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How to spot signs and symptoms of Breast Cancer 

[teen-adulthoodguide]

Phrases for People-Pleasers!

From this post

If you tell someone how you want to be treated, what behaviors you don't tolerate in your life, what you're looking for in that relationship, and they react negatively, don't compromise yourself.

Example phrases for many situations:

I'm not comfortable with that.

I'd rather not, but thank you for the offer!

You're welcome to disagree, but that's not something I'm okay with.

No.

It's personal, and I'd prefer to keep it private.

That doesn't work for me. How about x?

I respect your opinion, but I'd rather do it my way.

That is behavior that I don't tolerate.

To each their own.

I'm not looking for feedback right now, but if I'm looking for input later, I'll let you know.

I'm not sure I agree; I thought x

When you did/said x, I wasn't okay with that.

I don't accept your apology.

I can accept your apology once you've addressed the problem.

Hey, could you help me with x?

I need to stop.

I need some time to myself.

[teen-adulthoodguide]

How to Find a Lost Dog!

According to this post

Take an article of clothing that has been worn at least all day, the longer the better, so the lost dog can pick up the scent.

Bring the clothing to the location where the dog was last seen and leave it there.

If the dog has a crate & familiar toy, you can bring those too (unless location undesirable for crate).

You might also want to leave a note requesting item(s) not to be moved.

Leave a bowl of water there too, as the dog probably hasn't had access to any. Do not bring food as this could attract other animals that the dog might avoid.

Come back the next day, or check intermittently if possible.

[teen-adulthoodguide]

Ive said this before but swear the biggest skill to learn as an adult is how to resist high-pressure sales tactics. You do NOT have to answer questions with anything other than "Sorry I'm not interested." No matter how nice they are or no matter how many follow up questions they ask or even how agitated they get when you stand your ground. Just keep saying I'm not interested. Don't answer their questions. Don't give them an opening to try to push back on your reasons. Be a fucking brick wall of I'm not interested.

[teen-adulthoodguide]

A free tip for work (and life, but especially work):

Thank/praise/explicitly show or verbalize appreciation every time a coworker does something helpful or useful, even if that thing is part of their job description. Turn it into a rote habit if possible - this will involve a certain small outlay of effort, but at this point it is mostly just an automatic reaction, like "excuse me" etc.

Even if you don't like the person. Even if they've explicitly been a dick about something else, whatever: dig up a "thank you" or a "fantastic" or some other positive response when they are in fact helpful/useful/etc, again, even if it's "just" because that's what their job is supposed to be.

Don't do this because it's "good". Do it because you're actually contributing to a little reward circuit in their heads that at the very least erodes a little bit at them being unpleasant, even, because down in the human social subconscious things go DING and dump out some reward chemicals when another human recognizes our efforts.

Also because it's nice to be able to point out that you were always polite and appreciative of their work even if they turn out to be your Work Enemy.

(It'll also make people who like you like you more, and incline people who are neutral to you to like you.)

[teen-adulthoodguide]

Some advices for online courses (because I've been homeschooled my whole life):

Make a plan: plan the subjects that you want to do, working hours (and of course, make a bit of time for yourself)

A dedicated space for work: working in bed or in a space where there is a lot of interactions can make it hard for you to focus so dedicate a space only for work (like a room only for work or a desk in your bedroom...)

No distractions: if you want to work effectively, put away all the things that you know could distract you (like phone, games or even books..)

Take breaks: it's very important to breath a little bit in between the work sessions so go walk outside or make yourself something good to eat..

Use the promodoro technique: very effective to focus and to know when to take breaks.

Discipline, discipline, discipline: remember that motivation is never constant when discipline is constant. You'll need a lot more of discipline during online courses and working from home.

Take care of yourself, eat healthy, drink and sleep well.

Anyway, I hope that helped some of you and I wish you all the best!!

ehyy! so this kind anonymous shared their tips and advices for online classes, thank you so much, I hope that this is going to be helpful for everyone interested!

