#you'd choose the guy who acts like fear from inside out

[that-ineffable-devil]

I don't know what it is about Neil Gaiman's stories and characters that bring up so many visceral emotions and realizations but Dead Boy Detectives has gripped me in it's skeletal claws.

I'll admit I haven't read the comics--one more thing on my neverending tbr pile--so I came into this show without any preconceptions or foreknowledge of the characters or their histories. And I didn't do any research on the show beforehand a) to avoid spoilers and b) it's Neil Fucking Gaiman what am I gonna do NOT watch!?

Basically, I had no idea what to expect from it. Except that it'd be queer (praise be).

And I gotta tell you, Charles is getting to me. In ways and at depths I never could have expected. And, fuck, it's making me confront some things I didn't realize were affecting me...and some that maybe I did...

Like the anger. Gods, the deep-rooted anger at the injustice and cruelty of the world and the hands you're dealt. The fury of feeling helpless and alone and terrified during the worst experiences of your life. And the self-loathing you feel as you bury that rage for fear of becoming the very monsters that tormented you--unable to express it in even a healthy manner because you can only associate anger with violence. So you bottle it and bury it and hope against hope you can keep it down, but you fear the day you run out of burial ground.

Like the compulsion to act like everything's fine. To mask any negative emotions with a smile and a kind word or a laugh. To never be the reason someone else is in pain. To try so hard to undo the pain done by others. To be the person you needed most who was never there. Maybe you're trying to convince yourself that you're not a monster. Living in constant fear that you really are that monster, and all your goodness and light is a smokescreen to trick truly good people into allowing you to walk amongst them--and that one very bad day they'll all see the truth and your worst fears will be confirmed in their eyes.

Like the almost desperate need to cling to anything or anyone good that comes into your life, because it has happened so rarely and so fleetingly. The fear of taking certain risks with those things and people because any change can be the one that results in losing them. Yet constantly taking risks with yourself and your life (death?), likely boiling down to "If I go first, I don't have to lose them." Because, deep down, you think they could never miss you as much as you'd miss them.

And even specific moments...

Like using the word "rough" to describe abuse, because how else do you reference decades...or in his case, likely at least a decade...of trauma and abuse without upsetting someone? Without letting them know it's still affecting you?

Like equal parts fear and fury welling inside you as you watch something truly horrific happen. Memories wrapping your senses so tightly as that man brutalized his family for no reason. Being both unable to stop it and unable to look away. Desperate to do something about it but completely helpless. Again.

And reliving his trauma, forced to by someone else? Feeling that pain and misery all over again. The heartbreak as friends choose to hurt you for reasons you don't understand. The anguish as your brain tries to protect itself while a parent who's supposed to love you makes you wonder why you exist at all. The terror of being hunted. Not knowing why. Not knowing what you've done to deserve it. Wondering if somehow you do.

And confessing his fear that he's a "bad guy." Wondering if you're really the villain in your story. Fearing that the reason people treated you so cruelly is because they saw the monster within, and thought they could keep it contained and afraid. Fearing that you won't be able to.

And not every day is like this. Not every day has you feeling like you're at the edge of a precipice. Some days are quite good actually, especially if you have even one good person around. But any day could turn out like this.

But you keep on with the smiles and the positive attitude because the monsters can't win. Your monster can't win. And frankly, you don't know how else to deal with it, because no one ever taught you how to. Or maybe you never had the chance to learn. All you know is that it's all you know.

[alena-reblobs]

Trigun Bookclub Trimax Vol8 Part1

Vol01: Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3  | Vol02: Part 1 | Part 2

Trimax: Vol01 Part 1 Vol01 Part 2 | Vol02 Part 1 Vol02 Part 2 |

Vol 03 Part 1 | Vol03 Part2 | Vol04 Part1 | Vol04 Part2 | Vol05 |

Vol06 | Vol07 | Vol08 Part1

As a warning, I will start babbling about Vashwood in this volume (though not really in this part yet) and then probably in all volumes to come, too. Obviously because I love the pairing but also because their relationship is so important and impactful, and this volume marks such an important milestone.

What I really like in Vash and the talk between him and Knives at the start of Chapter 1 is, that Vash also acknowledges the pain and abuse that humans have inflicted upon the Plants. He totally understands Knive's anger and why he acts that way, but the kind sides of the humans that Vash was witness to as well, Knives never got the chance to learn. And if you'd try to show kindness to him now, he wouldn't appreciate or even see it.

