - he said, making my eyes go back to his disgusting face I catch him eyeing me again.

- not your business- i spat at him, I didn’t care if he was one of Yoongis men or what ever. I was tired of this whole situation.

- oh feisty, for just a another bitch…. just acompaning you Agust? - he said as if I wasn’t there, finally looking away from and at Yoongi beside me.

Rage was boiling over me, I still had the adrenaline from earlier running through my whole body just looking at the disgusting face of Chris was enough to make my blood boil. This place was not different from the station, men still had no respect for woman he must not know what I’m capable of and right now neither do I know what I’m capable of doing if he keeps talking to me like I’m just, a bitch.

The feeling of Yoongis fingers sliding over my thigh towards the knife he gave me before was the only thing that brought me back to my control, immediately looking back to his face as he leaned over my ear.

- should I cut off his toungue? - Yoongi whispered on my ear, hand stoping above the knife, ready to take it.

Although his words sanded a chill down my body, for a second there I felt important. I don’t know what made him say that, the fact that the guy has only been disrespectful towards me and not him shouldn’t be enough for him to cut off his tongue for me. Still he was right there ready to take matter into his hands.

With a heart racing on my chest I slightly brushed my fingers over the hairs at the back of his neck, feeling his breathing deepening at the small touch. There was nothing I wanted more in that moment then to see that guy regretting his words.

- maybe… doesn’t he needs to talk business with you though? - I tell him, turning back to him. - you can do it afterwards.

I’ve never felt so much rage before, I hated this type of guys.

- right… - he said to me. Hand sliding off the knife. I had no doubt he would cut off the guy. Right now I had enough on my plate for such show.

He leaned back eyes staring bored at the guy in front of him, Chris cleaned his throat before sitting straight into his seat.

- so did you find the rat you were talking about? - he asked Yoongi.

- I’m still looking…. You see he’s been hiding very well - Yoongi said. Hand sliding up my back slowly eyes glued to the men’s in front of him. Something seemed different between them.

They were talking about the guy upstairs and if Yoongi just lied about not finding him, it must mean this guy had something to do with Jun woo. Could it be he was also behind this all? Is that why Yoongi is meeting with him tonight the same date as he’s getting back at Jun woo?

Shit. This was going to be a long night.

- doesn’t seem like your stressing yourself much over that… - Chris guy said.

- I have someone looking over it soon he’ll be dead - at Yoongis words I immediately freeze.

I shouldn’t be surprised things would end this way, that’s why he sanded Jack over there to finish the job.

- should we have a toast old friend? - said Chris - here I got you your favorite straight from the business.

A woman with a tray with drinks suddenly enters taking me complete from my thoughts, she wear a black tube dress handing a new drink for Chris before making her way over to Yoongi a cup with dark liquid the strong scent of it which I could tell was definitely whiskey. As he reach to get the cup from her I watched her eyeing him almost rolling my own eyes but before I can even think about it I notice the small pill at the bottom of the cup at making bubbles almost unnoticeable as the ice inside it covered the pill. I’ve seen it many cases with drugs like this at the station and suddenly everything began to connect in my mind.

People here were definitely different from the other times I was here, everyone were important mafia members knowing who with not single doubt know how powerful Yoongi was of course someone would try to take him down. Especially a guy that seemed to be working with the little rat Yoongi was about to kill.

Anger immediately boiled me up, I didn’t think for a second before I take the cup from Yoongis hand as I stood up, throwing it over the table in the middle starling every one around it. In a second I took my knife out of my garter as I made my way to Chris grabbing the man’s face I hold the sharp metal against his cheek.

- how dare you! - I accused him. He groaned eyes searching up for Yoongi behind me. - what’s on his cup? You better tell me now or all cut your face off!

For a moment I saw fear in his face, he looked desperate at Yoongi before my actions but at the mention of the drug on his cup all the fear seemed to dissipate from his face as he only laughed. The sound of his laughter turned a switch on my mind, I no longer could hold it anymore I was simply tired of hearing them laugh at me. With no second thoughts I held the knife tighter over his skin slowly cutting his face as blood started to drip from it.

I could tell Yoongi just sat there watching probably amused by the sight clearly entertained by it, the security guards entered the room but were quickly signaled to back off by him.

From the corner of my eyes I notice Jacks presence there as well, right just in time.

- just ecstasy…. - Chris mumbles under me, he laughed sickly - seems like the bitch doesn’t know her men… silly girl…

Anger boiled over every cell in my body, any idea of sanity I had was gone in that moment. If they don’t know what I’m capable of, I’ll gladly show them.

- seems like you are the one who doesn’t know your place…. - i tell him - let me remind you.

In that split of seconds I catcher that glimpse of fear again that I so desperately was looking for, he didn’t expect me to go further and he didn’t thought for a second Yoongi wouldn’t stop me and with that i cut half his face with the knife Yoongi gave me, deep enough to leave a scar. He groaned out loud, blood pouring from his face as he desperately tried to cover with his hands, I didn’t bother to look at Yoongi in that moment I was pissed at him as well for some reason, putting the knife back at the garter on my thigh I walked out passing beside Jack who stood there at the entrance of the small room ignoring the his hard stare over me I quickly made my way towards the round bar in the middle of the place anger still boiling inside of me. I was tired of men thinking they could laugh at me in the face.

I asked for a new drink for Yoongi, it was still rude of me for that but I couldn’t risk his life like that. Jack would immediately cut every bone in my body if I did. I was lucky he wasn’t there when the commotions stared.

When working as a cop you can’t do such thing to your culprits, you can’t cut half their face just to show who is in control but here is not like this. In Paradise everyone had dirty secrets so many mafia members walk around no one feared to say anything to them, is basically like a swim with sharks if you bleed they will treat you like a prey. I can’t bleed. So I have to ensure I’m not the prey.

Once the waitress gave the new drink for Yoongi I took it with me as I made my way back there. Stopping before the entrance as I heard their voices.

- you need to control your bitch Agust! - Chris spat.

- you need to control your mouth - yoongi responded. There was a minute of silence between them.

I didn’t expect him to take my side. I honestly thought he would put a bullet through my head for doing that to his guest. Although he did asked me if i wanted him to cut his tongue off for calling me that before. That thought gave me some confidence as I finally entered there.

Yoongis eyes looking straight back to mine, regardless of everything the presence of that Chris guy was still a reminder of my anger dripping through every cell of my body. He disgusted me completely. I notice Jack was now back at his sit from before, he looked me up seriousness over his features before looking back at Chris in front of him. Making my way back to Yoongi a sat over his lap handing him the cup with whisky.

He took it giving me a smirk, eyes still not leaving mine. I couldn’t tell if it wasn’t just because the lights were slightly deeming here or if it was just him but, he just looked at me completely different now. I’ve seen those eyes before, the same eyes looked at me last night when he brought to his house after I shoot a police detective for him. The same eyes who so desperately looking into mine when he held a knife over my neck.

He drank the whole liquid on the cup still never breaking eye contact, giving me the now empty cup I put it over the table in the middle.

- you haven’t been much faithful Chris…. - yoongi said, looking back at Chris who still held his bloody face - you should’ve known better Chris then to try anything against me, after all you know who I am.

At that the men fell silent, frozen completely under Yoongis hard gaze. He was holding a napkin over the cut a big blood stain covered the white fabric.

The Chris guy was indeed working with that Jun woo behind Yoongis back, I don’t know what they had up gains him but it didn’t took longer for Yoongi to find out their dirty tricks. I’ve always knew Agust d was always one step ahead of all his enemies and who ever tried to confront him he would cut them off immediately no second chances, every one at the station always talked about his ruthless actions against those who tried.

The more I thought about this guy trying something against Yoongi the more I questioned if that drug on his cup was really just ecstasy, for all I know he could be lying in that moment just to save his own ass.

I looked over the table where I threw the whisky on his cup, a few cubes of ice still melting there as well as the pill.

- you’re lucky she only cut half your face… - yoongi chuckled - I would’ve cut your head off.

- I’m sorry Agust D - the guy said, eyes locked on the floor - it won’t happen again.

- no… it won’t. - Yoongi said - now if you excuse me… I have some business to take care of.

I got from his lap as he stood up behind me, hand holding my hip as Yoongi guided me to the way out. Jack fallowed behind us as well as some of the bodyguards from before.

We made our way through the people around the second floor, towards the stairs for the third floor I thought he sensed Jack there to end the job why would we go there again? Unless he was the one who wanted to end it, maybe he just some information from the guy I doubt he would kill him before getting anything from him.

I turned to Yoongi.

- sorry for your drink - I tell him, to which he gave me a smirk eyes locked with mine.

- why? You were only protecting me, right? - he said, I only nodded making him lean over my ear - besides a love when my woman knows how to use a knife…

I gulped down looking ahead of me instead, we walked past the stairs to the third floor making our way to the room 226.

Yoongi had me beside him the entire way to the room, once we got there one of his body guards were standing in front of the door. He opened the door as soon as he saw us walinking there and Yoongi entered before me.

The lights of the room were all turned on and soon I’m meet with the guy Han seo or Jun woo tied up on a chair, hands behind his back and a few bruises over his face that it wasn’t my doing for sure. On the other side I notice Jimin was still there, he looked at me then Yoongi giving him a bow, yoongi nooded to him making his way to the man tied up.

I decided to stand closer to Jimin, my only mission was to bring Yoongi to the guy Han seo. So I just stood there watching them.

- Jun woo… - Yoongi mocked his name, tilting his head to the side looking the guy up and down - I expected a lot from you, you really thought that hiding in here was a good idea?

- please Agust this is only a misunderstanding…. I - before he could finish his Jack gave him a punch in the jaw.

- He didn’t finish - Jack state as the guy on the chair spilled more blood on the floor.

One of the body guards pulled a chair in front of the guy, Yoongi took the seat there as Jack handed a big knife to him, it seemed to be a hunting knife.

I bite down my bottom lip, he’ll torture him.

- I’ve been informed you have been leaking information about my business to the police, - Yoongi began, playing around with the knife in his hand like the most beautiful toy he had - we almost got caught last night due to your…. big mouth Han seo.

Yoongi chuckled mentioning his fake name, eyes locked with the knife in hands as he moved it around his fingers.

The guy in front of him scoffed, yoongi had a weird smile on his face as he looked up from the knife to the men in front of him. I’ve never seen him like that, completely out of it like a beast. The Agust d everyone feared was right there, ready to take down someone.

- you mean to tell me the Agust d almost went down last night? - he looked up to the ceiling, a broken laugh leaving his lips but he stopped as more blood came form his throat. - if I knew I’d end up like this… maybe I should’ve exposed your business with at Busan. That Namjoon guy was quicker then I thought.

At the mention of Namjoon my eyes instantly went to the guy. So that’s how he managed to get the information, he’s the one Namjoon mentioned to me before that’s how he was able to set the trap for Yoongi last night. No wonder he didn’t wanted to wait before coming here and get him himself, the guy could leave even more info about him to Namjoon at any moment who knows what he might already have leaked to him, the only thing that still didn’t made sense to me was why would he be so stupid to even try to betray Yoongi like that? Nothing ever seemed to pass by Yoongi that he didn’t already know so why even bother to try?

I was sure that even if I didn’t have appeared last night and shoot that guy, he would still managed to find a way out of that Yoongi wasn’t alone that night he had Jack, who seemed way to calm for someone who knew that was a trap. I was the one going out of my own way and making a scene.

- I’ll die anyway tonight, you must be wanting to know what I told them - he chuckled - find out by yourself Agust d.

There was a cold feeling lingering around the room, a smoke invisible but very present. What ever that guy have against Yoongi he already shared with Namjoon. Things can only get more messy from now, Namjoon will never stop until he gets Agust d head in a silver tray.

My eyes darted to Jack, he had a clenched jaw as he stared at the man tied up. Hand rest over the pistol on his back ready to end him for his boss if needed, the smoke lingering around was ruthless death was definitely around here now.

Yoongi sat there expressionless although, I didn’t know if he was pissed at all of this or already had everything figured it out. The mention of a that S guy certenly brought some reactions, the more time I spend with in here the more mysterious people I find out who are participating in this game, Yoongi didn’t seemed to like the mention of that supposed business he had in Busan made him look even more harsh a stone cold gaze in his eyes that burned over the guy in front of him, I notice how Jimin and Jack shared a look in that moment Busan was mentioned. So Jimin is more involved with Yoongi then I tought if he knows such thing, it made me even more curious.

- tell me Agust… was your new bodyguard who saved your ass last night? - Han seo leaned closer to Yoongi as he said that, a smile filled with secrets as he looked at Yoongi before turning to me - the cop Namjoon told me about you.

At that I unconsciously took a step closer immediately being held back by Jimin, what in the world was Namjoon blabbing about me to that guy?

- he’s up your ass pretty lady - he said leaning back against the chair - I wonder what he’ll do to you once he finds out about your late night job with his enemy.

Jack once again gave him another punch in the jaw making the guy spat more blood on the floor.

- well I didn’t come here to chat - Yoongi said, getting up from the chair - I don’t need to find anything out anyways, I know everything already.

Even his movements were enough to send chills down my whole body, every cell on my skin knew what was going to unfold right now but still, I could believe even now right under my eyes as he carefully walked over to the men tied up.

Why did I have to come here too?

- of course you do… - Han seo said, coughing more blood as he turned back to me - at least I’ll die looking at a beautiful woman.

+++

In a second Yoongi flashed the knife at the men’s right eye, a gasp leaving my lips as I watched him grabbing the man’s jaw who screamed in pain, Yoongi took the knife out of his eye making more blood splash everywhere at the motion. The man screamed out once again from the pain as Yoongin didn’t stop there and flashed the knife at the men again.

I turned back not being able to look at it any longer, I knew what would happen next but I just couldn’t look at it. The sound the men was making were horrible as well as the strong smell of iron filling the entire room, it didn’t stop.

I felt two hands closed over my body and immediately froze on the spot but soon calmed down once I notice it was Jimin who held me against his chest, not to look at the torture.

I could still hear the sound of the men’s groaning in pain, as well as the knife slicing against him again and again. Yoongis hard breathing as he kept going non stop, I tried to cover my ears and block the noise but nothing helped he just kept screaming until no sound was heard anymore only the blade falling on the floor echoing through the room.

+++

- you two know what to do - was Jack who said the order.

After that Jimin held me against him more tightly as he made his way out of the room with me, I didn’t move an inch away from him until I could finally heard the music form the second floor and and my lungs were filled with the smell of alcohol and cigarettes, slowly I leaned back from Jimin as my vision was finally meet with the long dark corridor of the third floor.

My stomach kept doing flips, the sandwich I had earlier was trying to come out the disgusting smell of blood still all over my nostrils.

I embraced Jimin tighter my only attempt into sinking into his Chanel perfume, trying my best to forget that disgusting smell of iron.

- let’s go seems like you need a drink - Jimin said over my ear. I only nooded against him.

With that he walked me out of the thrid floor and I kept myself glued to his body, I needed anything to get out of that murder scene.

Jimin brought me back to the bar we were sat before, I sat over the bar stool as he stood there beside me asking for a drink to the bartender who immediately got his order and began to make the drink.

In that moment I simply couldn’t make any thoughts, my mind felt completely blank. Suddenly a wave of cold air hitting my entire body making me hug myself in search of warmth, i knew exactly what was going to happens yet I couldn’t control my feelings about it.

This was his world. This is Yoongis world. I definitely was not ready for it.

- will you be okay? - Jimin said, pushing my hair behind my ear - you look a little pale.

- I don’t like seeing blood… - I tell him, still feeling my stomach ache.

- oh, then you’re in the wrong place - he said, eyes shining under the blue and purple lights over our heads a small smile making way over his lips.

He’s right.

I’m at the wrong place. I should’ve been at home now, making dinner for me and my brother, cleaning my clothes to work tomorrow at the station. Setting up my alarm for 5am. Not here.

Not at his world but mine but I have up that world the day I decided to take him down and this is what happens to any one who ties that.

At least it wasn’t me in that chair. I tried with every cell in my body to think that guy deserved that, he was just a criminal after all I shouldn’t feel bad about that. It was all bound to happen since he choose to join hands with the police.

I just wanted to forget everything, like the coward I was whenever things got dirty.

Looking up to find Jimins dark eyes shining under those colorful lights, I wondered what in the hell was going on his mind when he let me inside that night.

- the first time I came here… - I began - why did you help me get inside? I’m sure you wouldn’t let just anyone in knowing how important the people here are.

- to be honest… - he said - I thought you looked hot, riding that motorcycle and if you happened to be trouble I would just… you know.

- oh… of course - I cleared my throat - so you liked me because I ride?

- no… - he chuckled - gosh do you really not know how sexy you look? After I saw tonight I don’t think I can’t just forget you yn. You’re my type.

If nothing had happened just a few minutes ago, I would have believed him. Deep down I know he was just trying to make me forget about what just happened, filling me with compliments and smiling at me like nothing else matter.

- your type…

- I mean I would try to kill you if turned out to be trouble that night - he said, fingers brushing my cheek softly - but I was sure I would be the one in trouble if I did so that’s what I like that about you.

- well I’m a…- I immediately stopped myself realizing I almost told him I was a police intern, sighting I corrected my self quickly - I’m in the Agust D mafia.

- you’re not one of them y/n - Jimin said, his hand resting over mine the smile quickly fading from his lips replaced by a look a knew very well - you should leave this before is too late, save yourself y/n you weren’t made for this world.

My eyes were burning as I looked into his, that face I knew so well was the same I saw on peoples faces at after my parents death, in that exact second I realized what he meant I felt that chill run down my spine the moment his eyes locked with mine, he knew. He knew everything about me being a police intern an yet still helped me.

- here is your drink - the bartender interrupted.

I didn’t think twice before getting the cup with a red liquid, drinking it all in one gulp. I felt like I could cry at any moment and I didn’t wanted that to happen. How weak of me. This is what I wanted my whole life, to be taken serious and get the real job done.

Now that I’m watching everything from so close, i couldn’t help but feel this overwhelming anguish over me, I couldn’t let myself go down so easily though. I can’t back down anyways, I had so much to lose if I did so not matter what anyone says I’m the only one who can do this, it doesn’t matter what Namjoon thinks about me. I won’t let Jack kill me or my brother, I’ll pay for his debt with my dirty work. Whatever happens in the future I’ll deal with it when it comes.

I felt so tired of people getting in the way of my choices, I’m the one who made this mess. I’m done trying to come clean with all this situation, I have a reason for this and my choices were not made recklessly.

The perception I needed from all of this finally seemed to make sense to me.

- I can’t leave, I have to pay a debit - I tell him, feeling bitter as I tried to smile at him.

Turning my eyes away from his to the now empty cup in my hand, the taste of alcohol burning my throat. I heard him sight before he turned me to look at him again.

- don’t let your guard down then y/n - he said, letting go of my hand. I notice his eyes looked at something behind me. - your boss is here.

I didn’t look behind to know he meant Yoongi but, I didn’t dare to look at him I could bearly move an inch without thinking about what he just did, I still couldn’t make out what to even think about it. Before I could even get down from the stool he was right there beside me, one hand quickly sliding over my back just like he did before. Turning slightly towards him o notice he changed clothes too he didn’t wore the white shirt anymore but a black one, no sign of blood on him nothing he was all clean again, smelling he’s usual minty perfume.

He looked up at Jimin giving him a nod witch Jimin replied with the same action before making his way out, I feel Yoongi sliding his fingers over my chin to look up at him.

Tracing every centimeter of his features with my eyes, searching for any signs of a murder on him I find none. Just the usual scar face I was used too, the smirk dancing over his lips like always he caressed my cheek before holding me against him as we walk out of there, making our way to the first floor.

- you’re friend came here before us - he suddenly mentioned.

Friend?

- what do you mean? - I asked him.

- the detective… Was it Namjoon his name? - as the words left his lips my body went immediately cold.

Namjoon were here? How could he? It just didn’t make any sense unless he used Han seo to get in here I couldn’t think of any way.

- that guy you…. - I paused immediately, still feeling uncomfortable at the thought - Han seo was the one giving info to the police?

- yes, but he didn’t do it alone - he said as we walked to the exit of the building - he was simply a pawn being used to get to me by someone else.

- that Chris guy?

- you’re getting the hang of it already… - he praised, smirk over his lips as he held me by the side closer.

I only gulped down. Strangely enough being complimented by Yoongi always felt like a tease as he always made it sound like that, an air of “oh so are you really?” Always coming from him deep down.

A dark cloud seemed to close around us both as we exit the building.

- how far will you go to pay for your brothers debt? - he asked over my ear, his voice sounding much deeper now.

I felt my whole body tremble, warning signs shooting from every direction as his words sink down on my mind.

We soon walked out of the building, the cold air hitting me in the face was like a bucket of water waking me up completely form my fuzzy mind.

His offering felt uncanny, something seemed to have hanged in his demeanor as he spilled the words. Why would he say that now out of every moment?

- whatever it takes to save him - I tell him, already regretting my honesty - name your price.

Holding my chin up he urned my face to the side guiding my eyes on the target standing ahead us, I spotted the figure of the Chris guy from earlier and he seemed to be talking with someone on the phone with a few bodyguards around him as one held the door for a black Mercedes opened for him.

No wonder Yoongi would want that guy out too, it was clear that men was working against Yoongi and from what i could tell hes the one who’s been helping Namjoon to get him. He must think that by working with him hell be able to take Yoongi down and claim his empire all to himself.

I turned back to yoongi his eyes held a cold light over them as he locked them over mine his signature smirk already forming over his lips like usual, the scar looked seemed more darker this time. Something about him had changed completely ever since we step foot in Paradise tonight and I wondered if he had this all planed even fore we leave the mansion.

- kill him and your brother will be free.

I felt all the air from my lungs leave me completely, feeling helpless under his eyes. He had this all set up from the beginning, I could tell just by the look in his eyes. This was the test he had set up for me not finding Han seo but actually killing Chris, the real culprit. The one behind Namjoons entrance at Paradise and leak of informations about Agust d.

The price for my brothers freedom was just a few feet away from me.

I didn’t know when it came to this, when everything turned so fuzzy like a dream. When my hand slided over Yoongis shoulder towards his hip we’re I knew from the beginning he had his silver pistol, when my fingers closed around the cold metal as we walked out of Paradise. When I stoped in front of the black Mercedes, my mind was completely clouded like my body wasn’t mine anymore.

The blonde, Chris turned back to us eyes looking over at Yoongi behind me in desperation as he soon realized what situation he was in, He immediately turned the phone call off. Looking at the man in front of me up and down, balancing my options. If he was gone then my brother will be free.

I tried my best to think he was the bad guy. He is a criminal. He hurts people. So why is so hard to do this? His life does not worth more then my brothers.

Not thinking more I aimed at him shooting at his leg, watching as he immediately fell into his knees. A painful groan leaving his mouth as he looked up in fear. Screaming in pain his body guards did nothing as more of a Yoongis men closed around us there.

The sudden sound grabbed the attention of the people outside, some gasps feeling the air as more and more people watched us from afar.

- Agust please! Why are you doing this! - he groaned out, holding his leg were i just shoot him.

Some shocked breaths were heard in the back as well as steps behind me, I didn’t need to look to know it was him. A feeling of deja vu suddenly creeping into my body as a shiver as well with the cold wind blowing over my face.

- you seemed to have forgotten why you shouldn’t mess with me - Yoongi said, walking closer until he was right beside me.

He chuckled before holding the pistol against my hand, his body completely pressed over mine one hand losing around my waist I felt his cold breath hitting my cheeks as he slowly closed his finger over the trigger.

- who ever messes with Agust d…. - he said, turning slightly towards my face I looked up at him the smirk still dancing over his features. I could see flames in his eyes as he spoke the last words - will die…

Bang.

I didn’t look.

He held my hand firmly with the pistol. Eyes now locked with mine.

Bang.

Bang.

[…]

Notes; Things should end how hey started right? I’m so sorry guys it took me so long to updated the story for you all, ive been working my ass off to get it perfectly so you guys can have a great time enjoying this chapter. I would also like to inform that it will take a while until the next chapter of Set Met Free since ill be focusing on Crazy Over you until is finish. Ill try me best to get it done soon. Love you all, thank yo for all your support always. THIS IS NOT A GOODBYE LOLOL. I’m staying until i finish them all!!

Tag list; @catlove83 @passionandsuga @agustdwifey @crystallizedtime @cuntessaiii @rosquilleta @nochook @fatmaortiz @wobblewobble822 @mygdday @sazsazsaz @coralmusicblaze @missmin @whipwhoops @glosstwn @i-have-no-life-charlie @kooslilhoe @tarahardcore @manuosorio @thvlover @4ukiyo4 @missroro @btspurplesky @i-am-invisible-for-you @celticcountrygal @fairywriter-oracle @m4gg13-g @unadulteratedlyunique @anaspectoflife @younhakim29 @slinekyu @nochookiee @strxwbloody @yoongislatinagff @pandafuriosa60 @kimsonlyluv @be0mluver @sukonsukuna @amariemoore @starrlo0ver @effielumiere @lovelgirl22 @baechugff @sassyfoxunknown @poochieshooky @seonghwaexile @oldymoody @xyahrinx

[theharrowing]

Collateral 🗡️ 20: Trapped in limbo

Your ex-boyfriend gets in over his head working for the local mafia, and Boss Min has come to collect his payment: You.

But was it simply a matter of being in the wrong place at the wrong time? Or has he always had his sights on you?

PREVIOUS | INDEX | NEXT

🗡️ Yoongi x Female Reader x Namjoon, Jungkook x Female Reader, Jungkook x Taehyung

🗡️ word count: 22.8k

🗡️ mafia au, strangers to lovers, graphic violence, major character injury, poly, smut, angst, fluff, nsfw, explicit 21+ 

🗡️ warnings: lots and lots of crying; grief; medical stuff i am only pretending to understand; hidden doors; anxiety, panic, fainting, & PTSD; mention of past abuse; dream gore that borders on romantic; graphic & violent nightmares; recreational drinking & drug use (mdma, cocaine, weed); miscommunication & lack of communication due to emotional distress; smut (oral and vaginal sex; not quite somnophilia but almost; orgasm denial thanks to medication; sex while on drugs; fingering; use of restraints; a hint of booty play; cum swallowing); every smut scene is a fucking mess.

🗡️ note: grief is a deep sorrow that we experience for so many more reasons than when someone passes away. sometimes we grieve people who are still with us. other times, we grieve a relationship before it has come to an end. this chapter, and every remaining chapter of Collateral, is going to deal a lot with grief. this chapter was tough to write, and then i couldn't stop. all it was meant to be was a handful of scenes with heavy dialogue interspersed with anxiety and adjusting to medication and messy smut, and somehow we reached that bonkers word count. i didn't once stray from the outline, i am just incapable of being brief, these days. anyway, there will be some time skips/blurs because of the medication, and between one and a half and two weeks pass.

🗡️ beta read by @neoneunnajimin!

🗡️ posted on sept. 2023 | read on ao3

It is unclear what time you hear a knock at the door. You are unsure where your purse ended up in last night's scuffle, the hints of sun that would be visible are blocked by deep burgundy curtains, and your vision is so blurry from exhaustion and tears, that it is hard to parse whether or not there is a clock amongst all the strange antique furnishings of Seokjin and Hoseok's living room. 

The sound of footsteps scampering behind the couch, presumably from the kitchen, surprises you, and you wonder whether you truly have been awake this entire time, or somewhere in an in-between of consciousness and unconsciousness. 

Voices chatter low and hurried, and then a figure rushes over and sits at your side. It takes two heavy blinks to realize that the man settling in beside you is Taehyung dressed dapperly in all black, and when you cock your head to the right in question, his plastered smile falls into a frown.

"I'm so sorry about everything that happened," Taehyung begins. You want to shake your head and tell him that it is not his fault, but all you can bring yourself to do is stare and blink. "Let me start off by saying everyone is alive."

"Everyone," you mumble quietly, feeling a wave of relief wash over you. With a heavy exhale, you attempt to smile. 

"Jimin was shot in the shoulder, and it was the impact of hitting the ground that knocked him out. Although he has not suffered too much blood loss, and his vitals are stable, he has not woken up, and I am unsure when we can expect him to, but there does not appear to be any brain damage."

These are a lot of words—too many words, in fact, for you to follow along with, and you simply nod. All you hold onto is the fact that Jimin is alive; for now, that is enough. 

"Yoongi," you mutter, elongating the vowels. Once more, Taehyung frowns.

"Yoongi has a gash across his eye, starting above the brow and extending to the apple of his cheek." As Taehyung describes the wound, your heart pounds, and nausea fills your insides. He continues, "But, luckily, his eyeball is intact and unharmed. There does not appear to be any vision impairment."

"How…" you begin, brow and lips falling into a frown, but the words die on your tongue. 

Taehyung says your first name, low and slow, like someone gently regarding a child. Hearing your name spoken aloud, rather than a nickname, causes the hairs on your arms to stand, and you swallow a lump of worry. 

"What do you remember, after Jimin was shot?"

You search Taehyung's face while the events return in fragments. Once Jimin fell, you reacted by shooting his assailant multiple times. At the time, you were worried—in fact, convinced—that Jimin was dead, and all you could feel in that moment was rage. Once your bullets ran out, you wanted to bash the man's face in, but you were held back. Then you took out your knife, which was pulled away from you. 

"I emptied my clip but it wasn’t enough. I wanted to stab him," you say. "The man, I mean. But my knife was taken away."

Taehyung leans close and reaches for both of your clammy hands, holding firmly while rubbing the pads of his thumbs over your knuckles as he speaks very softly. "When Namjoon attempted to pull your knife away, Yoongi was—" Taehyung sighs, "—he was standing too close. You and Namjoon both yanked at your arm, and in that motion, the tip of the blade sliced his face."

It takes several tense, quiet moments before anything Taehyung says fully computes. You stare at him, searching his face while the synapses fire inside your brain in an attempt to communicate what you see, feel, and hear. And then, like a thin layer of dust settling over all it can touch, the information begins to trickle down and shroud you.

"I…" you mutter, feeling tears well and fall. You have cried so much that you neither sniffle nor tremble as your cheeks grow wetter and wetter. And then, you say it. "I cut Yoongi."

"It was an accident," Taehyung is quick to add, and you rip your hands from his grasp and ball them in front of your face, feeling your chest tighten and tighten, squeezing the air out. 

This cannot be. You cannot be responsible for injuring Yoongi. How will you ever face him again, knowing what you have done?

"I'm dreaming," you mutter, suddenly feeling hysterical. Laughter works through your chest just as quickly as panic rises, and you shake your head, unable to control your emotions. "This is just a bad dream. There's no way—"

"Would you like to see him?" Taehyung asks, snapping you back to reality. 

With a sniffle, you shake your head, horrified at the prospect of facing Yoongi after what you have done. 

"How could I?" you mutter uselessly into your balled fists. "How could I face him? How could he ever look at me again?"

Again, Taehyung says your first name as he gently reaches for your hands and attempts to remove them from in front of your face. You allow him to, sighing as they fall into your lap. "It was an accident. He does not blame you. None of us do."

But you know that at least one of them does. "Jeongguk," you mutter, remembering his snarl as he told you, You've done enough.

With a sigh, Taehyung shakes his head. "Jeongguk was just scared. He was angry in the moment, but he does not hold it against you."

With a scoff, you shake your head in return; there is no way Jeongguk would forgive you so easily. It took months to get on his good side and only seconds for him to turn on you. Your voice is weak and soft as you rasp, "I doubt it."

"Come with me to the mansion," Taehyung says, sitting up and scooting a fraction of an inch closer. "Yoongi and Namjoon want to see you, and our family psychiatrist Christopher is on standby, should you need to talk to him."

"What I need is to be sedated," you grumble as you roll your shoulders and squeeze your eyes momentarily shut. "I couldn't sleep. Just kept seeing the man's head explode—the man Hoseok shot."

Taehyung's lips twitch upward as he says, "We can figure something out."

Looking down at yourself, you see Hoseok's black pajamas and sigh. "I'm keeping these," you say, resolved not to change into your dress again. 

"They're yours," Taehyung responds with a soft laugh, glancing over your shoulder for a brief moment. You wonder whether Seokjin or Hoseok are standing back there, but you also don't care enough to turn. 

"Alright," you concede with a huff and sit forward, stretching your back and letting out a deep, low yawn. "We can return to the mansion, but I'm not…I don't know how much I will be able to talk. I'm so fucking tired."

Taehyung smiles, but it does not reach his eyes. It is the smile of someone who is exhausted but pleased with the way things are going in the present moment; the smile of someone glad he does not need to convince you any further to go home. "Christopher can recommend something for you to take, and we can get you straight into bed, if you prefer."

"My purse," you grumble, looking around. 

"It was in my vehicle," Taehyung says. "I gave it to Namjoon for safekeeping."

With another nod, you shift, sitting forward, then you stretch your legs from where they had been bunched and pretzled beneath you. As you stand from the couch and stretch again—this time extending all your limbs, twisting your back, breathing deeply—it hits you that you are returning home, and anxiety swells. 

But you know that there is no way you can stay away from home. No matter how badly Yoongi has been injured, and how guilty you feel about what has happened, you need to face it. You need to return to your home, to your bed, to your men. 

"Ready?" Taehyung asks softly, rounding the couch toward the front door. 

Only then do you turn to your left and find Hoseok leaning against the banister at the bottom landing of the stairs, barely out of view from where you had been sitting. Although he smiles, it is a sad expression, and he watches you silently. 

"I'm ready," you respond, gaze lingering on Hoseok before dropping to the floor. 

Your limbs are heavy as you shuffle toward the door. On the arm of the couch, your black dress is folded neatly, and you take it in your hands, rubbing your fingers over the soft satin material. 

"Thanks for the pajamas," you say softly with a hint of a smile, doing your best at humor despite feeling lower than you think you have ever felt. 

Hoseok smiles when you glance back up and catch his eye, responding, "My pleasure. I hope the garments treat you well."

This makes you laugh, but it also forces more tears to work their way out with a soft sob and a sniffle. With an arm gently wrapped around your lower back, Taehyung guides you to the entrance, where you slip on your ballet flats, and head out the door. 

The sun is high and bright, signaling late morning, and you squint and lift your hand to block the light. To your surprise, parked beside a large black sedan is a little white golf cart, and Taehyung steers you toward it. 

"Sick ride," you grumble with an attempted grin. 

Taehyung's hand drops away as you lean forward and step into the cart, taking a seat on the little white plastic bench. It only takes a moment for Taehyung to round the front and enter, and then you are off, making your way from Hoseok's home down a short gravel and dirt road tucked away in some trees, to Yoongi's mansion. 

The driveway is packed with vehicles, making you substantially more nervous than you already had been, and you swallow thickly while attempting to steady your breathing. Rather than driving to the front door, Taehyung takes an immediate right and stops the cart on the side of the mansion. From here, there are no clear paths to the gardens or the pool, and you are confused when Taehyung gets out of the vehicle and begins to walk toward where there is a shrub wall that intersects with the side of the mansion.

It takes a moment to process the fact that you are in charge of manually moving your limbs, and with a sigh, you step out of the cart, hugging your black satin dress tight to your chest. Taehyung walks to the intersection of shrubbery and building, and then he reaches into the greenery at chest height before pushing a section of it open and revealing a hidden door. 

"I bet you have no idea how many secrets this place holds," he says with a grin, and you shake your head before scurrying after him, through the shrub-covered door. 

A narrow path between shrub wall and dark brown wood greets you, and Taehyung walks toward the back, to where a door can be found against the side of the house. He punches in a code, leans forward to scan his retina, and then twists a knob, gaining entrance. 

"Yoongi is currently meeting with the security team and some others, hence all the vehicles," Taehyung says as he holds the door open for you to enter. "They should be finished soon."

As you step inside, you are greeted by a set of stairs that travel down under the mansion. Although there is a light that Taehyung switches on, and the steps are carpeted in a welcoming royal blue, there is something so foreboding about a surprise set of stairs leading down into the earth.

"Where are we?" you ask as Taehyung closes the door tightly behind you and begins to descend on your right. You do your best to keep up, loosely holding onto a wooden railing on your left while your other hand grips your satin dress close to your chest. 

"Beside the kitchen," Taehyung responds. "Between the kitchen and living room, to be exact." 

Once you reach the basement level, Taehyung flips on another switch and turns off the stairwell light behind you. There is an large room carpeted and furnished in blues, blacks, and tans, and you are surprised as you look around at the space. It smells somewhat musty, and you wonder when the last time anyone actually came down here may have been. 

"We don't use this space anymore," Taehyung says as if reading your mind. "But when Yoongi's parents were still alive, this was where he would spend a lot of his time."

You hum and nod, glancing around further. Along a back wall is a wooden bar, now empty, but you imagine it stocked with bottles of whatever liquors a younger version of Yoongi may have liked. There are also recreational table games on the far end that look unfamiliar, as well as a pool table. A dartboard and pool cues share the same wall with the bar top, and you try to imagine Yoongi and Namjoon, and probably also Ryujin, spending their evenings down here as teenagers. 

"Our group used to come down here to party and debrief in the early days," Taehyung adds as you continue to walk through the space toward a door along the wall ahead. "But that was before Yoongi owned hotels, casinos, nightclubs, and all that."

"Oh," you mutter, trying to imagine a Yoongi who did not own half of Seoul. You wonder how much of his empire he inherited from his father versus how much of it he built himself. 

You almost feel remorse over never knowing that side of Yoongi—a younger man who was not so tied down to his duties as a mafia king. But then you remember the scars along his sides, chest, and stomach, and you wonder whether there was ever a carefree man in Yoongi's skin. 

"Just a little further," Taehyung says, holding his hand up toward the door at the far end. 

"Where does this lead to?" you ask. 

"We are going to go up one more set of steps and end up on the other end of the hall, " Taehyung explains, voice soft, deep, and measured. "From there, we will tip-toe up the stairs and wait for Yoongi and Namjoon. Although this is the scenic route, I thought having to walk through the front door might be too stressful for you. I also thought it would be in your best interest to become well acquainted with these more hidden parts of the home."

This gives you pause, and you stumble on your next step ever so slightly, catching the toe of your right ballet flat against the soft carpet beneath. "Oh?"

With a soft sigh, Taehyung stops and turns to you, and you halt, doing the same. 

"Just in case," he says, regarding you with a hint of a frown. "I don't want to worry you or anything…but I feel like these are secrets you should know because, well, you never know."

The two of you stand facing one another for several quiet seconds, and then you nod and heavy-blink, turning your attention back toward the door. Everything feels so ominous, even simple gestures of kindness, and you attempt to swallow down the fact that this is your reality. 

"Thank you," you mutter quietly, clearing your throat to speak more clearly as you glance at Taehyung once again. "I appreciate it."

Taehyung cracks a smile, then holds his hand out to the door, sing-songing a corny, "Ladies first," and you chuckle, hesitating before reaching for the knob and turning it. It opens to another dark stairwell, and Taehyung steps forward and rubs along the wall before light illuminates the narrow space. You note that the light switches seem to be along the same wall on both ends of the room, just in case the information may one day come in handy.

As you begin to ascend, Taehyung closes the door behind you and steps in line to your right. You make your way further up, closer to your destination, and your heart begins to pound. Faced with the opportunity of seeing Yoongi and Namjoon again has you feeling so many ways, and they all swirl uncomfortably in your gut. You know they are likely not angry with you…but what if they are?

