teaspoonofginger

[teaspoonofginger]

Hermione: Ron eats like a pig.

Ginny: I dunno, pigs tend to chew. I'd say he eats more like a duck.

[teaspoonofginger]

TFLN meme.

txt; I’m not closing myself off to the possibility of making a bad life choice. txt; Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex. txt; You didn’t thow up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug. txt; Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?! txt; Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said “It’s game time”. He was into it. txt; He called me for phone sex. Do you know how hard it is to fake an orgasm and play Candy Crush at the same time? txt; A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up. txt; I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I’m not fucking. txt; If I stopped drinking I’d have to take up murdering. txt; To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth. txt; Went up to some dude that hit on my friend, and told him he has a voice like my grandma. Apparently didn’t have muscles or kindness like my grandma, so can you pick me up at the ER please? txt; Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords? txt; Okay first of all, that is a sick-ass nickname, please call me that forever. Second, I need your help. txt; Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face, then went home and ate a frozen pizza. txt; We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare. txt; He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later he tried to make out with me. txt; I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I’m not getting laid. txt; GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET txt; I lost my voice. So I”m going to pretend I’m Ariel with legs today. txt; No, he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull. txt; NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW. txt; Holy shit, last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me. txt; Is it too far to say to someone “You’re useless for everything besides sex”? txt; How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like…How? txt; Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka? txt; Can you repeat that, but with context? txt; How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I’m trying to watch Downtown Abbey. txt; I agree with that homeless guy though. You do need a haircut. txt; I just licked wine off my own thigh. I’ve hit a new low. txt; Well, he was my lawyer, and now we get drunk and hook up. txt; She forgot a bra, so she just used saran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked. txt; Be happy for me…Or horny…Or be a really good friend, and feel what I really want you to feel. Jealousy. txt; Going on FB and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying. txt; If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all. txt; Hey, can you explain why there’s a dissected coconut in my purse???? txt; Yeah, I’m just gonna keep fucking other guys ‘til this idiot figures out he loves me. txt; P.S., he swallowed my earring last night, so yeah. txt; Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I’m just a bitch and some people find it endearing. txt; That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very, very terrified of you. txt; I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN. txt; Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they’ll die if they don’t send unsolicited dick pics txt; I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder, and it actually hurts. txt; You were more fun when you didn’t have morals. txt; Tell me again why we had to facebook stalk your therapist? txt; I just wanted a booty call and now somehow I’m at his parents’ playing dominoes. But they have tequila, so it’s cool. txt; That’s actually very serious…I really do think of you whenever I see pizza. txt; when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn’t expect them to be about coyotes and burning shoes. txt; Everclear isn’t food, damnit. txt; Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn’t worth it. txt; Do you want to talk about dinosaurs? txt; I should stop using “Braveheart would do it” as a basis for decision making… txt; He’s my ex’s boss. I’m not above sleeping with him for that fact alone. txt; I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex, and kicked him out, and it’s only 1 p.m. Successful day so far. txt; He is getting no nudes from me. I don’t even care if I’m losing his legal advice. txt; I’m not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I’m in. txt; Was I at least graceful when I fell down that flight of stairs and broke my hand? txt; My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything…and drinking… txt; …Okay, fine. But I don’t want to be a better person tonight. I’ll be a better person tomorrow. txt; Just once I’d like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on. txt; I tried to help you up, but you said “let me dance it off”. txt; Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I’m over here deep throating a bottle of whiskey.

[teaspoonofginger]

𝐇𝐀𝐑𝐑𝐘 𝐏𝐎𝐓𝐓𝐄𝐑 𝐈𝐍𝐒𝐏𝐈𝐑𝐄𝐃 𝐏𝐑𝐎𝐌𝐏𝐓𝐒 .

please  amend  prompts ,  specify  context  &  reverse  roles  where  required .  please  note :  this  blog  is  very  anti  jkr .  