Not the face of someone who's happy to be back with his old crew obviously. (Sometimes some drawings of Wolfwood make him look so much less bulky and more fragile and like the tiny Wolfwood, like here on the right...maybe because we can't see these huge shoulders. I like that!)

Still trying to live by Vash's and now his ideals, even though there's no way these soldiers are gonna get back out of this alive anyway...and how he stubbornly doesn't answer Chapel...(Meanwhile Livio is thinking "Nice! Free banquet! *continues to slaughter the men*)

Oh my boy you've come such a long way :'(

The whole rest of the talk between Knives and Vash at the end of ch1 was a great character insight, and next to what lots of other people already said I wouldn't know what to add to that. So I'm just choosing to save these panels here, sums it up pretty nicely and we get to see the two brothers in a nice comparison!

Chapter 2:

Please take my boy out of this situation. He clearly doesn't want to be there. (the way Wolfwood looks so much not-in-control of the situation....oh man)

Make a pirouette, and I'll give you a 10/10 for this jump, Knives.

If some had not been aware until now, at this point at the latest everybody will have noticed that Nightow doesn't fuck around with depicting some traumatic and cruel stuff. (And boy does he know how to do it)

There are so many awesome pages in these later volumes that I'm basically just copying whole pages in these posts here but HOLY COW doesn't this look epic.

And the whole time, Vash is unable to do anything. At least he's giving Legato a hard time, too.

That above panel damn. And look how it's killing Wolfwood internally. He's seeing all those evil deeds done by the arc, helping alongside Chapel now too, probably, and then he's already got the guild of bringing Vash here to get him trapped....all just because he wants to save his home and the kids there but BOY is it killing him inside. It sucks when you have to be the bad guy to save the ones you care about.

Also, the turn the story takes at this point, with everything falling into chaos so quickly...it's gotten very quickly so much darker now. I do like dark stories too so I was enjoying this with anticipation how it could get resolved when I read this for the first time. Still, very tough stuff to digest.

And then, of course, omg these girls appear again!!! You go!!! However you managed to survive, you're looking well. I'm also glad Luida is still here too ♥

Chapter 3:

If I'm ever in need for a mechanic and had to choose from the Trigun cast you know I'd go for Brad. Look how crafty he looks with that..drill...thingy. Leaking faucets, here's your mortal enemy!

THANK YOU Luida. Yes, Vash has dangerous powers, but he's also Vash and you all owe him so much!! Not letting some fear prevent you from trusting in him!

Wolfwood awoooing at the moon, just like his name says. Also, this was the scene where the plants memories are being shown, and I love that we actually get to see something from their view! The way it's done, with only same-size panels from the same view is also the perfect way to make that clear.

Super neat way to show how all these different memories and plant consciousnesses (?) are breaking him apart

Please look at our queen in all her murderous glory.

oh god oh god oh god (I'm reading this for the 12234th time but still)

oh god OH YES

[bokuroo-squeals]

"I love you, and you love me. Isn't that enough?"+ Best Friend's Brother with Osamu

If this does well, I might do a part 2 but I seriously don't think this is good. It's written a little to awkward for my liking.

Event masterlist here.

Stolen glances were your favorites, getting to be unapologetically in love with someone and your secret unknown to the world. In silence,you could appreciate him, the color of his eyes, the tip of his nose, how his eyes crinkled in delight when he laughed. Delicious moments where you could enjoy him.

By stolen glances was the only way in which you could reach Osamu like the idiot in love you were, because you knew that if his brother ever found out how hard your heart beats for him, not only would he be scandalized, you also believed that he would also feel betrayed. After all, Atsumu had vocalized plenty of times his disdain at the thought of you and his brother together.

You were a good friend, you really were, and while you couldn't stop from falling har for his brother- yet you admit that you loved every second of your feelings- at least you did stop yourself from acting on them, as much as it was possible. Of course you tried, though it was hard when his own brother looked at you with a glint so fond on his eyes, when his warm hands seemed to find yours with no problem when you were close, but never reaching for them, just enough to brush yours and give you a taste of what they feel like.

