#yoongi smua

[muniimyg]

22 | maybe

series m.list

note: hi 🥹 it’s been a while :o how are you guys? sorry this update took so long 🤡 i was on vacation and jus got home yesterday... trying to catch up with my personal life and resetting my room in time for school has been tiring! but ,, i’m back and will be updating again soon <3 here is the promised fluff and “angst” if you’re a CRYBABY 🫵 thank u for being so patient and wishing me a nice break ✨ i can’t wait for more of this story to unfold because as you know… we are near the end 🫣💓 ps: this ch is unedited 😤 i jus wanted to post it nd get it OUT so we can carry on gawd daYuMmm..

taglist request: send a request with the title of this fic “your universe” // please DO NOT comment here or on the masterlist . it gets confusing and i prefer answering and tagging through asks !!!

taglist: @yukiehyukie @tarahardcore @bbsantc @jeonqkooks-main @whoa-jo @ellesalazar @exhibitachol @pamzn @floweryjeons @boraength @4ksj @joonsjuice @taegijns @avtrns @taegix94 @bloopkook @jihopesjoint @firesighgirl @vantxx95 @damn-u-min-yoongi @yoongukie-ff @hopeworldjimin @thisisaburnphone @pb-n-juju @xjiminsthighsx @miss-rainy-days @percyjacksonlovesannabethchase​ @whitefoxgirl​ @slutforheeseung​

No one ever talks about how difficult it is to unlearn feelings of rejection. 

To begin with, the entire concept is so ridiculous! it practically comes off as insincere, stupid, and careless. Yet, it’s so rare to experience. Usually, rejection is rejection. No means no. So how could it be shocking for you to be struggling right now? From being someone who was so familiar with rejection to now struggling to accept the love you deserve; it’s hard.

But Yoongi makes it easy. 

Ever since the talk between you two, he has shown over and over again that he heard you, he respects you, and most importantly he understands you. Every day, every handhold and tight hug was a step closer to loving again. Obviously easier said than done, you’re thankful that the time between you two makes things better. 

Time with him. 

With Yoongi, time seems to heal.

While you’re grateful for the effort and complete change in atmosphere between you and Yoongi, you know deep down that his actions would have meant nothing if he wasn’t constantly in motion investing his time with you. Texting you, calling when he can, showing up early, and leaving late… They all play such a huge part in convincing you that he cares. He’s here now and he’ll want you for as long as you’ll have him. 

To have him the way you do now… Well, it simply doesn’t feel real.

Every minute spent with him, every smile he dedicates to you, and every laugh shared in between—it creates a stronger bond between you two. As of now, time spent with Yoongi has evolved to be routine and you wouldn’t have it any other way. 

Tuesday is your busiest and earliest day. 

It begins with an early 7:30AM class and a schedule packed with the class until 5:30PM, then you attend practicum and club meetings that run as late as 9:45PM. Apart from that, it’s also your laundry day and usually the time your favourite shows release new episodes.

It’s always just been like this. 

Yoongi, for some reason, has recently taken it upon himself to be a part of your busy Tuesdays. He knows how easily grumpy you become when you feel overwhelmed. You aren’t too sure exactly why, when, or how he began to show up outside of your 7:30AM lecture building with a cup of freshly brewed coffee; he just did. 

How could you complain? 

Even if his place is right in front of your lecture, waking up to meet with you for a few minutes is such an inconvenience and a waste of good sleep. The fact that he makes an effort to get up, brew you coffee, and sleepily meet with you… It makes your heart glow. 

It’s safe to say that the coffee he brings you does more than wake you up. It wakes your feelings up and serves as a constant reminder of his care. Sleepily, he would hold the cup of coffee above your head and pucker up his lips. Cheekily and sleepily, Yoongi is always ready to tease you. 

It’s funny because his eyes would be closed half of the time. Regardless, you would lean in and let his soft lips kiss your puffy morning cheeks. After he gives you a kiss and your coffee, he’ll hold the door open for you to head in. Waving him goodbye, Yoongi continues with his day and looks forward to catching up with you later. 

However, this Tuesday is different. 

Tuesday Morning Lecture: Class Cancellation. 

Good morning students! This email was meant to be sent last night but unfortunately was scheduled inaccurately. My apologies!

Notes will be provided for the module and extra time will be set aside next week for review and questions. 

Best regards!

You squeal. 

Your classes never get canceled! You also slept later than usual last night so this is truly a blessing. Pulling your covers above your head, you drift back to sleep and completely forget to text Yoongi about the change of plans.

As you continue sleeping, Yoongi drags himself out of bed. 

He gets himself ready and brews your coffee. Then, he heads out the door and stands outside in the cold spring air waiting for you. He waits.

