#yumi.posts

[yumi-hakoi]

Soulmate Initial- [Feat. Mito]

Madara:- Hey Hashirama, do you know that peoples' soulmates' first initial is on their left hand's thumb? Mine is H- Tobirama:- Now is this poor pitiful girl named Haruki or some? Poor her for having a soulmate like you. Izuna:- Ignore him, brother. Hashirama:- Ohhh, I want to know what's mine! It is hmm...M? Then it is...It's you Madara! Your name starts with M! Madara:- I knew it! Get that load of shit in your head Tobirama. Your anija and me are soulmates, beat it. Mito, watching her husband from afar saying that his bestfriend is his soulmate because his name starts with M ignoring the fact that his wife's name also starts with M:- Nice. You seeing that shit, Tobirama? Tobirama:- *sighs* Yes.

[yumi-hakoi]

Madara:- What are you thinking so deeply about, Hashirama? Hashirama:- O-Oh, J-Just nothing- Madara:- Stop acting so weird and suspicious and tell me. Hashirama:- Well...Uhm- It's quite inappropriate- Madara:- Just tell me... Hashirama:- Fine...Is it possible to fuck in a genjutsu? Madara:- ...

[yumi-hakoi]

Madara x Reader (One-Shots) [2/?]

18+ Content, Read at your own Risk- TW:- Unhealthy Relationship (?), Oral Sex, Degrading, FaceFucking, Masturbation, Choking, Hair Pulling, Etc. Word Count:- 1.2K [Including Author's Notes & Description] [Author's Note:- Both of the characters are 18+, Proper Adults. Please don't read if you are uncomfortable with such stuff and please do ignore grammatical errors/mistakes, I get lazy to re-check for mistakes-] Description:- Reader is in a military school and has low grades and Madara is one of the professors. So you know how it goes- You please him in order to pass in tests/exams. Idea suggested by @anxiousgoddest

Madara had an important meeting with a lieutenant, He was sitting in his office grading everyone's marks when you came in. "What do you want [Y/N]?" He asked as you stared at him awkwardly knowing it was past bed time which was like 9:30PM and here you are at 10:23PM. "Well I...The last semester is coming up and the marks of the first semester and others are totaled to the final result and I...I didn't do the previous semesters really good, I barely passed-" "So you want me to change the grades?" He cut you off and you were just there standing awkwardly hanging your head low not knowing what to say next.

He sighed and said, "I have a meeting with the lieutenant at 10:30PM. Well..." "Well?" You asked shyly looking up to him. "Well you see-" He stopped talking as he heard footsteps approaching the door, You didn't know what to do and looked at him asking for help. He sighed and motioned you to get down his desk and you quickly followed his orders. "Just be quiet. Hope you could do that at least." He said with a slight mockery intended. He didn't look at you when he said it, He felt kind of rude and looked down at you and he was able to see your breasts from such an angle that it turned him on. Then you both heard a knock at the door. "Are you there Professor Mads?" The lieutenant asked while slowly opening the door. "I told you to not call me that Lieutenant." Madara said frowning. "But you look mad all the time haha." He replied. Madara surely didn't like his stupid jokes, You thought while looking up to find a boner and blushed deeply. What is he so hard for? Is he into the Lieutenant or some? Do they have a illegal relationship? Is he cheating on him with me? But he is so ugly for Madara, Madara is like the most hot professor you could ever find. He is the hottest person in fact- So many thoughts running through your head and jealousy was one of them, Which you didn't thought you had. I mean you were just pleasing him to get good grades so your parents won't be disappointed in you? What you feeling jealous for? But looking at his boner made you feel wet and horny for absolute no reason. You definitely wanted to be the only one to please him, After all he is your first. He did take your virginity- You heard them both talking as the Lieutenant sat down on one of the chairs, He was making his awful jokes as Madara who didn't even make any facial expressions just stared at him. He looked down at you only to find you staring back at him and his eyes kept wandering near your chests which were exposed to him in such an awful manner that could seduce any man in the world. Feeling himself get more hard, He looked up. "Can we just get to the business?" Madara asked annoyed by his jokes. "Haha sure Mads, What you getting so upset for?" He replied with that stupid nickname, It isn't that stupid but it doesn't sound good from his mouth. They started talking real business now and you were just staring at his hard boner which was now visible. Damn that 8 inches long dick, How lucky am I to have that in me? You thought with your lewd thoughts, Your hands uncontrollably roaming around his thighs. As soon as he felt hands on his legs, He looked down which only made him more horny to find you being so lewd in such a place and situation, Which could expose you both. That risk made him the horniest he could ever be. He was definitely gonna give you a rough night after that damn lieutenant left. You took it as a hint to continue. Madara looked up to not look suspicious and continued talking but damn, How could he concentrate when there's some hot stuff under his desk getting him so hard? You unbuckled his belt as quietly as you could. The lieutenant's voice is loud enough to cover it. You thought while Madara helped you with the pants and the boxers. Damn that 8 inches long dick, You wanted it more in you than it in your mouth. But you had to wait and taste him to get more ready for him to take you for a long rough night afterwards. You touched the tip and slowly stroked him. You could feel his right hand holding your hair. You licked the top and his grip on your hair slightly tightened. You opened your mouth and put half of his dick in your mouth, You definitely can't take full of him in one move so, Slowly sucking on it. Tasting him and groaning as you felt yourself get more wet and horny. Your right hand traveled to your panties, Slowly and quietly removing it. Touching yourself while sucking him, You could feel him pulsating in your mouth. His grip on your tightened more and he shoved himself more deep in your throat, You groaned quietly circling circles on your clit. Madara tried to talk less as possible because he felt

