#your other close mutuals had the sense to keep out of this drama publicly and that's to their credit - not to yours

[beardofkamenev]

“She really needs to be bullied”

Turns out all the faux outrage about people screenshotting their public Twitter posts about us was really just to stop anyone from finding this Tweet, huh?

To anyone — anyone — who is still in doubt as to who the real bullies are in this situation, here’s Taylor (lucreziaborgia) and one of her mutuals on 17 JANUARY explicitly wanting to “go back on Tumblr just to bully these people” and saying that an 18 year old black girl “really needs to be bullied”. This is all because on 8 January, said 18 year old called Taylor out for making petty and racially insensitive vagueposts about me, richmondrex, and Nathen Amin “simping for a dead white man”. It was only after that callout post that their buddy Haley (lucreciadeleon) began spamming the 18 year old with her deranged, TOS-breaking anons (as well as my other mutuals) and making baseless antisemitism accusations against everyone who criticised Taylor. Why? Because she agreed with her racist friend’s racist posts, and even joined in the fun. Then just last week, she and Taylor tried to get several of their mutuals (who had nothing to do with the situation) publicly involved, one of them took the bait, and here the fuck we all are now.

I hosted my screenshots on Imgur for the sole purpose of making my posts easier to read, but I can easily move them to another host and fix my links if ever they get removed. You and your clique of enablers reporting my screenshots will NOT change the fact that they all substantially prove that the main aggressor in almost all the pointless drama in our community is YOU. Your bullying, your lies, your gaslighting, your hypocrisy, your projection, your whataboutism, your fake outrage, your pettiness, your anonymous harassment, your TOS breaking, your abuse enabling, your disingenuous use of identity politics, and above all, your blatant racism and xenophobia caused ALL OF THIS. And with all the evidence out there and with all the people who have seen it, there’s absolutely NOTHING you can do or say that will wash those stains away.

If you want this stupid drama to end, you grown ass women have two choices: you can either shut the fuck up and try to move on like the rest of us, or you can keep going and I will happily finish your shit for you. Your choice.

And by the way, most of my screenshots are still up on Imgur. Keep winning, “girlbosses”.

[castiel-left-his-mark-on-me]

Hi, Ary, very inactive ex-mutual(i think???) here. Good to see you thriving! ♥ It's been a while since I've dipped my head into cockles stuff. Could I perchance maybe ask uuuuum tf is going on??? lol I see Mish apparently confirmed he used to stay over at Jensen's in Van, and heard newbs were apparently freaking out about it and getting a bit messy, which I get that, business as usual. But I'm also seeing shit about spin-offs? And Jared getting in a twitter fight with Jensen, causing/resulting in stans to going feral and sending hate?? I know you're not as big a fan of Jar, but that's part of why I figured I'd ask you, you usually have a really level head about this kinda stuff. If you don't wanna answer publically, or at all, that's totally chill!

Hey, Rhi! We're still mutuals! Of course we're still mutuals! When I saw the notification of your ask, I was like "Hey! I haven't seen you in a while!" and my husband was like "???" and I said "Tumblr" and he said "Oh."

It was a wild time haha.

In any case, welcome back to the dumpster fire! We are obviously still a mess. So to catch you up, I guess I will start by summarizing both before and after the finale (not sure where you left off so this might be redundant for you) ... basically, it became obvious as the end of the show neared that Jensen was not on board with the plan for the finale; although Jared never stopped singing its praises.

We got confirmation of this during a zoom interview where Jensen said that he actually went into the writers room as well as called Kripke to basically voice how he didn't agree with the direction the final season was going, but he was shot down on all fronts. In another interview, he was asked "What would you tell your younger self going into this career?" And Jensen responded with: "I would tell myself to just keep your head down and do the work" meaning, "Don't try to change things because you can't." I also think that this whole situation is what he wrote "Let Me Be" about for his first Radio Company album, but that is just my own speculation. All of his reluctance, even though he always followed it up with "But I eventually saw the value in the script" or "I came around in the end" (which never sounded sincere, and I don't think he was really trying to sound sincere) made us all very nervous about what was to come for 15x20; and of course, when the last two episodes aired, we saw just how badly they fucked it up.

