#you can also be truamatized by people you do hate and never forgive but that's. for a different post | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

elytrafemme · 2 years

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oh you know what it is actually. the reason that i’m way more willing to talk about me being a bad girlfriend is because i have done a lot to be a better partner and have fought probably the most brutal uphill battle trying to heal from relationship issues in the past so that i can like actually love people better. and i still stumble and fall but i really am trying to be a better friend and partner and everything.

but i can’t like. say the same of my exes. because you know, i’m not them. which makes it a lot harder to talk about anything they did because, like. i want to believe that they’re better now to anyone that came after me but i don’t know and unfortunately i don’t know if that knowledge would even fix this feeling.

#nightmare.personal #important thing for people to keep in mind is that something can be a lose lose situation and be traumatic #there doesn't have to be a clear person to blame for a situation to be traumatic #like none of my relationships excluding. one which wasn't romantic. and . okay excluding a few non romantic ones #really had One Person to blame more clearly than the other #a lot of my romantic relationships could be summarized as two people who were going through shit #and both did bad things but both aren't bad people #and that can still be trauma #i think that my ex is a great person at their core but they also traumatized me #and i think that's hared to remember bc a lot of trauma spaces do make things black and white #trauma is complicated and God knows i can talk forever about how complicated #relationship trauma is to navigate and also heal from it's a fucking mess #but just know that you can be traumatized by someone without hating them #you can also be truamatized by people you do hate and never forgive but that's. for a different post

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