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gretchensinister · 4 years

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So I watched Color Out of Space yesterday because I thought it would be bad and batshit and something that would serve as good knitting background.

Only it wasn’t bad.

(Still batshit and still good knitting background though.)

I don’t really know where to start talking about this but since I’m doing this for free, I’m going to talk about eggs benedict first. I love eggs benedict. If you don’t know what it is, the standard is an English muffin, with Canadian bacon on top of it, with a poached egg on top of that, and the whole thing topped with hollandaise sauce.

I can poach an egg sort of successfully most of the time. But my standard grocery shopping doesn’t include English muffins or Canadian bacon, and making hollandaise is a whole thing with raw egg yolks and either getting your blender dirty or whisking until your arm falls off and like…if I have enough time to make a breakfast of more than one step for myself (or if I feel like having breakfast for dinner) I’m also probably trying to chill that day. Also I’m already poaching a couple of eggs and that’s where the anxiety has to go.

So when I want eggs benedict at home, it’s going to be made with: whatever kind of bread thing I have, topped with whatever kind of meat I have in the fridge (I have used a sliced-up hot dog for this), topped with a poached egg, topped with not hollandaise, but something that will work for the purpose, made by stirring up mayo with lemon juice and a dash of cayenne pepper. I’ve never been disappointed with my results, maybe because I’m a gremlin? I wouldn’t serve any of this business to a chef, but I don’t make this to serve to a chef, I make this to eat it.

Maybe that will help you understand what I’m feeling about Color Out of Space. Some spoilers below.

In the first half-hour or so of the movie, I was flip-flopping about whether the movie was “self-aware” or not. Like, is the weirdness unintentional? Should I wince with secondhand embarrassment at the filmmakers?

I think the answer is firmly NO to these two questions. In fact, I think that the filmmakers were WILDLY SUCCESSFUL in what they intended to do.

There were several different things that convinced me that they were doing whatever they were doing on purpose, including all their deviations from the H.P. Lovecraft story the movie is based on.

1. Right at the beginning, there’s a bit of flirting between the hydrologist and the daughter of the family that lives on the farm where the meteorite will soon land. Yeah it’s heterosexual nonsense, BUT. The hydrologist is Black and the daughter is white. H.P. Lovecraft’s head is suitably exploded, now we can do whatever we want.

2. The dinner scene with the family where there’s a short conversation about how the daughter is always wanting fast food. Now, in context this is just to establish that she’s missing living in the city vs. in the middle of nowhere. But importantly, she’s the first character we see in the movie and so is kind of our gateway into this situation. And she doesn’t want the home-cooked meal, she wants the fast food, even after her mother points out the questionable ingredients. “I know,” she says. “But it tastes like heaven.” Sometimes you want fast food even though you know very well that it’s not gourmet. Not every horror movie has to be a perfectly balanced tour-de-force of suspense, mystery, and social commentary. You can relax. Come into the movie.

3. The first creepy phone call. The hydrologist is at his survey camp (? IDK why he was outdoors at night in this scene actually, mumble mumble fieldwork?) and he gets a garbled, static-filled phone call on what is obviously a modern smartphone. But when he disconnects, there is the clear sound of a DIAL TONE. To me, this is too bizarre to be an accident, especially because there are a number of other phone calls and disconnections in the movie, and none of them end with a dial tone. I think the filmmakers do know what it’s like to use a phone. (Though there is a scene where the daughter is trying to call 911 and tells her father in a panic that she can’t get a dial tone. IDK what that’s about. A genuine error? A moment that might as well have a label that says “nitpickers take pot shots here”?) Back to the hydrologist. At this moment, as a viewer, I’m still thrown off by the dial tone. It’s nonsense, and that makes it a “bad movie” marker, I guess, but someone had to decide to put the sound in. It couldn’t have happened carelessly. And then the hydrologist has to block a glare of light. He uses the book he’s been reading, which is “The Willows” by Algernon Blackwood—which was one of Lovecraft’s favorite supernatural stories. It’s very clear to the audience—not a lingering shot, but still something that’s not supposed to be an Easter egg.

And this is where I say, okay. The filmmakers know their source material. They know their audience. No one in the movie is winking at the camera, and the movie is yes, kind of funky, but it’s not made in a careless way or in a way that you feel that the filmmakers are inviting laughter. It’s horror—and believe me, they’ve got some practical effects in this one are truly ghastly—but it’s horror that exists very clearly in its genre and feels playful because of that.