And waits.

And waits even more. 

Yoongi waits until you’re officially late.

Yoongi waits until you don’t show up. 

A few days ago, you two talked about your feelings regarding his efforts. Everything since that talk has been going great! You two were communicating better and are even a little closer than before. Therefore, it confuses Yoongi as to why you aren’t here right now with no notice. He goes back home and sets your coffee on his kitchen counter. Taking out his phone, he doesn’t even bother to text you. 

He calls you right away.

Half awake, you pick up. 

“H-hello?”

Yoongi feels relieved you answered but can’t help but feel protective and entitled to your whereabouts. “Are you sick?”

“... W-what?”

“Are you mad at me?” Yoongi paces back and forth, feeling a little nervous. He runs back to his last few encounters with you and struggles to pinpoint where he could have fucked up. 

“Huh?”

“Are you avoiding me?”

Once you register it’s Yoongi’s voice and the worrisome tone attached to his words, you force yourself to sit up from your bed. Checking the time, you gasp as you connect the dots. 

“Oh my god! I’m so sorry, aki… I fell asleep after I read my class cancelation notice and forgot to text you.”

Yoongi sighs.

“Okay.”

You groan. “Aki…”

“Mhmm?”

“I’m really sorry… I should’ve remembered. I was just so tired and it slipped my mind.” Feeling guilty, you can’t help but feel upset with yourself. Yoongi didn’t deserve this!

“Okay.”

“Don’t be mad,” you beg him. “Please..”

“I’m not mad. Who said I’m mad?” Yoongi huffs. His words are sharp and his tone feels so superficial. It’s like he’s just saying things for the sake of saying them and not because it’s what he truly feels.

In all honesty, he’s not mad.

Why should he be? He feels a little disappointed but that’s it. It’s just an innocent misunderstanding and it would be unfair to you if he blamed it all on you. It’s not that deep…

You sigh, taking his word for it. “I have the morning off.. Do you want to study?”

He bites his tongue. 

He doesn’t want to study. He wants to spend time with you for no reason even if you practically just stood him up. 

“I don’t want to study.” 

“That’s fair. Oh, wait! Never mind, don’t you have class in an hour or so? Just rest up until then. I’ll call you again when I’m more awake… Sorry, aki.”

Yoongi nods out of habit. 

He can’t help but feel a little disappointed. Seeing you all sleepy and cold, needy for his coffee and hugs… Well, it was something he looked forward to every morning. Despite all these arising feelings, he manages to mumble, “you better,” as a response. You laugh sweetly and thank him. 

“Have a good day, aki.” You sing sweetly.

“Ace?”

“Mhmm?”

Yoongi feels a lump in his throat form. He swallows it away and shyly reaches for reassurance. 

“Call me later?”

“I will, silly. Goodnight,” you promise. “Sorry again.”

“It’s okay,” he tells you. “... And good morning, ace. I miss you.”

“Good morning, aki,” you yawn before ending the call. “I miss you too.”

Yoongi bumps into you on his way out of his 2PM lecture. 

You’re laughing alongside some of the swimmers that tried to bid on you. He glares at the sight of them crowding over you and the way that Jungkook is standing on the sideline, shoving his face with a bag of cotton candy.

He approaches Jungkook first. 

“What the fuck is that?” Yoongi growls. 

With a mouth full of blue cotton candy, Jungkook smiles. “Swimmers gave me cotton candy for bringing ___ to our practice today.”

Yoongi hisses at Jungkook. “Thanks for trading our friendship for cotton candy.”

It’s not like he saw this coming. Jungkook is an easy guy to win over. Loyalty isn’t his strongest forum…

Jungkook rolls his eyes.

“As if she’d ever get over you. You can’t possibly be this insecure! Actually, I take that back. Let me see your abs right now so I can accurately measure how insecure you should be—”

Then, Jungkook reaches for the hem of Yoongi’s crewneck and tries to lift it up. Yoongi shoves the blue sugar-stained hands away and glares at Jungkook angrier than ever. Yoongi’s darting eyes make Jungkook feel uneasy. 

It totally ruins his happy vibe. 

“Geez… What crawled up your ass today?” Jungkook asks, disliking Yoongi’s attitude.

Yoongi has always been grumpy and shy but he has never been so moody and lost. It’s like he’s a puppy that just got kicked.. Jungkook feels bad for him.

Yoongi’s eyebrows knit together in confusion and ignores his friend’s question. He watches you nod politely at the swimmers. You look so pretty today. He should’ve seen you first—not them. 

“She has class until 5:30PM on Tuesdays.. What’s she doing here with you?”

