#i just realized most things are simply unnecessary

[artdolliewishes]

Imagine female Yuu having to cross dress to avoid unnecessary trouble at NRC and Idia finds out through Ortho. Because I can see Ortho finding out if Yuu ever got a minor injury and he was around to play nurse, knowing him he’d do a quick full body scan and find a very high amount of estrogen in her system.

And he blabs to Idia because he’s a snitch who doesn’t keep anything from his brother; if you tell a secret to him, you’re basically telling it to them.

Once Idia finds out, his mind INSTANTLY goes to those otome games and fanfics and gacha life videos about a girl in all boys school. He always thought those were just fun fantasies, but upon seeing that exact scenario happening in real life he becomes curious.

Prior to this, Idia probably wouldn’t think much about Yuu. To him, she was just the odd magicless guy his brother would occasionally run into; the most interesting thing about her was her cat, in his eyes. But now that he knows about her secret, he becomes heavily invested in her school life, he wants to see how this is going to turn out.

He doesn’t exactly stalk Yuu, it’s not like he’s putting cameras in Ramshackle or listening devices in her bag, it’s more like he just pays extra close attention to her when he has the chance, such as during joint classes and lunch. And since Ortho and her are on amicable terms, he encourages Ortho to spill any gossip he learns when around her.

To Idia’s surprise and delight, things end up matching up almost perfectly with what he’s come to expect from these kinds of plots. The ones close to Yuu, who seem to be privy to her secret from what he’s gathered, are all either falling in love or have already been in love. They’re extra protective of her, they’re affectionate and soft with her, and they get jealous when she gives too much of her attention to any one of them.

Idia knows about the overblot incidents, so of course he’d see the pattern in who starts getting closer. Every time someone overblots, Yuu will be there to help and both the overblotter and some other select people in their dorm will begin to fall. It’s a classic pattern.

At this point, Idia would simply see himself as an observer peeking in on this story and, therefore, he can’t be affected by Yuu. He’s not a love target in her story, he’s a side character.

It doesn’t matter that he’s occasionally run in with Yuu and each time he has she’s been a true friend to an introvert like him by making his anxious ass feel comfortable. It doesn’t matter because he’s aware of what’s happening and thus he can’t be affected.

But then he also overblots, and just like before she was there to help pick up the pieces. After that they ended up talking and Idia gets to know more about Yuu, more than he could learn by just observing.

Before long, he’s actually looking forward to seeing her again, to nerding out about his favorite anime’s with her in person because she’s always such a good listener. He’s looking at his manga and game collections and thinking about what she would like.

Idia doesn’t even realize his hearts been skipping beats when she’s around until one day when he’s in class and she walks in. Like a dog hearing their owner walk through the front door, his gaze shoots up and instantly that class gets fifty times more bearable with her around.

…And then he looks around and every other “main character” has had the same reaction.

Which means that he’s also a captured love target, just like them…

Oh how the turn tables for a dating sim loving nerd like himself

[love44lew]

what turns them on/off

彡drivers lewis hamilton, max verstappen, charles leclerc, sebastian vettel, jenson button

彡genre hcs/scenarios

彡summary what gets their wheels spinning and what makes ‘em dnf ★

彡notes i apologize for the wait my loves i didn’t want any of these to feel rushed </3 thank you for 100 followers ❤️❤️

彡warnings sexual content

————-꧁🪼🦈🐋🐬🦭꧂-————

lewis

pleasuring you lewis loves to satisfy the people he loves. getting them gifts, compliments, paying the bill for any meal, you name it. as long as his special ones are happy, hes happy. so in bed you can expect those same things to apply. he gets pleasure from pleasuring you, he loves it. he enjoys seeing you trembling, blushing and fucked out more than his own pleasure. thats why his favorite thing to do is eat you out. and by life itself, this man can EAT!! its almost like your pussy put a spell on him he gets so lost in the sauce. you physically have to push him off to make him stop and by that time your legs are already shaking. he really touches the ocean floor if you know what i mean!! and the d is fire!! and it will put you to sleep. lewis loves being your personal melatonin.

meaningless sex when lewis was single and needed some pleasure every once in a while, he would just go on raya or hit up one of the six trillion girls who wanted him. he wasn’t satisfied with living that way. lewis is a lover not a player. he’s been through a lot of stuff to make him this way and he learned this the hard way through his late twenties and early thirties. born to be a lover, forced to be a hoe !! fortunately though, he met you and looking back on it, he’s realized how much he hated the shallowness of it all. lewis craves for deep meaningful connections and just having sex with random women didn’t fill that hole in his heart. he had to relearn the true meaning of sex and how magical and special such an experience can be. you helped him rediscover this important aspect of his life and it feels great. being with you has definitely taught him quality over quantity.

max

loss of senses max needs to see you, so darkness is a no no. plus, more unnecessary risk of hurting yourselves. he loves the sound of your voice, weather its your moaning and whining as he works your body in every way you enjoy or its just you rambling about your day while running your soft fingers through his thin silky hair. max needs the stimulation of sight and sound to get himself going. “let me hear you” he’ll whisper into your ear

this may be why he loves his mirrors !! the only solution to this issue is to just fuck u in front of a mirror. most men love to do that for their own pleasure but the only thing max is looking at while fucking you in front of a mirror is the way your face twitches, contorts, and relaxes with every thrust. the way your doe eyes roll back and cross, further showing to him how good he fucks you. he picks you up by your neck forcing you to straighten your back as he whispers sweet praise into your ear. “you look so pretty like this baby” “you want me to keep doing that gorgeous?” “uhuh im fucking you good baby” your legs twitch every time his sweet voice sings into your ear telling you everything you need to hear.

charles

charles loves to see you in lace, latex, and silk. the way the latex hugs your figure so beautifully makes you almost look naked. weather its black, beige, white, or print he loves when you look all sexy just for him. silk is almost like maternal for him. as much as he loves to see your curves he also loves the look of ‘sheets after sex’ the open back with the jewelry and the flowy trim, he loves it. it simply just makes him want to imagine you bloated with your shared creation but still keeping your elegance and beauty along with it. the look of silk makes your skin glow like the sun and you simply look like a greek goddess in his eyes. the beautiful custom embroidery that revolves around your every curve when you wear lace is unmatched. he loves that it shows just enough that he can imagine what hes already seen but also covers enough that others cant. the sexy elegant vibe of lace changes your aura enough to make him want to eat you out through your thin panties. your beautiful skin covered by a thin soft custom embroidery made just for him makes his mind go wild.

waiting charles is very impatient when it comes to his pleasure. weather its the pleasure of winning or reaching tip of his climax so good that he’ll just want to fall asleep after, he’ll work hard to make sure he gets there, for you too. sure, he can do foreplay but only for a certain amount of time until he begins to bore. ‘lets get to the good stuff already’ ((sass)) charles is a gentleman, so he will make sure you finish before him. plus, he has amazing stamina, so don’t feel rushed to reach your climax, he can wait for that. sometimes he’ll slow down just to watch you overstimulate for a little bit longer, just until you start fussing before going rough and slow, just how u like it. “whats wrong mon cœr? don’t you like it slow?” “ahh you want it harder.. yeah, just like that.”

sebastian

cuddling (smirk) the bed creaks as seb adjusts himself to face your back swinging an arm over your waist and the other snaked around your neck. “good morning, der liebling” he greeted in his raspy low morning tone, planting soft kisses on your cheek and shoulder. you turned your head to catch his lips. “good morning sunshine” you teased his nickname. he rolled his eyes, a smirk tugging his lips. he kissed your nose before diving back onto your lips, his hand now squeezing and caressing your waist and hip. you scooted back, carefully grinding your rear on his front. his hand stuck on your hip while his other now holding your neck. you continued grinding your ass back on him. little moans and purrs escaping between kisses.

full attention its important that you fully engage with seb while having relations. if you seem at all uninterested in what you’re doing he simply wont have the means to do anything anymore. its important to always make sure you’re not holding back when it comes to him. he loves when your hands are anywhere they can find groping or caressing his skin as hes burried deep in your core. he needs to feel extra wanted every time. “touch me” he whispers into your ear as he slowly inserts himself. the extra sensory makes him go wild as he resists cumming after just a couple strokes. your nails lightly scratching circles into his scalp as he’s pressing your knees into the cushion below. even when hes fucking you from behind you always reach a hand over to run down his chest and abs and make eye contact as you match his thrust rhythm.

(i might add jenson in the future but im trying to get this out for you guys asap!!)

—-

dm for tags!! plz request more ideas ❤️

[oxymorayuri]

❞𝐓𝐡𝐞 𝐛𝐨𝐲𝐬 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐦𝐚𝐫𝐫𝐢𝐚𝐠𝐞❝

Headcanons with my favorite boyssss [ Ace | Kid | Law | Doffy ] Wordcount » 1234 (lol no way... you see it? 1234...) Info » just cute things ;3

𝐀𝐑𝐓𝐈𝐒𝐓: Ace: qmech | Kid: skxviii | Law: oyasumi_mofu | Doffy: Hijiki_DaiXt

��𝑜𝑟𝑡𝑔𝑎𝑠 𝐷. 𝐴𝑐𝑒

You both get partner tattoos instead of wedding rings but not something lame like a circle around the ring finger rather something small and personal. You have a little flame on the side of your thigh and he has one on his chest that has something to do with you. Maybe you have a devil fruit or a special weapon? It's up to you :p

You never thought you'd cry at your wedding ceremony because Ace let the most beautiful vows EVER leave his lips. His words were typically Ace and in between your tears he made you laugh. You were almost ashamed when it was your turn because you just wanted to repeat a sentence he once said to you but you changed it a bit… "I'm not interested in living a thousand years, it's enough for me to survive today with you." You spoke. Ace recognized the words immediately and remembered the conversation you shared in the past with a broad grin. He almost yanked you to him and kissed your lips even though the priest hadn't even given his blessing yet. But he doesn't care, he doesn't need the priest's blessings when he has you.

He definitely had his own thoughts about the wedding. For example, he has looked into various traditions… but it seems like he got something wrong… Instead of carrying you bridal style over the doorstep, he carried you all day. As soon as you set foot on the floor to get a new drink, he picked you up in his arms. His statement? "Come on love, when will I have the chance to carry you in your wedding dress again?". Okay that's smooth.

𝐸𝑢𝑠𝑡𝑎𝑠𝑠 𝐾𝑖𝑑

Kid probably would never have proposed to you on his own. You've been together for so long now and every time you've seen a married couple your mood has soured. You were annoyed and also disgusted and one day Killer asked you about it and in the conversation you ironically realized that you also wanted to get married lol… when you were with Kid in his workshop you casually mentioned, that you thought it would be a good idea for the two of you to get married as he was working on one of his new creations. He froze at the word marriage and the next second his machine caught fire because he held the welding rod on it for too long. You both panicked and put out the fire and you realized that he found the topic unpleasant and unnecessary, but you are you and you get everything you want, even if you have to force him! Luckily for you, Killer told you that Kid likes the idea of you committing to him forever, but pshht… otherwise Killer will lose his life.

He will send you away if you want to ask him something about the wedding planning or want his opinion. He'll just tell you that you can do whatever you think is necessary (ugh). You think it's a bit of a shame but you don't mind, you just want him to feel comfortable at his own wedding. After all, it's not just yours. But if it were up to him, he would simply put the ring on your finger and seal your marriage with a big smooch on the lips. But later in the evening you notice that he has circled options he likes or left little notes on your wedding plans and that's when you know you're marrying the right one.

he forges your rings and is quite proud of his work, but secretly nags Killer that he is unsure whether you like the rings. When he saw the sparkle in your eyes and heard your words about how much you love the rings, his heart stopped for a moment only to beat extremely fast. He wanted to marry you right on the spot, but he knows how much love you put into the planning. Happy wife happy life lol.

𝑇𝑟𝑎𝑓𝑎𝑙𝑔𝑎𝑟 𝐷. 𝑊𝑎𝑡𝑒𝑟 𝐿𝑎𝑤

A grand wedding with everyone (including the straw hats etc.) is planned, but he has other plans and takes you to the most romantic place to have a wedding ceremony just for the two of you. The party can still take place afterwards with everyone, you are a little social butterfly after all, but the wedding ceremony? That's between you and him <3

Law, similar to Ace, would want partner tattoos instead of real rings but rather in an intimate place where only both of you will see it… if you know what I mean ;) It's safe to say he'll shower your tattoo with kisses everytime when you're getting busy.

He has already seen you (without you knowing it) in your wedding dress. He knew exactly what was going on when you waltzed happily past him with a big package... And even if he hesitated for a moment, he followed you discreetly like a pretty good stalker… He peered through the gap of the door to the room you shared. You were apparently so excited that you hadn't even closed the door. He heard you squealing happily in the bathroom and without really realizing it, he held his breath until you came out of the bathroom. And then you stood there in your beautiful white dress. The feeling in his chest increased rapidly as he watched you twirl in front of the mirror like a princess. Your laughter makes him grin… "I guess she's just as happy as I am that we're getting married..." he thought to himself with a satisfied expression as he let go of the door and walked away. He leaves you a little moment for yourself and your joy, he'll see you walking towards him soon anyway. He is pretty sure that he will never forget that moment. The sight of you walking towards him will be engraved in his brain.