You continue to watch Osamu form the distance, in your seat next to his brother while the younger twin laughs at something Suna said, and his laugh could be at his friend's words, but his eyes are on you. He turns his head to the game they're playing, the sofa small with two big bodies like theirs seating in them.

"Say, Y/n" Atsumu calls for your attention, looking at the sealing deep in thoughts. "Would you be interested in me setting you up with someone"

The spit in your mouth makes you choke with his words.

How were you supposed to react to the sudden proposition, and what were you supposed to say? Should you tell him that the only guy you're interested in at the moment was his twin? The brother that he prohibited you from dating since day one?

You're eyes travel again to Osamu, who isn't looking at you, but with the way his eyebrows furrow, you are aware of him listening, and your poor heart can't handle the pressure. By the sight of it, he doesn't seem to happy about the conversation Atsumu is intending to have, and neither are you but it's not like you can't tell him that, so with a sigh, one you hope sounds tired and annoyed enough to convince him, you kindly reject the direction he wants to take.

"No, thanks" cool, calm, you remember, stay cool and calm. Yet, Atsumu can't read the room, or chooses not to do it, as always, and continues despites it.

"C'mon, you can't be single forever. I know this guy, he saw a photo of you and he's interested in meeting you" he moves to face you, a self-satisfied smile on it, as if he is about to make something incredible by setting you up– he's not, in fact, you think he's really stupid in this moment– and his brows nudged towards you like an invitation to say yes.

By now, you're too afraid to turn to steal a glance at his brother, being it for a fear of how pissed you think he might be, or because of the fear of the blond catching you, either way, your eyes stayed focused on your idiotic best friend.

"I don't care, you're lame and so must be your friend" with a hand pushing him away, you're about to end the conversation "Anyways, instead of focusing on my love life, you should start one yourself" you huffed, ending the talk.

Atsumu pouts, and while he's not pleased with your crude answer, he listens, leaving you alone. Although that doesn't mean he's dropping his irritating antics, finding another prey, his brother.

"How about you, 'Samu? There's this girl I already rejected, but I guess she'll be interested on a date with you. Obviously, I am the handsome twin, but you're not that bad yourself"

It's not your place, it really isn't, to say no, to tell your friend to fuck off and leave Osamu alone because you want to be the only one for him. But you seriously want to do it, shout that he can't set up his brother with a random girl because you feel like he already belongs to you. And you know it's selfish, that's why you stay silent, with an invisible scowl and gritted teeth and fists clenching a little too hard.

For the nth time that night, Osamu's eyes land on your figure, meeting your's in the process. The difference is, that this time, he's look is both cold and hot. Cold as if they're telling you how tired they are, and hot as if to tell you he's ready to make you step up your game, almost challenging you.

"Yeah, of course, just know that once she's met me, she'll have clear who's the better twin. Won't even remember a thing 'bout you" Osamu's smirk is teasing, and everyone could say it was towards his brothers, but you knew better. It was dedicated to you.

A pang of something hurts in your chest, maybe of jealousy, and maybe it's the pain of hearing him giving up on whatever you're supposed to have. It's wrong, you're feeling the guilt of those sensations, because you're the one that has pushed him off, denying every single advice that could have been done, and still, you want him just for you.

It isn't until hours later, when Suna has left and Atsumu has fallen asleep when you talk for the first time this day, aside from the greetings.

You stand in the kitchen, a glass of water in your hand, trying to calm how agitated your insides are. At this point, the twins have left a disaster of your mind and heart, coming like a hurricane of emotions that hits you hard enough to hurt. A part of you wants to scream, declare your undying love for him, for his deep voice and calming irises, declare that he's yours and yours only– you remind yourself that he isn't– but the other side of you is too afraid, afraid of hurting the one person that has been next to you through everything and anything, the one who has picked up the broken pieces and helped you come back as one stronger version. You don't want to hurt or hurt anyone, which it's so damn hard in your position, but you know that you'd never forgive your heart if you let down Atsumu, if you even dare to disappoint him.

Osamu's entrance pulls you out of your trance, successfully taking your attention towards him, although he appears to ignore your presence, walking past you without a word. Painful, that's too painful for you.

"Osamu…" you trailed off, trying to make you as small as you can.

"Save it. I'm not in the mood to talk to you" he's cold, and you hate it, he's never been like this to you, but you can't blame him either. While he's cold, there's just the tiniest hint of anger on his voice, making you more unsettled.