After the awful finale, the entire fandom became aware of the CW's heavy handed role in the thing, basically squeezing all the life out of SPN to shape it into a ramp from which Walker could launch itself. They not only erased all the love and joy and representation that Cas's love confession gave us, they also tore apart the things that made sense about the bond between Sam and Dean, making it really just about Sam-- and therefore Jared, which of course, Jared seemed to be fine with ... even though no one else was. Misha barely said anything during the finale, and a few of the other actors talked about the show ending in various posts, but Jared tweeted up a storm ... and Jensen? Jensen just sat in sexy-silent resentment of the whole thing. He didn't tweet, he didn't post, he didn't say a word once he no longer had to, and I think that's because he was already going full-steam-ahead on his plans for redemption.

Which brings us to Chaos Machine-- Jensen and Danneel's new production company that is being run by a queer creative director and has a mantra of inclusivity and representation woven throughout it's fabric; and apparently, the first story that Jensen wanted to tell through this new platform is the origin story of Sam and Dean's parents; so last week (?) he announced the upcoming production of "The Winchesters" -- the untold love story of John and Mary. Obviously, John is not the most likable character from the show, so the idea was met with a lot of resentment when it was first announced, but Jensen has gone on to say that he is excited to take on the task of telling the "true" story behind these characters-- the one that makes sense with the pre-established canon and doesn't reject it. So, given that, the idea is being mulled over with a bit more optimism from the fandom.

Who isn't being optimistic though?

Jared Padalecki.

When Jensen made this announcement on Twitter, many of his friends and coworkers congratulated him, but not Jared. Jared responded with a passive aggressive: "I'm happy for you, man, but I wish I didn't hear about it through Twitter." This of course, sent all the die-hard Jared fans into a tizzy and they immediately began asking him if he was serious (hoping it was just a joke-- we all hoped it was because there would be fallout no matter what one's opinion on Jared is). Instead of leaving it there though or just deleting that tweet, Jared went on to tweet some more, saying that he was being serious that he didn't know about the plans for the prequel, and that he was "gutted" that Sam apparenlty wouldn't be included (mind you, this a prequel to SPN... meaning BEFORE Sam and Dean were even born, so how could Sam be included? But Dean is apparently narrating this story so maybe Jared thought Sam should be helping to narrate it? I don't know). But Jared being Jared couldn't just leave that there, he then went on to tweet at Robbie Thompson who was announced as a writer for "The Winchesters" so then Jared went off on him too, calling him "Brutus" and a "coward" acting like Robbie betrayed him (speculation is-- Robbie refused to write for Walker, so Jared is pissed that he essentially chose Jensen over him). He did fairly quickly, remove that tweet attacking Robbie, but of course the damage was done at that point. And it truly only took his first tweet calling out Jensen for some people to be like "Jared-- that sucks if you didn't know but why are you saying any of this publicly?"

As you might know, Jared has had issues in the past with posting hurtful things on social media, and has even used it as a tool for attack before-- calling out customer service agents and public workers that he felt have wronged him, which is bad enough ... but for him to then do the same thing to his best friend of well over a decade? Many people who had once liked him or at least gave him the benefit of the doubt (I used to ...) stopped after this latest twitter tantrum.

However, some people have suspected for some time that J2 had a falling out either shortly before the finale or just after. Their public/social media interactions have seemed awkward, stilted or even non-existent in moments that they normally wouldn't be. In the past year, when Walker premiered, Jensen didn't say much about his friend's new venture other than a "Congrats. buddy" here and there. Later, we learned that Jensen refused to work on the show ... Jared said he make him do it, drag Jensen to the set "kicking and screaming" which made many fans quirk up an eyebrow because, why would Jensen put up a fight unless the two weren't as close as they used to be? And then Jensen moved his family to Colorado (either permanently or for an extended period at least) which is notable considering how he moved to Texas seemingly to be closer to Jared, even buying a house that was near his. All this was just speculation though; but it wasn't until Jared's tweet complaining about not knowing about the prequel that the theories behind them falling out, became less theory and more fact.