𝐷𝑜𝑛𝑞𝑢𝑖𝑥𝑜𝑡𝑒 𝐷𝑜𝑓𝑙𝑎𝑚𝑖𝑛𝑔𝑜

You want fireworks that paint your faces in the sky? A thousand white doves that are released when you kiss? A 10 meter high chocolate fountain? A wedding in pink? No problem. Your list is long and you get everything you want. Doflamingo will put together the perfect team to fulfill your every wish. Money doesn't matter, but you do.

You get a ring with a gemstone you've never seen before. Even if you express your doubts that you are afraid of losing this precious ring, Doffy reacts almost insulted. You are the rarest and most valuable gemstone in the world. If you lose the ring, he'll have a new one before you know it.

It's going to be a big big wedding BUT not many people are invited because there's a chance of someone ruining it. Whoever is invited is a big figure or part of the family. Everything is secured but not in an oppressive way. It all plays in the background, because if there were security guards everywhere it would ruin your perfect wedding picture. Nobody is allowed to ruin this day for you and him and if they do, they will pay for it. He also has the wedding broadcast live on TV so that everyone can see that he's marrying the most beautiful woman in the world. How extra.

Masterlist

I hope you enjoyed reading it. See you next time <3

𝑾𝒊𝒕𝒉 𝒍𝒐𝒗𝒆, 𝒚𝒐𝒖𝒓 𝒚𝒖𝒓𝒊 ♡

[getonite]

(𝟎.𝟗𝐊+) 𝐌𝐒𝐆: (OH) I DON'T GET IT, YOUR THE ONLY THING THAT I LOVE

ayanokoji kiyotaka/fem,reader ; no prns r stated, however, through desc it feels like it was meant for fem readers, kissing, cringe confession, 'ask what it means + realization' trope, reader finessing a kiss from him, + me heavily projecting my aroaceness on him.

despite his percieved outward appearance and demeanor, ayanokoji's mind is quite different. he has some semblance of the ability to feel, though he can't outwardly express it. he doesn't and has never craved human warmth or affection since his infancy.

its unnecessary, there's simply no place for it in his life. though, there are times where he wishes he could feel what others do, where he could smile like others do.

though no one has ever prompted him to start that journey. not kushida, not horikita, not even karuizawa. he wonders if he'll forever remain behind the doors of those polished white walls. that is until he feels the warmth of your hand on his arm.

those dehumanizing walls of class where he was observed like a lab rat remain fresh in his head.

reminders that his father would do anything to get his most successful product back in his grasp.

though when you give him that sweet dimpled smile he pushes it to the back of his head. never forgetting, though still on the forefront of his mind.

when you stand on the tips of your toes to reach his height, releasing him that cute little giggle. he can't help but give in . . . just a little. after all, how could he stand on his word when the person he's against is too pretty.

despite how intelligent he is, he can't seem to pick up that he feels diffrent towards you.

the reality of differential feelings towards others was a bit foreign. even when he stepped into the social atmosphere of high school, his view didn't quite change. no matter the girl, no matter the boy, he felt the same.

until you whispered the nickname you made up for him. “kiyoookoji!” in your cute tone, you dragged out the beginning of his name, to end it with the end of his last name. he finds it a bit cute? that you've crafted a nickname for him.

one only you are allowed to use.

nothing changed until you ( forcibly ), dragged him to your dorm and happily explained the anime he had missed out on during his previous 16 years.

kiyotaka ayanokoji hadn't quite realized how he felt, despite the way he leaned in closer to hear you better. despite when his eyes immediately snap to your form. despite the wave of warmth he felt when you hugged his arm, cheek pressed to his shoulder as you look up at him with those pretty doe eyes.

“kiyoooo-o!” you smile and drag his name out per usual. your body is tilted towards his as you lean on the rail of the cruise balcony.

it was another island exam, not very surprising.

though the luxury, the beautiful seas, and the atmosphere is something you could never get over. “hm?”

“whatcha thinkin’ bout?” you smirk and lean in, “im guessing that's your thinking face considering ive never seen you frown like that . . . or ever” normally, people would smile at your teasing, though in his mind he wants to, his lips don't move.

“can i ask you something?”

“course, what is it?”

“. . . i think im feeling something, towards someone.”

“oh?” intrigue fills you, “do tell.”

“. . . something about them is different. i feel different when im near them, like im letting my guard down instinctually. i want them.”

you hum, a finger playfully tapping against your chin. “diffrent? how?”

“like . . . i feel warm around them. they grab my attention whenever they walk in. and i like listening to them. no matter how ridiculous it sounds. i just think it's—i feel different around them. and i don't know if i want it to stop . . . i think i do?”

ayanokoji's eyes drift to you. his eyebrow raises slightly. “what?”

“kiyo,” you smile, “you've developed a crush. normal people get that all the time.”

“huh,” he mumbles.

“care to tell me who's caught your eye? i wanna know what your type is,” you tease and lean towards him.

ayanokoji feels a sense of amusement at your actions. he takes a breath before looking at you, his eyes locked on yours. “your smart, i think you already know the answer to that question,” he whispers.

your lips twitch into a smile, “cute.”

you hum and stand up straight, taking steps to be right in front of him. “would you care to test my theory?” you smirk, mischief in those pretty eyes he loves to drown in.

“and how would we do that?”

“kiss,” you whisper and stand on the tips of your toes, your lips hovering over his. you feel his breath against your lips and you lock eyes with him once more. “care to tr—”

before you can finish your words, his hand finds purchase on your hip and he presses his lips to yours. his eyes flutter closed as he takes in the feeling he gets from you. your voice, your smile, your touches.

after a moment he breaks away, his hand lingering on your hip. his eyes open and looks into your eyes, not uttering a word.

. . .

“wellllll, was i right?”

he presses his lips to yours once again, holding you a bit closer this time. you chuckle and cup the side of his face. you break away, only for him to lean in for another.

“hey you,” you whisper, causing him to pause, “that's a lot of kissing for someone who isn't my boyfriend.”

ayanokoji's lips twitch at your words, “then would you date me?”

a hum leaves your lips. your eyes travel to his, your thumb running along his bottom lip. a smile grows on your face. “since you asked so nicely, yes.”

[cosmicluci]

Here’s something in Acolyte I was thinking about: the little switch at the end.

For most of the series, the show (mis)leads you to think Osha is the “good”/“light side” twin, and Mae is the “bad”/“dark side” twin.

At the end, of course, they switch very clearly, with Osha wanting to have Sol be made responsible, but not so much in a blind revenge sort of way and Mae killing him and full-on bleeding his crystal. And of course there’s the visual switch, with Mae in Osha’s old lighter-colored clothes and Osha now in a darker, hooded, grey outfit.

But the best part is…it was all there from the start. Osha was always more impulsive. Mae was more forgiving. And Mae is shown to have set the fire accidentally, feel instant regret, and go look for help. Osha tried to shoot Mae when she found out she was alive, while Mae instantly realized her whole revenge shit was pointless and unnecessary, and just fucking stopped and went to try and patch things up. Mae couldn’t even kill properly, and looked supremely uncomfortable doing her silly “attack me with all your strength” bit. Meanwhile Osha shot at Mae almost without hesitation and killed Sol with uncaring determination. Finally, we also know Osha couldn’t make it as a Jedi, and were told from the start it was because of her anger and resentment. And we see in the show Mae really wasn’t cut out for Sith stuff either, because she simply didn’t have enough rage, and all she wanted was to have the Jedi who killed her mothers be made responsible.

It’s an imperfect show, and I really loved it. And this bit was really well done, I think. So I just wanted to talk about it.

[meo-eiru]

I apologize in advance for any mistakes (English is not my first language) BUT I JUST CAN'T! I can't stop thinking about how exactly the main character will end up completely dependent on Father Micah. If elves, dark magic, incubi and other creatures exist in this world, I would venture to suggest that possession by demons or other evil spirits is also a known phenomenon.

Just imagine a situation in which the main character is forced to attend church because she realizes that something is wrong with her perception of reality. It all starts small - insomnia, minor auditory hallucinations, which can easily be attributed to general fatigue from work or school. She can try to self-diagnose and self-medicate, but there is practically no effect.

Disjointed and disturbing dreams give way to nightmares, auditory hallucinations become more unbearable and are now accompanied by visual distortions as well. Any sane person in such situation will rush to a psychologist (more likely even a psychiatrist), but the treatment doesn't give the desired results. Her relatives are very worried and concerned; someone from a more devout background may advise turning to the clergy - and Father Micah is simply an excellent candidate to help this poor unfortunate soul. If she really feels better after each visit, then she'll come back again and again. Just to not lose her damn mind.

But what if Father Micah is the root cause of her condition? If he's not as pure and holy as he seems? What if he's the one who made a contract with the entity that is currently ruining her whole life?

He can't keep her in church by force unless there is a good reason, but even if she'll try to stay away, her condition will deteriorate so much that she WILL inevitably attack someone close to her at some point, mistaking them for Father Micah or that entity due to hallucinations. And SHE WILL have to return back if she doesn't want end up accidentally taking the life of someone from her inner circle. But even if she'll refuse to do so voluntarily, her dangerous condition is in any case a good reason to forcibly isolate her from the others.

And I doubt Father Micah is interested in fully exorcising her.

Oh god I love this scenario.

So I don't think Micah would actually make contracts with evil entities to curse you, but he would make you believe you were cursed. I can definitely seem him drugging you small dosages by giving you small snacks whenever you visit the church or run into him by "chance". He'd always play it off as a gift from the church or some leftovers from what they made for the orphans.

You wouldn't suspect him at all. Why would you? He's THE Father Micah. The beloved angel of the town since he was a kid. No human has seen him do evil deeds.

He would know exactly when the drugs kick in and when they are the most effective, and he would always be there at the right time. Talking to you, making you believe it's unnecessary to see a doctor for such mild sickness. Surely it'll get better if you pray.

It's not getting better even after praying? Maybe it was more serious than Micah expected, but worry not, he knows just the right thing to do. You just have to come to his house so he can bless you with his personal prayers. Why not at the church? Haha you wouldn't want to bother everyone there for such a trivial issue right? Don't worry, Micah will give you special treatment in his house, just trust him.

And trust you will, because everyone knows if there's someone you shouldn't fear it's Father Micah.

[colonelarr0w]

Promised Protector

Sypnosis - When a particularly pushy Araj begins to make Astarion revert to a past self that he had been trying so desperately to grow from, it leaves you to step in. It leaves Astarion with a small realization -- you did care for him, really truly cared for him.

Warning(s) - mature themes, foul language, mentions of abuse (physical and sexual), Araj being an ass, slightly OOC Astarion

Word Count - 1.8k

A/N - Trying my hand at BG3 fanfiction. I have yet to actually play the game, so I'm going purely based off of the playthroughs of others and random clips that I've found sprinkled around YouTube. I do plan to write more for this little vampiric shit, so y'all can leave requests for him as well!

“Must we be here darling? I’m not rather fond of dungeons with … medieval torture devices.”

You bite back the breathy chuckle in your throat as you continue forward, eyes expertly searching your surroundings to ensure that no creature in the dark would ambush you or Astarion. 

“For a creature that usually prefers the dark, you’re quite the complainer,” you bite back, tilting your head to cast a glance at the vampire over your shoulder. He clicks his tongue against the roof of his mouth, shooting you a warning glare – one that you laugh off. 

“And for a creature as clumsy as yourself, you’re doing quite well in avoiding any potential traps.” Astarion’s eyebrow raises as you now shoot him a glare. His shoulders rise and fall in a nonchalant shrug as he moves to walk in sync with you, scarlet eyes scanning his surroundings before they allow themselves to return to you.

“I am not clumsy. It was one time,” you roll your eyes, continuing forward and clenching your jaw as Astarion dares to chuckle at your side. “Rich coming from the one who threw a tantrum even after I revived him.”

“Darling, need I remind you that you dropped an entire building on my head?” Astarion whips his head to the side to face you, his eyes narrowed now in a pointed glare that only brings a wide smile to your face. In any other situation, he too would have smiled simply at the sight of your own, but your revealed teeth only make his chest twist in faux anger. 

“And need I remind you that it was an accident?” 

“In what world is dropping a building on someone an accident?” Astarion murmurs under his breath, stopping when you do. Your eyes flicker to a figure standing just a few feet in front of you – a drow. 

She turns as your footsteps and Astarion’s become more audible, curiosity painting itself onto your face as you both approach. Her eyebrows raise, and you’re not sure if her expression is one of intrigue. 

“Hello,” you say politely, bowing your head in greeting as the drow eyes you curiously, irises raking over the entirety of your figure before they curiously flicker to peer at Astarion. 