"I'm sorry! I don't want to hurt you, you know that, is just that–" he interrupts you. He's pissed, his eyes show it, his chest puffs and shoulders tense, a sight you never want to see again.

"It doesn't matter, it's not like we're anything, anyway" his words cut deep inside you, damn they do.

You wished you could unhear the pain behind what he says, but it's right there, and it shows his vulnerability.

"That's not true… you know how I feel about you"

"Then let's do something about it! I love you and you love me, isn't that enough?!" The raw emotion touches your insides in the most painful but delicious way. You want to hold him close and comfort him, yet you don't think you have the right to do it. "So what if my brother doesn't approve it?! Are we supposed to forget about how we feel? Am I supposed to ignore how much I love when our hands meet? How much do I adore the way you look at me?! Or pretend that I'm burning to kiss you?! I'm sorry, Y/n but I don't care anymore about anything Atsumu has to say at this point."

He comes your way with big steps, and you coward a little at the sudden movement, and then he kisses you. A kiss is full of irritation, annoyance, love, care, all the bottled up feelings showing in a kiss that says more than words.

"I'm not hiding up how I feel anymore, so this is me officially asking you to be mine. You can reject me and we'll forget this happened, or you can accept and we'll face Atsumu, together".

Your answer is obvious, coming in the form of another kiss, one that's more tender, sweet and short.

[arthemis-forge]

Chapter 3 Body and Soul (Crimson)

Warnings: None (future nsfw)

A/N: Hello guys! Sorry for the delay, what happens is that I was a little busy with some personal things but I'm back.

I will try to update twice a week and each time as we progress through the story, make the chapters longer. Another thing is I didn't notice that the previous chapter i published the draft instead of the final version. Which had many otorgraphic and writing errors. But it's already corrected. If you find something let me know so I can fix it. Also I am very happy for all the support, thank you for your lovely comments. Another thing, Do you want me to create a tag list?. Please tell me in the comments. That's all I wanted to say. Enjoy your reading! 🖤

Chapter 3(Crimson)

Lost in my thoughts, I walked towards the exit of the building while i was looking at the sky with some concern. It wouldn't be long before the sun rise.

And honestly, I was very scared. I did'nt know anyone in this city and didn't know what time it was in the area. My life was in danger and although I was sure that I still had time based on what the sky looked like.

I was still very worried about not knowing what time it was exactly. Looking at my watch was in vain. It was scheduled for London time not New York.

I was very nervous but I had to calm down. So i calculated that there were 2 hours left until the sun rise. And although it sounds like it's a lot of time, I don't know how much traffic there is in this city. And I needed to be in the nearest hotel as soon as posible.

Again I was so lost in my thoughts that I did not notice that a taxi parked in front of me, it was not until I heard the drivers voice that I noticed it.

—Good night miss, are you waiting for someone else? Or do you need me to take you somewhere? —

Hearing that question made me feel more relaxed again.

—Sure, I actually have nowhere to go. Could you recommend a hotel near here. One with good facilities. The price point doesn’t matter but I really need to get a good place to relax, preferably the closest hotel to the airport.—

I told him as I opened the door and carried my suitcase.

—Of course ma'am, in fact we are close to many good hotels. They are a few streets away. Would you like me to take you to see the exteriors and based on how they look you choose one?. I assure you that they are all very good, some more than others but none are bad. —

The man smiled while he waited for my answer.

I sighed feeling realised.

—Yes please, I would like it very much. —

The man laughed as he drived the car.

—You are not from here are you? I can tell by your accent. —

I nodded as i looked out the window. Analyzing the area I was in.

—That's right, I'm from London. I was transferred from my job. —

—That's so interesting. Sounds like fun to have a job where you travel a lot. —

—Well yeah you're not wrong. But I also needed to start a new life. —

I confessed while we entered to a large avenue with many buildings with hotels and apartments. Some were prettier than others.But nothing look bad about them.

—Is one of you liking? Or do you want me to go further so you can see more options?. —

The truth is that I could already choose one of the many hotels that were on the street. And I couldn't be so demanding, since i needed a safe place away from natural light as soon as possible. But a hunch told me to accept the man's proposal.