The day after his twitter tantrum, Jared tweeted again-- not retracting his statements or apologizing, but instead saying that he and Jensen "talked" and were "all good". Jensen then tweeted too, parroting this statement to some degree, which only made the whole thing even more sour in the mouths of the fans. The fact that Jared didn't apologize for his outburst and throwing his friend under the bus, and also the fact that Jensen-- Mr. Sexy Silence, Mr. Never Tweets, Mr. Tech-Ignorant-and-Proud, actually had to POST SOMETHING saying that he and Jared made up, it just screamed OPTICS. It was obviously the work of agents and PR firms and lots of people going "Look, if you two keep beefing, that will mean the death of both of your projects. Even more people will stop watching Walker, and this SPN prequel will never get picked up due to the scandal." So, the two "made nice" publicly to quell the chaos, but in my opinion, it's all too little too late. Jared started a storm that he can't contain now with a little tweet, and it seems like he knows that too because before he talked about him and Jensen making up, he asked that people "not send threats". He could have just as easily said that he shouldn't have made this a public issue and that he's sorry, but instead, he continued to play the victim and stoke the flames by alerting us all to the damage he's done.

Now, like I said before-- I used to give him the benefit of the doubt. I don't think he's an awful human or that he deserves to be attacked or anything, but he is an adult man with very poor judgment and an obvious selfish-streak a mile wide. He should know better, and he should have more respect for his so-called "friends" and "brothers" than to make them targets to public ridicule. I have a hard time believing that Jensen still sees Jared the way he used to, and I wouldn't blame him a bit for wanting to pull away-- especially when he's moving on to so many new and exciting things. Jared certainly deserves happiness just as much as anyone else, but he went on twitter and basically asked for a scandal, and he got one.

The question is now-- was there a motive behind it? Was just looking for a reason to bring his and Jensen's falling out to light-- while making himself looking like the victim in the process? Or did he genuinely not know about the prequel and just decided to go about "not knowing" in the most toxic and hurtful way he could manage?

In any case, that is the drama ... that is the J2 insanity in a rather lengthy nutshell ... that is the tea ... and I hope it all makes sense.

But the good news out of all of this is, Cockles is thriving-- they are happy and in love and Jensen calls Misha "Babe" and Misha misses waking up to see Jensen in the morning, and they are just as cute and wonderful as can be.

So, I will end that there. I am so glad to see you back, and I hope I answered all your questions in a way that made sense ... I tried anyway!

💖💖💖

[bakagamieru]

I don't think people are mad because of harry still being sad about zayn or whatever it is between them. Public image or offical narrative you name it but for some reason it's ALWAYS zayn who gets talked shit about and people at their "enough!" point me inclueded. 90% of theblogs I follow here are always critical about what's going on but after 5 years you want somethings to left behind. And at this point I can't help but ask would this mess still going on after all this time if it was not zayn?

General

There is every reason to believe that Zayn leaving is a stunt and that none of the boys ever had a problem with each other.  I’ve explained that in many previous posts, and the explanation takes up a lot of space, so I’m not doing it again here.  You can check out those posts in my Zayn Stunt Summary here: https://bakagamieru.tumblr.com/post/120840259353/zayn-stunt-summary

I think it helps to visualize this situation as a siege.  The human psyche is rather suggestible.  Even for strong, confident, self-assured personalities, it can be difficult to hold up against constantly being told the same lie from every quarter.  Sooner or later, people who are repeatedly told lies start to believe them, unless they’re very lucky, very aware, and very careful.  That’s the whole concept of gaslighting.  This has also been shown in psychological experiments where people have eventually been convinced they’ve broken bones that they never have just because they keep being told they have over and over.  

That’s why it’s important with this situation to keep reminding ourselves of the hard facts and work through every new development logically.  That’s how we survive the siege and stop ourselves from getting hypnotized into believing negative things about the boys just because we’re told negative things over and over again.

Direct Answer

I think the current badmouthing is about a sick and twisted promo strategy that all of their teams seem to share.

I suspect there would be a lot more negativity from Zayn’s side if he had proper promo.  No promo, no appearances, no performances, no interviews = no opportunity for badmouthing.  

Also, keep in mind that there are 4 people that can potentially badmouth Zayn, while Zayn is only 1 person to badmouth the other boys.  That’s obviously going to lead to more vitriol directed at Zayn than at the other boys.

Those two things (lack of promo, 4 v. 1 scenario) are probably part of the reason everything seems so unbalanced.

There’s also the fact that Zayn was cast as the villain from the beginning.  In the post I linked, you can find a post I made about why there were multiple reasons for that and why Zayn was actually the only person among the boys that could have been put in that role during this stunt.  Is there probably some racism involved in that?  Yes.  Is part of the reason that people are so willing to believe the worst about Zayn linked to unconscious racism?  Quite possibly, yes.

