talestoenrage

[talestoenrage]

There are a lot of great educators out there, but too many people just to critique without actually considering why it's like that.

(as usual, join on Patreon for bonus content)

[talestoenrage]

It’s not helped by the next captain after Picard being 100% Done With Your Shit on every level. “What would Picard and Kirk do if they had met as captains?” is a question. Picard and Sisko DID meet, Sisko made it absolutely clear how he felt and why, and Picard never came back to DS9.

James T. Kirk:

-Graduated in the top 4% of his year -was bullied by jocks -Is a history nerd -was so much of a teacher’s pet that he cheated on an exam and was commended for it -Was referred to as “a stack of books with legs”

Jean-Luc Picard:

-Spent all his free time drinking in pubs and playing billiards -broke more hearts than he can remember -started a bar fight that ended up in him being stabbed in the heart -likes to explore dangerous ruins of ancient civilizations for fun -wouldn’t even have become a starship captain if he wasn’t this much of a hothead

And yet people still manage to get it backwards???

[talestoenrage]

She just holds up a picture of Daffy Duck and asks why he is not required to wear clothing.

if an alien has no external sexual organs is it possible for them to be nude and are they exempt from clothing requirements

[talestoenrage]

I Swear To God, I first read that title as “Nosh” and was VERY confused.

Originally published at: https://eschergirls.com/photo/2020/12/25/boxing-day-sale-half-melting-escher-girls

Not quite boxing for Boxing Day, but apparently Kevin Nash (the pro wrestler) had a comic book in the 90s and I guess the woman melting between his legs is meant to show how hot he is.  The other two women should be careful not to get too close.

(Cover of “Nash” Preview Issue, Image Comics)

[talestoenrage]

Yakuza Kiwami is best enjoyed in the goofiness for me, where you watch stone faced Kiryu get very into racing RC stock cars and deliver packages while wearing jingling socks for more money. If that doesn’t sound appealing, then you probably want to bail on the whole Yakuza series.

I started Yakuza Kiwami and it didn’t grab me. Is this one of the things where I’ll like other installments more or is it a thing that if I didn’t care for it, the series just isn’t for me?

[talestoenrage]

Did it talk about the focused totatlity of a character’s psychic power?

I know there’s a lot of Discourse™ about it, but it is legitimately hilarious and great to me that there’s just one bit of DQXI that might as well have been written by Chris Claremont.

[talestoenrage]

This is true, but it’s also Dragon Ball, and you know Toriyama isn’t going to let Piccolo actually being an alien stop him from saying he’s still demonic too.

Dragon Ball theory

Gohan had this strange rage based power up when he was little.

No other saiyan in the series has exhibited this skill.

Where did Gohan get this ability from? It almost seems demonic…

Perhaps a little.

Chi-Chi might not be fully human, her father is Ox-King (Also called Gyumao or Demon king).

Look at the size of Ox-King, are you going to tell me he’s a simple human!?

I think Ox-King is half demon, which explains how he is king of a land that seems to worship demons, his title in Japanese means “Demon emperor” and yet he looks mostly human cept for his size.

Not to mention Ox-King doesn’t age like a normal human.

Ox-King’s age is never revealed in canon. BUT-he was training buddies with Grandpa Gohan when Grandpa Gohan was young. They trained under Master Roshi. 

Grandpa Gohan was like 80 when he died. 

?????

He hasn’t changed anything by the time Buu saga hits in. Ox King doesn’t age like everyone else.

No freaking wonder Goku’s kids always seemed to have more potential than Vegeta’s, Goku’s kids also have some demon blood in there. 

[talestoenrage]

This also explains how Gohan and Piccolo took to each other, if they’ve both got some demon in them...

Dragon Ball theory

Gohan had this strange rage based power up when he was little.

No other saiyan in the series has exhibited this skill.

Where did Gohan get this ability from? It almost seems demonic…

Perhaps a little.

Chi-Chi might not be fully human, her father is Ox-King (Also called Gyumao or Demon king).

Look at the size of Ox-King, are you going to tell me he’s a simple human!?

I think Ox-King is half demon, which explains how he is king of a land that seems to worship demons, his title in Japanese means “Demon emperor” and yet he looks mostly human cept for his size.

Not to mention Ox-King doesn’t age like a normal human.

Ox-King’s age is never revealed in canon. BUT-he was training buddies with Grandpa Gohan when Grandpa Gohan was young. They trained under Master Roshi. 