Three things that show that playfulness to me: the name of the hippie squatter’s cat. The cat is named G-spot, which, in the movie itself is explained as an immature joke “a pussy named—” but even as I was groaning and thinking “that’s a terrible name for a cat” the part of my brain that knows more about Lovecraft than I care to is like, “but not the WORST name for a cat!” and I don’t know if the filmmakers expected anyone to be like “well at least the cat isn’t named ———” but that was part of my reaction.

The casting of Nicholas Cage. Nicholas Cage is/was kind of a meme on his own, and in this movie he plays the dad of the family that lives in the house the meteor lands by. And at a certain point in the movie, his accent goes a little weird and he starts acting more like the stereotypical asshole horror movie dad. I dismissed this as just a disappointment at first, like, this is bad acting and bad acting choices and bad writing happening to move the plot. But then he switches back to his previous established character, and after it happened again I realized that this was happening because of the alien color messing with his mind! Even after accepting that the movie was being purposeful, I was still caught up in the idea of Cage as a bad actor and the movie as a bad movie that I was fooled into missing the first signs of alien mind control! That’s meta.

The kid going full creepy child like, immediately after the meteor hit. Obsessive drawing, staring off into space, invisible friends, the works. But it’s not even a main thing. We never even get a full good look at what he’s drawing. There’s no scene where either parent stops and dramatically stares at it and we wonder “oooooh is it really real?” It’s definitely real and it’s causing worse problems by the minute. The kid has gone full creepy child, but there is OTHER SHIT that is ALSO URGENT. It amused me to have this trope be present but not central.

What else do I want to say? Overall this movie had very little downtime. It didn’t waste a bunch of time with people denying that anything weird was going on, or trying to make the viewer wonder if all this was real. It’s real and it’s fucking up your alpacas! The movie assumes that viewers know “The Colour Out of Space” and doesn’t tease us with any “what-is-happening-if-anything” tension. Of course it’s happening. Show us what we came to see.

I think what made it successful for me were the same kinds of things that make good fanfiction successful, which only makes sense as it is essentially a “The Color Out of Space” modern AU. The willingness to play with tropes, the assumption of viewer familiarity with the source, etc.

The effects were used judiciously, and if some of it just seemed like a light filter or two I have to say I don’t really care.

And I think that’s all for now. Oh, except that I want to mention, only the Black guy lived. The hydrologist was the one to narrate the opening and the closing, the only voice that spoke any words from the original short story. Whaddaya know.

#color out of space #this absolutely deserves to be a cult classic #another comparison: it's like if Annihilation had no brains #but not in a BAD way #(I love Annihilation)

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knightofbalance-13 · 6 years

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https://sokumotanaka.tumblr.com/post/177613164954/the-funniest-thing-about-rwby-as-it-slowly

Somebody get me the “Soku acts racist” file.

I remember hating it and I still do with how it progresses (especially since this is suppose to be based off real life minorities) is how the humans mostly fair skinned one’s too (ironic huh?) are the worse people in remnant.

Soku what the fuck is your point here? I only understand AFTER reading the rest of this post, you formatted this statement so terribly I couldn’t initially get your point.

Also if I go to Africa and see a bunch of warlords running around the place, does that make all black people bad like you imply here with Remnant and light skinned people? Of fucking course not, because that country is majorly inhabited by black people: no fucking shit the bad ones are probably black. Just like in America, where most criminals are white because white people are the majority here.

The faunus were promised equality after humans unjustly slaughtered them based on appearance with no retaliation as well.

they gifted them a shitty island with barely any resources.

Their kids laughed at the genocide resulting in a just smack in the mouth and before that smack happened after they laughing they called them trash, animals etc (which even if they are the point is that they’re being intentionally bigoted for laughs.)

Instead of incapacitating them four girls had no problem killing them.

An asian coded white woman is using them intentionally as canon fodder for some reason.

Faunus are so afraid a large portion of the population did not want to leave their island.

In the adam short humans attack them because they’re faunus, and the leader Ghira just tries to tell them they don’t want trouble, and they’re surprised when the faunus defend themselves.

Wow wow wow!

Hold it right there asshole.

A. None of these actions aside from ONE is seen as good or even acceptable and we’ll get to that.

Qrow acts disguisted at the actions of those people.

Oobleck is outright horrified by the existence of Meangrie.

The audience is SUPPOSE to hate those girls/

Cinder is a fucking amoral sadist

Blake acts indignaunt because of that

And they were SUPPOSE TO BE BAD PEOPLE.

The only one that is excusable here is the one where RWBY ‘killed’ WF members...WHO WERE TRYING TONKILL THEM AND CAUSE A TERRORIST ATTACK. It was self defense in no ambiguious terms. Since WHEN is it racist to defend yourself from trying to kill you?!