“Araj Obladra, a pleasure,” the drow returns just as politely as you, her head dipping in the same bow that you had offered her. “How nice it is to stand in the presence of a True Soul … and her paled companion.”

Astarion’s eyes roll at the nickname, you catch it just out of the corner of your eye. But you choose to ignore it for the sake of not wanting to stir up any unnecessary drama – you had come to Araj for a reason, after all. 

“I’ve traveled to inquire about your services if you’re willing to provide them,” you explain, already noticing a glint in Araj’s eye. You’re not quite sure what expression it’s meant to convey, but from the way that she shifts from one foot to another, your gut tells you that it may not be the most positive. 

Another thing you notice … how her gaze continuously flickers to Astarion. 

“But of course,” Araj replies without hesitation, angling her body so that it faces Astarion rather than you. Your eyes narrow, brows momentarily pinching together. Just what was she playing at?

“You seem … interested in my pale friend here,” you think aloud, immediately wishing that you could swallow your words the moment that you register both Astarion and Araj’s reactions. 

“It is not every day that one encounters a vampire spawn,” Araj notes, the term bringing a disgusting taste to Astarion’s tongue. His nose scrunches in that same disgust, and for a moment, a flicker of anger dares to flare up within the depths of your chest. “After all, in exchange for blood, I craft potions.”

A hum rumbles in your throat, though you say nothing. Araj continues, choosing to ignore the expression you wear – the anger that you so clearly display. 

“All I truly need is a single drop, and then whatever potion you require … well, I can brew it,” she explains, finally moving from where she stands to circle you and Astarion. It reminds you of a predatory lion, one with slit-like pupils that eyes its prey before promptly pouncing on it. 

“And with the rest of it?” you prompt with a raise of your eyebrow. “My blood, I mean.”

“I shall keep it for myself … other potions need to be crafted, as you well know.”

She steps forward, extending her hand and holding her palm out to you. For a moment, you simply think, pondering whether or not you should even trust the drow – especially considering how her eyes still dared to flicker to Astarion. Why was she so interested in him?

You can sense Astarion’s worry from over your shoulder, the feeling rippling off of him like rolling ocean waves. But even with it, you lay your palm over Araj’s. 

“There, finished,” Araj says, already stepping back from you the moment that your skin comes into contact with her own. Her eyes, once again, meet Astarion’s. 

“And now wh—“

Araj’s attention turns completely now to Astarion, who momentarily falters underneath her gaze. His worry for you morphs silently into disgust directed at the drow. 

“There’s still much to discuss,” Araj comments, a smirk just barely pulling at the corners of her mouth. “Such as your paled companion.”

Astarion glances at you, and in return, he’s met with an expression of suppressed anger and jealousy — that would be a conversation for later, he dictates. 

“He’s a vampire, is he not? Or vampire spawn?” Araj’s eyes wander over Astarion, drifting down his entire body and ignoring the way that his eyes narrow in a glare at her. She turns then back to you, once again choosing to ignore the fury that glints in the depths of your eyes. 

“He belongs to you, am I correct?”

If you weren’t angry before, you were now. Your eyes flicker to Astarion, his expression a mixture of hurt and shock – it was one that you had never seen him wear before, and with the way it made your heart positively crack, you never wanted to see it again. 

“The last I checked, he was his own person,” you turn to Araj angrily, “he does not belong to anyone.” 

Araj bites back the chuckle that threatens to crawl up her throat, lifting a hand in front of her mouth as she laughs breathily into the skin of her palm. Your teeth grind against each other, jaw setting into place as the drow regains herself. 

“Oh, you were serious?” Her eyebrow lifts, the sight of it taking everything in you to not lunge at her and promptly wedge the blade of your dagger into the skin of her neck. “It’s adorable really … if he truly believes you, that is.”

Astarion swears he could hear one of your teeth chip with how roughly you set your jaw into place. His eyes wander down to your hands, taking note of how they clench into white-knuckled fists. Your fingers itch towards the blade in its holster, but you fight the urge to remove it. 

“Does your spawn have a name?” Araj shifts her attention back to Astarion, eyeing him once again. He opens his mouth to speak, but with a speed that feels almost inhuman, you answer for him. 

“His name is Astarion, and if you dare to call him my spawn again, I will surely–”

“Now, now darling!” Astarion’s hand closes around your mouth, palm pressing to your lips as he flashes you a too-sweet smile – hoping to whatever God was above him that you wouldn’t turn your anger onto him and plunge a dagger between his eyebrows. “Let’s be civil, yes?”

You bite back the angered insult that bubbles up in your chest, swallowing your words and settling back on your feet. Astarion nods, slowly removing his hand from your mouth before he turns to Araj.

“It’s been quite the dream of mine, being bit by a vampire … spawn or the like,” Araj explains, her tone taking on an almost dream-like lull. You can already feel the bile rising in your throat.

And it seems that Astarion shares your sentiment, what with the way that his eyebrows raised and his lips curled in that adorable little scowl. 

“I’ll have to decline,” Astarion is quick to answer, shaking his head and taking a tentative step away from Araj, almost as if he’s trying to hide his body behind your own. You allow it, going so far as to then sidestep him and stand protectively in front of him – an action that he smiles gently at. 

“I’ll compensate–”

“He said no, thank you very much,” you butt in, glaring down your nose at the overbearing drow. She falters on her feet for a moment, but just as quickly, she recollects herself. “We’ll be going now.”

You turn on your heel, reaching swiftly for Astarion’s hand before promptly leaving – not once sparing a glance to the disappointed drow over your shoulder. 

< … >

“Darling?” Astarion hesitantly lifts the flap of your tent, ducking beneath it and entering. You hum from where you sit at your desk, tilting your head slightly to show your acknowledgment. “Are you alright? Your lively presence was missed. You left me to deal with … them … on my own.”

You sigh, pinching the bridge of your nose as you turn in your seat to look at Astarion. At the sight of your face, he falters, his expression softening. 

“You’re still upset over that vile drow, aren’t you?”

“Of course I am Astarion!” you rise from your place, throwing your hands up. He flinches, not having expected a violent outburst from you. 

“She … she thought that I had ownership of you! All because of what, the fact that you’re a spawn and not a vampire? The nerve of some creatures disgusts me! I mean honestly–!”

“Darling.”

You pause, head lifting so that your gaze finally meets Astarion’s awaiting gaze. His eyes are soft as they gaze at you, lips turned upward in a smile of equal softness. He approaches you, offering his hands to you – which you take without hesitation. 

“I want you to know that I … appreciate what you did for me today,” Astarion admits quietly, speaking low enough that you could barely hear him. “It has been many years since I was able to choose my own.”

You soften, squeezing at his hands. “Astarion, you deserve to have your own voice. Nobody should be able to control what you do besides … well … you.”

He draws you closer to his chest, arms locking around your waist as his face buries itself into your hair. You chuckle lightly, returning his embrace and laying your face against his shoulder. 

For 200 years, Astarion had never known the sound of his own voice. 

But now?

Now he knew the sound of it, and he knew that it mattered. 

[mostly-marvel-musings]

Officer Stark

A/N: This is for you @ccbsrmsf1 my lovely! I’ve heard you’ve been stressed lately, so here’s an attempt to make you feel better. @nicoline1998enilocin You’re a good friend, my darling. Leave a comment, heart or reblog if you’ve enjoyed the story.

Picture credits: @tonystark-au 🤍

Pairing: Tony Stark x F! Reader

Warnings: 18+ smut & humour.

Word count: 1642

Tony Stark Masterlist

.

You never got pulled over. This was a first.

Sitting in your car, your fingers tapped against the steering wheel in nervousness as you waited for a cop to appear by your window and give you a ticket for overspeeding. In your defense, you were heading home after a terribly long day at work.

Your muscles ached, your head felt like it was about to explode, you were looking forward to soaking your butt in a hot bubble bath. And now you were on the side of the road, waiting for a frickin cop.

A figure approached, got closer and closer to the mirror as you watched, taking a deep breath before looking out the window. Standing outside was the most strikingly good looking cop you had seen in your entire life.

The dark gray uniform hugged his muscles perfectly, a tie fixed to his shirt with a gold pin, a badge adorning his taut chest. He motioned for you to roll down your window, a small smirk appearing on his features as you did. You wished to see his eyes that were hiding behind those aviators, but you were sure they were just as pretty as he was.

Safe to say you had a thing for men in uniforms. And this guy wasn’t helping. At all.

Your heartbeat quickened as he opened his mouth to speak, asking you for your driving license. Watching you fumble only deepened that smirk, like he knew the effect he had on you.

“Did you realize you were driving over the speed limit, ma’am?”

“It’s Y/N.”

Mentally you cursed yourself, feeling heat rush up to your cheeks as your meek little voice reached his ears. Why would you even say that?

“I–I’m sorry, I understand I was. And I’m sorry, officer.” you mumbled, shaking your head.

“It’s Stark.”

Your head snapped up in his direction, an amused smile adorned his handsome features as he lowered his sunglasses just about an inch.

“I’m gonna ask you to step out of your vehicle, Y/N.”

You obeyed at once, and you could swear to God you heard him say ‘good girl’ under his breath, or you imagined it. You weren’t sure given your flustered state.

His walkie beeped and you heard a muffled announcement come through, it was hard to decipher. Also because your eyes were fixated on the way Officer Stark’s lips moved as he held it mere millimeters away from his mouth, the movement also gave you a chance to shamelessly check out his toned arms with veins that popped out.

He was a few steps ahead of you, and your eyes couldn’t help themselves as they wandered shamelessly over his rear. The slate gray pants defined his ass so well you salivated at the thought. He wasn’t too tall, you noticed, but you thought his persona more than made him for his lack of height.

You stood staring at your feet after you reached his car, feeling terrible about how the day had been, and how quickly it went from bad to worse. He scribbled something on a pad, throwing occasional glances your way. Was he checking you out?

The silence stretched long, you grew impatient enough to clear your throat to get his attention.

“Aren’t you going to give me a ticket?” he simply hummed in response, making you frown as you wrapped your arms around yourself, the air was pretty cool out.

“Or I could just arrest you.”

“W-what?”

Of all things that could go wrong today, you weren’t imagining this day to end with you going to jail. You hoped and prayed to God there was another way around it.

“For driving a little over the speed limit? That is highly unnecessary!”

A metal clinking sound reached your ears before you saw Officer Stark take out a pair of handcuffs. He seemed to be having fun watching you all flustered and tense, stepping in your personal space, a little too close, allowing you a whiff of his musky cologne.

“Hands behind your back. Now.”

When you didn’t oblige, he reached around to clasp your wrists together and held them behind your back, his warm breath fanned over your cheek as he clicked the handcuffs in place. You swore as his body deliberately brushed against yours, you felt his bulge against your lower abdomen. As if his presence wasn’t enough to get your panties damp, this little gesture only added fuel to the fire that unfurled deep within your belly.

“Now that’s a good girl.” his eyes raked appreciatively over you, while he grazed his fingers over your waist, leaving a trail of dark, x-rated thoughts in their wake. This certainly took a turn where only your deepest fantasies had gone until today. It was like your brain had turned hazy, unable to think rationally.

“Officer Stark please...” you trailed off.

He clicked his tongue, gently caressing the side of your face and reveling in the way your body reacted to his touch.

“You’d do anything? No. You’ll let me do anything, Miss Y/L/N. Because you’re such a good girl, aren’t you?”

He expected an answer out of you, his coffee brown eyes now revealed that stared intently, swimming with lust. Morals left you as you felt yourself nod in a yes, the last thing you saw was a victorious grin before Officer Stark’s lips descended on yours. Capturing you in a heady mix of want and desire, your resolve melted away.

His grip on you was strong, not that you would run away, you wanted this as much as he did, you were at his mercy. His hands cupped your breasts wantonly, slipping down to undo your pants. A needy moan escaped your lips as his fingers made it past your panties to find you soaked for him.

“What do we have here? You’re so wet, dirty girl. Did you want this to happen?”

His voice sent a thrill down your spine while he teased your wet folds, thumb brushing against your clit occasionally. He nipped at your bottom lip when you remained quiet, withdrawing his fingers slowly.

“Yes! Yes! I wanted this to happen. Touch me, please.” hating how desperate you sounded, you let out a gasp when he rewarded you with two finger that pushed into your slick entrance.

“That’s a good girl.” he murmured against your lips, trailing them down your neck while massaging your walls, stretching you open deliciously. Your hips moved to gain more friction, needy for more as his words and ministrations brought you to the brink of your climax.

It was the kind of pleasure that made you moan out loud, so loud it resounded everywhere. Least bothered about the fact that you were out on the side of a road, handcuffed while being fingered to the most earth-shattering orgasm by a police officer.

“Mmm…” your moan reached Tony’s ears, making him stop in his tracks to look back. Seeing you on your side, still fast asleep with your leg draped over a pillow and hand reaching over to caress the sheets, it piqued his curiosity.