“A few of the education department profs have a conference a few cities away. Her entire Tuesday and Wednesday classes are empty this week! Except for her 7:30AM one today but apparently that got canceled. Didn’t she tell you?” Jungkook asks Yoongi rather dumbfounded. “Stop looking at me like you want to kill me.. I’m not the one that’s flirting with your girlfriend—”

“I’ll kill you, you little brat—”

“Yoongi!” 

Your voice calling his name makes him gulp. He turns and sees you breaking through the crowd of swimmers and practically running to him. You giggle as you crash into him and greet him with a hug. 

He wraps his arms around you and hugs you tight. Yoongi wishes for this moment to last forever.

When you pull away, you smile at him brightly. “I was about to surprise and meet you at  your lecture but I bumped into Jungkook and he asked me to watch his practice—”

“Your classes are canceled until Wednesday?”

“Oh? Yeah. I mentioned it a few days ago,” you tell him. “... I think?”

“You think?”

“I let Jungkook know!” you defend, knowing he’ll be a little upset. Honestly, these past few days have been so hectic… It’s not surprising that this slipped your mind too. 

Yoongi pouts. “But you didn’t let me know.”

Your heart aches. You feel so bad.

“I’m sorry,” you hold his hand and squeeze them. “I should have left his practice earlier to catch up with you. I promised a friend a late lunch today so I’m going to meet up with her now.. I was just on my way. I’ll call you later though.”

“Promise?” 

“Promise.”

With that, Yoongi feels empty when you let go of his hand and wave goodbye. You walk in the opposite direction and soon enough, he’s left alone with Jungkook.

“___ looks pretty today,” Jungkook comments.

“I know,” Yoongi groans. He turns to see the other swimmers watching you walk away as well. He instantly feels annoyed. “I fucking hate this.”

Later that night, you forget to call. 

The day just went by so fast and by the time you get home, you knock out. It’s a little funny since you spent the morning sleeping in and now you’re asleep before 9PM. 

Yoongi stays awake until 2:30AM waiting for your call. 

He falls asleep feeling more and more anxious and annoyed.. It doesn’t last long though because he remembers how pretty you were as you ran to him this afternoon. How brightly you smiled and how tight you hugged him. It’s okay if you break a few promises… As long as were his… Everything should be okay.

And then it hits him. 

You aren’t his yet.

The next day, you wake up to a bunch of texts from Yoongi. All updating you about his day and random thoughts that had popped up. You find it touching how he’s truly trying to be more communicative and feel like a complete asshole for falling short since yesterday. 

Today, you hope to do better.

Today, you will do better. 

You begin today with calling him. He answers after the third ring. 

“Yoongi…”

“Yeah, yeah,” he mutters. “You forgot to call. You’re sorry. It’s okay. I’m not mad.”

You sigh and take a deep breath. “I liked your texts… They were really cute. Thanks for sending them.”

Yoongi can’t help but half-smile. He’s getting dressed for the day and your call surely made him feel relief from his overwhelming thoughts last night. 

“It’s whatever. You never replied by the way…”

“I’m on a call with you right now,” you snicker, finding his sulking attitude to be quite cute. “Wow, I never knew you were this needy! To think you come off as a bad boy? Crazy…”

Your realization hits you hard. He’s always been a softie deep down, of course, you knew that… But this… This is a whole other level. 

However, he ignores your comment and decides to prioritize his pride. Yes, he was needy and clingy when it comes to you… But if you already know, there’s no need to re-establish it. 

“I know you’re probably busy today too so I’ll let you go… And I only updated you because I know you’d like it.”

“Awh,” you whine at his goodbye. “Don’t go. Don’t sulk. Don’t act like you don’t miss me.”

“I do miss you,” he confesses. 

Your heart skips a beat.

“Where are you right now?” you ask him, recalling on your own that he should be free today. 

“Home.. But I’m probably going to head to the gym. Jungkook’s been commenting on my abs lately and now I’m starting to be a little self-conscious.” A forced laugh escapes Yoongi’s lips. “Anyways, bye. Have a good day. Don’t call me… Maybe you’ll remember to do things you’re not supposed to do.” 

In response, you gasp. “Stop it! Stay home. I’m coming over.”

“Why?”

“I miss you, duh.”

This time, Yoongi’s heart skips a beat. 

“That so?”

“Yes, it is so. Don’t leave, okay? I’m coming over,” you practically nag. “… And fuck Jungkook.”

“No thanks.”

“Oh, it’s you... What do you want?” he crosses his arms and leans against his door. Downplaying his excitement is the best solution he’s found for this interaction. His greeting is his way of masking his pain.

He feels like he hasn’t seen you in forever when the truth is; it’s only been a day or two. 

You roll your eyes and push past him, carrying a bag of groceries and your books. You set them on his kitchen island and begin to unpack. 

