team-sleepless - Tumblr blog

[team-sleepless]

... I don't think I ever felt real love...real love doesn't give up on you..

[team-sleepless]

No sleep for 2 days.... let me hold you so I can sleep....

[team-sleepless]

How do I find my meaning to life again? That's what I've asked myself for a month straight all night every night... and I haven't found the answer and I'm beginning to feel as if I won't find my answer...

[team-sleepless]

I hate you so much because I love you to death... and you're not mine...

[team-sleepless]

.... For almost a month, I've barely said a word to anyone. I haven't been interested in talking about things, "THINGS", that don't really interest me and it's sad because I should want to have those conversations with people.. Tell me about the universe or your soul or what you learned about yourself today or your love. I'm at a point where things don't keep my attention... And that leads to me having less people in my life....... I'm such a piece of shit 😔

[team-sleepless]

I got fucked up and dropped my heart somewhere.... I need to find it.. Until then I have nothing to give you...

[team-sleepless]

Rant.....

I'm not scared of death but I don't want to know if that's what I have in store for me just yet... There's so much inside of me to let out.. I feel like the whole world is counting on me and they don't even know it.... I'd be more of an asset to the world if the world was based on the deeper meaning it was founded on... to the world now I'm just some crazy dude. I realize I'm not this organic automaton and I thrive for experience for soul growth rather than money for egotistical growth.... 36 years and life has been an endless thing of negative experiences that made my mind the way it is.... I am an experience...

[team-sleepless]

[team-sleepless]

I wanna know what's on or in your mind... I don't want to know about all these "things" on the surface... that's not what I'm about.. you'll lose my attention that way..

[team-sleepless]

If I just let everything go maybe I can breathe... ..

[team-sleepless]

Time..... How much have I wasted?

[team-sleepless]

If I could go back in time I'd tell myself:

Choose your experiences wisely bitch.

[team-sleepless]

... The mountains were alive at one point. Now they're just petrified carcasses and most don't believe me but one of these lives, you'll remember...

[team-sleepless]

Everything unnatural to us causes stress. What adds to our material aspects of our lives usually takes up some of our health and life and sanity causing stress.. I try to balance it out with passion but lately passion for something isn't what I've had... My life is in shambles I tell you!

[team-sleepless]

[team-sleepless]

BPD isn't fun. A big part of it is living with triggers.... I've been triggered so much today my brain is tingling, my heart is in my throat, my eyes want to pop out, my nervous system wants to jump out of my skin... Never thought this was a battle that I'd have to fight...

[team-sleepless]

Hug.. oh hug... Where are you when I need you?