I know it sucks to see other people buying the negativity and feel like there’s nothing you can do about it.  The only thing I can say is that if you’re surrounded by negativity, it’s very difficult to see anything but the negative side of a situation.  

I prefer to think that most of the fans have been taken in by a targeted psychological strategy that relies more on repetitive misdirection than that most of the fans are blatantly racist.  And I really do believe that’s true.  I believe a lot of this type of racism is unconscious bias and that one day, hopefully a lot of people with these unconscious biases will at least become aware they have them and work towards trying to fix them.  

But no, in general I don’t think this negativity is still going on only because it’s Zayn.  I think it’s still going on because old 1DHQ still want it to be going on and keeps stirring the pot to make sure it does.  I think this is still going on because old 1DHQ still has some sort of hold on 1D’s public images, because the “feud” drama is being used for promo, and because the situation can’t really be fully resolved until the hiatus ends (and I predicted that before the hiatus began).  I had hoped that we might at least get friendly Zayn and 1D even before a reunion, but apparently that’s too much to ask for from the evil 1D overlords.

I, too, feel like shit every time this unnecessary negativity rears its ugly head. However, you have to either find a way to accept and move past it (which I do through reminding myself of the truth via logic) or you might need to remove yourself from the negativity.  If it’s dragging you down constantly, consider unfollowing blogs that post the news that upsets you or blocking the most common tags on the posts that upset you.  I know being told to ignore a bad situation isn’t the best, but for your mental health, it’s either that or finding a way to fight back that makes you feel better.

Showy = Putting on a Show

To me, the drama of this “feud” is just another reason to believe that nothing IS actually going on between Harry and Zayn.  Nothing bad anyway.  

When something is constantly being pushed in your face, it’s generally because someone wants you to see it.  More often than not, the things that are really scandalous are hidden in the entertainment industry and it’s the huge dramatic “feuds” that are constantly in the news that end up being all an act.

Character

Maybe I wear rose-colored glasses, but I’d like to think I’m a decent judge of character.  None of the boys are rude or spiteful enough to keep taking potshots, especially to gang up on one particular person, for years and years after a fight.

It takes a certain maturity to survive with as much grace as the boys have managed in the entertainment industry, and that sort of maturity should also lend itself towards mending a relationship after an argument / learning how to move on from an argument that can’t be fixed.

Former Friend vs. Foe 

Yes, there have been a few public scuffles with other celebs in the past, such as the Wanted, but that situation is different simply because no 1D boys were ever close to any of the Wanted.  A fight with a near-stranger is very different from a fight with someone you’ve called your brother on multiple occasions. 

The closer the people who are fighting are, the more emotional it is and the more hurt people get.  Being more emotional means being more likely to be very angry, but being more hurt means that you aren’t as likely to want to broadcast that very vulnerable, private feeling.  You’re more likely to want to shun the topic with strangers than vent about it, if you’re any sort of a private person.

If we know nothing else, we at least know for sure that Zayn and the other boys were very, very good friends.  You can’t fake the way they were together for the amount of time they were together.

It Was a Single Fight Supposedly

The story is that none of the boys are really in contact with Zayn, so according to that narrative, it’s not like there are ongoing clashes that keep any of the boys feeling like they need to keep commenting negatively about Zayn.  If you’re continually butting heads, it might make sense to keep complaining about the situation, but that’s not what we’re being told is happening.  We’ve essentially been told that there was 1 fight years ago and that’s been it aside from a small amount of supposed back and forth, almost entirely in print interviews initially.

Time and Common Decency

It’s been almost 5 YEARS.  What person with any sense of decency keeps bringing up a fight at every public appearance that happened 5 YEARS ago?  

That would be like getting in a fight with your good friend and then badmouthing them publicly at every gathering of your mutual friends for years.  No matter who was in the right originally, you’re just a jackass at that point.

Talking about something in private and complaining is one thing, but doing it in public?  That’s entirely different.  And the more time that passes, the more ridiculous it is.

Relevancy

Zayn isn’t even really relevant to any of the boys’ solo careers, so it doesn’t particularly make sense for him to be brought up over and over.  

This might be because the interviewers can’t seem to move on from 5 years ago, asking constantly about when the band is getting back together, if they’re getting back together, how is it different having a solo career, etc.  It’s been 5 YEARS.  Those questions have been asked and answered ad nauseam and it’s not like those answers have changed over time.  

