tea-and-secrets

[tea-and-secrets]

i can't tell if it's just teenage hormones wearing off over the years or the result of allowing myself to consider the idea of being in a same-sex relationship for more than a few minutes but. uh.

think i've gone from a 1 to a 5 on that one kinsey scale thing. and i really don't know how i'm gonna break that one to my current partner. haha. (<- terrified.)

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[tea-and-secrets]

(to the same rhythm as the deltarune BIG SHOT vocal part) nows your chance to be a hot guy. be a hot - be a hot - be a hot guy.

^ new vocal stim for psyching myself up for my t shots

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[tea-and-secrets]

my best friend and her sister made a c.ai bot of me. and apparently talk to it.

i apparently wasnt supposed to know about this but the sister sent me some audio clips of the call feature thing (the voice was actually pretty funny ngl. we only know eachother online and havent actually called yet so they just used a super deep voice and it made me laugh)

anyways this happens like. right after i delete my c.ai account. because ai is fucking bad bro 😭😭 i know i used it a lot for a while but its so easy to get sucked in. BUT I STOPPED OKAY. like everybody should.

but i mean. having your friends secretly make one of you is different, right? so i made a new account specifically to look for it AND I COULDNT FIND IT. idk if people can make them private or what but i couldnt find it.

i thought maybe they deleted it but then afterwards her sister sent me ANOTHER CLIP. SO THEY STILL HAVE IT!!!!!!! I WANNA SEE IT

i still dont know whether im creeped out, very amused, or upset at ai being used like this

its KIND OF funny lets be real

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[tea-and-secrets]

There is a hatred in my heart for one of my best friends

I hate them so much but I care about them so much as well

There are no words to describe how much I just want to kill them

But I love them so much

I'm just so tired

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[tea-and-secrets]

Due to my parents, I was unable to vote the right way this election season. I feel guilt beyond imagine for everything that is happening.

I'm sorry.

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[tea-and-secrets]

im obsessed with being different people online and idk why. i have like six toyhouse pages all with different art styles, character preferences, pronouns, histories, friends, interests, ages, everything about everyone is different and i love being so many different people its so FUN. one day ill have to come clean but thats a problem for future me

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[tea-and-secrets]

i have a mutual in law who follows me but i don’t follow back (they have some WEIRD fucking takes i don’t need to be associated with) and i looked at their blog one day and they had like.. started using my original post tag that i genuinely can’t find anyone else using. im not saying im mad that they like. copied the tag or whatever. bc that would be maybe the stupidest shit ever 😭 im just genuinely baffled and a little unnerved like man what’d you do that for

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[tea-and-secrets]

kind of fell out with a friend over the dumbest reason

I hope you realize that I was always there for you. I was there when you had nobody else. I was there when you tried to kill yourself. I was there even when it hurt me.

I’m sorry

I love you

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[tea-and-secrets]

My parents are trying to push me out of the nest and I'm terrified. They don't understand that I'm not freeloading, I'm disabled and I will die without their care

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[tea-and-secrets]

I'm a cis girl but I really want top surgery because I fucking hate having boobs

They look dumb, they give me back pain, they carry the risk of cancer and I don't ever plan on using them. Titties can go fuck off

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[tea-and-secrets]

I’m scared my friend has a crush on me. this would be the fourth time this has happened with someone and I don’t want to deal with it again. I love her but I don’t love her like that, I hope I’m just paranoid

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[tea-and-secrets]

OKAY YKNOW YEAH I have a secret. More like a story. Whatever. This shit to me is crazy and I can’t tell anyone really.

I (A) started at a job, followed by coworkers B and C. B is with this girl (D) and C is with her man (E). I have my own fiancé (F).

All six of us are trans so we had our little trans friend group everything’s great ya. Suddenly, C is dating B and D, E and F are having this weird thing or whatever. Time passes, I find out about the three girls dating. Whatever cool awesome. I had already had a crush on B for a little and got over it, nbd. I’m here thinking C is fine tho and turns out, she thinks the same of me.

So then it turns into A, C and F just fooling around or whatever while E is unfortunately living a little far away. Everyone’s cool everyone’s chillin. Finally C becomes my EX coworker and I get to sleep w her, but then right after (and not because of me or anything it’s unrelated), C JUST broke up with B and D. E thinks F is more into him than maybe he is and F missed the chance to talk about it w him.

Literally my life is a sitcom.

👹 -so I can find myself later

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[tea-and-secrets]

why am i literally a teenager and still more emotionally mature than both of my parents. including according to several counselors who have interacted with all of us

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[tea-and-secrets]

NPD is so fucked up. My brain should stop making me want to say "hey sorry my will to live is based entirely on how people see me and if you don't pet my head platonically I will both homicide ideate and suicide ideate at the same time"

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[tea-and-secrets]

i am (or, er, we are?) a system. almost entirely male/masc/genderless EXCEPT for one (1) demigirl.

anyways she finally started calling herself a lesbian (after months of her wanting to but worrying about 'looking fake and predatory') so i wanted to celebrate that for her. let's go lesbians let's go 🎉

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[tea-and-secrets]

Everything happens so much all the time

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[tea-and-secrets]

After I graduated from high school, I pretty much fell off the face of the earth. I haven’t talked to any of my friends in the three years since because I’m mentally fucked. I’m now less mentally fucked and have been wanting to reach out to one of my friends to reconnect but I don’t know how to. Logically I know that it’s as simple as sending him a message saying “hey what’s up” but actually sending that text feels like the end of the world. The worst part is that I know that he’s a really chill guy and the worst he’s gonna say is “I’m busy talk later.” Why is my mind like this

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