So far the only place with a faunus headmaster has bars and probably other places where faunus aren’t even allowed….in a place where it’s described as the world’s black market crimehole.

Gee, whodithunk? A shithole has shitty people living in it. Big fucking shocker, have you not seen a run down city before?

Humans have been getting progressively worse and worse as the series goes one (not to say the faunus aren’t any better, miles and kerry couldn’t write minorities if their lives depended on it.)

A. it’s “on”, for a guy who gets on my back for grammar and spelling, you sure do make a lot of grammar and spelling mistakes.

B. No fucking shit. Remnant is an awful place to live. That is the point.

And C. How the fuck are they failing to write minorities if they just treat them the same as everyone else, which is the fucking point of equality? Or do you think every single minority character needs to be a Mary Sue?

But humans are literally staging attacks on faunus just because their faunus. (hey at least miles and kerry got that part right, white people seem to be a big source of the problem right now.) When is weiss’s mother gonna call the cops on blake’s family having a barbecue?

Okay-

Consider BLM has been acting more and more like the fucking White Fang, don’t go trying to pin this shit on a race. Or maybe people should listen to those people over there claiming white people hold no faults. After all, you’re both preaching the same shit just absolving a difference race so who cares who they listen to?

I would have tried

Point is the humans are supposed to be at least in mile and kerry’s case the “sympathetic” ones, they mention this many times, one of them being when qrow is explaining humans hunting down faunus just to kill them cause they’re “threatened.” and yet the humans seem to be the biggest problem remnant has, not the faunus, not the white fang, especially if the latter can be stopped by scared islanders with tiki torches!?! *sigh* why are miles and kerry, miles and kerry?

... HOW HIGH ARE YOU?!

No seriously, how many drugs did you take to think the message was that the humans were suppose to be sympathetic.

There is precisely ONE sympathetic human character related to the White Fang plotline. Weiss and even SHE is considered more flawed than her Fanaus counterpart in Blake. As for sympathetic Fanaus characters? Blake, Ghira, Kali, Sienna Khan, Illa-

It’s easier to name the NON sympathetic characters who are Fanaus: Adam. ... That is all.

The fact that you think that the narrative is telling you that the HUMANS are the sympathetic ones is fucking laughable and goes to show your racism: you think anyone who looks white (and I do mean LOOKS white because Miles is half Mexician you fucking racist) thinks the struggles of minorities is unsympathetic.

Meanwhile humans are either indifferent or literally attacking them with adam being the only faunus radical cause all the other white fang are faceless dudes with no personality.

... This literally so conflicted he tries bitching about two different, incompatible things at once. Dumbass.

I can guarantee you that if let’s say the black panthers or the kkk were gonna scale a large scale attack, you’d have people from both disagree, defect, learn the error of their ways. the only one we had as tuckson out of hundreds! Oh and the faunus who came to that meeting in volume 2 cause roman lied that he was gonna take down an oppressive government in order to replace it with a better one that will also benefit the faunus, and a majority of those faunus were young adults willing to give their lives on this plan.

Actually, considering the shit BLM pulls now and the shit the alt right pulls now as well: it’s not that fucking easy. People just don’t magically learn the error of their ways. many of them are like Illa: conflicted yes but still trying to justify the actions of their group due to their own personal pain.

So I guess you don’t understand black people as well as white people.

Meanwhile humans, even our heroes have zero investment in how the faunus are feeling, they sit there blinking as a girl gets bullied and do nothing, they have yet to say a thing about the faunus racism, or how blake must feel.

THEY ARE SAVING THE ENTIRE PLANET. NOT JUST ONE RACE, FROM A GENOCIDAL SOCIOPATH.

They have more important shit to take care of than racial tensions. Oh wait, you couldn’t give a racist shit about humans (read: white people) if your life depended on it.

Yang’s just made cause her pussy (which isn’t even her girlfriend) isn’t attending to her pussy. She never even considers “hey she could be in danger.” and in the writers commentary miles and kerry state how it’s public knowledge of minstral being prejudice against faunus and if it’s public knowledge why doesn’t anyone consider maybe she can’t walk around without probably being attacked in the crimehole of remnant!?

A. I am god damn sure that is homophobic, reducing someone down to their fucking sexuality rather than who they are as a person.

B. And Blake never thought maybe she shouldn’t abandon the girl with abandonment issues. Gee, almost like there is NO difference between people of different races.

And C. BLAKE CAN HANDLE HERSELF. She is a Huntress is training! And has a constant bodyguard in the form of Sun/Illa.

This fucking series man.

This series is it’s own laugh track.

Yes, your backwards delusions is the show and the laughter of everyone mocking you for your shit is a laugh track.

