tanyaincameroon

[tanyaincameroon]

Regret. Regrets for past decisions... for not picking up the phone and calling, for not giving him one more hug before saying goodbye, and for not prioritizing visiting him in Burundi. But also, regret for all the futures that are lost to us now without him. We'll never again cheers over a booster, or send goofy happy birthday messages back and forth, we'll never watch another survivalist youtube video, we won't have any more late night conversations about the meaning of the universe while looking for constellations, we'll never go back to Santa to visit our host families together or share a moto ride. There are so many things I assumed we would get to do together someday and I've just felt all the cords to those futures slip out of my hands.

I know someday I won't feel the regret so strongly. I know I will feel the joy from all the light he brought to the world. But I'm not there yet. I'm still sitting here futilely grasping at threads to the future I can never get back.

[tanyaincameroon]

Banso at heart

I had a great moment walking into town today. Usually as I walk into town there are people who I don't know who yell out to me. Sometimes it's just hello but often they begin to harass me in some way (call me La Blanche or ma cherie, ask for something, or ask if I'm married). So today I was walking into market and I saw this man staring at me standing beside the road. And I thought "here we go again." But to my surprise the man yells out " hey, I know you! You're from Jakiri! " My heart soared. Someone from home.

I greeted him in the language lamnso. The cultural area where Jakiri lies is called nso, the language is lamnso, and the people are banso. Anyway, I chatted with this man for awhile. It turns out he was transferred here about two months ago. I asked him how he was enjoying it and he said "oh it's not easy. Jakiri was a fine, fine place." We bonded for awhile about the things and the people that we missed from back home and it was soothing to talk to someone who understood exactly how I'm feeling because he had to leave Jakiri too. He introduced me to his neighbor as his banso sister. Even though I'm moving on and doing some cool new work here in the South it was nice to see that I can still have banso family and nso is still in my heart.

[tanyaincameroon]

Adjusting

I'm settling into my new town and it's very relaxing here. Either the people are more laid back or I'm in an early vacation mood. The school where I thought I would be working actually has no need for teachers. But something I've gotten used to in the past year is that sometimes you just need make something up for yourself. So I met with the vice principal and told him I could do literacy work with the students. We arranged it so that instead of doing manual labor, the younger students would work with me on remedial reading and writing activities. In addition we're putting together Wednesday afternoon teacher training sessions. So I'm finding some little things to do in my remaining time here.

My new home is very different from my last, environmentally and culturally. It's hot and humid (maybe this is why it feels like a vacation spot). If I walk 30 minutes from town I'd be in the jungle. There are snakes, tortoises, monkey, and there are rumors of Bush elephants. In the NW I only saw goats, cows, and chicken. It really does feel like another country.

Many of the people that I meet are not originally from here. They come from all around Cameroon but also from neighboring Gabon and Equatorial Guinea. The mix of people makes it so a new face isn't so extraordinary and people are patient and understanding of differences. ��My neighbors are from the North, displaced here because of boko haram. My house in Jakiri was in its own compound complete with a big blue gate as a buffer. But here I'm fully immersed in a family compound. Our houses share walls and pretty much every area other than my bedroom is communal living space. It feels really nice though, I've been taken on as not only a member of the community but also as a member of the family.

So Ambam is nice and a good place for me to be.

[tanyaincameroon]

A Change

I've been trying to write this for awhile but I struggle to find adequate words. At the end of September, Peace Corps and the US Embassy decided to pull all volunteers in the Northwest and Southwest regions temporarily from their sites. The decision came after the lawyers and teachers strikes that began in November last year have slowly turned into a political movement for secession and creation of a new country, Ambazonia. The political unrest has manifested in peaceful protests, some violent rhetoric, and a harsh government response. Peace Corps says the move is temporary because we are hoping Cameroonians will find a peaceful resolution to the unrest. For me, however, the move is permanent. I won't be able to finish my service in Jakiri. After being removed, I spent 20 days in the capital waiting to see what would happen, and then making the choice between going home to America with interrupted service or moving to a new site in Cameroon for the next seven months. I've landed somewhere in the middle. I decided to stay in Cameroon a few more months to finish some of the literacy work that I am doing and then I'll be coming home. My heart breaks for Jakiri and the rest of the Anglophone regions. I miss Ma Shey's morning greeting and reading with kids on my porch. I miss my dog Oliver and dancing with Sandrine at her market stall. I miss all of my students and laughing with my njangi group. Not only do I miss these people, I fear for them as their futures are undecided. I fear for the young people who get caught up in the heat of the protest. I fear for my students who are still being kept from school and see their dreams moving farther and farther away. I have the privilege to be removed and protected when things become unstable, but for my community, that's their lives. But there is an overwhelming amount of hope in Cameroon. There is so much good here. There is so much potential. Right now, Cameroon is figuring out what will come next. And for the rest of us, we wait.

