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me: [nonchalantly describes horrific childhood trauma]

me, two minutes later: hmm. y'know, that's kinda fucked up now that i think about it

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A lesson on splitting as told by a bpd individual:

If you have bpd you may have heard of ‘splitting’. Splitting is dichotomic thinking, a term used to describe the inability to find a grey area in thoughts, feelings, or beliefs. A description of a person who splits sees the world in terms of black or white, all or nothing, good or bad. Splitting is a defence mechanism that allows sufferers to easily discard things they consider “bad” and enjoy things considered “good”. It is one of the nine criteria used to diagnosed BPD.

It’s as though one can only be a best friend or an enemy and anything they do considered as bad will permanently taint the memories and experiences with that person. It’s a reaction to the fear of abandonment, the idea of being abandonded seems so abhorrent, that it’s easier to just tell ourselves that person was evil, and everything nice they ever did was all a joke or part of an act. The problem is that we apply that same structure to ourselves. We need constant reassurance that we are a good person, because it is so easy to turn everything around as another reason to hate ourselves if we think we have done something wrong.

It isn’t unheard of that splitting can interfere with relationships, and events or arguments end in an absolute finish with no middle ground open for discussion. People who split are often seen as overly dramatic, of which such behavior can be exhausting and draining. Below is a list of the most common classic splitting signs.

Immediate thinking: (either-one-or-the-other style of thinking with no middle area)

Passive aggression (an indirect expression of hostility)

Emotional hypochondriasis (trying to get others to understand how severe your emotional pain is)

Projective identification (projecting emotions onto someone else, and then behaving towards that person in a way that results in them to responding to you with the emotions you projected onto them)

And non-sufferers, here are some things you can do to reassure your loved one.

Cultivate as much empathy and love as you can. Particular actions may seem intentional and devious, but your loved one is not doing any of this to gain satisfaction or behave in a toxic way, they are only defense mechanisms used when the sufferer feels defenceless. Remember that your response will set the tone of the problem and that you are the only one who can control your temper. Behaving in a hostile way will make the situation worse and will almost certainly taint and sour your loved one’s view of you. Failure to communicate fuels your loved one’s abandonment theory, so be sure to remind them that you care and you love them, and more than anything, please be patient. We are trying.

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Anyone ever feel like you have to overly justify every single thing you do to everyone around you in case they think what you’re doing is wrong?

“I’ll move this off the table in a moment, I just have to do this thing first and then I SWEAR I’ll move it so please don’t be mad”.

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therapist: you need to work on having better coping mechanisms

me, shoving 5 times the dosage of my medication down my throat within 5 seconds of feeling a bad emotion: oh?

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took it again bc why not. it gets worse

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I feel like most of the time anti-self dx people just have like… no experience with psychiatric treatment. When my psych suspected i had autism, she didn’t do some magic divination that us mere mortals are incapable of doing. She went online and got me pretty much the exact same self tests that people who self-dx have access to. Mental health providers don’t just magically sense what ur deal is. A huge part of part of their job is listening and observing so they can help their patient find the cause of their problems. I have never met a psychiatrist/psychologist/therapist who wasn’t practically ecstatic if their patient was introspective and knowledgeable enough about mental illnesses/trauma to give their own input. Especially with patients who otherwise have trouble verbally expressing and/or explaining their emotions. It makes it easier for a lot of patients to explain their problems, and it makes it easier for the psych/therapist to actually find out if that is the problem, and if so, to help them.

Stop shaming people for self-dxing.

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i retook it

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i did something wrong?

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heres a comic i drew about my anxiety w/ socializing as an autistic/adhd/neurodivergent person

plus an edit i added when i felt better

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Me, an Autistic:

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