[teen-adulthoodguide]

👩‍💻 How to Prep for an Important Presentation 🗃️

even if you don't start out on the right foot, every decision you make starting now can still ensure your success ✨

last week, i scheduled an important meeting for the end of the day today for everyone on my team to roast review the plans i had made for our upcoming project. i wanted to give myself as much time as possible to prepare for it, but things don't always go according to plan. when that happens, don't give up. all it takes is one step in the right direction to change your trajectory 🌠

Have All Presentation Materials Ready

i was multi-tasking up until yesterday and overestimated my ability to finish preparing everything on top of writing code and bug investigations, so i finished within hours of the meeting 🤡

Get Enough Sleep The Night Before

i went bouldering and then had dinner with friends last night, so not only did i not go to bed early, but i also had arms/wrists so sore that typing up all my presentation materials that i left to finish the day of became unusually difficult 🤡

Circulate Agenda / Relevant Documents

i know exactly one person besides myself reads the circulated documents prior to any meeting, but i circulated the completed document two hours before. at the same time, i know more notice would have been ideal not just for attendees, but for me to get early feedback that would've allowed me to present better 🥴

Practice Presenting, Answering FAQs

i had time for one run-through and while i couldn't help but be flustered during some portions of the meeting, i definitely felt more prepared than i would have been without any practice and honestly, my peace of mind and striving for my personal best is what's most important to me ☺️

Be Open to Actively Solicit Feedback

i notice there is a world of difference in response at times when you say "i am open to any feedback or questions, so feel free to jump in" vs. "does anyone have any questions, thoughts, concerns before i move to the next section" or even specifically calling people out based on what you know to be their area of expertise! ☺️

Post-Meeting Tasks, Follow-ups

got (positive!! 🙏) feedback from my manager ☺️

organized meeting notes 🗃️

scheduled follow-up meeting ⏰

reached out to other colleagues whose input we still need 💬

🍃✉️: whether you're preparing a presentation for school or work, hope this helps! 💚 do you have any go-tos when preparing presentations? 👀

[teen-adulthoodguide]

Fyi for anyone dealing with acne especially those deep ones that don't even pop, just sit there and hurt, don't get those pimple patches.

Not because they're harmful or anything, in fact they work quite well! But rather, get yourself a pack or two of hydrocolloid bandages. Not only are they cheaper than the pimple patches cause they aren't considered a "beauty item", they are larger than the patches, thicker, and stick waaaay better. They come in different shapes and sizes. Since they are bigger, you can cut them in half to get more bang for your buck. They suck out far more gunk than the patches do bc they are, again, bigger and can hold more. They're built to stay on for multiple days and don't come off in water easily.

Plus, you can slap them on a cut or scrape and they reduce the amount of scarring bc of how they keep things clean and moist for recovery. AND! if you're nasty like me and like seeing the gunk come out of pimples, it's very interesting to see just how much they puff up as they absorb the nasty shit in there.

I stick them on my cuticles cause I get infections there all the time and by golly do they help. They stay on in places regular bandaids don't, and shit that would otherwise take weeks to heal or even just calm down from infection are tip top in a couple of days.

[teen-adulthoodguide]

even more things that help me survive being alive part 3! (pt. 1/2)

eat directly out of the cooking pot or after putting food directly into tupperware after cooking so you don’t have to wash more dishes. and if you have leftovers you can just put the tupperware in the fridge

putting several plastic bags at the bottom of your trash can/waste bin so you can just take out a new one when the trash gets full. this helps me a lot in my bedroom and bathroom where the plastic bag hoard™ is too far away

keeping one of those transparent cold drink takeaway cups from a cafe and using that to drink my homemade coffee out of, just to make it feel like I’ve been somewhere

having a daily calendar that allows me to visually block out time for different tasks as my time-estimation is awful, and I think showering will take two hours

keeping a magnetic whiteboard on my fridge door that I write new grocery food items on so I know what I have to eat. no more rotting food bc you forgot it existed

a stock of passable quality readymade frozen meals, or frozen dumplings etc for when you want to eat but there are too many steps for even basic cooking

a personal one that I just kinda like - having a daily diary but not for complete sentences or fancy writing just very drily outlining what I did during the day. this creates smash hits such as “went to the store today. cried. watched encanto. cried again”

having a list of everything I could feasibly do on a day/hour off. includes all my hobbies, exercises or outdoor activities, language learning, friends (yes a list of your friends to remind u they exist), stuff I haven’t had time for, to-read/to-watch lists. otherwise I forget what’s out there!