Grandpa Gohan was like 80 when he died. 

?????

He hasn’t changed anything by the time Buu saga hits in. Ox King doesn’t age like everyone else.

No freaking wonder Goku’s kids always seemed to have more potential than Vegeta’s, Goku’s kids also have some demon blood in there. 

[talestoenrage]

The idol fans in Japan say no, Malk.

You think about how, if anime fans in Japan had pulled the shit Voltron fans or TAZ fans did, that would just result in no more of the thing? Maybe it’s not fans that are toxic but just Western fans.

[talestoenrage]

There’s also the fact that modders can put in the work and slap a “use at your own risk” warning for their mods, and no one would fault them for that, because it is an individual doing the work rather than a company. Most people reasonably expect that Sarah from Madison, WI making a hairstyles mod will do her best to squash bugs, but can’t devote her life to it, compared to a whole QA department at Bethesda/Activision/Blizzard doing so.

trained video game designers who get paid thousands of dollars for making video game: some things are way too difficult to create with this engine, you have to understand that we are very limited in our possibilities for this game

modders with a pirated version of photoshop who work full jobs outside the video game industry: hey guys I made 100 hairstyles and re-textures of 750 outfits during my lunch time. Also this female character now has proper armor and can be romanced by a female protag. I was kinda busy last night but here are 20 new complexions you can download for free

[talestoenrage]

“I’d strike the sun if it insulted me” is a quote from Ahab in Moby Dick.

“Please save me! I’ll do anything for you!” “Then perish.” “Hell is empty, and all the devils are here.” “Will you fight? Or will you perish like a dog?” “…Then I shall face God, and walk backwards into hell.” “…I’d strike the sun if it insulted me.” 

-All of these are from shitposts, regrettably not from literary classics.

[talestoenrage]

I had no issue with Naruto until Sasuke left to join Orochi, and then I was fucking DONE because A) I don’t give a shit about Mopey Anti-Social Boy, and B) the fight between the two of them was just the creator throwing up his hands and going “I’m DBZing this fight, I got nothing.”

I remember being into Naruto but I think even at the time I wasn’t really into it. The main characters were annoying and none of the fights -aside from that one spectacular exception- really got me going, and even as a twelve-year-old I found the humor juvenile.

I mean, yeah, Naruto’s bad, hot takes all around here.

[talestoenrage]

Medium take: Darkseid is an inherently better character than both Thanos and Mongul, but Darkseid is also harder to use than both of them. Mongul gets to be the dumb brute version of Darkseid without the shame of screwing up such a good character with such a drastic misreading. Meanwhile, Thanos is closer to the source material while being generic enough that you can take him off in any direction, which means he gets to be introspective and change his allegiances in a way that Darkseid just can’t. So yes, Darkseid is always going to be the better character, but it’s much easier to write good Mongul and Thanos stories.

Hot Take: The Brave and the Bold unequivocally proves that Mongul is a more interesting character than Darkseid.

[talestoenrage]

Here’s the flip side to the manga model: barring sudden dramatic improvements, you’re likely to see the same story telling beats a LOT in any given manga series, BECAUSE it’s the one creator at the helm. One Piece cannot do a somber, soft spoken character arc. It would literally break the intended product. That’s not a huge flaw! It’s not promising that it can do one, or wants to! But while there are sad moments in One Piece, it’s Melodramatically Sad, and always followed up by a moment of triumph/friendship.

American comics can change things up like that, because thanks to that model of multiple creators for a character, you can have dramatically different interpretations. Plus the fact that no matter how bad any character (other than Hank Pym) is at a given moment, they’re one good story away from being great. Fucking KITE MAN got a great character arc recently, because those creators said “Hey, wouldn’t it be neat to do that with someone they don’t expect?” 

Hell, let’s look at the X-Men, the obvious model for Continuity Out Of Control. How did that happen? Because Chris Claremont, Dave Cockrum, Len Wein, and John Byrne took the Marvel book no one really wanted at the time and Changed The Goddamn Industry by throwing out what they didn’t want, keeping what they did, adding all new characters, and just going Buck Wild with what they had. Wolverine was a forgotten Hulk villain with one appearance when he joined the team, and then got to be the most popular character in comics for a solid decade thanks to that work. I can’t imagine any manga series managing that kind of transition.

You’re not wrong about all the complicated continuity of American comics and how it can put people off (among many other off-putting factors). But let’s not pretend it doesn’t have its advantages too.