“I brought over some of my lesson plan prep for next week. I think my kids will love our upcoming themes! Like, my partner and I planned a Disney theme at first but she suggested we do something like—”

Your words are cut off by Yoongi resting his chin on your shoulders and wrapping his arms around you. Hugging you from behind, he takes in the scent of your just-washed hair and nuzzles into your neck. 

“Missed you.”

You like the way his body feels against yours. Heavy and comforting, you feel so safe and happy to be with him. You let him hold you and stay silent for a moment. 

“Are you upset with me? I really didn’t mean to be such a lousy friend—”

“Girlfriend.”

“What?” you laugh as he breaks away from you. 

He nods, holding your hands together and kissing them. With puppy eyes, he begs. “You need to make it up to me. Do you know how much sleep I’ve lost because of you? How sick to my stomach I’ve been without you? How neglected I’ve been feeling? Ugh, this is the least you can do.”

Yoongi never fails to amuse you. You lean back, playing along to his mood. “Oh my! How could I do such a thing to this sweet angel kitty face,” you tease, reaching for his cheeks and squishing them together. “How can I make it up to you?”

“Let me be your boyfriend,” he says through pucker lips. Your eyes widen and he takes your surprised reaction as a good sign. In a way, you look excited. It’s like he can feel your heart beating fast. 

Before he continues, he gives you a minute to compose yourself. Yoongi then tilts his head at you and pouts. “___, I’m asking and confessing to you for the second time. This is it. I want to be yours. I want to miscommunicate, get upset, makeup, and be happy with you.” 

Yoongi feels like every part of him is on fire. He’s so nervous and yet so foolishly confident. Time away from you made things so clear. He can’t do it! He can’t be away from you. He needs you. He wants you. He likes you so much… What else could he do but ask for you to his? 

“Maybe.”

His mouth drops. “Maybe?”

“It’s not a no,” you laugh, pushing away from him and continuing to unpack as if he didn’t just cash in his second try. As if… As if he didn’t just put his heart out on the line again. 

“It’s not exactly a yes either,” he counterpoints, shifting to face you. “___, be serious. What’s your answer?”

You look at him lovingly, knowing damn well that the answer isn’t what he wants to hear right now. You want to say yes. You want to give in so badly and just be happy together… But a part of you feels like it’s too early and too easy. Yoongi’s rejections made you go through so much and even if this isn’t about revenge—it’s a good lesson and journey to go through. 

At the end of the day, Min Yoongi has always been dreamy. 

To have him the way you do now… It’s a dream you don’t want to wake up from. So, you stay sleepy. 

You press snooze.

[sopebubbles]

Chapter 3

At twenty-five weeks, your baby's nostrils have developed and can even smell.

<- master list ->

Chapter summary: the boys and Y/N return to filming Run BTS.

Warnings: I can't think for any, but everyone is kinda sad (you'll get used to it)

WC: 3.2k

In the end it was a good thing Jimin had gotten you the appointment at First Love. Not only were the facilities a maternity dream, with helpful and caring nurses, midwives, and doctors operating a pristine,  state of the art facility, but filming for the new season of Run BTS was on top of you and you would have found yourself in a mountain of trouble if you'd had to be out the following week. 

Jeongguk had long ago become accustomed to taking his schedule as it came. Seldom did he look beyond what time he had to be at work in the morning, which was just about the only thing that factored into how he spent his evening before. So he wasn't really thinking when he was packed into the van to take him to the filming location. His half awake mind emptied completely of thoughts when he saw you on the set with your obvious pregnancy bump. 

He'd only seen you a handful of times between when you'd slept together and when they'd left for tour a month later. He was completely unfazed every time you ran into each other and you did your best to act equally unbothered. He hadn't seen you at all since their return. And even though Jimin had accused him of being your baby daddy, he hadn't really thought about what it would be like to see you, or even what you would look like pregnant. He hadn't imagined at all to see the evidence of your night--really moments--together standing in front of him.

Jimin catches him staring at you across the way with his mouth hanging open and that zoned out expression on his face. He claps a hand on the younger man's shoulder. "Maybe you should go talk to her."

Jeongguk closes his mouth and swallows, recomposing his features into a calm, collected expression. "It's not mine," he says coolly and walks away to get dressed by the stylists. 

Jimin sighs at his younger member's back and looks again to where you're standing, hoping to catch your eye, but you're busy giving instructions to some crew that are still finishing setting up, so he follows the other members. Namjoon doesn't miss the distraction you've brought to the two men, but his clenched jaw goes unnoticed by everyone.