And BLM isn’t a racist organization.

Seriously Soku, go fuck yourself.

#sokumotanaka

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ghoulluck · 7 years

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Wish That You Were Here

| NOTES: Anything canon after season two of Scream is not included. This is time line and canon divergent. There are MANY mentions and allusions to other pieces of literature and horror films so if you get even a few of them congrats. If It’s reblogged enough, I could make a part two.Be aware there will be spelling and grammar errors. |

SUMMARY: Inspired by Florence + the Machine’s Wish That You Were Here. Audrey comes home to Lakewood after a fourteen year period serving Special Forces. There she has to resolve the demons she thought she buried years ago in her violent military history and realizes her definition of home could be blonde hair and brown eyes. (braudrey. one shot? no rating. warnings for graphic/triggering etc content. if reception is well, there might be a part two or more.)

PLEASE REBLOG, DO NOT REPOST. THIS IS AN ORIGINAL WORK.

Audrey turned the key over in her fingers. She felt the weight of her dog tags slide towards her on the chain. “Here’s your coffee ma'am.” The woman blinked and remembered where she was.

“Uhm, t-thanks. Sorry.” Putting the chain down, she stared at the cup in silence. The diner’s red neon sign washed in through the dirty window casting Audrey a pale pink.She glanced at her green beret sitting on top of a pile of unopened letters. She had never written back, but the letters had never stopped coming even if they had slowed in volume. Nearly every single one was from Brooke.

She let her icy eyes fall on the Christmas card sitting on table as she touched the old house key sitting among the dog tags around her neck. Opening the card one more time, she read Brooke’s near immaculate hand writing.

[WISH THAT YOU WERE HERE.]

Audrey took in a deep breath as she closed it. It had been very easily at least a decade since she had set foot in Lakewood. She hardly ever breathed her home town’s name out loud in fear of it catching up to her.

(“Audrey?” Sheriff Acosta’s voice sounded tight over the telephone. “Did I get a ticket again?” she half joked as she wiped the candy counter down. “I’m sorry for this news.” The teenager stopped a moment as she stared at a scratch on the bright red counter top. Audrey scratched at an itch in her throat that never seemed to go away. “Your dad was hit by a drunk driver off highway 45.” Audrey tried to swallow the itch down. It became a tickle that would turn into a hiccup of a sob.)

She squeezed her eyes shut to prevent the tears that still burned as if she had heard the news only yesterday. Joining the special forces had never been part of her own agenda. Hell, her agenda had been to get back into film making and not letting anything ruin that for her again. The idea had been a footnote given to her by her Dad. She recalled him laughingly mentioning it while they were making pancakes one morning.

(His eyes were starting to regain a little bit of their light. Her mother had passed only four years before. Audrey was in eighth grade and Emma sat across the table. They were playing footsie and laughing while stuffing their gross pimply faces with pancakes. She could barely hear him talking on the phone with Uncle Mike. He was laughing about her newborn baby cousin, Thomasin. “Our girls are tough, I’m sure Audrey or Thomasin is gonna carry on the Jensen military legacy.” )

At the time Audrey would huff and roll her eyes. She hadn’t gone home since the funeral. She had thought about chucking the house key in Wren lake, but she didn’t have the guts. Her rough fingers hesitantly reached for the pile. She was almost afraid of what they would say. Tearing open the second most recent letter. A few pictures fell out, they were of Emma and a tiny little baby. Turning them open carefully, she read the notes on the back.

[Emma & Eisley].

She picked up the letter for answers.

[Hey its me again. Just keeping you updated on stuff. Emma had her first baby. Her name is Eisley and she’s the cutest. Her eyes look a lot like yours. She’s so lucky to have colored eyes since her dad has brown eyes. Emma was scared she was gonna look more like her dad, but she's a good 50/50. Love ya, hope to hear/see you soon]

It took Audrey hours to sort through the letters backwards. Emma had met some guy in med school. Noah was a big time crime writer -- Brooke was kind enough to include his debut Vanity Fair article about the Texas Debutante killer. She had to laugh about the irony about it all. She touched these items as she read to make their lives more real to her again. Stavo and Brooke had divorced amicably and according to Blondie he was doing pretty well with his foot in the animation department. He was working with Konami for a new generation of horror gaming.

They had done so much in her time away. She touched her split lip which was a reminder of what she had accomplished in her own time away from them. Audrey had polished her steel and sharpened her edges. She had channeled her grief and anger into power and bloodshed. Picking up the letters, she filed them into her duffle bag’s side pocket. Putting a dollar bill under her untouched coffee cup, she slowly moved out of the diner’s booth. Her wary eyes flicked around carefully to take in the people around her.

