telescopethetea - Tumblr blog

[telescopethetea]

Hey! If you're still accepting requests, maybe Hiccup with a cane or forearm crutches?

hope i made him honor

and tiny toothless :)

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I thought it suited them hahahaha

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what did Hiccup do

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One thing that bothers me a whole lot about the snk fandom is how a lot of white people in the fandom so easily and readily say genocide is good and justified when the story itself doesn't even say that

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Chemtrails over the country club screams eremika for some reason and i am on floor sobbing

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I think Aoi would be something like >:|

KNY ships

Tanjiro :) Kanao :|

Zenitsu :) Nezuko :)

Inosuke >:O Aoi :|

Sanemi >:/ Kanae :)

Giyuu :| Shinobu >:)

[telescopethetea]

Yes go off queen

response to @aibarn’s tweet wwwwww

[telescopethetea]

response to @aibarn’s tweet wwwwww

[telescopethetea]

ok listen, of all the things for me to get hung up on in FMA, it’s the fact that state alchemist titles are introduced as this sort-of code name, like a superhero identity. It reads like their title is supposed to be a stand-in for the alchemist’s actual name, which makes sense from a military intelligence standpoint. You don’t want some random dude going after your biggest weapons, so you give them ~secret identities~ and classify their files or whatever.

But:

NONE OF THE STATE ALCHEMISTS KEEP THEIR IDENTITIES QUIET

Seriously! A state alchemist walks into the scene and the first words out of their mouth are “HELLO IT’S ME, [FIRST NAME, LAST NAME], THE SO-AND-SO ALCHEMIST!!!” They’re all dramatic as hell, impossible to miss. They’re all rich, you know they’re the biggest topic of gossip, none of them are subtle at all. Even the Silver Alchemist, Giolio Comanche spends his ~30 seconds of screentime yelling about his name just so Scar knows exactly what’s up. Mustang walks into a room and literally everyone goes “oh shit, it’s Colonel Roy Mustang, the Flame Alchemist!” It’s not even close to being a secret!

Anyway, I’ve concluded that the titles were SUPPOSED to be a safety feature but alchemists are just too dramatic to be contained.

[telescopethetea]

THIS ENTIRE THING HA SME IN LITERAL FUCKING TEARS

Hey yall I had a fuckin thought 

So, as it’s roughly explained, the state alchemist program is a kind of “recruit potential human sacrifices” mechanism, with a side-order of “brute strength for the army”. But basically, the state alchemist title is mostly about being a researcher–given people like Shou Tucker exist, and given that the only requirement to stay a state alchemist is to submit a yearly report of your research that says “look I’m still being a useful scientist”.

So far, so far this is sensible, yeah? Father and the delightful children from down the lane are running a recruitment program for potential human sacrifices. So sure–butter them up! Give them lots of money, get them buddy-buddy with the government, and give them endless resources for research. It’s be pretty easy to trick a state alchemist in that position to open the portal if Sugar DaddyBradley is nudging them to do it.

And I’m still willing to go with this logic for the whole “draft the state alchemists into war” move. They make it pretty clear that was something of a last-ditch effort. And the blood transmutation circle around Amestris was an absolute necessity for Father’s plan. So the risk of a few state alchemists dying or resigning from your Potential Sacrifice Pool is worth it for the completion of the circle.

Now. To get to my fucking thought. 

Edward fucking Elric. This fucking fight-me 12 year old troglodyte shows up to the exam and performs circle-less transmutation in front of mother fucking Bradley, demonstrating to one of the seven Actual Fucking Homunculi that he’d already opened the portal. Ed was literally prepped as a human sacrifice before he showed up to Central. A fully set human sacrifice showed up at the homunculi’s door, said “hey look what I can do!”, proved he’d opened the mother fucking portal already, and said “hey yeah hire me”. Human sacrifice, free shipping, no assembly required, handcuffs not included!

They could have just tossed Ed into a shoebox and kept him there until the Promised Day. They wouldn’t even need to make up an excuse he attacked the f u  c k i n g president. That’s fucking treason babey. He’s 12, he’s an orphan, he’s from a rural town in buttfuck nowhere, he’s literally the easiest person alive to disappear. They could have arrested him for assassination crimes, kept him in gay baby jail, and just popped him out for the Promised Day

What do they do instead?! “Oh lmao this kid’s great. Let’s give him infinite money, no supervision, no governmental responsibilities, access to all our secret resources, and toss him on a train to who-the-fuck-knows-where-land”

They fucking did that

And like? They then had the audacity to be concerned when Edward “Fight Me” Elric almost got himself killed about 293 times. Just an endless game of “I thought u were watching him” from one homunculus to another when Ed fucking absconds half-way across the globe to go entice some other hostile entity into murdering him to death. That’s the whole series. Every arc is Ed baiting death while the homunculi are in the background like “:/ wish he wouldn’t do that”

This only gets worse when you consider they later learned Al opened the portal too because really?? These two stab-happy globe-trotting public menaces are 40% of your final evil plan for godhood. 40%. Almost half. You couldn’t fucking set aside a cardboard box to keep these idiots in?

We all knew Father was terrible at planning when we learned his thousands-of-years-in-the-making-plan involved him procrastinating until the last five minutes to get his last sacrifice, while he was?? playing chess in his fucking basement, I guess. But it’s like every time I think about it like really think about it I find 7 more reasons Father was a fucking shit idiot moron, king of the stupid fucking idiot club, flesh and blood founder of seven other established dumbasses, all living in their idiot hovel under central, just giving random dumbass 12 year olds infinite money, j u s t  b e c a u s e.

[telescopethetea]

romantic love is a conspiracy theory

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Ed: I think my instincts about people are way better than yours.

Winry: Why do you say that?

Ed: Well, you picked me, but I picked you.

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soul eater au where soul cant transform into a scythe so maka just beats the shit out of people with a regular ass dude

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blackstar appreciation post

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me @ myself at 6pm: okay i’m going to bed early today

me at 2am: haha pranked