Rather than go straight up, this stairwell stops halfway and curves around, much like a standard building stairwell, only carpeted. At the top of the stairs, Taehyung reaches in front of you and very gently, slowly pulls on a large metal handle. 

He opens the door just as slowly, and you realize that he must be attempting to be as silent as possible. Although you are unable to detect any sound coming from whoever must be meeting in the main hall, you are surprised that Taehyung is going to such great lengths to be silent. 

Or maybe, you consider, he is not doing this because he feels you need to be silent in this moment. Maybe Taehyung is doing this to show you just how silent this door is so that you can store the information for later. Although you certainly feel paranoid for considering the notion, it does make sense that he would both reveal a somewhat secret passage to you and showcase just how secret it may be. 

And you nearly question how secretive a door presumably at the end of a hallway could possibly be, until you step out into a room that is certainly not the hallway, and Taehyung closes a panel of wall that does not look at all like a door. His fingers pass over a section along the very well-concealed crack about chest height and press in. Silently, the door unlatches and pushes forward, and you watch with your mouth hanging agape as he demonstrates opening and closing it. 

The dining room you stand in is the larger of the two. During your tour with Felix and Changbin all that time ago, you never came to this room. It was simply described as the much larger one at the end of the hall.

The scale of this room is rather enormous. It appears as if more than twenty people could sit around the long dark wood table, and the décor is very similar to the smaller room—brown leather-topped chairs with intricately carved patterns, dark wood wainscoting and blood-red wallpaper, with brass sconces and crystal chandeliers. 

You stand in the far corner along the wall containing the entrance, which is mid-way through the room, to the right. The door hangs open, and now you can hear the faint voices of men coming from down the hallway. As you step out, you realize you are at the very end of the hall. Ordinarily, this door is closed, and it is one you had never considered going into, before. 

"Come, now," Taehyung says quietly, toeing out of his shoes and bending to pick them up. 

You do the same and scurry ahead as he begins to make his way toward the large stairwell ahead and to the right. Now that you are in a part of the mansion that feels like home, your nervousness turns to nausea. 

Taehyung is no longer attempting to be silent, and he walks ahead, seemingly blocking you from the view of others as he waves to the men from over the banister of the stairwell and then straightens out. You have no desire to be perceived in any way just yet, so you prance up to the landing on your tiptoes. Listen as you try, you do not hear a familiar voice speaking. 

"Should I join you for the time being?" Taehyung asks as you reach the top, and you turn toward the master suite, swallowing thickly. 

"Yes, please," you mutter, somewhat embarrassed by how small you sound.

A warm, gentle hand rubs over the small of your back, and it is all the encouragement you need to continue forward. Although you cannot confidently guess how the others must feel about you at the present moment, you are at least grateful to have an ally in Taehyung. 

The two of you drop your shoes outside the bedroom door, and you walk ahead into the space that you have come to know as your haven. Floral and musk are light in the air, but you can only detect traces of Yoongi and Namjoon lingering. 

Taehyung walks ahead, straight to the sofa, and he reaches for the remote. It is so casual and domestic that when he turns to you with a soft smile and pats the cushion beside him, a wide, happy grin tugs at the ends of your lips. 

"I heard you like Ghibli films," Taehyung says as you walk over, and as soon as you plop down to his left, he swings his legs up onto the cushion and leans ever so slightly closer. His scent is subdued, but it is the spicy, earthy blend you remember from the night he carried you close to his chest.

"I do," you respond, staring ahead at the black screen of the television while attempting to get your bearings.

"Which have you seen, so far?"

You think back to the private jets, to Yoongi and Namjoon, and also to Jimin. Your lips fall to a frown before you school your expression and wet your lips. 

“Howl's Moving Castle and Spirited Away,” you respond. “And part of Princess Mononoke, but we fell asleep.”

Taehyung shifts beside you excitedly, lifting the remote and clicking through menus as he says, “Princess Mononoke is my favorite.”

This calm, gentle side of Taehyung might just be your favorite. While snarky Taehyung has been entertaining and quite suggestive, mafia Taehyung has been deadly and protective, and doctor Taehyung has been an actual savior to the family and to you so many times, this Taehyung is patient and considerate. This is the same Taehyung who held you gently in his arms to take you to a bath and to check in to make sure you still felt comfortable and safe with everything that had transpired in his sex room. This Taehyung feels like a friend.

"How long will they all be meeting?" you blurt as Taehyung finds the title and presses play. 

He shifts forward to set the remote onto the table and then sits back, placing his hand upright and wiggling his fingers. You take the invitation and slowly lower your hand into his, which he gently caresses with his fingertips. A voiceover introduces the film, but Taehyung does not seem to care about pausing or lowering the volume. 

"Hard to say," he responds softly, eyes on the foggy opening scene. "When I came to get you, they were still pretty deep into their conversation. Things like this can sometimes take all day."

"All day," you mutter unhappily under your breath. Sure, you may worry about seeing Yoongi and Namjoon, but not seeing them fills you with the same amount of angst. 

Taehyung sighs, and rather than continue delicately playing with your hand, he grabs it and twines his fingers between yours. The gesture makes you frown despite how warm your chest becomes. 

“I can’t imagine how you must be feeling,” he says, eyes still on the screen but inattentive. Perhaps this is his way of consoling someone; perhaps, for once, direct eye contact is too much for him. 

You scoff slightly and shrug, looking down at your hands. “I’m not really sure how I’m feeling,” you admit. 

Taehyung shifts beside you, and you turn to look at him. His eyes are wide and caring, and they peer straight into your heart. All at once, you feel shy, and you rip your gaze away, to the wall just below the television as you realize he was likely not avoiding eye contact for his sake but for yours. 

“Do you want to talk about it?” he asks quietly, filling you to the brim with sadness. 

You heavy-blink and attempt not to cry, muttering, “I injured someone I love. What’s there to talk about?”

Taehyung is quick to say, "It was an accident," but not in a way that is placating or defensive. 

"Accident or not," you begin, eyes falling to your entwined hands as you imagine all the ways in which you have caused Yoongi harm with one simple accident. With a sigh, you continue, feeling the tremble that works its way through your words. "What if I had blinded him? Or cut him somewhere life-threatening? I could have caused so much harm, I could have—"

"But you didn't," Taehyung interrupts insistently. "You did none of those things. And dwelling on all the what-ifs is not going to do you any good."

Taehyung is correct, and you are thankful for his calm, assuring presence. "I know," you utter, defeated. 

Sure, it does no good to dwell on all the possibilities, but knowing that does not make it any easier not to. 

"You've been through a lot in these past couple of months," Taehyung speaks over the movie, eyes once again watching as characters move across the screen. You see light, movement, and color, but you do not fully register anything taking place. You are not sure you could if you tried. 

As Taehyung's words settle over you, you scoff, muttering, "That's a fucking understatement."

To your surprise, Taehyung chuckles softly. Barely any sound emits, but you can feel the rise and fall of his shoulders beside you. Although levity is nice, you cannot ignore the glaring truth. 

"Is it always this way?" you ask. 

This is not the first time you have asked a question like this, but you feel the need to, anyway. And when silence hangs between the two of you, speaking volumes louder than anything Taehyung could offer, unease settles deep. 

With a sigh, you close your eyes, feeling tears build. And when you admit aloud, "I'm not sure how much longer I can do this," you feel the grip on your hand loosen and then tighten.

"Do what?" Taehyung asks, although you cannot imagine he requires prompting; Taehyung knows damn well what about this situation you cannot withstand. He has been present for each moment during which your foundation has been forced to crack little by little. 

"All of this," you respond through another sigh. You pull your hand away from Taehyung's and lift your feet to the cushion, wrapping your arms around your shins and resting your forehead in the valley between your knees. 

"I love Yoongi," you mutter into the small space that warms with each of your exhales. "And Namjoon, and to an extent, all of you. But this lifestyle is killing me, and I can't take it anymore."

"Killing you?" Taehyung asks somewhat teasingly, making you crack a smile over your dramatics. 

You lift your head just enough to turn and face him, returning his fond smile with a weak one. "Emotionally, yes. I feel like I am dying."

Taehyung's smile only dips some, but his eyes remain just as bright. "Trauma tends to make us feel heavy or a little numb, but it will all pass."

"I don't want that," you bite back, feeling a burst of annoyance. "I just want to live a normal fucking life. How hard is that?"

This time, when Taehyung laughs, the sound is deep, playful, and perhaps a little mocking. "What the fuck is a normal life?" he asks, sounding just a bit defensive. 

"I don't know," you admit. "Something that does not involve gunfire and hard drugs. I can't keep watching men die. And I can't keep watching as my loved one get injured."

Taehyung opens his mouth to speak, but his eyes drift up and widen. His posture shifts, sitting up only slightly taller, and you hesitate before turning, scared of who you might find. 

"Knock, knock," Namjoon calls, and your heart kicks up hard and fast between your ribs. 

All trepidation you may have felt about seeing him melts, and you throw your legs to the floor and stand-spin with such a start it makes you dizzy. Namjoon stands in the doorway with a loving smile, wearing a black tee tucked into black jeans—surprisingly casual, considering he seems to have come from an important meeting. His hands, which are in his front pockets, slide out, and he lifts his arms high, asking without words for a hug. 

You run over on bare feet and hop up, throwing yourself into Namjoon's chest as your arms wrap around his neck. He bends and holds you in a tight, firm hug, groaning softly against your forehead as he squeezes and releases. 

"Moments away from you always feel like a lifetime," Namjoon utters softly, tugging at your heart and ripping the air from your lungs. You wish he wouldn't say shit like this. 

"I missed you too," is all you can bring yourself to say, and as he releases from the hug, you slide your hands to his chest, gently grip at his shirt, and bury your face against him, breathing in his scent and blocking out the rest of the world. 

The way Namjoon rubs his hands over your shoulders and arms, giving gentle squeezes, feels like gestures of impatience and makes you think he would like you to stop this sorry attempt at an embrace, but you hold on tight and close your eyes even tighter, silently insisting on just a little while longer. 

"Are you watching Princess Mononoke?" Namjoon asks over your head, resting his chin against you. 

"Watching is a strong word," Taehyung responds in the teasing tone you have come to expect but have not heard from him yet today. "Doll was mostly sitting here being sulky."

"Wow!" you respond defensively, finally releasing your hold on Namjoon to turn and glare at your so-called friend who stares back with a wide, playful grin. 

Gently, Namjoon places the side of his finger under your chin and motions for you to turn to him. "There you are," he utters sweetly as you meet his gaze.

Your heart sinks as you take in his sweet, welcoming expression. Namjoon, standing here like this, is the epitome of love, and all you can think about is how badly you need to get away from the lifestyle he is a part of before you have to watch another one of your closest friends get shot. 

Namjoon's smile falters, and he cocks his head so slightly, it is hardly a movement. Anguish rises, and you swallow it down, then make your best attempt at a smile. 

"I'm sorry," you utter weakly, nibbling on the inside of your lip as you attempt to sort out what exactly you want to apologize for this time. "I, uh…I don't feel very good. I don't want to…I'm scared to…"

See Yoongi. 

No matter how many ways you attempt to formulate precisely how you feel, there is no way to finish that sentence, and you close your eyes in time for tears to break. 

How many more times are you going to feel hopeless and sad over Yoongi? How many times will Namjoon have to console the two of you? You are certain that the two of them—that everyone in this family—would be better off if you were not here. Clearly, this lifestyle does not affect them the way it does you, and there will only be so much that they will be able to tolerate until you become more of a burden than you are worth. 

"Don't want to, what?" Namjoon asks gently, hands rubbing from the tops of your shoulders down to your elbows and back up. 

"What if he hates me?" you mutter, tears becoming hot streams pouring down your cheeks. 

Namjoon chuckles, and you frown; now is not the time for him to be making fun of you. But his voice is soft and kind as he asks, "Sweetheart, how many times are we going to have to go over this?"

Although you know his question comes with good intentions, it only makes you feel worse. Because yes, indeed, how many times are the three of you going to have to go over this? How many times is Yoongi's lifestyle going to cause crushing grief and sadness? How many fucking times are you going to have to fear facing him? 

It's not fair. None of this is fair. 

"Yoongi is not upset with you, or with me," Namjoon insists. "So we gave him a little cut, so what? He already has plenty of scars."

"That's not—" the point, you fail to say. "I don't want—how can I look at him knowing I've given him a scar?"

Bile rises, and you feel sick. All you can picture is blood seeping from between Yoongi's fingers, blood splattering against concrete, blood staining all of your hopes and dreams a deep, menacing red. 

Taking two steps back and spinning to rejoin Taehyung on the couch, the blood seems to leave your head, causing you to wobble on your feet and crash back against Namjoon. The room is stilted and tilts to a fro, and you swallow a lump, closing your eyes tight while two warm hands steady you by the arms.

"Sweetheart?" Namjoon asks, but his voice is too distant, and although you know that he is directly behind you, holding onto you, you fear that if you responded, he would be too far away to hear you. 

Firmly, Taehyung says your first name, hand holding your jaw at an upward angle while your limbs sink heavily into the couch. When did you approach the couch?

"I'm gonna…" you mutter, mouth dry and full of cotton, body feeling a million miles away from your head as you feel the urge to faint. You attempt to look around, but light and shadow only trail and smudge uselessly. You feel like you are going to be sick, and you squeeze your eyes closed.

When you open your eyes again, you are lying on the couch, on your back. Your lower legs are propped up by pillows, and a violent shiver rocks through you.

"Ah, here you are," Taehyung says, and you turn to find him sitting on the floor beside you. His kind, disarming smile returns as he says, "You fainted, buttercup. How are you feeling?"

Sweat covers you from head to toe, making you cold and clammy and uncomfortable. "Shitty," you reply. 

"Hmm, yes, fainting takes a toll on the entire body. But at least you are shitty and alert." Taehyung holds up three fingers. "How many fingers am I holding up?"

Your voice is rough as you croak, "Three."

"Very good," Taehyung responds, reaching to give your cheek a tiny pinch, which you attempt to flinch away from. 

It occurs to you only now that you neither see nor hear Namjoon. When you look around for him, Taehyung softly clears his throat, pulling your attention back to find him frowning. 

"They left the room."

"They…" you begin, watching as Taehyung tongues the inside of his mouth.

"Namjoon seems to think you don't want to see Yoongi. And Yoongi…well, he's not too pleased."

"Oh."

Taehyung sits up a little higher on his knees, and in a rare moment of uncertainty, he knits his brow. "What I mean to say is, his feelings were hurt. But he isn't angry."

"No, no," you mutter, rolling onto your side and pulling your knees as high as they can go. "I get it."

"The thing is," Taehyung continues, "Yoongi has to leave town for a little while."

At this, you flinch, attempting to quickly sit up. "Wait, where? For how long?"

"He didn't say."

Although you know Yoongi is not present in this room, you look around and ask, "Has he left already?"

Taehyung frowns once more. "I'm not sure, but I don't think so."

Everything is happening too quickly, and you brace yourself to get your bearings and steady your pounding heart as you slowly stand from the couch onto your feet. Taehyung raises and holds his hands out as an offer to assist, should you need it. 

"You good?" he asks, and although you do not feel a modicum of anything you would consider good, you nod and slowly turn toward the door. 

And then you run. Your feet are sweaty and they slide against the floor, but you push forward as hard as you can, ignoring the whorl of nausea in your guts. Once at the door, you shove at it with all your strength, and when it flies open, revealing Yoongi and Namjoon standing close, muttering sweetly, you gasp; you were not expecting to find the two of them this easily. 

Namjoon stands to the left, gently cradling Yoongi's chin with both hands, and Yoongi stares up at him, hands lifted to Namjoon's sides. In contrast to Namjoon's more casual attire, Yoongi is in his usual black button-up and black slacks. 

You mutter, "Yoo—" and halt in place when he turns his attention to you, smile faltering as his one visible eye holds you in its gaze. 

Although Yoongi's hair is down and wild, you can see the black eyepatch covering his other eye. Above the patch are little black stitches that rise up to his forehead, and you worry you might faint once more. 

"Darling," Yoongi says, dropping his arms from Namjoon's sides to fully face you. 

Namjoon's hands only fall to Yoongi's shoulders, and the look he gives you is indiscernible and a little cold. You feel childish and small standing before them in Hoseok's pajamas, which are a little too big.

"I'm sorry," is all you can say as your right leg twitches in an attempt to continue forward, held back by the full-body weight of your fear. 

"I'm so glad you're awake," Yoongi says as he smiles. The ends of his mouth flinch twice, and you wonder just how forced his smile is. "Taehyung said you fainted."

You hum and nod in quick, shallow movements. All you want to do, in this moment, is run. Run toward Yoongi, but also run far, far away, and never look back—run and run until your lungs threaten to explode. But you stand paralyzed in the doorway of Yoongi's bedroom, staring at the two men who seem intent on keeping their distance.

"Where are you going?" you manage to ask, swallowing a ball of saliva and anxiety. 

Yoongi hesitates, and as Namjoon drops his arms from his shoulders, Yoongi straightens his posture and slides his hands into the pockets of his slacks. 

When was the last time Yoongi has held this much distance? When has Yoongi been this reserved and shut away? You regret not wanting to see him before, and now that he is holding so much space between the two of you, you cannot, for the life of you, move your feet forward. 

"I have important business," Yoongi simply says, licking his lips and saying no more. 

"Ah—are you…will you be gone long?" you try, chest trembling and terrified. 

Yoongi merely shrugs. "Hard to say."

"Oh."

Yoongi stares a moment longer, back tall and straight and hands tucked away. The hair on the left side of his face falls slightly over his eye, encasing the eyepatch in a dark shadow, making him appear far more dangerous than he already is. 

And then, as if a switch is flipped, his shoulders relax, his smile softens, and he pulls his hands from his pockets. You let out a deep, shaky exhale and silently beg him to step toward you. 

"I'll miss you," you try, knitting your brows in desperation. 

Yoongi smiles widely and finally takes a step. "I will miss you, as well," he says as he closes the distance, and all at once, your legs turn to gelatin and wobble beneath you before stepping forward. 

You all but throw yourself into Yoongi's embrace, body sagging and crashing into him as he wraps his arms around you, pinning yours uselessly to your sides. Yoongi's musk is strong and overwhelming, and you nuzzle against his chest and neck, breathing deeply enough to choke on it. 

"I'm sorry," you mutter into him, feeling tears well once more. "I'm so sorry, Yoongi."

Yoongi whispers, "Shhh," as his hands rub over your back, and you lift your hands just enough to let your fingers catch at the fabric around his hips. 

"I'm sorry I have to leave so abruptly," Yoongi says, "but the guys here will take good care of you. I shouldn't be long."

"Please be safe," you beg, horrified of what could happen to him while he is away. 

"I have a team coming along to look after me," Yoongi says. "But I can assure you, I will be fine. I can't say much for now, but I will be meeting with the Hong Kong crew, and we will be working on a deal of sorts so that an attack like that will not happen again."

"A deal? In…in Hong Kong?" 

Yoongi releases the hug and takes a small step back, then lifts one hand to the bottom of your chin. Looking up into his one eye makes your heart squeeze, but even with an eyepatch covering the other, he is the prettiest man alive. 

"Please don't beat yourself up with worry while I'm away," he mutters sweetly. "I'm not upset with you. Had I gotten to that man before you, I would have done far worse to him for hurting one of my best friends. And besides," Yoongi chuckles softly, tilting his head to the side, "this is going to make for an amazing story when Jimin wakes up."

"Stop," you grumble, lifting your hands to shove at Yoongi's sides, but not hard enough to make him do more than sway. 

"You are so brave," Yoongi says, smile widening. "You shot that man right between the eyes. And I know it had to have been traumatic and horrendous, but I'm still proud of you."

As it stands, watching the man who hurt Jimin die by your bullet is so low on the list of traumatic events that play through your mind. Perhaps you have compartmentalized the event, and once the dust settles and Jimin wakes back up, you will begin to fully process the weight of the event. Or, perhaps you are already becoming as numb to being a killer as the rest of the family. 

"Did it hurt?" you ask, feeling the urge to lift the patch and see his wound.

Yoongi shrugs. "Nah, my adrenaline was so high, I didn't feel a thing. I had no idea I was cut until the blood began to cloud my vision."

The thought of Yoongi's beautiful face dripping with blood makes your stomach churn, and you mutter, "Oh my god."

"It only hurt a little while Tae was stitching me up."

"Why the eyepatch?" you ask, despite feeling nervous to know the answer. But you were told that Yoongi's vision had not been altered.

"Taehyung felt that the stitches along my eyebrow and lid would heal faster if my eye remained closed as often as possible."

Again, your stomach tosses. Did he say lid? As in his eyelid?

"Oh."

"And it makes me look cool, right?" Yoongi adds, waggling his one good eye, making you laugh despite how sad the entire situation feels. "Don't worry, darling. I couldn't dream of being upset with you two."

You exhale deeply and wrap your arms around Yoongi's ribs, throwing yourself once more into his chest. Yoongi chuckles deeply and drapes his arms over you, cradling your head and shoulder gently in his large, warm, familiar hands. 

"I won't be gone long," Yoongi insists, pressing a kiss against your temple. "But I will miss you deeply while I am away. So please text me as much as you want to, alright?"

"Alright," you respond, feeling tears build once more. Yoongi insists he will return safely but you fear for the worst; how could you not?

"Seokjin and Hoseok will be coming with me, which leaves Namjoon, Taehyung, and Jeongguk here with you. We have shut down Paradise for the time being, and there will be a strong security detail on the property, but don't feel like you have to stay cooped up inside. The streets of Seoul are safe."

"Hmm," you utter, finding it hard to believe him. But you do not press him. Yoongi said he would reveal more about what deal he has struck once he returns home. 

A single-note ringtone chimes loudly, and Yoongi lets out a deep sigh, wrapping his arms tightly around you. 

"That's Seokjin," Namjoon says, and you remember that Namjoon has been standing here the entire time, causing guilt to pang within your guts. 

"Time to go," Yoongi mutters sadly against your temple, attempting to pull from the hug, only for you to squeeze tighter. Yoongi chuckles as he adds, "I'll be home before you know it."

"I miss you," you complain, overwhelmed with sadness. You are so sick and fucking tired of crying, but more than that, you are tired of missing Yoongi.

This time, when Yoongi pulls away, you allow it, tilting your head to slot your lips together. Yoongi holds steady against you, kissing slow and sweet and only skirting his tongue across your bottom lip after several long, warm seconds. You sigh, dropping your mouth open, but Yoongi kisses your temple and backs up further, giving your arms a squeeze before releasing you. 

"I love you, darling," he says, and your heart sinks as you all but whisper, "I love you, too."

Yoongi spins on his feet and takes two steps to Namjoon, giving him a chaste kiss and muttering something deep and indiscernible. Namjoon responds with, "Of course, baby," and then Yoongi leaves, taking the steps two at a time without turning back. 

Something feels off, but you are too exhausted to dwell on it, so you turn your attention to the man who is still around, stepping forward and reaching for him. Only Namjoon takes a step back, halting your movements as he clears his throat and runs a hand through his hair. 

"Sorry," he says, eyes on the floor and not on you. "I just need a moment. I'll be back."

Without another word, Namjoon runs down the stairs, and you watch as he disappears around the banister, toward the front door. Your right arm is slightly lifted, hovering near the empty space Namjoon had just occupied. 

As the seconds tick by, you struggle to fully comprehend what is happening. Clearly, both Yoongi and Namjoon are upset about something, whether that upset is directed at you or not, and they are not doing the best job of convincing you that things are fine. And, truth be told, you do not need everything to be completely fine. But you expect them to be honest with you, or at the very least, to not shut you out. 

Your hand drops to your side, and you spin on the balls of your feet, listlessly allowing your arms to fan out in the motion, making your way back to Yoongi's bedroom. Rather than return to Taehyung and Princess Mononoke, you hang a left toward the large window that overlooks the front driveway. 

Standing forehead to forehead, Namjoon's face is angled just slightly, looking down at Yoongi, whose expression is somewhat unreadable with his eyepatch. He appears to be smiling as they kiss, and the urge to cry increases. You remind yourself that the two of them share a past and that they deserve tender moments without your presence, despite how badly you wish to be included. 

"Everything alright?" Taehyung calls, and you sniffle, blinking away the tears that threaten to break. 

As you turn to face him, you take a deep, fortifying breath and nod, doing your best to smile. Your had been balling your fists inside the long sleeves of the pajama shirt, and you open and close them, wiggling your fingers as if attempting to release tension from your limbs. 

"I guess so," you admit, not fully willing to say yes or no.

"I imagine Namjoon is trying to convince Yoongi that he should go along," Taehyung says. "He always does."

"Ah," you respond; that does make sense.

"The two of them used to be inseparable and now Namjoon seems to get separation anxiety easily."

You begin to return to the couch, feeling somewhat lighter. Of course, Namjoon would want to join Yoongi on whatever this trip is; it sounds like it might be a big deal. "He should go."

Taehyung hums and regards you quietly, then pats the cushion where you had been previously sitting before he returns to watching the movie. With a little more pep in your step, you join him, plopping down on the couch as you sigh and swing your legs up to the left so you can lean your head against his shoulder. 

Although you watch the screen, nothing fully registers. Only Taehyung's warmth and gentle musk hit your senses and linger. Briefly, you even close your eyes. 

Outside, vehicle doors shut, and the metal gate scrapes open. Moments later, two heavy feet stomp up the stairs and into the bedroom. You keep your head on Taehyung's shoulder but open your eyes, watching a confrontation between the two lead characters on screen while Namjoon comes into view in your periphery. 

"Mind if I join you?" Namjoon asks, and you shrug, offering a brief smile while you say, "Sure."

Namjoon walks in front of the television, rounding the small wooden table in front of the sofa, then plops down at Taehyung's right. Although you keep your eyes ahead, gaze barely on the actual movie, you can see and feel Taehyung lifting his arm and shifting his legs to accommodate Namjoon curling up to his side. 

"How did I get stuck with the children?" he teases as his left arm gently wraps around your hip. 

You smile, unable to hold back a little chuckle. "Pure luck, obviously."

"What's the other child up to, today?" Namjoon asks. 

Taehyung asks, "Jeongguk?" and Namjoon hums. 

"He's become obsessed with working out again."

"He doesn't wanna join us?" Namjoon asks. 

Taehyung sighs. "He likely will eventually, but I think he's struggling to deal with everything that has happened. With Jimin in a coma and Paradise temporarily closed, he feels directionless. And, of course, he worries about Jimin." Taehyung squeezes your side as he adds, "He also feels guilty for taking his anger out on you that night."

Jeongguk undoubtedly did appear angry, but considering the circumstances, you can hardly say you blame him. You suppose you are willing to accept that Jeongguk may not be upset with you.

"I get it," you mutter, letting your gaze drop to the wall below the television. "I don't think any of us were in our right minds."

Seconds pass, then Taehyung quietly adds, "He will be very happy to know how you feel."

As the three of you sit and watch the film, your eyelids grow heavy, and it takes almost no time at all for you to fall back asleep.

The events of last night play in your mind once more, and as soon as the man's head explodes from Hoseok's shotgun shell, you flinch awake, gasping for air. As the room comes into focus, you realize you are lying on the large sofa with Namjoon, who is behind you with his head propped up onto his hand, watching television. You sigh into wakefulness, heavy-blinking and yawning, and Namjoon pauses whatever drama he has put on and gently wraps an arm over your hip. 

"Hey, sweetheart," he says just above your ear, and you groan as you stretch your legs out, then begin to wiggle around until you are facing him. 

Namjoon still wears the black tee, and you reach up and gently trace along the exposed skin of his bicep with your fingertips, playing with the hem of his sleeve. 

"What time is it?" you ask, staring up into Namjoon's warm, dark eyes. 

"Evening," he responds, leaning to place a kiss on your forehead. "You knocked out."

"Did Taehyung go home?"

Namjoon nods, humming, "Mmhmm. Christopher wanted to meet with him, and check in on Jeongguk."

"Surprised I slept that long," you grumble, feeling another yawn work its way through your chest. "I keep dreaming about last night."

"Taehyung mentioned he would speak with Christopher about sleep aids. I am always happy to supply Xanax if needed."

Although you are unsure whether you want to create a dependence on Xanax to get you through the night, the prospect of getting restful, dreamless sleep is wonderful. 

"That would be nice," you say, burying your face against Namjoon's chest. 

You half expect Namjoon to continue watching his show, but silence hangs as he settles his head down onto a pillow and wraps both arms around you with the bottom one sliding under your neck. 

"Sorry if I seemed a little cold earlier," Namjoon finally says. "Letting Yoongi leave on his own when we are in the midst of a showdown between both families is just…a lot. I know he's a grown adult and can take care of himself, but I also hate not being able to be there."

Just as Taehyung had said.

"Why didn't you go with him?"

Namjoon seems to hesitate and then says, “He asked me to stay with you.”

“Oh.”

“I don't mean to suggest that I don’t want to be here with you,” Namjoon adds quickly, and although you believe him, it is clear that he would rather be by Yoongi’s side. 

“I get it,” you say, feeling no need for Namjoon to explain himself. “But you could have gone with him,” you add, feeling Namjoon stiffen. 

The air feels tense and awkward, but you make no move to give either of you space. Even if Namjoon would rather be comforting Yoongi, you still crave his warmth. 

“I guess what I mean to say,” you continue, “is that I have the others here, too. Of course, nobody compares to you and Yoongi, but if you need to be by his side, I’m happy here with Taehyung and Jeongguk. Don’t feel obligated to babysit me.”

Namjoon scoots back, and you look up to find a somewhat angry, sad expression on his face. "Why would you say it like that?"

Without thinking, you roll your eyes, watching as his eyes go wider before you add, "You know what I meant."

"You think that the only reason I am here is because I feel the need to coddle you?"

Your patience is wearing thin, and despite finally getting a little sleep, you feel far too tired to be bickering with him over something like this. 

"Namjoon—"

"No, don't Namjoon me. I'm not your fucking babysitter, I'm your partner. I'm here with you because I enjoy being with you."

"You're here with me because Yoongi asked you to be," you clarify, speaking from his earlier words. "Which is fine, I don't mind that being the case. But if you're going to be miserable with worry, you may as well have joined him."

Namjoon sighs and begins to pull away entirely in an attempt to sit up. Feeling resolved, you slightly roll away, giving him space to do so. You are not, however, willing to let him walk away before you are done speaking your mind. 

"It's fine if you want to go with him, and I don't understand why you chose not to. You and Yoongi have a history, and I get that. Not everything you do will include me."

Namjoon sits sideways with his legs outstretched because you have not bothered to move in any way that will actually allow him to escape easily. You prop your head up on your hand with your elbow bent against the pillow and watch as Namjoon's expression oscillates from frustrated to contemplative. 

Finally, Namjoon speaks up, voice sounding small as he says, "If you don't want me around, just say so."

At this you huff, drop your hand and head to the pillow, and begin to roll away, letting your leg drape over the edge of the couch before you steady yourself enough to sit up. Namjoon has not moved, and you are in no mood to face him. It feels like anything you say will be bent to suit whatever this emotional streak of Namjoon's is, and you do not have the energy to play along. 

But then petulance rises, and you stare at the dark blue fabric of the sofa beneath you as you say, "I wanted you around last night. And Yoongi. But I was shut out, and now he's gone."

"Sweetheart—" Namjoon begins, and you shove what is left of the cream-colored blanket that covers your legs, eager to get it the fuck off you as you stand and disregard him.

"I don't want to talk anymore," you grumble as you make your way to the ensuite. 

You never bothered to wash your face or tend to your hair after last night, and you decide in this moment that you would like to shower. For all you know, the blood of some unknown dead man could be on you. 

To your surprise, Namjoon says nothing. You don't bother closing the door behind you as you begin to strip from your borrowed black pajamas and find a fluffy white towel which you hang on a hook beside the shower door. Not bothering to close this door either, you walk to the back wall of the shower and turn it on, feeling a cold blast of water that quickly turns scathing hot before you turn the nob and make it a more reasonable hot.

Although your movements are slow, you take care of your hair and wash your body, standing still periodically with your face tilted up to let the water rinse over you. You know that whatever this tiff you have with Namjoon is, you will need to talk about it at some point. You just wish that things could be calm and easy, in the meantime. After last night, you desperately need things to be calm and easy. 

Finally, when you are just about to shut the water off and get out, you hear a belt buckle hitting the tile floor, followed by a quieter sound of a soft garment being dropped alongside it. Your pulse quickens, but you do your best to seem unaffected by Namjoon's presence—at least until you are able to gauge what kind of a mood he is in. 

"Mind if I join you?" Namjoon asks, voice soft and calm—deep.

You turn just enough to find him standing in the doorway nude, and you rove your eyes down past his pecs and tummy—along the curves and scales of his dragon tattoo—to his glorious thighs and the thick cock that hangs heavy between them.

"Be my guest," you respond with a shrug, feigning nonchalance as you turn back to the stream of water.

Namjoon enters and begins to wash his hair. He uses the tangerine shampoo that reminds you of Yoongi, then he slathers a cloth with the same citrus floral soap that also reminds you of Yoongi. You have no reason to linger in the shower, but Namjoon is close, the steam filling the room leaves you a bit dizzy, and you are touch-starved. 

"Baby," you mutter, turning to lean your back against the cool tile wall and get out of the hot stream of water. 

Namjoon is washing his legs, bent in half, and he looks up with wide eyes. There are so many things you want to say and ask for and command, but all that falls from your lips is, "I miss you."

Namjoon cracks a smile, then he bends further to finish washing his ankles and one foot after the other. And then he straightens out, chucks the cloth to the side, and steps forward, into the stream of water, pausing a moment to rinse. 

"I miss you, too," he says with his eyes closed and face tilted up against the stream, rubbing his hands over his hair and causing a waterfall of suds to cascade over him. 

Feeling overcome with emotion and resolved to put whatever transpired earlier behind you, for the sake of your sanity if nothing more, you reach out toward Namjoon, who is close enough that you are able to graze your fingertips over his tummy. 

"Let's just…not argue, okay?" you practically plead. "We've both been through a lot. We need each other."

Namjoon continues to rinse off a moment longer, then he steps through the stream and looms over you, dripping wet with a blazing fire in his dark eyes. His voice is deep and insistent as he says, "You have me, sweetheart."

"Dizzy," you mutter, reaching to trace your fingertips listlessly over his skin. "Let's get out."

Namjoon nods and shuts the water off, then he leans in close and presses his body against yours, capturing your lips with his. When was the last time you and Namjoon kissed? It feels like a lifetime ago, despite it probably only being last night, and you sigh into the feeling, overcome with a surge of affection. 

His movements are languid and firm, pressing and claiming but in no hurry. You grab Namjoon's ribs with both palms and gently squeeze at his skin and muscle, rubbing slowly, allowing your eyes to flutter closed. 

As soon as all you see is darkness, the images return in quick, nauseating succession. A man's head explodes from Hoseok's shotgun shell and another from your bullets, turning into red and brown and greyish-pink mush against concrete. Blood seeps from between Yoongi's fingers, and you gasp, opening your eyes and mouth wide as your hands hover at Namjoon's sides. 

"Sweetheart—"

"I'm sorry," you sob, hot tears pouring from your eyes as the black and gold bathroom returns to view and Namjoon's dripping wet honey skin greets you. "I can't—every time I close my eyes, I see—I'm sorry."

"Shhh," Namjoon whispers, wrapping his arms around your head and shoulders and pulling you close, engulfing you in wet warmth. "It's okay, don't apologize."

"I feel like I'm going insane. I can't keep reliving this."

"Want me to call Christopher?"

You nod as you sob, holding Namjoon close and doing your best to keep your eyes open. 

"Let's get out of here and put some clean clothes on."

Namjoon's hands slowly caress over your back and shoulders, and you allow yourself to breathe into the feeling and relax. You have tensed up so much that your shoulders are raised high, and you inhale deeply, attempting to calm your nerves and work up the energy to leave the bathroom. 

"Okay," you finally breathe, sniffling and taking deep, slow breaths. "Yeah, let's go."

Slowly, steadily, you are able to leave the shower with one of Namjoon's arms holding firmly around your waist. He towels you off, kneeling on the rug and tile floor, making sure to get every last drop, and then he wraps his clean towel over your shoulders and uses yours to very quickly dry himself. 

His phone is sitting on the countertop beside the sink, and he picks it up, thumbs around for a moment, and then takes your hand to lead you out into the bedroom and into Yoongi's closet. By the time the two of you are dressed, the doorbell rings. 

"I'm going to go answer that," Namjoon says, turning his body fully toward you and taking your hands in his. His thumbs rub over your knuckles, and although you mostly feel emotionally drained, his touch is nice. "Do you want to meet on the couch in here, or the one downstairs?"

"In here," you respond automatically, disinterested in fussing with the stairs or sitting in the huge, empty main hall of Yoongi's home.

"Alright," Namjoon says. "Go have a seat and we'll be right back." 

The world tilts ever so slightly as you move from the closet to the couch. The cream-colored blanket hangs halfway to the floor, and you bend to lift it and drape it over your legs, holding it close to your chest once you sit. Perhaps this is an unprofessional way to meet with the family psychiatrist, but you care more about your comfort than his, if you are being honest. 

Moments later, a man dressed in family blacks enters the room with a bow, greeting you warmly. Although Namjoon enters with him, he leaves almost instantly, insisting that he will be right outside if anyone needs him. 

You feel nervous to talk to Christopher, but he has a kind smile and soft giggle, and he speaks with an accented lilt that reminds you of Felix, instantly easing you into conversation. And even though you are nervous about this process and what it may entail, you do your best, if only for the sake of getting some goddamn sleeping pills. 

Kitten: Landed in Hong Kong. How is my darling?

You: I miss you a lot. It feels like I hardly saw you before you left. 

Kitten: I know, and I'm sorry for that. But I will be home in a few days.

You: I look forward to it. I spoke to Christopher earlier and he recommended an antidepressant to help me sleep.

Kitten: Have you been having nightmares?

You: Yeah, he says it's PTSD. It's been really bad. Even when I close my eyes while fully awake, I see flashes of what happened. I just want to stop remembering. 

Kitten: I know what you mean. I'm glad you are taking healthier steps toward blocking those memories than I have, in the past. 

You: Yeah, well, I have Namjoon's Xanax supply on standby, just in case. 

Kitten: Good, good. Is Namjoon there? I want to give him a call. I would like to hear your voice, too.

You: He's here, watching over my shoulder like a needy little hawk. Please call before he drives me insane. 

Kitten: :] Will do, darling. Just give me a few minutes. 

You are in Seungri's penthouse once again, only as soon as you get into his bedroom with the glass of whiskey in hand, it is Yoongi who slaps you across the face and commands you to get undressed. 

Your empty hand twitches above your thigh, itching to grab for the switchblade, and Yoongi's hand lingers over your cheek, thumb pulling down on your lip. 

“Have I said something to anger you?” you ask, and Yoongi laughs as he drops his hand to his side. 

“You no longer fear me,” he drawls as he turns back to his drink and grabs onto the glass with his lithe, pretty fingers, repeating the words Seungri once said. “Used to be I could put a little scare into you, but now you stand your ground. I like that about you.”

Yoongi skips all the chit-chat that Seungri usually dives into and instead downs his drink and begins to undress. His scars shine brightly when hit by the golden light of the room—his bedroom—and you undress without removing the blade from your thigh or trying to conceal it at all. 