In her nearly twelve hour seating, the diner had acquired a new set of hard asses. Most of them were from the near by base and Audrey made her way to the restroom with her green beret in hand. The bathroom resembled one she would find at a shitty seven eleven.

Dropping her bag on the floor she took a look at herself in the mirror. She had retained some of her baby face, something she was thankful for. Her blue eyes had gotten paler with age. Maybe it had something to do with extended periods of staring into flood lights. There was a shadow of a black eye around her left eye. Her jaw clicked when her mouth parted to observe the split in her lip.

Shrugging out of her uniform carefully, Audrey noted had more freckles on her bare shoulders probably from sun exposure. She passed a finger over old bullet wounds on her right arm. Some scars were uglier than others. The brunette pulled her white tank top over her head quickly to pull on a loose fitting charcoal colored tee. Her shoulder still ached from tearing her rotary cuff.

Shucking her uniform pants off, she pulled the metal belt from it to lace it through her black jeans and sighed at the new space. Her clothing was cold and at least a few years old. Her jeans were worn at the knees and if she had been a few years younger she would have thought it stylish. She put her arms into her trusty leather jacket before carefully pulling her long brunette hair over it’s collar. She made a note to cut it when she got the chance.

The dog tags clinked as she finished dressing and she put her uniform back into her duffle bag in a neatly folded and now empty corner. She lugged the green bag over her shoulder as she pushed her way out of the restroom.

“Bye ma’am! Happy holidays!”

Audrey cast a glance at the waitress and for a moment she didn’t know what to say as she went out the door, “--T-thanks.”. The cold air hit her and her breath fanned out into the air in cool white clouds. Making her way to her beaten red jeep she threw the duffle into the back seat. The vehicle wasn’t warm, but she had spent time in places colder than hell in less clothes. Tying her hair back, she turned on the GPS to set it.

CURRENT LOCATION - BARROW, ALASKA

SET DESTINATION - LAKEWOOD, LOUISIANA

She gave a white puff as she plugged the key in the ignition and sparked up a cigarette.It was a bad habit she had picked up when she was alone. She let the jeep’s engine warm up before cranking up the heat. The windows fogged and she looked at the gold watch on her right wrist to hide a scar. It was her mother’s, a gift from her dad before she had passed from cancer. The piece was delicately detailed and it reminded her that her parents were finally together somewhere.

Looking at the watch made her feel as if a hundred years had passed since she was eighteen. Covering it up with the leather jacket, she wiped away a spot on the passenger’s window to see the mirror. Her limbs were starting to feel heavy. Rolling her head back against the jeep’s headrest, she debated if she was really going to go home on such a shit impulse.

“Fuck it.”

Audrey glanced at the rear view mirror as she pulled out of the parking lot and made her way down to the first high way. For the next five days, she spent her time seeing things she had missed and stopping at scenic routes to take short videos and quick pictures before coming across a beauty salon.

She put down her camera. She was only about thirty minutes from home and suddenly, she didn’t like the idea of parting with her long locks just yet. Audrey had changed too much to go back to who she was. Entering against her best instinct, the brunette was greeted by a bored looking stylist, “Hi, how can I help you?”

“Uh yeah, I’d like to get a hair cut? Maybe some color?” She had dyed it once a long time ago, a glossy blue black and she was offered an array of books and color samples. Determined not to be overwhelmed, she chose out a short crop that would sit just below her chin and a glossy black color. The process took longer then she had expected and Audrey was starting to feel the nerves when the excess was being washed away.

She closed her pale eyes to avoid looking at herself in the mirror until it was all done. Audrey had to laugh at the stylist’s commentary. “You kinda look like Kate Beckinsale-- what was that movie?” She shrugged, she was laughing too hard at her own reflection to remember as the cape came off. The shorter crop made her feel a little lighter. Not bothering to hear a price, she shelled out a hundred and made her way out. “Happy holidays,” Audrey stated through a sigh before the door closed behind her.

She slid on her sunglasses as she ran a hand through her wet black hair and stared up at the sun with a grimace. She looked back down at her watch. With every step, her dog tags felt heavier and the key seemed to be the heaviest weight on her chain. Climbing back into the jeep with a groan, she sat in the driver’s seat.

The rear view mirror declared Louisana’s temperature at a nice solid 60.

Audrey gave a sigh as she drove her way out of the parking lot. She didn’t have anymore excuses between her and Lakewood. “Fuck --” she hissed under her breath as she sped down highway 45. Out of the corner of her eye she caught her Dad’s worn old cross with fresh flowers. It wasn’t like he was fucking buried there and she made a sharp u-turn to take a good look at it before peeling out.