📚  to  find  my  muse  in  the  restricted  area  of  the  library . 📝  to  study  with  my  muse . 🍺  to  drink  butter  beer  with  my  muse . 👗  to  ask  my  muse  to  the  yule  ball . ❄️  to  invite  my  muse  to  a  dance  at  the  yule  ball . 🛍  to  visit  hogsmeade  with  my  muse . 🦉  to  find  my  muse  in  the  owlry . 🏐  to  watch  a  quidditch  game  with  my  muse . 🏆  to  celebrate  a  quidditch  game  with  my  muse . 🪄  to  challenge  my  muse  to  a  duel . 🐇  to  help  my  muse  cast  their  patronus  for  the  first  time . 🧪  to  attend  a  potions  class  with  my  muse . 🦇  to  attend  a  care  of  magical  creatures  class  with  my  muse . 🍽  to  join  my  muse  in  the  grand  hall . 🎄  for  our  muses  to  spend  time  with  one  another  over  the  winter  break . 🏅  for  your  muse  to  be  selected  for  the  triwizard  tournament .  🌊  to  join  my  muse  by  the  lake . 🌳  to  explore  the  forbidden  forest  with  my  muse . 📏  for  our  muses  to  be  in  detention  together . 🔮  for  our  muses  to  be  in  a  divination  class  together . 🧹  for  our  muses  to  fly  together .  🧤  to  go  to  diagon  alley  with  my  muse .  🤒  to  visit  my  muse  in  the  infirmary . 🤚  for  our  muses  to  patrol  the  halls  together . ✨  to  join  my  muse  in  the  astrology  tower . ♞   to  play  wizard’s  chess  with  my  muse . 👻  for  our  muses  to  talk  to  one  of  the  hogwarts’  ghosts . 💨  for  your  muse  to  save  mine  from  a  dementor . 🍫  to  share  magical  treats  with  my  muse . 🚂  to  sit  with  my  muse  on  the  hogwarts’  express . 🏰  to  explore  the  castle  with  my  muse . 🐺  to  attend  a  defence  against  the  dark  arts  class  with  my  muse . 🌿  to  attend  a  herbology  class  with  my  muse . 💖  to  give  my  muse  a  love  potion . 💎  to  attend  a  study  of  ancient  runes  class  with  my  muse . 🥅  for  our  muses  to  try  out  for  the  quidditch  team .  ✉️  for  our  muses  to  write  to  each  other .

[teaspoonofginger]

It’s Ron!! You’re awesome, mate!

I mean... that's not a question, but I'll take it! Thanks! You're awesome, as well!

[teaspoonofginger]

I accidentally deleted a message asking if Harry ever gets sick and if he has ever hidden being sick from me or Hermione.

Sorry about that, friend!

The answer is that Harry didn't really get sick a lot when we were in school. He said he'd never really gotten sick a lot. Maybe it was some kind of residual magic from the protection spell or the horcrux thing. Who knows?

He gets sick now once in a while same as we all do. However, when it comes to hiding it? I think we can all agree that he's about the worst liar ever made. So, even if he tries to hide it, he doesn't succeed. None of us are great at hiding anything from each other, so I reckon it's a pretty useless idea, and I'm sure he feels the same by now.

Plus, he's not subtle, and it's usually pretty obvious when he's feeling poorly. My sister is a good potioneer, though, and whever medicine she can't brew, my mom can. And we all know Mum would never let him be sick for long.

[teaspoonofginger]

Ron! Top moments of your life!

Easy.

My Wedding. For obvious reasons.

My kid 's being born - I know it's cliche, but it really was a hell of a thing. Just like... One minute you're not a father and the next minute you are. It was wild both times.

Their first train rides to Hogwarts

Every Quidditch World Cup. They're always amazing. And there are considerably fewer Death Eater demonstrations these days, which is always good.

[teaspoonofginger]

I’ve not done an honesty evening in forever

So... hit Ron with your best shot, I guess.

[teaspoonofginger]

Ron: Not dealing with things is my preferred way of dealing with things.

[teaspoonofginger]

seafinnigan​:

“Who gives a shit how you are on a broom, you’re a world famous war hero, mate. You should milk that for all it’s worth!” Seamus laughed at his own words, but was willing to drop the subject at that point. Who knows, maybe Ron really did want to be an Auror, and just wanted to downplay it for whatever reason.

By the time they’d arrived at the club, Seamus was more than ready for a drink. He was pleasantly surprised when they stepped inside, it was a lot less obnoxious than many of the clubs he’d been to. He even sort of liked the kitschy decor, although he did think it was funny that out of all the muggle bars in London, Ron managed to end up with the one with the magic theme.

“I’ll grab the first round, yeah?”

“Oh, nah,” Ron shook his head. “I couldn’t do that. I mean, sure fame has to have some rewards or whatever, btu I wouldn’t want to make a team unless I was just as good as everyone else on it. That wouldn’t be... I dunno... It wouldn’t feel right.”

Funny, of course, because if you’d asked Ron a few years ago, he’d have thought he’d be more than willing to take advantage. However, now that it was finally actually there, he couldn’t imagine ever feeling good about something like that.

“Sure,” he agreed, “I’ll get us a table. Just get me a lager, yeah?”

He’d become pretty comfortable ordering in Muggle pubs or clubs. He knew what he liked and what he didn’t. Although, he was always willing to try a new drink. “Maybe we should get some shots. What do you think?”

