teaspoodle

[teaspoodle]

Join us in our talk on Torterra tree care, much needed after our PoGo community day recently.

[teaspoodle]

[teaspoodle]

[teaspoodle]

no more sex. we ran out of sex

[teaspoodle]

bro im gonna CRY i didnt know this 🥺

[teaspoodle]

he can do "arf" and be your boyfriend at the same time

[teaspoodle]

FTM PASSING ADVICE

- start wearing typically masculine clothing, like suits with wide shoulders

- people will tell you to not wear pinstripes because it'll make your chest and curves more obvious but think of it as a disguise to throw off their scent, like a zebra. it's urban camouflage

- start callin other men "boss" as a sign of respect

- always make sure to stay safe, keep a switchblade on you or a handgun or something

- consider your diet, work some carbs and fat in there for when T starts workin it's magic. im talkin pasta, pizza, lasagna

- tuck your hair up into a fedora if ya can't cut it

- remember to voice train, if you layer on an accent maybe it'll be less obvious, like a Brooklyn one if you're not already from there

- start snappin your rhythmically and intimidatingly when you find the poor bastard that owes the big man up top that several hundred grand who hasn't paid his dues yet. that'll show em who's the dominant man in the situation

- put a playlist of noir jazz music together and have it playing on your phone in your pocket so it follows you at all times, this is crucial to exuding masculine energy

- don't bind for more than 6-7 hours straight

[teaspoodle]

[teaspoodle]

I made a bad comic and now you have to look at it

[teaspoodle]

i really like this thing where websites will have separate "log in" & "sign up" buttons and if you click "log in" it takes you to a sign-up screen anyway so you have to click "i already have an account" and then it will ask if you want to sign in with your facebook account or with instagram or linkedin or deviantart or whatever, and if you choose "username & password" it asks if you want to put in your username or use your thumbprint, and once you put your username & password it emails you a confirmation code, and once you put in the code it says "do you want to give us your phone number for future sign-ins? do you want to sign up for facial recognition? do you want to give us your bones? give us your fucking bones?

[teaspoodle]

I am so bad at posting here consistently but I feel like Tumblr would appreciate my best friend Fishbag (and the various creatures that live within her)

[teaspoodle]

I think when you correctly identify a trauma that is the base of a woe of yours it should just disappear. It should be like "aaahh. you got me" and vanish and leave 100 dollars behind

[teaspoodle]

When I say editing software is getting dumber, this is what I mean.

In what world is "What dinnered?" more legible than "What happened to dinner?" I just... what?!

[teaspoodle]

Just make it exist first, you can make it good later

[teaspoodle]

HAPPY METROID DREAD RELEASE DAY 🎊✨ Samus has an orb mode so… happy Orbtober 🎊⚪️