—Sure, I think we can see a few more options.—

No matter how much the car moved forward, nothing interested me. It wasn't until we reached the corner of the avenue that a large black building with Victorian architecture caught my attention. On the outside it had an ad with red calligraphy that said "Crimson".

—Stop here, I like this one. —

I pointed to the old building.

—I’m sorry to tell you this, but that hotel is very strict. They do not allow the entry to anyone who doesn't have a membership. It has already happened several times that I leave people here and they end up removing them from the place.—

—Don't worry I will try to enter. If i can´t then I’ll choose one of the hotels that are on this street. How much do I owe you? —

—If you insists, it’s $30 dollars.—

I nodded as I handed over his money.

—Thank you very much, also keep the change. —

I took my suitcase and closed the car's door as I approached the entrance of the building. However I was stopped at the door by a very tall man with brown hair and grey eyes.

— Good night, Miss. Could you give me your membership please. —

Embarrassed, I bit my lower lip and then proceeded to do something I didn't wanted.

—You're going to let me in no matter the rules of the place or what your bosses say. —

I smiled already knowing the results of my action. The man nodded and then open the door for me.

Once inside I noticed that a tall girl with black hair and violet eyes smiled at me as she applauded me.

—That was so wesome, Alice. Just as I expected, James didn't cause you any trouble. —

The girl approached very excited.

—Who are you and why do you know my name?—

I asked very confused and feeling insecure. Since she was aware of what I had just done and the worst thing was that she knew my name. This was getting very strange and I was not liking it.

—I am Grace Crimson. Owner of the hotel and great friend of your Boss Nat. —

—Do you know Nat? —

I said in a very incredulous voice.

—Of course Alice. But hey that is the least important thing right now, let me show you your room and I give you Nats phone number so you can call her.—

While I was trying to process the information, one of the attendants took my suitcase.

—Did Nat tell you in any way that I will come here? —

She just laughed at my question.

— I knew you'd say that. Don't be silly, honey. You are acting like a newborn vampire in the clan. Look dear, I'll explain. I can see the future. Today I had a vision of you in which I saw you giving orders to my guard right outside my hotel. It should be noted that I was concerned, because I didn't knew who you were, so I called all the offices until I found some information about you. To at least make sure that you weren't dangerous to us and to be able to take the necessary measures. By the way, I don't want you to feel bad about what I told you. But these are difficult times and we must take care of each other. —

Of course she was right, what a fool I was. I have been so involved in my personal feelings and problems that I overlook the fact that many in our community have that ability.

—Don't worry, it's okay Grace. I understand. I know how the security protocol works. And I also understand perfectly that you investigated me and that you needed to know who I was. —

I confessed.

—I already knew you were going to say that tho. Hey you are more friendly and understanding than I expected from someone who can control people's minds with their voice. No ofence but your kind is usually a very pretentious. —

I couldn't help laughing at that comment.

—I was like that many years ago, but someone changed me. I try not to abuse my powers too much, only when it’s necessary. —

I lowered my gaze to caress a silver ring with a red diamond that I had on my ring finger.

When she saw how my mood changed, she immediately hug me.

—Don't torment yourself over the past. —

She took me by the hand to walk me through those long corridors of the building. I must admit that I felt a little emotional. The place reminded me a lot of my grandmother's house.

—Here is your room, as you can see it is very spacious, it has a king size bed, living room, bathroom with a bathtub and a beautiful balcony. Also here is Nat's phone number. And don't forget to close all the curtains including the ones on the bed. —

She handed me the keys, a red card and a pos it with Nat’s new number.

—James leave the suitcase on her bed. —

The man obeyed her order and put the suitcase on my bed.

—Sure Grace. Thank you very much for all the hospitality. It has been a long time since I felt welcomed in a place. —

She smiled

—I know we are going to be very good friends. —

After that she closed the door behind me.

It's amazing how someone's life could change in an instant.

One day you are in London crying for your ex and the next day you are in New York and you're dreaming with a man who doesn’t even exist.

Thinking about that, I began to close all the curtains in the room and then i took the phone from the bureau next to the bed.

With some fear I called her, I knew that she would be very upset with me. But i had to do it.

—Hey nat it's me, Alice. —

—You are an idiot, I was so worried! Never do that to me ever again! I thought you wanted to kill yourself or something like that...

You sounded so sad. God you have take some therapy you can't continue living like this...—

I sigh very annoyed.