An hour later some of the guys are messing around while they wait to begin filming. Finishing touches are still being added, but it's okay because the stylist is still fretting over Yoongi's hair, which he insists is fine. It's all making the executive producer/director antsy, though. By all rights you should be directing this episode since the concept was your idea and you did all the work securing the location and made practically every decision down to what the boys were wearing. But it's been a long time now you've been used to not getting the credit or respect you've been due at work. Even before you were pregnant, you've always been the only female producer in the company and it always made you an easy target. 

"Y/N! Where's my coffee, damn it!" the director yells, causing many around him to jump, including the members who are nearby.

Jimin and Jin in particular turn to him at the call of your name and see you coming from some distance away, wobbling in your best attempt to rush him a cup of coffee, holding onto your belly with your other hand. Honestly, thank God there's a lid on it otherwise it would be sloshing everywhere. Just as you approach, Jin steps up to meet you and takes the cup from your hand. He takes a long sip right in front of the director. 

"That's good coffee, Y/N. Thank you," he says when he pulls the cup from his lips. Then he turns to the director. "PD-nim, last I checked Y/N was an assistant producer on the show, not an assistant. Her job isn't to fetch you coffee. And as you can see, she's clearly pregnant and shouldn't be running around as you bark orders at her. Please let Ms. Y/N sit, and treat your staff with some dignity so we can have a pleasant shoot," Jin says in a shockingly polite tone, as if he hasn't just told the older man off. The director grumbles something unintelligible and waves you off, calling for his actual assistant.

"Thank you, Mr. Kim," you say with your head bowed. "You didn't have to do that."

"It's the right thing, Y/N. Please don't ever let me see you run while you're pregnant ever again. You'll give me a heart attack," he whispers before turning away from you. As he does so he sees Jimin about to approach you and smoothly slides his arm Jimin's shoulders, turning him back around.

"Don't talk to her," Jin whispers.

Jimin's expression drops, but he gives in easily. "Thank you, hyung."

"I didn't do it for you. And I'm not agreeing with your theory. I did it because she is pregnant and she shouldn't be treated that way. Don't read too much into it," Jin says before he lets the younger man go and walks away drinking his coffee.

From where he's standing, Jeongguk can't help but wonder if he should have been the one to say something. He wonders if that baby really is his that you're carrying, if there's any chance that is not. And if it is, just what the hell is he supposed to do about it? 

When you open the door to your apartment to Jimin he's shocked to see just how tired you look. You'd taken your hair down from the tight bun you'd kept it in all day and removed your makeup before changing into a pair baggy sweats. You look like you could drop where you stand. Jimin wants nothing more than to wrap you up in a hug, but he knows you have a lot of boundaries and he doesn't want to push them right away so he just gives you a half smile and lifts the take out bag a little in a gesture of goodwill. 

"That's a lot of stairs to climb," Jimin comments as you stand aside to let him in.

"It's only a couple flights of steps, Jimin-ssi. It's not gonna kill anyone," you grumble, gesturing to your coffee table as he looks for a place to put the takeout since you have no kitchen table in your small apartment. It's a cozy place without being cluttered, but there isn't much space. It's just a small kitchen attached to the living room occupied mostly by your couch and coffee table with a flat screen mounted on the wall. There's a separate bedroom and bathroom in the back. You go to the kitchen to grab chopsticks while Jimin settles on the couch.

"You could fall down them one day and then where would we be?" Jimin replies loudly. 

"I'm not going to fall, Jimin." You can't help rolling your eyes, even though you know you feel a bit of fear each time you hold your belly with one hand and clutch tightly to the railing with the other while going down the steps.

"You can't tell me you don't worry about going up and down the stairs," Jimin says, looking at you doubtfully, as if he can read your mind.

You shrug as you sit beside him. "What do you want me to do, Jimin?"

"Move somewhere with a working elevator?" 

"Cmon the landlord swears he's getting it fixed next neverary." You smirk. 

"Really, Y/N. It's difficult for you now, imagine what it will be like when you have a newborn and your groceries." Jimin  chooses a container of noodles and begins to pick them up with his chopsticks.

"I know. But no elevator is keeping the rent low, and I'll be able to hold on for a little while on what I have saved if…"

Jimin raises his eyebrows at you as noodles hang from his mouth, asking you a question.

"If I lose my job. Which, after what Jin pulled today, looks more and more likely."

Jimin sucks the noodles into his mouth and frowns at you. "Y/N, your baby is important to some very wealthy people. You'll be provided for if the worst happens."

Your eyes water as you try to interpret what he means. "You can't take my baby from me."

"No, Y/N! I would never let anyone do that. I swear. I'm just saying. If nothing else, you and your baby could always move into my place." Jimin shrugs as if such a promise were nothing to him.

"We'll be fine," you mumble.