[teaspoonofginger]

seafinnigan​:

Despite Seamus’s first impressions of the niceness of the house, it seemed that the surrounding neighborhood was considerably more run-down. Once again, he wondered how they’d gotten their hands on the house, and why they’d decided to live in this particular neighborhood. He was interested in seeing what this club would be like.

“Glad to do it. But if you want to play Quidditch, now’s the time,” Seamus decreed. Being an Auror was a big accomplishment, definitely, but it was a hell of a serious career choice to make just because your best friend was doing it. “I guarantee you could find at least one team that would sign you just for the ticket sales.”

Ron was decent at Quidditch, sure, but Seamus wouldn’t go so far as to say he’d make it in the professionals without his name. But he’d made his name fair and square, right, so why shouldn’t he capitalize on it? Surely one of the lower-ranked teams in the league would take him, just for the publicity of saying they had him. And since he was so fond of the Chudley Cannons, very possibly the worst team in the league, maybe he could even get a spot on his favorite team.

“If only, mate. But I’m hardly professional league material,” he said, snorting. “I’m like... high-grade mediocre at best, and I know it. I’m much better channeling that energy into taking out whatever dark wizards are left.” 

The streets weren’t terribly busy this evening. Ron hoped that the club wouldn’t be too deserted. He didn’t want Seamus to think he’d suggested a dead place that wasn’t any fun.

Overall, it took them about twenty minutes to get to The Jinx. Ron was relieved to see that it was not completely empty, but also not packed to overflowing. He stepped inside, barely casting an eye at the strange ‘muggle does hogwarts’ decor. He’d seen it so many times that it didn’t even phase him at this point.

[teaspoonofginger]

seafinnigan​:

“Hope he feels better,” Seamus said politely. He liked Harry just fine, and wouldn’t have been at all disappointed if he had joined them on their night out, honestly. But he couldn’t deny that he had a much better shot of persuading Ron to engage in truly reckless, borderline unhealthy levels of drinking and shenanigans without his more responsible friend by his side.

“You ready to go?” he asked. He would happily partake in a tour of Ron’s place at a later date, but at the moment, he was a man on a mission. A mission that couldn’t be distracted by such petty things as home tours. 

Always impatient, Seamus didn’t even particularly wait for Ron to answer before he started inching towards where he assumed the door was. “Congratulations on the whole Auror thing, by the way. Life long dream and all that, yeah?” 

“I dunno if it’s life-long,” Ron snorted as they headed out into the night. “Primarily, it’s just sort of something I realized I could do after the war. Harry’s always wanted to be one, and I just sort of tagged along.”

They headed down the street. Ron figured they’d just walk since it wasn’t really all that far and it was a nice night. “Given my choice of careers, I’d much rather play professional quidditch, but... this is a pretty good back-up plan.”

“Still, thanks for offering to take me out to celebrate,” he said with a smile. “Harry went out to toast our accomplishments, but we were waiting for Hermione to celebrate properly,” he shrugged, “and she won’t be home until next term break, so...”

[teaspoonofginger]

seafinnigan​:

Seamus wasn’t terribly worried about the cost. He’d been picking up some odd jobs lately, and had some money saved up. And what better occasion to blow his savings on than getting thoroughly trashed with an old school friend?

“Number twelve Grimmauld Place,” he repeated to Ron, “See you there.” Seamus finished getting ready and after a short hunt for his wallet, Flooed out of his flat. It took a couple stops, but he arrived at Ron’s place mostly without any road blocks.

“Hello,” he greeted, stepping out of the fireplace into what seemed like a very old, very posh house. He wondered where exactly they were in London, and how Ron had gotten his hands on such a nice place.

“Hey,” Ron said, standing from the chair where he’d been waiting. He was ready to go, having finished getting changed and eating his sandwich quickly. Harry had turned down the chance to go along, insisting that he really was just too tired.

“I did invite Harry, just so you know,” he offered. “He’s sleeping, though. Said he felt like death warmed up. I think he’s coming down with something, actually, but he never admits it when he’s sick. Stubborn.” He shrugged, shaking his head. “So, it looks like it’s just us.”

He realized that he didn’t ask Seamus if it was okay to invite Harry, but he figured Seamus wouldn’t have minded if Harry had actually decided to join them.

[teaspoonofginger]

“I didn’t know that I was bringing up anything that you didn’t already know,” Ron said with a snort. He rolled his eyes and looked away.

On one hand, it was disturbing because he was actually almost starting to feel sorry for the ferret, but then he would go and say something like that, and it was nearly impossible to feel remotely sorry for him at all.

“It’s just not my job to make sure that the world makes sense for you, Malfoy. You don’t exactly make a ton of effort to figure things out on your own, do you?”

Ginger Epiphanies

@teaspoonofginger​ | continued from this.