— Anyway, I already spoke with Bruce and he already gave you permission to work in New York. And before I forget to tell you this. Tomorrow you have a job to do. I need you in a bar, we think we found someone who can serve us for the clan. You will have to go to a concert near a local bar in the town. Grace will leave you the papers with the man's information.—

—Perfect. By the way, thank you very much for the favor. You don't know how grateful I am with you. Anyways, I will leave you, I am very tired and I would like to sleep as much as possible to be in the best possible conditions tomorrow—

—Of course dear. Have a good night. —

Grateful to Nat, I hung up the call and then closed my eyes. But not without first remembering Peter's beautiful green eyes.

[honeypwark]

[ New Recruit ]

↳ Pre-Debut era

↳ Xiang isn't going to be in the girl group for the 2017 JYP trainee showcase. Xiang is less than pleased. Chan becomes well aware of that fact.

m.list

✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:* *:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧

(x)

✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:* *:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧

Being a kpop trainee is not the fanfiction dream most fans think it to be. You don't meet all your favorite artists on the first day (or ever, really). The actual training is grueling. There are constant dance and vocal and rap lessons, along with language and instrument classes.

Not to mention the behavior classes where you're literally told how to act. Also, the foreigners have to learn how to become some kind of fake Korean. You don't get to go home on holidays most of the time.

And there's this overlying fear that at any moment you could not measure up to what your company wants you to be and you'll be sent home without a chance of redemption.

"Are you done being melodramatic or do you want to keep spiraling into a depressive episode?"

"You want an honest answer?"

Yeji rolls her eyes, "Come on, Changie. Groups are being announced for the showcase soon and I want to be there when it's posted."

"Sorry, I need to wallow in self pity for a little longer."

"No, you don't. Now come on!"

Xiang groans as her friend and fellow trainee pulls her up off the ground and out of the dorm.

"She's alive! I figured you'd have killed yourself with how long it was taking," Ryujin comments as Yeji drags Xiang out into the hallway with the rest of the trainees in their dorm.

"Don't tempt me."

The group of girls makes their way to the bus stop, where they ride to their company building and file inside. More trainees are already waiting for the announcing of teams for the trainee showcase.

Just as the last group of trainees arrives, a dance instructor walks down the hall. The trainees who had been buzzing with excitement and talking amongst themselves fall quiet as they step out of her way as she pins the sheet to the announcement board. She walks away like nothing a moment later and the trainees all climb on top of each other trying to read the paper.

Lily Morrow jumps away happily with a few other soloists, the remaining trainees pressing forward to read the assignments. Yeji pushes Xiang forward as a space opens up, leaning over her shoulder.

Yeji pokes Xiang in the back, "You're a rap soloist, who saw that coming?"

Xiang nudges her as much as she can in the tight crowd of eager trainees. She continues reading the list, looking further down at the teams.

Trainee Bang Chan's Project Team

Junior Team: Boy Story

She skips past that.

Girls 2 Team

There it is.

Members: Mashiro, Park Sunmin, Park Yejin, Shin Ryujin, Shin Yuna, Lee Chaeryoung, and Hwang Yeji

Xiang blinks and reads the names again. And again. And a fourth time.

She still doesn't see her Korean name (Ji Changho) anywhere under Girls 2 Team. She guesses it's okay she wasn't chosen as a debut-worthy trainee (not really, that sucks major ass but okay) but then she hears someone say something from behind her, not realizing she can hear them.

"Why is Changho in Chan's team?"

"What?" Xiang mutters, lifting her gaze back up the list to Bang Chan's Project Team.

And there, right between Lee Yongbok and Han Jisung, is Ji Changho, a member of Trainee Bang Chan's Project Team. Until now, Xiang had thought that Chan's team would be a male only group.

Chan is a decent enough guy a few years older than Xiang. He is currently JYP's longest training trainee, a great leader and an even better producer, good at all three of the fundamental idol skills as well as just a nice guy. No one ever has anything bad to say about him.

But why the hell is she listed to be a member of his team for the showcase, especially when he got to choose the trainees he wanted? He didn't even ask her first before signing her up unwillingly.

She looks above the crowd of trainees and finds Chan's dirty blonde head of hair. She detaches herself from Yeji and the crowd of trainees. She makes her way over to Chan.

"Why is she part of the team? I thought it was just us nine guys."