himself losing control and groaning because of your pretty mouth doing some dirty illegal business down there. Just the mere thought of getting caught, Enticed him more. He tried to make the talk quick as possible with the lieutenant. You took more of him and giving him a deep throat while thrusting two fingers in yourself, Quietly groaning. Seeing your pretty face unable to please yourself when you are sucking his big dick. Slightly biting his dick and quickly finishing him off. Madara's grip on your hair tightened as he facefucked you. Groaning increasing, Your fingers craving for climax. Feeling that coil in your lower stomach, Crying for release. As he shoved himself one last time deep in your throat, He released himself in your mouth. "T-Take it. Take it all. M-Make sure there is no single drop getting wasted of mine-" Madara said groaning loudly, His mouth left opened at his immense pleasure. Your mouth choking at his dick and his semen, Your right hand working immensely down there. As you finally gulped down his cum, You felt your climax edging so close- Madara pulled your right hand away from pleasing yourself. You choked and looked up with tears in the corner of your eyes. You wiped your mouth waiting for an answer. "Well some dirty little girl who is fucking her professor for getting good grades surely doesn't need to have everything she so desires for? You are going to have a rough night woman, Then only you can have your "good grades" and your sweet release." [Author's Note:- Haha, This is not that good as you all expected. Sorry to disappoint you all- I did put all my hardwork into this and I'm too lazy to write, Unless you suggest me really good ideas. Like this person did as I mentioned above, I did put my brain into this and I know this is better than my "1st Madara Smut."] [I'm always here, Constantly daydreaming about Madara :)]

[yumi-hakoi]

[Some Cold Night]

Madara:- It's kinda cold. Hashirama:- Here, Take my jacket! Madara:- Aw, I love you. Hashirama:- God, We are such a perfect couple... Izuna:- [looks at Tobirama] I'm cold, too. Tobirama:- Well damn Izuna, I can't control the fucking weather!

[yumi-hakoi]

If the Founders went to School/College-

Teacher:- ...And that's how beaches are formed. Name some beaches and where they are from. Tobirama:- Whitehaven Beach in Australia. Hashirama:- Ruby Beach in Washington. Madara:- Mito from Uzumaki clan. Mito:- ... Izuna:- Brother... Teacher:- Detention, Madara Uchiha! Madara:- Hmph, Whatever- Hashirama:- *is a little confused but he's got the spirit*

[yumi-hakoi]

Madara x Reader (One-Shots) [1/?]