Jimin smirks to himself and settles into your couch. He knows you're in a delicate situation, but he likes that he's getting used to your resistance. "Why are you lonely then, Y/N?"

"I'm n-" you start but Jimin is already shaking his head at your denial. "I'm not lonely as much as I'm just…alone. And I'm kind of used to being alone." You shrug as you look into your dish, avoiding Jimin's eyes. 

"No boyfriend?"

You roll your eyes and scoff. "Obviously not."

"What about before?" His eyes glance down to your belly and back to your face to be met with a glare from you. "What? You're an attractive woman of marriageable age."

"I am not," you mumble, blood rising to your cheeks. Good god, it should be evident enough that you don't get much attention from men that merely being called attractive has you blushing. But he is Park Jimin after all. 

"Cmon, Y/N. You're pretty. Pretty enough for Jeongguk to go after." Jimin nudges you with his elbow, but he notices the way your expression falls at that.

"That was a matter of convenience, I'm sure."

It's a bit hard for Jimin to argue with that, truth be told, but he's heard Jeongguk himself comment on how pretty you are before. Jimin chooses not to press the issue though. "So no boyfriend then?"

"Not for a long time," you tell him after you swallow food you had nervously pushed into your mouth. "I used to have a boyfriend. We lived together for about a year. I thought we'd get married eventually. But he found someone else he'd rather be with," you explain, your voice falling away at the end. 

"And your family is not in Seoul?" Jimin graciously moves on from the subject. 

You shake your head. "I'm from Busan."

Jimin's face lights up at the mention of his hometown. "Did you think about going home when you found out?"

"I did. I wanted to, but my parents won't have me."

Jimin stares at you for a moment, not sure how to respond. "What do you mean?" He finally asked, unable to understand.

You sigh heavily. "When I found out, home was the first place I thought to go. I don't have any close friends really, and you guys were out of the country so I couldn't really confront-" you stop short of saying his name the way you always do, and it's never escaped Jimin's notice. "So I went home and I confided in my parents because I was…scared. But I wouldn't tell them who the father is, and they assumed I didn't know, for whatever reason. They told me to get rid of the child, that they would help me get rid of it. But I refused. And they said they wouldn't offer me any other help. If I had my baby, they wanted nothing to do with it or me."

Jimin gaped at you. "How could any parents be so cruel?"

You can only shake your head. "My parents and I have never seen eye to eye. They're successful business owners and they wanted me to follow in the family business, but I never wanted that. This is just the latest in a series of ways I've disappointed them in my life."

"No wonder you're lonely," Jimin breathes.

You shrug. "Like I said, I'm used to it." A silence hangs in the air between you before you add, "when I have mochi, I won't be alone anymore." Jimin looks at you sadly, but you don't notice as you focus on your food. "Why are you alone, Jimin?"

"I told you, everyone is busy doing their own thing these days," he says simply.

"Yeah. What's your thing?" You wonder as you chew. 

He huffs a humorless laugh. "I don't know. For years it's just been Bangtan. 24/7. Eat, sleep and breathe BTS, you know. Even when the others started their families it felt like we were together more than not. But they've really grown out into their own little spheres and it feels like there's less and less at the center. Sometimes it feels like it's just me." You can see his eyes far off in thought before he snaps back. "Not that I think I'm the center of BTS! it's just...I feel like I'm the only one waiting for them to come back."

"Do you think they will?"

"Of course they will. We're BTS. BTS is forever." His lips can't help forming a small pout and you nod. 

"So why aren't you out trying to find your own family? Create your own sphere?"

Jimin shakes his head. "It's just not that easy." 

"Fair enough." You lift your shoulders. "Why not go out and party with Jeongguk, hook up with girls?"

Jimin frowns. "A year or two ago I could have seen the appeal of that, but honestly it seems like such a waste of time. And there's only room for one party boy in this band. Besides, who would go pick him up when he's gone too far."

You both fall into your own thoughts as you continue eating. You can't quite escape the strangeness of Park Jimin sitting on your old tattered couch eating with you. But it isn't even so much that it's him. It would be strange to have anyone there. You can probably count on one hand the number of guests you've had in this apartment. You used to have friends back when you were in university, but most of them were people you met through your ex, and you lost contact with most of them when you two broke up. The fact was you'd always been a bit of a loner. Too shy or simply too focused on your goals to make many friends along the way. You used to get on alright with your colleagues before you got pregnant. Now your exclusively male coworkers avoid you like the plague, lest anyone make the assumption that they were the one responsible for your condition if they were seen being friendly with you. HYBE is a place full of rumors, after all. But as the weeks went on with Jimin being around you, you find there's nothing uncomfortable in his presence. He surprises you, and you're naturally defensive and independent, but your reactions don't actually spark from any displeasure with him. Jimin might be the most comforting person you've ever been around, even when he's just sitting there beside you. It's a wonder that he should find himself alone when so many would surely love to be with him. But maybe it's for the best that Jimin so obviously holds himself back. He's such a kind person you think he'd probably be easy to take advantage of. 