“I’ll be your good girl, officer…” you mumbled, the words garbled but clear enough to make Tony lie back down next to you with a wide grin on his face as you dreamt on, blissfully unaware that your boyfriend was an audience to it all. He felt his cock twitch inside his boxers at the sight of you panting and moaning in your sleep.

With a sudden gasp, your eyes flew open, making you realize it was all a dream. Light sweat clung to your skin as you released the tight grip you had on your sheets. You were met with a smirking Tony Stark who was eyeing you with amusement, waiting for you to get your bearings.

“Someone had a good night’s sleep.”

You felt heat rush up to your face at his words, he probably heard you talk or worse, moan in sleep. The dream had felt too real.

“Now I understand the kind of porn you’re into, what was your safeword?.” he jested, catching the pillow you flung in his direction with a hearty laugh. Your neck felt hot as you groaned into your hands, embarrassed about the whole thing.

“Can we just forget about it please?”

“No way. Tell me more, I wanna know.”

“You were a police officer.” you mumbled, your voice too low and incoherent.

“What?”

“You were a police officer, okay? Happy now?” you shook your head, wanting him to drop the subject, but then again, knowing Tony, he probably wouldn’t.

“Hey I’m just happy it was me. Judging by your moans there, I could tell I was pretty good.” Tony chuckled, grazing a finger up your arm only for you to swat it away.

“Drop it, Tony.” you begged, throwing the sheet off of your legs to get up. You just knew you were in for a whole day of this with your boyfriend, or days.

“Just out of curiosity, what did I arrest you for?” Tony seemed thoroughly entertained by the idea as his eyes bore into yours, mirth swimming in them.

“Overspeeding.” You admitted sheepishly as he chuckled, clearly enjoying this reaction.

“Ironic.” He was amused, given how he wasn’t exactly known for driving within the speed limit. He stood up all of a sudden, headed for the door while pulling out his phone to type something.

“Where are you going now?”

“To see about that uniform for my girl, where d’you think?”

[alilarew23]

if your main focus is on being in the state, you're not in the state

let's say you've decided to manifest a car, a porsche 911 carrera 4s to be specific (yes i am projecting, that badboy already has my name on it), and you've been trying the whole affirm and persist thing for a grip but "nothing is happening" so instead you decide to focus on your state. you ask yourself what the version of you with the porsche would be thinking, feeling, doing--who, when you own this porsche, would you be? you realize you'd probably be thinking something along the lines of, "i fucking love my porsche, this is the dopest car in existence," you'd be feeling like a total baddie, turnin' heads, you would, of course, be driving your porsche everywhere you went, so now, every time your desire comes to mind, you "get into the state." you think your new thoughts. you feel yourself into your imagined car and visualize people driving by in awe of your bad-assery. when you're driving your honda accord, you're telling yourself it's your porsche. you're even believing it! you do this for a couple weeks, and it feels good, persisting in the assumption that your porsche is yours, but then you start to get frustrated. "i've been in the state so consistently! still nothing! why isn't anything happening?" well here's the thing: you're seeing states as a sort of technique, a means of getting something that's not already in your possession. it's not that you're doing something wrong by imagining. it's the intention behind the imagining where you're faltering. think of it this way: if someone came to you in five minutes and said, that porsche is yours, 150 trillion percent, can't tell you how or when but just know it's a done deal and is coming to you right now via the path of least resistance, how would you feel? probably pretty stoked, grateful, relieved to not have to think about manifesting, and, along with those feelings, you'd probably be thinking, "this is so sick. i legit have a porsche coming my way simply because i decided to have a porsche. the law is wild in the best way." if you're a visual person, you'd probably also see some scenes in your mind's eye of you in your porsche bumpin' mac miller drinking your iced latte, if your brain tends toward inner conversations, you might hear your friend say how low key jealous of you they are (but also thrilled because your friends are the most supportive)...but the difference here is this is all a NATURAL BYPRODUCT of you being in the genuine state of the wish fulfilled. by genuine i mean what underlies it is ACTUAL BELIEF that you have already received your manifestation. not in the physical realm--it's fine to know your porsche is yours but still acknowledge it's on its way--but in imagination, it is already written. so, now, as you go about your days, your base state is fulfillment, and yeah, every so often you might "fall out of the state," but you'll quickly recognize you're being goofy, remind yourself the porsche is a given, and boom, you're back in. whereas before, your base state (though you probably weren't even aware of it) was a state of not having the porsche and trying to get it. which--you guessed it!--only manifests more trying. hence your frustration. so do i think it's wrong to focus on your state? goodness, no. we are always in a state. of course we want to embody the state of our fulfilled desires. but check your starting place, and make sure the belief (knowing) of having already received your manifestation is inherent in it. you'll save yourself so much time, energy, and unnecessary mental acrobatics and--a fun bonus!--your porsche will be in your driveway in a jiffy.

as always, love you/believe in you. can't wait to pass you on the highway.

xx, a

[gabrielsbubblegumbitch]

What is Angel Dusts relationship with the other V’s? What do they think of him and vice versa?

tw // mentions of abuse

They are no friends, that's for sure.

With Velvette, things are definitely better. They spent some time together when she designed costumes for his shows, or when he walked her runways as a guest star. Of course, he dislikes her because she is best friends with his abuser and enables Valentino's behavior as much as Vox does. Yet, in his life before the hotel, anyone who wasn't intentionally cruel to him was considered a friendly face. He appreciates Velvette's Girlboss attitude and when things between him and Val were better and Velvette wasn't blaming Angel for Val's mood swings, they could have an enjoyable gossip sessions. Especially when he was high and it was easy to forget that she literally sells roofies people use against him.

I believe Velvette never fully regarded Angel as a human, always seeing him as Valentino's toy. She finds abusing him unnecessary. This isn't to say she's above abuse; for her, there's just no satisfaction in hurting someone who is already broken—it's a waste of time. Moreover, she has no reason to do so because, to her Angel is not threatening. She sometimes enjoy spending time with him because she recognizes that he's funny, charming and chaotic while also having great taste. Simultaneously she despises him for his "weakness" and thinks he's foolish for falling for Valentino, believing he deserves his miserable life. Yet, she somewhat wishes Valentino would let him go, as Angel is a constant source of tension for him and that affects all the Vees. For her, Angel isn't worth the fuss.

Angel is absolutely terrified of Vox. When he realized that Vox and Valentino were together, he understood that as soon as Valentino would stop caring enough to keep him alive, Vox—the jealous sadist—will end his life in the most painful way possible. He is well aware that Vox enjoys every second of his abuse, evidenced by the cameras in Angel's dressing room, and that he rewards Valentino for it. Despite no longer loving Valentino, Angel remembers how it felt to love him, and it pains him to see that Valentino can be good to someone else but chose not to be good to him; he mourns the relationship they could have had if only he hadn't signed the contract and had tried to be Valentino's partner instead. Not that he wishes to have any relationship with Val anymore, it's just his big "what if".

Vox despises Angel solely for the amount of attention he receives from Valentino. Nothing else matters to him; he doesn't even acknowledge any of Angel's traits that he could dislike. Angel is simply an object diverting Valentino's attention away from Vox and, therefore, must be eliminated. Vox doesn't exert much effort in actively creating opportunities to harass Angel (since he can't do what he truly wants to him anyway), but if an opportunity arises, he will seize it to make Angel's life significantly worse, always with a polite smile.

[st4rvedbuck]

I think the fandom of Ninjago should talk about Zane's fear of losing his humanity and his fear of any negative emotion in general. And how they contradict each other.

(warning, yap sesh ahead) TLDR: can nindroids get therapy? If so we need 5 therapists for Zane immediately

It's already established that Zane has a fear of being seen as just a machine, nothing but a freezer with fake coded emotions. But I haven't seen anyone talk in depth how he seems to turn off his emotions whenever he's faced with grief or stress, and how he only learnt to not do that far into his life.

He probably picked up that habit from when Dr. Julien turned off his memory switch before "dying" back in season 1. And he realized that if he went so long not feeling bad about the "death" of his creator by simply not remembering it or not having the actual emotion of grief, he wouldn't feel bad either when anything similar happened if he just turned off his emotions like Dr. Julien did to him.

The fact this lasted as long as it did meant nobody picked up on it* and tried to tell him he was wrong. Which only validated that idea because if there was a problem with it, someone would've told him..right?

But how can you say you don't want to lose your sense of humanity as a robot while simultaneously doing something humans can't whenever you're faced with stress? I'd say he'd overthink it, and feel guilty about not being honest with himself. He knows hes being irrational, but hes still terrified of the thought of no one seeing him as a person.

But at the same time, he's never been taught how to face stress by himself. Only for other people. It's not like he just doesn't know that ignoring your feelings is a way to avoid the problem and a bad coping mechanism, he obviously knows that. He probably just doesn't know any other solutions because his situation is so niche.

Because how could anyone not want what he has? In his position, he probably feels as if everyone would kill to be a nindroid. Since nobody tells him otherwise. We even see clips where the others use Zane's robot body as a joke or in one case, use him as a fucking cleaning robot. Can you imagine how dehumanizing it must feel for someone to be forced against their will like a puppet into doing a weeks worth of chores?

Zane probably feels as if his fears are irrational. Like he shouldn't have them because being a nindroid seems to be the only thing that others care about when they see him. He's a logical person for sure, but everyone has irrational thoughts and unless you face the reason you have those thoughts they aren't going to go away and they'll cloud your judgement. Zane, for sure, is not doing that. Because we can see he just simply forces himself to stop having emotions when they happen instead of facing them, which only fixes it temporarily.

So hes afraid of being seen as just a freezer with fake emotions (i have more to say about the "fake emotions" part), and because he doesn't face his feelings about why hes afraid of that he lets himself believe that is how people see him. Which causes him to think that fear is stupid and that he shouldn't have it, which makes him turn off his emotions for a while, and the cycle continues.

He also might believe his emotions arent needed. Like maybe at some point he convinces himself that if everyone else only sees him as a calculator with ice powers, maybe that's what he actually is. So on top of everything, he feels like since hes only a computer, all his emotions are fake. Therefore unnecessary.

Not to mention he most likely feels as if he's weak for letting Vex manipulate him. And emotions = weak, weak = manipulated again, manipulated again = letting everyone down. But thats just a little thought i had to let out.

If i could write I'd probably make a fic about him being confronted by this fear, but until then it'll stay in my brain.

Poor boy. Just look at him. He doesn't deserve this bro AUUGIGUGJGJGGHHGHHHH IM AUTISTIC 🥹

Edit: *i rewatched crystalized today and realized the other ninja ARE aware of Zanes habit. They just dont gaf 😭WHICH MAKES IT WORSE!!!

[ronearoundblindly]

How does mermaid reader feel about Steve? Like what is her take on their relationship?

just fair warning if you keep writing I’m gonna keep asking questions lol.

I...don't know what happened with this, but it was kinda fun! (unedited, not long, no real warnings except, yeah, he's a human and you're a mermaid, semi-angsty fluff!!)

Steve Rogers x deep sea mermaid!Reader from Sun, Salt, and Shield

Steve is a novelty.

Originally, you just considered him a split-tail with a crown of morning sunlight and high-ocean eyes. Later on, you learned it's called 'hair,' but a closer translation based on how mermaids see it is a 'mane.' Steve has a golden mane--something no one in your species has--hence, you think of it as a crown.

You were caged when you first saw him. That made you assume certain things when Steve walked up to the Raft's tank. Even in near darkness, his mane is bright. No other person you've encountered so far has that.

You're curious, frankly, but on-guard as always.

When humans are deprived of sleep, they can hallucinate, and mermaids are no different. You thought he was a complete figment of your imagination until Stark interacted with him, until Steve stepped into the water and put pressure across your heart and hips. The push of his hand, forcing your head against his chest, could have made you howl in relief.

All you wanted was to rest, but something in the back of your mind also told you not to scare him.

Stark, you don't mind scaring, Chuck is right where he belongs, excreted out into the industrial filters beyond the wall of your tank, but Steve? He must be protected.

He sees you. He listens to you.

You did not thing surfacers could do that. Not really. Not nicely. All humans want to do is control and take, use and abuse. However, you aren't afraid of them. You absolutely can kill any one of them that gets closer than you'd like. They're fragile.

But the way Steve grips you? Maybe he's not so fragile...

English is freaking hard. You learn quite a bit from Tony and then practice with Steve. You can feel his patience but love earning his admiration more. You find yourself wanting him to be proud of you and your progress.

You love making Steve laugh. It takes so long to figure out how to amuse him.

Numbers are a pain in the ass to learn because they have a concept, a symbol, and a written word. That's the point Tony halts teaching you to read alongside the verbal language. You threw a fit. He threw a fit. He left in a huff to cool off. You shrieked for Steve to come back for hours.

Eventually, when Tony returns, you threaten to eat him, and he calls it quits for the day.