18+ Content, Read at your own Risk- TW: Breeding, Overstimulation, Non-Consensual, Etc. Word Count:- 1.6K [Not much, But it's honest work-( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)] [Edit:- I wrote this in October 2021, and this is super cringe and embarrassing, I have no idea why this has so many likes-]

It's been two weeks since the Madara Uchiha has been revived by a secret forbidden jutsu only your clan held which is now long dead, You were the only surviving member of the clan and was forced to join the Akatsuki and help them revive Madara with no sacrifices. You were told to keep in check with Madara and make sure he is okay because they themselves were quite suspicious of the secret forbidden jutsu that your clan held. It was late evening as you walked through the corridor to get to his room. You sighed as you got closer to his room for the daily checkup. Why do I have to do this again?  You thought as you reached out for the handle to open the door. Just as you opened, You froze in shock. You say him shirtless with some dark grey pants on, You awed at how hot and sexy his body looked. You were quickly snapped from your lewd thoughts as you heard him growl at you. You were about to leave when he stopped you by roughly pulling your hand and bringing you closer to him.

"I-I'm sorry, I didn't m-meant to walk on you l-like this!" You said stammering with your eyes shut. You were quite afraid of him because he was wayyy to suspicious of you and never really talked with you. His eyes were always glued to you and your body whenever you checkup-ed on him. Your breath hitched in your throat as he shoved you against the wall and brought his face closer to yours. "Oh, I don't believe you, You must have some ulterior motives. I have never trusted you, No one can be revived without a sacrifice. You revived with me with some suspicious jutsu which had no sacrifice!" He said with his deep voice. "I-I swear, I didn't have a-any ulterior m-motives!" You quickly said as soon as he finished his words, Your eyes still shut. "Mhmmm...You are one of the most stupidest people I have ever met. Do you really think I would really care if someone walked on me naked or shirtless?" He said scoffing while backing away from you. You saw his smirk, He was just toying with me? "Now, Come here and get that damn checkup thing over already." You were still up against the wall, Like checking up on him when he's shirtless? Is he fucking serious?  You weren't able to process what was happening with you right now. "Huh? Are you being shy now?" He said with an annoyed expression, But that soon turned into a creepy smile as he eyed your trembling body. What? He walked up to you and slammed his both arms around you, Giving you no possible ways to escape from him. "Awww...If you feel so awkward with me being shirtless, Let's make you shirtless too so that you won't be shy and uncomfortable with me~" He hummed as his hands ripped your shirt off your body before you could even process what was happening. You screamed when you realized he tore your shirt apart from your body. "W-What is wrong with you, Madara?!" You yelled at him but regretted it. You noticed how hungrily his eyes looked at you, Quite lustfully. He roughly grabbed the back of your head and pulled you into a rough kiss. He forced his tongue inside your mouth and played with your tongue as you tried to push him away, But he was way stronger of course. His hands snaked around your body and soon went to your back to unhook your bra, You pulled away from the kiss and tried to run away from him but he was fast. He pulled your arm and threw you into his bed and hovered over your shirtless self. You tried to cover your chest but he quickly he got your hands and pinned them to your sides. "Now this way, You won't be shy." He smirked as you tried to kick him off. "S-Stop! What is wrong with you? W-Why are you doing this?!" You tried to be reason with him but he just looked at you and smirked. He rubbed his right knee against your somewhat wet cunt and simply said, "Ah~ Being dead for so long could make a man quite lustful and touch-starved, You know?" You stared at him with tears in your eyes. "Oh don't worry, I will let to you have some fun too after all I'm not that unreasonable." He said leaning down before starting to kiss your neck and going down to suck and bite your collarbone. You shuddered at his touches, You felt weird and wet down there...It was a very foreign feeling which you never felt. I mean you did know this feeling was called lust but you never expected him to be the one to make you feel this way. You unknowingly submitted to his request or more of a command should I say? He went down to your chest, He grabbed your right breast with his left hand and pinched your soft bud earning a soft moan from your mouth. As he worked on your right breast, He went to your other breast and sucked on it. You moaned and gripped the bedsheets lightly. After he was satisfied torturing your poor soft buds. He went more down and spread your legs open for him to see what's down there but rather forcefully. [I will not say that "n" word...It makes me feel very weird and gives me anxiety. ;-;] He stared at your soaked panties and smirked, You felt embarrassed and wanted to shut your legs but you couldn't as he held your inner thighs open very-roughly, to the

point they would leave marks. He pulled down your panties and started to eat you out. You moaned out loudly and grabbed his head and pinned your nails into it. You didn't know what you were trying to do, Trying to push him away because it feels too good or weird? Or trying to make him do more things to you because it feels good? He slipped his tongue in you and shoved it out and in, Till you came twice. He pulled his tongue out and slipped his two fingers in and started to move them and put an another finger to the digit. You cried out of overstimulation, He lapped up your juices by licking it up and gave your sensitive clit a few licks. You came again and probably again. You couldn't process anything that was happening right now.