“What a pretty girl,” Yoongi mutters as he approaches.

You step aside and pat the bed—Yoongi's bed—with your hand, purring, “Hop up, sir.”

Yoongi is hard and leaking, cock pointing to the heavens as he settles against his black and gold comforter, and you get up onto the bed and seat yourself in one swift movement, pressing him so deep into you that a shiver works its way along your spine. 

Slowly, you rock your hips, reaching with both hands to drag your fingertips over the scars closest to his heart. "Pretty," you moan as your blunt fingernails turn sharp as talons and catch on the raised skin. 

Then, in a flash, you reach up and slash over Yoongi's eye, quick as a serpent and sharp as glass. Yoongi groans and writhes beneath you, and you—somehow holding your switchblade—continue to fuck him hard and fast while you press the tip of the blade deep into his skin and drag it down over his eyelid, to the apple of his pretty cheek. 

"Mine," you snarl like a beast, thumbing over the pooled blood and smearing it over his face, watching as it mats in his hair. "Forever mine."

You wake up gasping, covered in sweat and stuck in place under warm, heavy limbs. It is still dark outside, and as you pant and attempt to sit up, Namjoon groans and slowly twists away, removing the weight that holds you down. 

"Fuck," you mutter, frustrated. You had taken one of the pills Christopher prescribed and it made you somewhat loopy and very tired—a promising prospect, at the time. 

Namjoon lifts an arm and points to the bedside table to your left, grumbling something incomprehensible before his breathing returns to light snores, and you turn to find two boxes sitting next to a tall glass of water. First, you grab your box of medication and put it back. Then you grab the other, made out to Namjoon, and you pull out a packet and rip it open, freeing one large white pill and gulping it down with a mouthful of water. 

Rather than lying back down to sleep, you roll back toward Namjoon and begin to shimmy down into the sheet, yanking his legs to spread and crawling between them. You can still feel Yoongi inside you from the dream, and you want Namjoon in your mouth now, before you lose your mind. 

Namjoon hums and yawns as you paw at his semi-soft cock, and once he cracks an eye open and moans his consent, you yank his briefs away and swallow him down into your throat, eagerly sucking and stretching your lips, moaning and humming as he trembles and groans beneath you. 

With eager hands, Namjoon yanks at your shirt, pulling it over your head and tossing it aside before gripping at your shoulders and arms in what feels like an attempt to get you to stop sucking his cock.

"Fuck me," he begs, and you do as you are told, grinning with drool-slick lips as you crawl and crash into him, needing to be held up while you angle his tip just right and begin to fuck yourself on him. 

The stretch is so intense, you shiver and fall forward, palms sliding against his sweat-slicked chest and gripping onto the pillow beside his head. Namjoon takes your hips in both hands and begins to fuck upward, holding you in place to use as you bob and moan like a marionette built only for pleasure. 

Namjoon changes positions and holds you tight, fucking you from behind while you lie half on your back and half on your side. By the time you cum, you are dizzy and sinking deep into a drug-induced fog, lulled by the feeling of lips and warm breath against your neck. 

"Don't stop," you mutter as you slip from consciousness, just as eager for Namjoon to cum but unable to hold on and see to it that he does. Although you think his movements have halted and he has repositioned you to rest against his chest, you could also be imagining it as everything fades to black. 

"I wonder how Jeongguk is doing," you mutter, holding your steaming cup of tea to your lips and staring out the bedroom's back window. Namjoon has purchased two new chairs that match the couch because last night, you said you wanted to be able to look out at the gardens.

"Ask him," Namjoon responds somewhat flatly. 

When you look at Namjoon, his brow is knit, and he stares out the window as if he is looking at nothing. He spaces out like this from time to time, and although you are curious about what is on his mind, you feel a bit too disconnected to ask. The antidepressants work wonders for your anxiety and post-traumatic stress symptoms, but they are also anti many other things, including happiness and concern. Christopher insists you need a few weeks to a month to adjust. 

"Fine," you respond with a sigh, disinterested in talking to Namjoon if he is going to be so short with you. 

You pick up your phone, which you keep nearby at all times in case Yoongi reaches out, and you dial Jeongguk's number. The last time the two of you spoke was the night you sliced your boyfriend's pretty face open, and although you are somewhat nervous to hear his voice, you try not to overthink it. 

Jeongguk picks up on the second ring, and you can hear him panting as he says, "Doll. Hey."

"Hi," you respond, swallowing thickly. Suddenly, your mouth feels really dry. "Am I interrupting anything?"

There is a pause, and you hear the bubbling sound of him drinking from a water bottle, followed by a low Ahhh. "Nah, just working out. But I could take a break. Do you need something?"

"No," you clear your throat and sit up, repositioning your legs on the large blue chair. To your right, Namjoon sighs and gets up. "I just wanted to see how you were doing. We haven't spoken since the—"

"Right," Jeongguk interrupts, voice low and rough. "Listen, I'm sorry for—"

Disinterested in apologies, you mutter, "No, it's fine. I get it."

Silence hangs. You want to see Jeongguk again. You want to ask him to come over, maybe ask whether he would like to take a walk through the garden or drive into town for some ice cream. You miss his smell and the way his eyes brighten up like tiny galaxies when he smiles nice and big.

"Do you—" you begin just as Jeongguk says, "Hey, so, I was thinking—" and you both stop, chuckling and waiting for the other to speak. 

"Go ahead," you urge him. 

Jeongguk hesitates, then says, "I don't even know. If I finish that sentence, I will probably regret it the moment the words come out of my mouth."

You glance over your shoulder when you hear the sound of a belt being buckled and find Namjoon getting dressed in blue jeans and a tan sweatshirt near the closet. He keeps his eyes down as he shoves his hands into his pockets, and does not say a word as he turns and leaves the room. 

"Just tell me," you respond, eyes on Namjoon's retreating form. 

"I was going to say that I think we should spend some time apart," Jeongguk says, voice sounding somewhat sad.

Your chest clenches, and you feel the air sucked from your lungs, returning your gaze to the window. "Oh."

"But even as I say it, I don't believe it. I would sprint over and see you right now if you asked me to. I miss you all the time."

This makes you feel shy, and you nibble your lip. "It's only been a couple days."

"A couple of really shitty days," Jeongguk responds, to which you scoff. "This isn't a conversation to have over the phone, but, I don't know, I guess I just wanted to say what you did when Jimin was injured…it was pretty incredible. And mildly horrifying. And really fucking sexy. All accidents aside."

This makes you laugh, and you stare out the window, at the familiar statues, fountains, and trees. You think about how easy it would be for Jeongguk to come see you, and you almost beg him to. 

"I miss you too," you finally say, feeling a lightness in your chest that hasn't been there for days. "I wasn't planning on telling you that, because I didn't want to inflate your ego, but that is the reason I called."

"Come see me tomorrow?" Jeongguk asks, voice high and hopeful.

"What happened to spending time apart?" you tease.

Jeongguk chuckles. "I told you my conviction is shit. I fucking miss you, alright. Don't make me say it again."

You would love to see Jeongguk. "Alright. Any particular time?"

"Nah," he responds easily. "Whenever you feel like it."

"Okay."

The deep, sultry tone you know all too well returns when he says, "Wear something slutty," and your cheeks warm instantly. 

"Jeon Jeongguk!"

"Come on, doll. It's been almost a fucking week. I need that pussy."

How easily Jeongguk cycles through his moods gives you whiplash, and you shake your head, chuckling quietly. "Forget I said I miss you. I take it all back."

"Nah," he teases, "you miss me."

With a sigh and a smile, you mutter, "Thank you," feeling a fuzzy warmth in your chest. 

You think you hear Jeongguk scoff. "For what?"

Namjoon comes into view outside, walking along the rightmost garden path. His steps are slow and meandering, legs swinging and kicking at gravel, and his left hand is in his jeans pocket while he holds his phone to his ear with his right hand. 

"For making me smile," you respond, feeling a sadness that is hard to pinpoint as you watch Namjoon. "It hasn't been easy."

"Namjoon hyung not keeping you company?"

Namjoon turns to the left and crouches down in front of a rosebush, tilting his head and smiling as he speaks into the phone. It is a smile that reaches his eyes and, even from afar, the prettiest you have seen in days. 

"Nah," you sigh. "Namjoon's in his emo era. I think he regrets staying with me while Yoongi is away."

"Don't put it that way," Jeongguk interjects, and you are quick to say, "I get it. It's fine. I can't have the same history they do, especially not overnight. But it's hard, you know? We both have this gaping wound from missing the same person—worrying over the same person. And instead of turning to one another for peace, we're growing sick of each other."

"There is no way in hell the Kim Namjoon I know is sick of you; he loves the shit out of you. But the love he has for Yoongi is going to be a little different. I have definitely seen the way he shuts down when forced to worry from a distance."

You hum, watching as Namjoon glances up to the window. Although you have no idea whether he can see you, you stare back, hoping that he can. And then his eyes squeeze closed as he laughs and spins on his heels, making his way toward the hedge maze. 

"I miss him and I spend every day at his side."

Jeongguk hums. "I'm sure he misses you, too."

"I started medication, too," you continue, rambling somewhat because it is nice to have someone to talk to. "And it's been great to stop feeling so anxious all the time, but I also feel kind of numb."

"How's your sex drive?"

You scoff, shaking your head. "God, why is that your first concern?"

Jeongguk laughs. "Look, I've heard that it can be a side effect!"

"You're so fucking annoying."

"Well?"

"I don't know," you respond somewhat petulantly. "I guess I have an okay sex drive, but it's hard to gauge when the person I would be having sex with is being so distant."

"Fair. Well, we'll have to test it tomorrow if you're up for it."

Another scoff rocks through your chest, and you shake your head at his audacity. "Fine. If I'm up for it, we'll test it."

"Good."

With a sigh, you decide you have nothing more to talk about. You still don't really know Jeongguk very well in terms of his hobbies or interests, and you have no clue what else you could discuss casually as friends. "I'm going to let you go. Maybe I'll see what my emo Joon is doing in the garden."

"Sounds good," Jeongguk says. "Call me whenever you're up for it, and come by tomorrow if you want to."

"Okay," you smile, biting your lip. "I will."

You: I took a nap today and dreamt Namjoon became a forest sprite, and that he lived in a big, sturdy tree. These medications make my dreams super vivid and strange. 

Kitten: That sounds like our Namjoon! :] What about the nightmares? Are they helping with that?

You: For the most part. But sometimes one sneaks in.

Kitten:  Well, I'm glad you are finding at least a little relief, darling.

You: Talk soon? I miss your voice.

Kitten: I'll call tonight. 

Namjoon gives up trying to get you to do anything for the rest of the night, frustrated by how intent you are on keeping your phone clenched in your hand with the ringer turned high. You check the screen periodically to see what time it is, and eventually fall asleep on the couch, clutching your phone to your chest, waiting for Yoongi to call. 

When the morning comes, you wake up and check your phone, feeling an instant surge of sadness from the lack of notification. All you want is to hear his voice for five minutes, but you are afraid to initiate a call in case he is busy. You're afraid of getting in the way or being annoying. So you wait. 

You: You never called. :( I hope to hear from you today, if you have time.

"You should try to eat something."

Slowly, your eyes blink from your phone to the bowl of fruit in front of you, to Namjoon. He sits across from you on the bed cross-legged with a wooden tray of breakfast foods between you. You hardly remember him bringing it into the room or sitting in front of it, and you really have no appetite, but you lift a cube of watermelon to your mouth just to appease him. 

"Not hungry," you mutter as you wrap your lips around the fruit and bite. It is far too sweet, but it is also refreshing, so you chew and swallow, then reach for another. 

Namjoon sighs, making you feel inexplicably worse. "Is it the medication?"

With a shrug, you stare ahead at the various cubes of melon and the plain omelet that has undoubtedly gone cold. "I guess. It's everything."

"Yoongi?"

You hum. "And you. You're distant. It sucks."

"I know," Namjoon responds somberly. "But so are you."

"Yeah."

Slowly, you lift a piece of melon to your mouth, stopping as your phone dings.

Kitten: Sorry, darling. Been busy. Talk soon! 

With a frown, you pop the fruit into your mouth, slowly chewing as you type your response.

You:  Are you coming home soon?

Then you fall back onto the mattress with your legs bent and feet planted. You should probably let Jeongguk know that you aren't in the mood to hang out today. 

You: Namjoon says the meetings are going well and that the deal is looking good. I hope this means you'll be coming home soon. 

More than a few days pass in a fog. The medication has you feeling so disoriented some days, that all you do is sleep. And when you sleep you dream. 

Sometimes, you are in a library, but it bends and twists and becomes shaped like the many mansions you have spent time in over the years. Men who have used and harmed you in the past are there, always attempting to win you back and claim you for themselves, always chasing you through rows and rows of bookshelves, and you are always searching desperately for Yoongi. 

The worst dream that comes is one wherein Yoongi is dead. News breaks that his body has washed up in the Han, and before he can even be buried, Ryujin and Hyungseo are at the front door surrounded by men strapped with guns, pulling heavy suitcases behind them, moving their things into the master bedroom and throwing your belongings out the windows. 

But at least you no longer dream about the night Jimin was shot. You no longer watch Yoongi bleed. At least you can be thankful for a little reprieve. If only Yoongi would answer your messages, maybe you would stop worrying so fucking much about him. Maybe you would stop searching endlessly for him.

You barely register Namjoon's face buried between your thighs as you stare at the ceiling, feeling the Xanax sink in deep. Tonight, you want dreamless sleep for a change. You just want to forget about Yoongi, and about everything else. 

Namjoon's tongue is skilled and brilliant, but it does not make you cum. You warned him going into this that there was a chance it wouldn't happen, and he happily agreed to try, anyway. As you stare up at the dark ceiling, the vastness of the bedroom feels suffocating. It is too big for three people, much less two. It is especially far too big to be in when you are already feeling lonely. 

"Baby, I don't think I'm gonna cum," you groan, reaching for his head and gripping gently with your fingers. 

Namjoon's lips and tongue slow and then stop, sucking loudly at your clit and labia before letting you go with a wet smack. 

"It's alright," he insists. "Just wanted to try."

Without another word, Namjoon shuffles out from between your legs and lies beside you, turning to face away. You sigh, curve toward Namjoon's back, and grip your pillow tight beneath your head, eager for sleep. 

Sitting on the large blue chair by the window, you stare at your phone, trying to decide whether today is the day you finally see your friend. There is no reason to hesitate to call him, and yet, you do. 

"I should see what Jeongguk is up to," you mutter, mostly to yourself. 

Namjoon sighs and snaps the book in his hands shut, then he turns to you with a frown. "All you do is talk about him, so just go see him, already."

His candor surprises you, and you exhale deeply, feeling a heavy weight pressing on your shoulders. "Are you mad that I want to see him?"

"No. I'm just tired of hearing about it."

He definitely sounds mad. 

"Okay," you respond, disappointed. "I won't talk about it anymore."

As you get up from the chair and walk away from the large window and the sunshine it allows in, you have half a mind to go into your room and change into something pretty to go frolic in the gardens by yourself. It has been far too long since you have left the house. 

So you pad out into the mezzanine, doing your best to ignore how huge and quiet and empty the mansion feels, and you make your way to your bedroom. 

Although it is not your intention, you shove the door closed, slamming it rather loudly. Then you spin on the balls of your feet, walk over to the bed, and fling yourself down onto the yellow and white comforter, deciding a nap sounds good. 

You wake up to the sounds of car doors closing outside and the front door opening and shutting, muttering, "Yoongi!" to yourself. 

Unsure how or when you managed to get into bed in the master suite, you toss aside your concern and the black and gold comforter and roll out of bed, feet hitting the soft, light blue rug. Although you are in a regrettable state, unsure when you last showered because you can barely keep your days straight anymore, you are undeterred as you run through the master suite, out into the mezzanine, and down the stairs, bare feet slapping against cold marble. 

As you fling yourself around the banister and continue toward the main hall, all you see are Namjoon and Seokjin standing in the entrance, and you halt, body swaying forward before tensing. 

"Yoongi?" you ask, unable to form a single other coherent thought. 

Seokjin smiles sadly and approaches with his hands in his black slack pockets, and you feel nausea hit your guts like a brick. "Can we have a word?" he asks, holding his arm out, hand extended toward the back door. 

You glance over your shoulder, feeling uncertain; does he mean to go out by the pool?

"S-sure," you say, willing your feet to move but finding you are unable to as your gaze finds Namjoon, dressed once more in blue jeans and a soft sweater, typing into his phone with a frown. 

"Yoongi decided he needed to stay put a little while longer," Seokjin says lowly, still holding his hand out. "Mind if we step outside?"

"Outside," you mutter, nodding your head robotically as you turn and face the back doors. "Yeah, sure. Let's go."

Seokjin takes the lead and approaches the sliding glass door, unlocking it and pulling it open. It is strange to enter the pool area with it empty of an employee, and you step out onto the rough gunite and pad over to the nearest pool beds. 

The sun is bright, the birds are chirping, and you feel extremely on edge, finding that every minuscule sight and sound has your shoulders lifting higher and higher toward your ears. So when Seokjin sits before you, pulls a flask from his breast pocket, and hands it over, you quickly take it, drinking from it without bothering to ask what is inside and wincing slightly as bitter, semi-sweet whiskey hits your tongue.

You sigh through the intense flavor as you hand the flask back, asking, "Why didn't he come home?"

Seokjin takes a slow swig and says, "That is a question I am not quite sure I have an answer to. I can only surmise the reason based on the behavior I witnessed him exhibiting during our stay."

"Which is…?" you attempt to lead Seokjin to tell you before you lose your cool. Seokjin is far too calm, sitting in his standard black uniform with his outgrown, dark hair pulled delicately off his forehead. 

"Which is that he began quite optimistic, daresay, happy at times, only to self-isolate and become very quiet. We were meant to leave days ago, but he kept stating he wanted to stay and 'figure it out,' whatever that meant. When I decided I could no longer stay, he wished me farewell and refused to explain what was on his mind."

"And the deal?" 

Seokjin stares for a moment, then leans forward, offering you the flask, which you take. "Has he told you anything about it?"

You shake your head, lifting the flask toward your lips, pausing to say, "He said he would tell me about it when he came back."

"Hmm, well, then I suppose I can tell you that the meeting went well."

The whiskey is not entirely unwelcoming, but the headiness is somewhat overwhelming. You hand the flask back to Seokjin, waiting for him to continue. He takes a swig and holds the flask in his grasp, resting his hands against his thigh. 

"Hyungseo has agreed to a truce, and her group will no longer be bothering any of us. Ryujin has also agreed to the truce, since it is still largely her family in charge, even if she has allowed Hyungseo to take over. As far as the details, well…I would rather let Yoongi explain."

Although this is good news, you feel strange about what Seokjin is telling you. Were Hyungseo and Ryujin in Hong Kong, as well? Could they still be there? When you blurt the questions out, Seokjin snickers and shakes his head. 

"The ladies were present for our discussion, but, as far as I know, they both returned home days ago."

You wonder if that could be the reason for Yoongi's sour mood. Perhaps seeing Ryujin still affects him. The prospect makes you feel sick. 

"I feel like there is a lot of context I am missing here," you grumble.

"There is," Seokjin responds simply. Then he sits forward, resting his wrists against his knees. "You know, the offer to work for them in Busan stands. In fact, you could be a huge asset for us, since we need someone there making sure they aren't conspiring in spite of our agreement."

"I…don't know," you say. 

"Well, give it some thought," Seokjin responds in a chipper tone, taking one more sip from his flask and holding it out for you. 

You shake your head and hold your hand up, muttering, "Thanks."

"Seems you could use a bit of a vacation, if I may be so bold as to say so. Six months on the coast might do you some good."

"Just getting accustomed to new medications," you grumble, unsure why you bother telling him any of this, in the first place. 

Seokjin hums. "Yes, that process can be a bit disorienting. Try to remember to drink water and eat, even if it suppresses your appetite. We don't need you withering away."

You nod listlessly, barely listening to Seokjin, asking, "Do you think he's coming home soon?" before you can stop yourself. 

"Likely," Seokjin responds with a sigh as he stands. "It's hard to say with Yoongi. Once he gets in his head, there is no telling when he will come out."

"And if he doesn't?"

The sun is bright behind Seokjin when you look up at him, and you lift your hand to block the rays from your eyes, squinting. 

"If he doesn't come home, then perhaps you and Namjoon will have to go and get him."

If there is anyone in this family willing to get onto a plane and head for Hong Kong at a moment's notice, you are sure it is Namjoon. "Okay," you mutter, dropping your hand and your gaze, feeling tired and a bit empty. 

"Take care little wolf cub," Seokjin says as he turns to return inside, and you nod listlessly as you shift around on the pool bed and curl in on yourself, chasing the urge to sleep.

Tonight, even the Xanax does nothing to keep your nightmares at bay, and when you wake up screaming from the sight of the man's head exploding, you find the bed empty, causing your pulse to spike. 

You glance around, find the room empty, and then reach for your phone. Your heart sinks when you see a notification from Namjoon and none from Yoongi, and you heavy-blink, thumbing over your bright screen to open and read the text.

Joonbug: Sorry if you wake up and I'm not there. I'm having a hard time sleeping and didn't want to keep you up, so I walked home. I'll be back in the morning. <3 Call me if you need anything.

Truthfully, you find it hard to blame Namjoon. Twice, you startled him with your screaming, and he has been complaining lately about struggling to fall asleep and stay asleep. Plus, he has been seeking a lot more alone time. 

You: Woke up screaming again, so you made the right call by leaving. 

You half expect Namjoon to already be asleep, noticing it is just before two in the morning. So when he begins to type, you are surprised. 

Joonbug: Shit, I'm sorry, sweetheart. Want me to come back?

On one hand, you think it would be nice to have someone around. But on the other hand, you are not sure it is Namjoon's attention that you crave. Although you love him dearly, the two of you seem to be on different planes of existence lately. Ships passing quietly in the night, both emotionally and physically. Spending too much time together right now might do more harm than good. 

First, you dial Yoongi. Hearing his voice would do wonders for your emotional state, and he is the first person you want to talk to about what has been on your mind. But the phone rings and rings, and eventually goes to voicemail. "This is Min," the somewhat robotic tone of your boyfriend's voice says—disconnected and not meant solely for you the way you need his voice to sound. "Leave a message."

You hang up and hover your thumbs over your screen, attempting to gather your thoughts. Yoongi is unreachable, and Namjoon is distant, but perhaps Jeongguk is free. 

Jeongguk answers on the third ring, "Hey, doll? Late night booty call?" 

You graze your teeth over your lip, laughing as you say, "Maybe. Would you be into that?"

A scoff followed by, "Fuck yes I would be!" makes you smile widely. Then he adds, "Lemme just run it by Tae, alright?"

"Of course," you respond, realizing you should probably also discuss it with Namjoon. "Otherwise, we could just…I don't know…get fucked up? Even Xanax isn't cutting these nightmares and I just wanna get out of my head for a while."

"I can definitely help you with that," Jeongguk responds happily. "Lemme text you in just a minute, okay? After I speak with Tae?"

"Sounds good."

Jeongguk hangs up, and you smile to yourself, opening your neglected conversation with Namjoon. 

You: Actually, I was thinking about finally hanging out with Jeongguk. Kinda just want to get drunk, maybe get a little high. I need to get out of my head. As long as you don't mind.

Joonbug: Understandable. I hope you don't think you have to ask me for permission. I definitely want you to feel free to go spend time with him and have some fun. 

You: If things get a little heated, though…are you okay with that?

Joonbug: If what you need right now is to fuck Jeongguk, I fully support that.

You: Thanks, Joonbug. <3 I love you!

Joonbug: I love you too, sweetheart.

Gguk: Tae is down with whatever we feel like doing. Come to mine? Do you remember how?

You: Joon gave me his blessing, too. :) I think I remember.

Gguk: On second thought, stay put, and I'll come get you. It's dark out. 

You: Sounds good. I'll put on something slutty in the meantime. 

Gguk: Oh, fuck yeah! Be there soon!

Thankful that you had the energy to shower before your several failed attempts at sleeping earlier, you jump out of bed and run to your bedroom. Hanging amongst the sundresses is a little black satin slip dress with spaghetti straps and lace along the edges, and you peel off Namjoon's oversized dark grey tee and toss it to the floor. 

The dress fits snugly, squeezing your breasts and waist, creating inviting curves and cleavage, and you opt not to wear any panties underneath as you marvel at the high slit up your right thigh. 

You apply a little eye makeup, both because it feels like it has been a lifetime since you have looked in the mirror and liked what you have seen, but also because you like the thought of it streaking down your face later, should Jeongguk find some delicious reason to make you cry.

Once you are satisfied, you begin to make your way out to the mezzanine, and you are surprised to find Jeongguk standing at the foot of the stairs; you didn't hear him come in. 

"Jeongguk," you mutter, feeling your heart pound as his lips pull into a hungry grin. He wears a white tee and black basketball shorts, and his short dark hair is unstyled and a little disheveled. You stare at him, unsure whether he is real. How long has it been since the two of you crossed paths? Far too long. 

"Dollface," Jeongguk groans, toying with his lip ring in his teeth. "God damn you look amazing."

As you reach for the railing and begin down the cold marble stairs, you feel a slight tremble in your limbs. Jeongguk watches you like a predator eyeing his prey, and you have forgotten what it feels like to be caught in a stare this hungry. 

"How do you feel about doing some molly?" he asks when you are halfway downstairs, and you hesitate, cocking your head to the side. 

"I don't know. What does it feel like?"

"Euphoric. Calming. Mixed with coke, it'll really wake you up and make you feel alive."

That does sound good, and you smile. "Alright. I'm down."

"I was thinking we could break into the pool bar and chase it down with some champagne, then walk over to my place?"

"Alright," you respond as you reach the last step, standing at eye level with him. 

Jeongguk reaches for your thighs, rubbing his hand up the sides, and you wiggle away in part because his gentle touch tickles, but also to keep him from discovering that you are not wearing any panties. If he finds out this early on, the two of you will never make it back to his place, and you are curious to see how he lives. 

As you side-step and scurry down to the landing, Jeongguk complains but obliges, turning on slippered feet and walking ahead to deal with the glass door. You are barefoot, and you tiptoe on the rough ground as Jeongguk makes his way to the bar and opens a mini fridge. 

"Bingo," he sing-songs, holding up two bottles of champagne with a wide grin, as if the task took any effort at all. Still, you clap excitedly for him as he rounds the bar with both bottles in hand. 

"I bet this dress would look great soaking wet," Jeongguk says, eyeing you once more like a ravenous beast while making his way to the nearest table. 

He plops down sideways on one of the pool beds and sets the bottles down, then pats his leg for you to join him. You make your way over and sit gingerly on his knee, keeping your legs closed and avoiding the urge to straddle him while he works one of the bottle corks open. 

"Let's keep the dress dry, for now," you bargain, reaching up to rub your fingertips along the undercut just above his ear.

Jeongguk bites his bottom lip while pulling out the cork, and when it comes loose with a loud pop, he opens his mouth wide, then grins. With one hand, he holds up the bottle and fishes into his pocket with the other. Then he pulls out a little clear baggie with six tiny capsules full of purple dust. 

"They're pretty small portions, so you can get a feel for it," he says as he hands the baggie to you and you begin to work its tiny plastic zipper open. "If it feels good and you want more, we can take more."

"Okay," you mutter somewhat nervously as you reach out and take a tiny capsule in your fingertips. 

"Ahhh," Jeongguk exclaims, and you look up to find his mouth open wide and tongue hanging open. 

Although you know he is asking for a pill, you lean in close and lick the length of his tongue nice and slow, marveling at the way his taste buds feel. Then you lift the pill and place it right in the center, watching as he seems to struggle to comprehend what just happened. 

With a giggle, you say, "Go on…swallow like a good boy," and Jeongguk takes a long swig from the champagne and then fixes you with a curious gaze. 

"Your turn, beautiful," Jeongguk says, making your cheeks blaze. "Be good for me and swallow. Or are you more of a spitter?"

Jeongguk's predictability is a perfect match for how corny he is, but although you roll your eyes, you lean close and ask, "Aren't you eager to find out?"

"Of course I am," he mutters, a hairswidth from your lips, and you turn your head just far enough to the side to pop one of the molly capsules onto your tongue. 

Jeongguk lifts the champagne and says, "Open for me, doll," and you tilt your head and part your lips, nervous but excited for him to pour champagne into your mouth. 

You expect him to make a mess, so when it spills over past your lips, you simply swallow what has been poured into your mouth and roll with it. Jeongguk licks from your chin to the crease of your lips, making an even wetter mess than the dribbled champagne, and you giggle as you attempt to stand from his lap, only to be held in place. 

"Not so fast," he says as he digs through his shorts pocket and holds up his little metal cocaine vial. "It'll take a little bit for the drugs to kick in and I want my senses heightened now."

"Oh?" you ask, cocking your head as you watch him scoop a considerable pile to snort into one nostril, followed by a second pile into the other. Jeongguk sighs and tips his head back, pressing the side of his knuckle against each nostril as he deeply sniffs inward once more, then he fixes you with a wide smile and offers you the cocaine. 

You trade him, handing off the little baggie of molly capsules, and in swift movements, you take the little metal vial with a spoon attached to its cap, and you snort a small pile into each nostril, then hand it back. As you press against the side of each nostril with your knuckle and inhale, Jeongguk watches you with eyes already somewhat glazed over, and you stand from his lap, smoothing out your tiny dress. 

"Eager to get away from here?" Jeongguk asks, gaze downturned slightly. 

With a shrug, you glance around and realize that yes, you really are eager to get away, at least for a little while. "I guess so. I've been cooped up."

"Alright," Jeongguk says, reaching for your hand. You take it, then grab the unopened bottle of champagne in the other. "Let's get out of here."

Jeongguk is careful and meticulous in the way he locks up the back door, then he takes your hand again to walk through the main hall, to the front door. He slides out of Yoongi's slippers and into some sandals, and you put on the pair of black ballet flats. 

Once outside, Jeongguk closes and checks the door, then he takes your hand once again and leads you around to the left, toward Seokjin's place. The night is so quiet you hear the sounds of crickets in the trees and the crunch of gravel underfoot. 

Jeongguk sighs and squeezes your hand, and you hum questionably, squeezing his back.

"Nothing," he says, turning to look at you. The path opens near Seokjin's home, and the two of you hang a left and continue along the side of the house to the back, where more trees separate each property. "I guess I'm just surprised sometimes."

"By what?" you ask, turning to look at Jeongguk, who turns to meet your gaze. The cocaine buzzes through your system while a nasty little drip can be tasted at the back of your throat.

"By you."

You scoff, feeling somewhat shy. "What do you mean?"

"Well, you did hate me when we first met," Jeongguk begins. 

"Because you were an asshole," you add. 

"And…I don't know. I was surprised when Yoongi and Namjoon were so open to the idea of us. Even tonight, I expected hyung to say no and keep you all to himself."

"Ah," you mutter, eyes on the ground. You begin to walk between more dark trees, enshrouded by their shadows, and you feel grateful that Jeongguk came to get you so that you wouldn't be walking this path alone. "Namjoon and I have been kind of distant, so I'm not surprised."

"Still?" Jeongguk asks.

"Yeah. Still."

"Damn. That sucks."

It does suck, but you feel awkward talking about it. "It's whatever," you lie. "He wants space and went to his house tonight, which is why I called you. Didn't really want to be alone."

"So I'm second place, wow," Jeongguk teases, squeezing your hand.

"Third when Yoongi is around," you tease back, turning to flash a playful grin. 

The rest of the walk is quiet, and when you reach Jeongguk's home, you are a bit surprised by the number of sports cars in his driveway—four, to be exact. His house is a carbon copy of the others, but there is practically no greenery in the yard, only metal workout equipment, including a pull-up bar and some other items that are tough to make out in the dark. 

Jeongguk lets go of your hand as you approach the front entrance, and he punches in a long passcode before opening the door wide and nodding for you to enter. The living room light is already on, and as you toe out of your shoes, you find a scarcely decorated room with a couch pushed far too close to a television, and a punching bag sitting in the center of the space. 

You fail to bite back laughter, and when Jeongguk takes your hand and leads you up the stairs, he asks, "What?"

"Nothing," you mutter, eyeing the empty walls that have never been painted from their original white. "Just didn't take you for such a bro."

"Shut up," Jeongguk gripes, yanking on your arm and making you laugh even harder. 

The upstairs hallway is just as plain, and as soon as he releases your hand and switches on the light, illuminating the bright white space, you squint and turn it off.

"I need fucking sunglasses if you're going to do that," you chide.

Jeongguk continues pulling you down to the room at the end of the hallway, making you wonder what might be in the other rooms. Does he have sex dungeons just like Taehyung? Perhaps a matching throne?

Rather than switching on the overhead light in his master suite, he thumbs around his phone and opens an app. "What color would her highness like the bedroom to be?" he asks with a grin, and you get onto your tiptoes to see the screen and then press where the color wheel is purple. 

Slowly, the lights come on in an inviting deep purple glow, and you nod approvingly, then enter the space. At least his bedroom is decorated with dark walls and bedding, and some photos hung here and there. 

The four-poster bed is straight ahead, and to the right are two large leather chairs. Along the far wall, beside a large window, is a big wooden x with leather restraints on each end—two for wrists and two for ankles, you surmise. 

As you step forward, your entire body feels a little off-kilter. It is slight but enough to make you dizzy, and you hold your arms out, clenching the bottle of champagne as you mutter, "Whoa."

"Starting to kick in?" Jeongguk asks as he walks past and sets his bottle on a bedside table. 

"Maybe," you respond, unsure what it feels like for the drug to kick in. 

Jeongguk approaches, takes the bottle from your hand, and you find yourself leaning and swaying slightly with each of his movements as if your body feels desperate for his warmth. 

"Will you kiss me?" you whine, watching as Jeongguk's mouth pulls into a dopey smile and then sharpens into something much cockier. 

He turns away to place the champagne bottle down, then returns in several large steps, taking you gently by the face with both hands and pressing his lips against yours. Jeongguk groans as he sucks your bottom lip between his teeth, making you gasp. You let your mouth fall open wide, feeling excitement and arousal simmer through you, and Jeongguk licks across your tongue hungrily, moaning and growling as he tastes and teases. 

"Fuck," he pants as he releases the kiss, pressing his forehead into yours. "You are amazing. And I'm definitely coming up."

You feel tingly and electric, filled to the brim with desire and love and the need to touch and taste and enjoy. Jeongguk is warm and floral but musky, and he tastes like sour cocaine and bittersweet champagne. 

"Thirsty," you mutter as your lips chase after his.

Jeongguk kisses you more but walks you backward, toward the champagne. Rather than reach your target destination, his ass bumps into the edge of his bed, and you giggle into one another's mouths before you peel yourself away and reach for the open bottle. 

Suddenly, you feel as if you have run a marathon, and you have to stop and catch your breath. "I feel kind of overwhelmed," you admit, to which Jeongguk hums and says, "That's normal."

With the champagne in hand, Jeongguk leads you over to the large window at the far end of the room and opens it, letting in a nice cool breeze. The view is a massive, empty expanse of land with the city in the distance, and you stare across the shadows of trees and hills. 

"I feel trapped in limbo," you mutter, unsure why you are saying it aloud. 

Jeongguk wraps his arms around your waist and rests his head on your shoulder. When he asks, "Why is that?" his voice is soft and sweet. 

"I love Yoongi and Namjoon…and I care a lot about the rest of you," you turn your head, rubbing the tip of your nose against his, "especially you."

"But?"

With a sigh, you turn your gaze back to the dark outdoors. "But I don't feel safe, and I have to be heavily medicated just to sleep, now. I lost several days to the fog of starting a new medication, and both Yoongi and Namjoon are distant. I feel like everything is slipping through my fingers and it scares the shit out of me."

"Maybe you need to get away for a little while. Take a trip."

You hum and consider what he says, pushing out the thought of Seokjin's words from earlier, but then scoff, shaking your head. "Take a vacation just to return to a lifestyle of violence. I don't know, I mean, what's the point?"

"Seokjin hyung says they struck a deal with the girls in Busan. That will drastically cut back on the violence."

"But there are other families in Korea," you say without having too much evidence to back up your statement outside of comments here and there made by the men while in your presence over the many months you have been here. 

"Everyone else is neutral, and we do business with them from time to time. Our only adversaries are overseas, and it is not often that the yakuza comes to fuck with us."

A small comfort considering how quickly things could escalate, should they choose to hop on a ferry and start shit, but you accept it for now. This conversation feels too heavy, and you want to be light.

You do feel somewhat light, made of overcooked noodles, but also heavy and buoyant, and you sway your hips and close your eyes. "We need music."

"What kind of music?" Jeongguk asks, grabbing his phone and holding it out for you. 

"Anything," you mutter, "pick something."

After only a few seconds, soft R&B comes on, and the music surrounds you in a way that feels like speakers are placed along each inch of the room. You dip and sway a little deeper, following the music while dragging your ass over Jeongguk until he begins to hiss and grip at you. 

"Gonna make me hard dancing like this," he groans, nipping somewhat forcefully at your neck. 

"I think the pills have dulled my sex drive, just like you said," you complain as you lift the bottle of champagne and take a drink. The carbonation cloys your senses, but you are thirsty, and you continue drinking until you are forced to stop and take a deep breath. When you turn and hand off the bottle, Jeongguk's pupils are bloodshot, and he looks a bit sleepy. "I haven't been able to cum. It's making me lose my mind."

Jeongguk drops to his knees and sets down the bottle, and you lean back against the window, body angled with your pelvis outward, in his face. As he rubs his hands up your thighs, pushing your short black skirt higher, you watch as his eyes widen and mouth drops open. 

"No panties," Jeongguk muses, looking high as shit and happy as can be. When his gaze lifts and finds you, he shakes his head and heavy-blinks as he mutters, "You are fucking incredible."

Without another word, he sits high on his knees and licks over your cunt, sucking your clit between his lips before absolutely devouring you. The surge of pleasure that rocks through you causes you to tremble and jolt forward, and you splay your hands against the wall in an attempt to hold yourself steady. 

Jeongguk is sloppy yet practiced in the way he eats you, alternating wide, wet laps and quick little flicks of his tongue. He zeroes in on your clit, sending shockwave after shockwave through you, aided by the molly to feel better than anything has felt in days.

Although the pleasure is intense and enrapturing, your high builds and builds, only to plateau at a devastatingly high peak. You want to cum so badly, you begin grinding your pussy against Jeongguk's mouth and moaning loudly. Jeongguk grips onto your thighs and does his best to keep up with your movements, slurping and humming like a man enjoying his first meal after a long fast.

"Finger me, Jeongguk," you beg, desperate for release.

Jeongguk does as he is told, plunging his fingers hard and deep. He finds your sweet spot and fucks into it nice and fast, and that is all it takes to push you over the edge, spraying your release against his face and your thighs. Rather than slow or stop, he continues to finger fuck you while lapping at your clit, forcing you to cum once more, and you scream between deep gasps for air. 

Euphoria drowns you in its tidal wave, and you begin to spiral, suddenly needing to slow down and catch your breath. "Too much," you whimper as your knees buckle, and Jeongguk stops his movements and stands, caging you in against the window. 

"How do you feel?" he asks, pressing his lips against yours and filling your senses with your own tangy, heady taste and scent. 

"Great," you respond against him, then turn your head, still finding it hard to catch your breath. "But a little overwhelmed."