[tanyaincameroon]

Peace Corps has a document which describes the average PCVs emotional experience while they’re in country. For example, when you first come you may have culture shock but then you adapt and are in a high stage as you experience new things.Around the midway point there’s a “mid-service crisis.” I’ve been experiencing this feeling in the past month as I’m watching friends travel home for vacations, as some PCVs prepare for the end of their service, as my biology classes are ending, and as my neighborhood children are traveling to the villages. Things around me are changing but here I am, the same.

But last week I had a really inspiring few days with the newly arrived trainees who are currently in training to be education volunteers. They came and spent five days at my house. We ate amazing food, we drank and danced, we laughed, we shared ridiculous stories. Seeing the new trainees not only reminded me why I’m here, it showed me how much I love being here. As I answered all their questions, I realized how much I’ve learned in the past year and how much I’ve grown and changed.

I introduced my visitors to my friends and my neighborhood mamas. They got to play with the children who always come to my house to greet me. We cooked the best food I’ve had in Cameroon (even better than the pepperoni pizza, I swear). We walked around Jakiri and I saw the sights through their fresh eyes again. They made me happy. They showed me that I’m happy here.

[tanyaincameroon]

This past week I’ve been in Kribi, a beautiful beach town in the South Region. We had GrassrootSoccer training. GRS has four different programs to work with youth in our communities: one aimed at teaching them about malaria, one is a coed curriculum about sexual health and HIV, the third is about gender issues, puberty, and health for young girls, and the last is the same for young boys. The idea behind the curriculum is to provide the youth with a safe forum for open discussion that they may not find elsewhere, to discuss topics that can be uncomfortable or sometimes even taboo in the society, and it uses activities and games which are engaging and fun while also having a deliberate message along with them.

I came to training with my community host Saada. She has been the one to help me transition into the Jakiri community by making introductions, bringing me to events like weddings and funerals, and mainly just by being a friend. When I received the invitation for GRS she was my first pick to bring even though she had never been a work counterpart before. She slipped into the role flawlessly. She became a different person in front of my eyes; she was engaged and active and had amazing ideas to contribute. Halfway through the week she had a serious health issue and continued to power through like a champion.

I was inspired by her throughout the week and I’m looking forward to implementing GRS with her in Jakiri. To end the week she showed her courage and enthusiasm in a great, symbolic way. She stepped into the ocean for the first time (gripping my hand tightly and screaming). She loved it: the ocean, the training, the new role as a work partner. She told me she’ll carry the Kribi spirit home with her to Jakiri, and I’m excited to see what she can do with it.

[tanyaincameroon]

When you fall down, get up and dance

I fell this week. It’s a pretty embarrassing story actually. Oliver has learned how to sneak out of my gate and unfortunately he likes to chase and eat my neighbors’ chickens; which means I have to pay for dead chickens. So he went to run out and play with my neighbor’s dog and I tried to chase him back and wiped out instead. I was falling face first and decided to sacrifice my hand for my face. But when you fall down, what other option do you have but to laugh, wipe yourself off, and get back up.

It reminded me of the common Peace Corps saying: “things never work, but they always work out.” This phrase has become near and dear to my heart over the last year. It happens a lot that things don’t work out the way we’ve planned them. But at the end of all the work and frustrations, somehow it turns out okay. You may stumble along the way or your direction might take a 180° turn, but no matter what happens we keep moving and at the end of the day we’re satisfied that we always get up after we fall.

[tanyaincameroon]

One Year In

A year ago I woke up (though honestly I hadn’t really slept) at a ridiculously early hour, I did last minute packing, sent farewell messages, and hugged my parents and sister goodbye. Then I got on a plane and came here.