Tony knew you favored Steve Rogers from day one. He planned to use that knowledge--and to some lesser extent, he did--but soon Tony simply realizes making you happy makes Steve happy...plus you cooperate and become an ambassador of sorts in your home realm.

You keep learning for Steve, not for Stark.

Mermen are, in your experience, domineering and uninspired. Their immense size differential to mermaids is useful to the brute-force model of society deep in the ocean, but they are boring. Your father is not stupid though. Almost none of them are stupid. Simple-minded remains the best translation you can manage.

Steve fascinates you. His attention to detail, his open nature, and his empathy are entirely new to you.

Mermen don't hide their baser instincts, so they freely ogle and flocked toward the most physiologically attractive mermaids. No interest in what's beneath the surface, ironically. Very shallow.

That's not to say bonds aren't possible. They absolutely are. Bonding with a partner is secondary at best, an afterthought most often, and unnecessary at worst.

Yet again, Steve wins you on every level--he has a sharp mind and acknowledges yours, he challenges your development without critique, and, lastly, he's quite attractive for how small and smooth he is.

"Should've seen me before," he once mumbled after you explained all that as well as your vocabulary would allow.

You don't know what he meant by that.

Because a certain level of indifference is common in couplings of your species, you were quite alarmed, embarrassed, and uncomfortable with how deep your affection for Steve became. You know how other humans react to you, and it doesn't build much confidence that one of them could feel this way about you.

During these long, repeated hugs with Steve, you realize that it's not just curiosity, or the novelty of his existence, or interest in learning from him: you feel about Steve how others feel about their mates.

Not gonna lie: that's terrifying. You don't actually know if Steve reciprocates. Sure, he explains human couples in great detail, and he shows you some of what he means, but all that could be...part of teaching you.

Until Steve discusses kissing, you convinced yourself he could not possibly harbor romantic affection for you.

It's lips against something, he says, that's all. His lips can press anywhere and boom! you've been kissed. He illustrates by kissing the back of your hand, kissing your cheek, kissing your forehead.

By now, your face is cradled in his hands. You can hear his heart racing as he sits on the steps in your pool and leans toward your body. His high-ocean eyes are shadowed as he looks down your face, captivated by--

"--your beautiful lips," he says, gently pressing his atop yours.

It's difficult to describe why something so simple hits so dramatically in your mind. The golden-maned man, almost the strongest of his species, amongst the softest of yours, kisses you like he needs to learn you, like he needs your existence, like he's curious.

There's a phrase you hum at the back of your throat once he releases you and sits up, a dusty rose painting his neck and cheeks.

"Swim beside me."

The better translation to English would be "I love you," but you haven't learned that yet.

Thank you for asking!

A/N: why am I crying?????

[Main Masterlist; Light Masterlist; Ko-Fi]

[invisibleanonymousmonsters]

chapter xviii - gust & flame

Eris Vanserra x Reader

Eris Vanserra has been a prisoner in his own home since the day he was born. He has done what he had to in order to survive and protect the few he loves. And he is playing the long game. Waiting, waiting, and waiting for the right time to make his move, to usurp his wicked father and become High Lord of Autumn Court. But things become even more complicated when a human girl drops into his life. Perhaps Eris can wait no longer to take his throne.

Word Count: 5,000+

masterlist

The next week consisted of a new routine. 

Y/N would wake up to breakfast being politely brought into her room – despite insisting she could make her own way into the kitchens and save the servants the hassle.

When she emerged from her chambers, there was always at least two hounds waiting outside for Y/N. They followed her around the property, acting as both her companions and guard dogs. The servants and guards around the Forest House seemed shocked to find their High Lord’s blood hounds being pleasant and loyal to someone other than Eris. But Y/N ignored their stares. 

After breakfast, Y/N would train with the Weapons Master of Autumn Court, who did not take it easy on her just because she was his High Lord’s mate.

Though he did manage to compliment Y/N on the first day for the previous training she clearly had been given. But for some reason, Y/N stopped herself from saying she was a Valkyrie. 

The blood hounds would sit and watch Y/N train. And if she ever got knocked off her feet, they would growl warningly at her assailant. She tried to tell them it was OK, earning her a sad whine from them.

After training, Y/N would go to the main library of the Forest House – because apparently there were nearly a dozen. And there Y/N would research mating bonds, as well as the histories of Autumn Court. 

Y/N had asked Lucien to show the library to her. He had quirked an eyebrow at the question, but asked for no further information. And Y/N made sure to memorize the route so she wouldn’t be forced to expose her new habit to any of the servants. Though Y/N doubted that there were many secrets about her in a royal household. 

It had been just over a week of this routine when breakfast wasn’t delivered to her room.

Y/N was relieved, thinking that the servants had finally listened to her request and realized that she could find her own breakfast in the kitchens. 

But as Y/N opened the room to her bedchambers, she jumped when there was a small female standing in front of her, looking up with an innocent gaze. 

She bowed to Y/N, which felt entirely unnecessary. “Pardon the surprise, Lady Y/N. But Lady Leonora hoped you would join her for breakfast this morning.” Then the servant looked over Y/N's shoulder right before a loud thunder struck. “Since the rain will mean you have no training for today.” 

Y/N blinked. She had been so delighted with the servants not waiting on her hand-and-foot that she hadn’t even noticed it was raining when she woke up. 

Was it really a request from Lady of Autumn? Or was it simply the polite way to tell Y/N to do as she said?

“Right. Yes,” Y/N finally sighed. “You will show me the way?”

“Of course, Lady Y/N.” 

She had to stop herself from wincing at the second use of the incorrect title. 

“You needn’t call me 'Lady',” Y/N told her softly as they walked through the winding halls of the Forest House. “I am of no noble blood. Just Y/N is fine.” 

The servant somehow seemed to expect such a comment and smiled up at her. “But you are the High Lord’s mate. It does not matter where you come from. Even without your connection to our High Lord, you are a hero to most here. Calling you Lady Y/N is the least we could do in return for what you have done for Autumn Court.” 

Y/N was taken aback by her words.

Most run from her when they see or hear of her witchcraft. It made them fear and distrust her. But fae were strange beings; they only ever seem enamored with her gifts. 

They reached the chambers of Lady Autumn much quicker than Y/N would’ve expected. With how close her own rooms were to hers, she was surprised she hadn’t run into her yet. 

The servant gestured to the door, making it clear that she was going to remain in the hall. “She is expecting your arrival. Please.” 

Y/N didn’t understand why she suddenly felt so nervous. 

It was obvious both Eris and Lucien loved their mother dearly – and were utterly protective of her. But that didn’t prepare Y/N for the type of female Leonora actually was.

Perhaps the centuries of being forced into a marriage with Beron had made her cold and brutal. 

But how could such a thing be when Eris and Lucien had both been nothing but kind to her? Surely that kindness came from her. 

When Y/N walked in, Leonora immediately rushed to her with a warm smile. 

“Y/N, thank you for joining me. I am grateful of the rain, otherwise I would never be able to steal you away from your training. Eris says its quite important to you.” 

“T-Thank you for inviting me,” Y/N managed to say. Though it came out almost like a question she was so out of her element. 

“I have wanted to come see you and ask how you were acclimating…but Eris is so worried about you being overwhelmed here. I did not want to add to it.” 

“Oh,” Y/N blurted out. “I mean, you are not overwhelming me at all, Lady Autumn.” 

Leonora tried not to laugh at the title. “Please, none of that. I am Leonora. In fact, I am no longer the Lady of Autumn.” 

“Aren’t you still the dowager Lady of Autumn?” 

Y/N truly didn’t know. If it was the mortal realm and Leonora had once been Queen, she would’ve become the Dowager Queen.

But everything was a bit different in the fae realm. 

Leonora smirked. “If I’m being honest, I don’t really care for titles. I never did. Now, I am simply the mother of the new High Lord.” 

Y/N kept waiting to offend, but Leonora seemed to not take anything too seriously. At least not in this moment. 

Leonora guided Y/N to what appeared to be her own small living room. “Now, Eris said you prefer coffee in the morning, saving tea for nighttime.”

Y/N had to hide her smirk at the idea that Eris talked about her so much to his mother that such a little detail of her personality would get passed to Leonora. 

Then Y/N took in Leonora’s dress. There were no greens or reds or rich browns of the Autumn Court to be seen in her clothes.

No, instead she wore mostly black.

Was she in mourning? Or had this place been her prison for so long that she felt sickened by its uniform? 

Servants came out with a silver trey filled with teacups, a kettle, milk, and sugar. But once they set it down on the coffee table before the two ladies, they disappeared entirely. 

Leonora gave Y/N a sad but considerate look. “Is there something I can do to make you more comfortable, Y/N?”

Her face got hot with embarrassment. “No! No, sorry! I mean, you must e-excuse me. I…I get very…umm…overwhelmed in such settings. I was never taught any sort of…e-etiquette.” 

Leonora immediately knew what Y/N was trying to say and gave her a warm smile before she reached over to place on a hand on hers. “If you ask me, such decorum is a waste of time and effort. Coffee still goes to the same place, no matter how you drink it.” 

As if proving her point, Leonora quickly poured herself her own coffee, purposely making it louder and ruder than a polite Lady would. 

“Y/N, I didn’t bring you here as some test or to interrogate you. I was just…Well, I was only hoping I could get to know you.” 

Suddenly a window flew open, and the wind rushed into the room. It was gentle, not disrupting anything in the room. It simply blew around Y/N’s face, fluttering her hair. 

Y/N finally seemed to relax and allowed herself to believe Leonora’s claims. 

Leonora slowly started to ask her personal questions – nothing controversial, and absolutely nothing even so much has hinting at her mating bond with Eris.

Leonora seemed fascinated by Y/N being a witch and asked many things about her craft and abilities. Not once did she make Y/N feel like some sort of freak or monster. 

It became easier and easier to talk to her. 

Now Y/N didn’t know why she expected Leonora to be so stiff and cold. She was the opposite: welcoming, warm, and understanding. 

A couple hours had gone by of them just chatting, getting to know one another. 

And it had made Y/N feel brave. 

“Why do you stay here?” She whispered softly when they found a moment of silence, watching Leonora’s face carefully. 

Leonora’s brow furrowed with confusion. 

Y/N continued, “Why do you not go to him?”

Leonora nodded slowly, somehow knowing exactly who ‘him’ was. “Eris told me you had a way of knowing things…”

Then she gave her a sad grin. “I fear it is much more complicated than that.” 

“Do you no longer love him?” Y/N’s eyes widened, realizing what she blurted out. “I apologize. I am…not good at keeping to my own business.” 

“I do,” Leonora surprisingly answered. “Love him still, that is.” She frowned and her eyes stared into nothingness as she got lost in her own mind and heart. “But much has happened. There is so much between us. Beron’s death did not just suddenly rid of us of the centuries we spent apart.” 

Y/N gave her a sympathetic look. “He loves you still. It’s so strong that it’s all they tell me about him.” She grasped Leonora’s hand. “He’s waited for you all this time…what’s a little bit more? But you should only go to him when you are ready.” 

Suddenly, there was a knock at the entrance of the chambers. 

A servant came out of nowhere to answer it and immediately stepped aside to let them in. 

A male servant entered and bowed to them. 

“Pardon the intrusion. The High Lord wishes to see you.” 

“Of course,” Leonora nodded and stood. 

The servant cleared his throat awkwardly. “The High Lord has actually requested both of you, Lady of Autumn. Lady Y/N is to join us, as well.”

The two females shared a look. 

“It will be quite alright, dear.” Leonora told Y/N with a reassuring smile. 

––

Y/N and Leonora were escorted to the great hall, where Eris stood around a giant round table with his advisors. 

The High Lord did a double take as soon as he spotted Y/N’s entrance. 

The servant bowed his head to Eris. “Lady of Autumn and Lady Y/N, High Lord. As requested.” 

Eris nodded his thanks. 

All of his advisors stared at Y/N. Apparently they were used to Leonora, and almost ignored her presence entirely after bowing their greetings. 

Y/N shifted her weight nervously, but kept her head high.

Was she finally being punished for helping usurp Beron Vanserra? Despite helping crown Eris, was there consequences for her to face?

She didn't know the laws of the fae realm.

An advisor cleared his throat and looked to Eris calmly. “I believe it would be best for you to explain, High Lord.”

Eris glared at his table. “Would it? Because I have made it clear what my position is on the matter.”

That was when Y/N noticed Eris was clutching a letter in his hand – quite violently by the look of his white knuckled grip. 

Eris sighed and looked at only Y/N, stepping away from the table to get closer to her. 

“The other High Lords of Prythian have finally decided to acknowledge Beron’s demise. When word reached that two Night Court Illyrians and Lady Death had come to our aid, it has made them…concerned.” 

Y/N narrowed her gaze. “It was Rhysand who sent them…why does he not answer for their involvement?”

“He will be questioned, as well. There will be a meeting of the High Lords in two day’s time. But they have…requested that you also attend.”