He knows that, and it's part of why he likes you so much. Knowing that you won't even make Jeongguk own up for what he is in fact responsible for, you'd never take advantage of anyone. And Jimin has to admit he does like you. When he first approached you, it was out of a genuinely good natured desire to help someone in need. Once he'd put together the pieces of your secret he knew he had to continue to help, especially if no one else would. But through your brief and random interactions, he has to admit that he finds your habits amusing, enjoys learning and anticipating your reactions, and just generally feels good when he's around you. Being around you felt like opening a window on his stale life. 

Maybe it's the fact that you feel the same way. Maybe you just don't want to think of him being lonely again after kindly sharing a meal with you. Or maybe it's you who isn't quite ready to return to the lonesome quiet of your apartment. Whatever the reason, you've barely thought it before an invitation to stay and watch a movie falls from your lips. "If you have the time," you add meekly. 

He does, and he stays. He insists that you sit and pick a movie while he cleans up. He takes your trash out to the garbage chute. You pick a goofy romantic comedy that you comfortably laugh your way through. Half way through the movie Jimin asks to use your bathroom and you direct him through your bedroom all the way to the back of the small apartment.

Jimin doesn't mean to judge, but he can't help wondering as he walks through your bedroom where you'll fit a crib or a changing table for baby mochi. He can see you don't have any of these things already, but he guesses it is still early. He can't imagine where you'll put any of the copious amounts of things Jin's babies seemed to have needed. How will you manage all by yourself? he wonders. 

When he makes his way back out to the living room, you've fallen asleep, adorable little snores falling from your gaping mouth. He has to slap a hand over his own mouth to keep in the fond giggle from bubbling past his plush lips. He walks back to your room and prepares your bed for you before he comes to pick up your body, still light enough for his strong muscles, and carries you to your room. It's a wonder you don't stir, but you were just that exhausted. Jimin tucks you in nice and snug before walking to your bedroom door.

"Thanks for dinner, Y/N," he smiles before he turns off the light. 

He only makes it as far as the coffee table to pick up his phone before he realizes he can't leave. Your apartment door only has a deadbolt, and even though you don't live in the worst neighborhood in Seoul, it's not the best one either. He'd never forgive himself if something happened to you because he left you vulnerable. It takes him half a second to decide on sleeping on your couch. He'll wake up early and leave before you wake up. Surely nothing bad will happen at 5 am. He settles himself on the couch and pulls the blanket you were snuggled into earlier over his body. Your scent is on it, and it gives him a warm feeling that rushes him to sleep.

Taglist: @halesandy @burningupp-replies @lilacdreams-00 @minclangyyy @yoongiofmine @yonkimint @wholockian1 @cbgdoll @babycoffeefire @theatren3rd @bri-mal @armytwist @hwayne2294 @aurel1ia @n4mina @juju-227592 @mickmoon @yoongicenterofmyuniverse @likeshatteredrainbowglass @softforpj @chimchimsauce @arikimtanapon @outro-kook @ellesalazar @somewhereinthestarss @cscam @svgahigh @defcv28 @shydestinyyouth @bbl32 @eternally-writing-main @craftymoonchaos @chimchimmarie @sweetcheeksdna @lovelytaes-blog @nylandersprincess @tea4sykes

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Banner by @memphisfaith

Synopsis: 15 year old Kim Yn has her fair share of poor choices and bad days. She used to get through them with her brother, Namjoon, and their friends, Yoongi and Hobi. When they dismiss her dream, she's determined to make her voice heard and prove her resilience. Luckily she meets a few new friends a long the way that help her become bulletproof.

Genre: social media au with written parts mixed in, high school au, heavy angst, a teensy bit of fake dating

Kim Yn × ?????

Themes: coming of age, girl power, unrequited love, underground rap line vs. punk band vocal line, toxic relationships

Warnings: mentions of past self harm, mentions of sex (no depictions of sex since all characters are minors), depitctions of anxiety/panic attacks, under age use of drugs and alcohol, just an enormous amount of angst.

Status: complete

Send an ask or comment to be tagged..

Look below the cut for more author notes than anyone ever asked for.

Bulletproof Heart

❣ teaser

🎤 Intros: D-Town Boyz + Yn

🎸 Intros: Bulletproof

Arc I

❣one: yn has left the chat

❣two: anti account

❣three: look it up babyboy

❣four: I was born this way

❣five: the feeling is mutual

❣six: potato tomato

❣seven: aww but you love it

❣eight: what's the truth Tae?

