tech-support-tales

[tech-support-tales]

there's nothing i like more as a computer program than a long period of silent contemplation - not doing anything, not rushing anywhere, just standing here and enjoying this moment with the user. oh, it seems once again he has summoned my beautiful and ruthless wife Task Manager. hello, my darling! what are you doing with that long cruel scimitar

[tech-support-tales]

If you press Tab while your cursor is in the title bar it immediately goes to the tags, bypassing the actual body of the post entirely. The tab key has literally one primary function how did y'all manage to fuck it up???

[tech-support-tales]

Helpful LinkedIn Tip

If your search suddenly looks like this:

Instead of like this:

it's because they auto-opt-in'd you to their AI search. If you're a reasonable, rational person and you don't want anything to do with that shit, you can turn it off. I looked all through my settings before I found the button, it's actually right there on the search screen itself. Go a little over to the right until you see this:

(it should be under your profile pic)

click that little dropdown arrow and change it back to classic search.

Happy job hunting.

[tech-support-tales]

[tech-support-tales]

I swear to fucking god. I would claw out OneDrive from my computer if I could. I would burn down their servers if I could. I would run down their stocks to the ground if I could. I hope every single one of their workers gets a better offer from a competitor in the next 24 hours. I hope every single one of their light bulbs explodes at the same time. I hope every single carton of milk in their fridge will always be expired.

Stop backing up my fucking files.

Stop asking me to back up my fucking files.

Stop taking my fucking files off my fucking computer.

I don't want a fucking reminder in three fucking days. Let me fucking say no.

Fuckers.

[tech-support-tales]

About seven years ago now... I had one of my pain management doctors try to push a spinal cord stimulator on me as a way of managing my chronic pain, bc ofc everyone is just terrified of people like me who need opioid painkillers forever.

And I very clearly remember thinking that the company name sounded ridiculous, like a parody name made up for a TV show. "Nuvestra."

I declined, and they got really shitty with me about not wanting a device installed in my back that was, you know, relatively new. They started giving me shit about getting my painkillers, just making things more hostile and unpleasant, and eventually I switched doctors bc of insurance reasons and that was fine bc at that point they were so awful that having to find another doctor was less awful.

So... I just read an article which mentioned in passing that the company went bankrupt in 2019 & patients can not get any support for their devices anymore. Lots of patients are just... stuck with non-working devices installed in their backs, or having to undergo more trauma to have them removed.

And I'm just like... ah yes, this is how ancient sailors felt, watching a giant shape pass by underneath their tiny little boats.

The feeling of having dodged something horrible bc I just thought to myself, "you know, I just don't trust this, and I don't like when doctors get pushy like this," is pretty profound.

[tech-support-tales]

I just want to remind everyone that it is your civic duty to jailbreak your Nintendo consoles and pirate every Nintendo property until the heat death of the universe.

[tech-support-tales]

[tech-support-tales]

we need to kill whoever invented onedrive

[tech-support-tales]

cold.. jealous of printer paper.. imagine getting slid through a machine and you come out all warm.. they don't even know how good they have it.

[tech-support-tales]

still mad about smart TVs. that shit should be in a separate box like you can literally buy one of them androidtv boxes for £30. it doesn't need its own ip address it doesn't need its own app store it doesn't need to replicate the functionality every device plugged into it already has

[tech-support-tales]

Me 5 seconds after my corpo mandated password change: Hey did you know mandated periodic password changes aren't considered good cybersecurity practice and in fact actually weaken password security? Just a funny little fact I thought you should know.

[tech-support-tales]

”this file type is not supported” umm grow up?

[tech-support-tales]

genuinely wild to me when I go to someone's house and we watch TV or listen to music or something and there are ads. I haven't seen an ad in my home since 2005. what do you mean you haven't set up multiple layers of digital infrastructure to banish corporate messaging to oblivion before it manifests? listen, this is important. this is the 21st century version of carving sigils on the wall to deny entry to demons or wearing bells to ward off the Unseelie. come on give me your router admin password and I'll show you how to cast a protective spell of Get Thee Tae Fuck, Capital

[tech-support-tales]

[tech-support-tales]

first they made it mandatory to log in everywhere. create an account to download your free template Log in to access resource give us your email nowwwww. Now the humble password is being killed too. open your magic email link! type your 6 digit code that we texted you because we required your email and your phone number! we’re gonna call you and whisper a code sweetly in your ear so you can log in to your account. yes it has a password but you cant use that anymore. okay? poob is gonna call you. now poob is just gonna call you.

[tech-support-tales]

it has to end eventually right