I’ve met and fallen in love with a lot of people in the last year. In fact, the year has been defined by the amazing people I have met: Cameroonians, Americans, Belgians, and Brits alike. The other volunteers I came to this country with are amazing and I can’t imagine this experience without them. I also can’t imagine being here without the other volunteers around me. They have shaped this experience. I love relaxing with them, I love brainstorming with them, I love our conversations, and I love the parties. Most importantly, I love my community. I love the mamas and pas. I love the neighborhood children who would be happy to be sure I was never alone. I love my students and the interesting things they come up with. I love my friends who sit with me at market or dance with me beside the road when they know I’m having a tough day.  

And I have tough days. There are days I want to scream or cry. Some days I don’t want to leave the comfort of my house. And there are days I just can’t stop smiling. Some days, I only talk to people under the age of ten. Other days I have the most fun running and hiding from jujus with the mamas who sell by the road. One day I’ll celebrate a new birth and another day I’ll mourn with a friend. Each day is unique and exciting. Each day, Cameroon becomes more and more my home.

A year has passed. I have another year and a few months to go, and it seems like time is just flying by.

Baby Oliver at home in Jakiri

[tanyaincameroon]

Malaria Month

I came to Cameroon to be a teacher but I often observe that I am learning much by being here. I’m learning life skills and attitudes but I’m learning some important facts as well. For example, today I learned that malaria is still one of the largest causes of death here in Africa. Every year there are more than half a million deaths due to malaria, most of those deaths are young African children.

Malaria is not some incurable disease that we know little about. Malaria has been with us since our species evolved. We have a lot of information about malaria; we know how to prevent it, we know how to treat it, and we’ve known these things for decades. In fact, malaria used to be prominent in America as well but it was successfully eradicated in 1951. It is possible to eradicate malaria globally. So why is it still such a killer?

It’s often been pointed out that sometimes the people who are the most effected by something give it the least importance. I talk with my family from home about malaria and they are afraid of it, they think it is a terrible and dangerous disease but they have had little experience with it. I talk with my friends and neighbors here about it and they shrug it off. Malaria has become a part of typical life here in Cameroon; almost everyone I know has either had malaria or has a close family member who had it.

How do you fight something that is culturally accepted? I’m doing malaria activities this month and my personal main goal is to get my students, neighbors, and colleagues to tell me even one reason they care about malaria by World Malaria Day on the 25th. I don’t want my students to shrug or roll their eyes about malaria. So why care? Children, pregnant women, and people with HIV are highly susceptible to malaria. If you have malaria and don’t get treated because you think you can fight it off, every time a mosquito bites you the mosquito can become infected with the parasite and transmit it to other people, this is especially dangerous for these at risk groups. One person not getting treated can cause many others to become infected and it leads to the continuation of the disease. Why care? Children are disproportionately affected by malaria. Approximately 67% of Cameroon’s malaria deaths were children under 5. The continued presence of malaria contributes to the high child mortality rates in African countries. Why care? Malaria hurts the economy. Malaria accounts for billions of dollars in GDP lost annually in African countries, countries that are developing and those dollars could have made huge strides in building infrastructure. Much of Cameroon’s economy, for example, comes from farmers. When farmers are become sick with malaria, crop yields are lower due to the reduced work done. Not to mention that families have to spend money frequently on treating malaria, money that could have gone to increasing their production or family businesses. Why care? Malaria can be eradicated if a society bands together to take the necessary precautions.

There are countless reasons to care about malaria. Help raise awareness, share a facebook post, change your profile picture, or discuss some facts with friends for World Malaria Day. Small things can spread knowledge and that’s what we need the most.

[tanyaincameroon]

I recently got a box of books to start a reading club at school but when my neighborhood kids saw them they started coming every afternoon to ask for them. Habiba is one of my best friends in Jakiri, and like many of my neighbors she cannot read at all. Its kids like Habiba that make me the happiest when they come for a book. They can’t read but they are incredibly excited about these books, soon they will start piecing words together and their excitement will grow. Here Habiba is using the pictures to make up her own story that she will tell to the other kids but soon she’ll be reading the story herself.

[tanyaincameroon]

Taken for Granted

A day does not go by where I do not read a book. When I said that to a well educated fellow teacher he was shocked. He can read but he does it only when he needs to, like when he is preparing a lesson for class or signing paperwork at the bank. Reading is not a common pastime here in Cameroon like it is at home.