"I know, but I've seen how good she is and she produces, too. Have you heard her tracks?"

"Yes, everyone has, but that doesn't mean she should be a part of the group."

"For once I have to agree with Han on something."

Chan turns away from Jisung to face Xiang, who stands with her arms crossed and hip popped.

"But you... you said you'd join the group. I talked to you about it."

"Uh, no, I didn't and you didn't talk to me about anything."

"I didn't? But..."

Chan's confused expression shifts to absolute terror, covering his mouth with his hand as he looks at Xiang with wide eyes.

"That was a dream."

"Are you messing with me?"

"No, I-," he groans and drags his hands down his face, "God, I'm so sorry, Xianghao."

"Using my real name doesn't fix this, Christopher. You know that it's either your group or the girl group that's going to debut. If this stops me from debuting, I am going to chop your dick off."

Chan swallows nervously, "Understood. I-I'll go talk to JYP now."

Chan runs off.

"You're so confident that we're not going to debut, then?"

Xiang turns to Jisung, "Honestly, fuck off, Han. I am not in the mood for your shit."

[parkyparkpaaark]

"Tell me everything you know and I swear it will just stay between the two of us."

For the first time in the past ten minutes they've been in this cramped, dimly-lit room, Sam Wilson finally met the gaze of the man in front of him. He was never a fan of one-on-one conversations even with his family, let alone with a guy he just met. He had always described himself as a new kind of specie who is incredibly anti-social. Although there was one person who could make him talk nonstop without feeling uncomfortable— Bella.

Who is also the reason why he was in this room, talking to a guy he barely knew.

"I don't know anything."

---

The siren of the ambulance blared through the streets, turning the heads of each resident it passes by. Accidents are not a stranger to the small town of St. Jane County. But the peculiar thing was it was the third time this week that the ambulance picked up another teenager that goes to Northwest High for what can be barely called as an accident. Unless you call discovering a dead body in the restroom with a bubbling mouth an accident.

It boggled the mind of the people how it all seemed to happen consecutively, following the death of Bella Green. Various speculations were formed, some a little hard to believe while some thought it was just a mere coincidence. But what stood out the most was the belief that Bella left a curse before she died and that she's haunting the students who go to the same school as hers.

Ethan Blake, a senior from the same school, says he's had his share of odd sightings of the girl roaming the halls of Northwest High. He admits having to have had a relationship with her for a short amount of time in the past.

--

The stranger set down a couple of pictures of a blond, well-built, good looking guy in front of Sam.

"Know him? He claims to have dated Bella. Is that true?"

He scoffed at the mention of the word. "Dated? Now he says that. But where was that when Bella came up to him at the cafeteria two months ago asking what they were? That asshole barely looked at her before making fun of her in front of his teammates."

"How about the two people who have died earlier this week? How are they related to her?"

Sam knew better than to play games with the town's detective, so he gave in. Without looking up from the table, he began speaking.

"The first one, Paige Morgan, was running for class valedictorian alongside Bella. Both of us knew she was a dirty player and would probably pull up an act which could get Bella in trouble. And true enough, she posted a nude photo of Bella using an anonymous account in our school page. The picture was real, and I'm sure she got it from Ethan, being the only guy Bella has ever been with. I reported it immediately but it was too late when they took it down because the principal had already seen it. He was about to expel her but she begged him not to so he thought he'd just eliminate her as a candidate for class valedictorian."

The whole time Sam was talking, the detective has been writing nonstop on his little notebook, this being the first time he's received relevant information about the case. There was finally a flicker of hope in solving the mystery that's been bothering him for weeks.

He took a sip from his already cold cup of coffee, "And a few days after Bella's death she was found lifeless in her room, am I correct?" Sam nodded. "How about the other one? Mr. Travis Anderson?"

"Well Travis was a bully. I can still vividly remember getting a wedgie from him back in freshman year," he couldn't help clenching his fist at the thought of the jerk. "A few days after the issue, Bella found out that Travis was the one who sent the photo to Paige using Ethan's phone. By the way, Paige and Travis were dating during that time so you'd understand why he helped her."

There was a minute of utter silence after Sam stopped speaking. It's beginning to make sense now— the consecutive deaths that followed Bella's, the cause of death of the victims, and their connection to Bella herself. The detective thought for sure there was something fishy going on— I mean how big of a coincidence can it be that both the victims were found to have been toxicated by the same drug? But what he couldn't figure out was why the victims voluntarily took the drugs.