Y/N’s jaw dropped slightly. “Me?” She looked around at the advisors. “But how…how do they even know of my existence?” 

Eris frowned. “Those still loyal to Beron made sure to spread the news of the witch who cursed Autumn Court.” Then he hesitated before adding, “But the news of my mate has also become…known.” 

Of course it has. That was why she was stuck here, wasn’t it? 

Eris stepped closer to Y/N with a look of determination. “You do not have to go.” 

But Y/N swallowed and glanced at his advisors. Clearly they didn’t agree with that option. 

“I-I have a choice?” She asked so only he and Leonora could hear. 

“Of course you do,” Eris answered, as if it were obvious.

“But…I don’t understand what they want from me.” 

Eris frowned. “They wish to question you about the night of the usurping. The other High Lords are weary about Rhysand’s aid. They see it as a move for him to take over other courts – or at least an effort to force other High Lords to give him something in return.” 

Y/N’s eyes darkened. “You mean they wish to interrogate me. They don’t trust my role in all this.” 

“I will not allow it. I will be there the entire time, as will my mother.” Then he snapped a warning glare at his advisors before once again adding, “But the choice remains your own.” 

Y/N took in a deep breath. “I will attend the meeting.” 

—🍁—🍁—🍁—

The meeting of the High Lords took place in Summer Court, which Y/N learned still had somewhat of a contentious relationship with Night Court after they stole a forbidden book. 

Y/N had asked the wind to tell her everything it could to prepare for her for this meeting. If she was going to be interrogated – even if Eris promised to prevent such a thing – she wanted to know any secret she could about these High Lords. 

Leonora’s handmaidens had woken Y/N up, insisting on helping her get ready. They did her hair and makeup. Then they put her into a dress that was the colors of Autumn Court, but clearly a lighter fabric to deal with the warm and beachy climate of Summer Court. 

But when Y/N met Leonora in the hallway, she was surprised to find the former High Lady in a gold and white gown. She'd been expecting another conservative black dress. But now it was clear that Leonora was sending a message to her past lover. 

Leonora smirked, knowing exactly what Y/N had figured out. “I think there is no longer a reason for subtly, do you not agree?”

Y/N gave a shy smile and nodded in agreement. 

“Come. Eris is waiting for us in the great hall.”

When the two females arrived, Eris did a double take at Y/N’s appearance. 

“Did we do well, my son?” Leonora asked him teasingly. 

Eris tried to glare at his mother, but it mostly looked like amusement. 

He cleared his throat and stepped towards them, offering his hands to winnow them. “Let us get this over with, shall we?” 

Y/N couldn’t decide which she hated more: winnowing or flying. But the winnowing left her feeling rather disoriented. 

They had arrived at an entryway of a palace. Y/N assumed it was the home of High Lord Tarquin – or one of his homes.

But then she heard the waves and the squeaks of seagulls. And she turned to see one of the most beautiful views she’d ever laid eyes on. 

Immediately she felt a sheen of sweat cover her skin. Yes, the views of the ocean were beautiful. But Y/N was not meant for such a warm climate. Already, she wished to return to the brisk air of Autumn.

“High Lord Eris, Consort Leonora, and Lady Y/N,” the servant greeted them with a bow. “The other High Lords have just arrived. Please, follow me.” 

Y/N was surprised to find Eris’ arm extended for her to take. Leonora walked behind them, clearly trying to show that she was no longer the Lady of Autumn. 

There were seats set in a circle in what appeared to be an open room to the elements, surrounded by high, white arches that offered a perfect view of the ocean. Y/N could still perfectly hear the soft crashing of the waves. 

Y/N hated that they were the last to arrive. She was sure Eris did it as some sort of power move. But it meant that everyone stared at their arrival. 

She knew that Rhysand, Feyre, Cassian, Azriel, and Nesta would all be here. But Y/N couldn’t find it in herself to even so much as look at them. 

Tarquin stood at their approach and gestured to the only empty seat left in the circle. “Thank you for coming, Eris.” 

With a snap of his finger, Eris magically placed an identical chair next to his own and gestured for Y/N to sit in it. Leonora seemed to have no intention of sitting and stood behind them, gently propping her hand on the edge of her sons chair. 

To Y/N, it was a polite gesture for Eris. But really it was a show of irritation that Y/N was not important enough to receive her own place in the circle – despite being a High Lord’s mate. 

Y/N noticed that Tamlin – Feyre’s ex-lover – had even managed to show up. Apparently he had failed over and over again to tend to his duties as High Lord of Spring. 

“Let us not waste time,” Tarquin began, eyeing Eris closely. “You can understand how the recent events in Autumn have made the rest of us weary.” 

“I am not the first High Lord to usurp the throne,” Eris answered boredly. “I was not aware all of you were so allegiant to Beron.” 

“It is not your usurping. It is how you involved the Night Court in your attack against your own father,” Thesan commented. 

“I did not ask for their aid,” Eris answered instantly. “They came to save Y/N, not help with my effort to take the throne.” 

“Ahh, yes. The witch,” Helion hummed with amusement.

The High Lord of Day Court looked Y/N up and down, as if it would solve her mystery for him. 

“We came to Y/N’s aid because she is our friend and a fellow Valkyrie,” Nesta chimed in coldly. “Her gifts sent us a warning that she was in danger, that Beron had captured her.” 

“To cross Court lines to aid in foreign affairs is a risky one at best,” Tarquin answered. 

“Perhaps we should ask the witch of what happened to her that night,” Helion pushed with subtle amusement. 

“The witch has a name,” Eris hissed. “And it would be wise of you to use it.”

Helion’s gaze snapped to Leonora, only for a second. Then he nodded his head. “My apologies. Y/N, would you step forward please?" 

Y/N’s teeth ground together as she stood from her chair and stepped into the circle. 

“Why don’t you tell us about your journey?” Helion requested gently. 

“I lived on my own in the Mortal Realm…until I was captured by fae – amongst other women and children. It had become clear that we were being traded to wealthy fae, who wished to use humans as they pleased. I will let all of your imaginations come up with what exactly that meant. I attacked my captors as we passed through Autumn Court, and told the others to run for their lives. That is when…when Eris found me.” 

With the wave of his hand, Eris magically dropped a pile of papers beside Y/N. 

“What is this?” Rhysand spoke for the first time. 

Eris tilted his head. “Documents, proving that Beron was aiding wealthy merchants from the Continent in trading mortals as slaves. They were being brought to the Middle to be sold to the highest bidder and transported across the sea. Y/N was not the first to be taken – but she was the first to escape and save the rest of the victims in her party.” 

“Everyone here knows this is not the only evil Beron has released onto Prythian,” Eris added for good measure. 

Helion's gaze darkened as it once again flickered to Leonora. Surely he was imagining all the abuse his past lover had endured by the hands of Beron Vanserra.

He was the first to break the tense silence. “No one here believes that Beron was a just and rightful ruler.”

Once again, his gaze snapped momentarily to Leonora. 

“Rhysand aided my cause because I asked him to protect my mate with his life," Eris announced. "Night Court was the safest place for her."

“Why not go to another Court?” Kallias, the High Lord of Winter, asked. 

“The Archeron sisters were once mortals. My brother is an emissary there. The Night Court was well aware of my plans to usurp Beron. They understood more than anyone why I could not leave my mate just anywhere to be protected from my father.” 

“And what did you promise Rhysand in return?” Kallias urged. 

“Autumn’s loyalty and aid – when it would be mine to give,” Eris announced. “But Night Court did not request this of me, I offered it freely.” Eris shifted in his seat awkwardly. “I was a male…desperate to protect my mate.” 

It took all of Y/N’s strength not to turn around to see Eris’ face as he spoke of what he did to protect her. She could only stare at the ground, her hands clasped behind her back. 

“Y/N became one of us,” Feyre spoke for the first time. “We would have protected any innocent with or without the promise of Autumn’s loyalty.”

“And are you innocent?” Tamlin also broke his silence, glaring at Y/N as if she had personality offended him. “You are a witch, after all.” 

But Y/N would not take it. “Careful how you speak to me, High Lord Tamlin.” Her eyes darkened. “Or you risk exposing secrets you wish to keep locked away. I know more of you than you could ever know of me.” 

She couldn’t see it, but Eris grinned at his mate with pride. 

“Y/N is not like the witches we have heard about,” Rhysand chimed in. “She comes from a coven who wished to keep to themselves, only revealing themselves to aid others. That was proven when she risked her life to save our son.” 

“Which was also an attack set by Beron,” Eris noted darkly. 

Feyre and Rhysand sat up straighter.

Azriel and Cassian’s fists tightened at their sides.

Nesta looked…murderous. 

If Beron still lived, Y/N was sure that Nesta would have singlehandedly killed him after hearing such news.

“The slave trade was not Beron’s only evil dealings. He planned on kidnapping Nyx, fearful of the power the child would grow to have. Whether he planned on keeping the child hostage for his own use or selling him to the Continent, I do not know. The assailants were no soldiers of mine, but they were of the Autumn Court.” 

“It would appear it was time for Beron Vanserra’s demise,” Helion declared darkly. 

“It should have happened long ago,” Eris answered back. 

“What power do you possess, Y/N?” Thesan asked with curiosity. “Your coven has hidden themselves rather well. 

Tamlin leaned forward in his seat, eyeing Y/N with suspicion. “The only witches I know of are desperate for power. They will kill whatever innocents they can find, and consume their blood.” 

Y/N had been waiting for such a question – dreading it, actually.

The thing was, she did not even know what she was capable of any longer. A new power had been unleashed inside her. Whether it was during life or death situations only, she did not know. But she feared losing control of it. 

“She is not a subject to be studied!” Eris snapped before Y/N could even think of a response to the question that felt more like an accusation. “Y/N has been through enough, and I will not allow her to be poked and prodded for your own curiosities.” 

Helion also came to her defense and claimed, “She is not the first of her kind. I have met other witches like her in my life. Their hearts are true and they hold no evil.” Then he smirked. “But none were as powerful as it seems you are, Y/N. Curious that the Cauldron chose a mortal witch for a High Lord’s mate.” 

“That is enough discussion of our bond,” Eris interrupted, leaving no room for argument. Then he addressed the circle of High Lords and Ladies. “Are you all content now?” 

“It is clear Night Court has no ploys to take over other courts,” Kallias nodded. “And I for one think Prythian is better off with Beron dead. Leave Eris to handle his court. He has a long journey ahead of him, gaining the favor of his fae.” 

Everyone else nodded in agreement. 

As everyone rose, some started quietly talking amongst themselves. 

Y/N watched as Helion locked eyes with Leonora. It was clear that he wanted to go to to her. He took half a step in her direction, but something made him hesitate. 

She was so distracted with the interaction, that she hadn’t seen her friends of the Night Court – if that’s even what they were to her anymore. Y/N still hadn’t figured it out. 

After Eris insisted he’d promised something in return for them all looking after her, Y/N felt like perhaps she’d been too harsh with assuming they had been using her for their own gain. 

Feyre stepped forward first, with a cautious warmth. “I am glad to see you well after the attack, Y/N.”

Then Y/N suddenly felt a warmth behind her. Eris was right behind her, close enough that she could feel the heat from his body at her back.

He wasn’t going to interrupt or cease the conversation, but he wanted her to know he was there for her. 

“Y/N, you must understand, we never wanted to keep any secrets from you,” Feyre continued. 

“For what it’s worth,” Eris muttered quietly to her. “I forbid them from telling you the truth. I thought things would be easier that way.” 

Y/N nodded slowly. 

Nesta and Cassian looked desperate for her forgiveness. Azriel watched her with a sadness in his gaze that he hid from everyone else quite well. 

“Everyone misses your store,” Cassian chimed in with a gentle smile. “Velaris’ isn’t the same without your witchcraft and medicine.” 

“Velaris isn’t the same without you,” Nesta corrected. 

Y/N took in a deep and shaky breath. “T-T-Thank you for taking me in,” she looked into all their eyes as she said it. “Deep down, I always knew even if Eris hadn’t promised you what he did, you still would have treated me as one of your own.” 

A wave of relief seemed to wash over the five of them. 

“But I wish to stay in Autumn Court,” she continued. “Until it’s safe for me to return to the Mortal Realm, that is.” 

Y/N tried to pretend that she couldn’t feel Eris’ entire body tense at the second part. 

“I hope we can continue to be friends,” she ended softly. 

“Of course, Y/N.” Rhysand answered immediately. “And you are always welcome in Night Court, whenever you wish to visit.” 

Nesta stepped forward. “And perhaps we could…visit you in Autumn.” 

Y/N nodded. But then quickly looked back at Eris for confirmation, as if he would take away such a privilege. 

He simply nodded, as well. 

Nesta hurriedly added. “Gwyn and Emerie said they wish to write to you, as well.”

Y/N grinned. “I would like that very much.”

“Are you keeping up your training?” Cassian asked with a smirk. 