She stared at her GPS as she navigated the town’s streets. She recognized various things here and there, but it had changed so much Audrey almost felt lost. Who the hell in their right mind had sunk so much money into Lakewood? She spied a street sign [Quinn Maddox Memorial]. It was a grisly reminder of why she wanted to leave Lakewood. It took everything special and turned it to shit.

She raked her calloused finger through her hair as she drove slowly to see what had changed. Maggie had sold her house to be closer to Emma and Eisley from the looks of it. Unfamiliar faces played in the front yard with their children and grandchildren. Audrey found herself driving by Noah’s house to see his dad and mom pleasantly still settled in their house. She passed her house without a blink and sighed as she tried to ignore the weight of the key around her neck.

She found herself navigating to the familiar address on one of the letters. It was Stavo’s old house. When Sheriff Acosta had been fired, he had been relocated and Brooke had followed, initially as her letter depicted and she had come back. It was hard to imagine the Maddox princess living so humbly in the old Acosta house. Bringing her jeep to a stop across the street, she stuck her head out the window to see who lived in the house as she put a cigarette in between her lips.

‘Stalker alert,’ she thought to herself as she put the lighter to the menthol and exhaled it’s poison into the cool Louisiana air. Setting her head back into the jeep, she let her head rest as she watched the house and finished off her cigarette. Lakewood still smelled like Wren Lake and she took in a deep breath of that cold sweet water air. She waved away her cigarette smoke and sighed when she saw nothing moving.

She peered at the bright red envelope sitting in her passenger seat. Taking it in her hands again, she passed her thumb over the date. It was the most recent and the only dated for the current year. She passed her fingers over the glossy picture of Emma and Eisley before sticking it in her in her sun visor like they were going to look over her and hopefully keep her safe, mainly from herself.

Audrey had more than one demon to pick a bone with. She glanced at the gold watch. Slowly she moved to unclasp it. An angry red scar stared back at her. She couldn’t forget how she had acquired it. She closed her eyes a minute and even with all her anxiety she couldn’t ward off the tiredness she felt to her core.

When she slept, she never dreamed and if she did, she never remembered what she had dreamt about even when the feeling of fear remained. If there was anything she hated most in the world, it was the feeling of being powerless.

(The knife slashed at her arm. The burning red pain of it had her gasping as the killer stepped back. She could hear Piper’s laugh ringing in her ears still to this day. “What the fuck, Piper! That’s not funny! I was scared you were gonna kill me!” She hissed this low and under her voice as she clutched her arm. Small rivets of blood ran down her pale skin.

“Audrey live a little, geeze,” Piper stated as she flipped her long brown hair much like Emma did when she didn’t really think about it. It made Audrey think of a shampoo commercial. “What the fuck are you doing with the mask? And dressed like that! There’s a real killer on the -- loose--- ” Her words were starting to die in her throat.

She could see Piper’s visible irritation and also the gaff of a mocking laugh, “Yeah, I fucking know, Audrey.” The slow pronunciation of her name brought chills to her spine. The cold knowledge of suddenly putting everything together set in and Audrey felt the itch in her throat she hated so much. “Y-y-you lied to me--?”

She hated the shrill sound of her voice as it turned to anger, “You bitch!” The teen froze when she heard shouting. Her first instinct was to protect anyone else from harm and her head shot to the left. When she turned back, Piper was gone before Audrey could give the bitch a piece of her mind.)

Whenever Audrey fell asleep, she dealt with the dark dreams. She would never be fully rid of the guilt. She would always carry it with her like the key around her neck. It was humbling and grounding. She ran her fingers over her chain as she glanced at her watch.

It was almost nine and the sky was dark.

She took in a deep breath through her nose and the cool air had turned sharp in her lungs. Louisiana had always been less industrial then the east and west coast. That was probably why the gulf had always been her favorite. She wiped at her tired pale eyes and glanced at the house. It was still vacant. Her tongue swiped out to taste the scab on her lip as she debated staying the night at the Crescent Palms hotel.

Did the place even exist still? The question suddenly seemed more realistic when she realized that her house had been unoccupied for a few years. She leaned over to turn on the GPS and the headlights of an oncoming car blinded her. The GPS page presented her several options for hotels in the area.

A hard knock on the jeep’s metal jolted her nearly out of her seat.

“Audrey?”

Brooke had changed so much since she had last seen her, yet not at all. She still had the biggest, saddest eyes she had ever seen. Like someone had really gone and broken her heart. Audrey opened her mouth to say something. The Maddox princess was as pristine as ever, dressed in white like an angel and she reached out to touch the birth mark on Brooke’s cheek.