He was about to ask more questions about the subject, considering how much Sam had already spilled. But before he could, he was cut off by the boy, "Sir I've already shared a lot of what I know. Can I please go home now? I still have to prepare for our prom tomorrow night. I haven't picked up my tux yet and it's getting dark outside."

Having left with no choice, he let him leave.

---

[P R O M]

It had been weeks but Ethan still couldn't get over it. He spent most nights staying up all night, contemplating on the things happening around him. First it was Bella— who he admits he has wronged and no one knows how sorry he is for being a jerk to her. Next it was Paige, who he didn't really like, considering she's an entitled bitch. And then there's his bestfriend Travis. He couldn't even enjoy prom like he thought he would months ago.

Who wouldv'e thought Ethan Blake, a candidate for prom king, would be sulking in a corner instead of dancing with the other students?

His train of thoughts were interrupted when his eyes landed on a girl standing by the doorway— Bella. But how could that happen? She's dead. At least that's what's been going around the school. Extremely puzzled, he stood up and followed her. Could he really see ghosts? She is a ghost isn't she? If she isn't, how can she be alive?

Questions were piling up in his mind while he followed her to the library. She took a seat on her usual spot and motioned him to sit across her, so he obliged. No one spoke for the first few seconds. He didn't know what to say and Bella, well he has no idea what's running in her mind either.

"Cat got your tongue, Ethan?" she broke the silence. "I know you have a lot of questions in mind. Let me hear them."

"You're alive?"

Bella chuckled, "I was expecting something better than that, but yes. I am alive."

"How?"

"Ethan, sweetie, time's running out and you're asking the wrong questions."

He rubbed his hands on his face, evidently frustrated. "I'm sorry it's just hard to process this right now. Everyone thought you were dead Bella and now you're here in front of me. If I tell this to anyone they'll say I'm out of my mind."

"Well that's the thing, you won't be able to talk to anyone after this." The sinister smile plastered on Bella's face was enough for him to wet himself even though he didn't understand what she's saying. "Since I can tell you still have no idea what's going on and you failed to ask the right questions, I'm gonna help you out. Wanna know how your friends died?"

He let out an audible gasp, "You were the one who killed them?"

"Yeah. Wanna know how I did it?" she asked in almost a whisper. Without waiting for a reponse, she continued. "I asked them to play a game with me. See this bottle?" she held out a small, transparent bottle with two pills inside. "One of these pills has poison in it. I asked them to choose one and whatever's left will be mine. We'll swallow it the same time and whoever dies obviously loses," she took both pills out of the bottle and put it down on the table. "Now Ethan I want you to play with me."

"What if I don't want to?"

Bella smiled once more before pulling a gun behind her, "Oh I'm sorry, I forgot to tell you this is not optional. All you have to do is pick one. If you're lucky enough, you'll get out of this alive and I'll be the one who dies."

Ethan stared at the identical pills in front of him. There's no way to tell which one's safe and which one isn't. He could feel her stare piercing through his soul the longer he decides. After giving it much thought, and accepting his terrible fate, he picked the one from the left.

"On the count of three," Bella picked up the other pill and positioned it at the entrance of her mouth, and he did too. "One, two, th—"

Before she could finish, someone kicked the door open revealing Sam holding a gun as well. Bella furrowed her eyebrows at him, oblivious of what's happening.

"I can't take this anymore, Bella. I helped you get your revenge because I know how much you needed it. But I don't want to hear another person dying because of you. Now put down the gun and surrender to the cops or else."

"Or else what?" she pointed her gun at him and shot him near his shoulder, earning a scream from Ethan who was cowering behind the curtain of the library.

Before Bella could fire once more, Sam aimed the gun and shot her on the head before losing consciousness.

---

[ONE MONTH LATER]

"We're back in the same spot we once were, Sam. Now tell me everything that happened that night."

The detective was right, they were in that same cramped, dimly-lit room they were in a month ago. And it's still because of the same person. But this time he couldn't bring himself to say what he knew— not because he was still the same anti-social guy, but because of his fear of what might happen if he tells the truth.

He avoided the gaze of the man in front of him before letting out a sigh.

"I don't know."