"You're probably still coming up, here," Jeongguk says, taking your hand and pulling you away from the wall while rubbing his mouth and chin clean with his forearm. It feels strange to walk, and you stumble a bit into him, leaning your weight against his chest. 

"Let's just slow dance a little," he suggests with a sweet smile, and you drape your arms around his shoulders, incapable of denying him anything. Jeongguk gently grabs your hips and begins to lead you right to left in a small circle. "How is this?"

"Nice," you sigh with a smile, resting your cheek against his chest. "Thank you."

You are unsure how long the two of you stay like this, but several songs cycle, and your high continues to build until it finally seems to even out. Although you feel less jittery and heavy-light, you still feel somewhat otherworldly, finding you have an overwhelming urge to divulge all your deepest secrets to him. Evidently, he feels the same.

"Do you think you could fall for someone like me?" Jeongguk asks, breaking a long silence and taking you by surprise. 

If you were sober, you would be absolutely panicking—possibly even running for the hills. But being this high, you simply shrug and say, "Of course, I could. Don't ask silly questions."

"Shit," he mutters, nuzzling his face against your neck as he chuckles, and you wonder if Jeon Jeongguk is actually shy? "That was too easy. And probably not something I should have asked."

You laugh as you hum and mutter, "Yeah, probably not. I don't think any good could come of us confessing those types of feelings to one another, all things considered."

"True," Jeongguk says, laughing as he stands straight and looks you in the eye. He is absolutely beaming as he says, "I'll just keep it to myself, then," and pretends to zip his lips shut.

The thought that Jeongguk could be confessing to something so large should horrify you, but all you can do is smile. You are too high and too happy to unpack anything of this magnitude right now. 

After another song, you feel the sudden, aching urge to tie Jeongguk to his bed and make him fall apart. And that is exactly what you ask him with your eyes wide and pleading. 

"Let me tie you to your bed and make you fall apart? Please?"

Jeongguk gasps and grins, nodding as he says, "There is nothing in this world I could want more."

You begin to paw at his shirt, lifting the bottom hem over his head and tossing it to the floor. Your eyes linger on the black shapes etched from his shoulder down to his fingers, then you continue the task at hand and reach for the waistline of his shorts. 

As the garment falls to the floor in a heavy thud, undoubtedly from his cell phone being in his pocket, Jeongguk steps backward, leaving it in a pile, and you realize he also wore nothing underneath his clothing. Jeongguk bends and fishes his coke vial out, then begins slowly backing between the large leather chairs toward his bed. 

"No panties," you tease, closing in on Jeongguk, who continues to walk backward toward his bed. You reach your fingertips out, dancing them over his inviting hip bones. "You are fucking incredible."

Jeongguk chuckles, fixing you with a shy smile that makes your heart melt. When the backs of his legs hit his bed, he lets out a little snort-laugh, and then he begins to unscrew his vial and sniff two piles of cocaine into each nostril. He hands the drugs to you, then he turns and begins to pull a strap out from under his mattress, which you are absolutely unsurprised to see. 

"There's one on each corner," he says, and you snort two little piles into each nostril, then close the vial tightly and toss it onto the comforter. You take the hint and round the end of the bed, fishing around for another strap, and when you find it, you pull it out, and set it on the corner of the mattress. 

As you move to the head of the bed and find the last strap, Jeongguk gets onto the mattress, on his hands and knees and crawls into the center. "Want me lying down or sitting up?" he asks, and you lick your lips before saying, "Lie down."

Jeongguk settles in the center and pulls his hands over his head, and you get onto the bed on your knees and begin to restrain him, starting with one wrist, and then leaning over him with your chest hanging in his face to restrain the other. 

To your surprise, the straps seem to be the perfect length to keep Jeongguk spread without there being much give. Once his ankles are in place, you crawl up to him and settle between his legs, bending close to breathe warmth against his hard, pretty cock. 

Jeongguk whimpers and writhes in his restraints, and you lean to the side, slowly dragging your lips over the soft, supple skin of his thigh. He smells musky and familiar in a way that clenches at your heart, and suddenly, the weight of his confession moments ago begins to sink and settle through you, digging its claws in deep. 

Do you think you could fall for someone like me? Asked so simply and casually, as if one asks about the weather. 

Perhaps it is the combination of substances working their way through your system, but you begin to feel claustrophobic and nauseous, and you squeeze your eyes closed. Something simmers and sticks in the back of your throat, and all you can do is gasp for air. 

"Doll?" Jeongguk asks, voice lilted with worry, and you swallow the lump and plaster on a smile, determined to make him feel just as good as he made you feel. You must do it; you need to.

"Just a little overwhelmed," you mutter, dragging your lips and teeth over the meat of his thigh, toward the musky shaved pubes at the base of his very inviting cock. 

You wet your lips and drag them up and down his shaft, flicking your tongue out to coat it in as much saliva as you can muster, but your mouth is fucking dry from the drugs, and it stresses you out. 

"Need the champagne," you whine as you sit up quickly and turn to hop-slide off the bed. 

But you may as well be landing on the moon as you teeter and sway and stumble. You hold your arms out somewhat for balance and struggle to remember just how gravity works as you get your footing and rush over to the neglected champagne bottle by the window. 

All the while, you attempt to pep talk yourself, chugging the tepid bittersweet liquid that is so heavily carbonated it fills your mouth like a gas, until you have no choice but to burp. And then you return to the bed, repeating in your head that this is something you want to do more than anything, and that it should be okay for you to love Jeongguk, if only for tonight. 

Tomorrow you can unpack it and spiral accordingly, but tonight, you need to just enjoy the ride. You want to enjoy the ride. 

Either Jeongguk can sense that something is off, or it is written clearly on your face, because his brows are knit, and his head is tilted upward as far as it can be with the restraints holding his arms splayed up and out. 

"You're so handsome," you slur as you approach the bed, and set the bottle down on the small table, then you grip onto the comforter with both fists and hoist yourself back up onto the mattress. You mean it when you ask, "How did I get this lucky?"

You straddle Jeongguk's chest and lean forward, giving him an eyeful of a glistening wet pussy that he can't reach with his hands or lips while you lean forward and swallow his cock whole. Your mouth is still a little too dry, so you press him in nice and deep, forcing yourself to slowly gag from lack of oxygen while saliva pools and pools under your tongue. 

"Fuck, holy shit, doll," Jeongguk whimpers from behind you, urging you on further. You suck his cock forcefully, desperate to milk him, and listen to him sob. Jeongguk is vocal, moaning and bleating and begging while he writhes in his restraints, hips bucking and trembling beneath you. 

You stick a finger into your mouth to wet it, then reach under Jeongguk's balls to rub little circles against his rim, and he loses it—yanking on the restraints while singing long, pretty notes of pleasure. 

Without warning, he cums in your mouth, and you gag, letting some of it hit your soft palate before dripping past your lips. But you swallow the rest, sucking on his tip and moaning while he shoots rope after rope onto the back of your tongue. 

"Holy fuck," Jeongguk sobs. "Oh my fucking god!" 

You feel elated and higher than before, humming and pleased with yourself for making him cum in what has felt like mere minutes. 

"Please let me taste you, noona," he begs, and you sit up slightly and back into his face, shoving your pussy and ass against his mouth and only giving him enough room to lick and suck desperately, but not enough room to breathe. 

When you move away, he whimpers, and you decide that you want to be even more high than you already are. The goal was to get fucked up and out of your head, and here you are, lodged so deep in your swirling thoughts that you fear you might just go mad. 

"Mind if I do more coke?" you ask as you crawl forward past Jeongguk's torso and settle haphazardly between his legs. The vial is right where you left it, and you reach for it before he can respond. 

You snort two little piles into each nostril—four total—and then screw the lid back on before tossing it aside and turning to face your prize. Jeongguk is covered in a sheen of sweat, eyes blown wide as the heavens, and you reach for his half-hard cock and begin stroking it back to life. 

"Damn, it takes you no time at all to get hard again," you mutter with a smirk, falling slightly forward as you attempt to straddle and crawl up him. 

Jeongguk's expression is a mix of desire and concern, and when you finally have your hands planted on both sides of his head, you lean low and close, breasts spilling from your dress, as you take his bottom lip between his teeth and suck hard enough to make him shout.

"You really fucked me up with what you said," you chuckle against his lips, feeling your heart squeeze in your chest. The overwhelm has returned, and you press your forehead against his, fighting for air. "Why did you—" you croak, suddenly overcome with the urge to sob. 

You do not want to fall for Jeongguk. You cannot do something so foolish.

Jeongguk struggles in his restraints, yanking his hands downward and attempting to sit up, but rather than help him, all you can do is lean into him and cry. Everything is so fucking messed up, and you need it to go back to normal. You cannot possibly stay with this family if things do not go back to some semblance of normal; being here and feeling so much worry and heartache is eating you alive. 

"Noona, undo my restraints," Jeongguk urges, yanking his wrists uselessly downward. They are only cloth straps held together by velcro, but the angle and distance of them make it hard for him to reach one hand with the other. 

Jeongguk struggles, and all you can do is sink further, burying your face into his neck while a never-ending stream of sadness pours from you. It feels strange to be this devastated because you also feel an outpouring of love and affection—happiness that is so strong and present, it fucking terrifies you. 

"I can't—" you sob, unsure what you are referring to, just certain that everything is too much and all of it needs to stop. 

"Dollface, hey," Jeongguk pleads before saying your first name, "please let me out of the restraints."

"Jeongguk," you whine, tears and snot coating your face, which smear onto his neck. "I can't do this anymore. I can't stand it."

Jeongguk groans and strains hard as he reaches to undo his wrists, and you cling to him as all the emotion drains from your face with loud heaving breaths and deep, rattling sobs. You hear the tearing of velcro, one after the other, and then Jeongguk wraps his arms tightly around you while sitting the two of you up, cradling you in between his thighs. 

"Oh, baby," he mutters lowly against your temple, hands and arms doing their best to comfort you while he gently rocks back and forth. "I'm so sorry. I had no idea the drugs would make you feel this way."

"I'm sorry," you whine, drawing out each syllable, feeling utterly ashamed and embarrassed. The sweat on your skin has turned cold, and you shiver in his arms. "I feel really, really fucking happy too, but it just…I'm so scared, Jeongguk. I'm so fucking scared."

 “It’s okay to be scared. I’m here for you,” Jeongguk says your name, placing a firm, slow kiss against your temple, making you shudder out a sob. “I’ll hold you until you feel better.”

You know that he is here for you—that he would hold you through absolutely anything. And that just adds to the ineffable pile of terrifying possibilities. 

“I’m too high to sleep,” you whimper, sniffling pathetically as your exhale shakes through your mouth. 

“Me too, baby, don’t worry,” Jeongguk chuckles, squeezing you tightly in his embrace. “I got you, don’t worry. You’re safe with me.”

True to his word, Jeongguk does hold you until you feel better. For hours, you sit on his bed, muttering through half-truths about your fears and your loves, your hopes and your dreams. When you shower off the cold sweat, you lean into his chest, and when he dresses you in a sweatshirt and joggers that swallow you whole, he keeps at least one arm around you at all times.

As the sun rises high, you finally stop shivering from the comedown, Jeongguk carries you home on his back, and you smile as the sunlight warms your cheeks. The only time Jeongguk lets go of you is when you find Namjoon standing out by the front door, smoking a joint. 

Namjoon’s smile shines as bright as the early afternoon sun, and as you slide down Jeongguk’s back, setting your feet onto the ground, you run into Namjoon’s arms, throwing yourself into him, catching a whiff of welcoming musk and the skunky stench of weed. 

“Sweetheart, did the two of you have fun?”

You smile brightly and only half-lie when you say yes because, despite all the tears, your heart feels so full. 

“Thanks, Jeongguk,” you say as you release Namjoon and turn around. 

Jeongguk stares at the ground for a beat, then he looks up and smiles. There is an unmistakable sadness in his eyes, and you fight the urge to run back to him. 

“Thanks for the late night booty call, dollface,” he says with a wink, clearly doing his best to cover whatever else is going on in his mind. 

You watch as Jeongguk waves and spins on his heels, walking back to the gravel path. 

“You two are so cute,” Namjoon says sweetly as he engulfs you in a warm, familiar hug. 

"Is that so?" you ask as you spin in Namjoon’s hold and wrap your arms around his middle. 

He seems to have lightened up, and he hums in agreement, making you smile. You feel eager to enjoy your day with him. You have cried rivers in the past several days, and all you want is to breathe easily and feel happy. Even if someone important is missing. 

“I spoke to Yoongi,” Namjoon says, making you gasp and take a step back. His smile is soft and inviting, dimples creasing his cheeks with bloodshot eyes, and you stare expectedly. “What do you say we fly to Hong Kong tomorrow and bring him home?”

Frantically, you nod, feeling your heart boom in your chest. Namjoon takes one more drag of his withering joint and flicks it out into the driveway.

“He regrets creating distance and he wants to talk about it in person,” Namjoon says, eyes trailing left to right as if reading your face. “Rest assured that we have done nothing to push him away.”

You wish you could believe him, but there is physical proof of something you have done to potentially make Yoongi want distance. But you smile and accept this explanation, for now. 

“Are you hungry?” Namjoon asks, releasing his hug, leaving just an arm around your waist. 

“Starving!” you exaggerate, feeling an empty pit grumbling where your stomach should be. 

The front door is propped open, and Namjoon kicks out of his slippers while you leave behind your ballet flats, then he leads you into the kitchen. 

“I’ve been craving eggs benedict, so i had the chef whip up some hollandaise sauce. Does that sound good to you?”

You glance up with a grin and say, “Awe, I was hoping you might burn the mansion down making me an omelet.”

Namjoon digs his fingers into your ribs, making you double over and squeal, grumbling about how he is not that bad of a cook. 

With your hands held high, you shout, “I submit! You’re an amazing cook!” while tears pool in your tired eyes. 

Namjoon halts his attack on your sides and ushers you along on wobbly legs to the kitchen. 

"Are these Gguk's clothes?" he asks brightly, tugging at the oversized hoodie near your ribs. 

You nod and look up at his bright, smiling face, basking in this moment of happiness. You tell yourself that, above all, you desperately need everything to work out and be okay, if only so that you can continue to have moments like these with the people you love. 

No matter what, things need to be okay. 

It's about time we get it straight Gimme a minute if it ain't too late It sounds about right, this can't be forced, babe 대충 무리였나봐, babe It shouldn't feel like this 애먼 기분만 해친 채 Hurts too much already 버티기가 이만큼 힘든데 Stay with me 'til the end of the day

Maybe we Could be Slow dancing Until the morning We could be romancing The night away

🎵 visit the playlist

a few little side notes: i didn't want to name what drug mc is taking because she's not having the best time, so i didn't want to stigmatize medication that anyone takes irl. like...we all know Xanax is used in wack/recreational ways, so that one feels ok to say by name, i guess?

anyway...the experiences mc has while on a cocktail of medications/drugs may not look the same as how your body may react to these, and that is okay. please do not bother me about how your experiences may differ with xanax and other medications, or molly and medications. (but for the sake of argument, i will say that sometimes when you do antidepressants and molly, the serotonin high hits too hard and fast and it can cause a very fast physical and emotional crash, which is why mc does not experience the pure euphoria that you might come to know and love from that drug.) it feels so weird to me when people hit me up to argue about this kind of stuff because everyone's bodies and brains are different, so please don't. this is a work of fiction above all else.

all that being said, i know i have said it before, but i will keep saying it: this story is sad, sad, sad from here on out. the overall end goal is something happy, but it won't feel that way for a while.

reblogs and comments are the lifeblood of this site, but likes are also super appreciated!!! thank you for reading, i love you!!!

a namjoon pov scene takes place between this chapter and the next one, where he devises a plan to get Yoongi back and has a heart-to-heart with mc. you can access his pov here (or learn parts of it in later chapters from the reader’s perspective!)

tag lists will be on separate reblogs! they’ve gotten too big to contain as one!

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Collateral is copyright 2022-2023 theharrowing, all rights reserved.

[justoneday-namjoonii]

It burns, doesn't it? [Pt.22]

genre: mafia!au, angst

warnings: mature, mafia activity, illegal business activity, non-explicit sexual/sensual content, toxic relationships, mentions of drugs, smoking, m*rder, language, and suggestive language, an attempt at a slow burn. If this content could potentially trigger you, please proceed with caution or do not proceed♥️

pairing: jungkook x reader x (yoongi)

authors note: It has been a long time, but I'm back☺︎ will come back to edit this later ! Please see my master list for previous parts <3

word count: 6k+

summary: The mafia tore your life apart, if it wasn’t for your will to live, it would have taken you out a long time ago. After everything, the heartbreak, betrayal and lies, you’ve emerged with a purpose—you’re apart of a family now. They won’t let you lay down and die—no matter how much you want to

━━━━━━━༺❀༻━━━━━━━ 

He was ripped from his sleep by the corrections officer who hated him the most. Couldn’t stand that attitude, that body full of ink and a grimace forever plastered on his boyish face.

“You have a meeting with your lawyer, get presentable,”

A few months ago, he would have shot back a snarky remark or maybe even stayed in bed. That rebellion simmered out not long ago, there’s not much fight left in him now. When he was let out, given a roommate, and left to socialize amongst the other inmates—he got into a bad fight. He took more damage than the other guy.

He found out that a notorious arms dealer was shot and killed. Word on the street is, it’s Jeon Jungkook’s fault.

Jungkook went into shock, numb. He got hit in the head so hard that he went unconscious. He would learn to be grateful for that state of unconsciousness. It was either that or erupting in a hysterical fit.

Now, sometimes he cries in his cell at night and sleeps all day. He never ate the provided meals before, but now, he at least picks at it. It’s evident in his just slightly hollowed cheeks, he’s lost some weight, 

He simply nods at the grumpy officer and drags himself up and out. This is not a reality he ever prepared himself to experience, he took his family for granted. Namjoon was there, he would always be there, that’s what he thought. He did not want to grieve here, not in this hell—maybe it’s what he deserves.

The officers take him to shower alone while the other inmates are still locked down, he’s become a sort of target. For his safety, this is what has to be done. He gets dressed in the same dingy outfit and they take him to the room.

Junghyun shortly after.

“Jungkook, are you okay? You look,” He scans him over, “not good—like shit to be honest.” Jungkook only glances up briefly.

“They told me you were in an altercation and got beat up pretty bad,” He takes a seat, eyes scanning him over, “Are you okay?

“I’m fine,” He mumbles.

“Alright,” He sighs, “Mr. Choi will be in soon, he thinks you have a good chance of getting out.”

“Hyung,” Jungkook calls him by his affection title for the first time in years, eyes trained on the table, “Don’t do this.”

“I’m going to help you, whether you think you deserve it or not, you’re my brother,”

The silence pangs, and Jungkook doesn’t even look up.

“Look,” He rests a hand on Jungkook’s bruised knuckles, “I just want to get you out of here, okay? And maybe we can find Kim Y/n-“

“Sorry I’m a bit late, had a few documents to submit,” The lawyer walks in with a nice suit and slicked back hair, “it’s nice to meet you, Mr. Jeon,”

“Likewise,” Jungkook replies in a dull tone.

“First, let me ask you a few questions,” The lawyer takes a seat, snatching a few papers out of his briefcase before setting it aside, “I know you have mafia affiliation but to what extent?”

“What do you mean?”

“Could we say that you’re associated or an active member? And if so, how long?”

“I-…I don’t want to do this,” He stands to his feet, cuffed hands pushing him away from the table.

“Jungkook,” Junghyun gives the lawyer an apologetic expression as he goes to whisper something in Jungkook’s ear, “what is going on with you? He has to know these things so he can build your case.”

“I don’t care about the fucking case,” He grits his teeth, “whatever deal you’re trying to make with me, it’s gonna screw me over in the end, and you both know it,”

“Excuse me, but Jeon has a call,” one of the administrative officials peeks in.

“From who?” 

Both Jeon’s say in unison.

“He says he’s an uncle of yours.”

They look at one another, both their father was an only child and their mother had one sister. They don’t have an uncle.

≿━━━━━━━━༺❀༻━━━━━━━━━≾ 

3 months ago

His hands fell from your face, leaving your skin bare to the cool air, “I need to get back out there.”

He steps away from you, unlocking the bathroom stall door. You place your hand over his larger hand before he can fully open the door.

“You probably shouldn’t be seen with me like this…” You trail off, not wanting to further explain. You look at him with weary eyes, and the idea of someone seeing you two walk out of the bathroom together crosses your mind. “I’ll stay-“

“I don’t care who sees us,” He corrects you without hesitation, “let’s go.”

He walks out anyway, leading you out of the cramped stall. The states you get churn your insides. You force yourself to ignore the curious stares from the women inside. No one pays you any mind once you leave the restroom. If anything, they act like they don’t you.

When the hostess notices Yoongi approach with you by his side, she opens the doors with much haste.

“We got the last bid, I went 5 over but it was worth it,” Taehyung is the first to speak and he glances at you. Yoongi nods, ensuring he sits beside you despite your stiff body language.

The night went on and you remained quiet.

Feelings of regret crept their way into your mind. You proclaimed your love to a man before, who said he would die for you, the man you once lived for. But you’re not bound to him anymore, it’s hard to get used to. He abandoned you, he made you feel like a liar—he was insecure, and so were you.

The drive back home was painfully awkward. You rode back with Yoongi and the consequences of your actions started to eat you alive. He won’t even look at you, it just embarrasses you further, forcing you to perseverate. 

"About earlier, in the bathroom," You begin, not prepared to say much more than that.

“It was just a kiss,” He speaks low, to keep this conversation from the driver, "don't look too deep into it."

“Ok…” You gaze out of the window, the engine and the occasional passing of streetlights distract you enough. ≿ ━━━━━━━━━━༺❀༻━━━━━━━━━━≿

The house had fallen into a hush over the past few months, and security heightened significantly. More members were assigned as round-the-clock guards. They patrolled around with vigilant eyes, their fingers never far from the cold metal of their guns. 

Yet, amid this fortress-like home, you found peace. The house staff have embraced you as if you were a long-lost member of the family. They treat you too well, providing clean linens like a hotel, and tasty meals, making you feel like royalty.

Ayeong has especially made this transition easy, she's the reason you're able to get up every morning and find purpose in something. 

When you arrived at the estate, you grappled with a sense of loneliness and haunting thoughts. It was Ayeong's compassionate and motherly nature that extended a gentle hand to pull out of that dark place. 

With ample free time at your disposal, you found yourself shadowing her through the day, mainly in the kitchen. 

She listened to you, not out of pity, but because she wanted to know you. In the delicate ebb and flow of conversation, she provided insights into the complex dynamics of the household. Yet, the lessons extended far beyond cooking; they touched on life, love, and, most intriguingly, the enigmatic figure who led it all, Yoongi.

You’ve unintentionally given much of the kitchen staff a break, making yourself her designated sous chef. It’s been nostalgic to get scolded when you over-season the dish she left you alone with, to get praised when your spontaneous flavor combinations taste good. She’s warm with you, taking you in like a granddaughter.

“Oh wow, this is so good,” Boyoung, her 10-year-old grandson who accompanies her every now and then smiles brightly, “how can you cook so well? This is better than nanas!”

“Boyoung, don’t say that!” You laugh, a bit flustered, “You’re gonna get me in trouble.”

“But it’s true! It’s better-“

"Ok ok, thank you," You shake your head, "Go wash up and I’ll fix you a bowl before you go.”

“Ok!” He runs to the bathroom with haste.

Just as he runs out, Ayoung comes back into the kitchen. “Between you and I, that little boy is going to be spoiled rotten,”

“He won’t be a kid forever,” You stir the pot gently, “it’s ready by the way,”

“Perfect, I was just about to let Yoongi know,” She notices how you always look a bit disinterested at the mention of him, “maybe I can get him to eat outside of that cave of his for once, I swear he’s a spitting image of his father, bad habits and all,”

“Yeah,” You agree awkwardly, “well, I’ll go wash up and I’ll be back,”

“Could you let him know? Tell him he needs to come out, I’m not bringing it this time,” She shakes her head, adamant, “he needs to come up for air,” 

You grit your teeth, “You want me to tell him?”

Ayeong has tried to get you two alone for the last few weeks. She seems to want to see him loosen up a bit, the stress he’s under tends to pull him away from what’s good for him she says. But he hasn’t said more than a simple greeting. You haven’t pursued a conversation either, he’s been too busy. Uninterested in anything that could even be close to a distraction, that includes you.

“If you could, I need to make sure Boyoung washes up this time,” She walks off to the washroom, leaving you with that daunting task.

The leather office chair knows Yoongi better than anyone these days. He’s been buried deep in the contracts, numbers, and logistical crap. Hoseok normally does this but he’s out on a short leave, a family emergency. So he’s doing it all, taking it all on his shoulders—it hasn’t been easy.

A knock on the door takes him from his thoughts. 

“Come in,” he expects to see Ayeong so he only glances up briefly, but he does a double take. There you stand, stepping through the door, and he softens at the side of you.

“Hi,” 

“Hi,” He repeats, “is everything ok?”

“Yes, everything’s fine, dinner is ready,” 

He's still in a dress shirt but the tie is long gone, as well as a few buttons unclasped. You forget that despite the illegal discrepancies of this job, it's still a business, they have to look the part.

He fixates on you for a moment, this is the first time in a while that he’s just looked at you. That dress, one he hasn't seen in ages. Of all the things you could wear, he would have never expected to see this.

He's brought back to his childhood for a blink. When his father was happy to have a son, not just a successor.

His mother would put on this dress sometimes, his father said it brought out her eyes. This dress—he remembered her in it when they were happy. At this moment in time, he remembers what it was like to feel real happiness. 

"What?" You question, bringing attention to his gawking. 

"Thank you," He breathes out, eyes dipping down into his papers again, "can you ask her to bring-"

"You look tired," You cut him off, "You should come out and eat with us, it'll be nice, plus Ayeong said she won’t bring you anything if you don’t agree."

He cocks his head to the side. "Us?" 

"Her grandson, she had to watch him after school," You grin to yourself, "I'm surprised you didn't hear him running down the hall,”

"Right, right she told me about that," He sighs, glancing at the piles of paper that he'd rather not spend any more time with, "I'll join you, just let me close this up, I'll be out shortly."

"Alright," Your eyes brightened a bit and he could swear you were hiding excitement, "I'll let her know."

When you enter the kitchen, Ayeong notices your attempts at hiding a smile. “What did he say?”

"He'll be out shortly," You head to the sink to clean up the remaining few dishes, and that's when you notice her seating arrangements. 

"Ayeong, you only set the table for two?“

"I completely forgot! I have to take Boyoung to his mom, she won't be able to pick him up tonight,"

She planned this shit. You bite your inner cheek, keeping your irritated remark to yourself. "But I promised Boyoung he could have some of what I cooked, he's gonna be upset-"

"Already packed him a bowl," She definitely planned this, "I can't believe he agreed to come out, do you know how many times I asked him to come out of that stuffy office? He's as stubborn as a mule that one," She removes her apron, hanging with the others near the pantry, "I never thought it was possible—he must have a soft spot for you.”

Before you refute any of her nonsense, she's out the door with Boyoung waving goodbye with that adorable smile. 

"Sorry, it took me a minute," Yoongi appears around the corner with rolled-up sleeves, "everything smells great." He takes a look around, surprised to only see you, and only two seats set up at the dining table.

"Ayeong just took Boyoung home, she didn't tell me they weren't joining…” You try to hide your disappointment with a nonchalant tone, "if you want to take your plate I'll just eat in my room-"

"I don’t mind having dinner with you, I could honestly use the break from work,"

"Oh, ok…” You nod with a timid smile, "You can sit, I'll fix the plates,”

"You don't have to do that,"

"It’s alright," You persist, "I don’t mind,”

He does as he’s told and sits at the head of the table, patiently waiting for you.

“Here you go,” You sit his plate down after yours, “sir,” You joke, trying to lighten the mood, “is it weird that all of the staff call you that?” 

“No,” He looked amused, not expecting your playfulness, “it’s protocol, except for the elders of course,”

Quickly, you say your grace and take your first bite. It’s safe to say this is the best meal you’ve ever made. 

“Wow, this is good,” Yoongi takes another bite with furrowed brows, “what did she put in this?”

“I cooked,” You stammer a bit, “do you like it?”

“Did you?” He gives you a look of approval. “It’s good, better than Ayeong’s if I’m being honest, but don’t tell her I said that,” He makes a playfully serious expression, causing a genuine laugh to spill from your lips

“Thank you,” He can see the blush forming on your cheeks, you're grateful he doesn't bring attention to it, “I’ve been helping her for a few weeks, it’s been nice getting to know her,”

“She told me, you’ve been a nice change for her and the other staff,” He sets his fork down, “they’re happy to finally have a normal person to dote over,”

“Normal?”

“Oh, I guess I’m getting back to my normal self then,” You’re proud to say that out loud, there was a point where you never thought you’d say that.

“Your dress,” He comments on the last thing you thought he’d be interested in, “is it new?"

“Oh,” You subconsciously touch the fabric, “Ayeong told me I could pick something from one of the closets, was that ok?” 

“Of course, I only ask because- ” He stares at the necklace on your chest for a moment, his heart jolts, “it looks nice on you.”

“Thank you…” You blush, not having expected the compliment.

When Yoongi speaks, you’ve learned that his words are his true feelings. He doesn’t care to sugarcoat much and he doesn’t talk a lot, but what he does say is meaningful.

Dinner continued in comfortable silence. Surface conversation would come and go in between bites, keeping any awkwardness from settling. Soon, the plates were empty and before you could get up to take the dishes, one of the staff came by to take them during conversation. You furrow your brows, wanting to clean up after yourself.

‘Ana, I’ll get it-‘

“Miss, it’s my job,” She smiles, eyes pleasing for you to let this go, it looks good for her to be insisting in front of the boss anyway. You give in, not wanting to make her feel obsolete in front of Yoongi.

“The food was great and you were,” He pauses for a moment, “you were good company.” 

“You too,” You grin from ear to ear, “we’ll have to do this again,” 

“Definitely,” He offers a real smile before disappearing back to his cave.

As you make your way back to your bedroom, you’re met with the youngest of the housekeepers, Yaerim, Ayeong’s niece. She’s taking the rest of your dirty clothes from the bathroom basket. A task you’ve warned her to stop insisting on; it’s the least you can do.

“Oh, hi Y/n, I’ll be out of your way! I was just getting your clothes washed up.”

“You don’t have to keep doing that,” You exasperate, “if you show me how to use the washer, I can do it Yaerim,”

“With all due respect, the boss asked me to take care of you, so that’s what I’ll do,” She offers a kind smile, “I wouldn’t want to upset him, I’m fairly new so this is my first time meeting him…”

“He asked you to do this?…” 

She nods.

“You should have told me sooner, you don’t need to do this for me, I can do a lot for myself actually, I don’t have anything better to do.”

“To be honest,” She sighs, leaning against the wall, “there aren’t many people my age working here so…It’s nice to be around you- I’m sorry, is that weird to say?”

“Not at all, I like being around you too,” You smile, “I don’t have any girlfriends, I haven’t for a while,”

“Well, we can be friends then!” She exclaims, “I’m 19 and this is my first job, auntie was nice to offer this to me, I don’t have experience doing much else,”

“I used to clean with my aunt before she went back to nursing, I enjoyed it,” You take a seat on the edge of the bed beside her, “I eventually found something I was passionate about and went to college.”

“Did you graduate?”

“Unfortunately, no.”

Her expression turns grim. “Oh, was it a financial thing or was it just not for you?”

“Neither, it’s a long story,”

“I’m not too busy, are you?” She makes a valid point.

That night was the first time you had ever told anyone about your life. There were moments where she looked stunned, others she had to push her tears down. 

≿━━━━━━━━━━━━━༺❀༻━━━━━━━━━━━━≾ 

The news ran rampant on the streets. Notorious arms dealer, Kim Namjoon, was shot and killed in an ambush. Jeon Jungkook was there, he was supposed to die, not their leader. There was a price on Jungkook’s head, it was something everyone knew but no one spoke of. Every day, tensions grew between Jungkook and the group. It was unsaid but painfully obvious, that he was the boss’s favorite even with his wavering loyalties to the job. 

Namjoon’s memorial is today. 

The family came and you could see where he got his looks from, as well as his demeanor. They all mingle, but Yoongi spends a particularly long time with Namjoon’s mother. 

“How could this happen?” She presses a hand to his shoulder and Yoongi purses his lips, looking down solemnly. “I feared this would happen one day,“ She began to weep and you stayed far from the group after that.

After a while, you find yourself outside to get some fresh air, the woman beside you must have had the same idea.

“How did you know him?” She pulls out a cigarette, not bothering to light it yet.

“It’s a little complicated.”

“Hm, he was my brother…” She glances at you, the cigarette lit In between her fingers. “I knew this might happen one day, but I could have never prepared for it—it doesn’t seem real.”

“Can you ever prepare for losing someone? I’ve lost a few people in my life and I’ve never felt prepared…not even a little bit.”

“Comforting.” She scoffs.

“Y/N,”

You look back and see Taehyung lingering in the corridor and beckoning you to come to him. With a heavy sigh, you walk over, excusing yourself politely. 

“What?” 

“You’ve met Geongmin,” He stares, as the woman from another life blows puffs of smoke in the air, he never knew her to be a smoker. “I need to talk to her, privately,”

You glance back at her and just as soon as you open your mouth to say something, he’s making his way over to her. That’s a relationship you never knew of. Namjoon’s sister and Taehyung, you could see that—perhaps.

“I didn’t think I’d see you here,”

“He’s my brother,” She turns to him with a scowl on her face, she wears red lipstick and her cheeks are just as red from the cold, “I didn’t hate him.”

“We haven’t talked in a long time,” He leans up against the patio railing, “it’s been too long, I think,”

“The last time we talked, you were off your meds,” She drops the cigarette in the ashtray, “Namjoon can’t make excuses for you, now both of our favorite people are gone.”

“I’ve missed you,” He confesses, staring off into nowhere in particular, “even more now.”

“Don’t,” She frowns, “I just happen to be the only one left…it’s only convenient to miss me.”

He’s in the car, sitting across from Akane.

“It has to be some elaborate joke…” 

“The shot wasn’t at close range, from what I heard, it could have been a misfire,” Yoongi concludes, “either way…he’s gone, I was with him when he left us.”

“How are you handling that? You’ve known him since you were kids…”

“In this world,” Yoongi sighs against the phone, “it’s just another work day.”

“Who’s taking over the arms business?”

“It can run itself with a few signatures from me, I’m thinking about Taehyung, he knows the business well, he was an understudy,”

“Hm, well, I heard about Jeon Jungkook, what do you plan to do about him?” 

“Nothing.” He takes out a cigarette from the case in the drink holder.

“Cold,”

“He got himself in that situation, he can get himself out. He caused a lot of problems, for innocent people,”

“I didn’t know you cared that much about innocent people,” She scoots close to the door, resting her hand on the handle before showing him an amused smile, “didn’t think you had a heart for people like that.”

She exits the car and he signals the driver to head out.

He glances at the driver who nods, preparing to pull out of the parking space. That’s when Yoongi glances out of the window and sees you approaching the moving vehicle. You were supposed to come with him earlier, you’re late of course.

“Stop the car,” Yoongi scoots from one side of the back seat to the other, to make space for you. He quickly opens the door, letting you slide in.

“Hey, I didn’t see you walk out,” You let out an uneasy breath, "sorry,"

Yoongi puts out the cigarette and you glance at him, knowing if it was for you.

“You’re fine,” He doesn’t say anything after that, he instead takes out a folder and starts reading. You glance over at it, reading a few names.

“We’ll be there within the hour, sir,” 

Yoongi seems a bit solemn, that’s a usual sight to see lately. Soon, you arrive at the destination and you still have no clue what you’re doing here. When he neglects to invite you into where he’s going, you simply watch him leave the vehicle and disappear inside.

“Miss,” He looks at you through the rearview mirror, “don’t be worried, the Min’s have to make difficult decisions and they can be rather quiet, they always have, no need to worry.”

You offer him a smile. He wouldn’t know that your feelings for Yoongi are mixed, that you worry about him in a way you probably shouldn't. In no time at all, you see him walking out with a woman by his side. Yoongi abruptly opens the car door.

“What is this?” You frown.

“I’m dropping you off,” He glances at the woman he brought out, “Sal will pick you up later.”

“Who is she?” You eye the woman.

“Heize, she’s doing me a favor,” upon hearing that, you ease out of the vehicle, “she’ll take care of you,” He presses a reassuring hand to your back, guiding you towards the woman. 

“Let’s go ahead inside, the tests are going to take a while.” 

Tests?

“What do you do exactly?”

“I work in identity,” She walks you inside a small office space, “did he not tell you why you were here?”

“He doesn’t tell me much,” You shrug, shaking your head at the ridiculousness of it all, “I also didn’t ask.”

“We’re making a new identity, as a precautionary measure.”

You didn’t expect to be giving blood, urine, and saliva samples today. After waiting a considerable amount of time, Heize dismisses the girl she had drawn your blood and leads you back to her office. She’s a quiet person. She doesn’t say much, doesn’t look too long, doesn’t move too fast—she sort of a book-nerd type, unsuspecting.

“How long have you known Yoongi?” 

“Years.”

She neglects to look at you, too busy typing away at her computer. 

“How long have you been doing this?”

“A long time.”

You nod to yourself. “Has it ever…Failed? Has someone’s identity been revealed even after all of this?

She pauses, finally looking up at you. “You ask a lot of questions.”

“Shouldn’t I know what the risks are? It is my life,”

“There are risks to everything, it’s no different than being issued a passport, what are the chances of getting your name misprinted?”

“Not high… but not zero.”

“We'll, can’t argue with that,” She shrugs.

You had no clue, but Yoongi had this all planned out. 

Your way out, your final departure from this life. 

You’ve adjusted to some sense of normalcy at his family estate. You read, you cook, clean, and take care of little things around the house. It feels natural, normal. Life here is never too fast or too slow.

It felt reassuring to have someone around, to have stability—and consistency. After a hard day, his comfort was normally found in a glass of whiskey or the next readily available alcohol. Cigarettes, once a reliable source of solace, had dwindled into a boring pastime. After the memorial, he lit one for the first time in what seemed like ages, extinguishing it swiftly as you joined him in the car. 

Now, he prays to heaven for grace, knowing that this new coping mechanism would ignite Jin's wrath if ever unveiled. Grace or no grace, deep in his heart, he knows Jin would have his head if he knew the truth.

You step into the office after a gentle knock, knowing your entrance would be granted either way.

“Hi,” You wave, seeing that his tie is still tight around his neck, and cuff links are still secured and shiny.

“Hey,” He offers a half-hearted greeting, “did you have dinner yet?”

“No, is that the only time you want to spend with me?” You ask a genuine question, your expression timid as you avoid direct eye contact.

“Course not,” He gently closes his laptop, reaching up to pull off his slowly suffocating tie, “but it is a bit of a routine now, isn’t it?” His gaze dips down, seeing that you haven’t changed out of your formal dress. 

“You should get changed, I should be done by then.”

“I think I’ll wait a bit,” You purse your lips, l don’t get to dress up very often,” You rub the hem between your fingers, “I like to enjoy it while it lasts, don’t you?”