You were a moaning mess, You couldn't count how many times you have came by now. Like 3 or 4 times by now? He was overstimulating you and pushing you over the edge, Your brain was a mess just like you. You finally got up and pulled him up from your dripping wet pussy and kissed him, "J-Just get to it already, I c-can't. It's too much s-stimulation-" You stammered out. He smirked and replied, "I'm too big for your little pussy Darling, I was trying to get you enough wet till I can go in easily." You huffed at him, He stared at your overstimulated trembling body. As you noticed how big the bulge was in his pants, He noticed you staring at his bottom and smirked. He took off his pants and his boxers and took off your skirt as well, As he just took off your panties not your skirt. You stared at his member at awe, Like how is it so fucking long and big?!  You thought with your mouth apart, He took that opportunity and pulled you into a deep kiss. After he pulled away, He pushed you down on the bed and spread your legs and put them on his shoulder. He slowly pushed his member in your wet pussy, You groaned at how big it was. Even though you were dripping wet and it still had problems going in you, It stretched you so much. You could hear him grunting, As he was running out of patience and he shoved it in with a single swift move. You cried out and wrapped your arms around his neck, "F-Fuck you are s-so tight-" He grumbled and plunged his member inside and out of you. Your legs slipped off his shoulders and wrapped around his waist as he roughly kept thrusting in you. You came quite fast because of the overstimulation from before, As he still kept going on. But you were getting turned on again by hearing his deep groans of pleasure, They were quite hot. After a while, His movements got sloppier and sloppier and you both knew that he was near his edge. Just after a few more thrusts, He came hard and as well as you came too from the pressure of feeling his warm seed inside you. You both panted heavily as he fell on top of you. "Y-You came in me-" You said while panting as he replied, "Yeah so what, Woman? You are not gonna get pregnant in just one time, You know?" You sighed and said, "You never k-know Madara, I don't t-take such chances." He scoffed at your words and simply said, "I wouldn't mind making a pretty lady like you pregnant." You blushed deeply at his comment. After a while, He pulled out and laid beside you. He pulled you in his embrace and held you close to him as he closed his eyes and said, "Goodnight." You hummed tiredly and slept in his arms not realizing that you were supposed to do a checkup on him, Not fucking with him. [Hah, Finally~ I'm done with this one-shot. Just came up with this before sleeping last night, Possibly day-dreaming or night-dreaming that he did this to me. God, I need help.] [Please comment or request in the ask box for what you would like to have for the next one-shot! Love ya'll~ (´▽`ʃ♡ƪ)]

[yumi-hakoi]

Hashirama x Reader (One-Shot) Birthday Special~ (ﾉ◕ヮ◕)ﾉ*:･ﾟ✧

18+ Content, Please read at your risk- TW:- Breeding, Kinda Rough Sex, Cockroach's Death [R.I.P] 〒▽〒 Word Count:- 1.3K [Not much, I know-╰（‵□′）╯] It's our optimistic boy's birthday! We definitely need a smut for him, Don't we? Of course we do! I kind of rushed this because I had a lot of incomplete notes to do and stuff. So if you find any mistakes, Please tell me in the comments~! And this is Modern Hashirama of our time, He is so fucking adorable~!!! (´▽`ʃ♡ƪ)

You were sitting at the dining table waiting for your lover. You sighed as you saw the time, 8:45PM. He's late again?! You wanted to enjoy halloween with your lover but he seems to never have time for you, He is just busy with his office work. You saw the food run cold, You made variety of food for your dinner date but now you don't even know if he's gonna come or not? Sadly you had to cover the food, After you were done keeping the food in the fridge and thought to starve yourself as you didn't wish to eat alone the food you made with so much love for eating with your partner. You were washing your hands as you felt a pair of arms wrap around your waist, You sighed knowing who it was. Hardly trying to hide your sadness, You turned around and smiled sadly at him.