Sorry, got a bit off track complaining about interviewers… Anyway, it might just be the interviewers being unoriginal, but their team clearly hasn’t blacklisted the topic which would be a more sensible and classy way to handle things given the situation and the amount of time that’s passed.  There’s no need to talk about Zayn at all really, and yet it keeps coming up.  It just makes all of them look bad, which shouldn’t be the image their teams want for them, and yet…apparently something is more important.

The Promo Connection

More than that, it specifically always seems to come up during promo, for better or worse.  Sometimes the mentions are more positive, but most of the time the narrative takes a sharp turn to the aggressively negative overnight. 

After ranging from positive to neutral when talking about Zayn for years, suddenly during Liam’s first round of promo, things turned quite negative (e.g., wouldn’t save Zayn if he were drowning) and again during this current round of promo (e.g., guess I can talk about this honestly now, etc.).  

After supposedly reconciling about 3 different times (while apparently having no contact positive or negative at all during these years?), Louis’ feelings on Zayn are apparently very negative (e.g. we’re too immature to ever make up) during this current round of promo.  

After not talking about Zayn at all, Harry was suddenly negative during his first round of promo (I think it was the Rolling Stone print interview, but I’m not sure) and brought it up negatively again, unprompted, during this round of promo on SNL.  

It’s not like Zayn ever HAS promo anymore, but when he does have interviews, there’s generally some sort of dig at One Direction somehow (pretty much all print interviews, of course).  

The only one to escape the pattern is Niall, but Teflon Niall is a real thing, enough said. 

It’s ALWAYS during promo for a single or album that things get nasty again.   My best guess is that their teams think that the “feud” = drama = attention = sales.  To me, it seems dumb, repetitive, unrealistic, etc., but I guess a casual fan or the general public wouldn’t follow everything they do, so it’s not as repetitive to that type of consumer.

Conclusion

I am 100% aware of how exhausting, frustrating, and infuriating this whole situation is.  There’s no need for the negativity, it makes no sense, it paints all of the boys in a bad light, it basically requires someone to assume the worst of Zayn in order to believe any of it, and yet there are tons of people who still do believe all of it without any critical thought.

This is why I still write posts like these over and over again.  I have to get those negative emotions out somehow, and the best way for me to feel better is by countering the official narrative by using logic.  It reassures me that even though I’m made to feel like crap about the situation, my initial and continuing judgments about the situation haven’t been wrong.  If you remind yourself of the actual proven characters of the people involved and work things out logically, it’s not dire like all the negativity makes it feel.

When things are loud, they tend to be for show.  That’s what this all is.  This negativity is for show, which means it’s not real.

TLDR;

The fact that there’s still so much public negativity between the boys and Zayn is unrealistic, and therefore suspicious, because:

the boys are too good to be acting like this

this supposed fight would be too intimate and painful to bandy about publicly like this

supposedly the boys haven’t been in contact and so all of this is over a single fight that happened 5 years ago

the boys are too smart to not know that acting like this makes them look bad

their teams have to be in favor of the badmouthing because otherwise they could easily have just not talked about it at all

there’s generally a sharp increase in negativity when one of the boys has single or album promo

there’s more badmouthing of Zayn because it’s framed as 4 v. 1 and also Zayn never has any promo

My conclusion from these points (and also from previous facts and experience) is that the badmouthing isn’t because 1D and Zayn want to be badmouthing each other.  Rather, the drama of the “feud” is being used for promo and possibly other purposes.  I firmly believe that if there were a real falling out, the 1D boys would have handled it far more gracefully than this, given the chance.  

I suppose it’s possible that there was a real fight and that the boys were forced to handle it ungracefully by their team, but I would point to Occam’s Razor.  The simplest explanation that fits ALL the facts related to this situation (from the time of Zayn leaving through now) is that Zayn was forced out of 1D as a stunt and that there was never an actual feud between Zayn and the rest of the boys.

So yes, this situation sucks, but no, I don’t blame either side for it because there are NO sides when there is no actual fight.  I blame old 1DHQ and I blame society in general and I blame the ignorance of the general public.  But I’m not here for them, I’m here for 1D, so I keep my head down and keep waiting for things to get good again.

[formerdirectioner]

Warning: this post is rly fucking long, kinda pointless, and has a suicide attempt mention.

