tealfruit - Tumblr blog

[tealfruit]

I've been having a very difficult few years, and a very, very difficult past couple months, but it's always nice to have a place to come back to. Happy 4/13

[tealfruit]

Same goes for diapers. I didn't see a thing

[tealfruit]

yknow those ppl who insisted f1nnster was a disgusting femboy pervert encroaching on the safe space of valid transsexuals? i wonder if those ppl now feel any regret for what they posted. or if instead theyll just pull a Gender Calvinism and say its ok because he was always-already a woman, even retroactively.

see in the trans community you have to be trans in like, specific and palatable ways. you cant be ambiguous about it, you cant be playful, you cant be arch. your gender is a document you sign in blood, and maybe it's okay to revise that document through the proper channels, but don't you dare try to pull anything over on anyone. you had better use the right gender words, and repeat the right discourse pts, and then maybe when you are doxxed for being a faggot, we will care about you. because you identified as trans just in time, just quick enough for it to matter when something happens to you.

i know this is me, bitching about a minority community that is vigilant and paranoid. i know why we are vigilant and paranoid. but we have to stop doing this. stop policing peoples' genders, even when you think it's "punching up." you don't know if someone is in the closet, you don't know anything at all.

fuck, man. did we learn anything from isobel fall? like, anything at all? maybe we shouldn't interrogate people about their gender and sexuality so much. it seems like it is causing more harm than good.

[tealfruit]

sometimes u will be the only person fagging it up. sometimes it'll be hard. but u gotta do it. u gotta show all the fags that fagging it up is the way. u must strive to fag it as much as possible. u have a limited time. fag it up and dyke it out

[tealfruit]

"can I be [x gender] if I..." "can I still call myself [x term] if..." yes. yes. if you like the term then use it. do whatever you want forever. labels are just little words we use to categorize our infinitely complex existential experiences on this floating rock !! no two people who use the same label are going to experience it the same way and that's the beauty of it !! use "contradictory" labels, use labels that don't make sense to anyone, change your label every day or not at all, explore anything and everything, use no labels at all or every label under the sun, confuse people or correct them or let them assume things rather than explaining, I promise nothing other people think about your identity is worth your happiness !!

[tealfruit]

“if you’re working a full time job you should be able to afford to live on your own and have access to food and transportation” gonna be real with you brother. everyone deserves this. Not just people working 40 hrs a week

[tealfruit]

[tealfruit]

reddit but in the pokemon universe, part 3 [1, 2]

[tealfruit]

Why is insincere modesty and fake generosity polite? If you turn something down don't get upset when someone else takes it.

[tealfruit]

his ass is NOT listening!!

[tealfruit]

RATING: NOT CUTE

this girl does NOT want to work. she wants to go back to bed because she is sososososo tiredd. she wants no responsibilities either please.

[tealfruit]

people born in 24 Are 2000 now

[tealfruit]

Have you ever been to earth?

On earth, we use the word “burrito” to describe a tortilla filled with things you eat. Pretty simple stuff, and I’m surprised you at least got that part right. My burrito was, in fact, filled with food. In this, you and I agree and are friends. But this is also where my lifelong hatred begins for you and anyone else whose brain has been repeatedly scrubbed with the same mixture of bleach and Pop Rocks as yours has. Because that should have killed you, but left you around long enough to do what you did to me today. Let me explain:

You’re an idiot.

Let me further explain:

Burritos are eaten from one end to the other. So that means when you assemble a burrito with motherfucking ZONES of ingredients going that direction, you create a disgusting experience for the burrito’s end user. When you make a burrito, you should put the ingredients in layerslengthwise. That way, every bite has AT LEAST A FUCKING CHANCE of getting at least two types of ingredients, and there is little chance of becoming almost hopelessly trapped in a goddamned cilantro cavern.

Have you ever eaten one of the things you make all fucking day? You should try one. They are pretty good WHEN YOU ARE NOT WILLING YOURSELF THROUGH THE FUCKING EMPIRE OF SOUR CREAM ONLY TO END UP IN LETTUCE COUNTRY.

