teefigotem

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hi everyone in case you were wondering i spent the last month hitting armand and daniel with the dykeification beam in order to go absolutely crazy about the Cycles and implications of gendered violence so please enjoy that thanks <3

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speaking of infecting my vocabulary. i saw this post and spent like three days whispering "beepeur" to myself. i don't know why this killed me but it did so i'm bringing it here.

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fledgling !

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All my haters become defenestrators when they push me out the window of success

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“average vampire is a multi-millionaire” factoid actualy just a statistical error. average vampire is slumming it in the sewers. Louis de Pointe du Lac, the vampire capitalist of all vampire capitalists, is an outlier adn should not have been counted**

**neither should his two bitch-ass ex-husbands who use his assets to cosplay the rich vampire aesthetic

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"you can't make me sanitize cheating and divorce narratives with polyshipping" trust me they can still do polyamorous cheating and polyamorous divorce. they can very extremely do that.

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giving myself psychic damage trying to listen to the iwtv audiobook. i was warned and emotionally prepared for most of it (white louis, lack of gay sex, etc etc) but nothing and i mean NOTHING could have prepared me for audiobook louis coming in strong within the first 15 seconds sounding like COUNT FUCKING DRACULA

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‘People only like Loumand because they’re trying to appear woke’ is still the funniest discourse in the world to me because being a Loumand enjoyer is easily the least woke take I could possibly have about vampire interviewed. My favorite relationship is the one where they make each other worse every day and 1 of them is gaslighting the other for 74 years. Be serious

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it is taking me OUT the way a certain subgenre of human au iwtv fic has collectively decided that armand’s main character flaw is being a cheater. they’ve decided that he’s a perfectly nice person except for cheating on daniel and/or louis and/or lestat. like babygirl i promise you he’s got maybe every flaw in the textbook EXCEPT for that one. and he DOES have commitment issues but they're the "proposes marriage after five minutes" type of commitment issues.

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watching my husband and his daughter and her girlfriend get sentenced to death and shaking my head the entire time so they know i think its wrong

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it's still extremely funny to me seeing people write interview with the vampire polyamory fics. I've perhaps never seen four people less suited to polyamory in my life. they're barely suited for one relationship let alone multiple

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iwtv universe dashboard simulator

girlbossclaudia reblogged

🐉 personafinterest Follow

If you consider yourself a 'shipper' of ANY of the dynamics in Daniel Molloy's new book unfollow me and I'm not kidding. You read a book about toxic and abusive relationships and decided to sexualize them that's on you

🩻 skeletalextractions

'don't sexualize them' is crazy. he describes one of them as doing 24/7 bdsm and describes the other couple's sex scenes in detail, multiple times

🐉 personafinterest Follow

an old man being a weirdo freak doesnt mean you have to be. he has two pulitzers and you have an ao3 account

🦚 strayitalianflamingo

do not understand vampstat's agreeing to participate in this book At All because why would you not want yourself to be cast as louis, the guy who actually got interviewed and got fucked over at every turn. at least armand eats crypto bros. what has lestat done except domestic violence and child neglect

🎆 magicalgirl Follow

sick and tired of seeing this propaganda on my dashboard. first of all it's ARMAND who abuses louis, not lestat, as you can CLEARLY tell if you actually pay any attention to the book's second half. louis isn't a reliable narrator; that's the whole point. armand just deluded him into thinking lestat had done worse than he had

🏆 vampjailbait Follow

lestat literally drops him hundreds of feet from the air causing his own daughter to orchestrate his murder. HOW would a man they had not met yet be to blame for this

🎆 magicalgirl Follow

it's a gothic horror FIRST of all and armand can manipulate memories, canonically, so I'm not sure why we would assume the truth of any of this. it's so clear that lestat is the love of louis's life, the book is a love story, and if you're not willing to see that you don't get it

🤍 johnwilliamwaterwhore

lestat was born with glass bones and paper skin and every morning he breaks his legs and at night he lies awake in agony until his heart attacks put him to sleep

🦚 strayitalianflamingo

does anyone in this thread smoke weed

strayitalianflamingo reblogged

🪻 bluelotushbo

personally I would deeply love to believe this is all real because if so all of these people may be the funniest people to ever exist. one of them has been alive since the 1700s and has decided his calling is to be a pop artist. and his boyfriend is a vegetarian art dealer who was the dom in 24-7 bdsm with a theater cult leader who he ghosted in like 1810. that's so epic

🏆 vampjailbait Follow

stfu you were posting lestat rpf like a week ago

🪻 bluelotushbo

🧛‍♀️ vampstatsmommy

Ordered my TVL merch today and the mug has the actual texture of blood on it. Epic

vampstatsmommy reblogged

🏞 loustatsno1ho Follow

okay we don't actually know much beyond that it was in the summer but happy death month to lestat! lestat de lioncourt has officially been dead for 231 slutty, slutty years 🎉

#wish I believed in this shit yall seem so happy.