"I'm sorry, Darling...I just-" "No, It's alright Hashi. I know your work and your meetings are more important than me, So you don't need to say anything." You cut your lover's words off. He frowned knowing he can't make it up to you as it was the 9th? No, 11th time? He himself lost count of how many times he has done this to you. You shrugged him off yourself and tried to leave the kitchen as he grabbed your wrist. "I'm really sorry (Y/N), I tried so hard to remember it but I-...I just forgot it again. How can I make it up to you, Love? I will really remember it next time, I promise!!!" You cringed at his words, How many times has he said this to you and always did the same thing. "Don't you get embarrassed saying the same words and again repeating your mistakes, Hashi?" He felt really awful and it was quite visible on his face as he can't hide his emotions. You closed your eyes and sighed again, He left your hand as you tried walking away again. You saw a cockroach, "AHHH, HASHI!!! COCKROACH!!!" He flinched at your unexpected words and saw where you were pointing at. Above the sink? He quickly took your slipper and slapped the cockroach dead. You stared at him. "Hashi! My slipper! Why would you kill it with my favorite slipper! Just how dare you?!" You screamed at him as he realized that he killed the cockroach with your slipper. "Oh...Sorry? I didn't realize that it was yours, Why aren't you wearing it tho? The floor is quite cold, You know?" Oh wait..."That isn't the topic, Hashi! I mean...I don't know, I didn't realize that I was barefoot...Either ways, Throw that thing away and clean it's mess! It's your punishment!" He sighed at your words and got to the work. "Alright, Just reheat the food. I will clean it up and take a quick shower..." "Fine..." You replied. He cleaned the cockroach mess and left to take a quick shower. You got to your work. After a while, You were done reheating the food and just had to nicely set up the dining table. You felt a pair of arms wrap around you again. "Hashi, Go wear some clothes now. You will get a cold." You said while getting the pasta on the plate. But he just ignored your words and snuggled into your neck, kissed your weak spots and left a few hickeys. You shivered at his unexpected actions. "H-Hashi...This is not the time-" "But I'm in the mood! And it's been weeks since we last did it!" He cut you off. You sighed at your lover's childness, You wanted to turn around and kick him off you but he was strong. His hands snaked around your body and went in your clothes, One under your shirt and one under your skirt. You trembled at his touches. He grabbed your left breast and massaged it and while his right hand under your skirt, Rubbed your clit. You moaned as he left more hickeys on your neck. He moved your panties to the side and put his 2 fingers in and slowly moved them. You quickly kept the pasta in the plate and kept the plate on the kitchen slap knowing he would get what he want. His other hand pinched your nipples. You moaned and arched your back. His hands moving faster now, You held on to kitchen slap for support. You were getting close. "H-Hashi, I'm c-close..." You moaned out to him, "I know, Love." He replied adding one more finger and going more rougher until you came. You were panting as you came while he quickly undressed you. [Guess, I will say "n" word. Sorry if this is too short or sum...I just wrote what came to my mind. ;-;] He bend you over the kitchen slap as your breasts came in contact with coldness of it. He held your hips high and positioned himself near your entrance and slowly slipped himself in. You moaned and arched your back more to give him an easy entrance, "I-I don't h-have time, H-Hashi...D-Do it fast-" As soon as your words finished, He thrusted himself in with one single move. You moaned out loud, "H-Hashi! W-What are you d-doing?!" "Yes my love? You are the one who told me to go fast and have no mercy on you?" He replied while roughly pounding into you from behind. "I-I didn't say h-have no mercy?!" You moaned feeling him hit your

