#youve been parking in my spot and ikeyed your car and you caught me

[purplenerd777]

Meet Ugly

You know, instead of editing my BB or working on my BTHB prompts, I wrote this because @hazel-athena put ideas into my head. Enjoy:

“Can I borrow a knife?” Josh asks, which he thinks is more than enough for him to be given what he wants.

“No.” Billy replies calmly, asshole that he is, as he twirls one of his many in his hand.

“Why the fuck not? You can spare one!” Josh exclaims as he throws his helmet down before glaring out his window at the offending monstrosity.

“I’m not going to let you dull a knife for this.” Billy says.

“You’re an asshole.” Josh spits as he continues to glare at the car parked in his spot.

“Sure. But I’m not the one who wants to key a car with his roommates knives.” Billy stands and leaves the room.

“Fine! I’ll bet Red will help me.” Josh calls as the door slams shut to Billy’s room. He turns around and deflates when he sees that his roommate took whatever knives were in the vicinity. One may think that having a roommate with an impressive knife collection would be cause for concern, but really most of them are just decoration that Goodnight gets Billy when he’s on buisness trips.

“Help with what?” Red asks as he enters the kitchen. Either summoned by his name or the commotion Josh doesn’t really care.

“I’m gonna teach the son of a bitch a lesson.” Josh reigns himself in from snarling at his second roommate, because he can recognise that Red has done nothing wrong, yet.

“How do you know it’s a guy?” Red asks, and the fake innovent look on his face is enough to make Josh no longer consider being nice to him.

“Who cares what they are! I’m keying their car that’ll teach them.” Josh fumes.

“This is going to end well.” Red mutters, but Josh ignores the kid as he grabs his Harley’s keys and heads out of the apartment once more.

It’s nearing midnight anyway so it’s not like anyone will see him.

That is until he nearly runs into Alejandro Vasquez, sexiest neighbour that Josh has ever had the misfortune to have.

“Evening, guero.” Vasquez says sunnily, his grin lighting up his face and it makes Josh’s knees go weak.

He shakes it off and sticks his keys into his back pocket. “Going somewhere?” Josh asks and he really doesn’t mean for there to be a leer in his voice, but him and Vasquez have come to an agreement over the past six months.

“Hm?” Vasquez looks like he’s just shaken himself out of a stupor but Josh is too busy thinking about what he’s going to key to notice.

“You going out?” Josh repeats.

“No, no. I just heard yelling and was worried Rocks finally stabbed you.” He leans up easily against the doorframe to his apartment causing his form fitting henley to ride up so that Josh can appreciate the V where his neighbour’s abs meet the beginning of his pelvis.

Josh shakes his head and forces himself to meet Vasquez’s eyes. Only causing him to short circuit a bit when he can see sparks of laughter. “No, not yet.” He coughs to clear his throat. “Won’t be able to get rid of me that easily.”

Vasquez hums before giving a slight wave. “Well goodnight guero.”

Vasquez shuts the door to his apartment with the two on opposite sides before Josh’s brain is able to communicate to his mouth so he only manages to say “Goodnight.” to the door.

“You’re so fucked.” Red’s voice says from behind him.

“Will you shut up.” Josh hisses on the off chance that Vasquez is only just on the other side of the door.

“Nah.” The kid replies as he shuts the door behind him.

“What are you doing?” Josh asks as he begins to head down the stairs to do what he originally set out to do.

“making sure you don’t go full Carrie Underwood on it.” Red says smugly and as Josh turns a scandalous look at him, he looms a couple steps behind him, producing his phone with the group chat and a warning from Goodnight.

“This isn’t like that.” Josh rumbles lowly in his chest as he continues to storm down the stairs. He’ll deal with his so called friends later.

“Sam said to tell you that he won’t bail you out if you get caught.” Red informs him as they walk out of the complex. Josh tries, and fails to ignore him.

“Yeah well I won’t get caught.” Josh states assuredly and wishes he was a less superstitious man.

“Sure.” Red shrugs and glances at the offending car. “You said it was hideous.” The other man frowns slightly in pain at what’s about to happen probably.

“Look, it’s a great car but if the owner liked it so much they wouldn’t fuck with me.” Josh grumbles as he digs Maria’s keys out of his back pocket and brandishing them the way Billy would a knife. “And ask Goodnight for a pompous way of saying fuck off, would you.” Josh orders as he kneels next to the car.

“I can’t watch this.” Red frowns and crosses his arms over his chest.

Josh sighs. “Then leave. I’m not letting the make and model of the car dissuade me, the jackass will only need a paint job when I’m done.”

Red’s frown deepens and he eventually sighs and walks away.