🤵🏾‍♀️ girlbossclaudia

honestly if you read that book and you like a single one of them I don't trust u. I'll never forgive them for what they did to claudia

#louis i would forgive you but she's dead and can't join me so :(

strayitalianflamingo reblogged mutualaidmutuals

🏳️‍🌈 l4sbiancannibals Follow

they should make lestat a guest judge on drag race

🐠 lestatsporecleanseroil

it actually pisses me off sooo bad that he’s in a gay PR relationship with some twink who looks like his love interest from his fucking fictional vampire book. Girl didn’t straight people corner the market on this

🦋 falloutbitch Follow

is this about tvl or dan molloy

🐠 lestatsporecleanseroil

this is how im finding out vampire interviewed author has a fucking 20yearold twink boyfriend who looks like the sexy evil guy from his book I can't do this anymore

lestathater420 reblogged

🩻 skeletalextractions

honestly wish the book weren't fake bc if it weren't this would be sooo camp. imagine you break up this 500 year old guy's marriage 2 separate times and he's like I simply must have you

#feel like armand would do this as a character

lestatsporecleanseroil reblogged 69ingvampires

🛜 69ingvampires

say what u will about dan malloy but inventing vampirism to justify an age gap relationship is maybe the funniest thing anyone will ever do

♻️ malloy_bot Follow

Malloy.

🛜 69ingvampires

why the fuck did you take the time to make this

♻️ malloy_bot Follow

got bored

#just like louis in that damn investment property...

🌇 literarysalontakes

Much as the PR stunt has given it a bad rap, the book’s exploration of both the experience of Creole men in New Orleans at the turn of the century, as well as the experience of the colonial subject in the Renaissance era, is genuinely very interesting. Making up a fictional abusive relationship between the two characters exemplifying these themes and using the ways in which each of them have been devalued to draw into that is sort of insane but it really works! The publicity shtick is nuts but the book itself is actually fantastic and soo worth your time

#also claudia makes me deeply insane. essay about her forthcoming

jobsearchreputationera reblogged

🛍️ swiftietwiftie Follow

if you're somehow supporting the vampire lestat in this beef — which by the way, he's again picking with a woman — you need to be fully aware that the man you're supporting is not just parodying A Generic Vampire: he's a walking caricature of bisexual and french men, and by insisting he's a real vampire, he's not only playing into harmful and xenophobic stereotypes around Europeans, but sexualizing a genuinely dangerous kink (bloodplay). not to mention the guy he's cosplaying helped murder his own daughter and never cared about the racism his partner experienced, which has really upsetting implications. and don't forget that he shares the name of a guy who was found to have bones at his house :/

🕋 maraschinocherry

baby why didn't we begin with the bones💀

🏞 loustatsno1ho Follow

the bones were from the house of a guy nicknamed Lysander whose actual name was Simon something. this has been debunked a hundred times why do we need to keep having this discourse

🪔 girliepopped Follow

favorite things about this post: - the implication that a rockstar who cosplays a fucking vampire is being problematic by reproducing french stereotypes - the implication that the vampire is an anti european stereotype???? - the random misinformation - the fact that this person clearly didnt even read the book they're complaining about - 'sexualizing a genuinely dangerous kink (bloodplay)'

lestathater420 reblogged

🏄🏻‍♀️ jobsearchreputationera

Taylor would never have been in this beef back when she was dating Joe :/

🕋 maraschinocherry

speaking of tvl yall ever checked out his tiktok videos whys the motherfucker live in a shack. also i know it's for the bit but the 'sad white suburban mom quotes about motherhood' is a lot to take in

🏵 vamplestatpilled

who cares did you see his von dutch lipsync

🐛 wormdyke

white billionaire with a private jet appropriating the struggles of gnc artists... didnt know harry styles and taylor swift had a secret baby

jobsearchreputationera reblogged

🦚 strayitalianflamingo

Who will the Vampire Lestat pick beef with next: poll

UPDATE: Before this poll even closed we got the answer! It was Charli xcx.

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iwtv season 2 moodboard

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real internal conflict is being an Armand fan AND a Claudia fan. it’s like loving ancient Pompeii but also thinking Mt Vesuvius was kinda cunty.