❣nine: have fun

❣ten: war of hormone ✏

❣eleven: what am I forgetting

❣twelve: making her moves

❣thirteen: a tough one

❣fourteen: bulletproof yn

❣fifteen: a thing?

❣sixteen: don't bother

❣seventeen: I'm with you ✏

❣eighteen: THE LINK YN

❣nineteen: don't be nervous

❣twenty: give it to me ✏

❣bonus: bulletproof birthday

Arc II

❣twenty-one: three conditions

❣twenty-two: I remember +✏

❣twenty-three: kool kids

❣twenty-four: a date +✏

❣twenty-five: friends for now

❣twenty-six: watch his back

❣twenty-seven: your bf jimin?

❣twenty-eight: collaboration +✏

❣twenty-nine: no party +✏

❣thirty: a deal +✏

❣thirty-one: better for him

❣thirty-two: a regular thing

❣thirty-three: I love you ❤

❣thirty-four: we're not waiting +✏

❣thirty-five: everything is fine +✏

❣Bonus: School Yard by JHope and Heart

❣thirty-six: mental health day

❣thirty-seven: follow your heart

❣thirty-eight: a fourth option ✏

Arc III

❣thirty-nine: called it

❣forty: good kisser

❣forty-one: gonna regret it +✏

❣forty-two: crashing your date

❣forty-three: you're totally 🥵 +✏

❣forty-four: Neanderthal brain +✏

❣forty-five: guilty

❣forty-six: left out

❣forty-seven: get back here!!!

❣forty-eight: it's what I want

❣forty-nine: MY hope

❣fifty: where you belong ✏

❣fifty-one: producer Yn

❣fifty-two: something new

❣fifty-three: 👀👀👀

❣fifty-four: we need therapy

❣fifty-five: let's be Bulletproof

❣fifty-six: the end +✏

❣bonus: one year

🎄 Bulletproof Christmas Special

Author notes:

Yn's theme song is:

Itzy's Yeji is used as a face claim for Yn simply for aesthetic purposes. Some other random pictures may be used for outfits etc. The character of Yn and her musical style are in no way related to the idol and no other members of itzy will appear

Photos of OT7 from 2013-15 approximately will also be featured bc that's closest to the age they are in the story

Everyone is a musician but I don't consider this to be "idolverse" at least not for now

Members of NTC will appear in name only bc I get tired of coming up with names and that's like 57 names for the taking.

This story takes place in Daegu but it's mostly American teen culture 🤷🏻‍♀️

I love yoongi so much and I'm so sorry idk why he has to be such an ass but if you need some fluffy Yoongi go read The Sea Without You lmao. I promise next au I'll make him more likeable. 🤪

I'm not creative enough to make a banner for this so if anyone has those skills and wants to lend them hmu the lovely @memphisfaith made my beautiful banner. Please support their work!

If for some reason my blog disappears there posts have all been reblogged on @jinkooktae

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❣fifty-three: 👀👀👀

Bulletproof Heart

A/n: sorry about the yoongi/yeji edit but someone 👀 sent it to me and absolutely could not resist using it

Taglist is still open!! [ask or comment to be added]: @burningupp-replies @halesandy @jikooksgirl19 @lilacdreams-00 @loveyoongles @yoongiofmine @thequeen-kat @renhold-nightspear @xxlovingfandomsxx @disregard-thefootsteps @taeshuworld    @abc-abc1234-a @becomingbts @xianav @kim-jias-den @deleteidentity @r4yih @somelazysundays @hobizi @secretlycrazyhummingbird @lyra0cassiopeia @ventusnonexpectat @theestrangeddreamer @softychimseok @binniebutter @betysotelo18 @thealmightyzah @joyfullyobsessed @twilight-loveer

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I don't like doing sm profiles so I'm giving you whatever the fuck this is instead lmao.

Jeon Yn: primary school teacher, jeongguk's older sister, Jin's BFF, ex-fiancé of Yoongi, eldest of the whole group

Kim Seokjin: chef, Namjoon's roommate and bff, ex-bff and roommate of Yoongi, Taehyung's cousin but more like an older brother

Min Yoongi: producer, Namjoon's bff, Yn's ex

Jung Hoseok: real estate agent, Tae's bff from military service, New to the group

Kim Namjoon: professor, friends since college with Yn, Jin and Yoongi, voice of reason but tries to stay above the drama

Park Jimin: therapist, jeongguk's high school sweetheart, Yn's bff, general support friend for the whole group

Kim Taehyung: manages real estate office, bff of jikook and hobi, looks up to his hyung and noona

Jeon Jeongguk: personal trainer, Jimin's high school sweetheart, baby of the group, close with his noona