“Of course,” Y/N narrowed her eyes playfully. “Eris has his Weapon’s Master training me every morning. Soon I’ll have mastered the fight strategies of Illyrians, Valkyries, and Autumn Court.” She quirked an eyebrow for good measure. 

“She will be a fearsome thing,” Eris muttered. 

Y/N didn’t expect such a compliment – especially from him and especially in front of such an audience.

Her face got hot from it. 

But when she looked up, Feyre and Cassian all seemed to be trying to hide their amusement. 

“We will send you the rest of your things by the end of the night,” Rhysand told her. 

“Oh, there’s no need. Eris has given me more than enough clothing.”

For some reason, it seemed wrong to take all those fanciful gifts Rhysand had insisted on gifting her after the attack on Nyx. It felt even more wrong to wear such things in a foreign court – and in front of her mate. 

But Eris didn’t seem to think so. “My servants will be waiting for their arrival.” 

Y/N’s brows raised in surprise. “But…if it’s not too much trouble to ask, I’d like my supplies and merchandise from my store.”

“Of course,” Rhysand said with a slight bow of his head. 

Leonora finally stepped toward the group. “Time to go?” She asked her son. 

He nodded. 

When Y/N turned back to her friends, they gave her an encouraging look. 

“We will see you soon,” Feyre insisted.

With that, Eris winnowed the three of them back to Autumn Court. 

Leonora already started to make her way to the dining room, leaving the two of them alone. 

“I really don’t need all those gifts Rhysand gave me,” Y/N insisted hurriedly. “They were beautiful, but they weren’t very…me.”

Eris shrugged. “You can sell them all before returning to the Mortal Realm. Open a new shop without trouble.” 

Y/N couldn’t understand why her heart sunk at his suggestion. Was he really so on board with her leaving and returning to the Mortal Realm? Did he not want her here at all? But that’s what she wanted, right? To be left alone and back in her old life of solitude and secrecy? 

-----

OK. This is quite long. Don't really know how that happened. But let me know what you thought! Everyone be like @pancakefancake

Chapter XIX

[retlasute]

hiiiii i love your writing and i've been binging turbinio these last few days completely in love with the main character and something came to my mind while i was reading. Maybe it's a pretty specific request, so you can just do headcanons and i'll be happy 

so, i was thinking while reading Turbinio, that i really see myself in mc because i love collecting and keeping things from the trips i make and if i were on the steel ball run my ass would surely lose bc of all the useless luggage and i was thinking of asking you to write a gyro/johnny headcanons with a reader who is always collecting stones, shells, bones and other useless things along the way 

HAAAAA I LOVE THIS IDEA BECAUSE I WOULD ALSO DO EXACTLY THE SAME THING

Also sorry for the delay in writing your request, I was doing something that wasn't important enough to remember what it was 😭 but I've been thinking about your idea all this time and I hope you like it! ❤️

Headcanons - Reader who keeps strange/inutile/creepy things she finds along the way

◍ Gyro Zeppeli

He honestly doesn't know why he asked you to ride with them.

And every day he begins to question himself more about it.

Surely his impatient ass is always complaining about the constant stops.

''For God's sake, that's a dead beetle, (Y/N)''

And of course, at first you had absolutely no right to opine in anything, as Gyro quickly dismissed it by saying that all you do is put rocks in your bag.

He obviously didn't think twice when Johnny said he saw Diego eating rocks.

''Nyo-ho-ho! (Y/N), did you let him steal your bag?''

How could you explain to that man that a bag of shells was lighter than a teddy bear, and that feathers could adorn your horse?

He didn't really care.

But some days he needed someone to complain about, and Johnny was a saint who rarely did anything stupid enough to divert Gyro's attention from your hobbies.

You also tried your best not to slow them down significantly, but sometimes you couldn't ignore a ring conveniently lost on the sidewalk or an arrowhead in the desert.

Honestly, you don't understand why they haven't abandoned you yet either.

Perhaps it wasn't really that annoying, just unusual.

Sometimes, when you found a knife lost on the ground or a half-buried mirror, Gyro would steal it for him.

Over time, he got used to it and the collector jokes wore off.

He also started to always stop without you asking when he saw something shiny on the ground.

''Huh? Aren't you going to pick that up?''

''It's a shard of glass, Gyro.''

''So what? I've seen you pick up more useless things.''

At a certain point in the race, when you had no more space to carry larger things like lizard skulls or big shells, you simply hung them on your horse.

''You know, if I saw your horse on the road at night, I'd shit my pants.''

That's what he said when you decorated your horse's mane with small squirrel bones, attaching the skull by the jaw in a braid.

And then he goes back to wondering why on earth he asked you to ride with them.

But in the end it's not that bad.

He realized this when he found himself keeping a cool stone to give you later.

Stupid Zeppeli, putting stupid stones in his pocket to give to you.

Even stupider Zeppeli, when he offered you a space in his bag to carry your things, since your luggage was already full.

The stupidest Zeppeli, when he let you decorate Valkyrie with feathers

He's adorable, although you'd never be able to admit it.

✰ Johnny Joestar

Johnny never complained, although at first he agreed with Gyro that it was unnecessary to make so many stops to pick up junk.

But when you found a bird skull and tied it around your neck as a necklace, he became afraid of you.

Being afraid of you, he would never think of complaining about anything.

It was strange and creepy, that's all he thought.

But he liked the shiny stones, although he couldn't remember the names of most of them.

He also thought your feathered horse was pretty, although he was still totally against making braids with squirrel skulls.

''Have you always liked to collect things like that?''

''Ever since I was a kid, I guess.''

''What a strange hobby for a child.''

But he still found it, deep down, quite interesting and strangely attractive.

''What are you going to do with it? It's just an old bone.''

He remembers hearing somewhere that there's no beauty without strangeness, and he thought it was quite appropriate for you.

It wasn't long before he gave you a mother-of-pearl shell.

But sometimes Gyro's bad mood was contagious, and he would try to be kinder than his friend to ask you to hurry up or ignore something.

''I know you like this, but don't get distracted, we're in a race.''

But any “pretty please” was enough for him to give in.

''Right… if it's so important, I guess we can wait.''

He would absolutely never carry a skull in his luggage like Gyro would be willing to.

Instead, he would buy an extra bag in the nearest town for you to carry more things.

"I'm sure we could get the equivalent of this race's prize money just by selling your stuff, (Y/N).''

He's certainly cut his finger with a shark's tooth when he tried to get something from your bag.

Because he's more inattentive to such things, he constantly ends up leaving you behind because he doesn't realize you've stopped to pick something up.

''Hey, Johnny, look what I found!''

He's sure it's going to be some dead animal, so he always has to take a deep breath and prepare himself psychologically whenever he hears that sentence.

''Oh, a rock?''

''It's not just a rock, Johnny. It's a citrine!''

''It's very pretty.''

''Pretty? That's it?''

''What can I say? It's a yellow stone. But you've already shown me ten others just like it.''

''Ah, well… you're right.''

''But it's quite beautiful, you have a sharp eye for finding pretty things.''

He wouldn't show more emotion than that even if you showed him a diamond.

[creatingnikki]

What I've learned in 2023 (part I)

i. Compatibility is what you are looking for. A compatible home, a compatible partner, a compatible workplace, a compatible friend circle. Compatible with who you are as a person and the kind of life you want to live. Compatible so that you don’t constantly have to use so much of your energy in trying to fight unnecessary battles simply to exist how you are. When the spaces you are in and the people you are with are not compatible with your existence the way it is, the way you want it to be, there will be constant chaos, distress, and conflict for which you will have to use so much energy. But if you are in compatible spaces with compatible people – not ideal, not perfect, simply compatible – then you can use that energy towards creating and building things that matter to you. Because your everyday choices? They are not being questioned, judged, or blocked.

ii. Lessons will keep repeating themselves until you've learned them. So you have to start paying attention. Realizations in themselves are not lessons learned. Change in actions and thought processes is. So, yes, lessons will keep repeating themselves until you learn them. And even once you have learned them. It's like with how we learned the same subjects in school year after year. Just because you learned Geography in grade 5, does not mean you still did not have to in grades 6, 7, 8, and so on. Life lessons too have additional layers, context, and depth. It can all feel very Sisyphean. But the boulder is never the exact same twice. Similar but not identical.

iii. Just because he was a puppy before, does not mean he is not a कुत्ता (dog) right now.

iv. 인연 (in-yeon) is the fate specific to the meeting of two people, the ties two people share over the course of their lives. Someone you have perhaps comes across in your past life/lives in various capacities. And so, yes, when you come across someone you feel comfortable with, can have meaningful conversations with effortlessly, feel a ‘connection’ with, feel the 인연 with it feels special. But 인연 is also the fate of this life. Maybe in this life you’re only meant to share this very limited, very brief, 인연 with someone. Even if you feel this deep connection. Maybe in this life they are not meant to be your soulmate or your best friend. Maybe they are only meant to be your professor or your neighbour. Let it be so. Accept that fate, accept this life’s 인연 with them. No matter the intensity of the connection. Again, let things run their natural course. There is no other way.

v. I am an open book that even a blind man can read. An open book so heavily and aesthetically self-annotated that people can play me like a fool just for shits and giggles. And while I have started to appreciate humour a lot more in life, I am not okay with my candidness, earnestness, and vulnerability being mocked, manipulated, or misused. I am still not clear on how to protect myself in this aspect but I do know two things clearing — first, forcing myself to change who I am at my most authentic core is not the answer. Second, there, however, does need to be some protection. Think of yourself like a special edition, rare precious book in a fancy, restricted-access library. Only members, who loves books, who value books, who take great care of them, and have a track record of doing so can borrow the book/check it out of the library. Essentially, you must be more mindful of who gets access to you. And like you can continue being your real, authentic self, but you do not have to be that all the time and with everybody.

vi. Speaking about vulnerability, let's talk about the semantics of it for a bit. It's The word 'vulnerability' is derived from the Latin word 'vulnus' which literally means — the ability to wound. Why? Why would you do that with people you don't yet know well + trust to be safe? That's why one of the lessons of this year is the realization to get rid of this blanket vulnerability. It's not some sort of strength, it's simply dangerous.

vii. On that note, conversations, even emotional conversations cannot be an indicator of the actual real (lasting) comfort and intimacy and trust between you and the other person. That only happens naturally over time.

viii. So, yeah, timing and time? It is your friend; not a bitch. Allow people and things time to run their course and reveal themselves to you. There’s no need to feel anxious or responsible to make things with somebody flow a certain way because at the end of the day, no matter what you say or do, things will pan out the way they are meant to. So, trying to rush things, trying to lowkey orchestrate them, or putting so much thought into things like how you’re punctuating your texts is futile. What is meant to be is meant to be and feeling FOMO when it comes to people and relationships only really happens when you create elaborate scenarios in your head before even getting to know somebody.

ix. Capturing everything more in videos instead of pictures is precious. That motion of your friend kissing your cheek and that motion of the street cat moving her tale in and out of the sunshine falling on the ground is what you really want to capture and look back on.

[1nthedarknessofthenight]

﴾ i drink your blood and i eat your skin, part two.

pairing: hwang hyunjin x f!reader

genre: vampire au

word count: 3,2k

warnings: mentions of last chapter

masterlist

playlist

──────────────────────

It was the next day, maybe more like few hours after what happened. You didn’t sleep, couldn’t even think about going to bed as your eyes were wide open from the very moment of your near death experience. When you got home that night, you immediately went to the bathroom, falling under the warm stream of water that slowly warmed up your frozen skin. Not caring about getting out of your dress, you sat there in your tub, watching the dirt and blood get washed out into the drain and you just wished that also the memories would.

You felt like throwing up. Thinking about how you just watched someone get murdered before your own eyes while almost getting a taste of that same fate and being so close to getting raped, weren’t strangely the things that frightened you the most. The fact that you now knew about the existence of the supernatural made you feel even more unsafe in this god-forsaken world. It seemed so bizarre but also not shocking at all. You were never a sceptic but also not a true believer before this. You never knew that when you would finally came across a supernatural entity it would be like that. So bloodcurdling, so brutal…you didn’t even have time till now to trully process this new information about the world. They really couldn’t be human, their strength, speed, so perfect looking and menacing aura…The power that man had over you…you have never felt something like that. It was almost like you wouldn’t even think twice about putting your life into his hands and letting him do with it whatever his cold heart desired.

A vampire. He was the creature of the night that fed from the lives of others. They could easily make everyone fall to their feet, just by a glimpse of their striking beauty alone. But did you yourself? Yes, in a sense that you became putty in his beautiful hands but you still did not do what he ask you to do. The handsome stranger said to forget but you were now doing opposite of that. You remembered everything to the very detail.

It quickly made fear creep up on you. What if you see him again? What if he figures it out that you know? What would he do to you? Would he try to compel you again? Or maybe just simply kill you? Sucking the life out of you as you would then meet your maker?

‘No, I will not.’ You will find a way to protect yourself if needed, find a way how to get out of this mess.

