teacuparm

[teacuparm]

when I said I want to go back to my uni-town I mean not that I have to go there now.

I want to go back to my small room in the corner,

go to my friends place which only 3 blocks away,

that night we played guitar and sang a song in front of our friend bed room eventho we're in the middle semester test to distract him cuz he was study hard

that night i play futsal and hang out at burjo until midnight.

Went back to my friends kontrakan to do our task together

went to temanggung at night using shorts pants cuz we want to hike mount sumbing.

went to uni-stadium for 5pm jogging, with my friends

i thought it would never end, it feels like eternity.

apparently it’s not.

Did I regret time moving so fast? yes but it’s not my fault.

Do I enjoy playing back these memories? yes.

now this uni-town is a strange town for me.

no friends I could hang out with,

I miss purwokerto tonight.

[teacuparm]

“I hope you live a life you’re proud of. If you find that you’re not, I hope you have the strength to start all over again.”

— F. Scott Fitzgerald

[teacuparm]

I’d like to repeat the advice I gave you before, in that I think you really should make a radical change in your lifestyle and begin to boldly do things which you may previously never have thought of doing, or been too hesitant to attempt. So many people live within unhappy circumstances and yet will not take the initiative to change their situation because they are conditioned to a life of security, conformity, and conservatism, all of which may appear to give one peace of mind, but in reality nothing is more damaging to the adventurous spirit within a man than a secure future. The very basic core of a man’s living spirit is his passion for adventure. The joy of life comes from our encounters with new experiences, and hence there is no greater joy than to have an endlessly changing horizon, for each day to have a new and different sun. If you want to get more out of life, you must lose your inclination for monotonous security and adopt a helter-skelter style of life that will at first appear to you to be crazy. But once you become accostumed to such a life you will see its full meaning and its incredible beauty. And so, in short, get out of Salton City and hit the Road. I guarantee you will be very glad you did. But I fear that you will ignore my advice. You think that I am stubborn, but you are even more stubborn than me. You had a wonderful chance on your drive back to see one of the greatest sights on earth, the Grand Canyon, something every American should see at least once in his life. But for some reason incomprehensible to me you wanted nothing but to bolt for home as quickly as possible, right back to the same situation which you see day after day after day. I fear you will follow this same inclination in the future and thus fail to discover all the wonderful things that God has placed around us to discover. Don’t settle down and sit in one place. Move around, be nomadic, make each day a new horizon. You are still going to live a long time, and it would be a shame if you did not take the opportunity to revolutionize your life and move into a new realm of experience.

You are wrong if you think Joy emanates only or principally from human relationships. God has placed it all around us. It is in everything and anything we might experience. We just have to have the courage to turn against our habitual lifestyle and engage in unconventional living.

My point is that you do not need me or anyone else around to bring this new kind of light into your life. It is simply waiting out there for you to grasp it, and all you have to do is reach for it. The only person you are fighting is yourself and your stubbornness to engage in new circumstances.

…You will see things and meet people and there is much to learn from them. And you must do it economy style, no motels, do your own cooking, as a general rule spend as little as possible and you will enjoy it much more immensely. Don’t hesitate or allow yourself to make excuses. Just get out and do it. Just get out and do it. You will be very, very glad that you did.

-Chris McCandless

I just finished reading this book and it changed me forever.

[teacuparm]

“I think you lost all interest in this world. You were disappointed and discouraged, and lost interest in everything. So you abandoned your physical body. You went to a world apart and you’re living a different kind of life there. In a world inside you.”

— Haruki Murakami, 1Q84

[teacuparm]

“In other words, let’s face it: Life is basically unfair. But even in a situation that’s unfair, I think it’s possible to seek out a kind of fairness. Of course, that might take time and effort. And maybe it won’t seem to be worth all that. It’s up to each individual to decide whether or not it is.”

— Haruki Murakami, What I Talk About When I Talk About Running

[teacuparm]

“But I must admit I miss you terribly. The world is too quiet without you nearby.”

— Lemony Snicket

[teacuparm]

[teacuparm]

Sometimes you want to forget the fact that you’re alone, and instead, you want to relish the feeling that someone understands you, someone is fighting the same battle that you are. Also, you know, sometimes you just want to feel wanted and desired. Sometimes you want to feel what it feels like with someone new. Sometimes you forget about whether you’re ready to do something, and you just let yourself do it.

[teacuparm]

From experience, I can tell you that if you go around trying to figure out what's fair in life or whether you deserve something or not, that's a rabbit hole that is hard to climb out.