When you eat a burrito, you don’t stand it up and bite down on it lengthwise like a fucking Rancor. Humans can’t usually dislocate their jaws, and I’m not a fucking pelican. But you must think that’s how it’s done, since that would be THE ONLY FUCKING WAY to take a bite of your crapstrosity and have it taste like a burrito.

And guess what else, player? You probably can’t guess anything, because I’m pretty sure you’re just a mop with a hat on it that fell over and spilled some shit into a tortilla, but just in case, here’s what:

Humans also don’t eat burritos like fucking corn on the cob. Like a fucking typewriter from one end to the other a little at a time and then DING next line. But today I wish I had tried that. Because at least THEN I would be able to eat some rice, then beans, then be all like HEY BEANS I’LL BE RIGHT BACK JUST GOING OVER HERE TO THE GUACAMOLE FOR A SECOND.

Nope.

My experience was more like HEY BEANS IT’S JUST GOING TO BE YOU AND I FOR A MINUTE UNTIL I CAN FUCKING EXCAVATE THE RICE FROM BENEATH YOU BUT BY THEN YOU WILL BE A FADING MEMORY OH HEY I WAS WRONG I’M IN THE FUCKING CHEESEOSPHERE NOW RICE MUST BE NEXT I HOPE IT’S NOT ANOTHER FUCKING SALSA POCKET.

You built this thing like a fucking pack of LifeSavers.

And don’t even fucking think I’m about to open this shit up and re-engineer your nonsense 90 degrees. I ALREADY PUT A HOLE IN IT WITH MY FUCKING MOUTH. YEAH. THAT’S HOW I DISCOVERED YOU FUCKING SUCK AT LOOKING AT THINGS. I AM NOT GOING TO DO FUCKING TORTILLA ORIGAMI TO GET THIS SHIT BACK TOGETHER, ONLY TO END UP WITH A BURRITO THAT’S BEEN SHOT IN THE GUT AND IS BLEEDING YOUR INEPTITUDE.

What’s that? I should ask you to mix it up first next time? IS THIS JAMBA JUICE? I DON’T WANT TO DRINK MY FUCKING BURRITO THROUGH A BENDY STRAW, AND I DON’T WANT A PILE OF BURRITO SOUP IN A FLOUR CAN.

I just want a burrito.

In conclusion:

You’re the worst thing that has ever happened to the universe, you owe everyone everywhere an apology for this burritobomination, and I hope your babies look like monkeys.

UPDATE FOR EVERYONE WHO SAID “JUST EAT IT WITH A FORK”:

A fucking fork?

I DIDN’T ORDER THE FUCKING COBBURRITO SALAD.

If anyone ever handed me a burrito with a fork, THEY WOULD BE WEARING A BRAND NEW BURRITO HAT FROM MY FALL COLLECTION TEN SECONDS LATER.

That’s like buying a car and having them hand you a fucking wrench with the keys. Like YEAH WE KNOW THIS MOTHERFUCKER’S GOING TO EXPLODE AND BE SPREAD ACROSS EIGHT LANES AS SOON AS YOU HIT THE GAS, BUT SHIT, WE GAVE YOU A WRENCH, SO BE COOL.

Jesus already gave me two burrito forks. One at the end of each arm. They’re called fucking HANDS.

A fork. My god. I haven’t cried since I was six, but I’m fucking sobbing now.

People eat burritos with forks?

God is sorry he made us.

(Source)

[tealfruit]

Galarian Slowbro

[tealfruit]

if you tag me in a chain post and i don’t do it it’s not because i hate you it’s because i am very lazy. i love you thank you for tagging me.

[tealfruit]

meemo for ur thoughts

[tealfruit]

I see your "Laios is trans" but that dude is THE most apathetically agender person on the planet. Laios does not have time for gender. Laios does not even HAVE a gender identity, he removed it to make room for more Monster Facts.