technically-a-legume-blog

[technically-a-legume-blog]

If Asgardians speak English but originate from Scandinavian folklore, then by all rights shouldn’t Thor, Loki, and company sound like they’re from Minnesota?

[technically-a-legume-blog]

i’ve got three monarch carterpillars and I’ve got a phone taped to the side of the jar they’re in so I can take a timelapse when they do cool shit like turn into a chrysalis but THEY KEep DoING THE SHiT At NiGHt those little fuckers

im going to get you on camera SOME DAY

[technically-a-legume-blog]

september, what’s the mood?

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Houses as Tumblr Text Post

Gryffindor: Your inability to learn handshakes is teaRING THIS GANG APART

Hufflepuff: My kink is people underestimating me and ending up wrong and embarrassed

Ravenclaw: If you can't dazzle them with your brilliance, baffle them with your bullshit

Slytherin: I'm wearing all black to mourn the death of my motivation

[technically-a-legume-blog]

who am i actually posting for

im essentially talking to myself

aw yeah this is the fuckin life

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no, but i’m really working on stepping outside my comfort zones this year

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I agree

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garlic naan

[technically-a-legume-blog]

apple pie recipe

spicy apples: enough

white sugar: a good scoop

brown sugar: 1/4 cup

cinnamon: like a good spash

sinnamon: that’s up to you dude

cook all that down so it’s weak and floppy, like my willpower. drain the juice and boil that down more until it’s like a jelly consistency.  add some honey if you’re feelin rishky.

okay now the crust

flour: 3 half assed cups

butter: one.5 sticks

brown sugar*: as much as your strength of will can allow

*use white sugar if you’re fucking weak

mix that shit together.  use your hands like the real warrior princess you are.  the more frozen the butter the more strength you will build, and therefore the more force with which you can wield a sword in battle.

add some cold water until it comes together into a nice smooth ball.  stick it in the fridge, or your soul if a fridge isn’t available.

okay then like 30 min later roll out the crust and put the pie together.  put one shit ton of sugar on top.

bake at 425 farenheights until the crust looks nice (for the length of time it takes to listen to beethoven’s 5th sonata for violin and piano), then bake on 325 farenheights until pie is bubbly (like 45 min).

if you listen to flute while doing this you’re a fuckin tool

[technically-a-legume-blog]

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I’m applying to college. Am i doing this right?

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funny boy moments 1

[technically-a-legume-blog]

this is a very nice rock and i appreciate it

this is my favorite rock from my rock collection. it is so red, square, and hefty. for something like this to form naturally, it gives me pleasure. i use it as a papers weight. for these reasons it is my favorite rock. thank you for listening. i’m wizardjpeg

[technically-a-legume-blog]

[technically-a-legume-blog]

[technically-a-legume-blog]

fun fact: if you google baryogenesis this is the first image that shows up

[technically-a-legume-blog]

if ur gonna plant desert plants like cacti u gotta put rocks in the bottom of the pot

but not your nice rocks you gotta use shit rocks bc ur never gonna see those rocks again