I was thinking about why I prefer to read manga over American comics (as in, monthly serialized comics) and, putting aside opinions about the “quality” of either medium, I think the reason why is because I have absolutely no idea how American comics work.

Say you’re a complete noob to manga. You don’t know shit about it. But that One Piece thing you saw on TV looks really cool and you want to read it. Where do you start? Volume 1 and go from there. 

But imagine the same situation but with comics. You just saw the new Spiderman movie and now you got a craving for more like it. Where do you begin? Well, no one knows because there’s been 901823434^34 different iterations of the character for decades.

With manga, there’s usually one guy (and maybe a team of artists under them to help) working on it. Even if it goes on for years or may switch leads, there’s usually some “consistency” to keep everything in check. With American comics on the other hand, it’s the complete opposite: you have multiple different writers and artists, each contributing their own take on the character: alternate timelines, alternate motifs, etc etc. It’s all a big clusterfuck to me and I have no idea how anyone can keep track of it all.

[talestoenrage]

It’s my last Veterans Day in active duty status and I’d be eternally grateful if you could help with my transition back into civilian life. All it takes is a reblog. Thank you!

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[talestoenrage]

I remain a trash anime fan, and here’s the latest proof.

GOTTA GET THIS OUT OF MY BRAAAAAIN

THINGS I WANT IN DRAGONBALL XENOVERSE 3

1. TECHNIQUE CREATOR

The ability to create your own fan OC in Xenoverse was, is, and will remain the main draw for it. It’s pretty damn fun to smash all the established characters with your own guy. The customization options are limited (more on that in the next entry), but there is a specific style they want you to fit into, so at least there’s a reason behind the limitations.

And while the description of Xenoverse 2 as more like Xenoverse 1.5 was accurate, I was fine with that, because the main thing I wanted was more of it to play. But now that they’ve got the engine (theoretically) working right, I want more customization options. And there’s one logical way to really add that: being able to make your own special attacks. And I think there’s a way you can do that where it would be balanced and manageable.

First point: The option doesn’t open immediately, so let it be locked down until level 30 or so. Enough time to get some experience in the game systems under your belt and to use some of the pre-existing moves. As you go up in level, more options open up, like how powerful the move can be, how many status effects it can have, what type of moves you make, and so on. By max level you have all the options in that regard.

Second point: Give mentors another use by letting them teach you specific effects you can add. Want to have an attack that can blind enemies? You need to train under Krillin for that. Even the mentors who have lackluster skills to teach could have useful effects to unlock, giving you a reason to stick with them.

Third point: The actual animations could be locked behind the skills, so maybe you can make your own version of a Kamehameha right off the bat...but most of the animations require having the base skill already. Give enough of the basic stuff that you can still make your own techniques if you want, but this would prevent you from being able to make knock-off versions of all the stuff you either have trouble getting or are too low-level to earn yet.

2. MORE CHARACTER CUSTOMIZATION OPTIONS

Look, I said I understood the limitations here, and I’m not saying the game needs to break them. But I want to have more to choose from. Let us make chunkier fighters, so they’re not just broad shoulders, but can have some chub without being one of the Buu characters. Add in the Androids as an option, for another playable race. And for God’s sakes, I want some basic clothing options, because I want to be able to kick ass in a good suit for the incongruity. I understand a lot of players will want to be wearing Goku’s outfit, and that’s fine.

3. OVERPOWERING YOURSELF

For balance reasons, Xenoverse limits how powerful your characters can get. Which makes sense. But I want the option to overpower characters without having to do any crazy hacks or specific builds. So here’s my idea: you have your regular stat increases, which you assign as you wish, and outside of specific circumstances are reflected in all situations: single player, multiplayer PvE, multiplayer PvP. Then you have a separate category, let’s call them Dragon Points. You could earn them in a few ways, but the main thing about them is that they are PvE ONLY. In other words, those stats get counted for when you’re doing the story mode, doing solo missions, or doing cooperative missions with others. They are NOT counted in any form of PvP, and not in the public raids or events. So you could make your character super overpowered to blow through single player content for fun, but you couldn’t turn that around into destroying anyone with less of a will to grind them out than you have. You can also have the option to turn off Dragon Points for single player missions if you want, in case you want a challenge again.

[talestoenrage]

Going for a more sillier cosplay for this year’s NYCC lol. I took the concept of Mario and the Mario kart series but with some vintage biker fashion in the mix.