[teen-adulthoodguide]

Hey, student loans payments are coming back in October, you should know about the SAVE plan.

this is america-centric but pls spread this around if you think any of ur mutuals could use the info.

If you're currently shitting yourself thinking how you're gonna start making student loan payments again, I suggest taking a deep breath, first off. Get comfy, put on some music and strap in.

If you got your student loans through the Federal Student Aid program FAFSA, then you can apply for an IDR (Income Driven Repayment plan) called SAVE.

what is SAVE?

This got my $115 monthly payment down to $40 a month, if you don't work or you can't afford much, this has the potential to reduce your payment even further.

Alls you need to do is go to https://studentaid.gov/idr/ and log into your federal student aid account, there's a section for both first time applicants and returning borrowers who previously may have had an IDR.

Even if you've done an IDR before! Look into the SAVE plan!! It forgave about 10k of debt for me!

Anyway, first time applicants can click the first option, "Apply for an Income-Driven Repayment Plan" and just go through and answer all their prompts, make sure you have all your financial information on hand (tax returns, most recent pay stub, etc) and go through the prompts until it gives you the option to apply for the SAVE plan. CLICK IT!

It should let you know at the end exactly how much you'll be paying per month and you should get an email confirmation as well. Any account specific questions should be directed to their call center +1 (800) 433-3243

GOOD LUCK AND BE PATIENT, THE SITE IS SLOW AS SHIT.

DON'T GIVE UP! I BELIEVE IN YOU!!

if you have any questions feel free to DM me btw

[teen-adulthoodguide]

Making a doctor’s appointment life hack

You know what the best way to schedule an appointment with a medical professional is? Phone them when the office is closed and leave a message!

No seriously, if you have any sort of anxiety involving making calls like this, this is the absolute perfect strategy, because you can:

Figure out everything you need to tell them ahead of time (name, what you’re phoning about, what you need help with, contact info)

Write this out into a script

Phone the office

Read your script verbatim

Hang up and let them phone back next time they’re open

I know it sounds like this is adding an extra level of stress to the process, because now they’re going to call you, but, the thing is? When they do call, all they’ll do is figure out when you want to schedule your appointment for and maybe ask for another detail or two. All the heavy lifting on your end is already done, and they’ll have done a chunk of the work they need to do before phoning you. Even if you miss their call and have to phone them back, this still remains true, and the basic conversation you’ll get as a result will be unchanged.

[teen-adulthoodguide]

I'm in the process of moving, so a few things that have worked for me:

If you know ahead of time that you'll be moving, start packing early. Seasonal clothes, things you know you won't need, etc. Just a box or two at a time can make the whole process a lot less overwhelming at go time. (I currently have an enormous pile of boxes sitting in the middle of my living room)

Books are dense and heavy-- I recommend packing them in things like cereal boxes and shoe boxes. Future you will thank you. (Unpacking small boxes is also less overwhelming than unpacking huge boxes full of everything).

Traditional boxes aren't your only option. A lot of my clothes are going in my reusable shopping bags, the aforementioned cereal and shoeboxes, etc.

Clothes make a good alternative to bubble wrap, but remember to stuff them loosely around fragile things.

Also use them to fill out boxes that are mostly full, so they don't squish when you set other boxes on top of them. Squished boxes make for unsteady stacks.

When you have furniture that comes with screws or tools or whatever, tape those things directly to one of the pieces of the disassembled furniture. It'll make finding them later on so much less of a headache.

[teen-adulthoodguide]

how to organize your room and keep it that way

a lot of people think of their rooms as just a place to dump stuff, but that's not the case! so here are a few tips on how to keep your room clean. it's not just for super organized people either; these are things anyone can do.

-have a dump bin

have a place to throw things like clothes/extra items you have/anything you want to put away in the moment but will put away later. this keeps stuff off of your floor.

-sleep on top of your covers

put a blanket at the bottom of your bed instead and use that. this is so you don't have to make your bed every single morning to keep it looking decent.

-have a place to put all your papers

have a spot to put school notes, receipts, volunteer forms, coupons, anything you want to keep in a safe spot. it's hard to organize papers if you don't have a place to put them! you can get some cute dividers from staples/walmart/target, wherever. hanging folders also help keep things tidy.