When I try to think of why there is such an extreme difference between my two societies I find two answers. First, for a long time the languages and cultures here in Cameroon were oral. In comparison to English and its language ancestors, reading and writing as a mode of communication is new here. Reading in America is built upon centuries of history of reading, a history they do not have here. Which means that there is not a deeply rooted culture of reading like we have at home.

The other reason is lack of appropriate reading materials. I didn’t realize that I took books for granted. In my childhood I walked to the library every few days for new books. When I felt like I had read all the books available there my mom could drive me to a bigger library or my parents didn’t mind spending a few dollars for a new book. I think every room in our house has a book. The kitchen has cookbooks, the dining room collects abandoned textbooks, the bedrooms, even the bathroom has a book or two I’m sure. But here I can visit a house without a single book in it.

There are a lot of things in life that we take for granted: access to relatively stable electricity, clean flowing tap water, internet access, supermarkets. These are the obvious ones that I think about frequently here in Cameroon where these things are uncommon. But books are not something that I realized until recently. Books, especially storybooks, are scarce here. You can find them if you know where to look and have extra money to spend but they’re not common. Books are important to me, they have shaped my life from the time I first learned how to read. So my favorite thing I’ve sone here in my community is sharing books with the neighborhood kids. It’s been amazing.

[tanyaincameroon]

Back to Work

I’m teaching again- shh it’s a secret!

The strike continues but my school has opened for the Form 5 (grade 10) students. These students need to take a national exam in about eight weeks. If the pass the exam they receive their general certificate of education, which they need in order to continue to the last two years of high school. If the students don’t pass they need to repeat the school year, pay the same school fees again, and pay the GCE exam fees again. It’s very important for these students futures that they succeed on these exams. So a few teachers have come together to work with the students intensely for the next two months and be sure the students are prepared. Of the 120 Form 5 students we had before the strike, we now only have about 25 students who will write the exam. These 25 students are more dedicated and hardworking than any other students I’ve worked with. They are amazing. They are not letting this strike be an excuse. They are not letting the situation drag them down. They are committed. They are inspiring.

[tanyaincameroon]

On the back of a moto you can see the most fantastic sights in Cameroon. You can see breathtaking mountains, or children laughing while washing clothes in a stream, or mamas selling potatoes by the roadside with eyes that have seen a century’s worth of travelers. On the back of a moto you can find peace. Sometimes the back of a moto is exactly what I need.

[tanyaincameroon]

A Modern Day Odyssey

Travel here in Cameroon is always an adventure. Roads are bad, bridges collapse, cars meant for 5 people are packed with 8 plus, etc. This weekend’s travelling took the experience to a whole new level for me. Most of my trip went smoothly but then in the last stretch from Foumban to my village it felt like I had been transported into a modern retelling of the Odyssey.  

I should have known when we got to Foumban and they put me in a coaster instead of a car that the day would spiral out of control, but I remained ever optimistic. A “coaster” is a big van, usually one that’s so old and out of shape that it can barely reach 25mph. The Foumban road is unpaved and littered with large holes and giant rocks. Also, we are in the middle of dry season right now which means that the road is all dust, so windows must be rolled up at all times. Air conditioning is a luxury we can only dream about here which means we truly feel the dry season heat on the Foumban road.

Crawling along, our driver failed to miss one of the potholes and we ended up with a flat tire. No worries though, we had a spare! Only problem was that the jack was so old that it couldn’t hold the van up and so a group of people had to prop the car up themselves while the tire was changed. The power of people!

Getting back on the road we reached an old bridge that was being rebuilt (previously it was just some wooden planks that rattled each time you drove over them). The car had to drive through the mostly dried up river to get around the bridge. Unfortunately “mostly dried” is still a little wet and we got stuck in the mud, hard. Its dry season, this is not acceptable! But again, the Cameroonian people proved their resiliency and they got us safely back on the road, the van only slightly worse for wear.

About half an hour after this exertion, the driver decided to reward himself. We pulled over into a small village and the passengers all shared mimbo (palm wine). Nothing like a good old warm alcohol break on a hot day, right?

Not too long after that, there is a big hill that the coaster cannot climb while loaded down with heavy passengers and luggage. Therefore we all got out and bonded over a 45 minute uphill hike that no one signed up for. I had a moment, though, when I was climbing that refocused things for me. The road can be dangerous here to walk, so I usually find that I walk looking down at the road to watch my feet as I travel. About halfway up the hill I took a water break and looked up. To my surprise there was a hill next to me, shaded in beautiful browns and greens. As important as it is to be cautious and know where you are going, its equally important to look up every now and again to see the beauty, to remember where you are.

