talkingpointss

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Leonid Pasternak  (Ukrainian, 1862–1945) - The Torments of Creative Work

[talkingpointss]

Leonid Pasternak  (Ukrainian, 1862–1945) - The Torments of Creative Work

[talkingpointss]

My boyfriend has really vivid, elaborate dreams. He’ll often wake up and talk about some grand narrative- travel, exploration, politics, performances. I’ve always been a little jealous, he can hold really good plots together for them sometimes.

But anyway, this does have a downside; vivid, elaborate dreams make for vivid, elaborate nightmares. I can usually tell when it’s one of those nights, since he grinds his teeth pretty badly.

I was never quite sure what to do when I knew he was having a bad time of it, though the grinding alone was enough to worry me and push me towards intervening. I used to just shake him gently, hope to rouse him just enough to reset the dream or something, but it wasn’t too effective and anyway waking him up all the time isn’t good for rest.

I’m rather proud of the strategy I eventually settled on: gently, so as not to wake him up, I’d lay one arm across his hands, wrapping his fingers around me so that he was holding on. Nightmares being nightmares, I can usually count on a pretty tight grip when this happens.

It may seem a little odd, but consider that holding on to something with both hands is typically a very agentic frame of mind. We hold on to things that give us power, in one way or another, and possessing objects often makes us feel powerful in some respects. That has consequences, even for a dreaming mind.

I knew it was working when he woke up rather mystified from one such dream, and told me that he’d been running through the caverns of some dungeon or cave system, pursued by monsters, but then all of a sudden he was holding a giant anime sword and fought them off instead. So I got to be a sword for him that night, I was delighted.

I don’t usually get to know exactly what happened, since even for a very vivid dreamer like Ritter, nine tenths of these things get forgotten. But I know I’ve been things like door handles, steering wheels, stuff like that. And even when I don’t know what I am to him, he doesn’t grind his teeth nearly as much- the sleep is deeper and more peaceful, so I get plenty of feedback that it’s working.

It’s such a perfect encapsulation of love in microcosm, isn’t it? No matter how much you mean to them, and how much they mean to you, the gap between two conscious lives is fundamentally separating you. But fundamental does not mean insurmountable. There’s this whole world in him, full of dreams and perspectives that I’ll never truly experience. But I will be a part of those worlds all the same, finding little ways here and there to make sure that the dreams of me make him a better, stronger, and happier person.

Or at least, so one hopes. It’s a difficult challenge, and things often go awry. But usually you get at least a little lucky.

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TUESDAY AGAIN NO PROBLEM

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some of y’all bout to be real mad at me. but it must be said. some of the shit u call corny/cringy is actually just genuine/cute/sweet and y’all r just afraid of expressing any type of positive emotion

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emailing one of the local auction houses this week like "hi i'm a person with completely normal interests but incidentally i noticed that based on the serial number the mini fridge you're auctioning is actually subject to a safety recall. yeah i know this for reasons other than reading about product safety recalls for fun" regular guy behavior

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every beastie boys music video is from the viewpoint of a cool bug they found on the ground

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admit it. you’re mad at me for secreting a black sludge that turned all the animals into bigger scarier animals

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Someone should publish a pronunciation guide for bookish children with words like boatswain, victuals, epitome and so forth. It could probably just be a slim pamphlet, but it would save a lot of nerds a lot of embarrassment down the line.

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my moms reaction to my bat incident tonight

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i dont blame the trex i know i loo9k big and tasty lol

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inherent gay need to redesign my bedroom every 3 months

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this entry in a ‘what would happen if the internet went down tomorrow’ contest has been making me laugh since 2009

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I heard so many people talk about romanticizing your life and at first it was annoying but then I was eating an apple and it was red and sweet and I was making an effort to conciously and slowly enjoy my apple because that's what my therapist told me to try to be more in the moment and it was the best apple I ever ate. I ate it slow and really payed attention to the sweetness and the sourness and I was sitting outside under some trees and there was a breeze and I thought: This is a perfect moment, and one day I will wish I had the opportunity to sit here and conciously eat this apple and be happy. Anyways. Try making a big deal out of small things.

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to me the appeal of pathetic vampires is similar to the appeal of stupid cats. you have the teeth and claws to rip through flesh to your heart's content, but here you are. paw stuck to a quilt. staring woefully with eyes the size of saucers to get someone to help. same goes for a vampire failing miserably to use a touchscreen because his fingers are too cold.

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