When he neglects to give a verbal response, you step closer to his desk, leaning up against the side closest to him. He shakes his head, an endeared expression on his face, now fiddling with buttons on his collar shirt.

“Well, don’t you?” You tilt your head.

“Hm,” He leans back with a deep sigh, “never really thought about it, I suppose it’s nice,”

The longer he’s gotten to know you, the less he desires to be alone.

His life has been everything nonstop, all the time. No time to wade in his thoughts, and daydream about a better life. He used to chastise himself for even thinking about a life without the mafia. He’s never lived a peaceful life, free from strife and trauma, so much fucking trauma. If he were honest, even a taste of it used to scare him. If he were to indulge in even a glimmer of a normal life, he would desire it. He’d kill for it. But he can’t enjoy a life like that. He doesn’t deserve peace, how could he? He’s stolen it from so many people. And here he is, trying to return it to one of his many victims.

There’s another knock at the door. 

“Supper is ready,” Ayeong says from outside the door.

“Ayeong, can you come in?” He beckons her inside, “I need to speak to you for a moment,” 

You quickly get the message to give them some privacy and you slip out, closing the door behind you.

“Yes?”

“Tomorrow,” He gets up to stretch his legs and roll his sleeves to his elbows, “take her out for a bit, she can get clothes, anything she needs.”

“Of course,” Her face lights up, “she’d like that, but Yoongi in all honesty, this doesn’t seem like it needed to be a private conversation.”

“It’s not necessary that she know I’m having you do this,”

“I’m sorry,” She regrets this as soon as it leaves her mouth, “but why?”

“Because I said so.”

“Fine,” She huffs, not hiding her disappointment, "I’ll take her out in the morning.”

“Stay out until after 9, and I only need essential staff here tomorrow.”

"Very well," She turns to leave but stops to look at him. He's already staring down at one of his contracts. "…You know, it wouldn't hurt to tell her how you feel, a woman deserves at least that-"

"Don't," His tone is stern but mindful to be respectful, "don't start that."

"Yoongi, I can’t want better for you?" She stares, disappointed in his avoidant antics. "All I’m saying is, think about letting your guard down and enjoying someone for once, while you’re still young, your father missed out on that-“

"Is that why you put her in my mother's dress? Do you want me to reminisce on the past, give her up to delusions like my father did to my mother?” He quips.

“Your mother loved your father and he changed,” She defends, “she happened to choose that dress, I had nothing to do with that-“

“And the necklace?”

“Necklace?” She pauses dumbfounded. “Yoongi, I don’t even know what you’re talking about, I’m not trying to trick you into anything if that’s what you think-”

“It doesn’t matter, I’m not arguing about this…” He presses his temples, “I know you mean well but she's not going to be here forever, as soon as I can get her out she's gone, and she’s not coming back. Don't get attached, I only say this for your sake,"

She grits her teeth, holding her tongue for what she really wants to say. The last thing she needs is an angry Yoongi. "I care about her, I just want the best for her, after all she’s been through.”

"You don’t think I want that too?” He steps over to the window, looking over at the pristine garden and pool that he rarely touches, “I know what she’s been through, better than anyone...”

“I know you probably don’t believe it, but you are capable of experiencing love-“

“You’re dismissed,” He ends the conversation with a sharp command, already having given her tremendous leeway in this conversation.

You sit at the dining room table, moving your Brussels sprouts around, sipping your wine. This routine of having dinner with him almost every night, it's something you look forward to. 

You knew the subtle looks, the lingering gaze when the other wasn't looking, the laughs—it was a calumniation to something.

"Ayeong," You catch her trying to dash through the kitchen, "is he coming? I've been waiting, my food is cold..."

"Oh," She forced a smile, "I'm sorry dear, I’m not sure, he didn’t say," She leaves the kitchen with a swiftness.

You drop your fork on the plate—suddenly you've lost your appetite.

≿━━━━━━━━━━━━━༺❀༻━━━━━━━━━━━━≾ 

You waited until most of the staff finished their shifts when the guards left the inside of the home and only patrolled the grounds. That’s when you snuck out of your room to confront him.

“Did I do something wrong?”

Yoongi's gaze lingered on you when you emerged from the doorway of the dimly lit room. It’s drafty, the window cracked slightly and you see Yoongi there, sitting with not a care in the world.

You continue. “You didn’t come to dinner, so I thought maybe I did something wrong…”

"I didn't come to dinner because I got caught up," Yoongi explained, his voice low and measured. "You didn't do anything wrong."

The silence that followed was full of tension, and you couldn't help but feel a pang of hurt. A sense of displacement gnawed at you, but you pushed it aside, not wanting to show it.

"You could have at least said something," you retorted, crossing your arms in defense. "Ayeong had to tell me."

“I apologize…Now can you come here,” He beckons you over, gesturing to the couch, “we should talk.” 

You do as he says, walking over to sit a small distance beside him. "About?"

“How are you liking it here?” He throws out his question. “Are you comfortable?”

“Yes, I like living here," 

“Good, I’m glad.” 

On the coffee table beside him, you see cigarettes and a lighter. Impulsively, you reach across him to grab the lighter, and the cigarette box and slip one out. You stare at it for a few seconds, twisting it between your fingers, with the lighter in one hand. Albeit awkwardly, you ignite the flame and hold the white stick to it. The flame danced as you lit the cigarette, it caught fire, and his eyes cut to you, finally curious.

You bring it to your lips, heart racing and nose scrunching at the smell alone. You open your mouth and inhale, very quickly coughing like a first-time rebellious teenager.

“Don’t finish that,” He takes the cigarette from your hands as you struggle to catch your breath. “I avoid doing this shit around you, now you want to try it?” He takes a drag like a pro, blowing the smoke away from you. "It’s a bad habit."

“I know,” You look at him with a playful smile, reaching for it again. “you used to do it all the time,"

“What did I just fucking say?” He smothers it in the ashtray, his displeasure evident, “It’s not funny, don't touch that shit,”

“Why?” You counter, “I’m no different than anyone else here, so can smoke if I want to,”

“Not with me,” He scoffs, almost amused, “there are other ways to relieve your stress,”

“Yeah I’m sure,” You mumble, eyes tracing over his grumpy features. “But I don’t think you would know of any,”

Without a word, he makes his way over to the bar cart. There’s a decanter sitting on the top and one thick crystal cup. He reaches inside a drawer and pulls out another glass. It’s hard to tell what the drink is but when he brings both glasses, his nearly full over to the couch, you question his method of stress relief. 

He hands you the cup and goes to walk back and forth near the window, casually sipping his.

“Seriously?” He nods, predictably. You bring it to your lips.

“You don’t have to drink it,” He sighs, taking a quick sip. He walks back to sit back beside you, black strands cascading around his face like silk curtains when you look over.

"You think alcohol is better than a cigarette?" You questioned, a wry smile playing on your lips.

“It’s the lesser of the two evils, to me.” He picks his glass up, nursing it his eyes fixed on the amber liquid in his glass.

As you started to rise, ready to escape the uncertain atmosphere, Yoongi's hand closed around your wrist, holding you in place. "We're not done talking," He stares up at you, hand not losing its grip.

Reluctantly, you take your seat back beside him. “What is this about?”

“I want you to know,” He stands to his feet, strolling over to the window, “I’m traditional, that’s how things are supposed to be done in the mafia. Whatever the fuck Namjoon and your brother have done, it’s not like that, even I got a little slack.”

"Okay,” You walk over stand beside him at the window, glass in hand, “why are you telling me this?”

“The family you choose comes before anyone else,” He empties the contents in his glass in one chug, then takes yours, “I defended your brother for a long time because of that code, he defiled it and took advantage of me,” He continues, “now I consider you family, in your brother's place.”

“Oh…what does that mean exactly?

“I’ll make sure this organization supports you, I’ll provide protection for you as long as you live," The weight of his words linger in the air.

"Whatever you decide to do with your life after this," he added, "even if it's against your brother, your relatives, anyone—you’re protected." the finality of his statement sends a chill down your spine.

“Even if I’m not with the group, you would still be there for me?…”

“Absolutely,” He downs the rest of your drink and sets it on the window sill, “without question.”

"You’ll be there?” You scoot to stand between him and the window, wanting further clarification.

“Yes,” He gazes down at you and his palm finds its way to your lower back, “I’ll be there for you, in a heartbeat.”

Your eyes dip down to his lips before landing back on his eyes. But only a few seconds, you expression shifts, and the sparkle in your eyes dims. “Jungkook used to talk like that..."

Yoongi's demeanor shifts subtly, a shadow passing over his eyes.

"Did he?" He knows very well that Jungkook spoke like that.

“Yeah,” You step away from him, “I still think he has those feelings for me..." You look down in thought, "I find myself thinking about it, what he would say to me if he wasn't in prison,”

"You're not bound to him anymore, you have to start living like that,” He says gently, “he doesn’t control you, not anymore.”

"Honestly, I miss him sometimes...” You admit, your voice tinged with regret. “That's crazy, isn't it?"

"It’s not crazy Y/n, he was a major part of your life," He sighs, accepting that whatever heat that might have been kindled is long gone. "it's not easy to forget about someone like him,”

“Yeah, it’s not…”

“But it’ll get easier,”

When you stare at him with a look of relief and naivety, he begins to sober himself. You’re not just anyone looking for attention, not a one-night stand he’ll never have to see again —you’re much more than that. You have a pre-existing weight in his life now. Anything that happens gets carried into the future of the relationship.

It would be nice to have this, wonderful even.

[redsaurrce]

BTS MAFIA REACTIONS TO YOU LEAVING THEM

(Yandere hyung edition)

Warnings: YANDERE CONTENT, SLIGHT SMUT, MENTIONS OF MAKING OUT, GUN, WEAPON, INJURY, BETRAYAL, HUMILIATION, KISSING, PROFANITY, UNHEALTHY OBSESSION.

Enjoy ♡

𝕵𝖎𝖓 ❗

• He was away on an emergency mission.

• He initially had taken you hostage because you were the enemy mafia leader's daughter.

• He would normally kill his hostages if the demands were not fulfilled.

• That would've been your fate as well.

• But he saw a hint of madness in your eyes while your hands were tied at your back in the chair.

• He was amused with the show you were putting on.

• When he lowered his head to look at you at eye-to-eye level, you spat on him out of spite.

• He chuckled while wiping the spit off his face with a handkerchief.

• He grabbed your hair and made you look up.

• While he scanned your face in rage, you looked at him fiercely.

• He smirked and released your hair.

• For a moment he felt enchanted by you, something strange stirred inside him.

• "Give her nice clothes and send her to my room tonight before I come back." He ordered his men.

• Right now it was dark and you were running away in your bare feet when you got the chance to secretly escape.

• When you took a turn inside the jungle, your eyes went wide at the people standing in front of you with Jin in the center with his arms folded.

• "Dear oh dear! You really ran fast like a deer." He said mockingly with a cocked eyebrow.

• You gulped and turned to another side but there were already men present.

• You were totally surrounded.

• But you were not willing to give up just yet until-

• "Please go to him my daughter!" You heard your father's crying voice.

• You turned back to look at Jin where your father was dragged out by his men from his behind.

• Your eyes stung with tears, you hoped so eagerly to see your father, to see him come to your rescue.

• You even went lengths to escape just to unite with him.

• But now your father told you to stay with them! Your father, among everyone else??

• Your felt a lump in your throat and suddenly you remembered the words Jin had whispered in your ears, "No one cares for you baby, not even your father. The only person who'd care for you is me darling."

𝖄𝖔𝖔𝖓𝖌𝖎 ❗

• You were working under the black X mafia gang as their armorer.

• Recently Yoongi has been keeping you close to him than other weapon handlers- way too close actually.

• So close that when your gang would return after completing the tasks, he would reward you by being intimate with you.

• Did you like it? Yeah he was good at it but still, you didn’t like him touching you that way or him being possessive.

• Because he was damn possessive, he wouldn't even allow you to leave his room without his consent.

• You were a smart person so you knew that asking for your resignation from him wouldn't end good judging by his obsession with you.

• No! You've had enough of his shenanigans.

• You needed to escape.

• And so you packed your bag with enough weapons and jumped from the wall behind the building.

• Shit! The men noticed you. You ran with all your might but fucking hell they were really fast.

• You thought of using the gun you had in your pocket.

• But just then they started to fire giving you no time to turn and shoot.

• Fuck! A bullet pierced through your left leg making you scream.

• You started limp-running in pain.

• Suddenly you heard a gun shot, it definitely killed a person but neither were you the receiver nor were you the shooter. The firing had stopped.

• A voice boom throughout the open area, "FUCKING DROP YOUR GUNS ASSHOLES!"

• You knew that voice very well. It was him.

• You tried to increase your pace as you felt someone was getting closer to you.

• A hand grabbed your arm and you flinched in fright.

• "Baby were you really running away? Tell me you weren't, right?" He said in worried a tone and hugged you.

• In his hug he felt something cold touch his chest.

• It was a gun.

• You had a gun placed on his chest.

He broke the hug and looked at the gun then at you.

• "Yoongi let me go or I will shoot you." You said as your eyes reddened.

• He chuckled as he tilted his head. "My little bird has grown up so much." He kissed you on the forehead and you thrusted the gun deeper in his chest.

• He said, "No need to put up a bold front baby, I know you love me too otherwise I would've been dead by now with the gun in your hand."

• You wanted to scoff in his face.

• But before you could press the trigger, he carotid slapped in your neck making you lose your conscience in an instant.

• You fell in his arms and he carried you up like a bride.

• He whispered, "Too bad I can't punish you tonight because of your leg baby, that bastard died for good."

𝕳𝖔𝖘𝖊𝖔𝖐❗

• At first you and him only shared the relationship of a sugar daddy and a sugar baby.

• It was good, he was getting relieved from stress by your acquaintance while you were getting relived by paying your bills from his money.

• This went for quite a time until you saw his true identity as a mafia.

• Ever since you saw him shoot guns and saw his men getting shot by others outside the hotel you both would make out in, that scene had traumatized you.

• Were you associating yourself with a criminal? No no no that can't happen.

• You were just a college student trying to survive every day somehow.

• You never imagined you would be making out with someone who kills people.

• What if he kills you too someday if he was done using you?

• You shook your head at the thought.. no, you needed to cut ties with him asap.

• And so you did, you changed your number and even moved to another place. Moving would have taken a toll on you but thanks to Hoseok's money, you didn't find moving a pain in the ass this time.

• You remember telling him about your address and nothing else because when he asked more about you, you had refused saying he should share his information as well.

• It was a give and take of information. But he never gave by saying, "I'll tell you when the time comes, I will even take you there someday."

• You were thankful to your past self for not egging him more for knowing much about him because you would have needed to change your university too if he knew.

• But to your horror when you exited your university to go to your car parked in the underground parking lot, he was standing in front of your car, the car you had bought from his money.

• Your face grew pale.

• He tsked, "Baby I gave a better car as your birthday gift, why are you driving this?" He looked at the car with a sour expression.

• Yeah the car he had gifted you was much more expensive and flashy but you couldn't be stupid enough to drive it around.

• What if he had installed GPS in that? You could have been easily tracked down.

• You clutched the straps of your bag tightly. "I have nothing to do with you. Please leave." You said with all of your will power.

• He chuckled, "I didn't come here to leave babygirl, though we are leaving together. Remember the day I had told you that when time comes I'll take you to my place? Today's the right day for it. Boys!" He grinned as he gestured something with his fingers while he put on a mask.

• And before you could run away, a smoke gas erupted and surrounded you, making you drop to ground unconscious in an instant.

𝕹𝖆𝖒𝖏𝖔𝖔𝖓❗

• You were the top spy in your gang which earned you nice facilities like no one else had.

• Better pay, better stay, better everything. Even better sex, with your gang's leader on top of that.

• You would too engage yourself with Namjoon the best way you could.

• Ugh! He loved you so much, he would do anything for you.

• Whenever you both used to look in each other's eyes during close proximity in the bed, you could see affection overflowing in his eyes while you don't know what sees in yours.

• Because you had no love for him. The only thing you felt was guilt.

• Just like you were feeling it right now as you were leaving from the back of his room by sliding down a rope.

• You were leaving to sell your gang's inside information to your rival gang.

• Actually you have done this several times before but today you were leaving for good.

• When you climbed down successfully and turned to head out, you saw Namjoon standing there casually as if he was waiting for you to show up.

• You started breathing faster out of nervousness as he approached you.

• You blinked and looked at your left to run.

• But Namjoon quickly came and blocked your way with his arms as he trapped you between the wall behind and him at your front.

• "Y/N I can't believe you were going to betray after all that I've done for you." He said with a pathetic expression.

• You gulped, how did he get to know this? You made sure to never let him get the slightest bit of hint.

• Then he leaned closer and spoke, "Y/N, you know right what we do with the bad guys?" He said turning towards your ear and his mint breath tickled the skin of your neck.

• Your lips quivered, "w-we beat the-them to death." With every word you spoke, you felt like your soul was about to abandon your body.

• He smirked and then removed his face and looked at you, his lips mere centimeters away from yours.

• "And what do we do with the traitors?" He asked you, emphasizing on each and every word.

• With his face so close and his aura so threatening, you felt like you were going to black out any second. "We-we maul them t-to death." You spoke with much difficulty.

• He hummed in agreement and then attached his lips with your lips, within the next moment he was devouring your mouth like an animal as if he was hungry for your kiss since ages.

• He grabbed your ass and pulled you up the wall and started lapping at your cunt.

• He said, "But baby you are special to me, I will spare you this time if you obey your master and promise you will never leave again."

• "I-i promise." You bit your tongue to not let out a loud scream as he bit your pussy.

• He smirked, "Good girl."

• Oh well, he knew you were betraying him all the way long, so he kept feeding you with information which was actually not true. He would share you his false plans while he slept next to you, knowing that you were going to tell all of that bullshit to the rival gang.

• When you were busy having pleasure with him, he was busy inserting micro audio devices in your intimate parts, so whenever you had the conversation with the rivals, he could crystal clearly hear you and their plans.

• Thus technically the one you were betraying was not him but them. But today he couldn't let you go since you would be leaving him forever. He would never let that happen.

• Never.

Yeah big mouth watchers ik u have caught on the dialogue in namjoon's part haha!

Tysm for reading ♡

[eleni-cherie]

a thief's end ✨ || bts • myg [COMPLETED] masterlist

"so eager to be in a headlock again?"

"only if it's by you."

he thought he was done with the criminal life and ready for some peace and quiet. but his plans collapsed in the form of a strange girl who was in trouble.

[sequel to 'among thieves || bts • pjm' - can be read independently!!]

© 2023 | eleni_cherie

»»»

list of all chapters:

intro | 0.1 | 0.2 | 0.3 | 0.4 | 0.5 | 0.6 | 0.7 | 0.8 | 0.9 | 1.0 | 1.1 | 1.2 | 1.3 | 1.4 | 1.5 | 1.6 | 1.7 | 1.8 | epilogue

— word count: 72k

— genre: thief au, gangster comedy, adventure, romcom, humour, angst, fluff, sexual tensiON, slowburn, mutual pining, strangers to lovers s2l

I don't wanna spoil too much, but all members play a role in this story!

— song recommendations/inspirations:

agust d - haegeum

(g)i-dle - dahlia

the neighbourhood - sweater weather

marina - superstar

zayn - rear view & love like this

»»»

COPYRIGHT. ALL RIGHTS RESERVED.

IDEA/STORY/CHARACTERS BASED ON MY PREVIOUS JIMIN FANFIC "AMONG THIEVES". TBH I DIDN'T PLAN TO WRITE THIS YOONGI SEQUEL BUT THEN I SAW THE FOLLOWING GIFS OF HIM AND SOYEON BACK TO BACK AND WAS LIKE "GODDAMN I NEED TO WRITE ABOUT THESE TWO!!!"

PROTAGONISTS:

MIN YOONGI AS HIMSELF; RETIRED THIEF / MASTER SWORD FIGHTER / INVOLUNTARY GETAWAY DRIVER

JEON SOYEON AS HERSELF; HUNTED NORMIE / FUGITIVE SONGWRITER / INVOLUNTARY STOWAWAY

ALTERNATIVE UNIVERSE. CHARACTERS NOT NECESSARILY LIKE THE REAL PERSONS. ALSO VERY UNREALISTIC PLOT LOL - JUST PRETEND READING A MANGA/COMIC OR WATCHING A FILM, REALLY.

SUGGESTIVE THEMES. MENTIONS OF VIOLENCE & BLOOD (BUT NOTHING TOO GRAPHIC, IT'S STILL A COMEDY!)

NOT FREE FROM LINGUISTIC ERRORS - ENGLISH IS NOT MY NATIVE LANGUAGE.

DON’T BE A GHOST READER. LIKE, COMMENT & SHARE THIS STORY IF YOU LIKE IT :))

DEDICATED TO EVERYONE WHO’S READING THIS FANFIC. BUT ESPECIALLY TO @taexual​ WHO HELPED ME WITH THE DESCRIPTION AND MANY OTHER THINGS!

CHECK OUT MY OTHER STORIES AS WELL:

polaris ✨ bts • kth

private affair ✨ ksj

8 mile ✨ myg

lonely hearts club ✨ kth

among thieves ✨ bts • pjm

-Elenixx

[sweetcarrotsandroses97]

Like Crazy (lovers) | JJK | Moodboard

Pairing: mafia king! Jungkook x mafia queen! Reader

Warnings: fluff, angst, flirting, spice (no smut tho), cheating, blood, use of different weapons, character death, violence, mafia! au, love triangle?, long haired Yoongi because I'm obsessed, alcohol consumption, Jungkook smokes, Yoongi smokes, (more will be added with the story)

Summary: A sparkling flame, a tempestuous affair, A forbidden romance, a love so rare. A lost cause, a love too bold, Their story written, yet to unfold. Or in which you fall in love with the mafia king for in him your found solace from your own suffering. But in the innocent there's a sinner, in peace there's chaos and in life there is death.  Because you betrayed the man you were meant to support, all because Jungkook enchanted you with his words. In a fallen world with written memories, you drown in the very blood you spilled for your enemy.

*this story will be published on my coffee shop exclusively for my golden darlings. You can purchase the membership with the link below and get access to premium content on my Ko-fi 🫶

March/17/2024

~ Navigation

[rebeca3]

Army do you have some good fanfic recommendations?

[btsmosphere]

Rear View | MYG

> part of the Highway to You series <

~summary: yoongi can protect you now, even if it may be too late. ~pairing: yoongi x reader ~word count: 833 ~genre: angst, hurt/comfort, fluff, mafia!au, friends to lovers (approaching the lovers end👀) ~rating: pg15 ~warnings: violence, past trauma, gang activity, guns

~a/n: so if anything was gonna resurrect me, you know Haegeum was gonna do it😆 this one is a proper drabble (I keep saying it’s a drabble series but all I’ve posted are firmly over 1k or even 2 lol), so there’s some stuff.. hinted. keep an eye out for future stuff to get the full picture! for now, have fun- this is the furthest on in the timeline that I’ve posted so far, it takes place some time after Highway to You remember, I will keep the series masterlist in timeline order rather than order of posting, in case you ever wanna check anything! what I have up atm is fairly spaced out anyway, but hopefully that will evolve👀 enjoy and leave a comment if you do!!💜

“Hurry up, I don’t know how long I can keep this open. If one of them finds it first…”

Yoongi pounded furiously down the corridor, not needing Jungkook’s encouragement. The shots that had echoed in the building moments ago were not anything he wanted you to face, let alone by yourself in there.

Mercifully, the door was only around the next corner-

He skidded around it, seeing the opening… and a shape lurking against the doorframe. Without slowing his pace, he reached a hand to the holster on his waist. It was only a matter of time before they noticed him anyway, what with his noisy running. And if they thought he was going to stop on his path to get to-

The figure’s head turned wildly towards the approaching footfalls. For a moment, you looked hunted, eyes sharp and alert, but all that fell away as you saw it was Yoongi sprinting straight for you.

It felt as if life flooded his oxygen-starved lungs again as he found you. Barrelling towards you, he came to a clumsy stop, only to grasp your hand. He meant to turn straight away, pull you with him towards escape, but instead he fell towards you, unable to help himself.

For a moment, his flushed face was close to yours, loose hair falling past his temples. His hand caught the doorframe behind you, a panting breath hot over your face, eyes searching.

He didn’t like what he found.

Now was not the time to stop. Swallowing, he finally got his feet working and you readily followed, the two of you tumbling through Jungkook’s escape route that he fed to Yoongi’s earpiece. But Yoongi couldn’t quite chase away that look…

Eerie quiet wrapped around the night outside, no whisper of the spectres who had discovered you.

Luckily bangtan lived up to their bulletproof name.

Still wary, Yoongi kept your hand securely in his as you both crept away, slipping into back streets and weaving a maze with worryingly practised ease. It was never only him who knew how to do this; it was your city too.

The van was a little distance away, but it seemed you weren’t in a hurry to get there.

Together, your momentum had run out, pace slowing the further you got from danger. Eventually, Yoongi rounded a corner and stopped entirely, falling with his back against brick and tugging you to his chest.

Not needing to exchange a word, you pressed your face against him, breathing him in. How could you ever have thought…

Gunshots ringing in the unknown space beyond this flimsy shelter… The sounds that could rip apart a life… A steely look in unapologetic eyes, not sparing another glance from that exit, a breath but a lifetime away-

“You’re alright. Hey.”

Yoongi started murmuring into your hair, but now pulled back a fraction to look down and catch your eyes.

He caught them, held them for a long breath.

“Hey.”

His voice alone was grounding. Low, soothing in its simplicity, the same as always, since forever. It could almost be his old bedroom, just the two of you between covers, and not…

Here.

Or maybe it made the here suddenly bearable. His voice drew you straight back in, where you still rested between his arms, aware of his steady gaze on yours.

Yes, how could you have thought that? Yoongi’s eyes were the opposite of those, forever warm. Yes, you were all right, this was not the same as that night-

“You’re shaking.”

Yoongi’s brows had drawn down into a frown. In response, you swallowed, curling inwards.

“I’m fine.”

Yoongi sucked in a breath.

“I know it’s not the cold. We just ran a bloody marathon.”

“If that was a marathon, I think you ought to get to the gym more often,” you teased lightly.

“Maybe,” he rolled his eyes, but refused to be distracted, “but I mean it. Are you okay?”

This time, you hesitated. Patient as ever, Yoongi simply waited as you chewed your lip, all the time in the world ready to give.

He did, however, bring a thumb up to gently tug your lip from the offending tooth.

He kept it there, steady but without pressure. Enough to make you focus on his earnest and open eyes.

“You know I would never… leave you there, right?”

He didn’t miss your shaky gasp, the parting of the lips he was gently touching. How did he always hit the nail on the head? But then, when were you not able to read him? Being through so much together taught you things about the other that no amount of time would tamp down.

“I know,” you admitted with a sigh, looking down.

Yoongi’s eyes had turned dark, while yours glistened faraway again. He was sure he wouldn’t enjoy knowing whatever you were surely thinking about – but he needed to know. Something was grating at you, and it did the same to him without even needing to know the truth.

Thank you for reading! Please leave a comment, it really motivates me hearing what you liked!!💜

Taglist: @aianloveseven​ @preciouschimine @sugamonster22​ let me know if you want to be tagged for installments of this series!!

[yeh-kaali-kaali-ankhein]

Well yoongi's mom is the coolest and truest army ever 🫶🏼

Thank you ma'am 😭

[explicit-tae]

Carnal Desire (2/3)

You refuse to let Yoongi give you the cold shoulder, even after your night with him. So, you decide to show Yoongi that even if you were "his girl", that it didn't mean that you weren't desirable for others. @massivelyfullenthusiast @idkjustlovingbts @december-bae10 @baechugff @bloodline1632 @seokjinkismet @babycandy111

Part 1 | Part 3

Word Count: 3.172

Warning: smut, stripper reader, mafia/gangster yoongi, public type sex, haegeum type vibes fr fr, possessive/jealous yoongi, licking, nipple sucking, oral (f receving),

You hated Min Yoongi.

You hated how you allowed yourself back into your hometown.

You hated how you saw the same man you’ve been in loved with for years - and how it felt as if you fell for him again once more, a decade later.

You hated Min Yoongi because you loved him and it appeared as if your love for him was not enough for him to return to you.

It felt dirty being with Yoongi like this in public, even if the pair of you were in the furthest room from everyone - and held no cameras. But you could not bring yourself to care - not now. Yoongi was willing to have you like you’ve desired for years and you were going to take the opportunity.

Yoongi had touched you like a man starved, fully embracing his attraction and arousal. His hands - so large and calloused - rubs along your skin, gripping your hips, to your ass to cupping your breast. He isn’t sure where he wants to focus on - you were far too enticing for his hands to remain on one body part.

You weren’t complaining. Your hips had bucked against his erection, wishing it was him inside of you instead - but you’d take anything you can get for now. Your kisses were sloppy, his tongue sucking onto your own. It was intimate and the teenage girl in you had dreamed of a time like this - but damn was it better than you ever imagined. 

Yoongi knew of your crush on him back then and now that you were a grown woman, it’s hard to deny you. Your eyes were what once made him soft for you, always willing to do whatever it was that you asked. Now, the same eyes were filled with lust and mischief - and full submission.

“I missed you.” you admit once Yoongi’s lips trail down your neck and on your collarbone. 

Yoongi grunts. “Yeah?”

You nod your head, leaning it back so Yoongi has full control to continue his suckling upon your skin. 

“I wish I could’ve stayed with you.” you continue, letting out years of desperation upon him. You had to sound pathetic, but you didn’t care. Yoongi was yours now - as yours as you wanted him to be. “I wanted to be your girl so bad.”

“I know.” Yoongi groans at the sultriness of your voice. There you were again admitting not only your love, but your need for him. “You’re here now.” is all Yoongi can say. 

Ten years is a long time to make up. He was no longer the young fool he was back when you left, but now a man. He had power no one else his age had. 

Not only that, but you weren’t the same little girl giving Yoongi those innocent heart eyes - you were a woman now. He didn’t have to hold back the urges any longer; he knew you could handle whatever he was going to give you. 

“You can be my girl now.” Yoongi knows he’s going to look back and think how incredibly horny he looks feasting on your skin, but he can’t allow himself to care now as lust takes over. His tongue dips out to lick at your skin while his teeth nip at it. 

“You sure you aren’t going to allow me to leave again?” you decide to joke, a soft moan slipping through your lips. 

“You aren’t going anywhere, Y/N.” Yoongi nips your neck once more, holding you even tighter against him. “Even though you know that you aren’t going to leave me again.”

How right Yoongi was.

This isn’t how Yoongi wants to have you - not in the back room of a club as if you were some whore for him. But he doesn’t want to stop - and you don’t want him to.

“I-I just got that!” you hiss when you hear the ripping sounds followed by your breast pooling out.

Yoongi groans at the sight of your bare breasts. He licks his thumb before pressing it firmly onto your nipple, gripping your breast entirely into his large hand. “I’ll buy you more.” he murmurs. 

It’s hard to be upset when Yoongi looks as hot as he does, eyes low and filled with lust. The thin material of the lingerie thong becomes sticky with slick due to Yoongi’s erection rubbing right along it.

“You’re so beautiful.” Yoongi grunts before engulfing your nipple into his mouth whole. He suckles on it like a man starved, his right hand gripping and tugging onto your free breast. His fingers find your nipple and begin to twirl it between his thumb and index.

Your mind is foggy with lust - this is all you’ve ever wanted. To be with Yoongi, to have him fully. You wished he could have been the one you laid with first, but that couldn’t be possible. Your father forbade you to be with a man such as him - it’s sad to believe that his sickness is what brought you back to Yoongi.

More.

Yoongi wanted more. He needed more of you.

Yoongi doesn’t want to be too rough - he’s unsure truly what you were into or not. And you were such a submissive woman that you wouldn’t complain if he had gone too far. He attempts to be calm and not fully go down the path of dominance - but even he has a hard time.

“Yoongi…”

Yoongi releases your nipple from his lips, a soft popping sound coming from it. His lips are wet when he presses them against yours. His free hand slaps against your ass, pressing you against his hardened erection even harder.

“I missed hearing you say my name.” Yoongi inhales deeply when he releases your lips. “I remember it sounding so sweet when you were young. Now…” Yoongi pecks your lips once more, a flushed look upon his face. “...now it slips through your lips with such need.”

You nod your head with a bite of your lip. “I-I do need you.”

Yoongi groans with a shake of his head. You don’t know what you do to him.

“I want to taste you.” Yoongi lifts from the leather couch, holding you in a tight embrace. “See if you were as sweet as I always thought you were.”

You nod your head hastily. There were times back in your teenage years that you would hear rumors of Yoongi and his tongue - as much as it pained for you to hear because it was never you - and just how amazing he was with it.

Your back hits the leather couch smoothly and it takes no time for your thong to be off. Yoongi’s face is so close to your sex, eyes fixed on it intently. It causes you to feel hot with embarrassment.

“Stop.” Yoongi slaps your thighs away as they begin to close. He hikes your legs to sit on his shoulders. “You’re already so wet.”

Yoongi is so close to your exposed sex that your world is beginning to spin. A soft whine escapes your lips when you feel (and watch) as Yoongi brings a hand up to your clit. Two of his fingers spread apart your lips, his tongue peaking out to lick a single strip upon your clit.

Your head falls back and hits the couch, your eyes snapping shut. You gasp in pleasure, the once shyness you felt now out the window.

Yoongi was now suckling on your clit, his fingers sliding down at your entrance, teasing the wet hole.

Your toes curl at Yoongi’s suckling, his fingers inching closer inside of you. 

Shit.

Shit,

Shit.

Yoongi never comes up for air, nor does his tongue stop twirling your clit. His fingers are pumping deep inside of you and you’re pondering if he was ever going to get tired. 

You begin to sob, the cries mixed with your choked moans. Your thighs clenched, caging his head in that you would have to remember to unclench them so you wouldn’t be the cause of his suffocation.

“Feels so good, Yoongi.”  you grit through your teeth, thighs quivering in great pleasure. 

Yoongi’s fingers pump even faster - how was that even possible? His tongue continues to lap vigorously.

You begin to shake your head, a familiar feeling bubbling between your legs. This couldn’t be happening - you couldn’t cum this fast. 

“S-Stop, Yoongi!” your hand slaps against his forehead to push him away, but Yoongi doesn’t bulge. He continues to lap with the same ravenous need, fingers curling inside of you that hits a sweet spot each time.

Yoongi’s eyes flicker up to watch as you cum, not caring about the wail that releases from your throat. You managed to not crush his skull with your thighs - not like he was complaining. 

Yoongi lifts himself from your wet clit, his fingers popping out of you. He wraps his tongue around his fingers and sucks, humming to himself. Your eyes manage to open to see Yoongi in the act - it causes you to groan in hot embarrassment.

“Tastes so sweet.”

You noticed just how wet Yoongi’s lips were due to your juices, but he doesn’t seem to care. He kisses up your thigh until he’s face to face with you. His lips fall onto your own, your arousal coating your lips, but you do not care. You want Yoongi entirely too much to care about anything right now. 

“Please fuck me.” you beg when Yoongi releases your lips. 

Yoongi shakes his head, sighing. As much as he wants to, he has gone too far by doing this with you now. Though you had no complaints, he allowed lust to overtake him to the point that his first time with you was in a club. “Not here.”

You sigh in defeat at Yoongi’s tone, the seriousness in it telling you that there was no point in arguing. 

“Don’t look so disappointed Y/N.” Yoongi wraps you in an embrace once more, pulling you up from the couch. “You’re still my girl. I respect you more than to take you here.”

You hated Min Yoongi.

You hated Min Yoongi because that night with you and him was weeks ago and you have yet to see him. When you had the following night, you were met with flickering eyes and pure ignorance by the men at the club - who all came there to gawk and look at women.

“You’re no longer needed on the floor.” your boss had told you when you prepared to go on stage. “Nor are you needed for private dances.”

You were left stunned and before you could question your boss, she had sauntered away. You were instructed to do nothing but serve drinks to people at the bar. You were new to this, never mixing drinks often until now. The job required you to cover a bit more, yet you still showed more skin than usual. 

And yet, even as you stand here serving men, they appear to avoid you like the plague. They speak without looking at you, pay without as much as a nod. It was weird, truly. Something deep in your gut told you it had to do with a certain Min Yoongi.

What you never understood - but guiltily never questioned - was the large sum of money for you at the end of the night. Your boss hands it to you in an envelope with a curt nod and a short “good job” before going on to the next. The cash was a large sum and insanely more than the rest of the girls who were performing - and you were just a bartender.

“Maybe it’s because you’re Suga’s girl.” Bunny had said, eyes wide at the large sum of money. “That has to be so exciting.”

Exciting it could have been if you weren’t being ignored by the man. By the fourth week, you were expected to see Yoongi once you saw the men he was with that night when you first saw him. However, he was not with them. They lingered around, eyes towards the stage as they drank from a bottle they brought in themselves. 

“Where’s Yoongi?” you asked the men as the night was slowing down. Eyes turned towards you for a moment, each of them wide at the sight of you speaking to them. “Hello?”

“We shouldn’t be talking to you.” one man - dark hair with glasses - speaks first.

“I-I…” you knit your brows. “Why not?”

“You’re Suga’s girl.” another one speaks - same dark hair shaved into a low buzz cut. “We respect you.”

“And shouldn’t be talking to you.”

You scoff in disbelief. “I’m not his girl.” you hiss - but they wouldn’t believe you. You came up to them asking for Yoongi after all. “I...can you just tell me where he is.”

The one with the glasses shrugs his shoulders. “We were told to keep an eye-”

“Shut up.” another man - wearing a hat - hisses. “He doesn’t want her to know that.”

What you were gathering by the men’s words was Yoongi had these men here for the sole purpose of keeping an eye out on you - and now you were even more livid. 

“Tell Yoongi I want to see him tomorrow night.” you tell them, eyes to look at each of their faces. 

The men nod their heads and you take your leave.

The following night was one of anticipation. You waited for Yoongi to arrive and when he had, you stood straighter. His eyes met yours and the moment you thought was yours was not. 

Yoongi ignored you. He strolled by without a second glance or a smile. He sat furthest from the bar with the same men - even more men than before - and ignored you.

Your heart sank and for a moment, you contemplated what you’ve done.

But your self pity was then met with anger.

Yoongi was avoiding you and you had not a single reason why. You and him hit it off the last time you saw him - he had taken you home insisting that he would see you once more. He had gone radio silent and now refused to look your way.

You have decided now.

Min Yoongi was going to act like you didn’t exist, then you were going to do the same. He didn’t deserve the luxury of calling you his girl if he was going to ignore you the entire time. You were going to have Min Yoongi come to you.

“How long have you been bartending?”

Your eyes widened at the man's question. He was the first in weeks to directly talk to you and make eye contact. 

“Not long.” you smile, showing your teeth. You manage to not look Yoongi’s way to see if he was watching you. “I’m actually new here.”

The man nods. “I can tell. You’re a little heavy handed with drinks.”

You laughed at any and every joke the man said - even if it did hurt your stomach to do so with such dramatics. 

“Another shot?” you ask the man, raising your bottle towards him. You made it your mission to show your breast as much as you possibly could - that and to bat your eyelashes. 

“S-Sure.” the man slurs.

You lick your lips. In that moment, your head turns and your eyes lock with dark ones. The club is packed and the music is blaring, but you can easily find Yoongi in the crowd. He isn’t far this time, leaning against a wall watching you intently. 