-have garbage/recycling bins

kind of an uncommon tip, but yeah. bigger ones work better because they can hold more before you have to empty them. not huge but big enough so that you don't have to empty them all the time. set a time to empty the bins so it doesn't just accumulate and it looks nicer.

-use under-bed storage

this one is super important! have a bunch of bins/bags under your bed if you can to hold things you want to keep but don't know where to put. like extra bags/makeup etc.

-group "like" items

if you have drawers/bins, have a different category for each drawer/bin. plastic bins with different compartments like from walmart or ikea work really well for this.

-use hangers

this helps you avoid just throwing clothes on your floor or bed. you just hang whatever it is up and deal with it later (more on that in a sec). this works for bags too!

-purge regularly

dedicate some time each week to cleaning out your dump bin and putting stuff on your hangers away. set a reminder on your phone or put it in your planner to remember.

[teen-adulthoodguide]

DEAR EDUCATIONALLY NEGLECTED HOMESCHOOLERS

I’ve gathered some resources and tips and tricks on self-educating after educational neglect. This is only what I did and what I know helped me. I’m about to graduate college with honors after having no education past the age of 9. I wouldn’t be here without the following. Everything is free, and at/well above the standard for education in the US.

The holy grail: Khan Academy. Nearly every course you could take is available here, in order and by grade level. Their open-source free courses rival some of the college classes I’ve taken. This is your most solid resource.

For inattentive types: Crash Course offers a variety of courses that are snappy, entertaining, and extremely rewarding. They work for my ADHD brain. They also have college prep advice, which is essential if you’re looking to go to higher education with no classroom experience.

To catch up on your reading: There are certain books that you may have read had you gone to school that you’ve missed out on. This list is the most well-rounded and can fill you in on both children’s books and classic novels that are essential or at least extremely helpful to be familiar with. You can find a majority of these easily at a local library (and some for free in PDF form online low key). There are a few higher level classics in here that I’d highly recommend. If it doesn’t work for you, I’d always recommend asking your local librarian.

*BE AWARE* The book list I recommend suggests you read Harry Potter books, and given their transphobic author you may or may not want to read them. If you choose to, I’d highly recommend buying the books secondhand or borrowing from a library to avoid financially supporting a living author with dangerous and damaging views.

TEST, TEST, TEST: Again, Khan Academy is your go-to for this. I don’t personally like standardized testing, but going through SAT and ACT courses was the best way I found to really reveal my gaps so that I could supplement.

Finally: As much as you can, enjoy the process. Education can be thrilling and teach you so much about yourself, and help shape your view of the world. It can get frustrating, but I’d like to encourage you that everyone can learn. No pace is the perfect pace, and your learning style is the right learning style for you. In teaching yourself, be patient, be kind, and indulge in the subjects you really enjoy without neglecting others. You are your teacher. Give yourself what others chose not to.

[teen-adulthoodguide]

This could save lives so I thought I’d share!

[teen-adulthoodguide]

job hunt tipssssss (and lessons learnt..)

tailor your resume to each position you apply

(1) always make your employers' job easier

include only the relevant experience and keep the descriptions straightforward.. recruiters are basically just ticking boxes, make it easy for them to do so or expect them to bin your CV after a quick glance

(2) have too many part-time/work gaps?

i highly recommend using a skill-based CV than a chronological CV for this case; not only is it waaaaaaaaaay easier to prepare but also makes your experience look more put-together since you can mix & match your relevant skills.. give it a shot if you've inconsistent work history or want to have a career change; i should mention it's also a game changer for people whom English isn't the first language

(3) review your cover letter before heading to an interview

i mean you've already explained why you're a great fit for the job in the application, just take advantage of that effort and reiterate everything during the interview --- preparation done!

dont use the same answer for interviews

.. it'll definitely make you come across as average

there are 3 key and frequently asked questions you should be ready for:

(1) tell me about yourself

start with a basic introduction, followed by your previous work experience (again, making them relevant to the job) and wrap up with a glimpse of your personality -- for instance, say something like.. I see myself as an ambitious and self-motivated person (.. and how these qualities fit the job profile!)