As you sipped at the hot cup of coffee, letting yourself drown further into your blanket and the softness of your couch, your thoughts went to your friend. You can’t just tell her what happened, Mia wouldn’t believe you…but maybe she would. You had never lied to each other and also told each other everything...but can you tell her this?

Your phone ranged suddenly, the loud noise making you jump in your seat. The noise made your headache heighten, grimacing at the pain in and quickly grabbing your phone to spare yourself from the unnecessary noise.

Looking at the caller ID, you let out a small sigh before picking it up. “Hi, Mrs. Johnson.” You said, your voice slightly rough, making you cough into your arm right after. You then put your phone on speaker, placing it on to the table.

“Oh-Hi! Y/N are you okay? You sound like you’ve got a cold, honey.” Said the woman, her sweet tone filling up your otherwise quiet apartment.

You shakes your head, pain shooting right after and also realizing your company couldn’t see you as you were met with silence. “No, no….just had a rough night that’s all.” Sipping at your coffee, you hear a small chuckle from the other side.

“So, I suppose the date went good?”

Almost choking at your hot drink, you replied in hurry. “No!” You cough out, it made your throat hurt like hell. “That’s not it…em–may I ask why are you calling?” You chuckle quietly with Mrs. Johnson who find your reaction overly amusing.

“Well, I’m running late and I need someone to get groceries but it’s okay if you’re not feeling well…”

“No! That’s okay, it’s just a sore throat from the weather, I can get them.”

Immediately a revealed sigh came from the other side. “Thank you so much, Y/N! You’re a lifesaver.” You blushed slightly from the praise. “I will give you the money when I get home, I really gotta go. I will be home at four, so no need to hurry just yet.”

“Alright Mrs. Johnson, goodbye till then.”

“Bye and thank you again!”

Before you could tell her it was nothing she hung up, making you whine, throwing your head carefully back against the couch. You actually kind of wanted to be the one to thank her because you finally had some distraction but you also wanted to spend the whole day only by yourself, lay down and do nothing but you were basically incapable to say no to someone in need. Realization then hits you.

You have to cover up the bruises and the awful red marks on your neck before even considering to go out. Thankfully it was quite cold today, so you could probably just go for turtleneck or something. Maybe by masking the marks from last night will help you forget…

────

As you pushed the trolley down the aisle, you pulled at her turtleneck, grimace falling over your features. The fabric was itchy on your skin and rather uncomfortable on your still open wounds. Having no other choice, you sucks it up, looking down at your shopping list. Mrs. Johnson sure loved her healthy food but at least she wasn’t that type of person to let the whole house go on a diet just because she was. Still it surprised you. That woman was five months pregnant and kept her cravings at minimum. You and even her children didn’t like how she just wouldn’t let herself slip. Her husband was also against her strict diet, making jokes out of it that he was actually the one with the pregnancy cravings. Thankfully she also wasn’t like those pregnant ladies that almost starve their unborn child, so they could keep their slim physique. She did it because she wanted her child to be as healthy as possible and only a nine month diet was more than worth it for her. You admired her for that.

It will be almost two years since you started to work for them. It was more than just babysitting, not just for you but also them. You could’ve not dream about a better job than this, it almost felt like you were part of their family.

Waking up from your train of thoughts, you make a surprise noise as someone grabbed at your sides, squeezing the softness of your hips. The sudden touch made you jump, your heart pounding in your chest. “What the hell!” You whisper shouts, turning back to look over your shoulder, only coming face to face with your friend who was laughing loudly at your reaction. “Mia!~” You hissed her name, blush of embarrassment adoring your cheeks.

The named girl, trying to cover up her amusement, waves teasingly at you. “Girl, you should’ve seen your face.” Says Mia, quickly imitating your face, making scowl.

“You know that’s not funny, I could’ve punched you.”

“Yeah sure, I would like to see that.”

“I swear to God, you gonna catch these hands some day.”

The blonde smiled at your words, completely ignoring your warning tone and at that you finally registered the man standing next to your friend who watched you two quietly the whole time.

“Hi.” He says, smiling at you awkwardly.

“Hi?” You greet back, looking at your friend who in answer skips to him, throwing her arms around his neck.

“Baby, get me powdered donuts while me and my friend catch up?” Says Mia battling her pretty eyelashes, the petname making you raise an eyebrow.

Grinning, he nods his head, completely under her spell. “Sure, meet me at my car after?”

Your friend humms, giving the man a kiss on the cheek. You and Mia then watched how he walked his way to the sweets section before giving each other knowing looks.

“You can’t be for real…”

Laughing Mia firstly hugs you, before going to explain herself. Your friend’s hands pressed little bit too harshly onto your side, right underneath your bruise, making you puffed out a breathe, thankfully your friend didn’t seem to catch the sudden noise. “I don’t know, he’s cute…when the lights are out.” You laughed together at her words, your laughter however sounding a little bit hoarse compare to Mia’s. Coughing into your elbow, you gripped at the handle of your trolley a little tighter. The blonde before you quickly picked up on that. “Hey, you okay?”

Hearing the concern in your friend’s voice, you wave it off. “It’s nothing.”

“Okay…” Trails off Mia skeptical while going to walk next to you as you picked up your pace without even saying anything. “But girl you sure? I’ve never seen some much greens and you together before.” Amused, your friend gestured to your shopping cart.

Raising your eyebrow, you take a glance at her. “So you’re saying I’m fat?”

“Well you sure got that ass girl~” Laughs Mia, hearing the teasing tone in the your voice. “But if you want to loose it up, it’s up to you.” Shrugging, both of you then go to the freezers.

“It’s for Mrs. Johnson.” You clarified, goosebumps appearing on your skin from the sudden cold.

Humming, your company also nods at your answer. “Well that makes more sense, you need help?” That question makes you look at her in confusion.

“Sure, I don’t mind but I don’t want your date to keep waiting.”

Waving you off Mia than goes to side hug you, thankfully missing any of your bruises, finally coming to enjoy your friend’s embrace. “Don’t worry about him, I’m with my girl right now.” Laughing softly with her, you go to open up one of the freezers to pick up what was needed.

God, now being with her it makes it even harder for you to not say anything. What even her reaction would be? Just concern? Also fear? Or would she just not believe you? You both joked around each other a lot but you immediately knew when the other was just lying and making fun. But you thought about the consequences again. You would also put her into danger…or not? There is a possibility that you will never see them again, never see him again…

For a moment you left those thoughts behind, not even registering you were already at the cashier, paying for the groceries. Your friend looked at you in concern but she knew if she would push you to say what’s really bordering you, it would only made you more lock into yourself.

As you went outside while carrying the bag full of groceries, someone spoke up from behind you, making you both stop in your tracks. “Hey! Where are you going?” It was the man Mia was with and to be honest you both almost forgot about him.

Laughing to herself the blonde went to him where he was standing next to his car. “Oh yeah…” Quickly taking the powdered donuts from his hand she then goes to lightly pat him on the cheek. “Thanks.” At that she goes back to you, leaving him downfounded while you only laughed in his direction.

────

You huffed, pulling the heavy shopping bag as high as your arms would let you, feeling the handle slightly piercing your skin. Your grimace then quickly turned into a grin as you sees a small girl, peaking from behind a corner. The girl gasps excitedly at your appearance, jumping. “Y/N is here, Y/N is here, Y/N is here, Tobias!” Sam, the 6 year old dark haired girl, jumping and screaming to her. Her older brother after few seconds came out from the other room, rolling his eyes and cringing at his sister’s shouting.

“Yeah, yeah, stop yelling” He grumbles, making his way to you just as you had to put down the shopping bag when the small girl jump into your arms without any warning. Sam wrapped her arms around your neck, making you smile into the girl’s hair that seemed a bit longer since you last remembered. How are they growing up so fast?

A scoff was heard from behind them. You three turn to look into the direction, only coming across Mia with her hand on her hip, giving you a quite unimpressed look. “And what about me?” The blonde kissed her teeth, gesturing to herself before pulling her hand from behind her back, showing the bag of powdered donuts. The girl shrieked again, jumping at her, making the older woman laugh at her excitement.

Tobias goes to you grabbing onto your heavy shopping back without saying anything. “You sure you got it?” You asked teasingly, seeing the boy stumble a bit under the weight, gripping it also with his other hand. He rolls his eyes, grumbling an agreement as you only watched in amusement when he wobbles his way to the kitchen.

Walking into the kitchen, you tsked, seeing your friend giving the little girl a donut. “No, no don’t…give them both some after they help.” The kids groan, displeased from their babysitter’s words.

Shaking your head at their behavior, you waited for the boy to put down the bag, almost collapsing with it before finally going to take out the contents. The kids also went to help, each one of them making it quite easier for them to put it inside the fridge. They sure were helpful when you promise them a reward afterwards.

It was quiet for a few moments as you cleaned up the kitchen but just as you were putting some snacks into the cabinet with two pairs of hungry eyes, trying to sneak a look, the sound of keys jiggling was heard from the front door. For a moment you all listened to the shuffling, waiting quietly for their new company to join them.

Older, dark haired woman at that walked into the room with a smile so bright as her open arms. “Hi, my babies! Hi, girls!” Said Mrs. Johnson, her arms wrapping around her daughter who happily ran to her. You and Mia greeted her simultaneously while Tobias went to steal a small hug from his mom. Even being in the raging stage of puberty he still couldn’t resist those warm, love filled embraces.

Releasing her children from her grasp, the woman put down her purse with a big sigh, before her eyes light up seeing the blonde. Gasping lightly, she walks up to her, pulling her into a hug. “Mia! Haven’t seen in a while, you sure do look lovely.” The named girl grinned at her words, waving her off as it was nothing, before Mrs. Johnson goes to look at you, immediately concern overtaking her face. “And you Y/N…are you better?”

“Yes, I’m already fine, it was probably just the morning sore throat.” You laughed sheepishly as your friend send you a small glare. The older woman nodded, not that sold from your quick answer before going to get the tea ready.

You watched as Mia gave the kids finally their promised treat, the blonde turning to look at you, still looking in the direction of Tobias and Sam who now chased after her brother who ran away with the donuts.

The blonde then clicks her tongue finally getting your attention. “Then if you’re fine..do you wanna go out tomorrow?” The question sounded little bit uncertain even from her.

“To w-where?”

Mia shrugged, going around the kitchen island to stand next to you. “Just clubbing.”

You sigh, not very sure if it’s a good idea. “I don’t know it’s been a while, also-“

“Hey, it’s fine we have the whole day tomorrow so you have a lot of time to decide.” She stopped your rambling, leaning on to you. “Just a thought.”

Suddenly a cup of hot tea was placed in your hands from Mrs. Johnson, the apple and cinnamon immediately hitting your nose. It was your favorite and the woman always had some for you safed in the house. Smiling in her direction, you thanked her quietly.

As you took a small sip of your favorite tea, the older woman gives you a look. “How was the date by the way?” Mia hummed loudly into her mug in excitement, also wanting to know.

And by that the events of the night before flashed in your head and as soon as you started reminiscing, you swallowed thickly. “I got stood up actually.” You said, trying to distract yourself from your thoughts by tracing the ornaments on the cup. You actually didn’t mean to sound sad about that as you only got loud gasps back in return.

“What?!?” The blonde almost spilled her drink from how quick she snapped her head to look at you. “Who in the right mind wouldn’t want to go out with you?”

The same question also crossed your mind too many times than you would like to admit, but your wondering would always end at the same place where you started. She was unloveable. You knew, you were loved by your closest but when it came to being loved in a romantic way? You always heard how love at very young age was only damaging. The heartbreak will linger longer than all of the love you’ve ever felt for that person. But you want that…you wanted that. Having your first love while still growing up and learning, not sure what to do with it, only knowing that it was right, the feeling was right. But as you grew older, you wondered if something was wrong with you. Everyone was expressing this feeling called love to one another and you could only watch from afar and wonder. ‘When will be my turn?’ You asked herself. You were getting so tired and frustrated, maybe you should just let it go…

Slowly realizing that you were letting yourself drown in your thoughts, your eyes look up to your company who watched you silently, waiting. Those saddened looks made you want to sink deeper. God, you must look so desperate right know.

Taking another short sip from your tea, you shrugged, glancing at the two with the most unbothered look you could do. “I don’t know, you tell me…”

After a beat of silence Mrs. Johnson spoke up, filling up the silent kitchen while Mia started to regret her choice of words, but still knowing she meant every word. “You should go out.” She says, making it sound a bit commanding. “Make it up for yesterday and see that there is more to life.”

“Says the pregnant lady.” Teases Mia, laughing as the so called pregnant lady gave her a unimpressed look while you started to think about the risks you would’ve to take to go out at night again, now knowing there was a new, bigger danger to be afraid of. But you also only lived once and maybe because of yesterday, you deserve a good night out with your friend.

Maybe you could even truly distract yourself enough to stop and not think of him in every passing moment…