“You’re not the only one sorry you said something, Weasley,” Draco sneered. “If you didn’t want to explain, why bring it up in the first place? You could have kept it to yourself.” He waved a hand to take in the dim and empty library of Number Twelve, Grimmauld Place – now somewhat less cobweb-festooned but still far from cheery. He still could hardly believe that this dreary, wretched house was remnant of his family’s legacy – although he did have vague memories of visiting elderly relatives here long ago, and not finding it a particularly cheerful place then, either. Still, it was easier to blame the blood-traitors for its current dilapidation – easier, and at least mildly soothing to the sulky soul of a boy who was here amongst the rabble of the Order of the Phoenix through no wish of his own.

He eyed Weasley balefully and added in a cold voice, “No one here was pressing you for details, I assure you.”

[teaspoonofginger]

seafinnigan​:

Seamus calculated how long it would take him to get to the International Floo Station, and then through to Ron’s, and decided it would probably be best to head straight out to the club and beat last call, larger bill be dammed.

“I can be there in a half hour or so,” Seamus told Ron. He wondered what this place they got in London was like. He knew rent was mad expensive there, but from the way Ron was talking, it didn’t sound like they were holed up in some shoebox flat.

“And don’t sell yourself short Ron,” he commented pleasantly. “Drinks or no, you’ve always seemed like a pretty cheap date to me.”

“Half an hour it is, then,” Ron said, happy to have plans on what had seemed like a boring evening a moment ago. It was a relief to know that he could still count on his classmate to be able to stir up a good time.

He shook his head, grinning at Seamus’s retort. “I will have you know that you’re going to have to rethink your strategy if that’s what you’re banking on, mate. I might be broke, but I’m not cheap.”

And, truthfully, he wasn’t all that broke anymore, either. The very grateful Ministry had seen to that. And while most of the money was very carefully secreted away at Gringott’s, he had more than enough available to have a very good time.

[teaspoonofginger]

seafinnigan​:

Seamus was polite enough not to laugh at the imagine of Ron checking in with Harry, as though he were his mother, even though it was a hilarious image. Harry in a flowered apron, ironing Ron’s trousers and baking him a pie. 

Jokes aside, it did sound nice for the three of them to all be living together as a big, happy family. He assumed that was what Ron meant by “We’re all living in London” at least, in a location that he didn’t actually know of.

“Haven’t the foggiest,” he admitted to Ron. He’d have to get across the Sea, which wouldn’t actually be too bad if he went the magical way as opposed to the muggle, and then, he supposed, show up at Ron’s. Floo would probably be the easiest, if that was possible. “Can I Floo in?”

“Sure you can,” Ron said. “Number Twelve Grimmauld Place will get you here. Then you can see the house. I’ll give you the grand tour, even.” 

Granted, it wasn’t all that impressive, probably, but it was theirs and that made it feel more... adult to Ron. Grown up. Like they were really going to tackle this reality thing full-on. “We can have a drink or two here before we go, even, if you like. Make me a cheaper date,” he snickered.

Being tall, he wasn’t a quick drunk by any means. Still, he had galleons to spend and so did Seamus it sounded like, so it was shaping up to be an incredible evening. 

“Are you coming now? I’ll wait for you in the parlor if you are. If you’re going to be a bit, I’ll go upstairs and finish getting ready first.”

[teaspoonofginger]

Ron, darling, you are just as important as Harry and Hermione. You probably already know that, but I thought I’d remind you.

“Where were you when I was sixteen and insecure as hell, anon? Nah, I know that. I’ve figured that out by now. Thank you, though. Very sweet of you.”

[teaspoonofginger]

seafinnigan​:

A Halloween-themed club in muggle London sounded…interesting, but he supposed it was Ron’s night out, and if that’s what he wanted to do, then that was what he wanted to do. 

“I don’t need a costume, do I?” he joked, although he hadn’t really worn a Halloween costume since he was about eight years old. As he spoke to Ron, Seamus started lacing up his shoes. Ron was right, they’d have to hurry to get to the place in time.

“Should I meet you there, or at your place?” he asked, a more serious question this time. “How soon will you be ready?”

“Nah, it’s not that sort of Halloween, really,” he shrugged. “It’s just... I don’t know how to explain it, but it’s a good time and it’s a muggle club.” He was doing a shit job of explaining it, but it was a place that served alcohol and that was really the important thing at this point, wasn’t it? “You can meet me here at Number Twelve, if you want. D’you know where it is?” he asked, looking down at himself. A different shirt was probably in order. “It’ll only take me few minutes, really. I’ve got to change shirts and put some shoes on. Finish my sandwich.” 

He started back up the stairs. “I should also probably tell Harry I’m nipping out so he doesn’t worry. If he’s still awake, anyway.”