(2) what do you know about us/ why do you want to work for us

always research the company; mention its values or services, and how they resonate with you

(3) what can you offer us/ why do you think you suit this job

highlight how your experience aligns with the job requirements; this demonstrates your dedication and preparation.. and also shows the employer what they can expect from you

i hate interviews (who doesnt?).. i believe many of us are very qualified for jobs we're interested in but often struggle to demonstrate our competence effectively; my way to make the process less agitating is to view it as a cool opportunity for employers to learn about us: it's not an exam.. rather, it's a level playing field where two or more strangers come together to mutually explore each other.

This is your chance (after putting so much effort into preparing the application) to shine and let them know you're the perfect fit for the job they're offering!

never trust the reaction of the interviewer!

some interviewers acted super affirmative to each of my responses, making me feel like i was nailing the interview.. but then i ended up getting no job; i understand the intention is to encourage interviewees during the process, but pls dont take them too seriously and get carried away

stay focused and humble instead

always reflect after each experience (exactly what i'm doing now)

it's important to reflect on your performance and seek improvement for future applications

i always discover areas that could be done better while preparing for new job applications, even though i felt that i'd already given my best for the last one

the competition is fierce but dont worry about competing with other stronger candidates (what you cant control); instead, concentrate on what you can control which is demonstrating how you're the best candidate!

always put yourself in your employer's shoes and do the homework; focus on the good and keep trying, one day all your hard work will pay off and get the job you deserve

.

(i regret so much that i didnt perform better during my interview just nw🥲i dont want the same thing to happen to you, pls take my tips and prepare as much as you cn💔)

[teen-adulthoodguide]

Documentation in the workplace is extremely important!

Summarized from this post

Be careful what you put into an email. It never really goes away and can be used against you. But it can also be a powerful tool for workplace fairness.

You should summarize conversations for basically anything, but especially ones with your supervisor that include:

your supervisor asking you to do something illegal or against company policy

your supervisor asking you to stop doing something that is perfectly legal (like discussing wages)

something that could go wrong, and your supervisor will deny that they told you to do it

your supervisor wants to push back a project

your supervisor wants to temporarily change something like your schedule or tasks

Sample email snippets:

"I just want to make sure that I understood correctly that you want me to do [something that is not allowed by law or policy]" Quite often, once they see it in writing, they will change their mind about having you do it. If not, you have documentation.

"I'm happy to help out temporarily, but just want to make sure I understand correctly that I will get my old schedule back after [set time] as you promised."

"I want to clarify the discussion we had earlier - you told me to focus on Project B to the exclusion of Project A for the next two weeks, even if that means Project A will miss its deadline; is that correct?"

What do I do when the boss doesn’t reply to my confirmation email, then says that they never approved the project delay?

(For this to work you have to be militant about sending summary emails and firm with coworkers and supervisors that you will be documenting project plans via email, but once they're used to your habits it's worth the work)

In person or over the phone you say "that doesn't match with my memory of the project but let me check my records and I'll get back to you about what happened on this project."

Write an email to the boss

CC: work group, team lead, project partner, direct supervisor, etc.

(Depending on severity of problem) BCC: your personal email

Sample text: "Hi Boss, I'm trying to resolve some confusion here. After our conversation about priority projects on [date] I reached out to you for confirmation of these details (see attached outlook item) and didn't receive an update to the timeline since that communication. I have been working from the agenda we discussed (summarized in attached outlook item from [date]) in absence of further direction. Do you have a copy of your response updating the changes or correcting mistakes in my summary? It's possible that I didn't see your email and I'd like to identify where a communication was missed so that we can avoid issues like this in future projects."

If you don't have this kind of job but someday you'd might: start practicing.

After a casual conversation with friends, write up a brief synopsis of what you discussed & agreed to. (...Do not email this to friends unless you have their agreement that this would be a fun group project.)

"A, B, and C had a brief meeting about food options after the big game. We decided on pizza, with A and B agreeing to contribute X dollars each, and C agreeing to contribute Y dollars and also bring soda. A will call for pizza on the day of the game and schedule it for delivery at 8:30 pm."

"A, B and C discussed movie options. A wanted something light and fun; B wanted something scifi; C was fine with anything but horror. Nobody wanted superheroes. Decided on Lost Space Wanderers which opened last weekend; C agreed to research theatre options and report tomorrow."