#you dastardly fiends will be felled at my hands like a drake to my sword

[conklin03]

ok i'm sorry but why is everyone so excited about october/halloween/fall like i mean i like fall just as much as the next incoherent and/or deranged poster on this site but like. it's not that special. it's just nice weather. also, like, what the hell do you even do on halloween? trick or treating is usually reserved for children, and even then, it's boring as all hell. i mean, parties i guess?? but you could have a costume party at any time of the year. scary things are scary so. no. and like, october. really? of all months to obsess over you choose this one? granted, it does come just in time to provide reprieve from september (thank god i slept through that whole month) but there are so many better months. november is the epitome of cold fall weather, december is christmas season (so much better than halloween season fight me you spooky ass bitches and/or bastards). january sucks but it has a nice name. february is nicer weather, but still kinda sucks (nice name again though). my birthday is in march so fuck you. april sucks but again, nice name. very blue month. may sucks. completely and entirely may just isn't good. bad number, bad color, mediocre name. june is kind of nice but i hate the summer so it spells the beginning of the end. july can return to the pits of hell that it drags onto the earth once a year. august takes the cake for worst name, and second worst weather. september. just. wake me up when it ends, okay? but at least it has my favorite Not Really A Holiday. october is just. there. boring name, interesting color, kind of good number.