Hi it’s four am and I’m in my feels so I’m gonna share

My senior year of high school my best friend moved away. She was a year older than me so she went to college. And as many people who went to college know, you don’t really keep in contact with your high school friends your freshman year and she went through a whole load of shit that isn’t mine to share that meant she was focused pretty solely on her own life.

And I went to a small town school. You don’t make new cliques senior year. You’ve had those cliques established since 7th grade at the absolute latest. So it’s not like I didn’t have other friends but they were the type of friends I sat with at lunch and talked about one direction with. Some good memories come from those friends.

But I also wasn’t really ~in their group. They talked at lunch about the things they had done that I hadn’t been invited too and so I always felt just a bit on the outside.

So I turned to other friends I had online. And that was good. I met my best friend I still love and cherish to this day that year. I also met a friend I had for five years and who I loved. And then I met this girl named Maggie. I was seventeen, Maggie was around 23. One day, Maggie turned on me. She never told me what I did. I found out years later from someone else that it was because she thought one of our friends liked me more than her.

But she turned on me fast. She started telling all my other friends why I was so awful. She started anonymously posting hate about me and then lying and saying it wasn’t her. She also started anonymously sending hate to herself, and then claimed it Definitely was me. This was just another reason I was so Awful.

And none of my friends wanted to take sides. Maggie had never done anything wrong to them! Besides, it wasn’t a big deal right? Just some internet drama. This cumulated in them all joining a community with Maggie that I wasn’t allowed to join. It got to the point my best friend quit a community we were in and told me it was because her internet didn’t work. It turned out she had actually joined Maggie’s and just didn’t want me to know.

And looking back this all probably seems really dumb and petty right? But as a teenager who was isolated from almost everyone at the time it was a really big deal. I’m not going to get into my home life but know it wasn’t great, we lived in the country, and my only sister is seven years older than me so she has moved out of the house when I was in elementary school. This internet drama and my friends not choosing sides was the start of my mental illness getting really really bad.

Eventually Maggie started doing this to our other friends. They all ended up apologizing to me and saying they were wrong not to take sides and admitting they knew she had been awful to me. They said they wouldn’t do it again.

Less than a year later I was a freshman in college. I had no friends. I’m not exaggerating there. I made no friends my freshman year in college. 2015 was the worst year of my life. I would go to class, come back to my dorm room, and get online. My online friends were my only friends and the only thing I really cared about that year.

And then I met a girl named V. V was 24. I was 18. V had a crush on my girlfriend at the time and she didn’t have a problem with sharing. Publicly. She would post on the Tumblr I, my friends, and my girlfriend followed her on that she was a better choice for my girlfriend and would make posts implying there were feelings between her and my girlfriend but that my girlfriend was staying with me out of a sense of pity.

So I ended up ending that friendship because it was pretty clear she never really cared about my feelings in that matter. After I ended that friendship I was the Bad Guy and she continued to make posts about me and about how I was a bad friend, a bad girlfriend, and a bad person.

My friends again decided they didn’t want to take sides. My girlfriend hated conflict and didn’t want to get involved. She was friends with V and the entire situation made her uncomfortable. Besides, you can’t make someone stop having a crush!

That situation ended in me and my girlfriend breaking up and me being isolated from my best friend. It also led to a suicide attempt in the summer of ‘15.

What happened next was meeting a new girl named Cait. Cait was 23. I was 19. This girl agreed with me that V was out of line. That it was my girlfriend’s loss for losing me. That Maggie had treated me badly and that she would take my side if anything that like happened again.

And so I was starting to get better. I introduced her to another friend I had, the only friend I still had out of my online friend group from my senior year of high school, Monica. Suddenly, I wasn’t important anymore. Monica and Cait became best friends.

This led to a lot of jealousy on my part. Cait and I started fighting over things (and I can admit some of those were my fault) and eventually our friendship ended. Cait started posting on Tumblr about how much she hated me, how she wanted any of our mutual friends to drop me, and how she literally wanted me dead.

My friends, especially Monica, would not take a side. They said she has a right to hurt feelings and lashing out. But if I tried to defend myself by replying to one of her negative posts about me, I was the bad guy for “searching out negativity.” Monica and I kept a rocky friendship for another couple years but it finally ended this year, probably for good.

She decided Cait was better than I am. I’m guessing she realized she couldn’t keep refusing to pick sides. She ended our four year friendship over a tweet about how I don’t like Halsey, because Halsey is Cait’s favorite person. I can’t stand Halsey even more now.