She pushed open the jeep door slowly and Brooke made her way around to meet Audrey half way. The blonde in her arms was a little more filled out then she had remembered and she smelled a little more like sandalwood than vanilla, but she made no arguments against the pleasant scents. She felt Brooke squeeze her back harder.

“I-I I thought I was never going to see you again.”

#braudrey #audrey jensen #brooke maddox #braudrey fanfiction #if i need other tags or something i should add #please let me know #sin magia ofelia #brooke*#audrey*

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fishermariawo · 6 years

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Dear Mark: More Embracing Your Wildness

Last week’s Q&A about cultivating wildness was a lot of fun, but there were some questions I didn’t get to in the original post. Today, I’m going to answer some more. From stirring stories of a father and son pursuing and living their dream after experiencing extreme tragedy to how to go barefoot more safely to the balance between creativity, progress, and Primal values to accepting the reality (and beauty) of having work to do to the value of sun exposure in winter to circadian entrainment. In short, we’re covering a ton of ground today.

Let’s go:

First I’m going to include Jonno’s comment, even though it wasn’t a question, for reasons that become obvious once you read it:

Being thought of as a weirdo can be a mark of success. The last thing my wife said to me before she died of cancer was that our then infant son and I should live a free, fit, healthy and fun life, the opposite end of the scale to what society norms dictate and very different to our previous 10 years where we worked every hour to pay for things we didn’t need with which to impress the friends we didn’t have. Watching a loved one die young inspires you to do all in your power to learn how to live an optimum life. So my son and I moved to the other side of the world so that we could maximize our sunshine hours, surf lots in warm, clean water, walk and run barefoot on the beach every morning, sleep outside in fresh air all year and grow our own organic food. Keeping our overheads to a minimum means we don’t have to earn so much money and reduces stress – our living accommodation is very basic and pollutants are minimal. No sprays, no WIFI, no power lines. We home-school so learning is continuous, for both of us! No school means maximum surf time, freethinking, free imagination. Simple but not too simple: LCHF; Intermittent fasting; HIIT; Functional strength. Yes it’s a long and winding road with plenty of pitfalls and yes it takes courage and risks to make a stand and be different but the health and fitness results for both body and mind are fantastic. And yes, everyone thinks we are weirdos!

I mostly wanted to highlight Jonno’s incredible story. There isn’t much more to say about that. Moving on after your wife dies, being present for your child, bearing the suffering and turning it into a positive force in your lives—that’s incredible. You honor not just your late wife, but everyone else as well. Thanks.

Gertch asked:

Calls to simple cleanliness to reduce impediments to creativity and activity are always good. With a large family, I could use hearing them hourly!

There are many posts I haven’t read, but something on working into more barefoot time would be good. Is barefoot good for everyone, or how does one determine if it is not ok for them? Is sock-footed of the same benefit? Is a painful adjustment period normal? etc.

Barefoot is good for most people, but not everyone. There are no absolutes here.

The longer you’ve spent wearing shoes, the longer it’ll take to acclimate your feet. Shoe-wearing (particularly thick-soled, stiff, prominent-heeled shoes) atrophies the musculature and weakens the connective tissue of the foot. It’s like placing your feet in casts—casts that you wear almost all day, every day. Most of us who try barefooting are coming off years of wearing a cast. It just isn’t smart or feasible to immediately launch into full-blown barefootedness.

I have a post from several years ago explaining how to transition to barefoot walking, running, and training.

Socks are fine. They may slightly blunt the proprioceptive feedback you receive from the soles of your feet interacting with the micro-topology of the ground but not enough to make any real difference.

David wondered:

The suggestion to increase the create:consume ratio resonated with me, in part because I think of creativity as a core element of human nature. I am curious how to fit that idea within a primal perspective. On the one hand, there is evidence for very early creative activity among humans and pre-humans, so there are reasons to say that a primal lifestyle is a creative one. On the other hand, civilization seems to be the accumulated product of human creativity, an ongoing movement away from wildness. It’s as if the lifestyle of our ancestors contained the seed of its own undoing.

I like that: “the lifestyle of our ancestors contained the seed of its own undoing.” That’s a fairly common theme with human endeavors. We get so good at things that we go overboard and end up swinging back around to realize our error of overextension. Many religious scholars, for example, propose that Christianity’s focus on truth seeking led to the scientific revolution, the Enlightenment, and the materialist world view that ended up undermining it.