[teacuparm]

I think I have to believe that life will work out the way it needs to. If everything that happens in the world is just a result of chance and there’s no rhyme or reason to any of it, that’s just too chaotic for me to handle. I’d have to go around questioning every decision I’ve ever made, every decision I will ever make. If our fate is determined with every step we take....it’s too exhausting. I’d prefer to believe that things happen as they are meant to happen.

[teacuparm]

We were all born to be peaceful citizens of the world. Take care of your global garden and do not allow evil gardeners to try and convince you which flowers are ugly and which should be destroyed. This is God's universe and he is the master gardener of all. If you see ugliness in his creations, then you see ugliness in our creator. Wake up. If we eliminate all colors in his garden, then what would be a rainbow with only one color? And what would be a garden with only one kind of flower? Why would the creator create a vast assortment of plants, ethnicities, and animals, if only one beast or seed is to dominate all of existence?

[teacuparm]

I felt the taste of mortality in my mouth, and at that moment I understood that I was not going to live forever. It takes a long time to learn that, but when you finally do, everything changes inside you, you can never be the same again. I was seventeen years old, and all of a sudden, without the slightest flicker of a doubt, I understood that my life was my own, that it belonged to me and no one else. I’m talking about freedom, Fogg. A sense of despair that becomes so great, so crushing, so catastrophic, that you have no choice but to be liberated by it. That’s the only choice, or else you crawl into a corner and die.

[teacuparm]

Look at the stars. It won't fix the economy. It won't stop wars. It won't give you flat abs, or even help you figure out your relationship. But it's important. It helps you to remember that you and your problems are both infinitesimally small and conversely, that you are a piece of an amazing and vast universe.

[teacuparm]

Life is painful and messed up. It gets complicated at the worst of times, and sometimes you have no idea where to go or what to do. Lots of times people just let themselves get lost, dropping into a wide open, huge abyss. But that's why we have to keep trying. We have to push through all that hurts us, work past all our memories that are haunting us. Sometimes the things that hurt us are the things that make us strongest. A life without experience, in my opinion, is no life at all. And that's why I tell everyone that, even when it hurts, never stop yourself from living.

[teacuparm]

my mind kept thinking about how people mentioned that life is a punishment being alive meant you would have to endure pain again and again but it only took one glance towards the twinkle in your eyes, and suddenly I believe that the world is not as cruel as it is supposed to be my mind kept thinking about how no one in this world was kind everyone was born with their own innate evil, ready to be unleashed, just like how children had never been taught to lie and to hit and to throw tantrums and yet they did but then you said that it is okay to turn my running into walking, and maybe your comforting words were all I need to keep moving forward. my mind kept thinking about how all things are ephemeral, especially the beautiful ones cherry blossoms wilted in weeks and cicadas only had one chance to live above ground--but then even the ray from dead stars travels through the universe for billion years, and that gentle gratitude you send to us from the screen should be enough to keep the fire in my soul alight once more.

[teacuparm]

She closes her eyes. He probably won’t come back, she thinks. Or he will, differently. What they have now they can never have back again. But for her the pain of loneliness will be nothing to the pain that she used to feel, of being unworthy. He brought her goodness like a gift and now it belongs to her. Meanwhile his life opens out before him in all directions at once. They’ve done a lot of good for each other. Really, she thinks, really. People can really change one another. You should go, she says. I’ll always be here. You know that.”

[teacuparm]

Don't think twice, it's all right

Well it ain't no use to sit and wonder why, babe Ifin' you don't know by now An' it ain't no use to sit and wonder why, babe It'll never do some how When your rooster crows at the break a dawn Look out your window and I'll be gone You're the reason I'm trav'lin' on Don't think twice, it's all right

And it ain't no use in a-turnin' on your light, babe The light I never knowed An' it ain't no use in turnin' on your light, babe I'm on the dark side of the road But I wish there was somethin' you would do or say To try and make me change my mind and stay We never did too much talkin' anyway But don't think twice, it's all right

No it ain't no use in callin' out my name, gal Like you never done before And it ain't no use in callin' out my name, gal I can't hear ya any more I'm a-thinkin' and a-wond'rin' wallkin' way down the road I once loved a woman, a child I am told I give her my heart but she wanted my soul But don't think twice, it's all right

So long honey babe Where I'm bound, I can't tell Goodbye is too good a word, babe So I just say fare thee well I ain't sayin' you treated me unkind You could have done better but I don't mind You just kinda wasted my precious time But don't think twice, it's all right