Anyway, during this fighting with Cait and Monica I got very depressed. I stopped going to classes. This was only a couple of months after my suicide attempt and I ended up failing an entire semester of college. My dad gave me an ultimatum to get better or move back home.

Thankfully I reconnected with my best friend around this time. I also became friends with a girl named Kim who had also been fucked over by Maggie. I reached out to her when I heard what happened and told her I was on her side. I’m still friends with her and there’s been absolutely no drama between us.

Anyway, I became lucky enough that I met real life friends that year. They’re my best friends to this day. I have birthday plans with them on the 9th. They’ve saved me a lot more than they’ll ever realize, I think.

Real life friendships are a lot less toxic than online friendships, but things still happen. One of my friends is still close (or was, at least, I’m not sure they are anymore) to my former roommate who I don’t like. It makes things awkward. When she was supposed to come over after hanging out with the roommate one day the roommate purposefully made her late in the hopes she’d end up not coming over.

In a perfect world she’d drop her. I know she won’t. I’m not going to end our friendship over it. But if just reinforces the philosophy I created for myself in 2014: If someone mistreats one of my friends or loved ones, I don’t want them in my life.

And that probably won’t ever change for me. You may find it silly or want to slap some sense into me but just having people on my side would have changed so much of those worst two years of my life. So even if you may not think things are a big deal, I probably will feel differently.

Anyway. I would put this under a cut if I could but I can’t because it’s mobile. I kinda hope no one actually reads it but it’s 4:30 and I can’t sleep and I needed to write this down somehow so. Might as well put it out there since I over share anyway and there’s basically a spread out timeline of all of this happening on my personal. 🤷🏼‍♀️

[ts1989fanatic]

ts1989fanatic Sorry about posting this but it pissed me off so much I had to share it with other or have my head explode. I’m pretty sure I have seen other Daily Beast articles in the past by this same so called writer that were just as critical (WRONGLY) of Taylor Swift.

It’s Time for Taylor Swift to Denounce Her Neo-Nazi Admirers

The pop superstar is worshipped as an ‘Aryan goddess’ by the white supremacist community. In the wake of Charlottesville, the least she could do is speak out.

In a world overrun by the idiotic and underqualified, it’s tempting to credit public figures with nonexistent cunning or forethought.

As nice as it is to imagine that the president of the United States isn’t just “ad-libbing” on North Korea, the facts maintain that there isn’t any sort of political chess at play here—everyone and everything really is as dumb as it seems.

With one exception. In an era of unbridled ids, impetuous boys, and impromptu boasts, there is one woman who is consistently 10 steps ahead: a pop music Machiavelli and Svengali of mutually beneficial relationships who also happens to be a pretty talented EDM scribe.

Naturally we’re talking about Taylor Alison Swift (alias: Nils Sjoberg), a 27-year-old singer-songwriter with a rare talent for self-preservation. Taylor Swift famously maintains strict control over her brand, and has been criticized in the past for her superficiality and attention to detail. From drafting an A-list squad of giraffe-legged pals to threatening to take legal action against some ardent fans on Etsy, Swift seems like a woman who knows exactly what she wants. Taylor Swift might look like a harmless, sugary-sweet pop princess, but make no mistake: This woman keeps Ryan Reynolds’ soul in a calligraphy-labeled Mason jar on her Rhode Island estate. She is not fucking around.

Somehow, through sheer strength of will, Taylor Swift convinced her millions of fans that she was a very sweet and chill girl next door. She realized that feminism was in and began marketing herself as a proponent of girl power, a victim of narcissistic and entitled dudes who would, nevertheless and against all odds, persist. But Swift’s delicate house of vaguely feminist aphorisms and carefully posed lady-Instagrams came tumbling down last summer, when Kim Kardashian outed Swift on Snapchat. The details of that social media checkmate—Swift condemned Kanye’s lyrics, harnessed this victimhood for her public image, was thwarted by leaked footage of Kanye running the track by her in the studio and then reduced to a Notes app statement—are already the stuff of legend. It was the “Kim you’re doing amazing sweetie” heard ’round the world. Unexpectedly pushed into an abyss of unlikability and overexposure, Swift quickly went into crisis/self-imposed exile mode: R.I.P. Hiddleswift, highly publicized squad parties, post-workout crab walks, and the days of underestimating Mrs. Kim Kardashian West.