You shouldn’t be concerned though. Primal isn’t about clinging to the past. It’s about going back and sifting through the past for valuable knowledge, wisdom, and hypotheses about diet, fitness, and health—then bringing them with us into the future. And yes, we often butt up against the future as it unfolds, but we also shape it. I’m convinced the ancestral health community is partially responsible for the increased awareness of the dangers of digital addictions, the perils of excessive sitting, the rise of standup desks, and all the other stuff sweeping the high-tech world. That’s not even mentioning the effect we’ve had on the way people think about food and exercise.

Creation isn’t always about bringing tangible objects into the world. There are thousands of ways to be creative, especially given the tools at our disposal.

Besides: The future is happening. We’re here, we’re in it. There’s no escaping it. We might as well try to make the best of it. We certainly shouldn’t make it worse by disengaging and throwing in the towel. That’s no way to live.

Kelli wrote:

Thank you for mentioning a messy house. My house isn’t messy but life gets busy & we spend so much energy cleaning up.

That reminds me of the story of Sisyphus, the guy eternally relegated to pushing a huge boulder up a hill only to have it reach the top and roll down back the other side. Many people reference Sisyphus as a tragic reminder of the utter pointlessness of most human endeavors. I see it differently. I see it as motivational commentary on the undeniable.

Your job is never done. Not as a parent, a citizen, a friend, a lover, an employee, an entrepreneur, a human. There’s always something to be done. That’s why we all have that kernel of discontent simmering within, no matter what we accomplish or how much money we make.

When I’m writing a blog post, I focus entirely on that post. Nothing else exists for those hours I’m writing. When I finish, I’m relieved. But the next day, there’s the blog waiting for me all over again. Back to square one.

If I try to hold on to that relief, it vanishes. I can’t help but worry about the next project hanging over my head—the one I’m trying to ignore and deny. The trick is to not do that. The trick is to accept my responsibility, to willingly embrace it.

I can either accept my fate, the lot in life I’ve built for myself, the fact that my work is never done and there’s always something else to work on, some task to complete. That’s actually a beautiful reality, isn’t it?

Or I can build up to a crescendo of false contentment—”It’s finally over; now I can rest!”—and crash every day when I realize I have to do it all over again.

I’d choose the first option every single time. You should too.

Karen asked:

About getting sunshine in the winter…it’s plenty sunny out there but it’s also cold. (You’ve seen the new work on Vit. D and sulfonation, yes, no?) Do you uncover head and neck, or unwrap legs. Or bravely unwrap arms and legs? Is one better for exposure?

If it’s vitamin D you’re after, it’s really hard to make any appreciable amounts through sun exposure in winter time. Don’t rely on it.

But wait: There’s still a great reason to get outside in the cold sunny weather. Natural light exposure entrains your circadian rhythm—it helps tell your body that it’s daytime, so that the millions of circadian clocks we house in our cells, organs, and tissues know the time.

You know what? Expose your skin to the air anyway. It’s a good way to build cold tolerance and force your body to upregulate its own temperature regulation, which may activate brown fat and improve metabolic health.

Wendy requested:

More on resetting the circadian system, please. I’ve been trying without much luck on mine.

I’ve done a few posts on the various circadian entrainers, but perhaps I’ll do another post in the future summing up everything we’ve learned. It’s a big topic.

Thanks for the idea!

That’s it for today, everyone. Take care and be sure to add your comments or questions down below!

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watsonrodriquezie · 6 years

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Dear Mark: More Embracing Your Wildness

Let’s go:

First I’m going to include Jonno’s comment, even though it wasn’t a question, for reasons that become obvious once you read it:

Gertch asked:

Calls to simple cleanliness to reduce impediments to creativity and activity are always good. With a large family, I could use hearing them hourly!

Barefoot is good for most people, but not everyone. There are no absolutes here.

I have a post from several years ago explaining how to transition to barefoot walking, running, and training.

David wondered:

Creation isn’t always about bringing tangible objects into the world. There are thousands of ways to be creative, especially given the tools at our disposal.

Kelli wrote:

Thank you for mentioning a messy house. My house isn’t messy but life gets busy & we spend so much energy cleaning up.

Or I can build up to a crescendo of false contentment—”It’s finally over; now I can rest!”—and crash every day when I realize I have to do it all over again.

I’d choose the first option every single time. You should too.

Karen asked:

If it’s vitamin D you’re after, it’s really hard to make any appreciable amounts through sun exposure in winter time. Don’t rely on it.

Wendy requested:

More on resetting the circadian system, please. I’ve been trying without much luck on mine.

I’ve done a few posts on the various circadian entrainers, but perhaps I’ll do another post in the future summing up everything we’ve learned. It’s a big topic.

Thanks for the idea!

That’s it for today, everyone. Take care and be sure to add your comments or questions down below!

0 notes

stealstime-blog · 7 years

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