You continue to watch Yoongi, unsure how you managed to not fuck up. Your freehand grasps the man's chin, tip his head back and pour the alcohol in the man's mouth. You turn your eyes away from Yoongi when you see him stand straighter. 

“You’re a wild one.” the man says once the alcohol hits his throat. “Yeah?” you say, smiling at him. You engulf the man in a quick - unsolicited, kiss. It doesn’t feel right - you didn’t indulge in things like this with men you didn’t know. However, you wanted to piss Yoongi off when you knew he was watching.

You release the man's lips and giggle cutely. Your eyes turn once more and notice that Yoongi was not where he was when you last saw him. 

You flinch when the bottle in your hand explodes with a loud shot. You shuffle away from the man as another shot rings out. There’s screaming throughout the club and then running, women and men all scattering to get out. 

You look over the bar with wide eyes at the man. He’s clenching his thigh while blood oozes out from it.

“W-What the fuck?” the man hisses when he’s suddenly kicked to the side, discarded. Your eyes, painfully slow, raised to who it was.

“What were you trying to do, Y/N?”

MIn Yoongi.

Of course it was Min Yoongi.

“Yoongi did you-”

“Of course I did.” Yoongi interrupts you. “Let’s go. We’re leaving.”

You shake your head in disbelief. The club is slowly evacuated, leaving no one but Yoongi, you and a few of his men - and the man that has been shot and now staining the club's floor. 

“I’m not going anywhere with you!” you hiss at Yoongi. “You shot a man-”

“That you were using to provoke me!” Yoongi slams his hand down at the bar table as he yells. “I’m sorry.” he says with a shake of his head when you flinch at his tone. “I don’t want to yell at you, Y/N.”

You inhale slightly. 

“You knew what you were doing, Y/N. Trying to make me jealous.”

“Now you want to talk to me?” you scoff in disbelief. “After you ignored all this time? Had me stop performing because I was,” you lift your hand to do air quotations. “Suga’s girl.”

“You are my girl.” Yoongi hisses. “That’s why I don’t want you working in this club. This is why I pay you every night a large sum of money in hopes you’d stop coming back to this place.”

You’re silent at Yoongi’s words, and he continues. 

“I want you to go back to school and do what you were doing before this.” Yoongi sighs. “Come with me, Y/N. We can talk about it at home.”

You want to shake your head and deny Yoongi - you want to scream and yell that he didn’t deserve you after ignoring you. But then you look into his eyes and know that you weren’t going to do any of that.

“Okay.” you nod your head, caving all too quickly for the very man you claim to hate not too long ago. 

You round the corner just as Yoongi’s men gathered the bleeding man in their arms, taking him somewhere you were exactly unsure of. 

“He’ll be okay.” Yoongi assures, wrapping an arm around you. “Poor fool didn’t know you were my girl.”

You gulp as Yoongi presses a kiss to your temple, a feeling in the pit of your heart that sinks lower between your legs at the pet name.

[jung-shook-iieee]

Pairing: yoongi x reader (f).

Genre: enemies to lovers, assassin one shot, smut, 18+.

Summary: Yoongi hates you. But does he?

Word count : 3k

Warnings: Dom yoongi, sub reader, semi-public sex, lots of teasing, both are assassin, mature themes, explicit themes, NSFW, swearing/ cursing, hair pulling, choking, Manhandling, degrading, praise kink, use of nicknames.

Hey, there pretty boy. “ Yoongi sucked in a breath the moment he heard your sweet but irritating voice. He clenched his fist before turning around. You were there like always, a stupid smirk on your pretty face. Your eyes challenged him every time you two were together on a mission. Of course, he wanted to wipe that smug off your face.

” Didn’t knew Joon would count you in this time too. “ Yoongi mumbled through his clenched teeth and you shrugged nonchalantly. ” And here I thought you love my company, yoongles. .!! “ You threw a flying kiss at him. He wanted to shut your smart mouth, he was tired of it now. Maybe he could put good use to your pretty mouth?

” You just love getting on my nerves, don’t you? “ Yoongi snarled. You giggled and yoongi thought how can you be so shameless. ” No baby, you know the truth…I’m here because namjoonie needs me and so do you.“ You sang the last part at his face. He scoffed as if he really needed you. You are indeed good with weapons and you know the in’s and out of the black market very well but that doesn’t mean he needs you.

” Bold of you to assume the I need you, you’re nothing but a walking trouble. “ Yoongi scoffed walking past you and checking the earphones for any signal. He was trapped with you at this point. Namjoon didn’t tell him that you were going to be there with him.

The comments did nothing but made you laugh. You were used to his sharp tongue. Though he never said something by his heart and you never took his words on your heart. There was an unsaid mutual understanding between you two. He respected you even though you sometimes cross your limits but he never did. And that’s what you love about him.

” And now I’m trouble for you? You make me sad yoongi" Your voice pitched higher as you dramatically blamed him. Yoongi hissed at the sharp and high-pitched tone of your voice. He quickly shoved another earpiece in his ears to avoid going deaf.

“ For God’s sake just stop begging for my attention. Will you? ” Yoongi glared at you. You could swear you felt something stirring in the pit of your belly. He looked so hot when he’s angry!. And especially because of you…that’s why you always rile him up.

“ The world doesn’t revolve around you kitty.! Stop being delusional just accept that you like me and I swear I won’t tell anyone.!! ” You whispered teasingly, wiggling your eyebrows and you could see how hard he is trying to control himself.

Yoongi’s patience was running thin, he’s tired of your witty and stupid remarks. The hell you called him kitty? How dare you laugh at him? He hates you. Yes, he does and that’s enough to work him up. He just couldn’t control his beast anymore and In a blink of an eye, he pinned you against the rusty and cold walls of the old tunnel.

You barely got any time to move as he pinned you. It was unexpected. Yoongi was all bark no bite, he never raised his hands on you no matter how much you worked him up. A sharp gasped left your mouth as you felt the cold surface on your back and the fact the Min fucking Yoongi is so close to you made your legs jelly and mind blank.

Yoongi’s wrist on your neck was warm. Heck, his whole body was so warm. That’s the first time in 6 years you’re feeling him this close. From the beginning , you guessed he’s the least friendly among them and quite unreachable. His aura always told you to stay away because he doesn’t give two fucks about anyone except his brothers. So, instead of showing your true emotions towards him, you started throwing your snarky remarks at him. But he never did anything intimidating. Till now.

You were dropping hints of how badly you wanted him to wreck you all this time. All that teasing and challenges were about working him up and this cold-hearted idiot never got them until now. And now that you were finally getting what you desired the most, you just couldn’t hide your happiness.

Your lips curled up in a smile as you took in his strong yet calm Cologne. Yoongi’s eyes widened realizing that he probably crossed a limit here. As he was pulling himself back you grabbed his waist with your free hand making him halt and look into your mischievous eyes.

“ What do you think you’re doing. ” Yoongi narrowed his eyes and his breath was fanning over your lips, giving you a hint of mint chocolate he ate before. You raised your neck a little, “ Were you going to shut me up? If yes, then why are you backing off? Did you scare kitty? ” You whispered the words on his lips making his body stiff.

Yoongi knew what you were doing. He was done with your teasing. But your calm attitude didn’t sit right with him. He could immediately feel the blood rushing to his cock, his heartbeats were increasing, and his body went stiff feeling your touch. No way he’s going to burn alone. You should burn with him.. and he’ll make sure of it…

Yoongi tsked as he pressed his body closer to you. Now it was clear that there’s no space between you two. You felt your panties dampening as yoongi wrapped his long fingers around your neck. The metal rings on his fingers felt foreign on your skin. It was an unexpected move and so you couldn’t help yourself but a whimper left from your lips. Your eyes widened realizing what you just did and yoongi’s lips curled up in a teasing smirk. Of course, he knew his effect on you.

“ All I have to do is… Squeeze a little, right? ” Yoongi whispered in your ears. His voice sent chills down your spine. His hot breath fell on your cheeks making your face heat up. He looked into your eyes again, you stared into his dark eyes… Even in the dimly light, you were able to admire his soft yet dangerous features. Yoongi’s face looked prettier than ever. You studied his features with your eyes until you looked at his soft lips. You were well aware that yoongi is witnessing everything with his own eyes yet you couldn’t help yourself but grab his soft black curls and kissed him.

Yoongi was shocked. It was unexpected, it took him a moment to realize that you were kissing him. He was spellbound. He only imagined kissing you in his dreams but this time it was real. But quickly he gave in to feeling the feeling of your lips. It didn’t take him long until he’s kissing you passionately gripping your neck firmly. Your fingers curled in his messy black hair as you finally get to feel his delicious lips.

Yoongi’s kissing was bruising and overwhelming as he nipped at your lips with his teeth. He took his time exploring your mouth, sucking your tongue messily. He gave you a moment to breathe and again started kissing you like there was no end to it. You’ve only read in books about these types of kisses, but it was the first time you were experiencing this. You whinned when he pulled back, he smirked looking at your worn-out expressions. He wanted to wreck you so bad.

“ God!! Look at you. Just one kiss and you’re already whining? ” His cruel words were arousing you even more. You wanted more of this, more of him. His lips looked swelled and wet, you wanted to kiss him again. You gripped his black locks and again took his lips in your mouth but he pulled back and his grip over your neck was more firm.

“ I’m taking the control here princess, you just gotta listen to me and be a good girl for me. Yeah??? ” He asked as he gripped your neck tighter making your lips part. You only moaned in response but of course, he needed your consent so you mumbled a small yes.

In a moment he turned you around making you face the wall, he again pressed his body against yours. He grabbed your hair, “ Gotta fuck the brat out of you. Will you let me? ” He whispered in your ears while he spanked your ass. You let out a squeak as you felt the stinging sensation but you liked it and you moaned in return. “ What a fucking dumb princess huh? You were so talkative and now? Can’t even speak anything??… ” He licked a long strip on your cheeks as you shuddered in his grasp.

He made you dumb in seconds. Messing with Min Yoongi was surely no joke. Whether be in the field or in bed, yoongi always liked the control. “ Yes please..!!! " You moaned. He again slapped your other butt cheek and " Ohmygod. ” Left from your mouth, making him chuckle.

“ See all you need is a little discipline and you are all good. ” Yoongi taunted you while nipping at your earlobe. You tried to free your hands from his bruising grip but he only held your hand tighter making you whimper. “ Be a good girl for me… Will you? ” Yoongi warned you one more time and this time you nodded your head.

Yoongi managed to push down your pants and fumbled your ass cheeks a little before spanking them. God. He loved the feeling of your ass. He already thought of different ways to tame you. Yoongi fumbled with his pants and took out his hard cock. He spread your legs and felt the wetness around your core. There was a lot he must say. He was dying to taste you but he’ll save that for the next time.

You waited in anticipation as stroked his cock and rubbed through your wetness before tapping it on your swollen clit. “ Please… ” Your voice was more like music to his ears, and he wanted more of that. He pressed his bulbous head and pushed his length inside of you. You threw your head back… He was huge… You could only feel his head inside and it’s already stretching your walls.

He pulled back and pushed again a few more times until you relaxed in his grip. Just when you guessed he was completely in he gave a thrust again making you gasp loudly. Your eyes rolled into the back of your head as you realized he was much bigger than you imagined. “Oh, my god yoongiii.!!! ” You screamed as you felt his pelvis pressed against your ass.

“ What? Never had a dick before? Don’t worry I’ll show you the real deal baby. ” His words aroused you even more, and a wave of shame and arousal washed over you. He dug his fingers hard in your soft waist as he picked up his speed. He started thrusting harder turning you into a puddle of arousal. His thrusts were fast and animalistic, it felt as if he wanted to break you in two. You cried when you felt him even deeper than before. He was a beast and you’ll make sure to feed him.

“ What happened princess? too much? can’t take it? want me to stop?” Yoongi cockily inquired when you cried out his name. you shook your head in a no and he spanked your ass harder this time. “ words baby words.” he snarled and whimpered a “ no, please don’t stop. " Yoongi smiled witnessing your state.

it was indeed too much, you snaked your hand over your clit and started rubbing it slow when yoongi caught your hands before you could bring yourself some relief. ” yoongi please…“ you pleaded ” please what y/n ? can’t hear you.“ he teased. In any other circumstances, you would’ve hit him for all this teasing but right now he was in control, you were at his mercy tonight.

And to be honest, you were loving the way he was handling you, you dreamt of this moment for so long… Always imagined how would he treat you while taming you but it’s different than your dreams. You’re feeling the difference and you’re liking it for sure. You wanted more. he was dragging you towards the pool of pleasure.

” Touch me.. Please… “ You finally breathed out. Yoongi kissed your hair, ” I’m touching you baby. “ Yoongi ghosted his fingers on your lower tummy. You groaned Irritatingly as he played dumb. ” Touch me there. Please. “ You were so shameless all this time but now? You can barely form any sentence let telling yoongi to do something be alone.

” And exactly where do you want me to touch y/n? You better not waste my time darling. “ A shiver ran down your spine hearing his dark chuckle. It was clear he was taking his time tormenting you. ” Yoon- “ You tried saying something but it came out as a moan when yoongi slowly pushed his cock deeper into you making you feel every inch of his.

” Oh, baby I would love to see this expression of yours every day “ Yoongi chuckled slipping in and out slowly breaking you into two. He knew the pressure is too much but you have to obey him to get what you want. That’s how it works anyways.

" Touch my pussy please, please..please... ” God the way you begged made yoongi growl. He could instantly feel himself Cumming inside of your little hole. He placed his fingers on your clit and started rubbing it fastly. The cool metal rings were making contact with your clit sending a jolt in your body. You instantly cried at the intensity of his fucking.

Fuck baby, Yoongi moaned as he continued fucking you slowly as he rubbed your clit. “ OhhYoongi! Fuck! Oh so good.!! You moaned unable to form any word correctly. "Want anything else baby? You wanted my fingers and I’m giving them to you. What else do you want mhmm?” Yoongi’s pace was still slow but his fingers and his rings were making you feel dizzy.

“ Yoongi… Just... ” Again you couldn’t form your sentence correctly as your legs were shaking. “ What?? What do you want baby tell me and I’ll give it to you. ” Yoongi cooed at you, he swore he could feel you clenching tight around his dick. “ Just. Just fuck me harder daddy,please. ” You squeaked out loud. If it weren’t yoongi’s body pressing yours against the wall you swear you could’ve fallen right now.

“ That’s my girl. ” Yoongi kissed the corner of your lips as he started thrusting harder and faster. You held on to the nearest pillar for your dear life as yoongi resumed pounding you. The pleasure and pain were immense yoongi heard you blabbering something incoherent. He didn’t care, to be honest, he loved the way he made you dumb. “ Yeah take it. You begged for it so now take it like a good little girl. ” He was continuously speaking filth as he pounded you hard.

“ Look at you baby so fucked up just for me right? I’m gonna keep you… Gonna fuck you every day like this. Gonna make you mine… Goddd you’re so tight fuck…!!!! " This time yoongi moaned as he felt you clenching around his dick. Yoongi was so deep in pleasure he wanted to bask in your pleasure every fucking day.

” YesYesYesYes… Please don’t stop… I’m yours please just don’t… “ His dirty talking and his thrust were bringing you close to your orgasm. You felt yourself clenching so hard around his dick that you pressed your face on the walls as he fucked you.

” Mmh yes baby don’t you dare waste a single drop, cum around me I can feel you’re close. Cum princess. “ Yoongi cooed at you while rubbing your clit fastly. He felt you Cumming around his dick and damn!!!!!! You were sure this was the best orgasm of yours till now. Yoongi didn’t stop he only moaned in response.

Soon you felt him Cumming deep inside you. Yoongi panted as he rode through his high. He placed a chaste kiss on your lips as regained his breath. You fell down as your legs were numb yoongi too sat down next to you and dragged you on his lap. ” You are going to keep it safe here. “ Yoongi again pushed his fingers In your pussy to make sure his cum stays inside you. You grabbed his face and kissed him one more time.

” See I told you they acted all along. “ You both jerked up as you guys heard jungkook’s voice from the earpiece. Both of your faces heated up realizing that the microphone was still on. ” The fuck yoongi. “ You whispered screamed at him. Yoongi looked genuinely embarrassed because now everyone knew you two fucked.

” I’m sorry. “ Yoongi said to you. ” Don’t be sorry Hyung I won the bet because of you. “ Jungkook laughed and taehyung groaned at the back.

” It wasn’t for you idiot.“ yoongi barked through.

What did you two fuckers even bet? ” You asked. “ Well gguk said you two like each other and would probably fuck since you two are alone there but our taehyungie said otherwise. ” Hoseok chimed in between making you groan silently.

“ I’m going to kill you both. ” Yoongi threatened as he double-tapped on the earpiece and shut off his microphone. A moment or two passed as you both sat there silently. “Did you mean it though? ” You asked looking into his eyes. He looked confused but answered honestly.

“ No, I won’t kill them I’ll just rip their- ” “ No yoongi not that. ” You spoke in between cutting him off. Now he was even more confused. “ You said you’ll keep me and make me yours something like that. ” You avoided his gaze as you reformed your question.

Yoongi chuckled realizing what you meant. He kissed your forehead and then pressed his own on yours. “ Hmm you’re mine now and I won’t let you go baby.!!”

___________________________________________________

Ajsjsksksks min fuggin yoongi... I'm so feral for him I'm telling you guys. 💀

___________________________________________________

Master list.

💛

@yellabella77 @taegularities @g-o-bs--fanfictions @goofyhoffy

[kittyscupcakeandbunny]

SET ME FREE x MIN YOONGI

[MAFIA AU]

PART ONE

Red Chopsticks

Side Characters: Kim Namjoon/police officer detective, Jeon Jungkook/police officer detective, Jung Hoseok/mafia member and Yoongis right hand.

Warnings: Smut, mentions of blood, death, robbery, killing, guns, torturing, fire, porn (a lot of it), drugs, cuss words.

Song: Gods and Monsters by Lana del Rey.

Next ->

………………………………………………………………………………….

I knew that working as an intern at the police station wasn’t going to be easy. As a young woman i knew that very well. But life wasn’t ever exactly easy for me, when i wasn’t fighting to survive i was planing how to survive tomorrow.

At least i was never bored.

“Another fight against the mafia Min left three police officers in the hospital in critical condition and five dead, the police said that they are taking care of the case right now and so far they can’t disclose any information about the investigation but, everything indicates that the mafia leader Agust d was behind it. We’ll be back after the break…”.

I took a sip of my coffee as i watched the news on the tv in wall of the coffee shop. This Agust d was one of the most wanted criminals in the world, they say he has deals with the Italian and the Japanese mafia. No one knew how he looked like, the only way to know he was behind a crime was looking at the crime scene. He had a way of doing in the most cleanest way. Bodies dropped dead in a blink of an eye and no one would know.

I always wanted to be a police detective just like my father, completely influenced by him but when he passed away i made the promise to take his place and do just as much good to the world as he did. To continue his legacy. Since I was the oldest I had to take care of the house and my younger brother. Who was still in high school.

After completing my training i was assigned to work as an intern at the police station. I’ve been working for almost four months now, it hasn’t been easy since.

Many male seniors looked down on me and tooked me for weak. But that didn’t stop me. It never did in the academy and It won’t here.

I’m gonna do my job and I’ll be the best at it.

Days are work were usually the same, sitting on my desk making documents and delivering documents with criminal information on crime scenes, criminals and people who passed.

I had to make sure every information was in order and ready to be documented and archived in the system.

At lunch break I would seat in the table with the few detectives that saw me as one of them, Namjoon was working on the Agust d case together with Jungkook and his other man, he would always take care of me when he could. As fathers used to know each other and for that reason he’s always been like a big brother for me in the station.

- how’s been work so far y/n? - he asked, a smile showing his dimples making him look even more attractive.

- same old same old - i said, sitting in front of him on the table. - how is the investigation of the Min mafia?

- don’t even tell me about it. The damn Agust d is like a ghost. - he held his chopsticks tighter, a deep look in his eyes showing me how much this case has been burning him, no one wanted to catch that man more than him - But just you wait…. I’m gonna catch him and make him pay for his crimes.

- I’m sure you will - i send him an assuring smile - no one can do that but you.

He replied my smile send a small one back to me, the air around seemed to have lightened up since.

- make sure you document our relatories right y/n - Jungkook the youngest detective said to me in a teasing way. Turning the attention to me.

- you do your job and i do mine - i said - I’ll be better then you once i become a detective.

- she’s coming for you man! - Namjoon teased, getting playful too.

- I’m not scared of girls - Jungkook stated, looking my way.

- well then I’ll make you scared - I said daring. We all just laughed after that.

Lunch time was always pleasant with them, as much as they can’t seem to stop teasing me for being the youngest, it was nice being with them.

After lunch i went back to work finding a new pile of documents with a small yellow note saying to transfer them all to the system. One of the other female workers who was a senior Looked at my way saying the boss requested me to do the documents and send it to him.

I sighed knowing it would take more then hours to complete the work, specially with how slow the system has been lately.

…

Finishing the last paper o looked outside the window at the office. It was night already, half past eleven.

I yawn getting up from the chair, time to clock out. As I walk down the stairs to the front doors of the station, Namjoon comes from the corridor of the left. I smiled at him and he does a little jog to come to me, accompany me as we both exit the building.

I take a deep breath once outside, finally time to go home.

- you need a ride home? - Namjoon offers.

- oh no, thank you though - i declined - I have my own ride home.

- don’t tell me you’re still driving that thing? - he asked incredulously of my ride home.

- hey! Don’t talk like that about my baby - i said. Hitting his arm.

- i swear that motorcycle is a monster… - he said playful.

- no it’s not… - I’m interrupted by my cell phone ringing, my brothers name shining on it. - sorry i gotta go, bye Joonie!

I quickly said by to him as i run to the parking lot, once my motorcycle was in my sight I took the call.

- hey bro what do you-

I couldn’t finished. My voice got stuck in my throat as i heard him sobbing, silent cries.

- they are coming to get me… I’m so sorry big sis…- he cried, I could hear laughs and other voices in the back.

My mind was doing loops. Different scenarios about what he might have gotten himself into that could have gotten him in that situation, i felt the rush in my body and completely lost control of myself. The only family I had was in danger and i just couldn’t breath at the thought of it. How could I not do anything?

Knowing i was just an intern at the police station but i would never turn my back to someone in need. Never.

I’m so stupid.

I moved out of instinct. Getting in the motorcycle. Turning on the GPS of his cellphone so i could track his location, finding out my brother l location was my focus now. Turning the key the loud roar of the motor was flowed through my ears. I checked the GPS once more finding out he was at the wets part of downtown.

My eyes looking incredulously at his location, just what in the world was he doing at one of the most dangerous parts of downtown?

Once I find him I’m going to smash some sense in his head, with my fry pan. Hard.

Driving this late wasn’t so bad, everyone was sleeping and those who weren’t were coming back from work or just going to parties, getting dunk or eating out. It was easier to get there faster, as i drove towards my brothers destination the streets began to slowly turn darker, and i don’t mean light sense.

I was struck by how things went down there. I never came a single kilometer close to this part of the city. Now I know why.

People fighting in the middle of the streets, some drunk men being dragged out of a pub, woman bearly clothed walking around smoking.

I stooped my motorbike to look at the GPS once again, he was close now one street ahead in the next alley. I drove there slower till I was close enough to go there on foot and made my way to the alley.

I couldn’t find words to describe this place, it smelled so bad my head started to hurt. Cigarettes and cheap alcohol, piss in the corners and some people laying on the floor. I didn’t know if they were alive but, i didn’t know if going there to check would be a good thing to do.

I had my own share of trouble to solve now. Once in the alley i felt paralyzed, honestly I didn’t know what to expect from this. I didn’t know what to do. I just knew my brother was i danger and i had to get to him quickly.

Once there i stood in the alley, my heart was weighing on my chest, as i saw three men cornering my brother. Two of them wearing big jackets and while one wore a baseball hat the other a bucket hat he was the one who held my brother against the wall while the other one threw a punch against him. Those disgusting pieces of trash.

- ya!

Anger boiled inside me. Now finally getting their attention. The one who threw the punch turning towards me. He was bald and had a dragon tattoo on his face that follow the side of his head to his left eye.

- there's nothing to see here princess - he said - get out or... we might not let you go.

- no, you leave - i stood my ground - i already called the coops, leave my brother.

They all just laugh, i didn't move an inch through if i wanted to win this I would have to fight. I knew I would.

- you all heard that? She called the cops - he said in a mocking way to the other guys and they all laughed - you must not be from here little girl.... the coops don't come here any more.

- yeah... - the other one who held my brother said, he took his cap off siding with the tattoo guy - Agust D made sure of that.

They looked at each other and chuckled.

- we gotta thank him for that... - the back one said walking towards me - thanks to him we can do whatever we want to little girls like you....

I felt like throwing up.

It wasn’t long before two arms held me from behind, a breath of cigarettes hitting my face. A forth men? I tried to break free from it but the man’s hold was strong.

Bald guy walking towards us a vile smile on his lips as he did so, my mind was completely blank and all i could hear was my heart beating faster in my chest and their laughs as if it was coming from far away.

My eyes desperately searching for my brother finding him laying on the floor, fear boiling on my body. I could only watch.

How useless i was.

- we are gonna have so much fun… - he said grabbing my face and smiling sickly. I was so disgusted and angry at the same time.

Still i spit on his face. For a second it seemed like he didn’t believe it, then he angrily cleaned his face with his hand.

- you bitch! - he was one second from slapping me in the face.

If I’m in hell, might as well shower in flames. I closed my eyes waiting for the blow, but it never came.

- what’s is all this garbage?….

A different voice said this time, before anything could happened, from behind the man in the other end of the alley a man stood there.

I couldn’t make his face as he was too far, he proceeded to light a cigarette and take a blow. Smoke flying above his face as he lets it all out. He was wearing simple clothes, ripped jeans a white shirt and flower shirt over it. Long black hair slick back. He walked slowly towards the commotion, as if this was nothing but exactly what he stated: garbage.

- we don’t need more people here friend… - the man in front of me said, walking towards the new stranger - just keep minding your own business.

- well you see… friend - he said closer now, eyes falling over mine and i noticed the scar on his face. It made him look mad. - i don’t like men hurting woman…

- I don’t give a shit about what you don’t like get the fu- before the man can say even one more word, scar men throws a punch on him, cigarette still between his lips.

He falls on the ground nose bleeding and groaning in pain, scar men takes a second blow lof the cigarette letting the smoke fall out of his lips slowly in the air watching the men on the ground, a smirk on his face.

- I also don’t like poor dirty vocabulary… - he said, throwing the rest of the cigarette on the man.

The two other guys went stray to the scar men, one of them throwing a punch on him but he quickly dogged grabbing the guys arm bringing towards him he punched his ribs then kicked him on the same spot, while this were happening the other one who just watched grabbed a piece of wood and went straight to the scar face men.

It happened so fast, the guy didn’t stood a chance as scar face held the piece of wood and his other hand before he could do anything, a sick laugh coming from scar face lips. He looked as if he was having the most fun but, more then anything like this was nothing to him.

I knew he went hard when i heard the sound of cracking, but it wasn’t from the wood. The painful groan that left the guy mouth was enough to tell me, scar men broke his arm then threw the guy on the floor two with another kick. He stood there pushed his hair back and looked at me, a smirk still on his face.

The forth men that was holding me finally let me go, turning back i only saw him walking fast as if he had nothing to do with this signaling to the other men to get out of there, one after the other they got up from the floor leaving quickly. I don’t know who that men with the scar is but although he helped me and my brother, he doesn’t seem like one to mess with.

As the alley was clear i ran to my brother, checking to see if he was okay. He hugged me as soon as i kneeled beside him.

- why did you come? - he cried on my shoulder - they could’ve hurt you…

- and they hurt you - I told him - how could i not come? Should I have just left your!? You punk.

I helped him up holding him by the waist, I honestly thought the scar men wouldn’t be here anymore. I was surprise to see he was still there looking at me and my brother. Both hands on the pockets of his jeans.

Noticing my look of surprise at him he only side smiled, I couldn’t read his expression.

- it’s still dangerous to be alone at this time… - he said walking to the end of the alley where he came from and towards the street - let’s eat something till things cool down in downtown.

I didn’t question. I didn’t know how things worked at downtown and if he’s from here he knows more then I do. Seeing how my brother was still in pain I thought that would be a good idea, at least until he gets better to go and as the scar men said till thing cold down.

So i follow the him. We walked without saying anything else, the streets of downtown seemed to really be quieting down now . He stopped in front what looked like a noddle restaurant, it looked old with rustic furniture and decor.

He walked around as if he new the place and quickly sat down in one of the tables on the back, i fallowed him sitting in front of him after helping my brother to sit beside me.

And old lady came to our table, she seemed to know scar face as she smiled at him.

- the usual mister Yoongi? - she asked him, he nodded.

- the same for them - he then replied, she looked at me once then my brother the expression on her face showing clearly. Pity.

She quickly went back to prepare the food, i looked at the men in front of me. The scar on his face gave him a fearful look, he had sharp eyes too and moved with so much confidence and control of himself. Nothing around his surrounding seemed to fazed him, he looked indifferent to everything.

He’s from downtown. The part of the city were crime was all over it, the mafia Min had control over it more then the military soldiers. No one could take this area down. They had so much power over it no one from the outside could even imagine what was truly happening here, everyone feared getting even the stlighly close to here.

I tried not to think about it so much as time passed, the food was put in front of us by the old lady. The scar face who’s name the old lady said before was Yoongi took his chopsticks blowing the noddles before eating.

His knuckles had some blood on them, but he just eat as if it wasn’t nothing to him. Are all the people in downtown like this? Born bad? Born with blood in their hands.

Now here i’m right in the middle of it. With this men in front of me who looked like he was some kind of mafia criminal.

- are you in the mafia? - I only realized I said my thoughts out loud when he looked at me.

He stoped mid eating, mouth slightly opened as he hold his chopstick. His eyes locked on mine and he stared at me, it felt cold the more i held eye contact with him. I couldn't decipher what was going on his mind, it made me even more intrigued and for a second it felt like time had stoped, everyone and every thing around us simply didn't exist.

How did I get here? Who was this men?

I couldn't breath. My eyes were glued on his, how could someone like him have this kind of effect on people? I felt a shiver run down my spine as he licked his lips smirking if that was somebody else I’m sure it wouldn’t look as attractive as he made it look and before he took a bite of his food he simply said without breaking eye contact with me.

- no.

Nothing else was said after that.

We all just eat our food. The silence was filled with only dish sounds and food being cooked, some old people talking about sports and how some areas were too dangerous.

I kept checking on my brother to see if was fine, he only eat his food quietly blood dried already on his bottom lip, a bruise on his right eye turning red. I hated the fact i couldn’t protect him. Even after becoming a police officer I couldn’t do anything to protect my only family.

Mat the sudden movement in front of me my eyes turning to Yoongi as he got up from his seat, he grabbed the pair of red chopsticks before looking at me one last time.

- i have something to deal with now - he said - you know that way out, don’t worry about the food… is on me.

Was all he said before turning his back and walking towards the back of the restaurant with the red chopsticks.

What a night.

Taglist: @missmin @whipwhoops @glosstwn @i-have-no-life-charlie @kooslilhoe @catlove83 @taegicity @ginger-coffee-addict @rosquilleta @tarahardcore @liveyun @manuosorio @thvlover7 @4ukiyo4 @sukonsukuna @passionandsuga @missroro @btspurplesky

Notes: First part is out YES. Sorry for any grammatical mistakes I didn’t edit yet! 🥺💖🤭

[theharrowing]

Collateral 🗡️ 17 - Making someone cry is a side-effect of being in love, I'm afraid

Your ex-boyfriend gets in over his head working for the local mafia, and Boss Min has come to collect his payment: You.

But was it simply a matter of being in the wrong place at the wrong time? Or has he always had his sights on you?

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🗡️ Yoongi x Female Reader x Namjoon, Jungkook x Female Reader 🗡️ word count: 15.6k 🗡️ mafia au, strangers to lovers, graphic violence, major character injury, poly, smut, angst, fluff, nsfw, explicit 21+ 

🗡️ chapter warnings: excessive drinking to numb/forget; so much fucking tension lolol; Hwasa (yes, that is the warning); new nickname for the bingo card (doll/dollface); Jeongguk is a flirty little shit & he got his eyebrow and lip pierced; mc learns to dance; use of "whore" (not derogatory but also kind of derogatory); smoking weed; mc confessing to "going all ways" (sorry straight readers, but i don't know how to not write a queer mc); mc has some complicated feelings and is doing her best; Jeongguk sometimes says the wrong thing but he is also doing his best; a healthy amount of crying; mention of dead moms; discussion of drug use & addiction; inexplicit discussion of sex (sorry lads, the smut is in the second half. it's worth the wait!!!)

🗡️ note: this chapter spans about three weeks, and there is no clear definition of time in between some scenes because mc is just kind of...dealing with the passage of time in her own way. so if it seems kind of disjointed, that is because it is meant to. also, as you may have seen, this chapter wound up being 30k words, so i have broken it in two parts and beefed up some of the scenes. i intend to post chapter 18 very, very soon. ok i love you, enjoy!

🗡️ beta read by @neoneunnajimin!

🗡️ posted on june 2023 | read on ao3

You love Yoongi; there is no question about it. 

Despite the hurt and confusion and pain, one thing that you are certain about, above all else, is that you love him. 

And that is why you drink. 

You drink to numb the myriad feelings. You drink to pass the time. You drink to forget. With a twinkling haze of intoxication, loud club beats, and bright lights, you drink, and drink, and drink. 

Jimin caves instantly on his insistence to not teach you how to dance, and you realize that he is not only a brilliant dancer, but that he seems to really enjoy having someone around to join him. Behind Paradise is a ballet studio that he owns and rents out to instructors. When he has free time, he goes there to practice in front of the wall of mirrors while some sultry melody plays on an old-fashioned boombox in the corner. 

Sometimes he throws on a hip-hop beat and does experimental moves with his body, contorting his limbs in square, jarring movements. Other times he drifts gracefully through the space to ballet pieces, muttering about Tchaikovski, Prokofiev, and other names of long-dead men that you struggle to pronounce. He is always magnificent—a true artist of his craft. 

It takes no time at all to become a friendly face at Paradise. Within just a few nights, the cocktail waitresses, dancers, bartenders, and regulars all seem happy to greet you. Jimin has introduced you to everyone as dove, a nickname you quickly warm up to, which is what everyone there calls you. 

Everyone, that is, except the new bar manager, Jeon Jeongguk. 

At Paradise, under the flashy red, purple, and fuchsia lights, he calls you dollface, or doll for short. And at first, you fucking hate it; the words stick like bile to your tongue, heavy and tacky. 

But the more he struts over with his black satin shirt unbuttoned just a little too low, hair slicked back, standing too close with his sticky-sweet whiskey breath and muttering shit like, "Looking gorgeous tonight, doll," you begin to warm up to it a little. 

"What happened to buttercup?" you teased the first time he tried the new nickname, and he rolled his eyes, chewing on a piece of pink bubblegum wide-mouthed like an adorable a fucking cow as he said, "That was the old me, dollface; I'm not the same person I was yesterday."

It should come as no surprise that Jeongguk is really beginning to grow on you. Now that he works the bar and you see him a lot more often, his attitude is much softer. He still teases you, and at times, it makes your fucking blood boil, but there is a softness to his gaze, especially when his smile stretches wide, that makes your tummy do a backflip whenever his presence lingers. 

All of this is extra dangerous in your current situation because the last thing you need while on sabbatical from both of the men who you continue to be in some unnamed but deeply romantic relationship with, is Jeon Jeongguk making you feel giddy. Try as you might to convince yourself that your feelings are purely a product of your loneliness, you know that is untrue; your feelings for Jeongguk had already begun to sprout, and, as time goes on, they continue to grow. 

You are also finding yourself charmed by Jeongguk's second-in-command, a wisp of a woman with a wide smile and even wider hips named Ahn Hyejin—stage name Hwasa. Hyejin is tiny, barely standing taller than Jeongguk's shoulder with her sharp stiletto heels on. But she commands a room, voice booming and deep when she needs it to be, making all the dancers do exactly as she says. 

Although you are surrounded by beauty in a place like Paradise, nobody steals your attention like Hyejin. Her beautiful diamond-shaped face is always made up with sharp black eyeliner and bright red lipstick. With wide, dark brown eyes that pierce into your soul, all it takes is one pointed smirk, and you are practically melting to her feet. She is always dressed a little revealing, showing enough skin that your eyes continuously trail back to her, just to get another glance.

You understand why men wage wars over love and lust. Hyejin is living proof of why so many sonnets and classic literature pieces are steeped in maniacal desperation over a woman some lonely man saw at a passing glance one time. 

Hyejin was once a dancer, too, but she worked her way into a management position, and all the family men who come to the bar treat her like a sister, including Jeongguk, who only reluctantly calls her Hyejin-noona because she is two years older than him and likes to insist on the nickname. 

She teases Jimin at times, too, being several months older than he is, and she uses it to her advantage when she wants him to do something for her. Jimin always grumbles, rolling his eyes while fulfilling her requests to make the stages and dress rooms better for the dancers, but he does everything out of love for her, and for his dancers, and he is grateful to have her on his management team, giving him advice on how to improve.

Hyejin is, in a word, amazing.

"I see the way you look at her," Jimin teases you tonight the moment she walks in sporting a red one-piece latex bodysuit with long sleeves and a deep v-collar, putting her thighs on glorious display. She wears matching red thigh-high boots, and her long, dark brown hair falls past her shoulders in waves.

Although you turn your head in the direction of Jimin's voice, your eyes stay on Hyejin as she struts over to the bar where Jeongguk is leaning forward on his elbows, getting his attention by draping herself over him and slamming her hip against his side. 

"Hmm?" you finally ask when seeing the two of them standing side-by-side has your cheeks feeling entirely too warm, though it still takes a few stray seconds to pull your gaze to Jimin. 

He has one perfectly manicured eyebrow raised, and he tongues the inside of his cheek, making you feel even more embarrassed. You are only human…what does he expect from you?

Tonight, Jimin wears silver shimmer on his eyes, with his brown hair styled off his forehead. His black satin button-up is undone to the center of his chest, and it is tucked into very tight, fitted black slacks, styled with black boots. 

Everyone at Paradise is honestly so breathtaking; it is no wonder the place brings in so many high-rollers willing to spend top dollar. Although you are determined to keep Jimin as a friend only—not that he has ever shown signs of wanting more from you—you still find yourself stunned by his beauty.

"Gonna start calling you fawn instead of dove," Jimin teases, and you snicker at the wordplay, unwilling or able to deny you have been fawning over Hyejin since the moment you met her. 

"I need a pet name bingo card," you tease, scrunching your nose to feign annoyance, despite finding it cute. 

You smell a familiar perfume—bright floral and lightly fruity—dance softly in the air before you feel an arm sling around your waist, and you take a fortifying breath before turning to find Hyejin's beaming red smile inches from your face. 

"Hey, dove," she greets in a deep, sultry tone that makes every little hair on your body stand up. 

"Hey, Hyejin," you respond as your cheeks become hot.

"What are you up to tonight?" she asks, giving your waist a squeeze before sliding her arm away but staying just as close. "Practicing any more of your dance moves?"