Luckily for those of us with an appetite for drama and Tracy Flick-style anti-heroines, Taylor Swift plays a long game. Last week, Swift made her first major move since the summer of her Snapchat discontent, testifying in court against former radio DJ David Mueller. The jury ultimately sided with Swift, who alleged that Mueller had “intentionally reached under [Swift’s] skirt, and groped with his hand an intimate part of her body in an inappropriate manner, against her will, and without her permission” during a 2013 meet-and-greet. What happened to Swift was horrible and, as her suit stresses, against her will. But how the pop star chose to present herself in court worked completely to her advantage. When asked about her knowledge of police procedurals, Swift joked about her love of Law & Order: SVU—relatable! When pressed on why no one else witnessed the groping, Swift countered, “Because my ass is located in the back of my body.” Humor, wit, poise, just enough venom and an anatomy lesson to boot? Is it just me, or is 2017 “taking the stand” Taylor Swift actually likable?

At a time when many of us are just barely surviving off a steady diet of revenge fantasies and rage, it makes perfect sense for Swift to rebrand herself a pretty blonde vengeance demon. Why be a saccharine singer-songwriter when you can be an Arya Stark? Likability is so close that TayTay can probably taste it, and I think I’ve come up with a way to finally put her over the edge: All Taylor Swift has to do is denounce neo-Nazis.

Denouncing neo-Nazis might sound like a low bar or a meaningless declaration—if you don’t happen to be rocking a Fred Perry polo and holding a tiki torch your buddy Cole picked up for you at Party City and/or the president of the United States, you should have no problem condemning Nazism. And why should a pop singer have to personally clarify her position on white supremacy? This question would be perfectly valid if we were talking about Selena Gomez, Katy Perry, Beyoncé, or any other major female celebrity who hasn’t been heralded in certain dark corners of the internet as an Aryan princess/secret neo-Nazi. Unfortunately, Taylor Swift has long taken on a starring role in some pretty sick Nazi fan fiction.

In an in-depth 2016 Broadly article, neo-Nazi Andrew Anglin of The Daily Stormer explained Swift’s fashy appeal: “Firstly, Taylor Swift is a pure Aryan goddess, like something out of classical Greek poetry. Athena reborn. That’s the most important thing,” Anglin insisted. “It is also an established fact that Taylor Swift is secretly a Nazi and is simply waiting for the time when Donald Trump makes it safe for her to come out and announce her Aryan agenda to the world. Probably, she will be betrothed to Trump’s son, and they will be crowned American royalty.”

Now, it follows that Swift wouldn’t want to dignify these lunatic ravings with a response, or spend any more time than absolutely necessary contemplating a relationship with either of Donald Trump’s large adult sons. But at a certain point—preferably before a white supremacist website publishes dozens of posts praising her Aryan bloodline—it might behoove a celebrity to publicly condemn the racist anti-Semites who are claiming her as their queen. People like Anglin seem to genuinely believe that Swift will be on their side come race war Armageddon. And now that Nazis and counter-protestors are actually fighting in the streets, there’s no time like the present for Taylor Swift to finally come out as anti-Nazi.

After an act of domestic terrorism in Charlottesville left one woman dead, The Daily Stormer—aka Taylor Swift’s unofficial fan site—mocked the victim of the white nationalist attack. For GoDaddy, The Daily Stormer’s obscene and disturbing language was enough to convince them to finally dump the neo-Nazi website. Taylor Swift needs to get in on all this Nazi condemnation action. Why should Jennifer Lawrence get all the likes?

Now, in the past, Swift has scrupulously avoided any sort of political statement. She expresses her “feminism” through sanitized non-statements like, “I’m proud to be a woman today, and every day.” Not only did she refuse to endorse a presidential candidate—she wouldn’t even denounce the candidate who was accused of serial sexual assault. Given Swift’s history of failing to do the bare minimum, and her past swastika mini-scandal, it’s unlikely that she’ll make an anti-Nazi statement. Then again, the bar has never been so low. No one is expecting Taylor Swift to go on the campaign trail for Kamala Harris or exhibit a working knowledge of intersectionality—just to condemn the neo-Nazi community that’s already claimed her as one of their own.

Say it after me, TayTay: “I, Taylor Swift, denounce Nazis. And I am not attracted to Eric Trump.”

ts1989fanatic THIS IS TOTAL BULLSHIT AND Taylor should ignore this crap.