G-spot. He chuckled behind you, "I took-it that way." You thought he would be soft because of the current situation but seems like he gonna show his dom side right now. "H-Hashi, I d-don't remember f-forgiving you for b-being late!" He slightly groaned behind you and answered, "But I thought my punishment was over? I killed the cockroach and c-cleaned the m-mess up t-too-" He stammered at his last words as he felt you wrap tightly around his cock knowing you were close. "F-Fuck, So f-fast huh?" He groaned feeling himself close too. He roughly grabbed your hair and pushed you more downwards to get a better position. You moaned out loud feeling the cold kitchen slap pressed hard against your breasts. He kept roughly thrusting into you as you came. He still pounding into you chasing his own release. His movements got sloppier for a second as he came hard into you. He took his hand off your hips and held onto the kitchen slap for support. "H-Hashi, I t-told you, I don't l-like it w-when you c-came in me..." You said panting heavily. "But I d-don't think it w-will affect our b-baby?" He replied still trying to catch his breath. You shot up from his words, pushing him off yourself and turned around only to find him smirking at you. "W-When did you?" You asked kind of tearing up not expecting him to find out about you being pregnant with his child so soon, You wanted to surprise him today at the dinner date but he ruined it by not coming at time. He giggled and wrapped you in a hug. "I found the pregnancy test while taking a shower! I'm going to be father! Imagine little versions of ourselves running around!" He squealed from excitement and paused, "You wanted to surprise me tonight?" He asked frowning feeling the guilt from leaving you alone for so long. "It's alright, Hashi. I don't mind you being late sometimes...And I understand your work is important but please try to make some time for us and our future baby?" You replied questioning. "We are going to have more than one, You know?! And of course I will make time for you and our future 5 babies!" He replied excitedly and hugging you more tight. "That's too many...But okay-" You smiled hugging him back, "Oh...I have to clean up again and you too...Mhm~ We can have a second round in the shower, Up for it?" He asked teasingly winking at you. You gave him a weird and disgusted look but said okay as you really felt the need to bath. [Hello my lovely viewers, Sorry this was rushed in one hour. I have too many incomplete notes...I'm dying, But made time for my cute Hashi! (❤ ω ❤)]

[yumi-hakoi]

Madara:- In light of what you did for me, You can hug me for four to five seconds. Hashirama:- FORTY FIVE SECONDS?!! Madara:- No! Four to five seconds! Hashirama:- Too late!!!

[yumi-hakoi]

[Hashirama and Madara in a restaurant]

Hashirama:- I respect you man. Madara:- I respect you for respecting me. Hashirama:- I respect that you respect me for respecting you. *Giggles* Madara:- I respect that you respect me for respecting you for respecting me. Hashirama:-...I-...Respect...W-what...?

[yumi-hakoi]

Reasons why Madara is single:-

1) He is gay- (For our Hashi ofc! But Hashi ignored him and married Mito which broke his heart...) 2) His programmed auto-functioning reply to love confessions he gets from women:- [Name]:- I love you, Madara- Madara:- I love me too... [Name]:- ... 3) He is a sexist, He thinks women are weaker than men and they are pretty much useless other than bearing children for men.

[yumi-hakoi]

Tobirama:- Why are your tongues purple? Hashirama:- We had slushies, I had a blue one. Madara:- I had a red one. Tobirama:- Oh, I see... Tobirama:- WAIT- Izuna:- ...- Izuna:- You drank each other's slushies, Right?

[yumi-hakoi]

Madara at Hashirama & Mito's Wedding-

Madara:- *holding a guitar and starts playing it and sings Taylor Swift's "You belong with me" Song* Izuna:- What is happening right now? Madara:- Can't you see that I'm the one, Who understands you? Been here all along. So, why can't you see? You belong with me~ Tobirama:- Tf, Is that idiot doing?

Madara:- Standing by and waiting at your backdoor. All this time how could you not know, baby? You belong with me~ You belong with me~ Tobirama:- Go get your knucklehead brother, Izuna! Hashirama:- *is impressed by Madara's singing abilities but is too dumb to understand what Madara actually means* Izuna:- I-I don't know w-what to do, Tobirama?!! Madara:- You belong with me~ Have you ever thought just maybe, You belong with me? Hashirama:- Aww, Thank you for your beautiful performance Madara! I never knew you could sing this good?! This is the best wedding gift I ever received!!! Mito:- ..... Tobirama:- *sighs* Nevermind, I forgot that my brother is too dumb to get that blockhead's obvious hints. Izuna:- ...I'm at loss of words...-

[yumi-hakoi]

Madara:- Being around you is hard. Hashirama:- Being around you makes me hard. Madara:- What? Hashirama:- What?

[yumi-hakoi]

Hashirama:- Why are you sad, Madara? Madara:- I don't know. Hashirama:- So just for no reason? Madara:- Oh no, there are plenty of reasons. I'm just not sure which one it is this time.

[yumi-hakoi]

Madara and his Girlfriend be like-

[Name]:- Come over, My parents aren't home. Madara:- Lol, No. [Name]:- But I'm cosplaying as Hashirama tonight- Madara:- *Kamuis himself there*

[yumi-hakoi]

Madara:- Stand up straight, Hashirama! Hashirama:- I can't... Hashirama:- I'm gay...for you... Madara:- That's not funny, Hashirama.