tallvampiremilf - Tumblr blog

[tallvampiremilf]

Recently just got Re8…I’m abt to have a breakdown-

WHY IS SHE THE FIRST BOSS??? WHY DO I HAVE TO KILL HER FIRST??? WHY MUST CAPCOM PUT ME THROUGH THIS PAIN??

I AM SOBBING AND I HAVENT EVEN GRABBED THE DAGGER CAUSE I ALREADY KNOW WHATS ABT TO HAPPEN 😭😭

[tallvampiremilf]

SOMEONE NEEDS TO WRITE HER AS A WRESTLER PLEASE 🙏🏾

If Alcina was a wrestler 🥊 she’d be this absolute milf

You can’t change my mind 😌

Also the ring is her chambers and she’s waiting….

[tallvampiremilf]

YES PLEASE 🤭✋🏾

Hot chocolate, anyone? 

[tallvampiremilf]

The score is 75-44 with only 1 minute left on the clock

Alcina: *gets the ball and starts running down the court*

Enemy team player: *Y/N get on her!*

Y/n: “WHAT??? YOU WANT ME *points at self* TO GET ON HER??? *points at the gaint that is getting closer every second* SHES FUCKING 3 TIMES MY SIZE!!”

Enemy team player: “YES AND I DONT CARE! NOW GET A MOVE ON!”

*reluctantly moves to block Alcina from making a lay up*

Y/n: *gulps*

Alcina: *seeing the tiny imp compared to her she decides to have a bit of fun* “MOVE OUT OF MY WAY STUPID MAN-THING IM FUCKING BALLIN!”

*Alcina then proceeds to dunk on Y/n and Y/n is left trembling from seeing a 9’6 gaint dunk on them and is in need of a therapist*

Y/N needs a little help

Y/N: Hey Alci, can you help me reach something on the top shelf?

Alcina: Of course, draga. *Reaches up and gets the item* Here you go, my darling.

Y/N: Wow, you're so tall, Alci! You could probably reach up and change the lightbulbs in the chandelier without a ladder, huh?!

Alcina: *Laughs* Yes, I suppose I could. You know, it's never too late to pursue a new career, Y/N. Maybe I should change lightbulbs for a living. *Chuckles, rubs Y/N's head*

Y/N: *Has a brilliant idea* ... O.o

Y/N: Could you hold on for a second? *Runs off to go make a call*

Alcina: *Confused but shrugs her shoulders*

Y/N: *On the phone, waiting for someone to pick up* Come on! Come on!

WNBA recruiter: *Answers the phone* Hello? How can I-

Y/N: We're about to be fucking rich.

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[tallvampiremilf]

Thanks, staff.

[tallvampiremilf]

[tallvampiremilf]

I bet Miranda would go ballistic if she tasted even a pinch of pepper in her food.

PEPPER

Pepper isn’t even that hot yes it gives you a lil tingle and broadens your horizon but compared to all the other spices and seasonings people be using.

IT AINT NOTHIN

A lil skit I put together

Y/n: *cooking* (shocking I know) *humming happily*

Miranda: *walks by the kitchen stops and turns back looking scared*

Miranda: “M-My little songbird…What is it you are doing exactly??” *looking around skeptically praying that nothing has caught on fire or is damage*

Y/n: “Oh! Miranda I was just cooking you something since you’ve been down in the lab all day and haven’t even once came up for a snack or a drink!”

Miranda: “Yes yes I’ve been busy with my work…” *surprised nothing is damaged nor burned*

Y/n: “Well lucky you just got back in time! Go sit down and I’ll bring you a plate!” *giggling*

*Miranda goes and sits at the table and watches Y/n rushing around the room heart fluttering as a small smile graces her normally scowling face*

Y/n: “Here you go! Enjoy!” *sets the plate down in front of Miranda with a grin clapping their hands*

Miranda: *takes a bite*

Y/n: *buzzing in impatience wanting to know if she likes it*

Miranda: *continues to chew before stopping*

*silence*

Miranda: *starts coughing like she’s done ate an entire Popeyes biscuit in one sitting without water*

Miranda: “WATER WATER- I NEED WATER IT BURNS!!!!!”

Y/n: *rushing to get a glass of water for her* “WELL IF ITS THAT BAD YOU DONT HAVE TO ACT SO DRAMATIC ABOUT IT!”

Miranda: *gulps down the entire glass*

Miranda: *gasping for air* “Wha- *gasps* What did you *gasps* put *gasps* in there!”

Y/n: “The necessary ingredients and of course I had to had pepper and salt! WHO EATS UNSEASONED FOOD?!?!!?!”