Jakiri is just over the top of that hill and when we reached my home land I breathed a sigh of relief. There is nothing like a long or hard journey to emphasize just how much you love your home.

(written Feb 17, 2017, uploaded when in the magic world with internet)

[tanyaincameroon]

Vacation

Here in Yaounde it feels like I'm living in a different world than Jakiri. The peace corps house here has air conditioning, a full size refrigerator, and a washer and dryer. We can get pizza, burgers, and milkshakes delivered to us. I walked around what felt like a mall yesterday. I'm being spoiled this weekend on a mini vacation in the capital. However, as nice as it is to be here and live in luxury reminiscent of America I find that I'm missing home more than I expected. It's been a difficult few months with the strike, but Jakiri is home to me. I know that when my taxi rounds the last corner on the drive home I will get a sight of all Jakiri spread out on the hills and it will be met with a feeling of relief. So what's next for me when I get home now that there's no school? It's a great question, and one that I'm still working on answering. Literacy is a huge problem in my area so I'm setting up reading groups and literacy lessons for my young neighbors. I don't have a lot of books so I'm actually working on writing my own stories for them. It's an adventure! I'd love to work on a library eventually. I'm also starting to work on planning a project about business and entrepreneurship for young adults in my area, where the unemployment rate is high. There's a lot of work to do but for now this is where I'm starting, and we'll see where it goes.

[tanyaincameroon]

The Strike

The situation here in Cameroon is something I did not expect when I came to this country, mostly because I came here expecting to teach and for the last three months have been unable to do that. The situation is difficult, but as my Cameroonian friends will tell you “we are managing.”

*warning this will be a long post with a lot of background to attempt to explain the situation* 

Cameroon was colonized by both the British and the French. When Cameroon gained its independence in 1960/1961, what was British Cameroon was given the choice to either join Nigeria or join what had been French Cameroon. Two regions voted to join La Republique. Sot now Cameroon is a bilingual country where 2 of the 10 regions are anglophone. Those living in the anglophone regions (northwest and southwest) feel oppressed and marginalized citing examples like: many legal documents are only found in French and most appointed positions are given to francophones even in the anglophone regions. 

So at the end of November last year the anglophone lawyers and teachers went on a strike with a specific list of demands for the government to address. The strike was soon supported and joined by many other people in the anglophone regions. What had been a silent strike where teachers and lawyers simply stayed at home began to manifest in the street with students and young adults especially began to hold demonstrations. The government response has turned violent a few times in these three months and several people have lost their lives (exact numbers unclear). 

Schools around the Northwest and Southwest regions are eerily empty Monday-Friday. In addition to schools being effectively shut down, several days a week are dedicated to being “ghost towns.” These are days where no stores open and cars don’t move on the main roads to make a statement. While a lot of people in my village believe the reasons behind the strike are good, they are tired of the strike and no longer support the methods being used. My neighbors just want their children to go back to school but they fear for their safety if they send them. Some schools around the region have been burned down and our own has even received threats. They want to open their businesses each day, but fear what strike supporters will do if they open.

What makes this all harder is that there is no good communication about the strike and these related events and opinions. Facebook and Whatsapp were filled with stories about the strike but many of them proved to be false, or at least exaggerated. As a result the government shut down internet access to the two anglophone regions. Some radio stations were shut down and Cameroon’s tv news channel reports schools are open even though none are. False reports and propaganda run wild and without internet the ability to fact check and communicate with witnesses the effect of false stories is becoming even greater.

Today is National Youth Day in Cameroon, a day that marks the anniversary of the British Cameroon’s vote to join La Republique du Cameroon. What did youth day look like in the past? Thousands of students dressed in their best uniforms, proudly marching in their villages while being supported by family, friends, and teachers. This year the streets in the Northwest and Southwest regions will be markedly child-less. 

[tanyaincameroon]

A Bright 2017

As this new year begins I have a lot of hope for what can happen in the next 365 days. While 2016 is widely seen as being a bad year, for me 2016 held a lot of great and exciting moments. I graduated, I left American soil for the first time, I started working here in Cameroon, and I really feel different. 2016 made me a stronger and better person. I'm excited to see what this person can do with 2017.