#you ever just be lying there and then realize oh. i'm hyperventilating. lol

[astrologista]

ok, seriously. i’ve been graduated from college for six months and adult life is a joke.

there is literally no time in the day to take care of yourself properly AND do your utmost at work. pick one. i’ve been wondering why suburban americans are always so nuts about “health binges” and going “keto” and 10k runs and kombucha. well, news flash. americans are fucking unhealthy

people drink and smoke like there’s absolutely no tomorrow, so many people are addicted to drugs and painkillers, if you’re lucky enough to avoid mcdonald’s and other artery-clogging delicious fast food, you end up only having enough time to heat up a disgusting tv dinner in the microwave. if you want to work out or “jog”, you better be up at 4:00 every day to make time before you have to leave for work.

i’ve done the math and for me to be both healthy and put in full hours at work, plus overtime when needed, i’d have just a few hours or even less in order to do anything fun at all. i understand now why people get pissed in traffic, because it’s just more of your precious time wasted sitting in traffic. time that could be spent repairing your frazzled nerves.

i can understand why people want to move away from urban/suburban areas and just live a subsistence lifestyle on a farm or something. i don’t think i could handle it, as i’ve been raised in a moderately big city and the idea of not having modern conveniences and good medical care nearby is rather off-putting to me.

but, really. it’s such a joke how much of a push there is nowadays for people to “make healthy choices”. you can’t make healthy choices when you’re forced to wake up at a certain hour, slog your way to your office, forced into social interactions that physically drain most introverts (look it up), then you have no choice but to work overtime in order to complete the work you were supposed to do during the day but were interrupted by people talking to you / at you, and by the time you finally see the sun again, it’s almost set and you’re on your way home to collapse into bed. only to do the entire thing again the next day

there aren’t even jobs for things that people want to do. what if you want to work on games, the arts, writing fiction? even those who get jobs doing that put in crushing hours, and you’re likely to end up having to work on something like minions to get a foot in the industry. very precious few people get the privilege to create and work on their own IPs, and for the rest of those out there, you would have to get a second job in retail hell to support yourself financially, unless of course you have rich parents, in which case, bless your little heart and can we trade lives for a few decades please.

in the remaining time you do get for yourself, you have to quickly slap together meals that are bad for you and usually taste bad. rather than taking all day to cook something elaborate, you will inevitably order in and it costs like $20 plus tip. good luck learning to cook after working all day. what a joke.

not to mention the very idea of owning an entire house, having to clean and maintain said house and lawn, running errands, shopping for groceries, remembering which bills you have to pay manually...

and if you’re a woman, you better take the time to make sure you look presentable at work. which means waking up an hour earlier than you would like to slap on makeup and ensure your outfit is spotless. and for those of you with naturally curly or wavy hair, well... good luck finding time to sort that out, because only stick-straight hair looks professional i guess

what money you do get from a job goes straight to fucking bills and debt.

there is no time to maintain relationships with friends and family outside of holidays. much less to make new friends. how people can maintain a relationship and have children (some people have more than one child????) is absolutely a mind blower. not to mention making sure your pets are well cared for, it’s something that can’t be neglected.

there is no time to do volunteer work and outreach, i wish i could say there was. there is no time to join a club, take a class, make a personal project. hobbies are dead - crafting, painting, even watching netflix. it’s all kind of out the window, except for precious weekends which are basically two days of sleeping.

people need uninterrupted leisure time. hours of it. days worth, to make up for days spent at work. we need vacations and breaks to calm our minds and keep us mentally healthy. if you’re an introvert you need sleep and you need time by yourself just to be yourself - no makeup if you don’t want, comfy clothes, no demands, no interruptions, do anything you want to do, or just do nothing at all. and even hours isn’t enough. you need at least a whole day, maybe two or three in a row. and sometimes you can’t get that.

people need time to learn new things, to travel, to meet new people, to work on art projects and learn new skills. there is so much more to life than just living to work, infinite things you can do (or not do) with each given day.

it’s hard not to burn out. because the demands on us are greater than ever. i haven’t had time to go to church anymore for a long time. i pray while commuting, just in my mind.

sometimes, it just feels like i’ll never have the life i want. never enough time, enough money. i’ll never look right, or finish that game i want to build, or find the people i want to be with, never have a job i love, with enough pay or benefits. i’ll never travel to that place or have time to read that book series.

i recommend that each day, everyone remember that you don’t have to do any of it. executive dysfunction is real but sometimes, when your body’s telling you to rest, you need to rest and that’s real, too. you can take a day off from work. you can reschedule a date or appointment. you can say “i’ll do it later”. if you have to do it, just do the most important part and be done with it. time is very important. take the time you need, do stuff for you, even if it means staring at the wall for two hours. this is not and will never be a waste of time.

everything you do, even working a shitty job, is improving you. change will happen, and everything is temporary. if you’re liking your life, enjoy it. if you’re not, it will change. you will change. some things will be better and others worse. just let it go, because most of it is out of your control. you are doing your best, and that’s all that really matters here

[everyhowlmarksthedead]

the lift.

STEVE ROGERS. MARVEL. ┃ USEFUL LINKS.