You giggle and shake your head, feeling nervous about talking to her, of all people, about dancing. Once Jimin let it slip that he was showing you floor moves, both Hyejin and Jeongguk began hounding you for a demonstration. 

"Ahhhh, probably not," you respond, sounding just as awkward as you feel. "I was planning on sitting here tonight and drinking all of Jimin's expensive whiskey for free."

Hyejin pouts and it sends your heart haywire, making you nearly cave. "I want to see your moves," she says in a sweet, baby voice that has you floundering for words—deciding that you would probably do anything to satisfy her. 

"Maybe once I feel more confident," you respond demurely, nibbling on your bottom lip. 

This seems to satisfy her, and she winks as she says, "Looking forward to it," before walking off to the dressing rooms to check on her dancers. 

"Holy shit," you mutter under your breath once she is gone, catching your breath as if you had just run a marathon. 

Jimin scoffs, teasing you as he says, "You are such a whore," and you laugh with him, rubbing your palms over your face. The effect that she has on you must be as obvious to her as it is to everyone else, and the prospect of that makes you nervous.

You have begun to dress a little nicer when you visit Paradise, starting from the first night Hyejn was introduced to you—wearing the more casual designer dresses that Jimin graciously brought from your room at the mansion, and letting him do your hair and makeup. She always gets a little too close when you have your cleavage showing, so you have been displaying it more and more lately.

"She's just so pretty," you complain as if it is an inconvenience, making Jimin laugh anymore. 

"Careful, doll," Jeongguk's voice speaks way too close to your right ear, causing you to gasp and flinch, turning in the direction of the sound. "Keep flirting with her and it might make me jealous."

You scoff and lean away from Jeongguk, who only crowds closer, teasing you with a grin. Recently, Jeongguk has gotten his eyebrow and lip pierced, both on the right side—your left—and he keeps his hair cut short with a sharp, dark undercut. Today, his hair is styled in a swoop over his forehead, and his delicate, floral musky scent is dizzying the closer he gets. 

Since working at Paradise, Jeongguk has begun to dress a little differently, and you find yourself unable to keep from sneaking glances at the slivers of skin he kept hidden behind buttons and t-shirts before. He continues to don his standard all-black attire, but he has also switched to satin, much like Jimin. His shirts are always unbuttoned to the center of his toned chest with no undershirt, and tonight he has several silver chains of various lengths and widths cascading from his neck. 

"I wouldn't dream of it," you tease as you take a step away from Jeongguk and spin on your toes, toward the bar. A sexy R&B song plays loudly, and you swish your hips to the rhythm, knowing without having to glance back that he is watching you. 

And although you tell yourself that you should not enjoy his attention so much—or anyone's attention, for that matter—you revel in the thrill it gives you. Yoongi and Namjoon have both encouraged you to pursue him, anyway…surely they wouldn't mind if you have a little innocent fun. After all, you have no idea when you may see the two of them again.

Nights at Jimin's house are lonely. His mansion is huge and empty, and you prefer not to spend much time there by yourself, which means you tend to be at Paradise from late evening to mid-morning most nights. At first, you thought your sleep schedule would adjust and you would become a night owl just like Jimin and Jeongguk, but as the days wear on, you find yourself exhausted, floating through a realm of half-wakefulness. The drinking likely does not help. 

But what other choice do you have? Despite the deep ache behind your ribs, it feels too soon to return to Namjoon. During a brief phone call shortly after returning from Paris, he mentioned Yoongi was in the countryside at a facility to help him get past the first three weeks of withdrawal. 

From time to time, you find yourself wondering how long it has been since you returned from Paris. It could have been weeks, but it could have been days; you have been disinterested in keeping track, finding the tangible passage of time too painful to confront. You figure the time will come when they are both ready to return to you and not a moment sooner; no use dwelling on it.

On the nights when all you wish to do is let go and forget, you either sit at the center stage and watch the strip shows with a drink in hand, or you head to the upper-level VIP section of the club and dance by the railings. When you are feeling outgoing, you find a group of drunk, friendly women by the back bar to become single-use friends with for the night and dance until bar close. 

Back when you first moved into the mansion, Paradise was apparently a dance club with a brothel beneath, just like Serendipity. But during the weeks leading up to your Paris trip, Jimin had been working on getting the space remodeled—hence why you had not seen him around much, for a while. There still is a dancefloor, but it is rather compact near the back bar; not too many people come to Paradise just to dance. 

The main room now consists of three stages—two smaller ones on either side of the room, and one large stage in the center, all equipped with a spinning poll. Everything is made up of dark wood, black leather, and chrome.

Beneath Paradise, there are still brothel rooms, but it is a very hush-hush affair that not too many patrons seem aware of. A patron can book any of the dancers for a private strip show and lap dance in a back room, but anything explicitly sexual is kept strictly to the lower level, and unless someone knows how to ask for it, they will get removed from the premises in a heartbeat. 

Jimin oversees all Paradise operations, but his main focus is on the activities that take place underground. Jeongguk and Hyejin oversee everything on the main floors, including the strip stages, the back bar and dancefloor, and the VIP bar upstairs, which is more or less just a mezzanine with a bar and booths that cost a pretty penny to use. 

Paradise is your oyster, and you more or less have free reign to do anything you would like.

During the nights when you do not feel like drinking, you go to the dance studio. Sometimes, Jimin goes along to let off some steam, either before he needs to run things at Paradise, or when he has a break in his duties. Other times, you go alone. 

You have been getting a hang of moving your body in ways Jimin has shown you, and in new ways that you are discovering on your own. And although you are nowhere near as flexible or fluid as he is, you are surprised by how your body can bend and move and stretch when you allow it patience and grace to learn how. You get why he, and the other dancers at Paradise, take so much pride in their craft. To the patron, it may just seem like stripping and ass-shaking for some loose notes, but to them, and to you, it truly is an art form.

On nights when you dance, the loneliness is not at all quelled, and you find yourself spacing out often and getting lost in your thoughts. But the more you move and let out all of your pent-up energy, the lighter the loneliness seems to feel. Some nights you are able to relax and feel at peace, rolling and stretching your body without a care in the world. It gives you hope that there truly may be a light at the end of this tunnel, no matter how long it takes for you to reach it.  

"Hey, pretty," a familiar sultry voice purrs, giving you goosebumps. 

It is some unknown night in the middle of the week, and you left a group of bachelorettes by the back bar to step outside and smoke a joint. It is rare that anyone is out here, and you are surprised to find Hyejin, of all people, leaning against the brick wall in this quiet, employees-only escape tucked away in a dark alley. This spot is nestled behind a tall fence, past which is a set of dumpsters and a narrow path out to the main roads.

Hyejin is beautiful as always, wearing a black long-sleeve crop top shirt and high-waisted short shorts, under which black garters stick out and are clipped to black thigh-high socks. Her hair is pulled back into a bun, slicked on the sides, and as she approaches, her mary jane heels clack against the pavement. 

"Hyejin," you mutter, swallowing thickly and abandoning the joint you had forgotten to light, cradling it in your fist. "Didn't realize you would be out here."

Tonight, she wears a nude lipstick rather than the red you have grown accustomed to, and her smile is not quite as warm. As she approaches, you are greeted by her lightly fruity, floral perfume. 

"Stepped out for a breather," she sighs, eyes falling to your hand before they meet your gaze. With a raise of her eyebrows, she adds, "Mind if I help you smoke that?"

Your brain has to reboot before you lift your hand to inspect its contents, and you remember what you came outside for, chuckling as you hold out the joint and lighter to her and say, "Of course. You can hit greens."

Every once in a while, Hyejin will smile shyly. She has a practiced shy smile that she uses on Jimin, Jeongguk, and plenty of her customers—honed to perfection to get just what she wants. But this one is soft and delicate, filling her beautifully golden-tawny-toned cheeks with a deep red blush. 

As she unfurls the soft smile that opens into a toothy grin, she reaches out both slender manicured hands and takes your offering, gently scratching her long, painted-black fingernails against your palms. The sensation sends a shiver through you, and you giggle, squeezing your hands shut before opening them again.

"That tickles," you admit when she looks curiously, laughing softly at you.

"You're easily ticklish, hmm?" she mutters with the joint cradled between her lips, then flicks on the lighter, giving her face a beautiful golden glow while igniting the tip and sucking in. 

Hyejin takes a slow inhale followed by a sharp one, then holds her breath and passes the joint to you. When she lets out an exhale, smoke plumes in front of her, and you take a nice, big hit and hold it in, just the same. 

The smoke is warm in your lungs and licks at your senses. As you breathe it out, you feel a small sense of release, letting your shoulders drop and your body relax. 

When you turn to hand the joint back to Hyejin, she is standing much closer, leaning on the sliver of brick wall between you and the closed back door. You instinctively take a step back but rotate so that you are facing her, with barely any space between you. This time, when she smiles, her eyes have the sparkle that you are used to, but there is still an unmissable hint of sadness swirling in their deep umber depths. 

"You know, you can always talk to me if you need someone," she offers unprompted as she takes a hit and hands the joint back. 

You nod and mull it over, unsure where you would even begin. You have no idea what Hyejin knows about your situation, and although you think you can trust her, there is a part of you that is unsure whether you really want to talk about it, especially right now. 

"Thank you," you say before taking a hit and holding it in. Hyejin turns her head to blow the smoke away from your face, then she reaches out one hand and gently rubs her fingertips over your wrist, snaking them into the sleeve of your black denim jacket and sending a tingling warmth into your bloodstream.

You turn your head to exhale, then hold up the joint, asking, "More?"

"I'm good right now," she responds softly, and you move your hand away from her inviting touch to pinch the lit end off onto the ground. In your pocket is a small plastic tube into which you slide the joint, placing a little plastic cap over the end so that its smell does not stick to your clothing, and then you return your arm to its spot and allow her fingers to resume exploring your wrist and hand.

"I appreciate the offer," you try, hearing the way your voice trembles as the weed settles over you and fills you with a heavy-weightless warmth, buzzing in a deep thrum that tenses and relaxes and relaxes and relaxes. Sheepishly, with a giggle, you add, "I don't…really know where to begin."

Hyejin's hand sides into yours, palm against palm, fingers wrapping and holding on tight. 

"That's okay," she responds with a disarming smile. "I just wanted to offer, just in case. I know you have Jimin and Jeongguk, too."

At this, you laugh and sink further against the brick wall, tilting your head to rest against the scratchy, unwelcoming surface. "I do have them…for better or worse."

Hyejin laughs in understanding, then she rolls her eyes and says, "Jeongguk is so possessive; I thought the two of you were dating when you first started coming around."

"Oh?" you respond, a bit surprised by this news. Admittedly, when you first began coming to Paradise, you thought there was something going on between the two of them. It took a couple nights to realize that the way Hyejin hangs off of and pouts at her manager is all an act. "We're…not…" you begin, trailing off, unsure what to say.

"He clearly has feelings for you, regardless," she adds, and you search her face and fidget in place. Hyejin seems genuine and sweet, but you are so used to women in this line of work having ulterior motives and using kindness as a tool to gain information and an upper hand. But that does not seem to be what she is doing, and you let out the breath that had gotten trapped in your lungs and nod, chuckling lightly. 

"Yeah," you admit, feeling your cheeks warm. "He…certainly does."

"Oh my god," Hyejin teases, squeezing your hand until you look at her wide, beaming smile. "You like him too, don't you?"

Try as you might to shake your head and mutter, "No," she mirrors the movement, laughing and practically shouting, "Yes, you definitely do! You are a terrible liar, dove!" 

"It's…complicated," you mutter, squeezing your eyes shut with embarrassment. 

A sweet giggle flits through the air like a flutter of butterflies, and you open your eyes to find Hyejin regarding you with the sweetest smile. 

"I won't judge you," she assures, giving your hand another squeeze. "I don't know a lot about your relationship, but Jimin has mentioned you are dating two men, which…honestly, sounds like a dream come true."

Your heart seizes a bit around the word dating, and you swallow thickly and nod, unwilling to go down that path. Nothing has ever been established, despite your confessions of love and the huge, expensive fake-engagement ring that sits in your dark, empty bedroom. Sometimes, if you allow yourself to dwell on it, both the distance and time spent away from them make you worry that things may have an end date that is sooner than you expect. 

But none of this is pertinent enough information to share at a time like this, so you smile as convincingly as you can while saying, "It has its perks."

Hyejin returns your smile and closes the already meager space between the two of you to press a kiss against your cheek. Her mouth is soft and warm, and you let your eyes flutter closed, smiling from the smell of bluebells and apple that fills your senses. As she pulls her lips back, she stays close, cradling your chin with her hand while opening her mouth to continue speaking. However, the back door flies open, cutting off what she was going to say.

The sight of Jeongguk looking around the corner makes you gasp and back up, kicking up a flurry of feelings in your chest. Despite nothing happening between you and Hyejn, this feels like too precarious of a position to be caught in suddenly. Daresay, it may appear somewhat intimate. 

Jeongguk's expression is wide and shocked, but it quickly melts to intrigue. He steps outside and approaches, slinging an arm over both your shoulder and Hyejin's. 

"Well, what have we here?" he asks with a tone that is far too gleeful for anyone's good. 

"I was just telling our dove that I am here if she needs anything, and then I gave her a kiss on the cheek," Hyejin says, turning to Jeongguk and standing on her toes to plant her lips against his jaw. 

Jeongguk looks affronted and gasps as she says, "There, now nobody is left out."

"Listen, I'm not here to break up whatever is going on between my favorite girls." Jeongguk says, gaze on you as he raises an eyebrow and adds, "I just didn't know our doll swings both ways."

Feeling indignant and a little claustrophobic, you shrug away from Jeongguk's arm and give his shoulder a shove. 

"For your information, I go…all ways…" you mutter with a grimace, trailing off because you do not owe him an explanation. Labels for sexual orientation may work for some, but they have never been your thing; you like people for people, and it is as simple as that. Defensive, you add, "But she was just giving me a friendly little kiss on the cheek, so it doesn't matter."

Jeongguk grunts unconvincingly, then leans in close to say, "But a kiss between friends can easily spiral into something more, can it not?"

With that, Jeongguk takes a step back, leaving you standing shell-shocked and ready to smack him. Jeongguk winks and says, "Hyejin-noona, when you're ready, I have some things I wanna go over with for tonight," then he walks inside. 

Hyejin holds out her elbow, asking, "Shall we?" and you lift a hand to slide against her soft skin, allowing her to lead the way. 

Once you are back inside, the bachelorette group is still at the back bar, drunker and louder than when you left them, and you wave Hyejin and Jeongguk off as you walk over and allow the women to pull you into their chaotic little group for shots. 

You wake up late in the evening with a hangover after hanging with the bachelorette group the night and morning before, taking shot after shot of overly sweet liquor that was far too strong for its own good. It feels like it has been ages since you have felt so awful, and the thought of having even a drop more of alcohol makes your stomach churn.

So, tonight, rather than go to Paradise, you decide to visit the dance studio to practice the floor moves Jimin has been teaching you. Although you are still certain you have no desire to dance at the club, practicing the moves has been cathartic. And it helps you slow down on drinking. Being a lush for a while has definitely been one way to handle your myriad tumultuous emotions, but the hangovers are too frequent, and after what you felt earlier today, you are eager to change your ways.

Dancing also makes you feel sexy. You enjoy watching the way your body can curve and flex, bending and swaying in ways you had never really attempted before. Tonight you alternate between taking moves slowly on the floor, facing away from the mirrors, before attempting to add speed and flow to them while watching your reflection. 

With the cassette mixtape that Jimin has scribbled Whore Mix onto playing through the boombox, you stretch on a dark purple yoga mat that sits in the center of the floor while a sultry voice sings and raps over a beat that begs your hips to move, with the mirrors to your left and the studio door behind you.  

The approaching click-clack of boots against the wooden floor that greets you does not strike you as odd at first; you have grown accustomed to Jimin and his affinity for boots. So you continue practicing without turning to greet him.

Anchored back on your elbows, sitting on the mat on your left hip, with both legs bent, you stretch your right leg straight and fan it out at an angle lifted in front of you. In the same fluid motion, you lift your left leg, creating a v-shape in the air. Then you curl your legs in, trying to perfect the graceful movement that Jimin is so good at, twisting until you are on your right hip.

Only when clapping echoes through the room do you realize that the boots had stopped moving and that the tell-tale frenetic energy Jimin always brings to the studio is missing. You turn with a gasp and find Jeongguk standing in the center of the room, wearing his standard all-black. His button-up is undone enough to show a dip of his chest, as always, with no shirt underneath, and it is tucked into black slacks that are so fitted, the material strains against his thighs when he shifts from one foot to the other. 

"My, my," Jeongguk teases, approaching before squatting beside you. "What have I walked in on?"

Instinctively, you lean away, feeling warmth flood your cheeks. You sit wearing a tight purple sports bra and very tight, very short black athletic shorts, making you self-conscious to be met with such a hungry stare, especially knowing that he had been watching you, just now. 

"Jeongguk," you mutter, having to clear your throat to get more sound out. "What are you doing here?"

"I was coming to see if Jimin was here. Wanted to run a few things by him."

You nod, feeling like a fish out of water with how your mouth hangs open. Jeongguk's cologne is stronger than usual and a little different tonight—musky and floral with hints of spice—and you find it incredibly intoxicating. 

"But what I found is far more enticing," Jeongguk continues with a smirk.

Silence falls between you, and you feel your hands prickle with sweat. All you can think about is that kiss in Hong Kong and the chemistry you found in his lips—how delicately he asserted control but never pushed or pulled too much, causing you to unravel in moments. You want to feel that again—want to feel him again—so much that it seems like a bad idea for you to be left alone with him, like this. Flirting in the club, with people around, is one thing, but here, alone, seems dangerous.

Jeongguk stands, and you let out a heavy breath, then swallow a lump, feeling relief wash over you at the thought of him leaving. But then he walks over to the corner, to where some black chairs are shoved together, and he grabs one. Anxiety washes over you when he begins to bring the chair over, boot heels echoing loudly against the floor as he places it beside you and has a seat. He spreads his legs and leans forward, resting his wrists against his knees, tattooed hands so close you could reach out to him. 

With his lips tugged into a sharp grin, he says, "Let me see that move again."

You must look as stunned as you feel, blinking up at him, because he chuckles and raises his pierced eyebrow, clearly amused by your lack of response. 

"Come on, dollface," Jeongguk teases, leaning even closer and dropping his voice far too low for comfort. "Don't be shy."

Even as nervous as you are under his piercing stare, you like the attention he gives you. But continuing what was started between you without Yoongi or Namjoon present feels wrong, and it stirs up guilt and shame, starting in your tummy and working its way to your throat. You want to show Jeongguk your moves and crawl to him, grind your hips over his lap until he calls you noona and begs you for more. But not here. Not like this. 

Luckily, the click-clack that actually belongs to Jimin's boots storms down the hallway and into the room, giving you an out. 

"I told you to meet me in my office," Jimin complains, approaching with his hands on his hips, one balled into a fist that holds onto a manilla envelope. "Why did you come here? To bother her?"

"I must have misread the text," Jeongguk responds, eyes still on you while they glimmer mischievously before turning his attention to Jimin. "Office…dance studio…same thing."

Jimin lunges forward and slaps the envelope against the back of Jeongguk's head, saying, "Not the same thing, and you know it!" before shoving the document into his hands. 

You watch somewhat stunned as Jeongguk's mouth falls agape, and he chuckles. Then, as he begins to open and read through the contents of the folder, you take your leave, rolling the yoga mat in your hands as you walk away. Draped over one of the black chairs in the corner is a black hoodie and sweatpants, and you pad over, set the mat onto a chair, and slink into the garments, keeping your hair tucked into the shirt and the hood pulled low over your face.

"Gonna head back to work," Jimin says in a flurry, exiting just as fast as he arrived with the folder in his hand. "Come to the club if you want. Or call me if you need anything."

With a nod, you turn on your toes and begin for the door.

"And just where are you going?" Jeongguk asks, stopping you in your tracks and pushing a sigh from your lungs.

"Home," you say before your lips flounder, and you correct yourself, heavy-blinking. "Jimin's place."

With a hum, Jeongguk stands and says, "I'll drive you," picking up his chair to bring it back to where he got it from. 

Although you have made no plans for a ride, you know that Hoseok was at the club earlier, and you had planned to call and see if he was around. Jeongguk giving you a ride would definitely be convenient, but is that something you want right now?

"You have work to do," you insist, shaking your head and feeling nervous at the thought of being in a vehicle alone with him. 

But Jeongguk sets the chair down, takes you by the back of the arm, and begins to usher you rather forcefully out the door. As your sneaker heels dig into the wooden floor, rubber squeaking with each step he makes you take, you feel petulant, and you are dragged to the dark hallway before you manage to yank yourself out of his grasp and take an uneasy step back.

"What the fuck are you doing?" you ask, feeling anger rise and fighting the urge to slap him. 

"What?" Jeongguk says through a chuckle, looming over you while he steps forward, closing the distance with each step you take backward until you hit the wall. "You're dancing like a whore now, so I figured you wanted to be treated like one, too."

Although you feel anger buzzing through you like a livewire, sending every nerve on high alert, more than anything, you feel deflated. Despite Jimin jokingly using that word to tease you, there is something about the way Jeongguk says it—something almost sardonic and mocking in his tone, met with how forcefully he dragged you out of the room. It settles like bile in your guts and makes you feel extremely uncomfortable. 

But, rather than put up a fight and challenge him, you storm away, shoving past his weak attempt to hold you back as you stomp toward the door. 

"Hey," Jeongguk calls, heavy footsteps trailing behind you. "What's the matter with you?"

Unable to hold in your rage, you spin on your toes, shoving your palms against Jeongguk's chest as you say, "What's the matter with you?"

Jeongguk hardly flinches, and when you step forward to push him again, he grips onto your wrists and holds you still, tugging you close to him but not in a way that is meant to be rough or suggestive. He almost looks worried, brows knit as he studies your face. 

"Hey, hey," he mutters, holding onto you just tight enough that you have no choice but to stop lashing out. 

Somehow it works. Maybe because you are exhausted, or maybe it is the floral, musky scent of his cologne—or a combination of things wrecking your tiny sense of sanity—but you hold still and let Jeongguk softly shush you while rubbing his thumbs over the knobby joints in your wrists.

"I don't like it when you talk about women that way," you say, feeling a swell of sadness fill your chest. You are aware that this is likely a trauma response to the way men have treated you in the past, but you need to at least attempt to establish a boundary. "I know we joke about it at the club, but the way you said it, I—" You close your eyes and shake your head. 

"When have I ever talked about women that way?" Jeongguk asks, voice sounding more defensive than apologetic. "Look, I was joking. I'm sorry."

"Just don't do it, okay?" you insist, yanking your hands away until Jeongguk relents and folding your arms over your chest. "I was a whore before, Jeongguk. Is it so terrible? Do you really need to make it sound so demeaning? Yoongi's mother was a whore, too, you know."

Jeongguk's face pales, and he appears angry for a split moment, but you do not attempt to argue. Perhaps it is out of pocket to bring up Yoongi's dead mother, but you were a part of the honey bees who came after her; you belonged to the same organization, come hell and high water. 

"You're right," he says, taking a step back and sliding his hands into his pockets. "I don't look down on sex workers, and I shouldn't talk as if I do. I'm sorry I offended you. I know that we make jokes, and I guess I got carried away. I didn't consider how even playful actions might bring up bad memories for you, and I get what that's like."

Surprised and unsure what to say, you rock on your feet a little before settling on, "Okay."

"My mother was a whore too," Jeongguk adds, stepping forward slowly. "I never held it against her. Even when it got her killed, I never thought badly about her."

There it is, once more—the taste of guilt.

"Jeongguk," you say, taking a step forward, but he holds up his hand and shakes his head. 

"I offended you. I'm the one apologizing. Let me make it up to you by driving you home?"

You nod, conceding. "Alright."

The walk to Jeongguk's black sports car is quiet in a way that feels charged and awkward, but as you settle in, you begin to relax. Silence continues to hang during most of the drive, and all the while, you think of Yoongi. As you stare out at the city lights that fade the further you get from the city, you wonder how he must be doing and whether he will return home soon. 

"Did you supply the heroin?" you ask without thinking, staring out at the dark roads past the city line. 

As silence stretches, part of you worries that Jeongguk might be offended by your question, and you keep your eyes on the shadowed hints of trees, refusing to acknowledge the expression on his face. 

Finally, Jeongguk mutters a simple, "No," and you allow yourself to regard him. 

Jeongguk's jaw is tense, and he stares ahead at the road, tonguing on the inside of his mouth while both hands tightly grip the steering wheel.

"I didn't think you did," you respond softly, watching as his pierced eyebrow raises. "I don't know why I felt compelled to ask."

Jeongguk's gaze flicks to you, then back on the road. "Because you overheard my conversation with Namjoon that morning outside your bedroom. And because I was the one in charge of the drug operations."

"Yeah," you respond with a shrug. "But I don't think you would be that careless."

With a hum from Jeongguk, silence settles once more. You relax back in your seat, watching the road curve and become a little hilly before evening out. By now, you are familiar with this stretch, anticipating the sight of the property to come into view very soon. 

Whenever you pass the mansion these days, it is dark and quiet. If not for the outdoor security lights, it would be nothing more than a looming shadow—a silhouetted remnant of lives at a standstill. Namjoon must sleep in his own home, and from time to time, you consider walking down the dirt and gravel path to his property to see him.

But everything feels off balance in a way that you struggle to reconcile, and you feel like you need a little more time. You fish your phone from your hoodie pocket and check his Instagram feed, sad to see he has not posted anything to his story. 

Namjoon likes to post his workout routines, what he is listening to, and shots from trips to museums. Lately, though, he barely shares anything, making the lack of his presence feel heavier. You nearly ask Jeongguk to drop you off at his place, but you cannot seem to open your mouth to get the words out.

Instead, you text him. 

You: It's hard to keep tabs on you when you don't post story updates.

The message feels stupid, and you chew on the inside of your mouth once you hit send, staring at the screen and hoping that when he sees it, he does not find it annoying. Is there a chance of him being offended?

Three dots appear and disappear, over and over, making the anxiety in your tummy frantically build and crash like a wave pool that has just been switched on. But then he sends a simple little sentence that stirs both immense joy and deep, profound sadness— 

Namjoon: I miss you too, sweetheart.

—and you stare down at it until your vision blurs with tears.

As you open your mouth to ask to be taken to Namjoon's house, the dots appear and disappear again, and rather than speak, you clear your throat and wait for him to say more. 

"What is it?" Jeongguk asks, and you turn your head to him, confused at first, then realize he may have taken the sound as a feeble attempt at starting a conversation. 

"Oh," you respond, "Uh, nothing."

"Alright," Jeongguk says simply as he begins to turn into Jimin's driveway, waiting as the metal gate opens and allows you entrance.

As you pull into the drive, listening to the gate close behind you, the urge to cry becomes more difficult to tamp down. You swallow thickly, blinking away tears as Jeongguk stalls in front of the door. 

"You good?" Jeongguk asks, and you turn to regard him, but as soon as you open your mouth to tell him you are fine, the sounds die in your throat, and you have to swallow everything back down again. 

"Th-thanks for the ride," you manage to mutter as you get out of the vehicle and run to Jimin's door, punching in an eight-digit code and holding your eyes open as wide as you can manage for the retina scan. 

Once inside the dark, empty mansion, you sink against the cold, wooden door, feeling your chest heave with emotion so deep, you become nauseated. Gripped in your fist, your cell phone vibrates, and you lift the device in a shaking hand, checking the notification—

Namjoon: I miss your voice. And your smile. I hope you're taking care of yourself.

—which sends you crashing over the edge as tears pour and your voice comes out in a loud, terrible sob.

Your heart pounds as you cry, feeling the crushing weight of how deeply you miss Namjoon. Although each breath that enters and exits your lungs is a storm, rattling and shaking you to the core, you sniffle and hold your phone tightly in both hands as you place a call. It is late, but Namjoon is responding to texts, so perhaps he is free to talk. 

Namjoon picks up on the first ring, and when his deep, surprised voice says, "Hey, sweetheart," you sob even harder. How is it that something so tiny could make his absence feel so much heavier?

"Hey," Namjoon says, sweet and alert, "are you alright? Where are you?"

"I'm okay," you cry, punctuated by a sniffle. "I'm at Jimin's. Everything is fine."

"Everything does not sound fine," Namjoon insists, and you smile softly at his concern, taking in a deep breath. "Do you need something? Can I…can I do anything?"

Namjoon still owes you an explanation, and it is not something you will easily let slip. But you are certain that you cannot continue to keep him at a distance, even if it means putting the much-needed conversation on the back burner. Although life with Jimin has been fun and a little exciting, the loneliness you feel from being away from Namjoon and Yoongi has a tendency to become excruciating. 

"Can I see you?" you ask weakly, like a child who is afraid of being scolded. 

The soft chuckle that proceeds, "Of course, you can," warms your heart, and you close your eyes and smile wide, clutching your phone tightly to your ear. "Give me ten minutes? I'll be right there."

With a wet, disgusting sniffle, you say, "Okay," and rub the back of your hand against your nose. 

"I'll be there soon," Namjoon says as he ends the call, and you nod to nobody as you drop your phone down and clench it to your heart. 

It takes effort, but you peel yourself from the floor and kick off your shoes before heading up the stairs to your borrowed bedroom, squinting as you switch on the light. The room is similar to your room in Yoongi's mansion, but the bedding and curtains are pinks and oranges—a permanent sunrise. 

As you cross the room to the walk-in closet, you pull off the joggers and athleticwear from earlier and find a cute, soft pair of pink sleep shorts and a matching, loose pink tee. Then you run into the bathroom to brush your teeth. Even though you did not drink anything tonight, you want to kiss Namjoon until your lips bruise, and you need to be minty fresh. 

By the time you are rinsing your mouth and wiping your chin off, you hear a loud knocking on the front door, surprised that ten minutes could have passed so quickly. You run out of the ensuite and find your phone on the bed to shoot off a message before heading down to let Namjoon in.

You: One minute!

Although the rest of the mansion is dark, Jimin also has security lights on outside, and they shine through the windows enough to cast a silver glow over the small mezzanine and down the steps. You scurry down quickly, feet carrying you light and fast, and when you get to the front door and fling it open, you hardly have a chance to take in the sight of Namjoon before he is crossing the threshold and lifting you into his arms. 

A sob quakes through you as you wrap your arms and legs around him, burying your face into his neck. He smells musky—a bit sweaty—but the bright cologne with gentle floral hints you are used to are present. Namjoon closes the front door, haphazardly steps from his shoes, and makes his way to the stairs, stepping slowly as he holds you tight. If you are not mistaken, it feels like his breathing shutters through him, and you wonder if he may also be crying. 

"I'm sorry," you find yourself muttering when the silence stretches on long and oppressive. 

Namjoon squeezes you harder. 

"No," he says softly, voice trembling, "sweetheart, you have nothing to be sorry for."

"I made you cry," you sob, feeling guilt and sadness fill your lungs until it hurts to breathe.

Namjoon chuckles and sniffles, reaching the top landing of the stairs and turning to the right, toward the only light in the home that is on. He says, "Making someone cry is a side-effect of being in love, I'm afraid," and your heart goes wild behind your ribs, bursting with affection. 

"I've missed you so much," you whimper against Namjoon's skin, and when he leans forward and attempts to put you down onto the bed, you tighten your limbs, clinging to him like a koala.

"Let me set you down so we can get comfortable," Namjoon suggests, and you shake your head, groaning as you hold on tighter. He sighs, and tries, "Come on, I want to see you. I want to kiss you."

Once his attempts are futile, Namjoon gets onto his knees on the bed and bends until you are lying on your back with him towering over you. You finally move your head away from his neck and heavy-blink as you meet his eyes—which are bloodshot and blinking back tears.

"I've missed you too," Namjoon says as he kisses you, soft and sweet and warm. "I'm so sorry for everything that happened. I should have told you about everything, but I was scared to."

Namjoon's kisses are salty and wet, and he trembles above you, gripping the blanket tightly in his fists on either side of your head. Finally, you concede to his need to get comfortable, and you press against his chest, rubbing your fingers over soft black cotton. 

"Hey, lay down," you say softly, pushing a little harder. "You were right, let's get comfortable."

Namjoon sighs through his tears and gets up onto his knees, then crawls over to the pillows and makes a feeble attempt at moving the bright pink and orange floral comforter away. You sit up and help him, then run to the door to close it before adjusting the dimmer switch, lowering the lights just enough so that you can still see him. 

When you turn back to the bed, Namjoon has figured out the comforter, which is bunched up at the end of the against his feet, and he is sitting against the wooden headboard with his hands in his lap, watching you with a soft expression while tear tracks shimmer against his cheeks. He wears a black tee and black joggers, with his legs extended out but one leg bent slightly at the knee, and he is breathtaking—just as you remembered him. Maybe even more so. 

He has gotten a haircut recently, just above his ears, making him look younger. And it is darker; a more natural color. Some time ago—maybe a few days, or maybe a week—Namjoon posted a mirror selfie of the cut, obstructed mostly by his phone, and you are happy to finally see it in person. 

As you get onto the bed, on your knees, Namjoon reaches for you, pulling against the backs of your thighs until you have no choice but to straddle his lap, giggling at his insistence. You settle and drape your wrists over his shoulders to rub your fingertips over the short hairs on his nape while Namjoon's smile oscillates between joy and sadness. 

"I want to tell you I'm sorry," you begin, without giving him a chance to speak. You have been thinking about this every sober waking moment of however much time has passed—and some intoxicated moments, as well—and you feel it is necessary to get it off your chest. Emotions rise as you gather your thoughts, and your next exhale comes out shaky. "I was angry in Paris, but the things I said to you and Yoongi did not come from the heart. I was hurt, and I still am, but…I don't understand addiction. I have no idea what Yoongi must be going through, and I—"

You choke on a sob suddenly as a flash of Yoongi's face comes into view. The hurt way in which he stared ahead, straight through you, while you screamed and cried and demanded to be taken home.

Gently, Namjoon rubs his hands up and down your back, covering you in comforting warmth. His smile is sad, but he does his best to show that he is listening and that he is receptive to what you need to say.

"I just feel so awful," you continue as tears fall. You are so tired of crying and hurting, but it is a necessary step in healing, and you do your best to let it quake through you and settle into your bones. "I love Yoongi. I don't want him to be in pain."

"He knows," Namjoon finally says, but you screw your eyes closed and shake your head. He may have an idea of what you are going through, but he needs to hear from you that you are sorry. You need to tell him, yourself. "Yoongi using again was a bit of a surprise to all of us. Although it is something I always fear may happen again, I really had no idea it would happen like that, especially on vacation."

"When is he coming home?" you ask, feeling hopeful.

"Less than a week," Namjoon responds, smiling sweetly as he lifts his hands to thumb away the tears on your cheeks. "I have cleaned out the mansion, and Jeongguk has made sure the team taking over his responsibilities knows that heroin and other opioids are off limits. Jeongguk was already avoiding selling either in the first place, but he has reiterated that fact, to be on the safe side."

"That day, outside my room, you said there was a package with what looked like heroin," you say, watching as Namjoon's face screws up with worry. You grimace, adding, "I'm sorry I was eavesdropping."

"That…I still don't have all the details ironed out," Namjoon responds sullenly, "but I am certain that Jeongguk had nothing to do with it. Yoongi admitted that he had sent for the package on his own, and it arrived from overseas with a bunch of tailored suits. I don't know how he got a connect in Italy, but I really shouldn't be surprised; Yoongi knows people everywhere."

You nod somewhat listlessly, waiting for the crucial detail where Namjoon tells you he threatened the Italian guy, or found some way to rough him up—whatever the case—in order to keep him from sending Yoongi junk again. But when he does not continue, worry and sadness sink into your tummy like a brick. 

"So…" you begin, heavy-blinking and feeling at a loss for words before settling on, "...how do we make sure he doesn't use again?"

Although Namjoon continues to smile, his eyebrows pinch sympathetically, and he returns to rubbing your back. 

"We just love and support him," he offers, which feels both gigantic and minuscule, all things considered. "We continue to be there for him and…hope that it is enough."

"That's it, huh," you sigh, defeated. 

"Yeah."

Silence hangs, and you let your vision blur, attempting to sort out what you could possibly do. What if loving Yoongi is not enough? What if the pressures of his lifestyle only continue to press and press on him until he sinks another needle into his vein, desperate for relief?

"I wish he could just…not do this anymore," you mutter, blinking Namjoon back into focus. "Maybe having all this power and responsibility is too much."

With a sad chuckle, Namjoon nods. "Yeah, well…the only way out of a life like his is death."

Although that is not the response you want, it is the one you expect, and you lean heavily into Namjoon, accepting it for now. There is not much more to say until Yoongi is back. 

"Can we sleep?" you ask, feeling your body become weighted down with exhaustion and warm with a comfort you have not felt in what has seemed like eons. 

"I would love to sleep," Namjoon responds sweetly, releasing you from his hold as you slide down to the bed and begin to reach for the comforter. 

Namjoon gets out of bed to turn off the light, and for a split moment, in the cold, crushing dark, you begin to feel anxiety rush over you. In the cold, crushing dark, you are alone, alone, alone, isolated and heavy and so terribly scared. But then the bed dips, and warmth slides into place beside you. Limbs settle with a familiar weight, and suddenly, the darkness feels and smells like home.

"I love you," you tell the darkness, gasping when lips graze your cheek, your nose, and finally, your mouth. 

"I love you, too," the darkness tells you sweetly as you begin to drift to sleep.

Tonight, you did not get to kiss Namjoon until your lips bruised, but you feel satisfied with the fact that you were able to lighten the burden of heavy sadness just a little. And, in a matter of days, when you have the same conversation with Yoongi, it may not go the same way, but at least the three of you can continue to take steps in the right direction, and that allows you to sink into sleep with a smile on your face. 

When you wake up alone, your first instinct is to panic. You sit up with a start and check for any sign of Namjoon, but the ensuite door is wide open, and there is no sound coming from inside. The spot where he had slept is cold, and you begin to worry that it was all a dream and that he was never here at all. 

Frantically, you begin to search for your phone, which is not on your bedside table where you usually keep it, feeling the overwhelming urge to cry take over. What happened last night, and why is there no trace of him to be found?

With a deep breath, you close your eyes and run over the events of the night. You came in and changed, then you messaged Namjoon to let him know you were going down to let him in. Vaguely, you remember tossing your phone to the bed, and you begin yanking at your comforter, desperate to find it. 

Your phone must have been wrapped up in the bedding, because after only a moment of tussling and searching, you hear a nice loud thunk against the floor, at the foot of the bed. You let out an exasperated sigh and crawl to the edge, draping your body over the end as you reach and search for the device that has managed to find its way just under the bed frame. 

As soon as it is in your hand, you turn on the screen, eager to find evidence of Namjoon's existence, with your torso suspended in air. As soon as you see a notification from two hours ago, you smile and wiggle backward into a seated position to properly read it.

Namjoon: Hey, sweetheart, I'm so sorry I left while you were still asleep. I tried to wake you, but you were out cold. I'll be visiting Yoongi this afternoon. If you want to come along and you see this before 2 PM, let me know. Otherwise, I hope to talk to you soon. Thank you for letting me in this morning; I slept better than I have in weeks. I love you. 