“Just you and me.” Josh says as he puts metal key to beautiful paint.

He’s just about to finish when he hears a litany of angry Spanish that makes him spin and almost causes him to drop his keys.

His heart leaps to his throat when he watches Vasquez’s cigar drop to the ground in shock as its owner storms over to Josh and tears him away from the car.

“What are you doing, pendejo?” Vasquez exclaims loudly, and it wasn’t until the loss of guero did Josh realise that it was his.

“What does it look like?” Josh asks hotly. because yeah, fuck maybe he screwed up his chances with Vasquez, eternally hot neighbour, but once Josh digs a grave he’ll lie in it and bury himself too.

“You’re keying up my Maria!” Vasquez cries and he sounds so anguished.

“Wait, Maria?” Josh asks, because what are the odds that they both named their prized cars after the same name.

“You heard me.” vasquez growls lowly and he then ignores Josh in favour of kneeling next to the Pontiac and closely examining the damage.

Josh sighs and runs his hand through his hair. “I’ll pay for the paint job. Or better yet, come by the garage tomorrow and I’ll do it for free.” His shoulders slump in defeat before backing away from a wounded man and his battered car, “Or I can give you a referral if you don’t want to see me.”

He makes his hasty retreat and he pretends he doesn’t hear Vasquez call after him.

Although as he slams the door to his apartment shut behind him, he figures that maybe he should have stuck around in case Vasquez needed to hit him. Cause Josh could recognise that he deserved it.

“Well?” Billy asks, and from his spot on the couch Josh can see that he’s Face-timing Goodnight from wherever he is.

“The damn thing was Vasquez’s.” Josh explains miserably.

Predictably Billy and Red are unsympathetic and Goodnight goes on a thirty minute diatribe about revenge and taking the law into your own hands, but Josh zones out five minutes in.

“Yeah well I offered to pay for it or do it for free, if he ever wants to see me again.” Josh sighs as he drags a hand through his ginger curls. “Hey Goodnight you take my room and I’ll move in with Sam and Horne.” Josh pleads, and predictably Goodnight goes on another rant.

Finally, Josh is able to slip into his room and he attempts to get some sleep before he has to start his new life with the idea of his neighbour, who he probably did have a chance with before this shitshow, hates his guts. And rightly so.

——————————————————————————————————————

The next morning he’s in the garage being scolded by both Sam and Horne when a familiar purr makes him lift his head.

“What the hell did you do, Son?” Sam asks casting him an incredulous look as a very familiar Pontiac pulls into the garage.

“Um-“ Josh begins eloquently, but Sam abandons him before he can formulate an actual reply.

“Morning, guero.” Vasquez calls awful cheerily for someone who needs a serious paint job done on their car. What’s more the man has two large cups of coffee in his hands, and a bag full of pastries that are freshly baked, so much so that Josh can smell it over the oil and gas in the garage.

“Did you forget what I said last night?” Josh asks, and then immediately wants to bury himself in a hole as Horne sighs audibly from his station.

“No.” Vasquez shoots him a smile that Josh never thought he would be graced with again.

And again, rightly so Josh thinks.

“Do you want Jack to do the work? I understand if you don’t want me-“ He’s cut off by Sam throwing a pen at him, which he barely manages to doge.

“Oh, you’re doing this for free, querido.” Vasquez informs him as he hands him a cup of coffee. And Josh practically melts at taste of his regular.

“I’m sensing a but.” Josh says, and he feels himself easily slip back into his flirtatious mannerisms.

He wants to knock himself out of it, but if anything Vasquez seems appreciative of it.

“Yes.” He replies as he takes a sip of his own drink. Josh crowds into his space, and it’s the reminder of why the other man is here that causes him to back off. But he’s stopped by a soft look from Vasquez, Alejandro. “You, in addition to fixing Maria for free, are going to go on a date with me.”

Josh is too busy being surprised at the fact that they’ve named their car the same thing to notice Alejandro’s additional request.

“Say something.” Jack says as he shoves a clipboard into Josh’s chest almost causing him to spill his coffee down his shirt.

“Huh? Wait.” Josh goes bright red and he notices a slight flush to Alejandro’s ears as well, but the man’s natural tan hides it much better than Josh’s Irish complexion.

“I’ll pick you up and afterwards I won’t park in your spot.” Alejandro promises.

Josh breaks into a grin. “It’s a date.”

——————————————————————————————————————

Two years down the road he’s ecstatic if a bit annoyed at the idea of having to fix it, when Ale brings Maria into be serviced for a paint job with the words: Marry Me? carved into her side with a tool other than a key.

But Josh is too busy kissing his fiancée to get mad at Billy’s double standard.