❝ request by anon: Girl I love that we must watch all the same things because your masterlist is heaven!! I love all the characters lol Can I request an imagine for reader x Steve Rogers where the reader is an avenger but her and Bucky are super close where everyone thinks they’re together, but it’s platonic. Reader and Steve have massive crushes on each other, but are two idiots who don’t realize it. The team has to help hem figure it out?? Or you can switch them around it you want. I love Steve and Bucky equally 🤷‍♀️

❝ request by anon: Hey girl! Awww yah! Requests are open 🎉 Can I request something for Steve Rogers? Maybe a prompt of “You came to my room at 4am...to cuddle?" I’m a sucker for Steve so honestly anything you write is fine 😅

❝ words: about 1k.

❝ a / n: don’t forget to comment and reblog if you liked it, i’d really appreciate it!

“This is a bad idea, sir”.

The metallic voice from F.R.I.D.A.Y. speaks throughout the living room. Even she knows that locking you and Steven inside the lift isn't going to help you to realize what you feel for each other.

“Sh…” Stark utters before taking a sip from his glass of whisky.

All the Avengers are there. Natasha has made popcorn to share with Bruce, while Pepper is trying to persuade his husband to stop, asking Bucky for help. But he just shrugs in her direction.

“Do you have plans for tonight?” The captain asks resting his waist against the railing, placing his hands there too.

“Nope. I think I'm just… gonna order some food and have a quiet night”. You shake your head, holding a S.H.I.E.L.D. file closer to your chest. “Why? You have another option?”

“Nope”. He imitates you with a soft grimace, almost giggling. “Sounds good to me, ma'am”.

“Oh, so, will I be blessed with your presence, Capta—”.

You can't finish the joke when the lift shakes slightly by stopping. A loud roar turns the lights inside red. Steve walks to the control, hitting every button on it as if this gesture could make it work again. And you're starting to sweat. You have claustrophobia and suddenly these four walls feel too close to each other. Like, really close.

“F.R.I.D.A.Y.?” He exclaims once and again before turning at you, hyperventilating sitting on the floor. “Hey, hey, hey! Are you okay?”

“I ca— I can't breathe, Steve”. You barely babble.

“Okay, okay, don't panic. It's okay”. Keeping as much calm as he can, the soldier removes the file from your hands to take off your jacket.

“Let the lift fall a little”. Tony casually pronounces the command to his A.I., making everyone in the room turn at him.

The lift falls a little. And the whole damn city can hear you screaming. Steve is on the verge of his nerves, standing up to try to force the doors and open them. You may be somewhere between the twentieth and the twenty-first floor. But they feel like both are hermetically closed.

“Hello? Anybody hear us?” The Captain screams from the bottom of his lungs, palming and hitting the walls.

“God, I'm gonna die”. You whisper in tears, causing your friend to kneel again close to you.

He doesn't doubt taking you into his strong arms, maneuvering to sit on the floor and put you onto his laps, tightly wrapping you against his chest. Steve rocks you, wanting you to calm down and to not think where you are, nor what's happening. He has protected and comforted you before, but this time where not even F.R.I.D.A.Y. is responding, you know it's the end. And you don't want to die in silence.

“I love you”. You sob, hiding your face under his jaw, gripping your fingers in his shirt.

He laughs quietly, leaving a kiss on top of your head. “I love you too”.

He hasn't understood you.

“I love you, Steve”. You repeat the confession. “I don't wan— wanna… die without telling you”.

“Don't be dramatic”. He scoffs, not replying to what you have just said.

Stark never thought it wouldn't happen this fast, but now, everybody is celebrating your revelation.

“Can you, for the love of God, take them out of there?" Pepper almost begs, knowing how bad do you feel in closed spaces.

“Just… one minute else”.

The excuse they gave you both was that they were training and minding their own business. But the A.I. is everywhere, so at least you don't believe them. And you can't stop thinking about what you told Steve. He hasn't acted weird after it, probably imagining it has been part of the moment. But it's not.

Getting up from your bed, not being able to sleep, you tour the long hallways to his dorm. Taking a deep breath as you notice the light under the door, you come closer to knock it. Walking inside and closing the room behind your back, you rest it against the iron door. The soldier is lying on his mattress, reading a book about Sherlock Holmes. But the story is left in the background when he raises his eyes towards you and a funny grimace appears on his face.

“You came to my room at fou—”.

“I was serious”. You interrupt him with a firm tone. Swallowing, you close your eyes to find the encouragement to repeat your words somehow. “I'm in love with you, Steve. Ever since”.

His gesture suddenly disappears, causing you to tremble a little. But before you can continue speaking, he tosses the sheets by his side over him to palm the bed. In silence, you walk straight to it slowly, hesitating. As soon as his arms can surround you, he pushes you onto his chest, tucking you there. He didn't believe the excuse Stark gave you either. It wasn't a coincidence.

“I love you too”. He whispers, not like a secret, but only wanting you to hear his —surprisedly— honeyed voice. “I can't even explain what you make me feel, but you complete me in the most perfect way. And I was good being your friend. I can't anymore now”.

Steve is aware he doesn't need vocal permission to kiss you, bringing his lips to yours. You don't hold back a soft sigh, leaving a hand on his chest and landing the other on his neck. At first, you don't have any rush. You take your time tasting each other's lips until he finds your tongue with his and something explodes within your guts. Soon the two of you are breathless, needed for more, pawing and exploring your anatomies under your clothes.

“I want to make you mine”. The soldier growls against your mouth, settling himself between your legs to shorten any kind of distance, losing the shame that still characterizes him sometimes.

“And, what are you waiting for, Captain?” You gasp tangling your fingers into the golden locks of hair.

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