Although affection blooms brightly in your chest, you feel sadness squeeze you tight, like an old friend. You do want to see Yoongi. You want to see him so badly, it hurts. But you are not sure you want to see him before he comes home. Wherever he is staying, and whatever state he may be in…you are not sure that you are prepared for that. 

It is only 1:45 PM, so you decide to call Namjoon. Not only are you eager to hear his voice once more, but you are not eager to voice what is in your heart over text. 

He picks up on the second ring, sounding a bit winded when he says, "Hey, sweetheart."

"Namjoon," you respond brightly, smiling widely. "Hey, I just woke up and saw your message."

"Ah," he responds, breathing heavily, "what time is it?" After a pause, he shouts, "Oh, shit, Gguk, I gotta go!" 

You laugh as you hear them chatter lowly, then say their goodbyes, imagining how adorable Namjoon becomes when he is frantic—eyes wide and worried while he flails his muscular limbs around somewhat aimlessly. 

"Gguek and I were working out," Namjoon says as you hear the sound of a door open and shut. "Lost track of time."

You smile, nibbling your lip. "Good thing I called."

"Good thing, indeed. So, did you—"

You don't mean to cut Namjoon off, but there is enough of a break between his statements, that you say, "Listen, Namjoon, I'm—" then halt, realizing you had spoken over him.

"Go on," Namjoon urges, and you close your eyes, listening to the sounds of his breathing, of birds singing around him, and of feet walking somewhat frantically down the dirt and gravel path between mansions. 

"I don't think I can go," you finally say, feeling meek and embarrassed as your voice drops and comes out with a tremble. "It's just…I don't know what to expect, and it…it scares me."

Namjoon says nothing for a few moments, and it makes you worry. But then you hear him keying in the passcode to his home and let yourself breathe. He is probably too stressed to be multitasking while in a rush. 

"Can I call you back? Or maybe we can talk about this later?" Namjoon finally asks, and you let out an even deeper sigh in relief. "I don't blame you at all for not wanting to come, but it feels like there is more you need to get off your chest. I have to take the fastest shower of my life, though, so that I can leave soon."

"Yeah, no…yeah. That's…" you stammer, squeezing your eyes closed and allowing yourself to smile while hot tears run from your eyes. Namjoon is so kind and understanding—so caring and giving. Affection burns for him, and you want to hug him so tight and never let him go. "If you want to tell Yoongi that we talked, I think it might make things easier for me later, but do whatever feels right…I don't know."

"I'll tell him what we discussed," Namjoon responds breathily as feet storm up a flight of stairs. "I know it'll make him happy to hear how you are doing, and how you have been handling things. I'm bringing him home in four days, so we can all sit down whenever you feel ready."

Four days is not soon enough, yet it feels like no time at all. Looming and terrifying, yet promising. 

"Okay, sounds good. Thank you, Namjoon."

When Namjoon says, "I love you so much, sweetheart. Thank you for calling," your heart squeezes, and more tears fall, cascading like tiny waterfalls. 

"I love you, Namjoon. Drive safe."

"Will do. Bye."

You mutter, "Bye," but your finger is already pressing the end call button, giving Namjoon all the time and space he needs to get ready. And then you hug your phone tight to your chest and continue to cry. 

Somehow, the happy tears feel thicker and hotter than sad tears—more present and urgent. If Yoongi comes back in four days, that means it has been just over two weeks in Jimin's home. You heavy-blink in an attempt to conceptualize the time, feeling ashamed by how little of it you remember. Briefly, you worry that you may have imposed, but Jimin has never so much as hinted at that fact, so you allow yourself to let the idea go.

It is difficult, at times, to accept the many ways in which you are loved. It feels strange to look back on how you ended up tangled in this web, with these men. Part of you wishes you and Yoongi could start over—meet organically and fall together not because of proximity and a need to cure a deep, aching loneliness that had built over years, but because you simply want to.

But could you simply want to fall in love with the head of a crime syndicate? No, you think. Probably not. 

Still, how do you explain that to someone who asks? I was kidnapped as collateral, but we fell in love feels like a story not too many people would understand. Probably, the average person would ask if you were alright and attempt to help you find refuge. Probably, they would be in their right mind to do so. 

The next three days drag. Knowing that you will see Yoongi and Namjoon again soon has you a little on edge, but not necessarily in a bad way. Your dancing suffers for it, and you find your movements too stiff, too off-beat; your head and your heart are clouded, and you cannot seem to get your body to do anything. Still, you try. Wasting away drinking at Paradise does not feel like the best way to spend your lonely nights, but you want to wait for Yoongi's return before spending too much time with Namjoon. 

Although the three of you have different bonds and dynamics, you almost feel guilty at the thought of hogging Namjoon to yourself while Yoongi is out healing in the countryside. Despite knowing he would tell you not to worry—to be with Namjoon and keep him company. 

And, part of you thinks of this time as getting your last moments in with Jimin before moving out of his space. You have not voiced it, but you have been going out of your way to spend just a little more time with him after work, before the two of you crash for the morning and sleep, curled up on the couch with whichever anime he feels like playing in the background—currently, Chainsaw Man. 

Jimin is phenomenal company, and you have really enjoyed following him around the house while he cooks, practices impromptu dance moves around furniture, and talks about nothing and everything. Even in quiet, still moments eating ice cream in the glow of the television, you feel the bond that has formed quickly and effortlessly, thankful to have a friend and ally on your side.

Despite the budding friendship, Jimin remains a somewhat secretive person. You have learned that his upbringing was privileged and full of wealth, but his parents were not kind about his desire to chase his own dreams instead of taking over the family business, and they quickly cut him off when he went to school for contemporary dance. It took no time at all for Jimin to wind up houseless, using his beauty to sleep with wealthy men and women for a meal and a warm bed. 

When Yoongi's mother found Jimin on the streets, she took him in with the promise of a better life, but how he came to replace her is unknown. How long Jimin spent on the streets, the kinds of things he saw in that time…all of those details, he hides behind a bright, practiced smile, only given away by the sadness that pours from his beautiful, round eyes. 

"I see myself in you, dove," Jimin says often, usually accompanied by a side hug or a kiss on the cheek. 

And at first, it made you feel strange. Jimin has come so far that maybe, you had originally thought, he sees you as a pet project; someone who needs to be fixed and turned into something beautiful. But now, you know that is not true. You know that Jimin sees persistence and survival; he sees someone imperfect but caring who just needs a little push to understand and figure things out, at times. 

Everything he has, he gained with persistence and survival; nothing was handed to him. Yoongi and his men, and possibly Yoongi's mother, taught Jimin the skills he knows today, that make him who he is. None of them became this successful alone; all seven of them play a crucial role. Eight, now, with you. 

You feel sentimental tonight when you lean against the bar cradling a glass of whiskey that you have been nursing for the last hour. Tomorrow, Yoongi returns home, and although it has not been voiced aloud, you can tell that the prospect has Jimin and Jeongguk in a better mood. You even spot Seokjin, Hoseok, and Taehyung coming in and out of Paradise, and they all seem chipper. 

Jimin is done up with pink and silver stage makeup, with his eyes and lips bright and shining. He wears his standard black satin top tucked into tight, leather black jeans, and tonight, he has a thick black rhinestone choker around his neck. 

Jeongguk, on the other hand, is pattern-clashing in a way that is both alluring and confusing. As standalone items, his silk, long-sleeve, plunging neckline leopard print shirt, and tight silver and blue floral lurex pants are solid choices. The shirt's neck falls nearly to his navel, showing beautiful topography of his chest���dips and hills of muscle and golden-tanned skin, accentuated by several mismatched gold necklaces; and the pants shine brightly in every light that dares grace his figure, drawing the eye to his muscular thighs and perky, round ass. But they look so strange and mismatched together, you cannot help but question what on earth he was thinking. 

"You sure have a staring problem, tonight," Jeongguk chides as he walks by, sending an inviting wink that makes you laugh far too boisterously.

"Just trying to figure out what you have going on, here," you respond with an incredulous smirk. "Did you get dressed in the dark, Gguk?"

With a roll of his eyes, Jeongguk responds, "Both items are Dolce and Gabbana, but okay."

And, without missing a beat, you say, "Pretty sure Dolce and Gabbana also produce plain clothes that would match better than this. Your black satin shirts would look really good with those pants, and…well, anything else would look good with that shirt."

"I don't expect you to understand fashion," Jeongguk teases, raking his eyes over your form as he takes a step closer. 

"Black, Jeongguk," you say, chin tilted high. "You have a closet full of black that would look phenomenal with both pieces."

With Jeongguk stepping into your personal space, that damned cologne hits you, and you begin to lose your composure. He really is suitable for smelling like a bouquet of wildflowers, especially with the spicy musk underneath; it is perfectly him. 

"I don't expect someone in boring Vuitton rags to appreciate the nuance," Jeongguk teases, voice dropping lower as he towers before you. 

"This dress costs as much as both that shirt and those pants combined," you bicker more quietly than before. The dress you wear tonight is certainly less flattering or flashy than what he wears—a Louis Vuitton brown and black knit mini dress with glitter thread mottling throughout. It has a square, rolled neckline and thin straps, but it hugs your curves nicely, falling mid-thigh. You raise your eyebrow to add, "Boss Min happens to like the way I look in Vuitton rags."

At the mention of Yoongi, Jeongguk softens, and you know you have won this round. Jeongguk scoffs, then slams back the rest of his drink, spinning on his shiny black leather boots before stomping off to where Hyejin and the dancers are congregated behind the main stage, going over something pertaining to the newly installed dance cages on either side of the bar, judging by how she points to them. 

You watch as Jeongguk walks away, allowing your gaze to linger on how those gaudy, silver-blue pants shimmer when they hug his ass, thanking your lucky stars that his silly fashion sense has, at the very least, provided you with a good show. 

When you turn back to the bar, you drink the rest of your whiskey and ask for another. The night is still young; the club has barely just opened and only a few patrons linger during the hours before the dancers take to the stages, but you have a feeling you are going to need to at least have a steady buzz to handle whatever bullshit Jeongguk is on. 

Two hours into your night, you are proven correct during a very flirty conversation with Hyejin about the dance cages—about how she thinks you should make your Paradise debut in one, asking if you would ever let her handcuff you to the bars—when the bartender informs you that the boss would like to see you in his office. 

Jimin seldom calls you to his office, but he is the only one who properly has one, so you head toward the back of the main room, past a security guard, and into a hallway that leads to Jimin's office, the dressing rooms for the dancers, and a meeting room that Hyejin and Jeongguk use when they need to. 

As you make your way to the door, you can hear the sounds of dancers chattering and laughing coming down the hall, and you assume that Jeongguk must be giving them their nightly pep talk in one of the dressing rooms. You knock twice on the office door, then try the handle. To your surprise, when you enter, the room is empty. 

Jimin has allowed you in his space alone plenty of times, so you make your way to have a seat in the leather armchair just in front of his desk. You decide to check your notifications while you wait and pull your phone from a small black purse that is slung over your shoulder.

The door opens and closes behind you, so you put the phone away before you have a chance to turn the screen on. And, instinctively, you stand to greet Jimin, surprised when you turn to find Jeongguk closing in, fast. 

Before you have a chance to speak, Jeongguk has the armchair shoved away, caging you against Jimin's desk, leaning close and low with both of his hands gripping the wooden surface. You practically sit against the edge, doing your best to lean back and away from Jeongguk, but he is a persistent, towering presence, and he wastes no time dragging his lips over your neck, just below your ear, sending a rush of arousal tingling through you at the touch. The scent of his cologne has your senses simultaneously dulled and on high alert.

"Jeongguk," you gasp, attempting to twist away but finding you do not want him to stop. "We can't—"

"I know," Jeongguk responds, voice deep and silky, lips dipping lower, dragging across your throat and leaving only the faintest hint of a spit trail. "Just want to tease you a little; make you squirm."

"Why?" you breathe, leaning back to create more space. 

When Jeongguk does not move, you lift your hands and press against his chest, attempting to push him back, but your palms slide on the silk shirt, and you wind up rubbing over his nipples, feeling metal under the drag of skin, causing Jeongguk to hiss as you gasp. Arousal builds and builds, and you squeeze your tights together, desperate to stave off the effect he has on you; you are, admittedly, touch-starved and somewhat feral. 

"I know you feel it, too," Jeongguk practically groans, still leaning way too close, voice spoken beside your ear. "We have undeniable chemistry."

"Of course I feel it," you respond, closing your eyes in an attempt to get your bearings while your heart pounds dizzyingly fast. 

Jeongguk asks, "Do you know how fucking hard it is to keep my hands off you?" in a tone that almost seems steeped in pain.

"Yes," you mutter softly, nodding shallowly. "I think I do."

With a sigh, Jeongguk finally takes a step back, but he stays close enough that you have to crane your neck; there is no room for you to stand away from the desk. The two of you stare at one another, and then Jeongguk scoffs and shakes his head. 

"Seeing you around so much has been…god, you drive me insane."

You chuckle, though you feel somewhat awkward being faced with his admission. Although, truth be told, being in Jeongguk's proximity so much during the last few weeks has also made you want to see him more and more; you know that, once you return to your normal life, you will come to miss him a lot. Or, perhaps, you can continue spending time at Paradise; there is nothing saying you cannot. 

"Last night, when I dropped you off," Jeongguk says, reaching up to gently cradle your chin in his hand, surprising you with his shift in demeanor, "were you crying?"

Although you glance away to respond, shyness rises, you nod slightly and say, "Yeah."

"Was it something I said?"

Quickly, you nod and return your gaze to Jeongguk, who looks genuinely concerned. "No. I was crying because I was missing Yoongi and Namjoon."

Jeongguk hums, drops his hand away, and takes a step back. 

Suddenly, the silence feels heavy, and you struggle to identify his reaction. He very clearly knows your involvement with both men, so why tense up at the mention of them?

"What's the matter?" you ask, unwilling to let anything weird hang between you. 

Jeongguk shrugs, but his eyes are on the floor, and it is clear that something is bothering him. 

"Jeongguk," you insist.

He sighs, and, without looking at you, says, "It just sucks that when things become normal again with you guys…I just…it's been nice to see you here."

"Ah," you respond. And you get it; it has been great to be around here and see him, Jimin, and Hyejin regularly. 

"But Yoongi will return and demand all your attention—" Jeongguk practically snarls, and you tut your tongue at him, staring incredulously as he balks at the interruption. 

"Yoongi does not demand anything from me," you say, standing up straight now that there is some space between the two of you. You feel defensive, but you can understand where Jeongguk is coming from; you really have not had any independence since moving into the mansion, but part of that is not having any direction or much desire to venture out, finding comfort and safety behind the familiarity of those walls. "Honestly, I have been loving it here. It's nice to leave the house for no occasion and see other people. I consider Hyejin and Jimin friends, and it has been so great having friends again. I don't want to suddenly stop seeing them. Or you."

"Won't you have your hands full with both of your boyfriends?" Jeongguk teases, and you are glad to see his mood has at least somewhat lightened; his smile has returned, even if his gaze remains sad. 

"Oh they definitely know how to keep my hands full," you respond with a wink, watching as Jeongguk's eyes and mouth widen comically. "But it is also nice having some space. Although I hate how all of this came about, I think taking a step back and allowing myself to really miss them and think about the many facets of our relationship has been important. I needed it."

"So I might actually see you from time to time?" Jeongguk asks, stepping close once more, seeming hopeful. It still amuses you when Jeongguk is all soft edges after so much time spent bickering with one another. 

This time, you step in close and rub your palms over his chest, making sure to drag your hands over his pierced nipples, smiling when he shivers beneath your touch. 

"We still have to finish what we started in Hong Kong," you say, voice dropped low and intentionally sultry. "I just haven't wanted to do anything without the others present…we haven't really discussed that, and I would feel too guilty leaving them out."

"I understand," Jeongguk responds, leaning into your touch and surprising you with a very soft, very chaste kiss on the lips before he mutters, "Taehyung will fucking kill me if we do anything without him."

Warmth floods your cheeks, and you drop your hands while taking a step back. Even after such a tiny taste, the urge to kiss Jeongguk is too great to stay in such close proximity. 

"We're going to have an entire audience, huh?" you ask, feeling more turned on by the prospect than shy.

Jeongguk chuckles and says, "Sounds like we will."

It almost feels surreal to discuss the topic of you and Jeongguk having sex so openly. Although you have had enough whiskey to give you a steady buzz, you are still clear-headed enough to spiral just a little over the thought of his body, and having it all to yourself. That is, unless the others want to play, as well; you really have no idea what to expect, and you are not certain you would deny them if they wanted to.

As you search for a way to end this conversation and return to the main bar before someone begins to notice the two of you are missing, Jimin comes barging in with his brows knit. Although you have done nothing wrong, there is a split moment of panic over how this may look, with the two of you in Jimin's office alone. 

But he simply glances between you and Jeongguk, huffs out a sigh, and says, "Oh, thank god. I was hoping to find you two in here."

"What's up?" Jeongguk asks, and you straighten out, worried that something may be wrong. 

"One of the regulars came in piss drunk and started harassing Hyejin. He groped her ass and when she slapped him, he got in her face. Security was able to intervene, but I need you to take him out back and fuck him up. Let him know shit like that doesn't fly at Boss Min's lovely establishment." 

Anger spikes heavily in your chest, and when Jimin turns to you and adds, "Dove, if you don't mind, I think she could use a friend," you nod, determined to do whatever it takes to make Hyejin feel safe. 

"On it," you say, walking past the men, down the short hallway, and out into the bar. 

Loud R&B music with a quick, enticing trap beat plays, and you stomp in your overpriced patent leather chelsea boots to the beat, storming into the main bar room like you own the joint and scanning the room for your girl. 

Standing at the main bar with her arms pulled tightly over her chest, is Hyejin surrounded by dancers. As soon as you approach, a girl who goes by Lily backs up and opens her arm wide to welcome you into the space. Hyejin is shaking when you drape your arm around her, hugging it loosely across her chest.

"Hey, beautiful," you say, and she turns and melts into you, throwing her arms over your shoulders and letting out a deep sigh. "Want to go out back and have a smoke?"

Hyejin hugs you tight and shakes her head, and you rub your hands over her back, waiting for her response. The dancers begin trickling out, having to get ready to perform, leaving pats on your and Hyejin's backs and soft words of support and encouragement. Once there is more space for her to breathe, Hyejin stands up straight and lets out another deep breath.

She is not crying, though her eyes are red, and when she looks at you with a frown, you gently place your hands at her temples and thumb at the smudged mascara under her eyes before muttering, "Perfect," with a grin. 

"I hate men," Hyejin says with a fake snarl, and you roll your eyes and nod dramatically, making her giggle. 

"Wanna talk about it?" you ask, and Hyejin shakes her head and says, "No. I want to dance."

Sitting on the bar is a half-empty pint of something bright blue, and Hyejin chugs it back, then leaves the empty glass behind and takes your hand, dragging you to one of the dance cages. The floor of the cage is raised about three feet from the ground and is a glowing octagon of rainbow color. Hyejin, wearing only a black satin bodysuit with lace trim and black stiletto heels, walks around to the back of the cage, closest to the nearby wall, and opens a door that blends in with the bars, then she takes a step up and hoists herself onto the platform. 

You follow behind and step up and into the cage, moving to the other side of the space to allow Hyejin to close the door. Although you are no stranger to dancing in sight of others, being in an elevated cage has your nerves spiked, and you wish you had taken a shot or three at the bar before agreeing to follow her. 

Hyejin wastes no time closing in on you with her fists around bars on either side of your head, and she holds on as she drops her hips low and swishes back up, all the while keeping her eyes on you. You sway to the beat with slower movements than the ones you watch Hyejin make, feeling entranced by her beauty and struggling to actually move the way she does. 

"Are you shy?" she asks with a raise of her eyebrow, and you chuckle, letting go of some of your anxiety while you nod and mutter, "A little."

Hyejin spins with her arms still lifted, and wraps them over your shoulders, then dips down again, rubbing her ass against your thighs before standing up straight. You realize too late that you are frozen in place with your arms somewhat bent, like a Barbie doll, and Hyejin turns and immediately starts to laugh, bending and flinging her hair in front of her face. 

"I'm not apologizing for who I am," you whine as you join her in laughing, feeling embarrassed by your inability to act like a normal person around her. 

"I would never dream of asking you to," Hyejin says as she leans back against the bars across from you, swaying her hips with an amused grin. "But it is very cute how flustered you get."

You roll your eyes and smile, glad to at least be considered cute. Flirting and being flirted with is hardly an issue, and you would probably relax more around her if things were not so uncertain at the moment, in your love life. You are sure Yoongi and Namjoon would not mind, but it is a conversation you would like to have before you allow yourself to get carried away. 

Or, perhaps, there is nothing to allow. Probably, there is no way in which things could get carried away, but you are once again spiraling because Jeongguk has gotten under your skin. With a deep inhale, you remind yourself that Hyejin is likely just being friendly and that you are allowed to relax and have fun with her. 

So have fun, you do. The song changes to something with more of a club beat, and Hyejin begins to pump her hands in front of her chest while shaking her ass in overexaggerated movements, gyrating in a chaotic circle. With your hands pulled over your head, you begin doing some wiggle-shake move creating waves all the way down to your legs, laughing as Hyejin throws her hands over her head in an attempt to do the same. 

"What do you call this one?" She shouts over the music, and you shake your head and say, "I don't know! The overcooked noodle?" 

Hyejin practically throws her body against yours with laughter, and you trip backward, catching yourself with a hand on one of the bars to lessen your collision. There are definitely patrons behind you who have a view of whatever it is the two of you are doing, and you try not to feel too embarrassed. 

"Yah," Jeongguk calls, making you attempt to turn around, trapped in place by a hysterical Hyejin. He rounds the platform enough to come into view and grabs onto two of the bars as he teasingly says, "You girls are gonna scare away the customers."

You raise one hand toward him as if threatening to strike him, shouting, "Oh, shut u—" but the word dies as soon as your eyes fall to Jeongguk's knuckles, which are scraped and bloodied. 

"Jeongguk, what the fuck?" you ask, reaching for the nearest hand, which he slides away. 

Hyejin stands alert, then squats to be at eye-level with Jeongguk, and you fully turn, checking to make sure he has no other cuts or bruises, glad that he seems otherwise perfectly fine. 

"Relax," Jeongguk grumbles, tonguing the inside of his mouth while he cracks the knuckles of one fist against his palm, then switches to the other side. "This is nothing; scuff marks. That guy didn't land a single punch before he was lights out."

You sigh but accept that there is nothing you would be able to do to convince Jeongguk not to fuck someone up. It is, after all, something he has likely been trained to do and is celebrated for within the ranks of the family. Still, you hate to see his pretty hands bloodied. 

"Well, you know I don't condone violence," Hyejin says, reaching her hands between two bars, smiling when Jeongguk steps closer and allows her to grab onto his wrists. "But I really appreciate you sticking up for me."

"Of course," Jeongguk grumbles, smiling the soft smile that he does when he is attempting to hide the sweetness that festers inside him, threatening to burst. Cute. 

With a sigh, Hyejin lifts the wrist that Jeongguk wears his watch on, yanking it close while tilting her head to get a look. "I should go tend to the girls," she grumbles, releasing Jeongguk and standing to give you a kiss on the cheek.

You follow Hyejin's movements, watching which bars are part of the door, nervous that they blend in well enough and that you could be trapped in this cage for the rest of eternity, then you turn back to Jeongguk, who has two hands on two bars, and is staring up at you. 

"So," he says, stretching himself tall to speak to you, arching his back and tipping his chin upward. "I was wondering…"

Since you are already in the cage, and Jeongguk had already been a menace to your health and well-being earlier, you decide to take a page out of Hyejin's book and swish your body in an inviting wave as you squat, dragging your hands down the bars but keeping them lifted above your head. 

Jeongguk visibly swallows, losing what he was just in the process of saying, and you watch as his eyes trail to where your short skirt hugs your thighs, undoubtedly giving him a view of the black panties you wear underneath. And although you do not mind letting Jeongguk sneak a peek, you are glad that the lights are fairly dim in the club.

"What was that?" you ask, tilting your head to the side and giving a look that feigns innocence. 

The expression on Jeongguk's face flashes comically from needy to pained to frustrated, and he huffs out a sigh, shaking his head as if trying to rattle his thoughts free.

 "What I was going to say before you so rudely interrupted me, is that we should have dinner soon."

Jeongguk's offer takes a moment to compute, and you stare at him, heavy-blinking, trying to determine whether he is asking you on a date, or if we means more than just the two of you. 

"We, as in…"

"You, me, and our men."

"Ah," you respond; that makes sense. "Yeah, we should. That would be fun."

Jeongguk nods, letting his gaze fall once more to your legs before drifting slowly back to your face. "I'll talk to Taehyungah. Perhaps he can host, and I'll cook."

With an incredulous raise of your brow you ask, "Oh, you cook?" in a mocking tone of sheer disbelief. 

Jeongguk reaches up and holds his hands over yours, gripping firmly while he leans in, head between the bars and close. From here, you smell his cologne; from here you resist the urge to lean in close and kiss him. 

"I happen to be an excellent cook, dollface."

"Is that so?" you ask, voice much less confident than a moment ago.

"That is so," Jeongguk says, then he leans in somehow even closer, making your head spin. "So, it's a date?"

"Yeah," you respond, feeling your heart go wild behind your ribs. "It's a date."

What you did to me made me see the world differently Mis lágrimas se secan solos, solos Pues mírame a los ojos Dime si ves el vacío que deja amor perdido Yo no duermo hasta que mis sueño' están cumplidos Sé que estoy perdiendo, pero el juеgo no ha concluido

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ahhhh!!! how are we feeling??? i presonally really love this chapter. the next one containing the promised smut™ is coming very, very soon!!!! i promise. i was sad to leave Yoongi out of this chapter, and it was not my intention to have a full chapter without him, but it made sense to split the mega chapter this way, and it felt wrong to rush him back without mc taking time to sort her thoughts out and attempt to gain some independence.

thank you for reading!!! 💜💜💜 reblogs and comments make the world go 'round, and likes are nice too!!!

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Collateral is copyright 2022-2023 theharrowing, all rights reserved.

[moon-child-cypher]

Chapter 1 : ON

 BTS OT7 , OT7xYN , NamjoonxYN, SeokjinxYN, YoongixYN, HoseokxYN, TaehyungxYN, JiminxYN, JungkookxYN

TW: Mental illness, psychosis, depression, body dysmorphia, past bullying, casual sex, loss of relationship, violence, talk of weapons, blood

   As the leader of Bangtan , Namjoon felt the weight of his responsibilities to bangtan and he had felt it worse since you left. In a way, he was happy he had to focus on the others' well being . Somedays when his responsibilities felt heavier than others, he could lose himself in Bangtan and, for a moment, it would feel like things were how they were before everything fell apart. One thing he couldnt deny was that heartbreak had been an amazing motivator. Throwing themselves into their work Bangtan had gone from a small group of friends who knew how to get things done, to a feared syndicate with complex connections and a massive income.  Namjoon could sometimes convince himself that it hadnt been for you, it hadnt been so if he ever saw you again you would be so impressed that you couldnt say no to him. Couldnt say no to his brothers.

 Nothing prepared him for the day you showed up in their lives again. The usually composed Namjoon was a mess with you in the same room. He had walked into the boardroom for a financial meeting, one that would help secure their place as the underground kings of Seoul, and found you right away. You were sitting amongst the attendees, as though you being there was of no major circumstance. Sitting attentively as though you could just show up and be another name in a long list of faces . Feeling his stare you , nervously met his eyes, and he felt like his heart stopped beating. It was you, really you. Yes, in five years something about you had changed , but in that moment he would have done anything for you and you knew it. He had almost forgotten the rest of Bangtans appearance until he heard them shuffling in behind him and he began to panic. He swore he fell in love with you more when your eyes softened in understanding at his sudden panic. Of course he still seemed cool and collected on the surface, but you knew better.

Yoongi had spent his life hiding his feelings, except for with you. Always cool and collected, thats what got him this far in life and Bangtan. When others were motivated by emotion, and ethics, Yoongi was cold facts and logic. You had seen through thst though. You always told him that when you looked in his eyes , you saw a deep pool of emotions that you wanted to drown in. He had showed you affection to the best of his abilities and you had seen them for what they were and on a rare occasion held him while he wept. Not wanting to talk about it, not wanting an explanation, just offering absolute understanding. He went numb after you left, it wasnt safe to feel those emotions, the world would burn and he had been having enough trouble keeping Hoseok under control. He never gave up hope that you would return , though. Worked relentlessly to build an empire with Bangtan hoping that one day when youd come back you would join them again. Everything he did was for you and Bangtan knew that, they didnt stop him because they felt the same. He wondered sometimes, if their loss of you, was the only thing they had in common anymore. Not that it mattered, since it had been working well for  them.    Today he was grumpy. He had been up all night going over blueprint after blueprint and was still expected to attend the meeting. Pretty useless, as all the paperwork would end up on him and Namjoons desk to go over , this meeting could have definitely been an email. He kept his eyes trained on the back on Namjoons head and followed him into the room where he would be bored to death for whatever duration it took, but Namjoon seemed eager to leave as well and he took that as a good sign. Hoseoks sudden tense on walking the room sent Yoongi immediately on alert. He has a moment to wonder to himself if Hoseok or their business  partners would be a bigger threat before he locked eyes with you , and before he could fully register that it was you he felt like he was drowning.

 Hoseok had in his own way taken your absence the hardest. Growing up his life had been spent in one mental hospital or another. His craving for violence , his paranoia were enough for his parents to abandon him as a ward of the state at 15, in the end he had aged out of these homes and met Namjoon, who saw a use in his unique set of skills and outlook on the world. Beginning only as Namjoons body guard , he now was in control of a small army with a special gift for violence who knew how to get things done and Hoseok had found happiness, but he found contentment when you walked into their lives. It was almost as though your presence had made all the voices go silent.  As if all the voices were in absolute awe of your presence and didnt dare speak unless spoken too. You were the first one to make him feel human in his whole life. You had said that he had an adaptation to his reality, not a malfunction , and that he was still worthy of love and respect like any human. Up until you the only respect he had experienced was at the cost of his bloodlust. His fellow Bangtan members loved him, of course, but they still saw him for what the rest of the world saw and always had a trace of fear behind their eyes. Not you though.

  When you had left he had seen to it that the world would burn. Every person who betrayed Bangtan, every time someone crossed his path, was paying for your absence. Part of him was punishing the world because he couldnt punish you, not that he would any ways. He was unstoppable because what could hurt more than you abandoning him, right? Nothing scarier than a man who isnt afraid of dying and more often than not Hoseok had hoped he would make one wrong move, that someone would finally stop his reign of terror, because the voices would stop . They talked about you a lot, they also talked about his Bangtan family. The voices told him that they could see right through him, and it made sense because they never made a move to stop him. He did sometimes wonder what you would think of him now. He knew youd be scared of him , of who he had become, but he would silently remind himself that he did it for YOU.

  The voices had been particularly annoying today. He was itching to get on the field, do what he did best, but instead he had to attend a board meeting with Namjoon as his protection and a founding member of Bangtan. He just had to make it through this meeting and he would be left to his own devices, he expected a particularly trigger happy evening for him and his army. He walked behind Namjoon taking in every detail, every possible security threat. There was a heavier defense sytem in this building , he noted, if things went wrong Hoseok would have the chance to take out his frustrations in order for them to  escape. Namjoon stopped just inside the doorway and froze, sending Hoseok into attack moden for a moment. Was Namjoon hit? Was there danger in the room? After taking a quick glance at Namjoon seing no obvious injuries, he scanned the room. That's when he locked eyes with someone and the voices stopped.

 To anyone who knew anything about Bangtan, Jin was the glue that held them together. In a group of unloved boys who came together to build this life together, Jin offered a quiet understanding and a warm  home.  You had said that he served as such a master manipulator for Bangtan because he had an unbiased, deep understanding of people,even strangers. You can't use peoples thoughts and emotions against them unless you truly understand what motivates them, you had said. He believed you because that is what you had always offered him just that. From your small nods and warm smile after a tough mission, or taking the role as caretaker of Bangtan when he felt his exhaustion deep in his bones. He hadnt connected with anyone on any level since you left. Why bother? He was a master of being ingenuine, even attempting to open up to someone he wouldnt know what to believe what he was really feeling. But you, you understood with just a look and that's what he needed. Surprisingly his lack of his own emotion helped him even further understand others emotions. He was a blank slate and he was a projection of those around him.

That was why it was important he attended this meeting. Namjoon needed to know if they had any ulterior motives, if they were trying to trick them into losing money. What Namjoon and the others had never said is this one just one more step to giving you the life you deserved when you returned. He felt the shift as soon as they entered the room and automatically began to assess the situation and then he was looking at you as he was hit with guilt, surprise, hurt and most of all, love.

Taehyung had been dfferent his whole life. From the time he was old enough to play with the kids at the park they bullied him, knowing he wasnt quite like them so he must be weak, right? Wrong. He grew up to be devilishly handsome and with that his odd tendencies were labelled cute quirks. His past still shaped him , though. Seeing the cruelty of people, even at such a young age he recognized it was human nature. Taehyung felt emotions deeply, maybe too deeply, but it served him well as the secret keeper of Bangtan. See , anyone and everyone loves to talk, especially about themselves. All he had to do was flash a smile and lend an ear and a few careful questions and people were ready to tell him everything. It all went straight to Namjoon of course , and he mosty stuck to the shadows, only making public appearances with Bangtan when necessary. His charm never worked on you. You had told him he was beautiful , and that there was something about him that made it easy to open up to him. But you were naturally a genuine person, especially with him. 

When others blew off his personality, the way he dressed, and his words, you looked at him like he was a piece of art. You once told him a day with him did more for the heart and mind than any art ever could. He had scoffed at that , because, how could any piece of art, any piece of music, any natural wonder measure up to you? Their love had been like something out of an old movie. Slow dancing to old jazz records in his room, reading to eachother poems that only conveyed a fraction of the love that they had felt for eachother. 

When you had left, Taehyung had disappeared back into his shell. There's only so many side eyes and remarks one can make before it wears away at oneself. He still found himself saving songs from old vinyls and poems ripped from books for you to enjoy when you came back. Outwardly, to anyone who didnt know better, Taehyung had become cold. While in the past he used warmth, and flirting to get people to talk, he now opted for intimidation and cruelty. He had become the bully and you would have hated that for him. 

He hadnt wanted to go to this meeting, even before he saw Bangtan eye his green suit up and down. He didnt need them to be picking him apart, that was his job, and his patience was low today. Walking along with his brothers he kept himself amused by humming a jazz song he had discovered on a vinyl he had found in the back of some vintage store or another. It was soft and bright, like you, but inside he felt deep and sorrowful . The sudden stop off Hoseok had him bumping into him and jumping back. He could feel Hoseok itching for combat and it was putting Taehyung at unease , he didnt want to be the target of Hoseoks rage today. Taehyng quickly looked around to see what would cause Hoseok to be so careless, who was going to be the subject of his wrath and then he saw you. Like the greatest treasure at any museum, like the grandest orchestra , there you were.

 If lust had a physical embodiment, it would be Jimin. He  just oozes sex to men and women alike , and knew how to use it to get what he wanted. Jimin always had a taste for the finer things in life, always wanting more. When he had met Namjoon he had already been living a gluttoous lifestyle, but Namjoon made him realize he had a talent that could be utilized for something bigger, greater. Whole empires have been brought down because of sex, and Jimin wanted to build an empire on it. While he had grown soft and affectionate towards his members over the years, others would describe his gaze as hawk-like, like a predator zooming in on ikts prey. YN had never seen that, she saw right through him. To late nights hiding under the covers, memorizing every curve and imperfection of eachothers bodies you were the first actually intimacy he had ever experience. He thought arousal had equated intimacy until you, how a single peck on the forehead could leave him powerless to you.

When you left Jimin had tried to convince himself that his long list of high profile one night stands were for work, but he eventually had to face the music and realize it was intimacy he was craving. Taehyung, as odd as he was, seemed to understand this, and would quietly hold his hand or grab his thigh affectionately under the table when he could. This didnt help, he appreciated it, but it just made him feel like he was more alone. A steady sex life had proven to be very lucrative to Bangtan, but he felt so alone.

Jimin had left a lover in his bed that morning to join the boys at a meeting. Jimin felt the need to complain, to hide his relief that he wouldnt have to see the stranger off, someone else could take care of that. As they walked in the building, immediately a group of secretaries were whispering behind their hands about him and he flashe them his most seductive style. Just like that he had them, he would have to remember their faces for when they were done with the meeting. He couldnt resist himself and flashed a smile at an especially flustered man in a three piece suit. Jimin had him right where he wanted him and it wasn too easy. Jimin strutted into the room thinking about all the possibilities with these coworkers but his steps failed him and his cockiness left him as he saw you. Then, with one quick moment of eyecontact, he knew you couldnt leave because you were all he ever needed.

Jungkook hated his smile, his bunny teeth making him look even younger than he already was, and as the youngest he didnt need to be reminded of that. You had loved his smile , which worked out well because you were the major source of it. Jungkook knew his weapons, he had turned his body into his biggest weapon with an unhealthy excercise routine but the most deadly weapon in his world was your laugh. Jungkook  never had a great body image, you later suggested body dysmorphia, and you were the only one he believed ever liked his body. He couldnt look in the mirror and see what everyone else saw. That's why when you left he became obsessed with perfecting himself as a weapon. The burn and exhaustion gives him something to focus on instead of your laughter. At first the memory of your laugh was the only comfort he found, then in his mind it became mocking, telling him he was worthless. That was bad but not as bad as when he forgot what it sounded like all together. You never treated him as the baby of the group but as an equal and he almost believed it. You two were a sanctuary from the reality of thet lifestyle, laughing until your stomachs hurt and sharing memories of his hyungs and sharing the secret knowledge that all of them were secretly the  most amazing generous people you  knew. But now he was just the baby again, talked down on,not respected , no matter how much he worked out and built his strength.

This morning he had a moment in front of the mirror and thought of what you would think of him now, what would you think of the empty shells Bangtan had become? None of it mattered without you here, and why do they keep pretending that it did? Jungkook was the last one to enter the room. This was related to a shipment of weapons and that was his line for bangtan, but one of his hyungs could have taken care of it , he felt particularly ugly today but straightened his back, and walked in. Immediately he noticed his hyungs freeze and was alarmed by such an intense set of emotions that these usually well composed men were feeling and so he followed their gaze and there you were. He felt himself deflate, and relaxed his stance when your eyes met and couldnt help but smile the first genuine, full bunny teeth smile that he had in years.

 You knew logically that they were going to be there, of course they had to be there, but nothing had prepared you for this. They had betrayed you, you shouldnt have any more emotional connection to them, you owed them nothing, but then why was this so hard? You had left Bangtan and started a new profession in a new place the honest way, but years of living with bangtan you could no longer afford your lifestyle on an honest job salary so that's how you ended up in weapons deals. You purposely didnt keep track of the boys, as they hurt too much to think about. Youre only clue of just how big and successful they had gotten recently when you had been informed about your purpose foe this meeting . Your boss had taken your hesitance as concern about getting involved with Bagtan and reassured you that your name would not be connected to them on paper but he had no idea how connected you already were to them. They would know now from the way the seven boys honed on you and were now staring at you. You had tried to blend in the crowd of seats but that had been unsuccessful. The worst part of it all is as soon as she saw them she felt the pain of being in love with these men all over again.