Miranda: “PEPPER!!! I NEARLY DIED FOR THE HEAT!”

Y/n: “PEPPER ISNT EVEN THAT HOT!”

Miranda: “TRY TELLING THAT TO MY FALLEN TASTE BUDS MAY THOSE SOLDIERS REST IN PEACE”

In the end Y/n ends up making the same food but unseasoned for Miranda and ends up staying at Donna’s since she’s the only other person besides maybe Karl who understands the need to have seasoning in food.

Y/n: “She can’t handle pepper-

Donna & Angie: “SHE CANT HANDLE PEPPER!!!!”

What do you think the 4 Lords including the daughters and Miranda would get from a fast food restaurant? You can choose which fast food restaurant tho :)

This came at the exact right time! I'm on a new "Anti-Inflammatory" diet for my arthritis and it sucks... I'm so hungie for junk food! My go-to restaurant is Taco Bell because I'm broke and I like to do edibles, so... Munchies, yeah. Let's get into it!

Alcina: Crunchwrap Supreme

Alright, listen. That's a big woman to feed. She needs this monstrosity of a food to fill her up. Plus, she lies to herself and says that there's basically a whole salad inside that thing. She deserves to make it a combo with some nacho fries and a Baja Blast, really.

Donna: Mexican Pizza

This... Remotely resembles pizza? It's pretty good, she's not gonna lie, but she lectures everyone about how this isn't a "True" pizza... Hell, it's not even a true tostada. All international cuisines are getting disrespected up in this bitch! It's kind of funny to see her go off about this, though.

Miranda: Cheesy Roll Up

She boring. She plain. This is about all her little tummy can handle. Even the seasoned beef is "Too Spicy" for her. Whatever. It's kinda lame, but I've had these before and it's melted cheese and tortilla so of course it tastes good.

Karl: Doritos Locos Tacos

I can just imagine getting high and gaming with Karl only for him to stop and look over at you before begging you to get him a taco. He doesn't go for the supreme because he figures it's got tomatoes and he ain't trying to add more veggies to this party.

Sal: Quesarito

Anything with cheese is a winner in Sal's book. Of course, it's just gonna be thrown up because of his sensitive tummy, but it was nice while it lasted. Honestly, he'd be happy to just eat the cheesy outside layer and call it a day.

Bela: Soft Taco

Kinda basic, but she knows what she likes. There's something to be said for that. Bela prefers soft tacos to crunchy tacos because they don't shatter and make a mess when you take a bite. Sound logic.

Cassandra: Power Menu Bowl

Hey, she needs protein, alright? She doesn't need the frills of a tortilla or a tostada. She'd be happy with just a bowl with steak in it, to be honest. I'm convinced if she was human she'd be on a keto diet.

Daniela: Nachos BellGrande

Nachos. The perfect snack food. She just strikes me as someone who would order a bunch of sides and pair them together to make a weirdly disjointed meal. She gets messy and just scoops them up in a big glob and eats them. Kinda gross, kinda sexy. Just like Dani.

[tallvampiremilf]

[tallvampiremilf]

I MADE A DISCORD SERVER :)

Come one and all and tell me your theories, hypotheses, suggestions, tips, all and everything!

Just don’t get to wild (*whispers* some of us are still running from the horny and simp police)

Thank you have a good day/night :)

[tallvampiremilf]

this is simply the greatest video i have ever seen

[tallvampiremilf]

Me who hasn’t played the game yet trying to understand the Castle Dimitrescu map for my story:

[tallvampiremilf]

Some days, Twitter is a simmering hellbroth. Other days, the landscape is made glorious by people like this.

[tallvampiremilf]

Oh great heavens- 🥵😳

I morphed alcina's face onto angelina's face and oh my lawd i cant breav-😍🥵😰💦💗💓💙💖❤️💜💕💞

[tallvampiremilf]

[tallvampiremilf]

[tallvampiremilf]

✨VOILA✨

MY MASTERPIECE ✨😌✨

(I’m not that good at drawing so no further details 🥲)

[tallvampiremilf]

😃I’m 4’11…

Alcina thinking she's alone so she cuts a mad fart as she walks down the hall and Y/N's just following behind her like

To be honest, I feel like Alci knew the entire time she was being followed and she did it on purpose so Y/N would leave her alone :(

Also, have a picture of what would have happened if the daughters were following her in this scenario:

Cass is the one on the stretcher because she's the best hunter and has a superior sense of smell.

Alcina's reaction to all of the above:

She's a fucking villain and I love her.